Sunday, 13 June 2010

Rob-bed!!!

Ah the USA. Time and again we are told of the special relationship. Time and again it feels like the kind of relationship where you tag along and do what you’re told and every so often you get told you’re special and get thrown a biscuit.

But we’ll always be there for you our transatlantic cousins. Just ask Mr. Pastry-Hands No-Mark Twot rob Green. There’ll not be a gardener in the land who will take kindly to being called Green-fingered anymore.

Someone labelled Rob a great shot-stopper. He just has trouble with the odd woofty dribbler from twenty-five yarders. A one-legged kitten could have kept that out. It’s no good hanging your head and raising your head like a sad giant green elf. You’ve joined a select band, mate. Robinson, Carson, Bonetti...

Time was that English goalies were the envy of the world. They were showing clips of Banksy after the game in my particular Dubai bar and I have to say it made you want to weep.

And let’s not hear the whinging about the new wobbly balls. That ball went in a straight line from Dempsey’s boot to, about ten minutes later, Rob’s cotton-bud digits before it tottered apologetically over the line like some trespassing bauble.
Oh you plank, Green.

Not that there was much to cheer you up in front of you, save for Gerrard’s neat opener.

Ledley confirmed his fitness is about as reliable as the rhythm method. Carra proved what we all know – that there are gastropods with more leg speed than the rumbling old Scouse donkey. Milner had a mare. Had one kick and that earned him a booking.

Lampard had one of them games where every crossfield ball had the recipient going into instant reverse to try and collect the damn thing. Heskey did everything expected of him. Linked up play okay, fell over a lot and when the big moment came, hit the keeper with unerring accuracy.

Lennon didn’t have the best of days and was positively Walcottian in his delivery at times (but at least he posed a threat). SWP continues to look like a blind man playing Give Us A Clue.

And Rooney had to come and get the ball off Terry just to make sure he got a kick. I won’t have a go at old Shark-eyed Shrek, mind. What good stuff they did produce was a result of his nous. The Yanks dealt with him pretty well – and if they didn’t they simply clattered him to the floor.

Having said all that, 1-1’s okay. Glen Johnson had a good game I reckon. And but for a howler that would quieten all the monkeys in the Amazon basin, we’d have a nicked a win.

But America were so average it feels like points lost, doesn’t it? I mean their centre-forward plays for Hull, ffs. Ours plays for ermm... Villa. Occasionally. Hmmm.

The most unnerving aspect of the game was hearing the chant of USA coming across the bar. Nothing makes you more uncomfortable than that. I expect they’ll put down the Green clanger to the result of friendly fire.

Still, it’s a very Italian start – a scruffy draw. And our best results in World Cups began in similar fashions (’66, ’90). Christ it’s hard to type when you’re clutching at straws.

And I still have faith in Fabio. If only I had similar trust in the blokes he can put out on the pitch, eh?

Onwards to Algeria, lads...

In the meantime we can marvel at the besuited guru that is Diego Maradona. Does he know what’s going on? Nah. But do we care? Nah. He’s box-office, Diego and there’s a little part of me that wants the little bearded box of an Argentinian to go all the way.

His team did the usual. Kept it well, tumbled theatrically, and the defenders looks like they’re concealing hatchets in their pants. Messi glimmered but missed and a couple and Veron strode round the pitch like a languid pirate all flicks and taps and no end product.

Is he the most over-rated player in the tournament – after Daylight Ribery of course? Nigeria almost stumbled to a draw I suppose, but they do look good the Argies till they sat back a bit in the last 15 minutes. The keeper looks like a swarthy Russell Brand, I reckon.

Still the tournament has yet to catch fire save for the near-exhilaration of SA’s opening goal. The main problem is that awful bloody buzzing noise that you get through the game but i’ll get used to ITV commentary team in the end. Ahem.

I jest. I refer to the Vulvulas or whatever they’re bloody called. The missus tells me I wouldn’t know a vulvula if I sat on one. Chance’d be a fine thing.

Fingers crossed that the Aussies can spring a surprise on the Gerrrrrrrrrrrrrrmans tomorrow night.

And tomorrow, I tell you, 1-1 won’t look so bad.

I just hope Cap finds a place for little Joey Cole somewhere and can somehow slip a couple of Duracells up the rear ends of our plodding central defenders or anyone with half a yard of pace is going to mullah us.

COME ON ENGLAND... please...

413 comments:

  1. Green's clanger was no worse than Seaman in '06, or Shilton in '90 (although Shilton's was not his fault o'course!) Just be glad he's got the mistake out of his system early!

    England To win the next two, argies to go out on GD. It can happen, surely?!

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  2. Agreed that Lennon had a Wallcottian performance.. I do think however that Theo will take a shot himself, once in a while where as Lennon is more, how you say, passifist.

    Carra was 'orrible. Could have been sent off after the barge on any other day/ref.


    The rest, was well predictable England.

    1:1 in this group is not a bad result at all.



    BTW Robbo, this is how blogging is supposed to be.

    Current, interactive and no holds bar.

    Keep 'em coming, Sir.

