Tuesday, 8 June 2010

Who Needs Lighter Balls?


Back from my break, punctuated by the wife’s brother’s marriage to a fine filly of Home Counties stock. Dad thinks talking about his golf handicap is hilarious, Mum’s a teacher with a brooding smile. The bride looked glowing. Umbria raged and cracked with thunder then reserved a baking hot twenty-four hours for the day itself.

May their wedded bliss trot happily into the Umbrian sunshine in a halo of diamonds, designer labels and dodgy all-over spray tans.

It seems that the Italians compact all their cynicism into their national football team and leave the rest of ‘em to smile and get on with their lives. The only thing that narked me was their 660ml bottles of Peroni were decorated with scorelines from the Azzurri’s previous World Cup successes. Four of them. Count them.

They don’t even know the meaning of the phrase forty-four years of hurt, the cocky bleeders. (Apart perhaps from Marco Materazzi whose ribs might still jangle for all eternity after the last final.

So what have I missed? Well not as much as Rio Ferdinand is going to that’s for sure. And not pizza. Christ I’ve had so much mozzarella my craps are coming out all stringy. Too much info. Apologies.

I’ve missed the fact that Shaun Wright-Phillips has made the plane. Fabio’s a fool - he could’ve taken young Adam Johnson and put SWP in Becks’s Gucci hold-alls. No one would’ve known.

Warnock’s presence proves that sometimes you look best if you just sit tight and let the other bloke make play with all the direction of a cub scout on a luggage carousel.

And Carrick’s there somehow – but the lad’s as brittle as a Cadbury’s Flake if you ask me and if he gets a start against the US that’ll be the one and only I suspect.

Of course the big news is Rio’s World Cup is over following a challenge by Emile Heskey. Who said Heskey was a terrible finisher, eh? One of vem fings, according to the erstwhile skipper but fortunately we have a ready-made fit-as-flea-replacement on hand in Ledley K... oh booger.

I’m assuming Steven Gerrard is now our captain. Stevie G. Not exactly the first name on my teamsheet at the mo. But Fabio’s admitted the wearer of the armband is cursed so maybe he’s got his fingers crossed that the Liverpool skipper might tweak a hamstring (or a nipple in his case, such has been his physical frailty) and eventually they’ll forget about giving anyone the job in the hope that they all fulfil the cliché of being 11 captains.

In the meantime I am given to understand that Rooney’s launching four-letter invectives at officials. This Jeff Selogilwe bloke is building up his part, isn’t he? Just how rare does he think it is to get sworn at by Wazza. Hellfire it’s almost a compliment. I hear the sewer-tonsilled Scouser made it up to the ref by giving him a sweaty shirt as compensation.

Nice touch, Wayne. It’s not like them polyester mix cling-film tops don’t flaming reek after walking to the shops in the damn things let alone after ninety minutes run-around with a right hairy apoth within it.


'Hooray - now to grow a crap beard and run the cloob slowly downhill'

And today, oh joy of joys, Rafa Benitez is departing these shores to take over the hotseat from the special one, probably crossing into Italy as I left. He’ll be up at the manager’s office right soon, opening the windows to let out the stench of utter self-satisfaction, repairing the doorframe after that massive bonce crashed out of it for the last time.

I expect Inter fans to get a not dissimilar team off old Faffa, but without the irritating iron will that Mourinho instils into his teams. A kind of Inter lite, I suppose.

It’s come at a good time for Liverpool. They surely didn’t want the bloke hanging round and continuing to furnish the Anfield turf with more useless sods than Wembley’s terrible surface.

So the trawl begins for Liverpool with Hodgson up the top of the list, I guess. Mind, he’s just signed Senderos so maybe the old boy’s marbles are getting a little difficult to locate. Ian Wright says Hodgson getting the job would be a victory for all English managers.

Mind you he also says stuff like ‘They need to get at ‘em, get in their faces, I mean they’re not doin’ nothin’! I mean come on England, come on!’ That’s the sort of intellectual input any national broadcaster really craves. Come to think of it with young Shaun out there he’s going to be worse than ever.

Frankly it wouldn’t be a victory for English managers any more than Inter’s Champs League triuph was a victory for Italy. It would be a great achievement for a fine old fella if Woy was to get the post, but then again they better hire him soon cos there’s a frigging shedload of dossiers blocking the door to the manager’s office.

The other thing of note is these new bloody footballs they’re playing with. Every major tournament some new ball gets invented that’s supposedly superior to the last. I remember one being described as the roundest ever, as if footballers up and down the land were stopping mid-run-up and asking themselves if the object which they were about to clog upfield could possible be called a true sphere.

This new jobby – called a jambalaya or summat – has already drawn criticism from Buffon and Casillas. It’s very light apparently. Which is the way things are going isn’t it. Soon toddlers will be able to twat a Ronaldo special in from forty-five yards with enough dip and spin to boggle the minf of Stephen Hawking (not that the Prof will be between the sticks, naturally).

How long before Darren Bent nabs a fluky winner for Sunderland cops some errant away fan chucked a proper flaming football on to the pitch? Bring back caseys with laces that took out your eyeballs. They were balls with balls if you get my meaning.

COME ON ENGLAND!!!!

