Friday, 11 June 2010

Greetings from Dubai!!!


Well you know what?

It's finally here. And guess where I am?

Tony Thompson's got hold of some late deal plus a free apartment next to one of the seventeen thousand building sites out here - and me and the lads have taken the Championship football route for a few days away and we're in.... Dubai!

Seems strange not to be standing outside the Blue Bell spilling lager down me shirt as I try to get me flaming lighter to work, but I'm sure I'll manage somehow.

Now I'm sure you'll all be reckoning that I've joined the jet-set now - and I can't think of owt more likely to undermine my working-class credentials - but the wife's really grateful. She can bang on about Nadal's physique for a week and a bit and I can have a right laugh at Tony as his glasses steam up every time he steps out the house.

So I won't have to have the usual World Cup conversation:

Wife: Not more football!
Me: Yes, love. It's the World Cup.
Wife: Who's playing?
Me: North Korea v Ivory Coast
Wife: Why d'you want to watch that?
Me: It's the World Cup.
Wife: Is that your answer to everything

PAUSE.

Me: IT'S THE WORLD CUP!(Oooooo! Get in there Mun In Guk!)

Tony managed to get red raw sunburn during his first hour out here - he's paler than Andres Iniesta so he'd need a 200 tog duvet to prevent skin damage, the dozy tool.

Any road, we're all set for Mex v Bafana Bafana in some poncey bar or other. There are enough pink and boozy ex-pats here to convince you that you could be in a boiling hot Benidorm.

Our host tells us that there are 8000 cabin crew living in Dubai. Last night was like watching that God-awful cheesy Virgin ad where togged-up totty catwalk through an airport terminal.

Plus, he tells us, a third of the world's cranes are in Dubai. The streets are paved with sweating Indian subcontinental workers slaving away in 45C heat. And not a Nissan hut in sight. Apparently they're allowed to down tools if the temp hits 50. That's big of them.

It's not all fun and games. It's so bloody hot when you step out of the apartment it's like walking into a very warm sponge-cake. And the price of a beer is steeper than Scott Carson's learning curve, but I hear it's pissing it down in England so I'm not complaining.

Gerrard's making all the right noises about becoming skipper - 'a great honour... them army lads put our job into perspective... Wazza's going to be great, etc.' - but to be honest it shouldn't matter who the captain is.


Shrek 4 - Ogre and Out

I do wonder whether Rooney might take the armband as it might give him that extra edge of self-discipline. Fact is that this permanent apolgia for his temperament - 'Wayne wouldn't be the same player without his aggression' - is a load of bollocks.

If Rooney loses it, it means he's stopped being a good player. He can't channel his aggression usefully at all. Perhaps Stevie will remind him of all the privates in Afghanistan who are supporting him before he treads on those of an opposition centre-back.

If Rooney stays calm, Gerrard finds his game and Ledley stays fit, there's a chance this team could make a good fist of this tournament. I just worry about the USA. No one's taking them seriously but there are in the top 15 in the world, they beat Spain, and Obama's wished them well.

And cos they're playing us I think they might all be looking at this as a chance to raise the profile of a game that the Yanks dismiss as the sporting equivalent of girls playing with their dollies.

Plus I don't care how often their coach says we won't be winding up Wazza. Course they bloody will. Wayne will get more whacks, winks and wallops than a FAI president in a Chelsea basement.

But here's Capello's team for the morra:

Green; Johnson, Terry, King, A.Cole; Lennon, Lampard, Gerrard, J.Cole; Heskey, Rooney.

My best guess.

Now, off to find a telly and some factor 375 sun cream for poor sore Tony.

284 comments:

  1. 1st) Dubai and farewell...... etc

    How long (in minutes) till Rooney gets sent off?

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  2. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO robbed again

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  3. Try the Boston Bar at Rotana Jumeirah, apparently that is where the Curmudgeonly Old Gits will be!

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  4. Bloody hell Robbo, yer traveling about a bit aren't ya.. Italy last week, Dubai this week... a regular globe trotter.... Dubai may have a third of the world's cranes... China have the rest, the chinese skyline resembles texas oilfields more than a city skyscape... and I doubt Rooney will see out the group matches without seeing red.

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  5. Enjoy the Dubai vacation Robbo!

