Wednesday, 30 June 2010

Smiling Through the Pain

I am shocked! I've seen pictures of England footballers (if that's not now officially a contradiction in terms) - England footballers LAUGHING just HOURS after the game.


Not miserable enough Cashley

Just what the hell have they got to laugh at? I don't expect to see one of 'em crack so much as a smile for the next four years. I'm surprised they've got the gall to fly home on an aeroplane. They should WALK. (I'm sure Rooney and co can manage the tricky bit around the Med - it wasn't that long ago that they could walk on water).

And some of them have got back only to go away on holiday. Holidays? No, no, no. Fuck the Maldives. We have some Three Lions sackcloth and Maldon Sea Salt for them to rub into their gaping wounds of shame.

Seriously though Ledley and Ashley are as entitled to a laugh as anyone. You do kind of wonder what they might have been saying to each other - something to the effect of:
'So at which exclusive late-night dive will you be hurling abuse at the staff and/or police, Cashley?'
'Where do you go to do it, Ledley, old chum?'

It's pretty clear what these blokes have got to laugh at, any road. They remain unthinkably well-paid for being unthinkably average and unthinkably blinking unthinking about the way they play the game.

They'll still be able to cash in. I can see the ads now. Rob Green consults his Nat West bank manager cos money just seems to slip through his fingers. Jamie Carragher embodies a particularly slow broadband connection. Parcelforce show Messrs Lennon and Wright-Phillips whacking cross after cross over Crouchy's haed while the strapline says 'For really good delivery use Parcelforce.'

You might include Capello in this loop of the overpaid and underdone although I don't think a lack of forethought is his problem. Just take a look at how clairvoyantly the squad suits matched perfectly the vibrancy of England's attacking play.

The FA have already embarked on their obligatory post-tournament challenge to distinguish a large posterior from the pointy bit in the middle of the arm. And even they manage that the chances of the elbow knowing what the arse is doing are nil.

There are of course various replacements being lined up, mostly by the papers, but frankly, unless someone potters in and tells the preening constricted ninnies who couldn't put together a 4-year-old's jigsaw puzzle let alone a thrilling passing movement to go back to their clubs and prepare for retirement, then we'll just have a different farmer to blame for being in charge of the muck-spreader.

Harry Redknapp leads the England squad out to train

Of course the fact that the thrusting young Germans turned us over has made everyone wonder why the creaking thirty-somethings were there in the first place. And there's a tale. Someone pointed me in the direction of Matt Dickinson in The Times.

He says the Germans were in bits after Croatia tonked them 3-0 in 1998. Self-loathing reached fever pitch when Keegan's England beat them 1-0 in 2000. (And that England team made this one look like Barce-frigging-lona).

They have to host the World Cup in 6 years! What are they going to do?

Option 1: Bring in a bloke who's seen the world and pay him shedloads to really nail down this 4-4-2 system so we can't do owt else, ever. And make sure he picks the same half-baked fatigued lamebrains to underline their mastery of the anticlimax.

Option 2: Force your nation's top division to have a fully functioning academy at every club or you'll take away their right to play in the Bundesliga. Oversee an increasing representation of young ethically diverse and talented young lads who actually get to start the odd game at their clubs and get a national coach in who like sthe idea of young fellas playing for Germany, even if it means the odd freakish 5-1 drubbing being given a team that's a bit tender and naive. (As opposed to England 2010 who represent the only recorded instance of being long-in-the-tooth and naive).

Naturally they took the long-term option. Not the quick-fix that turns out to be a BP style sticking plaster of a plan. We should do that, then.

So I hereby give my permission for:
1. Sepp Blatter to ride roughshod over European employment law and force English clubs to play at least 5 Englishmen.
2. The FA to put a wage cap on clubs in this country so that chuckling chavs look a little less self-satisfied when they open their wage packets of a Friday morning.
3. A ban on doom-mongers everywhere cos the average age of the new England team is 23 and they get a fearful hammering from Belgium.
4. Let's buy some playing fields back.

In the meantime you've got to start putting together your team of the tournament. Is bloody well mandatory.

Here's mine:
Eduardo (Portugal): Maicon (Brazil), Juan (Brazil), Lucio (Brazil), Heinze (Argentina); Felipe Melo (Brazil), Xavi (Spain), Ozil (Germany), Sanchez (Chile), Honda (Japan), Villa (Spain).

Honorable mentions to Klose and Higuain who are charmless but effective, Xabi Alonso, Endo, Donovan, and of course the lad Messi, who hasn't made it on the grounds that he hasn't surprised me at all.

Traditionally, you should have an Utter Stefan Kuntz XI but I'm afraid they know who they are and any road they're all on holiday at the moment.

885 comments:

  1. Yes, fame at last! Right now I'll read the blog.

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  2. curse you jay

    now time to take the mick out off rba whos on his own on the old blog heheheh

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  3. Cheers Bloggy, this is my 30 seconds of fame... well this and appearing on Emu's World and meeting grotbags when I was a kid!

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  4. Wassup peeps!!

    Been on non active blogging for a while because one of the Dungheap regulars decided my laptop was a little slow and decided he would clean it up, unfortunatly he did to thourough a job and completly wiped everything from the C files to the ip adress. Damn dutch effiency.

    Good Blogg Robbo, I totally agree that something needs to be done at the grass roots of football, I've said it before that the whole set up in England is miles behind other nations in Europe, it has been for years.
    Come on F.A. get your bloody finger out and stop doing sweet F.A.

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  5. no offence, jay, you weren't to know how much it means to me. bazazz!

    my brother "cleaned up " my computer up removing all the files, folders, drive, keypad and screen. in fact he knicked it. he's alwways been jealous of my superior good looks and intelligence, the ugly thick twat.

    lovely foto of the muckspreader, robbo. theres a band based in Bath called Muckspreader (fka : muckspreader holocaust) i got to know vaguely. they supported the worzels and had a miniscule hit with "the buzzing of a thousand flies" but thats as near as im going to the topic of the england team

    anna kournikova or gisela dulko?