499 comments:

  1. 'hurst' (its like first, but more apt)

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  2. Nice one, can't believe SWP went instead of Walcott, just hope we play better in the tournament than in the warm-ups.

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  3. Aye Robbo,

    only real buff with Capo is he should have taken Johnson instead of SWP.

    But then again, he said he will only select on form and fitness.

    He is therefore taken Gerrard, King, Terry, Cole, Cole, SWP, Carra, Carrick, Heskey (called up Scholes who had the decency to decline, very unbecoming of scholes to pull out of a tackle)

    Plus he HAD to had his contract sorted before he left.

    Chevalier, I ask thee?

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  4. I agree Spit.. there are too many players that are out of form or still carrying slight injuries in the squad.

    Anyway guys, I am away. type to y'all later.

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  5. forty-four years of hurt and counting

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  6. This is a much better time to post a blog, you don't get all the slackers on who are supposed to be working......

    What was that mate?? Yeah. yeah, your beer's on the way.

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  7. i saw rio is saying "dont blame heskey". dont blame him? he's done us a favour in getting the injury waiting to happen out of the way. the suspense was killing me.

    agree about johnson. i think all the others bar rooney and joe cole you sort of know what youre going to get.

    i see SWPs chances of starting as roughly equal to those of the Socialist Workers Party being invited to join the coalition

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  8. if they want a beer, H, tell them to send an e-mail

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  9. ok theres a flaw in the logic there. i just spotted it. kings an even more inevitable injury waiting to happen. carragher and upson are depndable tho....dependably crap. terry turns with the agility of an oil tanker. 3 lets face it average goalies. oh shit.

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  10. Maybe Capello thought he was taking the whole Socialist Workers Party with him to SA Blog.
    It's the only way picking SWP makes sense.

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  11. In never check my e-mail Blogs, so the wait is just as long.
    Mrs H is behind the bar at the mo, but I'll be taking over in a bit.

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  12. Good to have you back Robbo. Think you have done well to miss the build up. Its dragging on a bit.

    As for the ball, weirdly, i was given one of them today as a pressie from a supplier. Nice touch. Will get the missus to go in goal in the back garden tomorrow and i will pelt some shots at her. I will report back on what its like.

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  13. its the roundness of the modern ball which we struggle with. bring back cube-shaped caseys as used in 1966!

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  14. STGP, if the missus manages to save a few, get on the blower to Fab, Heskeys bound to crock one of the keepers in training and she can't be much worse then Green or Calamity.

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  15. e-mails, H? no time for them. nothing really gets through to me unless you grab me by the shoulders, shake some sense into my vacant gaze and shout out the message 3 times, slowly

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  16. the plan is this. unleash heskey to run amok, injuring their defenders. then send on crouch to make the uninjured defenders laugh. meanwhile stevie g sneaks the Captain Curse arm band onto their best plyer's arm, you know like at school you used to stick signs on your mates back "im a twat. kick me"

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  17. H, im sure she will save a few, she will only be 8 yards away when i kick em...after my 30 yard run up.

    She has a strong punch as well....unfortunately.

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  18. Welcome home Robbo, I agree with H2, much better to post when most are kickin' the cat out and putting their teeth in a glass.

    Why would Hodgson possibly want that Liverpool job? Or any other well qualified candidate? The team will be up for sale on ebay in a couple of weeks and as soon as the stinkin' rich new owner comes in the first one to get kicked out will be the manager (lemme hear you say SPARKY HUGHES). Unless of course it's Kenny Dalglish and if he's in charge they'll get higher bids anyway!

    It'll be easier for Capello and the rest of the squad when twelve of the current 23 are injured. Much better playing knowing that you're in the team to start every game, no pressure from the squad system. Hopefully he'll settle on 11 and tell them that they're the first team, get out there and do it. All this experimental farting about should have stopped a year ago. Man down, bring one in, show some conviction Fabio, give them the bloody ball and 'ave at it!.

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  19. Nice one Robbo, as always.. think I'll have a go at this blog writing lark as I wing my way to Cape Town from Newastle on Friday... No doubt I'll be as funny as a Redcar steelworker, but hey its worth a shot.

    By the way (and looking through the comments)... SWP / Walcott... wouldnt have taken either of them - We'd have been better off with Chris (T)Waddle instead (and at least he's had 20 years to practice pennos.... AJ was the man to take, so I'm buggered if I know why he's not on the plane (unless like most of the inhabitants of Smogland, he cant quite manage to understand which end of the pen he needs to use to fill out the passport application :-)

    Cheers !

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  20. your in-laws sound considerably richer than yow, robbo. hope they dont follow your blog. the dads not the disturbed-looking guy disguidsed with false nose and glasses pictured amongts your followers, is he?
    looking at the pics of your lurkers, above right, you are followed bya right bunch of fereaks and weirdos. you probly knew that tho

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  21. Trott im with you mate.

    why oh why do we have ferdinand out injured, king with his dodgy knee, lennon just back & joe cole getting his fitness back.......when SWP is available all the blinking time. God has shat on us again.

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  22. wcgerdie -i guess AJ just wasnt old and decrepit enough. caps pensionble and the young guys just make him feel even older. oldest av age squad of any country and the oldest we've ever taken

    it would be good to read your views wcg from SA as journalists arent real people anymore. someone changed the law last year so everything in england has to be really bland so that no one gets upset

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  23. agree with you trott. too much fannying around in the build-up.

