Monday, 28 June 2010

They're Coming Home, They're Coming Home!

Dunno about you lot but I’ve not seen too much of the following: anger, despair, dismay. Mostly it’s been a mixture of bewilderment and resignation. Most of us knew we weren’t good enough after the first game. The rest of us knew it after the second, bar the silly numpties who though 1-0 v Slovenia was somehow a turning point.

I also had the solace of an evening chain-smoking and catching up on my lost beer. And any road, relax. We’ll have some proper footy to watch for a couple of weeks.
The post mortem has started in earnest. Fact is, this corpse has been long dead. Let’s line up the guilty parties who have been firing arrows into the English cadaver.

1. Fabio Capello. 6 million quid a year and he’s made Jonathan Ross look like good value. There’s no doubt he’s been stubborn and regimented in a way that the average English superstar doesn’t need. Heskey for Defoe at the end will be as resonant a death knell as Graham Taylor’s Alan Smith for Lineker in ’92. He never took the Gerrard/Lampard decision but stuck ‘em both in in the wrong positions. He was a relief after the boot-licking brolly-holder but it’s clear that the utter tools at his disposal weren’t up to it.

2. The FA. Enough with the kowtowing and cringing as they roll out their begging blankets to the good and great of European football. Time for some economy and humility. Sack Fabio and get someone weird in (but not Hoddle). Becks? We’d still be shit but it’d be one for the ladies.

3. John Terry – caught out of position all game long and all season long when he;s been off the pitch. I’ve heard it said he was playing out of position in the back four but given he and Upson played together for a lot of the qualifiers that’s so much twenty-twenty vision slurry.

4. The referee/linesman. This is what the pig-ignorant people who are pulling the wool over heir eyes are saying this morning. If Lamps’s goal had been given we’d have gone in 2-2 and the whole picture would’ve changed. We wouldn’t have been pushing for the equaliser and the breakaway goals wouldn’t have happened. Bollocks. Anyone who thinks that the Germans wouldn’t have continue to flit gaily through the English defence like Hansel and Gretel on a toddle through the Black Forest is in the land where Reason eats canteloupes and rides on the back a four-winged goose singing ‘Shaddap Ya Face’ (that’s the brandy kicking in). Which is NOT to say that it’s not a fucking scandal.

5. The press. They build us up so they can knock us down. Maybe. And just maybe we all delude ourselves that our footballers are really good when they are quite good to downright cack. Certainly someone has been lying about Wayne R, cos if he’s 100% fit then I’m Fatima Whitbread’s waxer (I’m not, by the way).
Am I the only one who thought Wayne carried all the lightness and grace of Chrissy ‘Christ you’ve gone to seed’ Waddle? Our reporters have talked up this golden generation but that there’s Fools Gold! I had no expectation after Slovenia and yet the red-tops talked it up like the Germans were quaking in their boots and our team of Godfrey, Wilson and Jones were going to shake off the Dad’s Army tag. Twats.

6. Landon Donovan. That last minute frigging goal deprived us of a cushy game against Ghana, then Uruguay. Shit, we’d be in the semis by now. Anyone think Ghana wouldn’t have beaten us? Seriously? It’d be harder to beat a carpet.

7. Germany. Well they’re a good thing to blame cos they were 400 times better than us. As they were in 2006 with another ‘average’ team. Hansen, Shearer and Dixon were right bullish before the match about England’s superiority but I thought, well in what sphere are you operating when you can say that Schweinsteiger, Ozil, Klose, even the lad Muller, wouldn’t waltz into the England XI. And we accuse the Germans of arrogance.

8. And this is the real answer. English footballers are dense. This is the crux, right? So what if Gerrard plays wide left. SO what if Lampard tries playing deeper. So what if it’s 4-4-2 when 4-4-1-1 looks better. Intelligent players could adapt.
The players England have available are quite simply a product of the system in which they grew up. And that system hasn’t changed since 1966. Forget the blip of 1990. (England played well in one game of that tournament and that was the one they lost). There are 900 pro footy coaches in this country. There are 17,000 in Germany.
By and large English schoolkids get the same dumb-ass, brain-dead instruction from the age of 9. Emphasis is still placed on hoofing it long. They play on full size pitches where the big hoof reaps dividends (Miroslav Klose will explain how it works).
You learn from the womb whether you’re a midfielder or a centre-half and chances are that’ll never change. And woe betide you if you’re titchy like that midget Messi, or you bring the ball out from the back like you’re a fucking Brazilian, or you try a Ronaldo lollipop when your mates are expecting you to kick it in to the car-park and get rid.
For too many years we’ve been gasping like my missus during a Clooney movie at the technical genius of them foreign types. It’s not genius. It’s just that they learn how to use the ball properly. Every other nation left in this competition treat the ball as a friend. Our boys treat it like piss-soaked bus shelter in need of a good kicking.

In other words, WE ARE A BIT CRAP.


Now let’s enjoy some proper football and not tarnish our minds with giving the overpaid chumps a second thought. I love you, beer. Let’s never fall out again!

529 comments:

  1. whooo! now that ive got my 15 mins of fame..id like to say..i totaly agree with you, just been on the loo having a poo and thinking about things mostly the game and i have to say i came up with the same stuff u just posted..

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  2. Hoover beats as it sweeps as it cleans! Bring back Edgar J. I don't know what else to say.Excellent blog!