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  6. Who's gonna manage your Kuntz XI Robbo?

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  7. How tricks, H? saw rvp had a wobble the other day when he was subbed.

    Go Holland

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  8. You know that age old question - Can a bad workman blame his tools? Well in Capellos case its probably fair to say YES, blame all eleven of the Kuntz

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  9. It's all good Bloggidy, hope you're well too mate.
    RvP did indeed "wobble" but luckily it was quickly played down by Van Marwijk when the media tried to make a mounain out of a molehill, he's doing a good job is Bert, no nonsense, no bullshit, no hype, kinda guy. Up next (Friday) it's Brazil, win that and who knows??

    Hup Holland Hup.

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  10. you seen the front page of the sun today? cashley was worse than just laughing at us. his web page or whatever was headed "i hate england and all the fucking people in it" or words to that effect.

    enoughs enough. time he emigrated.

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  11. david blane is said to be gutted after his record for doing fuck all in a box for 42 days has been broken by wayne rooney

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  12. 13th!!

    Just made the team but as a second half sub!!

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  13. "his tools" was a good enough analogy Jay.

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  14. great New Blogg there Robbo! top marks fella.

    At last another good bit of realism, not lost in the hype etc I wonder though how many will listen or take note.

    it is now clear to me why you had to make way on the beeb, to be replaced by those who no matter what will tow the company line and put out the spin ( matt slater excluded ).

    i have spent a lot of my time being highly critical of England and the hype that goes with them, a few journalist's writers will say it " how it is " from the heart not just solely to generate responses from the masses.

    this is what we want to read, realism!

    presentation means naff all its substance that counts and abilty sadly the masses have once again been fooled by the spin doctors, who let them into the world of sport? they need shooting.

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  15. The Portugal keeper had been undoubtedly the best in the tournament so far.

    Only got beaten once and that was an offside goal. (5th of the tournament so far.)


    Klose: Even the 'hoofing up along the park' bit was done much more efficiently than England. Typical Germans.

    FA: Fuck All.

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  16. Hup Holland Hup!!!

    As for the Kuntz XI, i think you need another Kunt to manage it. Say.... Sven?

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  17. never better thanks, H. my life, like the england team's, is a low-achieving gas. unlike them i have this nagging thought that i ought to press on a bit and become a bit more succesful

    brazil are firm favourites, but i hope the dutch pull it off; they might. hope so. they seem to have a bit more team spirit this time; could hardly have less than the ikke, ikke en de rest kan stikke English

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  18. Also, brazil are favs. But why will I be not pleased to see them win unlike their teams of yore?

    Oh yeah, they are boring and conniving.

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  19. Walking home as the crow flies Robbo? Too generous mate ... I'd make them walk the long way round, via Israel and Turkey to get back to Blighty.

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  20. But they win their games. As for that Luis Fabiano diving kunt, he irks the hell outa me everytime he goes to ground.

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  21. Hey Star, you forgot they've got to walk through Afghanistan as well

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  22. i have my own theories why things are not that good and have not been that good for a while.

    I just dont think its possible to produce a " team " who week in week out oppose each other in the way players do in our own PL.

    for weeks and weeks they generally dispise each other and if given the chance would spend the 90 mins kicking lumps out of each other then as if by magic they have to drop thier partisan Club ethics and play as a unit, a team for the good of the Country as a whole, how do you swich from hateing someones guts for 39 games to then be pals? and work together for the good of the many and not just the few.

    I think this a sad thing about the PL, its good, its got far better and we have had some great players to watch week in week out, but i dont think they respect each other at all at Club Level such is now the clamour for medals as a mark of success. No way with such a mentality can players just switch off and change attitudes, smarmy politicians can, as we have seen but sportsmen? i dont think so.

    I really feel we need a total and absolute clear out! top to bottom and a new way of looking at what is afterall a sport! until we change the mentality and the mindset we will continue to struggle on the worlds stage.

    and as for you Mcnulty your recent blog is an utter disgrace! and shows you have learnt naff all despite what you saw with your own eyes! still you peddle the same old shite learnt nothing what so ever.

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  23. And somewhere in Ireland the local news are reporting an explosion as Federer crashes out of Wimbledon.

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  24. DG3,

    I disagree with the hypothesis of competing club players being unable to play side-by-side for national team.

    Look at players from Germany (Bayern and the rest), Spain (Barca, Real and the rest) Argentina, Brazil, .... the rivalry is hoostile to the point of players being unable to go out for a walk in the rival city.

    On the other scale you have got the french. Most came through their so called centre of excellence. They have got the skills and the technique and they developed together but in absence of the ultimate gheto-boy-done-well (Zidane) they are bloody as useless as any bunch.

    I still think, the 1st prio has to be to get the school level coaches properly trained for any long term success to materialise.

    In the short run, force the 18/19 year olds to foreign leagues.

    I am sure, they will learn something.

    Drinking responsibly for example, which is a start.

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  25. as for my team of the tournament ermm I am having slight probs remembering the names and how to spell them:)

    however.......to make a start,

    in no particular order or position;

    schnider holland was good in the CL as well
    messi no explanations required
    Gilberto Brazil, assured, cool calm ( buy him back Arsene )
    david Villa monumental effort throughout puts
    in the hard yards as well.

    Klose : typical German
    ozil : ditto
    swienstieger ditto


    trevez : what a workhorse!

    that Spanish defender who looks a little like Robert Plant

    ermmm .......more wine i think:)

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  26. Well, I think they can Dave3rd. It's the fact people forget who they are once they don the National colours...Mind you the 1966 winning team were not playing for the same club then. And almost all the Germans play in the Bundesliga, and if you want any more proof, more than half the French team play at Arsenal and they're kak!!!!

    And talking of Arsenal, I need to have a word with Mr Wenger, Alardice and co for importing uselss players who come here, rake our moneys and refuse to buy a British passport

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  27. young ethically diverse and talented young lads
    ----------------

    so some honest ones and some lying toerags

    Anddy Murray must be a happy chappy now that Fed's out (as long as he wins himsef)

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  28. " Drinking responsibly for example, which is a start. "

    trust you to spoil your post with that one :)

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  29. C'mon Dave! How many Tony Adams does England need?

    a couple of them, as he was in his prime, would be nice, come to think of it.