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  24. STGP, having a stabity in the team is a foreign concept to some foreigners and Englishmen alike!

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  25. Bloggy, i disagree mate. I think Robbo is already middle class. He says he was drinking peroni, but i reckon he will probably be writing a wine blog now.

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  26. ive been overcome by a wave of pessimism. im off before i stop believing we'll get through the group stage

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  27. one more thing - warnocks there because he couldnt possibly be as bad as baines could he?

    i agree

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  28. TrotterUSA said...
    it's in the bag blog!

    thanks, trott. i need to keep hearing that. youre right of course we are defiinitely going to win it. definitely.

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  29. Blog, loads of countries have problems with injuries. USA (trott please back me up on this) are hard working but arent likely to tear us to shreds. Algeria and Slovenia arent as good as USA.

    We will qualify with 7 points.







    i hope

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  30. Warnock's there for two reasons...1. because he doesn't get homesick and 2. is a secret between him and Fabio.

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  31. the USA will be hard working, well organised and they'll run their bollocks off. Less talented than us but well capable of a surprise if we're not 100% committed.

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  32. WCgeordie, Wadle can't even pronounce the word penalty (pelanty he calls it) let alone take one.
    Have fun in SA.

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  33. sorry, 3 reasons...3. That whole JT, Wayne Bridge and whatshername love triangle.

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  34. I often heard the saying "let's go Dutch" in the U.K, ironically never here in Holland though. Anyway why can't we go Dutch and take their squad instead?

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  35. that'd be half their squad H, which half?

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  36. All the ones with Van in their names plus Robben and Sneijder.
    Or is that more then half? There's a dam lot of Vans, but no Van Damme's.

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  37. No sorry Trott.
    I even googled it to make sure, I got linked to a face book from someone called Lot van Damme, does that count?

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  38. Probably not, but then again who really gives a Damme.

    OK, enough of the damn jokes. How's the build up to the WC stateside Trott? Are the Yanks excited or don't they really care.
    I was in L.A in 2002 during the WC. I was in my hotel room on Sunset Boulavard and I watched the US team beat Portugal, I thought, great, there's gonna be a party here tonight. So I went to the nearest Sports Bar, but all the punters were watching other sports, oblvious to the fact that there team had just pulled off a major shock.

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  39. yep, that's pretty much the way it is. I can switch on the soccer channels and get it but it's same old same old. Stanley Cup play-offs and NBA play-offs are making headlines today. World Cup gets about 2 minutes out of 12 hours on sports talk radio and a rookie pitcher making his debut for Washington Nationals tonight is the story of the day. NFL training camps have opened so not much footy focus!

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  40. It probably won't get popular untill the Yanks win the thing (yeah right) and Disney make a movie about it a decade later;
    "Soccer Sensation, A Miracle on Grass" or something gawd awful like that.

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  41. there's plenty of talk about it in the "soccer media" but just not in the main stream. If the USA were to beat England on Saturday it might get two minutes on the network news stations. It's just not a big deal to them like it is to us. Their interest in soccer is probably about equal with the average Englishman's interest in Basketball, some love it, the vast majority couldn't give a rat's arse.

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  42. David Becham's fault that, Trott.
    Wasn't he paid a squillion dollars to raise the profile of the game in the States?
    Nah seriously, I don't suppose "soccer" will ever be that big stateside, my theory is that the TV execs don't like it because they can't cut away for ads every couple of minutes. Less ads means less revenue and that is just not the American way. Basketball, Baseball, NFL etc lots of breaks, lots of ads, mucho dinero for the fat cats. Now that's the American way.

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  43. yes, that's a part of it but when another 100 million immigrants arrive from south and central america it'll be wall to wall soccer!

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  44. Who'd thought it? Johnny (Juanito) Foriegner riding in (sneaking over the border) to save the day.

    Anyways I'm calling it a night, gotta help the little lady clear out the Dungheap.

    Peace Bruddah.

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  45. rare foray into the morning lurking

    is that poetic or pure bollocks

    talking of which, is Michael on his way out of the blues, given german papers talking about Chelski wanting to sign the pigclimber

    Spit,

    whats the goss dahn sarf

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  46. Why so much pessimism so early?, why not wait till Late Sat night, then let it really kick in

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  47. now wheres that bus?

    should be able to lurk tonight

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  48. I'm quite intrigued by goalkeepers saying that these new balls do all sorts of things in flight,make them look foolish etc.Surely the same then must apply for outfield players.Does this mean a simple 5 yard pass will lead to chaos?

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  49. Jacks - Jabulani means “rejoice” in Zulu. the ball was designed by a guy using kicking robots at Loughborough University. He's quoted in The Star as saying "with our "grab and grip" technology ,outfield players won't have a problem hitting the target, as long as they wait until they can see the whites of their eyes"

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  50. Will the sights on the ball affect the aerodynamics?

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  51. Who knows but one player said it was like kicking a beach ball. Goalies won't like it at all and at £65 for one I'm not buying one

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  52. So if it's like kicking a beach ball,shouldn't we have taken Darren Bent?

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  53. Looks like I have hit a dry spot again... anybody willing to give me a summary or am I gonna have to read the comments.