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  3. agree with Spitfire..top blog, no fannying around.


    as for Englands performance..well lets just say im not impressed. Why is it that we dont thump teams like the USA, and Algeria etc u watch next game its gonna be another below par performance and some crappy scoreline like 2-1, when it should be 5-0 with the player we got! Lampard - chelsea's top man. Gerrard - mr liverpool, Rooney - UTD's main boy. Terry - Mr Chelsea, Cashley - best left in world? get my point? we got players that are world class and yet cant beat teams that are well.shite.

    forget wining the WC...it just aint gonna happen, we have the center mid's for it, but not the wingers, i just dont get why Joe Cole was not playing?? has he pissed Capello off or summat?? arrgh!

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  4. Hello old friends at Bloggo Blogson in exile! I want be here before, but busy with Western Heat of All Russia Pissing Up Toilet Wall. Now I West Russia Champ (I not brag, it was technicality really and holding nerve in penalty piss out) I relax. So good be back.

    Strange result in World Cup game between Anglo-Saxon Model and Anglo-Saxon Model. Gerrard show great form he display so little for Liverpool this season that Rafa sack. And then...Rumour in Russia say Caroline Lucas, Leader of UK Green Party, already announce consultation on changing party name. Though Greenpeace quash rumour it about change name to Jamespeace ("We very happy with our first syllable"), shiny-faced, chinless PM David Cameron has announce that under tough new immigration policy Rob Green might not meet skills qualification to get back into UK.

    But this all very harsh. When I play in goal for beloved AFC Sputniks of Smolensk I once so drunk that take free kick at edge of my box and score own goal. And I think this what happen Green. See him so nervous before game as wait face mighty strike partners Dempsey & Makepeace. So what do? It clear. He pour away feeble isothermic drink (or whatever is) from bottle and get out 80% proof. Initial confidence, then error. He human. He just a bit piss. Sober up in second half, probably using lard-based hangover cure.

    Anyway, question. Anyone know anything about Capello? Big Oleg, Smolensk protections boss, seem really frighten of him, and nothing frighten him, not even director's cut of The Exorcist or very unsettling Russian version of Bagpuss (translate back into English as "What's in Jafl's Fridge?")

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  5. Thats a fair assessment Robbo, a lot of players didnt turn up , but heskey did his bit setting up Sir Steve,
    the rest well best forgotten,
    as for Green I could have saved that and I've been drinking

    let me be the first to say welcome back Konnolsky

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  6. the blogs on the beeb are shit. i hate the way they have the whole WC thing goin, just dont seem proper

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  7. Green's clanger was no worse than Seaman in '06, or Shilton in '90 (although Shilton's was not his fault o'course!) Just be glad he's got the mistake out of his system early!
    =========================================

    Getting it out of his system is irrelevant, that's his last game for England.

    The slowness of Carragher's opponent really showed Carra's lack of pace... and Terry is no Cheetah either... if we come up against a speedy attack we are in trouble.

    Spit, 1-1 in the group may be OK... against the US is was poor... it's not as if we should have won by a decent margin (by the way we played) but we should have so by the way the yanks played, they were bloody shite... never really looked like scoring (apart from that one time when the forward went past Carra as if he wasn't there and the screamer that eventually beat our keeper (not going to mention his name again)

    Good to see you here Konnolsky... hope you amke regular visit's from now on... if that GK of ours is not allowed back in the country, he'll probably go settle in the US when he picks up his payment.

    G'day all

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  8. Pocket, is there a bigger sporting event going on in the world that we don't know about?

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  9. According to the rumours, "Spurs manager Harry Redknapp has turned down £3m a year tax free to manage Dubai side Al Ahli and will instead sign a two-year contract extension at White Hart Lane.".. apparently it not all about money for 'arry.

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  10. Bo, have a look at some of the past WC winners and how they faired int eh earlier stages. Then, take a look at some of the earlier starters such as Spain and Netherlands blowing teams away from the get-go, only to have never won the WC itself.

    No such thing as deserved success. Anyone who wins it, deserve it more than those who dont.

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  11. I haven't lost hope Spit and I didn't have any expectations from the off (only hope)... I thought we would struggle to get past the final 16... I just thought that judging by the poor opposition we were up against, the result was poor.

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  12. the blogs on the beeb are shit. i hate the way they have the whole WC thing goin, just dont seem proper
    -------------------------------------
    Pocket, is there a bigger sporting event going on in the world that we don't know about?
    -------------------------------------
    what do u mean bojangles?.
    =====================================

    Just thought that with the WC being on what else would the blogs be about.

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  13. no no i meant the whole layout of the WC pages...its poor. and the blogs are poor too. they miss robbo trust.

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  14. i have a message for the England players..eat da poo poo!! lol

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  15. my apologies pocket... as usual I grasped the wrong end of the stick again.

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  16. Anyway guys, I am off to join the real world. Ánágodziih doleel.... type to y'all later.

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  17. ahh not to worry fella, happends to the best of us..gonna hit the sack myself aswell..well after a cigg and some cake...g'night all. g'night from sheffield.

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  18. Good blog. 1-1 is definetely a good result to start with. Gerrard is aiming for 7 pts from the group.

    I was miffed with Rooney last night, he often played deep and wide... hence he had very little shots on goal.

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  19. In the end we were lucky not to cock it up completely. Green nudging the ball on to the post was a bit closer than I'd have liked.

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  20. You can't get miffed with Rooney, mate. That's what happens when your top player isn't getting too much of the ball. He comes looking for it.