    Stevie G to score a brace against Yanks. You heard it first here!

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  6. I agree with your lineup but I reckon Crouch may get a game - I prefer him to Heskey but Capello sees something in Heskey most of us don't.

    Can't wait for tomorrow's game!

    Sports Reports Online

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  7. we may have heard it first here SS... I doubt we'll see it on any TV set though.... I doubt he'll score two goals in the tournament.

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  8. Heskey does a great job up front in allowing our forward line to function.I realise I'm in a group of 2 on here about this(me and tone)but there we are.

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  9. Ive jst left a few funny posts on the previous blog lads - really good they were - honest - ok maybe not - right now to read Robbo's post!!

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  10. Vick, Rupert Rob and Aaron - where've ya been - this must be a good blog - 4 new lads!!! Welcome - and keep in touch :)

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  11. I feel for Tony - my specs steam up when I go IN doors. The other way round must be confusing.

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  12. Cheers Aaron - as in Air on a G-string - which is more or less what I saw a lot of as I walked along the beachfront this morning. I say walked. I staggered more like. Still at least I've found this new and wonderful drink while I've been here. It's called 'water'.

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  13. Blimey Robbo, take off the BBC ankle bracelet and fly old son. Next you'll be telling us that you've scored tickets for the final! Good luck.

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  14. Trots I'll have to get this monetising thing sorted pdq or I'm going to be getting me booze from Aldi and eating lentil stew. But that's for another day.

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  15. Go and see a book agent while you're there and get a couple o' million advance!

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  16. After all the waiting and anticipation it's finally here.......Nice blog Robbo!

    Oh yeah, the footy starts in a bit too.

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  17. It's all a bit strange, all the negativity around the England team seems a good thing. I think its a good psycology (our american friends may think differently), but we have tried all that positive stuff and keep getting bit on the arse. Best to fear the worst and edge your bets. I do have a feeling though that an England player might just step up to the plate.....ala Linekeresque........you heard it here.....maybe lennon...or cole....or.....

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  18. I agree Most R.
    England always get bigged up in the media beyond any realistic expectations.
    Maybe it's better that all are playing it down this time around.
    Pessimism beats optimism everyday of the week in my book, expect the worse and then anything that good happens is always a bonus. :)

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  19. H2H
    Even with my pessimistic optimism. I still worry about the USA game. They beat Spain and had had Brazil on the ropes in recent times. A lot of the England team are overpaid and over hyped, some of them believe it (not all of them to be fair). I do feel though England have a chance to go far though, not because their that good but because the other teams (traditional favourites) are not as strong as before.......................innit

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  20. As you said Most R, if we win the group we should be well sorted, the yank game is the biggy, a draw wouldn't be the end of the world, but beating the other opposition by a better margin then the US would then become a must.

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  21. Robbo: you ever going to do another podcast again? Being an American, I miss the cracks you made about fat Americans with Andy Smart.

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  22. Your right H2h
    I'm really worried about a second round game against Germany. It's an odd one to call because Germany could come second in their group and if England win theirs and vice versa.............no one wants to play Germany in tournament mode

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  23. true true - bring on the footie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  24. Bet placed, telly on (not in pub - father duties later) - going for 2 1 to SA....

    Mostly - I noticed that possibility - gulp (our luck must change sometime)

    I did read somewhere that only two of the finalist have beaten England more times than vice versa - one is Brazil and the other is NOT Germany its --- any guesses?

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  25. HI jesse,
    methinks a few (maybe ten) fat Americans could possibly sit on that oil spill BP thing that we don't have anything to do with by the way! and with regard to the crack:-
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mB1f2x4NNSc

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  26. I'm going for a 3-1 victory for Mexico with Hernandez getting 2 of them

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  27. FBH I would say the answer to that question is either Australia or Argentina

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  28. Jesse. New podcasts will be done sometime late June I hope. Glad you're liking it. Till then more dozy bloggery

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  29. A more difficult question is what is the only British team to have a positive win-loss ratio against Manchester United

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  30. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  31. Look at all that yellow and geen in that stadium.
    That bloody Red Knights campaign in full swing in S.A.

    Here we go......

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  32. again? Still at it? All you doom and gloom merchants, shut up with the pessimism, throw your negativity out the window, stop worrying and enjoy it all, your team is about to create what will become one of the greatest, proudest memories of our lives....ENGLAND WILL WIN THE WORLD CUP!