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  3. ..and to say were crap is an understatement..were a nation where we love football but play it like were all pissed. with out the foreign players in the prem it would be one shite league. time to start training youngsters from the age of nine in footy camps and working on touch and technique.

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  4. At least I made the podium and that's a first.

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  5. arrgh im so pissed off when i think about todays game i feel like spittin on each player when they get back in this country, community service for all of em i say

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  6. oh yhe robbo i wanted to ask you, who is Andy Smart?

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  7. oh you have to read the 'experts views' on the beeb site. god give me strength.

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  8. Must have been writing mine around the same time as Robbo...

    http://matureishstudent.blogspot.com/2010/06/is-party-over.html


    (All down to Preach's nice comments, thanks Preach)

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  9. Thank you Robbo!!

    Finally after another England capitulation we can listen to some sense insetad of the usual whining.

    Here's the crux of your problem...

    Gareth Barry was sold for over 20 million quid!

    Gareth fucking Barry!!

    He's so bad I'm thinking of doing my parents in for giving me the same name.

    How many clubs not in England would pay over 20 million for Barry or Lescott? NONE!!

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  10. apparently if their english they are worth more gaz..dunno why tho..i really fuckin dont.

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  11. awesome blog robbo. right in the kisser: no matter the woes and whining and bitching there is no proper system that would not just notice but create talent. you might have forgotten to remark on rooney...oh wait...he wasn't even there to speak of...
    @My-back-pocket "oh you have to read the 'experts views' on the beeb site. god give me strength"
    - precisely sir. tired of those doods' bullshit. just read robbo, it'll all be good :)

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  12. and don't you ever try to fall out with beer again. it gives us riboflavins and is good for the bones

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  13. ive just been trawling the net reading reports on the game and what the papers had to say..and i cant help but think alot of this is the media's fault...dara o'brien on Mock the Week summed it up perfectly, England is like a kid on xfactor and the parents keep tellin em your good you'll do well and when they get kicked off they tell em their shite. yday it was all 'bring on the spirit of 66' well today that ghost has been laid to rest hopefully forever and ever.

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  14. facebook is oddly quiet tonight....

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  15. Robbo.....don't you think the difference is simply that the Germans (like most teams at the WC) played for each other and the sole target of "in the interest of the Nation" while the England didn't? That and the fact that England had a manager who plumped for age and experience over youth and flair. Where were Young, Dawson and Agbonlahor?

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  16. hohoho, highly, yet somewhat tragically, chucklesome Robbo. I reckon we're dead certs for 2014, on Brazilian soil no less!

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  17. I am upset as hell... I loved your piece though... A lot... Will start following your tweets from now on.

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  18. England played out of their skins put on show the best they had to offer and displayed all the grit and steel needed to win a game of football convincingly.... against my son's U11s (C) side.

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  19. In fact, my son (the U11 C's keeper) was a lot happier after having watched England's performance because he now realises a keeper is only as good as the defence in front of him and if you have shit in front of you, you'll look shit, even if you're the best player on the park.

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  20. The sad thing is Germany were average and all the things said about them not being a great side are true. Two teams have made Germany look good and both of them had managers who couldn't figure out what to do with the shit as his disposal.

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  21. England are 'A BIT CRAP'?

    Now, where's your sense of scale?

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  22. I think the 'bit' is actually a german reference Spit as in bit = scrap i.e. England are crap scrap but my german probably is not as good as yours.

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  23. This is the view the ref had of Lampards 'goal' so everything's OK.

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  24. Defender John Terry also insisted the scoreline was an unfair reflection on England's performance. "I can't explain why we didn't start as well as we'd like."

    JTs right it should have been 8 - 2 the explanation being you're shit!

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  25. They have been dog shit of the very highest order for a long time now. Thankfully, the Germans put them down yesterday and maybe now these clowns can be dropped for ever..and we put together an under 21 team..and guide them into world football..like the Germans did. To say England were poor is like saying Pol Pot quite liked countryside pursuits!
    Anyhow..The FA are rubbish in England..we all know that..and things won't change because basically The FA, The overpaid & talentless players, the whole culture of WAGS and celebrity footballers..breeds just one thing: arrogance and they all think they are better than they really are. Football is a simple game....but these people running it in our country and the pedestal they put themselves and these players on, are simpletons.

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  26. The 'Anti-Wembley Goal'

    Thats what they are calling it.

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  27. Ah well, at least my FFL team are showing some balls and giving it a go now ... they've clawed their way up to 14th now.

    I fear though I'll run out of transfers soon and therefore steam ... my fault for picking a starting team I though would be great but turned out to be shite.

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  28. Morning all.

    Well, here we go again. Same old England.

    Let's bring Heskey on when we need a goal. Great idea Fabio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  29. Hi Robbo.

    Nice lil read there.

    just one critism.......

    " WE ARE A BIT CRAP. "


    are you holding back? or just being kind.

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  30. I think several things contributed to our defeat.

    The goal that was ruled out did make a massive difference as going in at 2-2 would have galvanised England rather than deflated them and teh 2dn half would have been a lot different.

    WE WERE RUBBISH

    Heskey, Johnson & Upson should never be seen again in an England shirt and more work needs to be done along the Spanish & German models to bring through quality young players through. The Centre of Excellence should be re-opened and based at Burton as it was a valuable way of getting the countries best young talent together and teaching them to play together.