    He is said to have drunk up to 20 pints of guiness in his legendary drinking sessions.

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  30. " and if you want any more proof, more than half the French team play at Arsenal and they're kak!!!! "

    OI STEADY ON!!! :)

    Gallas was well known by most Gooners to be an utter waste of space he may have left chelsea but always wore thier fecking hat.

    Sagna worked his socks of for the French as did Diaby. but i agree the French collectivly were utter shite and a great dissapointment, as were the Italians.

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  31. "ikke, ikke en de rest kan stikke"

    Ha ha, excellent as always blogidy. :)

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  32. 20 pints, is that all? puff. ive come back from england looking pregnant with 20 GALLONS of guiness from a 4 day bender, shitting lumps of coal feeling like death's a leprachaun

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  33. Spitfire ? as if i could drink 20 pints of guiness! where i would store it all i dont know but I have a mate who can do just that, blimey ive never seen anyone put it away like he does.

    and the cheeky bugger took a whole crate (24 bottles ) of my special guiness xmas promotion bottles and drank the lot without any trouble at all, in fact I am sure as eggs is eggs H2 would like his custom.

    as for me, the odd few pints of the black stuff but mainly a wino french as well :)

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  34. Spitfire said...
    C'mon Dave! How many Tony Adams does England need?...........
    ----
    Maybe that was the problem Spit....

    More booze for the England squad. After all, the only way to watch is them is totally pissed, why'd ya think the pubs are always full on match days?

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  35. Excellent blog, Robbo. Dunno, but are you making even more sense now than you did over on the beeb?

    Oh, and when I saw the pic with the caption "Harry Redknapp leads the England squad out to train" I found out that LOL really happens.

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  36. DG3, send him round mate.

    Over here, the "done thing" is to drink beer from a 0.25l glass (approx half pint) but 20-30 glasses is the norm in a session.

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  37. Apparently the England squad were allowed to have beer only once during their stay in SA.

    It was before the Slovenia game.

    And guess which was the only game England won?

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  38. on the subject of Guiness.

    as is known or alleged its full of Iron i learnt early on that my body was only capable of handling so much of this. it rejects, quite quickly, the excess.

    perhaps i should go no further:)

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  39. top blog and all that man, i completely agree that we need to take drastic moves to improve the home game and every club should have an active youth development side, regardless of size... all you need is a field and a ball ffs...

    but, for the merits of germanys planning lets not let a dire english performance fool us in to think the crouts are the best of the best, as they looked pretty fucking toothless against ghana... we were shit by our selves, not because germany were good...

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  40. I'm with you Dave3rd. Well, actually the best of the French were the ones you mentioned there. For me it's the fact that Arsenal (that's my team by the way), Man U, Chelsea (they tried) Kop, and the others should try and help in improving the English game by using more English and home countries players more often, not only the supersters.
    The Prem will continue being the best yes, BUT if you look at head to head faceoffs with the other nations teams

    e.g. the UEFA CL, Barcelona vs Arsenal
    Englishmen? Theo and er.... forget it.
    Spanish? Xavi, Basques, Iniesta, Valdes, Pique, Ramos, etc......and even our team had a Spaniard, Fabregas. That's where all is wrong.......

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  41. Its bullshit that top clubs in PL dont want to sign Englishmen coz all of the managers are non-english themselves.

    englishmen are shunned coz pound-for-pound, they are massively overpriced and shit in general.

    The moment a half-baked bean comes to notice, our tabloids build him up like he is something and before then end of the week, every frigging club wants to sign him up only to shove him either on the bench or amongst the reserves.

    These a-hos also somehow get to their heads that they are the messiahs and deserve better compensation for their asses to be licked.

    Top clubs dont have many Englishmen coz top -clubs want to remain top clubs which they cannot do with below par Englishmen.

    Take a look at Aston Villa.

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  42. Monk.

    Check out the Cup winning Arsenal youth team, it's chock a block with young English talent, Gibbs, Wilshere, Lansbury and many more. Many of them are on loan to Championship teams. If they don't make the grade at the Emirates they'll at least have the benifit of being trained properly for all those years and this can only be good for English footy, now we just need the other clubs to follow suit.

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  43. Yeah but the young lads coming out of the emirates are often left emotionaly scarred by wenger.






    and you know, his rigourous training regime.

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  44. Easy Hman... a long over due SNH5 to you my man! how is the land of clogs and windmills... has that little boy still got his finger in a dyke??

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  45. Bazzazz!

    rba are you suggesting that wenger is the catholic priest of footie managers hence his collection of sore-arsed choir-boys? shame on you!

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  46. Spits right too, English players are way over priced.

    20mill plus for Lescott and 30 mill for Milner???

    Muddafokkers, please!!

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  47. if she leaks call for the other boy with more absorbent fingers, i think his name's Tempe

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  48. i mentioned no such thing, that would be a very imature thing to say abotu a worldy respected manager... yeah sure, there were stories coming out of the training camp, and a lot of people asked questioned his methods, namely making his youth teams play naked, but he is a disciplinarian, and what ever gets teh best out of his players, if it takes a spank and a kiss so be it!

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  49. H2H, yup my broda, but if the other teams could do the same then it'll all be good, we need much more than Arsenal to start grinding out good youth sides. We need a resolve that will be met by all the teams. I hate the fact that after we've made them big money teams pouch them away from us. That is bad as well

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  50. Little girls are the ones with their fingers in the dykes nowadays RBA mate, dang lefty hippy's. ;)

    SNH5 back at ya bro, how's the little lad doing?

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  51. suspicions, and wenger's genitals, were aroused when they started to play naked catch the greased apprentice as part of the rigorous academy selction procedure, rba

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  52. i do agree hman, but SWP was worth 24mil of anyones money and rio at 30 mil is a bargain...

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  53. little lad is doing awesomely... cheers Hman.