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  33. chat to you later, I have to go and see a psychiatrist, think they mixed up my medications again.

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  34. "your team is about to create what will become one of the greatest, proudest memories of our lives....ENGLAND WILL WIN THE WORLD CUP!"
    ----
    Trott if England win the WC I'll be so paraletic that I won't be able to remember my own name, let alone the victorious final match.

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  35. Those horns are a tad annoying though?

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  36. Robbo, I'm outraged so that's where all our BBC licenses fees went, paying your exhorbitant wages just so you can go jet-setting off on holiday to Italy and Dubai the minute you leave the Beeb. Actually rather jealous as have always fancied going to Dubai, either one of those palces that is amazing or a bit naff - so which is it?

    Yea, World Cup has started, so some football after what seems like days since FA Cup.

    Fingers crossed for us tomorrow and

    GO PARAGUAY

    (Anyone have any news on RBA jnrs arrival into the world? and a hello to everyone in general!)

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  37. mostly redundant said...
    Those horns are a tad annoying though?
    -----
    Mostly!!!

    Blue's, we haven't heard anything yet mate.

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  38. THis world cup is brilliant!!! Loving it!!!

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  39. Live footy - big games - lots of differnt players - some shocks to come - and maybe Boro might sign a player or two???

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  40. The Vulazelas arent as annoying as I thought they would be - free kick to SA!!! Come on SA!!

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  41. How are you enjoying pub life H2H? Though think, you have run bar/pub before?

    Used to run one with my husband - have to say SO pleased when we left ...

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  42. Whats that fbh mate?

    Spanish algabra?

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  43. Pub life's great Blue's.

    I had a lounge/cocktail bar before, but this one is more like a pub and I live upstairs in it. Cushty!

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  44. Geovani = Dos Santos????
    ----------
    Joseph = Two Saints

    Or something similar.

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  45. Signing out, punters in the Dungheap.

    Laterz.

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  46. SA look well outclassed by Mexico, I don't see them going much further? maybe nerves?

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  47. what happened?

    Am in office and while I can egt away with being on here, watching a match (other than England) I think would be frowned upob.

    Hope SA scored?

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  48. I think Mexico were unlucky not to be ahead though - why hasn't he brought Hernandez on?

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  49. 1 down 47 to go

    Fair play to SA, good point

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  50. Final score 1 1 - my £1 bet on 2 1 eh - silly me - good game tho

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  51. not quite humdinger as described by Chiles, biggin himself up, twat

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  52. What a freakin goal that was from SAFfer's Mr. Shipperlywithaleftfoot!

    I was hoping for a African win; althoguh a great start to the tournament.

    Who's next? - Legs vs Hands :)

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  53. hmmm previous blog is stuck on 499, nobody wants a curse at a time like this! Robbo, as captain, maybe you should take it.

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  54. this one is stuck on 64.....ah no . . . . 65 now

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  55. Both teams dont look like they are going to score a goal...

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  56. This is brilliant stuff, great play France.

    Anyone else think Ireland would have scored at least one by now?

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  57. Followingborohurts said...
    Geovani = Dos Santos????

    Indeed, Ipswich's very own!

    (Fuck Tottenham, damn Premiership keep nicking our decent players.)

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  58. Now comes the only inform French player... Florent Malouda...


    Forlan should have scored already...

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  59. Boohoo! 2 draw games... :-X

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  60. It's not all bad SS11. I got 9/1 on two draws today so I'm happy.

    Oh and evening all.

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  61. Nice blog Robbo,

    Duabi, eh?

    But after a week with the inlaws, who could blame you for getting yourself a break with the world cup.




    DUBAI TOP TIP: the air hostesses are willing to board on short notice.

    DUBAI TOP TIP 2: get yourself sorted with some nice Camel Shwarma/burger.

    DUBAI TOP TIP 3: Dont, whatever you do, go for the desert safari in this mental heat.

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  62. Spit - top tips. Me lass will hopefully not be reading....
    Amazing day - no signal from our groovy resort tellies so we missed almost all the first half. Pretty jolly second half though, followed by the dire Uru v Fra tedium, not a moment lost, sadly!
    Ribery... over-rated numpty or what?