    Also some of Capello's selections were odd we struggle for goals but leave Darren Bent at home who was the Premier Leagues 3rd highest scorer. Our right back is suspect so we leave Gary Neville at home who has been solid for Man Utd this season

    If we are going to have any chanec for the Euro's Capello needs to recall either Neville or Brown, Bent & Hargreaves

    I think we were lucky to lose 4-1 the way we played in the 2nd half though

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  31. as for the vacant managers job.

    the latest news that the Torys are curbing immigration from outside the EU to 24,000 should give the fa chance to find someone decent.

    and can anyone explain that candidates wishing to stay and work here have to have more than a casual abilty or interest in both speaking and understanding the launguage this being the case,

    How the feck did Cappello get permission to be here in the 1st place.

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  32. oh by the way.

    To cameron and clegg.

    whilst most of us here in the " real " world have been screaming for technology for ages we do not need or require your input.

    Stick to what you both know best which is of course Naff All and Carry On Making An Even Bigger Balls Up of the country.

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  33. Sorry Adam, but we have to look forwards and not back with the team so I can't see Neville wearing the shirt again.

    Ditch the old has beens and bring some of the U21's up and into the squad and for the love of all that's holy give Hart the #1 shirt.

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  34. well, i thought we played alright, we might be out but well done to the mighty lions for trying there darn hardest. all these people who are giving them a hard time need to leave off and stop hating your country, its not there fauly germany cheated... Well sone to all of them....





    I jokes of course, i honestly think, and i am not joking, if you were to put an england team out consisting entirely of championship and league 1/2 players thye would do better. and it would be nice to see someone in an england shirt play with some pride for once... i hate them all so very much,

    As for Cap, well every decent team we have played under his leadership we have been beaten... every single one, add that to heskey for defoe you have your answer...

    what a bunch of cnuts..

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  35. Star mate i agree, i think bring on the new generation and get rid of the old lot... also put perce in charge, he has done great with the U21s... they still got mauled by germany (mainly the team that just mauled us) but at least it was in a final... we need a change.

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  36. spot on robbo - top blog as always.

    youre right no one i know is angry. my son had to write a homework piece on any wc game and of course chose the england game. this is how his homework ends (halff way through the second half) :

    "my dad switched the telly off and we all laughed"

    and youre right again - my pet topic actually - the chavs we entrust our sporting pride and national dignity are as thick as shit.

    its the stuff of high comedy actually - rooney is a big 2 year old - when is he going to throw a tantrum this game?

    the stats show gerrard took 3 games before he understood the simple instruction "you are playing on the left side of mid-field"

    terrys brains are all in his bollocks - thats what that mutant middle testicle is

    milner (Mr Grimsdale! Mr Grimsdale!) belongs in a b+w slapstick sketch (28 million? dont be fucking ridiculous!)

    and they're the clever ones. but until we make these fuckers learn how to read so their brain becomes sufficiently large to tie their shoe laces (thus obviating the need for velcro flaps) and follow simple instructions we're doomed to a permanent state of the crest-fallenness.

    the wheels finally came off appointing a manager who speaks even worse english than the dimwit players ....typically english tragi-comic failure. we cant even do failure properly (see france, Italy)

    i need a new sport

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  37. rba - i think they'll keep cap to wield the hatchet and mould the next generation of brainless overpaid numpties. im sick of this lot of charmless nerks. walcott must be glad he wasnt selected

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  38. Morning guys!! Good eve blog!! On the plus side, do you realise that one of Spain and Portugal is packing their bags before tomorrow is down as well?

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  39. Walcot must be squirting chocky milk out of his nose with laughter at not being picked... i feel robbed, i really do. When you see so many "rubbish" nations go out fighting it really makes you sick to see us just limp to failure... they should all be shot in the ankles so they can never embarass football again in such a way.

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  40. Heskey, Johnson & Upson should never be seen again in an England shirt
    =============================

    Adam, add Terry, Gerrard, Lampard, Owen, Beckham, GNev, Cole (both), Wright-Phillips (and a couple of others whose name escapes me at this time) and you are getting close... time for a proper clean-out of the pyrite generation and begin team building.

    G'day all

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  41. easy bo...

    i honestly think that england need to start with a clean team sheet, clearly the BIG players have no desire to represent thier country. So lets get honest hardworking players who will... i'd rather go out fighting than dying quietly.

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  42. agreed, rba. i was resigned yesterday today the bitterness is setting in. lets skip the next few world cups. let capello visit every kindergarten in the country in a search for muscly kids with brains, take them into custody and nurture them for the good of the country. he'd be like Herod in reverse

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  43. And yet Bo I think that GNev, Becks and Owen would have played far better than Milner, Johnson and Defoe. Cashley wasn't that bad and he wasn't helped by Upson straying all over the place either. Need to drop Lampard put Gerrard in the middle with Hargreaves and Adam Johnson on the left (right midfield is stilla problem with an aging Beckham still being better than the other contenders)

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  44. Exactly blogs, i think that all the "regulars" of the england side should be told, "you had your chance, you fucked it up, so you can't play anymore" I imagine none of them would be too non-plus about it either... i think we need to concentrate firmly on the u-19 and u-21s and more importantly do what we do at other sports and exploit the fact we used to own the world... think of the players we COULD have! We learned nothing from the african nation that won france the WC in 98...