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  54. England players want James in goal according to this

    ... and "Former England skipper Terry Butcher says if he was a United States defender he would "belt" Rooney in order to wind him up."... the only time I have seen sound advice from Butcher.

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  55. COME ON ENGURRRRRRLAND!!!!!!

    And oh, Biggie Mike, where at thou?

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  56. Butcher vs Rooney

    FFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  57. Hey Bo, I think you'll just have to read it all. I just did, not much. But as it is i think those guys up in the Northern Hemisphere are all asleep

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  58. this made me laugh from H2H commenting on RB's latest strangely brilliant blog :

    Is the Isle of Dogs the Isle of Man's best friend?

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  59. bo - i wouldnt bother reading any of the posts, including this one

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  60. And this referee guy, I think he needs to cool down. I mean if he were working where I'm at now, he'd have died of a heart attack....... Rooney's rant was justified, and then again what's wrong with Wazza screaming "Fuck you?" That's Rooney for crying out loud and that's mild. He should be subjected to Sir Alex's hairdryer if he thought that was insulting

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  61. The Isle's are the best friends, but the Dog and the Man? I doubt

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  62. You are a shrewd judge blog, so I'll take your word for it... cheers.

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  63. H2, has the knack of finding a pun in almost anything.

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  64. fuck you is a term of endearment in the rooney household

    morning coleen, fuck you
    well fuck you
    and fuck you too
    hewo wickle kai, fuck you, baby
    (kai gurgles) uck oo!

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  65. Monk... you are close to the action, how are things shaping up in SA?

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  66. do you really think he would say good morning blog?

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  67. H is the punmeister, which strangely, is also the brand name of his best selling beer.

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  68. OK Gents, here's the first instalment of my blog

    http://worldcupgeordie.blogspot.com/

    Let me have your comments

    Thanks

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  69. "morning" - two syllables. youre probably right, bo

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  70. are you in NJ, wcg? i think thats not a million miles from where trotterUSA lives, upstairs above the BadaBing, if i remember rightly

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  71. Not bad worldcupgeordie but you could do with some hummour in there. As a Sunderland resident I'm not sure I could agree with the assertion that Newcastle fans are normal but as I support Man Utd anyway I'll let you off.

    Check this one out as well

    http://adampsb.blogspot.com/2010/06/red-ngone.html

    BTW you haven't put a comments function on your blog

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  72. adam - there is a comments function. why would wcg want to put hummous in there? its a blog, not a felafel. i know its not a felafel because it didtnt make me feel awful/felafel/feel awful joke there somewhere

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  73. Things are shaping up nice and smooth this side. And apparently England have taken to the climate as well, England....... I thought of one of them H2H puns but decided otherwise. But anyways..... Word on the streets is Vuvuzela's are going to be blown for like 30minutes at noon and hell we're gonna be in shit. But not to worry though, I'm immune to the sound.............. or am i deaf already?

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  74. blogdignag said...

    adam - there is a comments function. why would wcg want to put hummous in there? its a blog, not a felafel. i know its not a felafel because it didtnt make me feel awful/felafel/feel awful joke there somewhere
    ___________________
    Tsatsiki for you to say....

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  75. jacks - football debate with a twist of middle eastern food puns by hal-al shearer

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  76. jacksofbuxton said...
    blogdignag said...

    adam - there is a comments function. why would wcg want to put hummous in there? its a blog, not a felafel. i know its not a felafel because it didtnt make me feel awful/felafel/feel awful joke there somewhere
    ___________________
    Tsatsiki for you to say....
    ______________________

    Pita I didn't think of that sooner

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  77. sheesh and deshished with these puns ive kebab enough

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  78. Looking forward to the Brazilians salsa-ing their way around the opposition and saying tara(masalata)to everyone...

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  79. Steve McClaren has announced a new signing for Wolfsburg.Shami Hyppia...

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  80. ANd looking forward to the burritos blowing the vuvuzela on Friday

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  81. And the German's will be lead on the field by Baking Shwarma-steiger

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  82. odd thing for a burrito to do Monk.

    I thought they just sat there with guacamole waiting to be eaten by people

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  83. Gotta be quick.

    Started an internship and it's all go!

    On an entirely unrelated matter - anyone got any news stories with an Irish slant?

    Any news on RBA jnr yet?

    And Robbo - You need a sub, and not the impact variety!!

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  84. I have a story with an Irish slant. The Appleby Fair in Yorkshire is on and all the bloody pikey's are clogging up the A1 and A66.

    BTW Potatoes may be in short supply soon so you'll have to stock up on guiness or import pasta

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  85. not for the first time in my life I have nothing to add.

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  86. Here's a bit of Aussie flag waving for ya.

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  87. ... and a bit more but this from one of the country's better commentators.

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  88. bellamack

    Catholic magazine really should be more careful about cover photos.http://tinyurl.com/2g6kf45

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  89. Gaz heres a news story with an irish slant

    Top o the morning to you. capello has ticked off some camera people for taking "pictures", begorrah, but sure 'tis a grand day to be alive!

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  90. jacksofbuxton said...
    bellamack

    Catholic magazine really should be more careful about cover photos.http://tinyurl.com/2g6kf45

    -------------

    thats no fail, thats the new recruitment drive for priests

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  91. bit of a low blow that blogidy...