    Blogs we need to stop this wenger-fiddy-diddle line of comedy now as any moment an arsenal fan (your mate dennis probably) will explode with anger, i mean teh very nerve of it all... making a joke!

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  54. How dare you guys talk about Wenger like that, naked training is the only way to achieve good flowing footy, the worlds a better place for the Arsenal way.

    Thank god they only have closed training sessions though.

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  55. i have no issues with the Arsenal set up afterall we supplied the backbone of the English defence for many years ( ok so we still won nothing ) as H2 says we have them in the wings so i am sure arsenal will once again be contributing to the English national team on a grand scale. but as has been said AW is not responsible for English Football he's paid by Arsenal to do a job for them, as he sees it many english players are not worth half the price tagg put on them as they have not proved themselves but have good agents seeking a good percentage.

    and do remember that the rear end of Man U and front end of Liverpool was once tried in the england set up and that failed also.

    as for england the way forward is defo some of those guys at the mo strutting thier stuff in the Championship, they will by and large come with no baggage! and very eager to prove thier worth.

    and also AW cant be that bad afterall he was offered the job well before cappello was given any consideration . he will take over as coach of the french team come the end of this season win or loose.

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  56. Monk.

    Arsenal are pretty much a big money team too mate, Arsene's just tighter then a highland mosquito's butt.
    Once the stadium is paid off (ahead of schedual) Arsenal will have more then enough dough to waste on lazy overpriced English (lack of) talent.

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  57. DG3 wrote;

    "....and do remember that the rear end of Man U and front end of Liverpool......."
    ---
    One long continuous line.

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  58. laters people...

    i'm off to stick my fingers in a dyke...

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  59. Laters RBA man, good luck, hope it's not too sticky, well maybe a little.

    WTF is Murray doing, the British number one will be scottish again if this continues...

    Ah, he broke serve.... British.

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  60. What is pmsl???
    --
    Nothing like pms I hope, cos I heard that's a bitch.

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  61. Yup. Everything costs more in England........... e.g. rebuilding Wembley took twice the time, cost more than twice the money than Soccer City rebuilding in Johannesburg. So everyone wants a share of the pound. Especially the players and their agents

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  62. Im away to eat.

    thankfully not a sticky Dyke

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  63. And I still don't know what pmsl means!!?

    Dave, OI, Dave......

    DG3????

    Damn it, I need to know!!

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  64. Dave, many a lad has dreamed of eating a sticky dyke.

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  65. pmsl......... pissing myself laughing. Don't tell anyone you heard from me. I probably made it up

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  66. ROBBO!!!

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

    Et tu Brute?

    You've fallen into the UKIP trap with the following sentence...

    "1. Sepp Blatter to ride roughshod over European employment law and force English clubs to play at least 5 Englishmen"


    PLEASE THINK ABOUT THIS!!

    It's the usual drviel brought up after every glorious England failure. (This is the first that isn't glorious)

    Let's get rid of all the Johnny Foreigners who are polluting our shores and destroying our talent by making them too afraid to come out of their houses with all their keepy uppys and nutmegs.

    Just what exactly will making each team field 5 Englishmen do?

    I'll tell you what. It will destroy English football. All the TV money and everything else will fuck right off. Why?

    Well sorry but (currently) English players are a bit shit. In the same way that Susuan Boyle is a bit ugly.

    Have Boro 5 Englishmen playing? Probably, seeing as they got relegated.

    If the player is good enough he will get a game, no matter how many swarthy young foreign men are around. It's not like a sex competition with the wife you know. In this case the Englishman can beat the foreigner. If he's better!

    I'm sure you said it the other day (well at least I hope you did) about stopping coaching the talent out of the kids. That's what it's all about. Nothing to do with how many foreigners are playing on the first team.

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  67. Gaz, I dunno I'm not blaming Johnny Foreigner. Although I fully expect a large dose of that when the WC biogs come out from JT n all. It's just there is no incentive for the Prem clubs to blood young players, English or otherwise, at the mo. Any road you still get 6 swarthy lotharios who can make a ball whisper sweet nothings so I think you're being as over the top as Ponce challenge.
    Take your last point though. Too many young lads play in teams where their every creative notion he's stamped upon by Football's Thought Police. 'Put that step-over away son, you won't be needing it at right back, will you'.

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  68. The Tees Mouth said:

    Gaz, I dunno I'm not blaming Johnny Foreigner. Although I fully expect a large dose of that when the WC biogs come out from JT n all. It's just there is no incentive for the Prem clubs to blood young players, English or otherwise, at the mo.

    ________________

    Lets not forget the only manager / club doing this (for whatever reason) are ridiculed at every given opportunity for not winning anything.

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  69. I dunno what a Ponce challenge is! Is that when Graham Norton and Piers Morgan have a fight? (Now there's an idea for a TV show)

    How about every club (Premiership especially) is forced to have an academy which must bring through a certain number of home-grown talent each year?

    Or just have the World Cup played on the Playstation.

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  70. which would you rather watch?

    "6 swarthy lotharios who can make a ball whisper sweet nothings"

    OR the alternative:

    6 English lunks who resemble a troupe of bling monkeys tryng to fuck a football

    ???

    more foreign players, please!

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  71. Graham Norton and Piers Morgan getting beat up is definitely a good idea.

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  72. Why not outsource the national football team to Brazil?

    Cost effective.

    Portugal are already doing it, although to not much success. Perhaps, they dont have enough Brazilians in the line-up?

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  73. what ive seen at the world cup is a bunch of teams with little between them except a couple of exceptional talents. we were banking on rooney being one of them but he looked burnt out. thank you fergie for running him into the ground.

    clubs already have academies. but talent is a rare thing. theyre waiting for the football messiah to walk through the door. plenty of false ones, thats for sure.

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  74. What you are all forgetting is that you could employ Steve Staunton as manager!



    Bloggy are even the monkeys bling now? There really is too much money in the game!

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  75. why not invade Brazil and re-name it England then do a massive population swap. hang on, that wont work.