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  45. Becks might be knackered and can't play 90 minutes any more, but he at least has shown some passion when he's in an England shirt ... I mean, look at what lengths he willingly went through to keep himself fit enough to be considered by Capello until he snapped his Achilles.

    I'd rather have had him on the pitch than the bollocks that was out.

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  46. lamps and gerard need to go, they they have both been woeful, yesteday gereard especially was a joke, at least lamps scored and hit the wood work... all Stevey me did was get the ball and have pathetic shots from stoopid range... drop both the feckers... i 100% think anthony charles would have been much better than both (ATFC midfielder).

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  47. Fuck me ... Alan Green has said something sensible ...

    "I hope the players are embarrassed and slink away in misery. And in economy class. But I fear they'll just jet off to Barbados, and it will all be a vague memory to them in a few weeks - unless the English public remind them. They should be booed onto the pitch at the friendly against Hungary in August."

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  48. star re; Becks...


    Yes mate, he is no where near good enough anymore, but he plays with passion for his country so i would have rahter have him than, well, any other midfield players who were there...

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  49. gerrard epitomised the gormless selfishness of the "team".

    we've got to learn from this i agree. we need to look at the bundesliga, the continental coaching systems and the way we coach or dont coach schoolkids.

    we can learn from mossad (if they can kidnap Mordechai Vanunu, why cant we kidnap the next emergent ronaldo? throw in a viewing of the ipcress files and he'll be ours for life)

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  50. independent:

    Capello said nothing to the players in the dressing room last night, where he was said to be angry about the manner of the defeat. It is also understood that he said little at half-time.

    why not????

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  51. Even Neuer joked after the game that "I knew it was tight – about two metres."

    quite a good joke, you swine!

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  52. I'm actually relieved. Fuck getting Ghana, Uruguay would have beaten us and that little bit of hope would have lingered for longer. I think Capello did as well as can be expected with what he had, but one niggling thing in my mind is Adam Johnson not going and SWP being there.

    Anyway, let's enjoy the Germany - Argentina game, should be a good'un.

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  53. Konnolskys offering in the Independent ;

    Hello! Here in my Smolensk butcher’s shop, assistant Yuri and me feel plenty commiserating to English football fans friends, and share your pain by make England Pie, filled with UK delicacies of Marmite and Pot Noodle.

    But there is plenty conspiracy theorising in Russian press. Volga News speculate David Cameron and Nick Clegg have huge angers at sight England team kit out in “socialist” red. Newspaper notice Uruguay referee and assistants wear strip of blue with yellow trim and they reduce Red England goal budget by half. Smolensk Daily Post take different view. Paper suggest that Labour Party desperate not to see Cameron get lift from England World Cup win and employ Derren Brown to hypnotise Wayne Rooney so he allergic to 18 yard box. But this is silly theory, as last thing Labour Party need is one more defeat for a team in red. In any case Smolensk Star find memo in which Labour officials say sabotage not necessary as England players quite able make mess of World Cup dream themselves. And Lib/Con coalition off hook too. Policy document “Why Defeat Is Victory” (largely written by Nick Clegg) seek maximise benefit of Andy Murray’s likely semi-final exit at Wimbledon. It not mention England World Cup games at all (except as short footnote which say “Very low priority”).

    So, no there probably not any grand conspiracy. It probably down to team and manager and absence of goal –line technology. Although we hear today in Volga Times that Sepp Blather has made major concession to those who advocate use of latest techniques. FIFA will pay for the Uruguayan officials to get eye tests and new spectacles.

    UK press very quick to share it wisdom on condition of England team. We see in Sun Newspaper – which I recommend to friend Sasha as easy way to learn English and so far he able say “Phwoar” and “Be lucky” – that genius football correspondents say it time for England team be manage by English manager. But I am wondering. This seem ignore lesson of great and selfless British football institution the Premiership, as well as globalising logic of late capitalism. Problem for England solved not by get rid of foreign manager, but follow example of top Premiership clubs and give more foreign players chance to wear 3 lions. Imagine strength of England team built around Messi, Buffon, Torres and Lucio. And if this cause problem of National Anthem, then newly globalised “Team England” should all be able to learn hum Sky Sports News theme tune, which provide built in subliminal message for likely team sponsors.

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  54. Seconded Blogs ... let's face it, if he can turn Zamora into a half decent striker and lead Fulham to the Europa final he'd have a chance with the England team.

    Mind, I'd like to see him rebuild rather than bollocks about with the old crowd even if it does take us a while to get back on terms with Spain, Germany et al.

    Rebuilding isn't going to get done overnight so whoever gets the task has to be given the time to do so. Basically the media needs to back off.

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  55. Because he is an over-rated nerk, who flattered to decieve by winning perhaps the easiest qualifying group in world cup history, who against every decent opposition has failed hugely, and has shown an equal measure of tactical ineptness and cowardiss in important matches against real opposition, because he does not really care in his heart how england do, because his entire managerial ethos is a sulky front with no sunstance... if i were him i would be quiet too...

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  56. RBA - I think youre going through the football form of the phases of mourning – SARA - Shock, anger, resentment, acceptance

    for the england fan its: Resignation, Bitterness, Anger


    tomorrow : fury
    the day after : Biblical scale existential Wrath
    Thursday : forgotten about it

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  57. Roy Hodgson as manager please. Anyone who can get the Swiss to the World Cup when he did deserves a shot. Needs to be someone English - quick get Becks his coaching badges.