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  63. Lovely moment when Henry was pleading for a handball. Karma

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  64. Robbo,

    has your missus not lernt her lesson in the 9 years you've been blogging that this is not the place for a lass to be spending her time?


    forget Henry pleading for handball, is their manager the biggest waste of space or what?

    Why the hell did he leave Malouda out of his starting 11?

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  65. G'day all... the only knowledge I have gained from the first two games is that I shall be watching all future games without sound... those bloody vevuzela's get inside my head and make me wanna go out and kill something.... preferably someone blowing a vevuzela.

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  66. Not sure Spit, but I understand Malouda and the Manager had an altercation before the match at some point and he was dropped to the bench.

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  67. I enjoyed the SA Mexico game but the france uruguay match (which I watched a replay of) sent me to sleep.. I think we are going to see much of this sort of thing, especially in the first round.

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  68. I suppose we shouldn't be surprised Bo, France and Uruguay haven't scored against each other for 25 years.

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  69. Evenin' / Monrin' Preach/Bo,

    Re Malouda:

    I heard the rumour of an altercation too. Also, there was some trouble to do with Domenech's decision to drop Henry to the bench. Gallas refused to speak because he wasnt happy with Evra being made captain.

    surely, from a neutrals perspective, france shall progress but I say good riddance. One less team to worry about.

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  70. The rumour I heard was from a french group seated next to mine in the beergarten.

    Listening to their 'views' made me feel all good inside.

    The BNP has got naught on the snobby Frenchmen. Their attitude towards all the players of black, arab or muslim backgrounds is thankfully not considered normal in England anymore.

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  71. Any night, good people, i must leave you to it.

    Must tend to something really important.

    Laterz.

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  72. Oh, and I forgot,

    COME ON ENGLAND!!!!!!!

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  73. I thought the opening ceremony was bloody pathetic... I don't usually watch the opening ceremony at any sporting event... but those I have seen in the past made this one look like a sunday concert in the park.

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  74. 'ello Night Owls, has Wenger registered a complaint with the Uruguyan FA about that tackle on his braided full back?

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  75. I got the distinct impression that with a few honorable exceptions the French team didn't care whether it played or not. If that is the case and there is real trouble in the camp then I can't see the attitude changing.
    I for one will not be displeased should France fail to qualify from the group stages.

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  76. I'm with you on that one Preach.

    Are there any Nottm. Forest players in the WC? (apart from those taking a leak etc).

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  77. Preach, my pre-tournament prediction was that france would not go beyond the group stages.

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  78. Less than 24 hours before england take to the field... I am predicting a 3-1 win to them... maybe even 3-0.

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  79. Sadly no. None of them got past the qualifying rounds. Perhaps that says something about why we missed out on promotion!

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  80. Preach, Danny Shittu is there and he didn't get out of our reserve team this year! Good news though, Elmander isn't there, maybe y9ou have some Swedes on your team?

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  81. Bearing in mind what happened in 1950 I will be very happy to settle for a single goal in England's favour.

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  82. Afraid not, only turnips and carrots.

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  83. I realise that this is not football related guys... just felt the need to share it.

    I imagine there will be a few civil rights groups in this country out protesting in the next few weeks after this hits the major media outlets.

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  84. I think both teams have improved some since 1950 preach... certainly hope the england team have anyway... I know you cant take much notice of friendlies but I watched the Australia US friendly the other day and although the yanks won 3-1, they did little to impress... just happened to be on target whereas Australia squandered a few chances.

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  85. will you be out protesting Bo? Back to carrier pigeons soon.

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  86. Trott, my protesting days are behind me... the fire in the belly is barely a spark.... but I may write something on my blog about it... my only form of protest nowadays.

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  87. last week italy, this week dubai, next week robbo picks up his range rover.......middle class i tells you.

    I have loved today (well i suppose its yesterday now). Our office internet connection working its arse off with everyone either streaming the first game or just trying to find the score.

    Watched tonights game and thought after 10 mins that uruguay were going to get smashed, but they dug in and i think 0-0 was a fair result.

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  88. Bo, rightly so too and there I must leave it.



    Shalom

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  89. Bye preach... sleep well mate.