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  76. Who's bright idea was to limit the Falklands War to the islands alone?

    Ah yes, the Tories.

    labour would have invaded the mainland.

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  77. only the bonobo chimp can be characterised as "bling-monkeys", gaz. this from wikipedia:

    "Gold jewellery plays a major role in Bonobo society observed in captivity, being used as what some scientists perceive as a greeting, a means of conflict resolution, and post-conflict reconciliation. Bonobos are the only non-human animal to have been observed engaging in all of the following sexual activities: ear-piercing, drug-abuse, tattooing the buttocks, anti-social behaviour, drunkenness, rapping and grunting like gorillas."

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  78. spit, marx said history repeats itself first as tragedy second time as farce.

    given that cameron plus fig-leaf libdem stooges are about to decimate the public sector, just like back in the 80s and given that we know the private sector cant manufacture that many jobs, we're going to have mass unemployment, riots and probably a war to sway the masses

    tragedy repating as farce i expect the libdems to invade the isle of man under the banner "No Man is an Island"

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  79. Ear-piercing is sexual activity?

    Fuck me, I lost my virginity way before I thought I did then!

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  80. sorry about that slip, gaz. apart from defining ear-piercing as sexual activity(i..did not..pierce the ears..of that woman...miss lewinsky..) that post otherwise made perfect sense

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  81. Perhaps some perspective...

    "Two planes landed in England yesterday. One carring 23 overpaid, under achieving footballers with egos to match their wallets. The other, 7 men whose coffins were draped in the Union Flag. The sad part is, the England players arriving home got more media coverage than the dead soldiers. Theres something wrong with that picture"

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  82. Just to let the world know I am boycotting the rest of the world cup had enough with all the cheating and bollocks that seems to go with this game will stilll follow birmingham city but don,t know if that counts as football so goodbye football you festering lump of shite you have become

    ReplyDelete
  83. John, read this...

    http://matureishstudent.blogspot.com/2010/06/its-not-me-its-you.html

    ReplyDelete
  84. I posted this (below) on a yahoo blog earlier. The position they took was pretty much distancing themselves from the tabloid press. Yet, some of what they have written prior and during the world cup was very similar to those in the tabloid press. It got me a bit pissed off. Apologies for the poor grammar etc...im rubbish at it.

    You media are all as bad as each other. You build em up way too much, then you knock em down again. Then when you have finished with that, you turn on each other.

    Hey lets blame the manager.......get him out.......you all wanted him in the first place you charmless nerks!

    Our problem starts with our society where kids arent allowed to leave their front rooms because the media have put it in every parents head that there is a paedophile lurking round the corner. So the kids stay in and get fat eating pizza and chips and playing on their playstations that the media advertise and offer to kids as prizes in competitions. So we have less players to choose from. Then you big up the premier league far too much and put pressure on any struggling manager so they lose their job, when they might just be bringing through the next crop of talented youngsters. So the next manager buys cheap foreign imports rather than give the youngsters a chance. Then you pick on the 1 or 2 youngsters that show a bit of promise and immediately label them the next "insert name of superstar here", so that goes the their heads and they start walking round acting the big i am. So they stop progressing, because thanks to you, they think they have made it.

    Im fed up with it. Its always someone elses fault and nobody ever points the figure at the idiots in the media (papers, tv & now blogs).

    What football team have you played for? Who have you managed at the top level? Yeah you probably have in championship manager!

    You nerks have no more credibility to write this than i have!

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  85. Polliticians and the media seem to like us being afraid. Is this solely down to us being easier to control?

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  86. I believe United have an academy but I think it's full of little johhny foreigners for whom they've paid the parents of said johnnies a ridiculous motza to have them attend, they arrive at the age of 7 get drilled in how kick a ball for 10 years and then, if one of them is really lucky, he may be sent out on loan to Scunthorpe for a season to see if he can hack it in the real world. If we're going to set up an academy at every club, a little more thought may have to go into how they operate.

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  87. i use a google online calendar and ive just realised you can subscribe to a calendar of your teams fixtures and weather forecasts and phases of the moon (never moon at a werewolf). sweet.

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  88. as far as im aware zeb there is an academy at every club. cheapskates like col u cant afford a £2million dome so they run Centres of Excellence, but thats essentially the same thing.

    i think people are underestimating what clubs do. being football types theyre thick but theyre not that thick, theyd rather nurture a talent than buy it in for half a million.

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  89. aug 7th port vale vs bury. bring it on!

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  90. Sounds to me then that all the clubs, with all their academies couldn't give a shite about England and the dearth of talent coming through the ranks but are more interested in making or saving money by growing their own. Well there's no use looking there then as self-interest (money) will beat national interest (love) every time.

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  91. On that, Swindon have a youth academy but if it's ever produced anyone of note, then I'm none the wiser. Oh yes, that's because the big clubs rape and pillage the lower league academies as well as paying the parents of little johnny foreigner a motza.
    What a system!

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  92. Shit, that was a long day, I opened up this afternoon and suddenly realised there was no footy on for a few days, beer didn't taste the same at first, luckily after a good few I realised that it did (phew) Tennis on the box in the bar just isn't cricket!?

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  93. You should've put the cricket on then.

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  94. That crap's even worse then tennis Zeb.

    *Runs for cover from all the yahoo cricket mongies*

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  95. Here's my Team of the WC so far (4-4-1-1):
    Eduardo (GK, Portugal), Maicon (RB, Brazil), G Pique (CB, Spain), Lucio (CB, Brazil), G Heinze (LB, Argentina), T Muller (RM, Germany), Xavi (CM, Spain), Gilberto (CM, Brazil), W Sneijder (LM, Holland), L Messi (CF, Argentina), D Villa (CF, Spain).

    Subs - Kingston (GK, Ghana), P Lahm (DEF, Germany), M Ozil (CM, Germany), J Hernandez (LF, Mexico), L Suarez (RF, Uruguay)

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  96. How about we leave comments on the BBC blogs, each including link back to this blog?

    We need varying comments here or we'll all just agree and stop commenting.