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  58. oh and if you ae all fed up with footie there is always the Tennis

    http://adampsb.blogspot.com/2010/06/yawn-tennis.html

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  59. England team were total shite - not sure if they were relieving the boredom by having a bet amongst themselves as to who could play the worst..

    Trotts, thank you I think, for remembering I am a girl. Although two points, first, no I do not have transexual partner - and two, the pub is the 'ex' bit, not my husband (unless you know something I don't!)

    Sorry to see STILL no pics of Jose - I will continue to read this, in the hope that Robbo will decide to pander towards his female audience. (That and his blog and comments are very funny)

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  60. On a plus side though, i had a wasps nest on my balcony, the little feckers made hom in an air vent... well i killed the lot of them and didn't get stung once, one of the most satisfying experiences of my life...

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  61. Forgot about what blog?

    I'm off to watch some shite on the telly... type to y'all later.

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  62. Let the rebuilding process begin.

    Get rid of Carragher, Upson, Terry, G Johnson, Wright-Phillips, Barry, Lennon & Heskey.

    Bring in Tompkins, Smalling, Richards, Gibbs, Rodwell, Noble, Wilshere, and Welbeck. Give these youngsters 2 years of International football so they are ready for the Euros in 2012!!

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  63. Sadly I fear come August (or whenever) and "the best league in the world" resumes all of this will largely be forgotten.

    "What did you do in the World cup, daddy?"
    "We beat Slovenia 1-0"

    "Where's Slovenia?"
    "Em, I'm not that good at algebra, ask your mum, which one is she?"

    "What happened next?"
    "Get to bed son, footie practice tomorrow. Remember what I taught you, if you get the ball, hoof it up field as far as possible"

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  64. Monday's shameless self promotion

    So how have the British papers handled the whole thing this morning?

    Have the Sun done another fantastic front page like the EASY one they did when the group was drawn.

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  65. WTF!!

    Lord Dave has interrupted his speech at the G8 to call for video technology.

    He did start by saying he was a big cricket and tennis fan though. Now there's something that surprised us all!

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  66. Here we go ...those conniving cunts are already trying to sweep the latest technology debate under a carpet.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/world_cup_2010/8766423.stm

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  67. Robbo - you used a word that literally makes me shudder "Cadaver" urrrggghhh - even typing it -

    England - ha - nuf said - sheeite - embarassing - only Jacks predicted a 4 0 defeat in a chat we had on Satda night.

    ANd now the tories want to reduce incapacity benefit - oi twats the Engalnd players arent on IB - so you missed your target there

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  68. p.s. gr8 blog mate - how do you manage to write when yr pissed - you may have noticed my dire efforts

    now we can all enjoy footy without the delusion that England are good

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  69. Hi Ngig - not too bad today mate - have been worse - missed most of the Argie game as come home gutted and fell asleep!!! Hows you?

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  70. No too bad mate.

    Stayed at home and watched the game as I didnt feel too confident about it. Only had a few pints so feel fine, well apart from the utter disgust I feel towards a number of English footballers!!!!

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  71. Utter disgust!!! yep good expression!!!!

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  72. BLUEHELLSBELLS said...
    England team were total shite - not sure if they were relieving the boredom by having a bet amongst themselves as to who could play the worst..

    Trotts, thank you I think, for remembering I am a girl. Although two points, first, no I do not have transexual partner - and two, the pub is the 'ex' bit, not my husband (unless you know something I don't!)

    Sorry to see STILL no pics of Jose - I will continue to read this, in the hope that Robbo will decide to pander towards his female audience. (That and his blog and comments are very funny)

    ------------------

    Robbo - how about a compromise here to keep all the punters happy - mourinho's head photoshopped onto a large breasted naked stripper's body? you know like window licker by aphex twin?

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  73. BojanglesOfOz said...
    Forgot about what blog?

    I'm off to watch some shite on the telly

    ----------

    youve got the match taped? and youre watching it again? madness

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  74. rba - thats a good omen - i just read that in albania being stung by a wasp is superstitously believed to indicate that youre in danger of having just been stung by a wasp.

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  75. i know i talk bollocks. i seem to get away with it on here.

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  76. Bloggy - a lot of people (obviously I'm not one of them) think Mourhino is a big tit so let's just have a two pics of him.

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  77. I'll be honest with youse, I don't think giving that goal would have made a difference. True you started to get back into the game but it was like a 5 minute spell where Germany had a lull, and lets face it they weren't great pieces of play. The first was a standard cross into the box and the other came about after the ball bounced off a few players and fell nicely to Lampard.

    Germany had shape, guile and purpose. England had nothing. And lets be honest if England had went on to win that game it would've been a much greater injustice than the disallowed goal.

    I personally don't know what youse are gonna do cuz I doubt many players really want to play for England. And who would blame them?

    ReplyDelete
  78. mornin Lads (and lass), how's the tennis?

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  79. RBA are you telling us than when you're with a naked woman you are imagining Jose's head on her shoulders?

    I think you are.

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  80. BREAKING NEWS...

    Well it's not really but it sort of is.

    SkyNews are about to cover Fabio's press conference and there is are a few subtle signs that they are suggesting everything was his fault and there was disquiet in the camp.