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  21. If Rooney played more central, he would have got the chance that Heskey had when Lennon put him through

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  22. 341 pts in WC FFL. But this one has confusing rules about transfers and substitutions.

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  23. Robson and Green 2 words that should never sit pretty in the same article

    So now we are down to 2 gks, 1 fit and young and 1 other calamity waiting to happen

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  24. Was it just me or did the USA strip make them all look like pageant queens with that nice sash across the front? Just makes the fact that we can't even beat them even worse.

    Here's hoping that we'll see a game today with more than 2 goals, preferably Australian.

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  25. Grit
    I'm with you on that. Had enough messages from German colleagues. I just want to repay the compliment

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  26. Question on German SKY for tickets to the final
    " When was the last time Eng won the World Cup? 1966 or 1986"

    Are they taking the piss?

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  27. welcome to dubai Robbo!! love your blogs.. and would love to meet ya.. meanwhile enjoy the heat. bloody depressed after last nite's game.

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  28. In all truth we didn't really deserve much more than 1-1.

    But for christ sake why did it have to be in that manner?

    Oh wait I forgot, Green's a Norwich player.

    SCUMMER!

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  29. My depressing player summary

    Good Gerrard, Heskey, Lennon, Johnson
    Fair Lampard, Cole, Rooney, Terry, King,SWP
    Poor Milner, Green, Carragher

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  30. Hey all

    I thought England played quite well bearing in mind that few teams hit the ground running...

    and the USA are a decent outfit, not great but difficult enough.

    The problem with england is that we can't play 5-a-side, that quick passing-on-the-deck style that means we could retain possession.
    This means other teams will always get the ball and make chances...

    ...which, considering our lack of centre halves, may prove deadly...

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  31. quiet in here...i guess everyone 's gettin ready for algeria v slovenia

    a big win for either would make the group interesting...

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  32. oh and i bought a new HDTV just before the WC...watched the Eng USA game on ITV HD and YES i missed the england goal cos they switched to adverts...just like in the FA cup.....

    baaastardddddddssssssss

    oh....and boing.

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  33. Morning after:

    sore. disappointed. slightly miffed on someone in particular.

    Is this how everyone is feeling?

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  34. Spit
    I think thats a fair take on things

    Heading to the Hamburg fanfest tonight, hoping for at least a point from the Roos

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  35. tone,

    the Stuttgart local government has inexplicably not organised any public viewing.

    The last two tournaments I have been in Germany, 2006 and 2008, we had crowds upwards of 100,000 descend upon the central Schloss Platz.

    Will miss the atmosphere.

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  36. Thata what I loved about 2006 and 2008,as well as HH I was in Dortmund and Koln for WM.
    Equally 2008 the atmosphere was fantastic. Some things Gerry does very well, if not in Stuttgart this time

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  37. Vuvuzelas?

    Love em or hate em?

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/world_cup_2010/8737455.stm

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  38. Tone, re public viewing in Germany,

    a significant of the crowd being young and female doesnt hurt either. (actually, of late, thats true for bundesliga too)


    90,000 people blowing quite noisily on vulvas ruins the pleasure of watching a game. They have made a point of being different and african or whatever, now just shove it.

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  39. That all adds to the public viewing or is it voyeuring.
    Totally different attitude, you can dance with anyone, ADAM would love it

    btw I dont mind blowing on a vulva, but as you say the noise is distracting from the game

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  40. 90,000 people blowing quite noisily on vulvas
    =================================

    not only ruins the pleasure but would be quite distracting too.

    G'day all

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  41. It was always going to be a pain in the arse Spit... we knew that from the confederation cup onwards... I watch the games with sound off... I cant handle the noise otherwise.

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  42. I think by the sounds of things I was watching a different game last night. The USA were the better team by virtue of having the better chances and at least deserved a draw.

    The USA are a very good team, and a draws a good result. I think some English fans are being a tad arrogant here.

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  43. Purely blaming Green is a cheap shot. Heskey and SWP both missed sitters and even Rooney, the beast that evolution just can't explain, misfired.
    Plus why did Capello even pick Milner, King and Carra?

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  44. "I think by the sounds of things I was watching a different game last night"

    That happens to most of us non-English people Rod. The game I watched would have seen the US of eh? score a shed load if they didn't have Dozy Altibore up front.



    "I think some English fans are being a tad arrogant here"

    Surely not. That'd be a first if it was the case.

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  45. haven't seen any skewed views on the england match...just different opinions.

    I didn't think Altidore had loads of chances, just a couple which were half chances or were well saved by Green...

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  46. god on earth the algeria v slovenia match has been shite...England should hammer them...and i mean HAMMER!

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  47. 59th... Ignore them mate, they are United fans who cant understand why there are abu's in the world... their view on any england game will always be slanted.

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  48. Afternoon lads.

    Nice piece Robbo, good to see the heat hasn't affected your blogging skills.

    I watched last nights game with a bunch of locals here in the Dungheap on dutch TV, here's my summery;

    WE WERE SHIT!!

    Green, o dear o dear. It's no secret that I've been advocating Hart all last season and this is one of the reasons why, RG and Calamity James are accidents waiting to happen, where did West Ham and Portsmouth end up this season? Enough said.