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  90. evening bo, trott

    re: the ISP story, i would have thought someone will find a way round it and the people who the governments are after will still get away with it. There are already ways (i have heard) of masking your ip address etc. I always think there are clever people on both sides and that battle over illegal downloading etc will be there for ever*.

    *Please note in IT "ever" = 18 months

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  91. You can mask your IP address scholesy... but your ISP hold the actual IP address and you cannot disguise it from them... they know exactly where you go on the internet and what you receive by email.

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  92. Scholesy, it's easy though innit, don't do owt illegal and you're safe. Problem is for us, when the Beeb has a word with the government they might try and silence Robbo, censored for humour beyond acceptable levels.

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  93. you thought Big Brother was bad, wait 'til Big Auntie has you by the balls!

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  94. My ISP had been in a legal battle with the film industry for a number of months (my ISP company on out). The film group wanted my ISP to hand over all records of their users that had downloaded pirated movies and tv series... as I said my ISP won the day on that... but this new law they are trying to bring in goes way beyond that... this will give them the right to view all your browsing history and all your emails over the past ten years.

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  95. Trott... it is always the case that the majority that abide by the law have to have restrictions placed on them because of the few that wish to break the law.

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  96. yeah i suppose the final connection is with your ISP whatever you do, so they will know. I think they are after the people who download loads of films etc and then make money off of it.

    I wouldnt have to time to do it even i was that way inclined.

    yeah trott i know what you mean. A bloke i know got a letter from his ISP about it, cause he had downloaded loads of episodes of lost, and he backed off from it all, so i suppose it works.

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  97. i had better scroe some points tomorrow. didnt have 1 player playing today.....im suspecting that spreading the players round the different teams is probably a better tactic.

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  98. I forgot about the WC ffl Scholesy.. I need to go check on that.

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  99. right fellas, im offski. in your words bo, type to you laters.

    Come on England!

    Hope you enjoy it tomorrow lads

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  100. OK.. I scored a grand total of 14 points on the first day... that was for Malouda's 10 minutes on the pitch.

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  101. 14 points Bo for ten minutes? must be a high scoring league!

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  102. it is Trott... you get points if you are caught on camera picking your nose.

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  103. Robbo and any other poster on here you HAVE to watch this..it will make you piss your pants!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euXQbZDwV0w

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  104. Phil Jagielka becomes the latest in a long list of players that Wenger is rumoured to be interested in signing.

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  105. I got the biggest laugh at the juxtaposition of the following video titled "Free Food At McDonalds".

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  106. lol eat da poo poo - the man licks the aanus like ice cream - lmaooooooooooo people u have to see this vid!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euXQbZDwV0w

    best speech ever! even robbo would struggle to come up with something this funny!!

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  107. MBP ok, that's it, you're the first name of my black listed links suppliers. Bo you're right, the McDonalds clip was a corker!

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  108. hang on robbo..ur in Dubai..bring back cigs...fill a suitcase.. ;)

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  109. 4 years of waiting and 10 minutes before kick off... a power cut in Koh Phangan. That'll fucking teach me.

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  110. We had no signal in Dubai for most of the first half save for the odd thirty seconds. Summat to do with the Al Jazeera satellite, they tell me. Eventually got 2nd half of SA-Mex - lively stuff - and they had to keep waking us up during Uru-Fra.
    MBP - Don't you just love unreconstructed Christianity?

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  111. Agree re Domenech. Always looks to me like some prissy hissy music teacher to me. And with no Zidane knitting the side together they look bloody ordinary.

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  112. G'day all... No sympathy guys... you knew the WC was coming and you planned to be away from home.

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  113. Saturday looks to be promising! Argies take on Nigers (Messi, Tevez, Higuain 2 each). English Heroes vs the American Yanks will be a high scoring draw. Go Messi & Rooney :)

    G'Day to all!!!

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  114. I scored 82 points in the WC FFL. Anybody know how transfers work here - it says I have 20 left.
    Is it for the group stages or for the entire tournament?

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  115. Met a Yank yesterday - didn't get my sense of humour but still smiled using his perfect teeth.
    Let's hope that you cant see any teeth by 9.30 tonight - and you can see all of mine in their yellow glory

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  116. You will either see no teeth or no nails.
    It will be that tense...

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  117. No way guys... 3-1 to england... and rooney wont score.