    They said JT pointed it out!

    FUCK FUCK FUCK!!

    Please don't tell me there's going to be a Fabio witchunt where the players were unhappy because of him and the great hero JT (who should have been captain) was trying to come to the rescue but Fabio wouldn't let him.

    SERIOUSLY IF THAT CUNT TERRY COMES OUT OF THIS LOOKING ANYTHING OTHER THAN THE UTTER PIECE OF SHIT HE IS I WILL EXPLODE

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  81. Gaz, I think it was blogdigy who said that not RBA.

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  82. There's going to be a difficult question for the players later today, most of them probably won't know how to answer it....


    "Window seat or aisle sir?"

    ReplyDelete
  83. Ooops. Well obviously Bloggy fantasises about mens heads on womens bodies.

    Sorry, that's something we all knew.

    Disregard.

    I'm sure RBA does it too though.

    ReplyDelete
  84. FA are taking 2 weeks to decide on Fabio's future but he wants to stay on.

    Maybe they want to speak to JT first.

    I can see the usual debacle unfolding nicely.

    My money's on a Hoddle/Keegan partnership before the end of the month.

    They'll probably hold seances to channel Sir Bobby's input too.

    ReplyDelete
  85. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Some FA moron says "It's important that we show a common sense approach"


    Yes, you are well known for that!

    ReplyDelete
  86. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    This is getting funnier by the second.

    Idiot reporter; "Is there something more systematic wrong with English football"

    Correct answer; "Yes. Your players are shit."

    ReplyDelete
  87. So it was all down to the ghost goal and tiredness.

    A winter break will sort it all out.

    Ahhh, bless.

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  88. The reporters here are all trying desperately to hide their undercurrent thinking of "It's all your fault you fucking Italian cunt"

    It's not really working for them.

    Poor bastards have to go home early from SA too.

    ReplyDelete
  89. FA moron; "It's important to remember that we hired Fabio at a time when the nation was on the floor"


    Indeed. Because you appointed a brolly carrying faux Dutchman.

    ReplyDelete
  90. why is every one so down on Mclaren just cos he carried a brolly? It never did the Penguin any harm?

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  91. So there's Emile and Cashley getting off the plane laughing their tits off.

    Proof as if it was needed that they are fucking morons.

    Jesus how difficult would it have been for someone to tell them that when they get off the plane there will be cameras so at least try to look sad.

    But then the fact that they don't know this themselves and that they aren't sad and disgraced probably says it all about English football.

    ReplyDelete
  92. RBA, why did you kill the wasps? They would have provided a world cup atmosphere to the upcoming season.

    ReplyDelete
  93. They were tired of playing with FBH's arse?

    Wow, the plot thickens.

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  94. The players were too tired .... They had a MONTH between the end of the league and rocking up to the WC.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Why did the chicken cross the road?


    According to FIFA it didn’t

    ReplyDelete
  96. Disappointed England fan on radio: 'let's get back to what won us the war'.


    Agreed. Next World Cup let's team up with 50 other countries.

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  97. "Could have...would have...should have" unfortunately doesn't cut it in football or life for that matter!

    The better team won at the end of the day so let's put that goaline fiasco to bed! It would be a huge mistake 2 sack capello now. Let him rebuild the team with this world cup serving as a lesson or marker! If he can't do it i wonder who will (and please don't say Mourinho)

    I think we can all agree that based on all the evidence we've seen so far, England didn't have a chance. so why all the calamity!? Pick yourself up lads. Let's win the euro cup 1st b4 talking about the world cup!!!

    ReplyDelete
  98. Good good stuff, it's a good time to support Germany even if none of my friends seemed to find it acceptable for me to celebrate the German goals. Here's hoping Messi's almost-but-not-quite-goal glut continues even though he will rip our back line apart like so much crepe paper.

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  99. http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/06/england.html

    what really happened...

    ReplyDelete
  100. Do you know if you put a spud in the bread bin, it stops bread going mouldy?

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  101. Thats powerful imagery there haha!!

    ReplyDelete
  102. Does a packet of Smash do the same thing RBA?

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  103. I agree with Tosin, we have to keep Capello, on the other hand I want an English manager for the English team. Can he please find an English Grandma on his pedigree and change his nationality?

    He has a lot to build on. The corners we won against Algeria should prove to be a solid foundation for the inevitable future glories.

    ReplyDelete
  104. Dont be blue, hellsbells, it could be worse, you could be an italian or france supporter. Ironic they both play in blue...........

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  105. Ngog - thanks for cheering me up. Plus the Italian and French teams have an awful lot of foreign players in their line ups ....

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  106. Bell, again i am being mistaken for someon else, it were rod who mentioned potatoes... I think smash should work though, sprinkle it libealy over your bread to ensure fresh powder bread for up to a year!

    http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/06/england.html

    ReplyDelete
  107. BHB - re: your mourinho obsession - what is this a football manager soft porn site?

    what will you be demanding next? vintage football manager soft porn with bill shankly's left trouser rolled up to his knob - bly knee and bob stokoe erotically stripping off his mismatched raincoat and trilby?

    and then it spirals out of control, doesnt it. roy hodgson and kenny dalgleish. naked. in a soapy bath. roy keane...... and his dog!

    sheesh. todays women. worse than the blokes. perverted, i call it.