    Capello is a great coach, but I think he has to shoulder the blame on this one too. I think there should of been more clarity to who was his first choice keeper. He switched between them all in the warm up friendlies, gave James the No 1 jersey and didn't tell his players who was starting untill two hours before kick off. (if the media is to be believed) That doesn't exactly install confidence now does it?

    Why did King start? Actually I can't work out why he's in the squad, if he was a horse he would of been found in a glue bottle years ago. He can't play more then one game a week, the mind boggles!!

    Milner had a 'mare, Donnavon owned him and had him beat everytime, it was a good call by Capello to take him off, but why not replace him with Cole, rather then SWPants?

    As for the rest, well, no one really covered themselves in glory did they? Although I did think Gerrard gave a good showing, Rooney was so far out of position he might as well of played centre half, stick the guy futher up field and pass to him ffs, he can't do anyhing if he keeps having to collect the ball so deep.

    And would the media and everyone else please drop the "world class" tag when talking about our lads, it's just embarrssing, the only thing world class about us last night was Green's blunder. I must admit though it was nice to see some come out to say that they will stand behind him and support him, in fact that's a great tactic, have a defender STAND BEHIND HIM!

    The US weren't great, but what does that say about us?

    O.K enough doom and gloom, at least we didn't lose, (it could of happened) so were still well on course to qualify. COME ON INGERLAAAAND!!!
    ----
    My brave (pool) lads, the freedom fighters of Slovania have just snatched victory from Trotter's evil axis Algeria. Top of the League!!!!
    ------
    Welcome to exile Comrade Konnolsky.

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  49. I agree up to a point Rabster... why were they selected... but Green has to take full responsibility for his fuck up, unless you want to blame Capello for selecting him in the first place.

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  50. Totally agree H2... cole was the obvious replacement for milner.... and slovenia are top of the league thanks to a green like GK effort.

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  51. I HATE, really HATE to admit it, but Gaz and Rod are not far wrong, USA definetly had chances to score and beat us, we were poor.

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  52. My-back-pocket said...
    god on earth the algeria v slovenia match has been shite...England should hammer them...and i mean HAMMER!

    -------------------------------

    i think this post supports the point Gaz made...

    why should england hammer these teams, we aren't THAT good. we're good, but not THAT good.


    now, what was that about vulvas?

    a friend of mine drives a vulva....but at the mo it's in for a cervix...

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  53. Nobody is saying we were not poor.. I dont see where the US were the better teaam and I only saw two chances that they made... and one of those was not their goal... so no, they should not have won the game and were fortunate that green allowed them to draw... but we were shite all the same.

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  54. aye they had chances but so did we?

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  55. There was no time in the game last night when I thought we would actually lose the game.

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  56. not even when Altidore went past Carragher...coz at that momemnt i shit myself lol

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  57. Bo, there were moments last night when I was shitting bricks mate, the U.S had their fair share of chances, they had a shit load of corners which our "defence" seemed to have difficulty with and a better team would have destroyed us.

    It's not the end of the world (cup) but a vast improvement is needed in every department if we wish to get futher then the first knock out stage.

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  58. Not even then pocket... altidore's angle was pretty sharp and green's effort at saving it made the shot look much better than it actually was.... but carra's lack of speed doesn't bode well for later matches... 3 more I am predicting.

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  59. I was watching a different game then H2... because I never saw the chances and never felt threatened... but I'll agree with you the future of this wc looks limited... we don't have the players there to improve enough in my opinion.. certainly not in defence... maybe bring barry in and crouch has to be a better option than heskey.. even though heskey had a fair game last night (apart from his giving Howard catching practice).

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  60. BojanglesOfOz said...
    Not even then pocket... altidore's angle was pretty sharp and green's effort at saving it made the shot look much better than it actually was....
    ----
    At that moment I thought Green was going to push it into the net..............it would of been nice to have an England player on top of the most goals scored list.

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  61. My-back-pocket said...

    not even when Altidore went past Carragher...coz at that momemnt i shit myself lol

    ____________

    if I may, and I jest, your fascination with poo (shit) a bit disturbing.

    Here, we almost had vulva as the topic of conversation.

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  62. Bojangles - I agree Green fucked up but I am just saying many others did too. Goalies tend to be easy targets and yes it was a "howler." Big picture, England were at best poor and not only one person was responsible for that.

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  63. I don't see any of our outfielders getting the golden boot H2, so maybe leaving green in goal would give us a chance at it.

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  64. Is this a good time to mention that I was born in England, have lived in England all my life, speak only English...

    ...and support Germany?

    Hey, at least Germany didn't draw with the USA.

    Not that that was the worst part. They almost won the Confederations Cup FFS. It was the abysmal play of the last 20 minutes, or, indeed, entire second half, that really disgusts me. Great footballing nation my ass. How can you be a great footballing nation if at 1 all against the USA with 10 mins to go you're passing it around your back four and occasionally hoofing it up field to who ever happens to be somewhere near?

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  65. I agree with you Rabster... I think the whole of the england team, other than Gerrard and Heskey were rubbish, but even allowing for that, if green hadn't buggered up they still would have won the game.

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  66. Midfielders no where in sight I hasten to add. Looks like Garry Barry is going to have to ride to the rescue, on a big white horse that will occationally turn up in front of the back four, get the ball, and try and start an actual move going.

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  67. Who is saying ENgland is a great footballing nation?

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  68. *occasionally.

    I do speak English, honest.