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  92. newsarse

    NEWS! Kenny Dalglish begins search for new Liverpool manager called Kenny Dalglish http://bit.ly/aLzeTM

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  93. Buenos Dias Dudes.

    Glad you liked that yesterday Blogs, it came to me in the Dungheap after a drunk a liter of nice cold Punmeister with a Deleter chaser.

    Just checked out Jacks KG link and was amazed because I didn't really look properly and thought it was the BBC website, best lay off the Deleter tonight then.

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  94. However, Anfield legend Kenny Dalglish has put himself forward to take over at Liverpool and has withdrawn from the panel to select the next boss. (Daily Express)
    ------
    So Jacks link was kinda true!

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  95. United States players had a pep talk from Commander Dan Jollota, the helicopter pilot who inspired the film Black Hawk Down, ahead of their opening World Cup game against England on Saturday.
    ---------
    A pep talk from a guy who couldn't keep his flying machine in the air!

    GO USA

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  96. Robinho's camp has expressed a desire to move to Barcelona, with Manchester City possibly offering the Brazilian in a swap deal for midfielder Yaya Toure.
    Full story: The Guardian

    ------
    His camp? What is he, a pikey?

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  97. Robinho's camp

    -----

    ive always thought that

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  98. hows business, H? i love the idea of doing what youre doing but have a horrible feeling id be a raging alcoholic within a year

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  99. Robinho' camp
    A holiday destination where you can remain for years but you will want to leave after a short stay.
    (Bloggy's was better.)

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  100. if geert wilders gets in will they kick you out or does he only hate moslems?

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  101. Blogs, I was a raging alcoholic anyway mate. 25 years working in clubs, disco's and bars will do that to ya.
    I work long hours and I don't have too much time for anything else, but it's still miles better then having a "real job". We're starting from zero and it was a place that had been closed for a few years so I'm building it up from scratch. It's not always full or real busy, but I'm starting to build up some regulars and with the trade I have I can run the place without a loss and that of course is the main objective (with all start up ventures) WC starting this weekend should boost the coffers if Oranje do well.
    It's always a gamble but like I said before, beats having a proper job and I'm a decent boss and I treat myself well.

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  102. Geert Wilders is a twat, my ex girlfriend was his secretary for a while, he worked the poor lass in to a nervous breakdown. (No, it wasn't my fault too)
    He's one of those muppets how hates stuff, but pretends not too, his messages and standpoints are vague at best and pretty contridictionary.

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  103. Really nice heartwearming article - well worth reading

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1284993/Bethany-Fenton-dies-2-days-fulfilling-final-wish-sing-Simon-Cowell.html

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  104. respect, H. at least being your own boss if you start slacking you can always cut costs by sacking yurself.

    im a bit of a robinho (without the campness). try something for a while, get bored, move on. gets you nowhere!

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  105. sorry adam id rather stab my retinas out with a rusty nail than read teh daily mail.

    have they realised yet that scuppering the wc bid with gutter press tactics has probably driven it into the welcoming arms of johnny foreigner?

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  106. diane abot for PM!

    (as if that would ever happen)

    the British Obama!

    (laughs up sleeve)

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  107. I'm afraid sacking myself is not an option Blogs, bloody liberal laws.

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  108. Somebody earlier asked how's the hype. Blog? there you go guys.....

    http://www.highveld.co.za/pages/events/gallery/browse.asp?imageid=8362

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  109. we should do a robbo blog meet in middenmeer. someone told me the local pubs run by a really decent bloke who can offer free beer

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  110. monk - looks like he's driven through a flag stall

    have you read worldcupgeordie's blog -he gives the link above? he's just landed in SA and is there for the competition. promises to be an interesting lil read

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  111. And this is what The Monk - a small boy with a Greenwich University engineering degree - helped create and build

    http://construction.gautrain.co.za/
    http://www.gautrain.co.za/img_gal/

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  112. Whoopie new blog.

    If Buffon and Casillas start complaining about WC balls, Almunia would not have stood a chance at all with these balls.

    G'day to all!!

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  113. Ahh you mean the "spoilt brat" geordie, yup i have and have posted a comment already. Pitty he'll be down the coast but I'm up in the highlands. The hype is huge man

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  114. Perhaps Wenger should take a note of it and buy truck load of these balls and use in pre-season training.

    Atleast Almunia and Fabianski will be ready for easier balls next season.

    Who was the Polish keeper last night when Spain buried 6 goals? Cesc Fabregas scored with his first touch...

    I have a feeling a Gooner will have his hands on World Cup.

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  115. Impressive Monk, I find it hard enough to construct a sentence.
    ----
    Blog, don't believe everything you read, that Dungheap bosss is a total basterd, I had to say nice things about him because I was watching myself.

    Diary's of a schizophrenic (I promised myself I wouldn't read it)

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  116. Btw, my new blog's up, a simple one on World Cup Parties

    Enjoy reading and post comments. Catch y'all later in evening.

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  117. Summary of a good article below

    The fashion this summer is for miserablism. Where England used to go into tournaments on a wave of, admittedly, often unfounded optimism and tub-thumping, the trend this year is to point out every fault in a world weary tone.