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  97. The link back to this blog is the only comment thats worth giving on BBC blogs these days!

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  98. After spending much of the World Cup warming the bench for Spain, Barcelona transfer target midfielder Cesc Fabregas may stay at Arsenal after all.
    Full Story: Daily Mirror
    ---------------------------
    Cesc to come as super sub and score a winner in final. He's again linked to Barca(frigging)lona!

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  99. Morning peeps.

    So Federer is out. I wonder how Rod is feeling?

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  100. SS11

    I'm with you on that one hey. I'm already on Phyl McNumpty's blog linking!

    Morning lads

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  101. So what do people think of the shock result at Wimbledon?

















    I mean who would've expected Murray to get through?

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  102. England's Wayne Rooney and Steven Gerrard have pulled the plug on a £16m football extravaganza to be held at the O2 Arena in London. The duo were due to be paid £500,000 each for one day's work next month for participating in a skills challenge with fellow Premier League stars Didier Drogba, Crisitano Ronaldo, David Villa and Cesc Fabregas. The event has now been postponed until next summer.

    -----------------------------------

    Aww, what's up? Scared you'll have the piss well and truly taken out of you because you screwed up royally at the WC?

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  103. Two planes landed in England yesterday. One carring 23 overpaid, under achieving footballers with egos to match their wallets. The other, 7 men whose coffins were draped in the Union Flag.
    ============================

    Not only that the 7 gave their all for their country.

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  104. Has money poisoned English football?

    Well yes along with the PL, then I guess the two go hand in hand.

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  105. Mueller, the 20 year old German striker, blames England's demise on the "Alpha male" culture in the England team. I imagine the English player's response to his comment would be "duh?"

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  106. G'day RBA... how's the little Aldershotian doing?

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  107. I see Hodgson got the Liverpool job then... see if he can get them to 7th in the PL on his first attempt.

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  108. Hmm so Liverpool have finally announced Hodgson as their boss ... does that mean the FA will be calling after 'Arry in a couple of weeks' time?

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  109. My bet is Capello will keep his job.

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  110. I don't mind if Capello keeps the England job, as long he does a clean sweep and starts afresh.

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  111. He needs to not be so stubborn in my opinion. He is still an excellent manager, regardless of how shite we are as a footballing nation.

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  112. It's pretty difficult for a 60 odd year old to change his ways Ngog... I should know :{

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  113. Ay up Bo, yeah the litlle shotter is doing tops mate...

    I think Capello will stay as FA can't afford to sack him (will cost 10 million squid!). I just prey that he grows a apir and tell gerard, lamps, terry and co to fuck right off... they are the past, thier is really no point building a team for the euro qualifiers around a bunch of 30YO failures... However i honestly expect more of the same with a few token changes, (hart in, james out, heskey out bent in)....

    dear me...

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  114. Haha!! Bo, Im sure the £6m a year he gets can ease the burden to adapt with the times.....

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  115. Pele and Maradona really don't get on do they?

    http://www.skysports.com/football/world-cup-2010/story/0,27032,12026_6239872,00.html

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  116. It would make a hell of a difference to my outlook I can tell you.... then again if I received 6 million a year you wouldn't have the benefit of my company this evening/morning.

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  117. I'm sure you would have time for the blog on your million pound yacht.

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  118. I'd have to think about that mate.

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  119. I was talking with Jack the other day... said he was off for three weeks soon... lucky bugger.

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  120. 3 weeks... the gents of buxton will all look like hippies by the time he is back!

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  121. Really? Lucky get!!

    Well, the sanctuary will be completely dead next week as BaggieMike is off all week and Jacks isn't there. Just me and my thoughts! Haha!

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  122. I'll come pay a visit then mate... don't want you left alone with them.

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  123. He'll probably arrange to cut off extra hair before he leaves RBA.

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  124. Verbeek is copping flak over here for the Aussies exit in the group stage.. I thought they did pretty well considering the hammering the copped off Germany first up.

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  125. Flaming hell ... you've gotten to near 4000 posts in the Sanctuary now. I'd pop in if I could be sure I wouldn't be quickly hounded out again.


    Do you do drinks to take out over there?

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  126. Yep, drinks on the go are welcome too Star.

    Yeah Bo, it wud be good to see you in the sanctuary mate.

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  127. Star just as long as the mods don't catch wind of you being there, they seem to have a sixth sense about where you are.

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  128. Mike is off to Devon for a lads week. 10 of them going camping. Then a few of them are off to a beer festival after that! Cant be bad.

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  129. OK I'm off to eat my flake and chips... type at ya later guys.

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  130. Bloody hell sounds like heaven Ngog... where do you sign up for that.

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  131. Not sure Bo. You will have to ask Mike in the Sanctuary mate.

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  132. if anyone heard Waddler's post game rant on Radio 5 and the subsequent 5 live special (hosted by Mark Chapman), then this will have given you a large insight to the problems with english football. Briefly these were :

    1) Overpaid, overrated, overhyped English players, none of whom have the skill or ability to get into another league or national team (if anyone thinks Frank Lampard is a good player I'll gladly wake you up to reality). Does John Terry or Cashly really think they are worth 150grand a week? Look at what has happened to Joe Cole, the one true talent england has produced since Gazza. He used to be a one man showboat, now what is he? A bit part player in a country that thinks Bobby Zamora had potential. Get a grip

    2) The FA - The Premierleague was formed to negate any conflict between the Football league and the national team, but all it as done is put a load of cash in the FA's coffers which it doesnt use effectively to coordinate or eductate grass roots coaching

    3) Player development - players are not taught how to develop skills, but are taught systems to win (having coached at several "schools of excellence I have first hand experience of this). Take a look at Messi, Fabregas, Xavi, Inesta, Pique... all came through Barcelona's system, all have the skills and ability to be comfortable on the ball in any area of the pitch, under pressure from opposition. Now compare with John Terry, Ferdinand, Lampard, Barry, Crouch who have been taught how to play a position. Look at the way England recycle the ball (along the back 4 where is it no danger to the opposition) compare to where Brasil, Spain, Germany recycle the ball (in the middle of the pitch where movement is good and defences become stretched)

    4)The Fans - demand effort above skill. This leads to "basketball football", end to end "excitement" where a half chance or a corner is worthy of cheer, and a crunching tackle, or a 50 yard ball for a striker to chase gets people off their feet... Morons the lot of you.