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  69. Indie,

    and what has caused your predicament, if we may know?

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  70. if I may, and I jest, your fascination with poo (shit) a bit disturbing.

    Here, we almost had vulva as the topic of conversation.


    ----------------------------------


    lol spit fire i take it your referring to the very famous eat da poo poo link i left on here...

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  71. BojanglesOfOz said...
    Who is saying ENgland is a great footballing nation?
    ---------------------------------------

    People...

    The fact is, they should be. It's far and away the biggest sport in the country. England has the most lucrative league, big players playing at top clubs in the Champions League. Been playing it for bloody ages too.

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  72. Indie,

    England has the most lucrative league in which sixty, yes 60% of the players are not english.

    What does this tell you?

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  73. Last night wasnt too bad as for result - it was a potentail banana skin - the worry is the confidence of Green, the injury to King (god forbid Carra play agasin) and the mood of Rooney. THe good points - Johnson looked good - very good going forwayd - Heskey can contribute a lot and does (except goals), Gerrard looked up for it and few of England games will end 0 0 :)

    Now to read Robbo and catch up on all you posters comments - laters

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  74. Spitfire said...
    Indie,

    and what has caused your predicament, if we may know?
    ----------------------------------------------

    God knows. I think I watched Italia '90 before I learnt the rules of team supporting and though I remember almost nothing from it I have been left with a chronic desire to see Germany win whenever they're playing. I doesn't help that whenever I get up a bit of enthusiasm for England they go and do something like this. I was genuinely well up for supporting England this time. There are a fair few Spurs players and I've been following the premiership and the build up this season more than I've ever done. But they've no chance of winning back my affections till after the group stages now. Trouncing Algeria and Slovenia wouldn't be good enough.

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  75. Holloway2Holland said...
    Indie,

    England has the most lucrative league in which sixty, yes 60% of the players are not english.

    What does this tell you?
    ----------------------------------------------

    Not as much as you want it to tell me I feel. You have the best and richest league, you're going to attract a lot of out-of-towners. The England team itself is still made up mostly of players playing at the top end of their league.

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  76. I agree with Spit lets back to the vulva conversation!!!!!!!!

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  77. Indie

    but they are not world class

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  78. Indie, it says that Capello doesn't have an awful lot to choose from.

    With all due respect, supporting national (or even league teams, should (I say should not must) be a local thing, where you were born or where you live being the major factors, if you choose your national team because they looked good in a tournament a few years ago then you might as well go all the way and start supporting Man Utd too. ;p

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  79. H2H - thank you for admitting that United always look good!!! :)

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  80. watching the serbia/ ghana game..the sound of the vuvuzela's is fuckin annoyin nw man...heard they were gonna introduce a ban...

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  81. It's cool Gaz, I'm also happy to admit that Utd are ze Germans of the PL.

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  82. I suppose as an Arsenal supporter H2 you have seen United looking good a lot recently!!

    (Sorry, does this qualify as kicking an England fan when he's down?)

    (That raises the thought of can you kick Emile in any other situation)

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  83. ok less of the manutd bashing please...

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  84. H2 - United are quite like THESE German people, very generous!

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  85. It's OK Gaz, you are allowed to take it out all on Arsenal fans, Henry being a legend and you being Irish and all that what comes along. etc. etc.

    Tell you what, Henry would have kept the ball crossing the line last night.

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  86. My-back-pocket said...

    ok less of the manutd bashing please...

    ________________


    But with out it MBP some people would just wither up and die, it's all they have!

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  87. Man Utd fans and Vuvu thingy's loud and as annoying as hell, but they're both here to stay. ;)

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  88. Spit you have just solved the England goalkeeping crisis - move the three of them in to the French camp and get Thierry to coach them for the rest of the tournament.

    I'm honestly not missing Ireland being there. I really don't give a crap about the World Cup. I'd like to see North Korea win though, just for giggles.

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  89. That means Gaz, that there are now exactly two people outside of North Korea who want them do well.

    I got them in the Baggie Draw.

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  90. United fans are like Vulvas??

    Wet & smelly yet your whole life revolves around them!!


    Coat please.

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  91. Oh ok Spit. For giggles and cos it means you win the sweep.

    And I suppose the thought of Kim Jong Il in a few weeks telling everyone how he scored the winner in the final would be funny too.

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  92. *hands gaz his jacket*


    go now.


    lol

    ReplyDelete
  93. GazUtd said...
    United fans are like Vulvas??

    Wet & smelly yet your whole life revolves around them!!
    -----
    Are you saying you're all just a bunch of c-units Gaz? ;p

    ReplyDelete
  94. Also, I want to see them use some ICBMs to blow up in night sky coz they havent got any standard fireworks.

    Must mention, the ICBMs blowing up shortly after take off thing is not a bug, its a feature.

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  95. man the matches so far in this WC have been pretty shit...and commentators all they go on about is this new 'round' ball...

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  96. Passifist - nice one SPit
    And H - agreeing with Gaz and Rod is fine - just dont tell the world - it only encourages our Irish freinds to post - andthat aint good - only joking lads (Rod - thoutht u were on a date with Katy Perry - blow her vulvazela mate)
    Robbo - great blog - I lolled - and very fair summary of where we are - and we can still win it (gulp).

    ReplyDelete
  97. Btw - I can honestly say my balls are not round. Doenst seem to cause a problem though. New Balls Please?