    'Just for the sake of it, make sure you're always frowning, it shows the world you've got substance and depth,' sang the Pet Shop Boys, and there has been quite a bit of that about of late.
    Much of it comes in the name of giving the public what it wants, except the public does not know what the hell it wants either. Half want chuckle-headed cheerleading, tied to a news blackout around any information or opinions that may adversely affect the team, others would have every bulletin written from the perspective that England will ultimately be passed off the park by Spain or Brazil or go out on penalties to Germany, so the entire campaign will be an exercise in futility.

    So a reality check, yes, but why so joyless? It would seem that this year the preferred outlook is the studied languor of the only grownup in the village. Home in on the flaws, pick apart the weaknesses, a contemptuous curled lip at the ready for the first sign of optimism. Where is the pleasure in that?

    Who wants to be proved right when the sullen prediction is another summer of frustration and failure? It is as if we are insuring against defeat by getting our negativity in first.

    'Deny that happiness is open as an option, and disappointment disappears overnight.' That's the Pet Shop Boys again. (The song is called Miserablism, if you're interested. It's a satirical poke at Morrissey. Half-decent remix by Moby, too. Both versions to be found below.)

    It looks like my infiltration of synth-pop into the popular footballing culture is working


    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/worldcup2010/article-1285079/MARTIN-SAMUEL-Let-s-sunny-street--CAN-win-World-Cup.html#ixzz0qMNCZSvQ

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  118. G'day SS11
    Maybe Almunia would have done better. Who knows. But the one thing that baffles me about them balls is "they're rounder". What the fuck is that supposed to mean. The 98 ball was rounder than before, the 02 ball, and the 06 ball, now this is even more rounder...... BULLSHIT!!!

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  119. Hey lads - you lot were on form last night - shame I missed it - and I hadnt realised Oz was so bloody big - by the way - did Peter Crouch?

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  120. FBH repent from talking about football and study above article summary.

    You can then listen to the remix of Miserablism which is on the PSB Greatest Hits compilation you admitted to owning

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  121. Adam - I will brab my CD - and get back to you - I was in Yarm last night - grab a granny night - good fun - and re Gok Wan - I updated my facebook profile with "WTF is Gok Wan" - guess what 3 of my female friends replies - its a woman thing - aint read the blog yet - any good???

    Are we allowed to paste a link to this on the BBC blogs - need to keep marketing - mind I am impressed with 285 followers!!!

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  122. Adam - I will brab my CD

    -------------

    Is Brabbing a new method of CD listening.

    Radio 1 is running a competition to go to teh download festival. Do they just sit around with MP3 players plugged into a communal laptop there?

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  123. In fact the same question with T In The Park. Why can't it be Coffee or Tango in the park for a change (although the latter would mean either Ballroom dancing or Phil Brown would be there for 2 hours)

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  124. fbh.

    285 followers, bloody hell mate, you could be the new messiah.
    How many sandwiches can you make from 5 loaves and a few fish? Or can you divide a single parmo into enough pieces that everyone can eat heartilly? Tell us oh enlightened one. ;p

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  125. 285 followers, now that's some nice shit FBH

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  126. Monk it is Robbo who has the 285 followers. FBH only has 1 - an interesting lady called Tracey who I am sure tried to "converse" with him at the grab a granny night in Yarm

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  127. Manchester City midfielder Gareth Barry took part in training again, although he has ruled himself out of the game against the US as he recovers from an ankle problem.

    ----------------

    Why did we bother taking him again I bet he doesn't play in any of the group games. Would have been better off with Huddlestone or Hargreaves

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  128. mornin' Lads,

    If Robbo has 285 followers he must have at least as many again lurking. Remember when jacks posted the FFSL link, there were 400 signed up in no time flat.

    I'm with Adam on this one, Barry is a waste of a ticket but one he got more from Fab's loyalty. I've always thought that he tackles like Trevor Brooking (about once a season).

    Still, must stop finding fault because one or more of these lads will soon be the new national Hero with their mug shot on a postage stamp raising the trophy aloft. (see RBA's blog for Hero definitions).

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  129. H2 - them followers arent following me mate - they are following Robbo - until the revolution of course!!!

    Hey I cooked a Vindaloo today - clever eh - trouble is cant eat it as playing 5 a side at 7pm!!! And wont want any after - why did I bother????

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  130. i'll have it, fbh. stick it in the post.

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  131. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyNvyn0mBXY

    Nice to see the talentless James Cordon being shown to be talentless

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  132. the wave of pessimism is still upon me

    injured/ill: 4
    milner
    james
    barry
    swp

    recentl back from injury : 7
    lennon
    cole
    cole
    king
    terry
    johnson
    rooney

    no form (excluding the above) : 3
    defoe
    carrick
    gerrard

    not very good (excluding above) : 7
    green
    upson
    dawson
    warnock
    heskey
    crouch
    carragher

    that leaves : 2
    hart
    lampard

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  133. that embarrassing witless spat with stewart?

    toe-curling

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  134. adampsb said...
    Monk it is Robbo who has the 285 followers. FBH only has 1 - an interesting lady called Tracey who I am sure tried to "converse" with him at the grab a granny night in Yarm
    -----------

    I also hear that FBH has been flown out to S'Africa to accompany Wayne on any nights out.