    ReplyDelete
  108. rba - iv never understood why you hate roger federer so mch

    ReplyDelete
  109. Blogy, those are not pleasant thoughts and are not things any man should ever have the imagination to put into words.........
    Delete the post or people will start throwing up!

    On another note, your welcome hells.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Suppose for the same reason you became a barber and moved to holland to open a pub whilst at journalism college?

    ReplyDelete
  111. Federer is smarmy wee get!! Hes the most fake person I've ever seen on TV.

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  112. Bloggy - I will never mention Mourhino again if you promise to stop creating truly horrid images of other managers. Deal?

    ReplyDelete
  113. Rod, more fake than Jordan?

    What about more fake than Jodie Marsh?

    They are both pretty fake.

    ReplyDelete
  114. WOULD I MAKE ANY MONEY IF I SET UP A FOOTBALL MANGER NICHE PORN SITE? oops caps lock

    ReplyDelete
  115. Yeah, at least they go on like stupid bitches.

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  116. BHB - deal

    one last one - rafa, in stocking suspenders and crotchless panties twonking and teabagging fabio capello, dressed as mussolini

    ReplyDelete
  117. Also RBA - why are you such a fun of PSB and Gary Neville

    and the answer to YOUR QUESTION BLOGGY is NO

    ReplyDelete
  118. That was no to making money on porn site not no to the deal

    ReplyDelete
  119. Bloggy, that one just made me laugh out loud.

    Rodders, do you agree Federer is the greatest ever player?

    RBA, stop supporting Chelsea.

    Hells, whats wrong with GNev?

    ReplyDelete
  120. Hit the nail on the head Robbo, fucking shocking tournament. I honestly don't see a light at the end of the tunnel for quite some time.

    ReplyDelete
  121. ello, ngog

    we're all little cartoon people on here arent we?

    ReplyDelete
  122. robbo, while england fail to produce at tournament after tournament, you, son, are always on form. brilliant blog as always. those last couple lines are legendary

    ReplyDelete
  123. Blog you would if you did it like this

    Female referee in soup over posing nude November

    http://driverrob.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/referee.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  124. wes - there is light t the end of the tunnel, but not with an inflexible manager who tinks we played well an speaks less english than i speak italian

    BASTA PASTA VOLIO VINO!

    ReplyDelete
  125. We aint on the telly though Bloggy!
    Unlike the LEGEND that is Federer, eh matey?

    ReplyDelete
  126. as a chelsea supporting psb fan with an unhealthy gary neville obesesion i find these questions too personal... leave me alone, i am trying to travel around the sub-continent as i just got fired by the BBC as a firefighter in Australia, ngog more questions please, i am a ginger prince and shouldn't be treated this way!

    COME ON YOU MILLERS

    ReplyDelete
  127. I think Gaz is the authority on what's wrong with GNev

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  128. Much more appealing image there adam, well played sir.

    ReplyDelete
  129. Gaz has a even more unhealthy obsession with GNev than RBA does with PSB.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Average age of the Dutch team = 28yrs.
    Mental age of the English team = 4yrs.

    ReplyDelete
  131. 'ello Ladies,

    for all those Capello fans out there, have a look ...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bh561MU37gE

    ReplyDelete
  132. Alright Ngog need for that lad... hows your job as chief sports writer at the beeb going any way?




    Sorry that was below the belt...



    http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/06/england.html

    ReplyDelete
  133. ngog watching federer is like watching a monkey, coached by carlo ancelotti, fucking a football

    ReplyDelete
  134. We have a slightly used manager over here name of Bradley that couldn't do much worse than Capello. And he speaks English...well, sort of. Any offers?

    And what a great save just now.

    ReplyDelete
  135. I think Sampras sis the best player ever purely because he was a more rounded player - Federer has a shit backhand where Sampras was awesome in every way.

    ReplyDelete
  136. LHS im enjoyin this match chances at both ends

    GO HOLLAND!

    ReplyDelete
  137. I love the way youse all thought Capello was a genius 2 weeks ago and now hes a waste of space.

    ReplyDelete
  138. That good Bloggy? Wow!

    RBA, Jobs going fine mate! They got rid of everyone decent and kept me!!

    ReplyDelete
  139. sampras is a bigger cunt than federer. if you dont blieve me, look at him on a cycling holiday with his missus

    http://farm1.static.flickr.com/195/516446374_5b297c3792_b.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  140. ngog - its even bettr than that, theyve just set up a goal in the centre cicrcle now theres chances at both ends and chances in the middle, ive never seen nuffink like it guvn'r

    ReplyDelete
  141. Haha, I think hes more a pussy there Ngog

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  142. your not wrong blogs... they have now just strapped tiny goals to everyones feet, everytime some has a touch its a goal... THIS IS MADNESS!

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  143. I heard every blade of grass was going to made into a goal

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  144. unbelievable now van der persil is washing his shirt on the pitch and roger von shitsticker has KICKED THE GOAL INTO THE BALL AND NOW A MONKEY IS TRYING TO FUCK THE REF 2-O well ive never seen ANYTHING like that before!

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  145. this is true rod, but sepp blatter has just said all goals are meaningless in this match and he has realeased the golden snitch! This things going power ball!

    ReplyDelete
  146. the slovakians arent so good since they lost the checkos

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  147. Dirk Kunt has just set up Wesley Sniper to meg ryan the slovak defender, another got booked for telling the ref he is a wanker. All good entertainment.