    ReplyDelete
  98. fbh,

    so your balls are not round? want them kicked as often as the Jabuliani?

    think, the shape might change.

    ReplyDelete
  99. In other news, it's absolutely pissing it down here.

    Which means I can't go out to paint the decking. Shame.

    ReplyDelete
  100. A ban on vulvas beings considered??

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/world_cup_2010/8737455.stm

    They dont really bother me that much - but do miss hearing singing by fans!!!

    ReplyDelete
  101. Hey, we arent exactly bragging about teams that we have got, are we? Baggie wont be pleased...

    Which reminds me I have my game tomm against the team I like. I would love to see contrasting performances from RVP and Bendy. RVP to score as many goals as the chances missed buy Bendtner.

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  102. Decking - Gaz u really are Middle Class!!! Decking - I ask ya. And DIY - on a Sunday - reminds me of the Song Sunday Bloody Sunday - a classic that epitimises the frustration of DIY on a Sunday (c/o Partridge)

    ReplyDelete
  103. South Africa considering vuvuzela ban. Good or Bad? Difficult to decide... May be good for the game and TV audience, may be bad for African culture & celebratory moods.

    ReplyDelete
  104. Looks like the first games are suffering from Firstgameitus?

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  105. FBH - just keep it between ourselves mate, but in reality it's like a 12 foot long balcony with as much wood as Postman Pat when he gets excited.

    Hardly posh. But still it has to be painted and I can't do it cos it's raining. And as a lazy bastard I feel happy because no job is too small to be able to put off given even the slightest excuse.

    ReplyDelete
  106. Plenty of back and forth in the Ghana Serbia match without too many chances being created... don't see either of them troubling the Germans.

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  107. glad to hear ghana v serbia is average...i have aussies in the sweep at work.

    ...and Nigeria in baggie's sweep. 2nd to the argies is my hope now...

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  108. no job is too small to be able to put off given even the slightest excuse
    Ahhh!!!! A fellow traveller :)

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  109. Why on earth would you do today, what you could just as easily put off tomorrow?

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  110. H - Oranje playing tomorrw at12.30 uk? Looking forward to seeing them - and IF engln dont win it hope they do!!

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  111. Well said Gaz!!

    Fbh, the Dungheap has it's orange bunting etc hanging and we're all raring to go. They had a good warm up period where they blew away all that was put before them, so expectations are pretty high and unlike with England these expectations are well justified. ;0

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  112. im goin to have a bath, bit of radox might make me feel better...

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  113. 1;30 (local time) is the only thing I'm not so happy about.
    2 games at 1:30 and one at 20:30 is not the best times for us bar folk, but F-it, I'll be open and on the beer anyway, actually, I open for all the games, just an excuse to watch footy and drink beer, but the missus doesn't seem to mind, she thinks I'm doing it for the extrea income, she's in for a bg shock when the group stages are over and I'll be staying in bed till after 2 again.

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  114. Can't believe that guy was complaining that he gave away a penalty, that was a blatent handball.

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  115. Why is it when Vidic wears a red shirt, he has to argue with the ref?
    answers on a postcard

    ReplyDelete
  116. OK Ghana,

    Didn't expect that, NL wiped the floor with them last week.

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  117. For anyone who doubted that, I got Serbia in Baggies sweep, there's your reason.

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  118. Baggies sweep?

    When did he leave sooty?

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  119. Holloway2Holland said...
    Baggies sweep? When did he leave sooty?
    ---

    Right after he figured out Harry Corbet was fingering his ass all these years.

    ReplyDelete
  120. What's with all the poo....

    TUT. TUT.

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  121. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45NOP1OA-EQ

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  122. The Formula 1 race is, relative to most F1 races, quite exciting - but its still dull.

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  123. Ha ha, Evil.
    ----------
    One thing I forbot to add in my earlier rant about the England v US game, is how disappointed I was that not one England teammate went to console Rob Green after he made THAT blunder.
    Where's the team spirit?

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  124. 3 blokes with microphones are now folowing an F1 car looking at one of its tyres -arrrrgggghhhh!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  125. Lets see if the Germans can do something that they say can never be done.

    win with the young.

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  126. Germans will be fine Spit, no superstars, but a decent balanced team.

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  127. Sorry Bo but I completely disagree. Both teams had very few chances but I think USA had better ones. There were 2 or 3 headers from crosses that went just wide with Green completely beaten. England had the Gerrard goal and the Heskey chance. Can't really remember much more.

    England played route one all night probably because Capello is cute enough to know that the USA are a very good team who have a great work-rate. The arrogance of some people here is amazing. Even if England are the better team, they're playing a very good side who can cause problems. And its at altitude. Slovenia and Algeria are a completely different kettle of fish though.

    Remember it doesn't matter if you have world-class individuals in your team - look a France for f**ks sake!!

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  128. poor start from Ze Germans.

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  129. I thought Heskey did well. I thought the team did quite well too. But the Green blunder just shows how mentally weak English footballers are. Gerrard's backpass against France cost us in some tournament-I can't remember which. Rooney got sent off against Portugal, same tournament and Beckham against Argentina, in '98. Scott Carson mistake against Croatia, Seaman mistake against Brazil, Bonetti mistakes against Germany, Shilton mistake against Poland. Missed penalty shootouts galore. English players are weak under pressure and other teams aren't.
    What's the reason for these things when English club sides dominated in Europe for decades?