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  118. Mooning.

    was gonna watch the game at an american friend's place but the wife is feeling the effects of walking around all day in this heat, 'shopping' and the evening spent at the beergarten. Staying in today to watch the game.

    Blessing in disguise?

    (She'll be ok. I think.)

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  119. What's going on here... Saturday morning and nobody around.

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  120. G'day Col... it's all good here mate... where have you been lately, haven't seen you around much.

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  121. Was working offshore for a couple of weeks and then spent 5 days in hospital. Someone left a hatch open on the boat that should've been closed and I fell down it.

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  122. Bloody hell... did you break anything?

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  123. Well starting from the bottom and working up......

    2 broken bones in left foot
    Broken left ankle
    3 broken fingers on left hand
    Broken left wrist
    Broken left arm
    4 broken ribs
    Collapsed lung and
    two chipped vertebrae

    But apart from that I'm ok and it's a brilliant excuse to lay on the sofa and watch the world cup. Even the france v uraguay match was good through a morphine haze.

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  124. Oh and a concussion and 24 stitches.

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  125. Damn Colch!

    I have seen people do some messed up shiieeet to get out of work to watch footy but you have made sure you'll be sitting on your ass being served refreshments from the opening to the closing ceremony.


    Hope you get batter.

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  126. Shit mate... sounds like you are lucky to still be with us... but if it had to happen, the timing was brilliant... you sure it wasn't planned.

    I wish I had had a dose of morphine before watching the france game... it was a bloody terrible game to sit through.

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  127. When I say batter, I meant better.

    Dont think you need some battering in your current condition.


    Get well soon.

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  128. Bloody Nora, Colch. I might get me some of that morphine the next time Uruguay play, mind. Rest up, son.

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  129. The worst part of it was that i didn't have the concussion until they were lifting me out on the stretcher and hit my head on bulkhead.

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  130. The oil rig you was on Col... wasn't in a BP field was it?

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  131. On a positive note i did get a 9/1 double on two draws yesterday. Have also got a 16600/1 forecast on 1st and 2nd in each group so fingers crosed.

    Todays predictions are South Korea v Greece draw. Argentina to beat Nigeria and both those results in a treble with and England win and an England draw.

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  132. Colch, I imagine your left hand must be in some plaster or summat, which begs the question, how do you manage to keep both the beer and the TV remote in your control?

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  133. I was on a boat not a rig. But no not a BP job.

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  134. Hope you didn't put france in your forecast Col.

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  135. Hide the remote down the back of the sofa and have a cold box with beers on my right side. In the words of Alexander....Simples!

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  136. I bet your right hand gets sore mate,... doing everything with it like.

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  137. 1st - England 2nd - USA @ 6/4
    1st - Holland 2nd - Denmark @ 12/5
    1st - Brazil 2nd - Portugal @ 13/8
    1st - Spain 2nd - Chile @ 11/10
    1st - Germany 2nd - Serbia @ 11/4
    1st - Argentina 2nd - Nigeria @ 2/1
    1st - Paraguay 2nd - Italy @ 7/2
    1st - Uruguay 2nd - France @ 6/1

    This is the latest one. Also got a couple of variations on it. 4 bets at 25p each. £4k if any of them come in for a £1 outlay.

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  138. OK Col... What are the odds of Uruguay Mexico going through?

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  139. I have to go for a while guys... type to ya later.

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  140. 11/1 for Uraguay from Mexico and the same for the other way round.

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  141. mornin' Lads,

    Colch, sorry to hear that injury report but you might be on to something with your morphine induced betting selections. Good luck with everything.

    TommyB, sorry we missed you there.

    Hope we all have a great day! COME ON ENGLAND

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  142. Nice goal SKo.

    the central defender putting several high paid strikers to shame.

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  143. An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has Been living with for the last 40 years.

    The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words That were used to put the curse on you.'

    The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'

    ReplyDelete
  144. hello you england followers.

    brief visit.

    well I am not impressed at all! what idiot decided to give out them Horns to the crowds? that has put a real downer on trying to watch the game/s so much so I HAVE SWITCHED OF!

    it seems i have not mised much 2 games? 2 boreing draws nothing new there then. as most of you will know i wont be watching any england matches. i did however sign the book of condolences in Morrisons! i put " losers " and " anyone but england "

    nice to enter into the spirit of the tournament i felt.