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  133. "Morons the lot of you."


    Well i never!


    Actually fair point...

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  134. Are there any non-English players in the Utter Stefan Kuntz XI? Discuss.
    Having been forced to drink Guinness all day at Sandown Races recently, as they do not sell proper beer, all I can say is it does strange things to one's movements the following day. It were almost green....
    I'll get me coat.

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  135. i guess we're all bored and depressed with the dumbkopf national football team.

    cheer us up with a Tour de France blog robbo -
    and a number 45 with fried rice while youre about it. ta.

    the tour starts this w/end, cavendish is favourite for the green jersey. he's a WUM of considerable talent, that guy.

    ReplyDelete
  136. I never managed the tour de France. She was too straight laced.

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  137. Hi di Hi.

    Not really surprising that it's slow chaps, no footy today (no more for England this tournament) plus it's great weather, well it is here.

    I've been off line for a while, so I'll check out all the "splinter blogs".

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  138. ello ngog, H2. rant coming up...

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  139. this is a bad day. ive been called a moron by a geordie. yesterday jordan called me a slapper and the day before abu hamza remonstrated with my ideological fanatcisim

    i enjoyed your wc posts, geordie. thanks for that.

    however im taking issue with this staement:
    -------------------------
    Player development - players are not taught how to develop skills, but are taught systems to win (having coached at several "schools of excellence I have first hand experience of this).
    -------------------------

    not sure what these schools of excellence are but theyre nothing to do with the academies and centres of excellence which not a single one of you including you robbo evidently knows a fucking thing about.

    the club academies and CoEs are designed to nurture individual talent. theyre not remotely interested in how the team performs becasue most of the kids/youths aren't going to make it. its all about the individual talent.

    there just isnt much of it about. thyre waiting for the footballing messiah to walk in the door, but he's busy on his PrayStation (haha i made a joke)

    everyones just poking the finger of blame around BUT its all of us and everything we do and think in england - the beer, the gormlessness, the breakdown of the family, the cupidity of the players and clubs and PL, the fat cunts in blazers, the video game culture, the laziness, the WAGS, the sheep-like unthinkingness, the laddishness of grown men.....

    In short English culture is no longer a participatory culture its a culture of self-indulgence and spectacle.

    you dont play football and work at your skills. NAH! you watch someone else doint it and then spend a few weeks moaning when they dont do it as well as the tabloids told you they would.

    as with the football, so with everthing else in our detached, degenerate, do-nothing, depressed country. and by the way if anyones still reading i fucking despair that everyone seems convinced that the massive cuts we're about to get in the neck are necessary. like turkeys on christmas eve we're just sadly shaking our wattles. theyre not making cuts this deep because they have to - thyre doing it because they want to.

    it was this sort of thing abu hamza was getting upset with me about.

    now can i please have that Tour de france blog, robbo, gaz, rba, somebody! so we can talk about proper athletes.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Nice rant Blog....

    Makes me glad I live in Holland, sounds like the UK is in the WC (not the tournament.)

    Tour de France cycilists are pants pissing, drug addicts........
    Wonder why the Dutch don't ever win it?

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  141. A tour de france blog???

    On yer bike son...

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  142. Blogggys Ireland is much like England.

    But with loads of guilt.

    The guilt doesn't stop the shit happening again though. That's Ireland for you, fell guilty but use booze to get rid of it so you can do it again.

    As for a blog on the Tour de France, I wouldn't know what drug to start with.

    ReplyDelete
  143. the post-trauma depression has set in, H.

    your back wheel is going round!

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  144. Adam can do a Tour de France blog, telling us how Kraftwerk stole the idea from PSB, the sneaky foriegners.

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  145. Blogggs how exactly was it a trauma? Didn't you see it coming?

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  146. It's a hard life Blogidy mate.

    Tommorrow Oranje's up against the Mighty Brazil, it will either be a party in the Dungheap or a pretty quiet weekend.

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  147. I cant' figure out who I want to win the WC less, Brazil or Argentina

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  148. no gaz, i really thought we were going to win it. its the absence of hopelessness, i can't deal with. hopelessness im fine with - its ok im getting there.

    i still think we're goign to win the next one though

    come on gaz do a tour de france blog we've all ridden one i want to know why you dont fall off. its a miracle! on the drug issue - start with anabolic steroids and end with zopiclone

    H2 - youve worked for it, mate - enjoy the fruits!

    ReplyDelete
  149. I hope you have all been watching Special1tv

    Watch from the start if you have't.

    "The World Cup is just for countries, I am champion of whole continent."


    Brilliance!

    ReplyDelete
  150. i want Holland to win. now that would be a miracle. brazil look like a bloody machine.

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  151. "enjoy the fruits!"

    ___________


    I didn't know the Dungheap was a gay bar

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  152. I want Argentina to win to see Maradonna go complete batshit crazy.

    But only if Messi scores 6 own goals on the way and plays so completely shit he gets mistaken for Heskey.

    There is no way I will be able to deal with the Messi wankfest if Argentina win, even if he has nothing to do with it it will still happen.

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  153. I'm depressed already and my boss wants me back at work. The forker thinks the World cup is over now the South Africa and England are out. Screw him

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  154. i think the word "world" is a bit of a flaw in the logic there, gaz.

    i'm off...

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  155. hup Holland hup... hup hup hup....hup Holland hup!!

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  156. Off where? We demand to know!

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  157. Dungheap's not a gay bar mate, but you're welcome all the same. ;p

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  158. H - ha ha. I was goingt to write a post pointing out that that Dungheap is a ref. to the dutch for anal intercourse and that you were really H out of Steps etc. but i dont want to deal with the put-down. so i wont.

    *Tragedy!*

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  159. RBA.