    ReplyDelete
  130. There you have it lads, Podolski, 2 goals in the Bundesliga season, needed 7 minutes to score for the national team.

    ReplyDelete
  131. Spitfire said...
    poor start from Ze Germans
    -----
    Spit, surelyb you should know better by now that you can never underestimate ze Germans.

    What a shot by Podolski, Kaboomski!!

    ReplyDelete
  132. England players have a poor mentality because they keep getting told they have a poor mentality. Its not rocket science.

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  133. I think it's the other way roung Rod, they're always been told how great they are, get transfersd for ridiculous amounts and are paid even more ridiculous wages. They think they're "world class" when they're more often then not just better then average.

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  134. H2,

    think Özil is a fair replacement for Fabregas?

    ReplyDelete
  135. Fab would be almost "impossible" to replace my friend, but Ozil might ease the pain a bit.

    OK, which fool bet against the Germans?

    If Oz is not careful there in for a real hiding.

    ReplyDelete
  136. 'em Germans are passing the football beautifully through the center.

    ReplyDelete
  137. Well if they're just average players then getting a draw against USA is a very good result. I dunno, you never really hear the Irish press slaggin the Ireland team and theres plenty of opportunities.

    Youse just shoot yourselves in the foot every time. If England ever do win the world cup again it will probably be the result of the best team mentality of all time.

    ReplyDelete
  138. I don't think Ozil is that much myself... this Aussie defence is slow and is being shown up for being slow too... the way they are playing even england would look good against them.

    ReplyDelete
  139. They have to bring a striker on in the second half... this team selection was made for a draw... it's a whole different kettle of fish now.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Bo, Ozil is not a bad player mate.

    If Oz has a striker then why the f' is Cahill playing as CF?

    ReplyDelete
  141. Cant we get back to the vulva discussions?

    ReplyDelete
  142. Red???
    Badly timed but extreamly harsh.

    ReplyDelete
  143. It's just gets worse... if that was a sending off offence, then I know nothing about football.

    ReplyDelete
  144. They have Kennedy... why he isn't playing I have no idea... Holman can play up front but he is being used as an attacking midfielder.

    ReplyDelete
  145. BojanglesOfOz said...
    It's just gets worse... if that was a sending off offence, then I know nothing about football
    -----
    Maybe you can apply for Cheif footy blogger by the beeb. ;p

    ReplyDelete
  146. Idiot referee is ruining a perfectly entertaining game.

    Useless.

    ReplyDelete
  147. That decision as unbelievable. Can you get a red card reduced to a yellow after the game? Fair play to Cahill for just walking off, if it had been me I probably would have pinned the referee down on the ground and shit on his face.

    ReplyDelete
  148. Ruykavysta (the guy coming on) is a genuine striker with a lot of pace... just has very little experience and can only strike with his left foot.

    ReplyDelete
  149. Terrible defending, but well taken goal.

    ReplyDelete
  150. Ze Germans have too much class for the Aussies I'm afraid.... re Ozil H2.. I don't know much about him I must confess... he may be a good player but I am not impressed with anyone that has a cheating mentality and he showed that he does in this game.

    ReplyDelete
  151. Bloody hell, they are really looking ragged now... this scoreline could reach double figures and end the Aussies WC for 2010.

    ReplyDelete
  152. German coach decides to go easy on Aus now by bringing on Gomez

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  153. Robbo, great blog. Bet you have been quaffing champagne all day in the Burj Al-Arab? Hope you arent blowing all that money you got given after finding those pictures of Mcnulty with the sports editor.

    My overriding feeling after watching last night was our lack of collective desire to get the ball back. We amble about like its a bleeding friendly. Cant be arsed to go on about the green mistake.

    2nd half was better but our 2 best chances fell to players who arent known for goal scoring and thats where i feel we are lacking. Gerrard, Rooney, Lampard and....erm.....Johnson...er...nope there isnt anyone unless we bring them on as sub.

    SWP and Heskey both looked like they shat themselves when they got their chances. Both hit straight at the keeper.

    Rod, I dont think we are arrogant. I think we are hopeful but our press are something else. They blow everything out of proportion. Any decent player is labelled world class even before they have done anything against decent opposition. The english are generally just optimistic. Me, i see us as somewhere around our ranking, which means Par is making the quarters.

    USA did have a couple of half chances first half and apart from the green save from altidore in the second they didnt really threaten. We actually played ok second half.

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  154. Anyone else thinking that the referees are really strict in this world cup?

    It seems that any sort of foul in midfield or forward is risking a yellow. I though Carragher was gonna go last night.

    The only thing i am probably a bit bias about is how the americans could cynically foul rooney when he turned them but i think only one of them got a yellow. The referee tonight would have sent one of them off.

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  155. another player booked for diving... I hope the ref's keep it up through the competition.. Rod, because a lot of players do it, doesn't mean I have to like it... it's a part of the game that makes it not such a beautiful game.

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  156. I cant see the Aussies coming back from this result.. they need to make a bigger improvement than England do... there are a couple of players to come into the team that have been carrying knocks... even so this result would have done their confidence no good at all.

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  157. I think we were watching the same game last night Scholesy... pretty much how I saw it... Not sure, with the players to come in, how we can improve enough to go any further than the last 16 though.