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  145. Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and Family values.

    Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'

    Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'

    ReplyDelete
  146. DG3, how are you? Can you post the BBQ rules again please? I have to attend one tomorrow and thought it would be useful if everybody was aware of how things should be!

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  147. Good start from SKo, tho thought the gk could have come outr for the cross. I'm sure George Clooney would have done that

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  148. Got up ealier this morning, sorted myself out, switched on TV, bloody trooping the colour, switched over to the german channels, bloody hell, it was on there as well.
    They love our traditions

    tonights the night, will be celebrating Engs v USA win with German friends

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  149. Hello Trotter hope you are well. as requested;

    BBQ RULES We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
    Routine...
    (1) The woman buys the food.
    (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert ..
    (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
    (4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.


    Here comes the important part:
    (5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
    More routine...
    (6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
    (7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat
    Important again:
    (8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
    More routine...
    (9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
    (10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.


    And most important of all:
    (11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
    (12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women

    pS: i should confirm I hope you guys enjoy the tournament and forgive my somewhat very un-patriotic stances its nothing personal.

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  150. Afternoon all.

    Good to have you back in one piece!? Colch, get well soon mate.

    Enjoyed the Mex v S.A game yesterday, although that disallowed goal was never offside. The less said about the FRa v Ura game the better.

    S Korea not looking too bad, should be two up by now.

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  151. FACT: by being persistent and using some KY-jelly, you too may shut up the bleating vuvuzella yielding noise contraption by shoving it up the holder's arse.

    SERIOUSLY!!! Enough already.

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  152. F**k me boys, I'm really not well

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  153. Well Rod, if you really aren't well, f**king is the last thing anyone should be doing you.

    Get well soon.

    ReplyDelete
  154. Was at a mates Wedding yesterday, and spent most of the day drinking Buckfast and Jagermeister.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Rod, they say you have to keep hard at it until you die, go to prison, get institutionalised or hit bottom, simple really!

    ReplyDelete
  156. A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my
    Intelligence come from?'

    The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, Cause I still have mine.'

    ReplyDelete
  157. Never been to prison or been institutionalised, so I guess Rock Bottom here I come!! Gonna have a wee snooze to replenish any sense of normality I've left.

    ReplyDelete
  158. that's the spirit, then bounce right back!

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  159. "On Wednesday, midfielder Joe Cole claimed the England squad would be quite pleased to see a couple of members of the media get attacked on a safari. On Friday it almost happened.
    A dozen scribes and photographers - some of them among the real glitterati - ventured onto the Plianesberg game reserve for spectacular safari.
    After spotting rhinos, lions, giraffes, zebras and hippos, the party came across an enormous bull elephant, who clearly was not that pleased to see them.
    After edging out of some shrubbery, the giant beast made a lunge for the tour wagon, getting within a couple of yards before the driver managed a get away.
    In the melee, one writer almost lost his woolly hat as he dived for cover."
    -------
    You would of thought vultures would of been safe on a safari.

    ReplyDelete
  160. i suppose Robbo is being BBQ'd in the heat of the Desert in Dubai, do you think thats his redundency money hes lavished out on a trip of a life time i never thought the BBC would pay that well. I note he's left his wife at home is this wise? afterall John Terry will soon be back and knowing his track record anyone with a decent set of piss flaps is in mortal danger.

    ReplyDelete
  161. 'ello H, was the elephant called Emile?

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  162. DG3,

    I believe Robbo stated that he's away for a week. Time enough for him to dash home safely well before his loved ones being at risk of getting terryorised.

    ReplyDelete
  163. is anyone able to explain why SKY are not showing the WC? I am so miffed! i was very much looking forward to Andy gray Guillit Souness etc giving thier views and opinions as from what I see they are the only ones worth listening to and at least its entertaining, i liked Sky's coverage of footy ITV is utter shite so I am left with the BBC only coz i dont have to sit through hours of silly adverts showing the poverty in SA.

    poor showing by ITV thats for sure, and poor WC if all we have to listen to is those feckin Horns! which by the way are piped through loud speakers! and defo spoil the matches I am not going to look forward to watching many of these games thats for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  164. Not sure Trott mate, but seeing that it "missed the target" they do have a lot in common.