    Anyone want a roundtrees random?

    ReplyDelete
  148. weird thing about germany is that they are actually worse since east and west reunited in 1989. it must have been fear of communism which made them play to win to prove that er marx was wrong.

    its down to argentina now to disprove fichte's theory that the triumph of the German world was the supreme and necessary end of the development of Being. or was that hegel?

    ReplyDelete
  149. guys i just read that england won yesterday, it turns out we just got our shirts mixed up with the germans... along with our faces and ability to be shyte at football... i cant belive fritz is saying the ball crossed the line... typical cheating hun!

    ReplyDelete
  150. Sorry Rowntree Random?

    Anyway I'm off now.

    Ciao for now peoples.

    Go Federer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  151. i'll hve one if i can choose, ngog. any hammer an sickles in there?

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  152. G'Day all! Have the tears dried up?

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  153. http://soccer.fanhouse.com/2010/06/27/the-world-cup-needs-instant-replay-now/

    Good article!

    H2, where are you? Hope business has and will be brisk as the Dutch move on!

    I'll be absent for two weeks from tomorrow, please have this Capello stuff and the future of the game sorted out before I get back.

    ReplyDelete
  154. Does Julio Cesar have to wear the old roman infantry uniform?

    Looks like a clown.

    Fine keeper though.

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  155. Just crawled out from under the duvet and found meself in the spare room! Oops. Fa have oscillated from fawning foreigner (Sven) to fawning Englander (McClaren) to no-nonsense foreigner (Capello0. LAst throw of the dice - no-nonsense Englishman, erm... Clarkson? Delia Smith?

    ReplyDelete
  156. Been some decent keepers in Torno - just not English

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  157. Oh and Gaz, you just know that the players are going to line up with a frigging sickbowl of excuses and each andevery one of them is going to point thier grubby overblinged finger in the direction of the stubborn unfeeling Italian. Take it with an almighty grit lorry full of salt.

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  158. We have a guy advertising insurance here, it's called nononsense.ie so he says that over and over again.

    So therefore the only solution for the next England manager is that GoCompare chap!!

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  159. Can we throw the salt at them Robbo?

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  160. Hmm, I suspect we won't have any problem playing an attacking game with Clarkson at the helm.

    POWERRRRR!!

    Trouble is we'd be even more one dimensional than we are now.

    ReplyDelete
  161. Oh and....

    The spare room and a duvet... well la di fucking da!!!

    Whatever happened to the couch with an old coat!

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  162. England - look at how some teams (in the words of Juninho) "play pass the ball"!!!!

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  163. Couch and Coat? Is the doghouse below you both? :P

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  164. Fucking Brazil.

    I blame Howard Webb.

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  165. 2-0 to Brazil all of a sudden.

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  166. Of course jeremy Clarkson would accept the manager position saying, "How hard can it be?"

    Its not the solution though, is it.

    Like all problems in life, accept the current crop is shit and start working where it really matters, i.e. the kids.

    Get them properly trained coaches and there is enough love and passion of the game that it will bear fruit.



    Not sure if firing Capello will be the answer even though he has made some right blunders in selection of unfit/out of form players.

    Just an example stat from the infostrada people, wayne Rooney has the WORST pass completion of ALL players participating in the WC so far. He has also been dispossessed the most number of times.

    He built a team around him, didnt he?

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  167. Fuck me I usually get the cement floor and paper towel service.

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  168. Pass the ball (hopefully to a player wearing same colours)
    Use space - its a big pitch
    In fact use pace
    Change formations
    And most of all STOP PLAYING LAMPS AND SIR STEVIE TOGETHER - and now we will do just that!!!
    Dont pick SWP and not pcik Jinky
    etc etc sorry Im starting tto rant!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  169. RodTheFierce said...

    Fuck me I usually get the cement floor and paper towel service.

    ______________________


    Well you will go to the cheap brothels Rod.

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  170. I should get the job. I'd sort the whole ship out.

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  171. Clarkson would fit in brilliantly well right now come to think of it. 'Ambitious, but rubbish.' ;)

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  172. Another thing about Clarkson is, he will go on and on about how even though the German specimen is techinically superior in every sense, the british examplar is actually 'better'.

    Stupid, arrogant behaviour. Just like what we have got right now.

    ReplyDelete
  173. I think Alan Sugar should get the job, if my application is turned down of course. Malcolm Tucker would be quite good as well.

    ReplyDelete
  174. Score 3 goals and still be th emost boring team to watch, Typical Brazilians?

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  175. Hi Rod, to judge by some of your comments you would probably scuttle it!

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  176. I'm the number one candidate in my eyes preach, I'd know how to handle Terry and co.

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  177. Spit - dead right - boring game - footy needs tension!!! And there isnt any.

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  178. Its not Terry and co I'm worried about Rod, I don't expect them to feature in the next world cup, but I'm sure you know how to pull the plug.

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  179. Congratulations to England. Your team may be on the way home, but it looks like Howard Webb may go on to the next round.

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  180. well said LFHS, another fine game by Howard Webb.... hope he's the next manager of England (and head of the FA, and referees committee and fair play panel and FIFA)

    ReplyDelete
  181. Wearing all those hats Trotts he'll end up with stunted growth and looking like Dickie Bird!!

    ReplyDelete