    Just caught up on your four latest additions of Woes.
    Impressive, mate.

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  160. ..just off, gaz..thats all, im not going anywhere, im just being a bit off, thats all.

    Bazzazz!

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  161. Off-colour? Off-putting? Off like bluemold?

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  162. Liverpool-bound Roy Hodgson wants to spend the £15m transfer budget he will be handed when he checks in as boss at Anfield on midfielder Gilberto Silva, defender Brede Hangeland, forward Rafael van der Vaart and midfielder Danny Murphy.
    Full story: Daily Mail
    --------
    vd Vaart plus 3 other players for 15mill, ol' Woy's lost it already, must be something in the scouse water.

    ReplyDelete
  163. Cheers H, i am just finishing off the latest woe, which i have been filling in back and fourth for most of the day... i'll heads up once its in...

    SNH5!

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  164. Scouse beer is shite. I've always said it and now it's proven by the Hodgson's spending "spree"

    ReplyDelete
  165. The new Blogs up...

    http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/07/fat.html

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  166. Blogdignag - thanks for reading the World Cup Blog

    re my comment on CoE's... I worked with 3 clubs, all of which have been or were at some point in the PL, and at no point was I allowed to work on nurturing individual skills. I was tasked with teaching 11-13 year olds how to 1)stay compact in phases of play, 2))deny space to the opposition, and 3)maximise goal scoring opportunities at speed.

    In other words I was told by the "professional" coaches my work had to be about hard work in the middle making sure midfielders could work box to box, getting tight to attackers, and getting the ball forward quickly.

    In addition, I was lambasted by a former pro and now coach because we had one lad (who happens to be the son of a former Olympic Athlete), who physically was bigger, taller, stronger than the other kids and was an incredibly talented midfielder... however as he was a big strong kid, he was pigeon holed as a centre back, despite having great dribbling skills, and incredible pace and vision.... The father soon took his 12 year old son from that club to another where he is now developing nicely as an excellent all round footballer.

    I do not pretend to know every answer, but first hand experience with the supposed experts has shown me that the CoE's are mostly jobs for the boys

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  167. Nice one RBA, the new edition is phat, bro.

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  168. Robbo's blog has become so fucked up since it left the BBC that I am no longer coming here.

    Gaz, you have so much hatred in side you... your post's used to annoy the shit out of me a lot of the times, now I just feel sorry for you mate... you should go get something done about it.... I showed a friend of mine your comments... he just said turd fondler... pretty well sums you up mate.

    There are a lot of nice guys on here but the few that aint so nice fuck it up for the rest.

    Bye guys it was good while it lasted.

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  169. A few canny rants while I've been away. Is this Parliament?

    The Tour De France? Is she like the town bike?

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  170. As earlier mentioned, I wasn't able to get online for the last week, so I've been catching up on all the gossip/blogs etc.

    Someone may of/most probably already wrote something on this, but I can't let it go;

    Manchester United defender Gary Neville's dream of building an eco-friendly £6m underground home is set to be decided by the Government. Communities Secretary Eric Pickles is expected to make a final decision on whether the flower-shaped 8,000 sq ft futuristic home can be built.
    Full story: The Sun
    ----
    GNev is an evil mole man? I knew that bum fluff on his boat race wasn't a real tasche, it's just a cunning disguise to hide his mole like features.

    Surely the Govt will realise that the best place for GNev is underground and grant him a building permit.

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  171. Bo, so it aint so, please don't go, we need you bro.... woe.

    I thought it was a bit different to how it wsa on the beeb at first, but i think things are settling down nicely now...

    and as for bo and gaz, i hate it when two people i find to be decent and enjoyable people irritate teh shit out of each other... we need some one with long arms to bang your heads together...

    (bo, you'll still read my blog though yeah?)

    http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/07/fat.html

    ReplyDelete
  172. Bo, don't go mate, stay on the...................

    Damn it, he's gone!!

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  173. That would be pretty sad Bo.

    If a certain poster/s annoy ya then just ignore them, I'm sure there's plenty of others who you can converse with, besides, the blog would be pretty dull if we all just agreed with each other all the time.

    ReplyDelete
  174. H2H said...

    "the blog would be pretty dull if we all just agreed with each other all the time."

    ________________________


    No it wouldn't. That's just bollocks. Stop being a wanker. Etc.

    ReplyDelete
  175. Anyway what I'd do this time?

    Or was that just one of those general "Screw you guys, I'm going home" rants?

    ReplyDelete
  176. Shut up gaz! grrrrrr!


    I just cant do it man, i like you too much, out of all the regulars your the only one who sent me boy an aldershot bib... which is fricking awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  177. Guys, this is ridiculous, from about 50 posters to now a core of about 5!! What the fuck is going on?

    Anyway, lets all talk bollocks for a change eh?

    ReplyDelete
  178. I did do that RBA.

    But did you know that young people can hear sounds that those out of their teen years cannot?

    Cunningly implanted in said bib is a microprocessing unit with speaker (an iBib if you will) which will for the next few years fill little C-man's ears with a running commentary of all United's glorious victories in the recent past.

    That and a strange voice telling him John Terry and Gary Neville are cunts.

    ReplyDelete
  179. Bollocks!!

    There I've started the ball rolling! (excuse the pun)

    ReplyDelete
  180. Barcelona's ex-Arsenal striker Thierry Henry is set to join MLS side New York Red Bulls on a two-year deal.
    Full story: Daily Mirror

    New York or Chicago? MLS or NBA?

    ReplyDelete
  181. Gaz.
    ET went home and was never heard of again, maybe the same will happen to SWP, who would notice though? As I now live above my bar I actually never leave home, aaaaahhh, what a life.

    ReplyDelete
  182. haham damn yuo gaz, though everyman instinctively knows that gnev and terry are cunts, and given teh permenent fergy-stiff the media has for man u, i am sure he will be painfully aware of the recent glories... it will fuel the hatred!

    Seriously though, the bib is awesome man!


    ooo-err!




    nuts... (hows that ngog?)

    ReplyDelete