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  135. And also on the subject of James Corden: He's a fat useless prick who's sole purpose in life is to pretend he's famous and funny.

    He's about as funny as herpes.

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  136. Evil-Weazel said...
    And also on the subject of James Corden: He's a fat useless prick who's sole purpose in life is to pretend he's famous and funny.

    -------------------

    haha, that's hilarious! Does Herpes play for Chelsea too?

    He's about as funny as herpes.

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  137. ooops, slight cut and paste issue with that one!

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  138. G'day all... an interesting analysis of team England's fitness (both physical and mental) there blog... if you add players capello not happy with... Hart 1.. it would seem that Lampard is left carrying all our hopes on his shoulders.

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  139. FBH... don't you know that curry is better eaten the next day.

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  140. Come on you wasters, get back on your collective arses and type something here.

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  141. FBH, a friend of mine returned from Bali yesterday and brought me a packet of the local smokes... Gudang GARAM... if you want to give up smoking permanently get yourself a packet mate... I guarantee you wont finish em.

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  142. Seems the Asian Football Confederation is backing a European bid for WC 2018, which didn't please Football Federation Australia... but the FFA is still going ahead with their bid to host the wc in 2018 or 2022... they have no chance in getting it in 2018.

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  143. Curry has now been dispensed to fridge and freezer in several portions in view of Bo's culinnary expertise - or is it cunny expertise - always did get mixed up.

    And no fags today for FBH!!!

    Hows it going lads? Excited? One more day!!!!! Bring it on.

    Potential shocks?
    Uruguay bveat france
    England draw with USA
    Oz beat Farterland

    Who would want to enter Big Bro (apols non uk) in World Super Soccer Dome Cup year - girls eh!?!?

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  144. Herpes - a funny knob - aka - Corden??? We dont just make it up as we go along you know - there is aoften a theme/link - sometiems its footy????

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  145. As far as the aussies go FBH... a point against Germany would be more than a pleasing result.

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  146. I just thinkthe Aussies are fighters and wont give up - could be a culture shock for a few - mind you did ya read about the second keeper Jones - his son is v ill so he had to leave the WC

    Spit - get off Twitter :)
    Star - where are ya

    (I remember when I used to get Spit/Star mixed up)

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  147. Spit is Star isn't he FBH.. or is it the other way around.

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  148. fbh,

    as the wizard of Oz says, we are lovers not fighters. Or was it the zombie of Oz?


    Spit/Star mix-up: its a Narth-east fad. Robbo does it too..


    Evenin' blognauts.

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  149. There is no doubt the aussies are fighters FBH... it is a good thing that they play ze germans first up. I don't see them getting the three points but they are a chance at a draw.

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  150. Everyone is watching BB3 arent they?

    Crouch is doing fine as a host.

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  151. I'm not spit... I can't pick it up.

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  152. FBH, Jones' son has leukemia, not the best news to get when you are a couple of thousand miles from home.

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  153. Spit - I saw that the other day - Crouchy was good - he might be ugkly but he does ahve a face for radio - just showed the Rooney sending off due to Ronaldo - not a red and Ronaldo is still a disgrace!!!!

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  154. I hope Holland play Germany this year!!! How European!!!

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  155. Seeing that again, reminded me exactly when my hatred for Ronaldo skyrocketed.

    What a twat.

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  156. Maradonna second goal v engerland is over-rated

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  157. Ronaldo has always been a disgrace on the football pitch (not a lot better off of it)... a player with his skill has no need to collapse to the floor whenever anyone gets within two feet of him... and I agree, his behavior in getting rooney sent off was pretty bad

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  158. I disagree with ya both on that score... his second goal against england was brilliant and he was a great player to boot... a most irritating player but great just the same. pl

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  159. Bo,

    I know its not gonna happen, but I was thinking if Wenger were to sign Ballack, we might have a midfield hard man that we so desperately need. He's well cunning and all, good in air and dictates play like not many in trade today.

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  160. That Zidane, eh?

    There are some who are greater than the great game itself.

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  161. I wouldn't say no to him coming in Spit, he would give our midfield a bit of steel that's for sure... don't see it happening though. also talk of cole coming to the emirates... not sure about that either.

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  162. who's Maradonna?

    Ballack is a nasty t**t. Arsenal don't need his type. Ok, a tough tackling hard man but the nastiness and elbows and off the ball stuff and sliding down the oppos shins, never missing to follow through on an exposed ankle is not what Arsenal or football needs! Besides, if Wenger had him, he'd never be able to open his mouth about the opposition again!

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  163. He is one frenchman I would have liked to have seen at arsenal spit.

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  164. Ballack is a nasty t**t. Arsenal don't need his type. Ok, a tough tackling hard man but the nastiness and elbows and off the ball stuff and sliding down the oppos shins, never missing to follow through on an exposed ankle is not what Arsenal or football needs! Besides, if Wenger had him, he'd never be able to open his mouth about the opposition again!

    ___________________

    Evening Trott,

    Ballack adding some steel to the midfield and Wenger shutting up a bit.

    WIN, WIN.

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  165. haha, Wenger would have to wear a disguise on the bench!

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  166. Nice panel on iQ tonight.


    My attention will be henceforth be divided.