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  158. Bo, EVERYBODY dives. Some just do it more than others, or get caught more often.

    ReplyDelete
  159. Lets hope if ingland HAVE to qualify from their group, they do it as runners up and meet Gemany next round! That should shut the press up as let us ABE's enjoy the WC

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  160. Like said Rod, because it is so doesn't mean I have to like it... and I don't believe everybody dives... there are a fair portion of them that do... but a lot of players play the game as it should be played.

    ReplyDelete
  161. bo, i think you are right mate. Think they might nick a draw somewhere. I didnt really think Ghana were that much, in fact i thought serbia were slightly the better team.

    Germans look good though. Their passing and moving was excellent. Think we still try and do everything at 100mph like a bleeding pinball whereas the germans just seem to be in control.

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  162. The Germans looked good tonight Scholesy but they were helped by a poor performance from the Aussies... there again you could say that the germans made the aussies look bad I guess.

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  163. Bo, think you dont need to worry about Özil coming to Arsenal.

    With a performance like that, we wont be able to afford him.

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  164. Bo, name me one player who hasn't taken a dive.

    ReplyDelete
  165. I believe United are after him Spit... he'll be more suited there.

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  166. yeah they always are a bit of both when its one sided.

    I must say spit after speaking to you about ozil last week, i put him in my dream teams. Thought he was great.

    ReplyDelete
  167. Give me a break Rod... 4.40 am here and you want me to think... ask me this afternoon (oz time) mate.

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  168. ha ha bo, has he chased a referee and shouted in his face yet? no? then perhaps he isnt up to it for us.... :-)

    ReplyDelete
  169. not yet that I know of Scholesy... but he was booked for diving tonight :)

    ReplyDelete
  170. STGP,

    thing is, I like the looks of the German front 6. BUT, they will come undone when faced with a sterner test than the Oz.

    The keeper played his 6th game today and the three of them now have 11 internationals against them.

    The Midfield of Özil, Khadeira and Schweinsteiger has great potential but the lack of experience will be their undoing.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Schweinsteiger has experience Spit... not the other two... and he is the man that holds it all together in midfield.

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  172. fair comment spit, will bow to your knowledge of em. I only know the old names.

    England players should look at Schweinsteiger. He was more of a winger before (correct me if im wrong spit) but to change to a centre midfield playmaker with the discipline required for being the holding midfielder and do it so well when we have trouble with gerrard and lampard holding position.

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  173. Spit.

    The "lack of experience" in the German team may just work to their advantage, they were fearless going forward today and looked good in the midfield, although admitedly were not really tested at the back.

    ReplyDelete
  174. STGP,

    you are right on Schweinsteiger. He is indeed more a left winger than central Mid, but the absence of Ballack and Podolski playing on left wing, means, he has to drop back alongside Khadeira to support in defensive duties. Özil playing in front of both.

    There are more than one player out there playing out of their preferred positions but they some how make it work.

    Podolski and Klose scored 3 goals each in the whole of club campaigns (2 each in the league, 1 in cups) but you wouldnt know it from how they were bombing forward tonight.

    They werent really tested but the Aussies sis have some glimpse of goals only for their inferior finishing letting them down. Better oppositions will not allow such luxuries.

    Cue the Germans playing it down as opposed to you know who.

    I still dont think they'll go all the way but will entertain for its the only way to gloss over the defensive frailties.

    2014 however, the world is in for some battering with 16 of the current squad in their early 20s.

    Dont you just hate them for how each of their generation can boast of a WourldCup trophy?

    Typical Germans.

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  175. It doesn't need to be said but the Germans are always there or there abouts... no matter what team they have out.

    ReplyDelete
  176. would love our so called top fa coaches go and look at what the top nations do with their systems and their coaching so that we change, but most probably we will just keep thinking our way is best.

    i just hope futebol de salao influences our future generations.

    ReplyDelete
  177. He's one of the greatest cricketer's ever born Rod.

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  178. Come back Bert Williams!!!

    You underestimate the USA at your peril and I think that is exactly what England did.
    We scored an early goal and decided it would be easy thereafter. A draw is not a disaster and there were moments when we played very good football and showed what we are capable of.
    Sadly those moments were few and far between and frankly begged the question why was Joe Cole left out?
    Germany looked good but I thought they were flattered by a very poor Australian performance.

    ReplyDelete
  179. At least Preach, Green's mistake is one the yanks wont be complaining about.

    ReplyDelete
  180. that got buggered up well and truly... should have read... Green's mistke is one spill the yanks wont be complaining about... too late now.

    ReplyDelete
  181. I see Green's new nickname is "Hand's of Clod"

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  182. Calamity James and Hands of Clod... not exactly inspiring names for our keepers.

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  183. The Chuckle Brothers?

    No laughing matter!

    ReplyDelete
  184. I think your selection (Hart) will have to take over H2... he maybe inexperienced but he looks a safer bet than the other two.

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  185. Curly and Mo Spit... all we need is Hart to make a clanger and he can be Larry.

    ReplyDelete
  186. Anybahn good people.

    Play nice and remember, Everything improves with women around - including men.

    ReplyDelete
  187. Well Bo, a manager who shall be nameless has publicly claimed Hart to be England's best keeper, so why not?

    ReplyDelete