    ReplyDelete
  165. hello Spitfire! hey do excuse me but i have had a few probs following these new blogs, hence my absence. I am also rather perplexed that i can now no longer comment on any BBC Blogs and give them some gentle stick, i am not sure if i have been banned. ohwell what the f*ck lol

    ReplyDelete
  166. surely all the press needed to do was make a trunk call and reverse the call...


    oucheeee

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  167. reverse the CHARGE....pfft

    daytime drinking is baaaad

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  168. right I am actually going to try and sit through a game. I am interested to see how the Messi performs on the world stage along with Trevez no adverts thank feck but them horns! hmmm

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  169. Dg3,

    like you I am left with a limited time to follow this blog and I have absolutely none to follow all its children. I am sure blog, rba, gaz, bo, ...... are all talented writers but I am afraid, if they want their stuff to be read, they have to post it here. I am sure if i can find time to comment, I will.

    ReplyDelete
  170. Maradona's on the box talking about fair play and how he hopes the referees keep within the spirit of fair play.

    What a hipocritical c-unit.

    ReplyDelete
  171. a bloke's got a fantastic money making idea; he's buying blank DVDs in bulk and selling them off as Uruguay v France highlights.

    ReplyDelete
  172. Yeah, read about maradona calling for fair play yesterday. Great laugh.

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  173. DG3... do what I do... turn the sound down or off during the match.

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  174. Spit, I'm away for a tad longer. Thought it was safe what with JT being in SA, but I guess his brother's stll in the country - that's if he's not taking a holiday in an entirely predictable location - like Dubai.

    ReplyDelete
  175. H2... the streaming site is no longer available... do you know of any others?

    ReplyDelete
  176. Spitfire said...

    agreed, its nice to know we have not lost contact with the main man, as for the others and their Blogs, i just aint got the time, ive checked out Adams and RBA's a few times and agree its all interesting stuff. I think I have checked yours out as well, but this Bloging lark is a tad time consuming.

    in truth I was mainly just a 606er dabbled with the McNulty but then happened upon the Robbo, took a look, and thought hmmm yes that will do for me, plain speaking, interesting stuff, and of course you guys made it as well! i miss it to be honest not sure if i fit into the sad catagory there, but it was great while it bloody lasted so now with limited time etc i just have to pop on here and hope to keep up.

    I do however feel the removal of Robbo and Charles etc from the beeb has put the final nail in the coffin of the alleged " fans " views and been replaced by booted and suited yuppys. oh well nevermind.

    I am now gonne get drunk and watch Argentina catch you all another time. :) be happy!

    ReplyDelete
  177. WHOO robbo watched the link i left..and to all of you that havent. shame on you. the great man himself watched it.

    this is what you are missing out on

    "he smears de poo poo all over the others face and as if that is not enough he puts the hand DEEPAAA!

    As africans we want to ask barack obama to explain to us is this want he wants to bring to africa? As a human right TO EAT DA POO POO OF OUR CHILDREN!"

    lmaoooo..


    now why is time goin so slow!! im bored of facebook and ive read this blog 3 times, ive gone on a youtube walk..so far ive ended up at some vid explaining How to Perform a Testicular Cancer Self Exam...props are two eggs in a clear bag being fondled by a lady 'dr'...ahh robbo robbo...legend.

    ReplyDelete
  178. Bo, sorry all my links were in the computer that was stolen, try iraqgoals. net, they usually have streams.

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  179. ohh hello BO!! sorry matey I will catch u another time gonna take my place on the Sofa and hopefully see a good game. sound down? hmmm no atmosphere at all then. reagards to Jacks when you see him.

    catch ya laters.

    ReplyDelete
  180. DavidGilmourThe3rd said...

    agreed, its nice to know we have not lost contact with the main man, as for the others and their Blogs, i just aint got the time, ive checked out Adams and RBA's a few times and agree its all interesting stuff. I think I have checked yours out as well, but this Bloging lark is a tad time consuming.

    _________

    erm, I dont have a blog.

    What 'mine' did you check out?

    ReplyDelete
  181. Let's see if Maradona can mess(i) this up.

    GO NIGERIA

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  182. I'm on the march with the gerians. Algeria and Nigeria but if the Argies get it together they could light it up today! Are the Nigerians permitted to use their hands?

    ReplyDelete