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  167. The English have won something I see... the worlds worst dressed holiday makers... followed by the germans and the US... I notice all are represented on the blog tonight... they must have missed the aussies otherwise I am sure they would have been right up there too.

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  168. who's the best dressed holidaymakers Bo?

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  169. the aussies may have gone Dutch.

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  170. Bo - my reasoning re the 2nd goal is like this - you know when you get the stuffing knokced out of ya - like when you ve just conceded a goal that shouldnt have been allowed - there are a few minutes when the team aint that good - and thats what happened in the 2nd goal - plus Terry Fenwick shit out

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  171. Spitfire said...
    Nice panel on iQ tonight.
    ------------

    Was that typo deliberate?

    Or is this delicious irony? >:D

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  172. Fair enough FBH.. I still disagree but your argument is reasonable.

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  173. Spit - whehter you meant QI or iQ - ive just turned over to QI - Cheers :)

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  174. Can't help ya there Trott... I only look at the negative side of life mate.

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  175. "Delicious irony" what a lovely phrase a bit like "splendid time"....

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  176. Eveining Trott - how are USA feeling about WC?

    THAT reminds me I once had Wendy Craigs dressing room - at least thats what it said on the door

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  177. did you have her dressing room in the biblical sense FBH... and if so how?

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  178. From the same site that brought you the ugly "The poll also found that despite copping a stereotypically surly stance when foreigners fail to speak French in France, more than 20 percent of French travellers refuse to make any attempt to speak the local language when they go abroad (whereas 93 percent of Britons try to use at least a few words of the local lingo)."

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  179. not sure what happened there... anyway the above is from the site which told of the worst dressed holiday maker.

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  180. Im off for a short whil e - unless I fall asleep in which case it will be a long while - sleep well and NOT LONG NOW!!!! COME ON ENGLAND AND COME ON FOOTY!!!!!

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  181. Trott... just for you... the world's best dressed tourists are the Italians and the french... the most obnoxious travellers.. the french have taken that mantle from the americans in recent times it appears... The british are considered the worst behaved tourists in europe but are amongst the best behaved according to the rest of the world.

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  182. This made me reminisce

    The Russian World Cup team of heroes.

    1. Rasputin, goalie, eccentric mystic who is catch ball in beard
    2. Peter the Great, right back, very industrious, tendency to hit ball into the sticks then build a city there
    3. Kruschev, left back, attack minded, rushing down wing like Cuban Missile
    4. Field Marshal Kutuzov, centre back, turned defence into attack in 1812
    5. Lieutenant General Chuikov, centre back, heroic defender, especially at Stalingrad
    6. Ivan the Terrible, midfield enforcer, he bites your ankles then fries you to death in a large pan in Red Square
    7. Dostoevsky, very creative right-winger, bit of a loner, but crosses better than Walcott
    8. Stalin, midfield general, captain, ruthless with enemy, cause more football deaths even than Chopper Harris
    9. Putin, centre forward, strong, powerful, look a bit like Alan Shearer
    10. Tchaikovsky, he play in the hole and come up behind front man
    11. Trotsky, left wing (too left wing for some) wizard, like Ryan Giggs, but with more clear grasp of dialectical materialism

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  183. RBA: We have deal! Big Oleg is say go any lapdance bar in Aldershot, say to bouncer on door secret code words - "You looking like a big nonce to me" - and hand over roubles. Cats delivered to same joint one week later. This time, go in and say secret words to barman "Hey sexy boy, I'd love a Babycham" and cats is hand over. They hidden in box marked "Whiskas Supermeat - in tests 8 out of ten owners is prefer eat cat to clean up it poo."

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  184. Blog, in crucial 1917 Reds v Whites tie, Lenin is pick up ball for Bolsheviks at Finland Station and is hit long cross-field balls to Trotsky. He is bring some midfield Menshaviks onside with great tactical awareness, and is complete one-two with Lenin. Lenin is nutmeg Kerensky and rest provisional government and path clear to Winter Palace. Though White Guards is hold up hands, Forces of Historical Materialism is wave “Play On”, and it 1-0 to Bolsheviks! Result is later revise to 10-0 following rule change at 1920 Party Congress.

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  185. sorry FBH, missed you there, we nipped out for some grub. H2 asked me that yesterday and it picked up today, the local talk show station is the FAN, broadcasts from Philadelphia area to Boston but based in New York, 24 hour sports talk and phone-ins. Thay actually had a 20 minute spot on the World Cup today with a Sports Illustrated reporter calling in from Joburg.

    ESPN is showing all the games and giving it some coverage but not much on the mainstream network channels.

    The best coverage will be on Robbo's blog! and locally from The Geordie's blog.

    Bo, that bit about the good and the bad British tourists, it might be because there's two different groups. One that stays in Europe and one that goes farther afield, just a thought!

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  186. fbh, mate,

    stop living in the past.

    Konnolsky was kicked out of the BBC. HTey dont deserve humour.

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  187. blogdignag said...
    Jacks - Jabulani means “rejoice” in Zulu. the ball was designed by a guy using kicking robots at Loughborough University. He's quoted in The Star as saying "with our "grab and grip" technology ,outfield players won't have a problem hitting the target, as long as they wait until they can see the whites of their eyes"

    ________________________________________________

    Designed for robots. Sheeyite the Germans are going to love it.

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