Friday 13 August 2010

We Have The Predictions You Need

Well the beggars and borrowers have shuffled out of the limelight now and it’s time for the big boys. Ooh lovely. The Carling Cup chucked up a few surprises but not Boro who now head off to that most welcoming of London retreats, the New Den. Can’t wait to get off that South Bermondsey platform – oh, it’s like stepping off a quaint little set on Thomas the Tank Engine.

Apparently this is Miss Millwall, but look at the state of the pitch!


And in the interest of balance here's a camp Mourinho-looky-likey

Anyway enough discussion of the lowly. It’s the Premier League, boys n girls! We got a taste of the usual suspects on Wednesday night as Capello’s ‘new look England’ incorporating so many flops the line-up resembled a clinic for erectile dysfunction.

Despite some necessary jeering, the fans were warm, civilised and strangely respectful, like the Members Stand at Lord’s in the 80s when the cricket selectors had sent out eleven new fluffy white-flannelled lambs to the slaughter.

There was a bit to be chipper about. Walcott did what we know he can – the shovel is ice-cold and the shit is red hot when he gets going – and I wonder why neither Wenger nor Capello hasn’t bunged him down the middle on occasion.

Adam Johnson did enough to prove he should’ve been ahead of Shaun Wright-Phillips in the queue for South Africa (for example he passed to a team-mate a few times). And his missing of a sitter reminded you that Emile Heskey wasn’t playing.

Gerrard, surprise, surprise, looked better in a central area. Lampard appears to have remained in some sort of non-executive role, like some recently retired politician at a merchant bank. Bench him for Chrissakes.

Other than that we had Capello doing a strange impression of Sven-Goran Eriksson, sitting tight, emotion barely flickering across his chops. At times I wondered if Madame Tussaud’s had sent a Fabio replacement.

And of course Capello is in hot water for telling everyone except the sainted Becks that his England career is over. We’ve discovered a lot that’s lacking in the England manager in the last few months and that was just bloody mean-spirited.

It’s not like it’s the wrong decision. David might sneak back into the side under an assumed name given that he currently flounces about as a weird mixture of Grizzly Adams and Rod Steiger in The Illustrated Man. But for God’s sake call the man first, Fabio. Maybe send James Corden along with some flowers...

'Come on Becks, pick yourself up son!'

Any road, I’m not expecting a marked improvement soon with England, although I do anticipate that the likes of Rooney, a man who currently looks less like one of the top five players in the world and more like a ravaged inmate of the Big Brother household, will return to form in the bosom of their adoring club support.

I don’t reckon on the Premier League serving up a feast of footy this season but it’s going to be a tight one, I reckon – and all the better for it. Here’s my reckoning.

ARSENAL
Given that Wenger’s held on to Fabregas like a drowning man clinging to a bit of driftwood, this could be a good year. Schwarzer, if he gets him, won’t let him down and a fit RVP will help. But if you build in the inevitable post-Christmas dip then... 4th.

ASTON VILLA
I picture an enraged O’Neill bouncing furiously out of Villa Park like an Ulster Yosemite Sam. Lerner’s post-resignation comments suggest that the ghost of Doug Short-Arms-Deep-Pockets Ellis has returned. A tricky season. 8th.

BIRMINGHAM CITY
I’m assuming McLeish has his eye on someone other than Zigic to beef up his squad although the Serbian will bring new dimensions to the phrase ‘a bit of a handful’. More like a ‘lorryload’. Can’t see them improving on last year though but. 12th

BLACKBURN ROVERS
Another season of clogging and humping and midfielders gazing like forlorn astronomers into the night sky. And Big Sam’s great gob keeping Wrigley’s in business. 11th.

BLACKPOOL
Jaunty Ian Holloway will be his usual engaging self. His team are doomed, I tell you. 20th.

BOLTON WANDERERS
Owen Coyle re-introduced his players to grass last season and they’ll improve this. My surprise team of the season. 9th.

CHELSEA
There’s lot of talk of kids being blooded this season. Not sure when. It’ll be the same old suspects and the return of Essien makes them look better already. The team to beat. 1st. (Yawn).

EVERTON
Moyes has managed to keep hold of his top players and Kenwright’s kept hold of Moyes. On the coat-tails of the Champs League but, like a Shaun Wright-Phillips dive, falling short. 7th.

FULHAMSparky wants to bring in Santa Cruz. That’s right, a good solid hard-working team really needs a gorgeous preening layabout up top. A struggle for them. 14th.

LIVERPOOL
Meanwhile Hodgson is looking good. The limbs of Torres are vital, and Coles Joe and Carlton (?) will help and if the club’s finances get sorted this could be a very good year. 3rd.

MANCHESTER CITY
The Abu-Dhabi billions tower over the Premier League like Canary Wharf lours over the estates of Tower Hamlets. Still there’s a lot of selfish fuckwits working in Canary Wharf and I reckon the same could be said of Citeh. Plus they’ve got a dud manager. 5th.

MANCHESTER UNITED
I dunno. If Rooney continues his wretched form, Rio’s back keeps creaking like a woodwormed wardrobe and Scholes and Giggsy can’t start their mobility scooters they could struggle – who am I trying to kid? 2nd.

NEWCASTLE UNITED
They rise again. We await the next chapter of the Gospel According to St.James. Toonites’ expectations are, for once, realistic. And getting round Sol will put a good mile on a strikers journey. 15th

STOKE CITY
Headguards on lads, it’s time for a Tony Pulis team-talk. They’ll keep plugging away. And get by. Still no one has quite worked out how to defend the Delapidator. 13th

SUNDERLAND
Haven’t got a clue how they’ll do. Don’t think Brucie has either. 9th or 17th. Let’s say 11th.

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR
Well, the nation’s favourite geezer – the friendly face of the Mitchells – has been associated with everyone from Stephen Ireland to Bobby the ball-playing bulldog but I reckon the Champs League – win or lose – is going to take it out of them. 6th.

WEST BROM
Well they’ll do better than Blackpool. 18th.

WEST HAM
The Gold n Sullivan generation. Keeping hold of Scottie, 20 million for Carlton, Becks is going to walk through the door any day... larvely... we won the World Cup, mate!... Sigh. 17th.

WIGAN
They should go down every year but never do. Somehow an array of Central American jugglers do enough for ‘em. Give or take the odd 9-1 pounding, they will survive. 16th.

WOLVES‘By ‘eck’as like. We’re right poor, us and nobbut middlin’ so owt we get’d be right good cos we’re nowt compared t’ Big boys.’ Cue the violins, Mick. 19th.

You see if I'm not right. May your teams prosper, entertain, and avoid too many Scottish purchases.

I do love the footy.

259 comments:

  1. Liverpool third? Thats a bold prediction Robbo!! Also you seem to have two 11th's (Blackburn and Sunderland). i think 4th is up for grabs, with Pool, Spurs and Citeh all challenging, would like to see Arsenal win the title but unless they beef up their midfield the best they can hope for is third.

    Up the shots!!

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  2. aye there robbo..lived and worked in canary wharf for a while meself..spot on about the selfish fuckwits (aka bankers). And thanks for putting the curse of robbo on Liverpool. Really hope you get it right this year.

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  3. The Tees Mouth said...
    All right lads. New blog up. OH and that goes for the lass too. Alright, pet?

    Cheers for asking Robbo - I WOULD be alright if you evened up the balance of semi-naked women with a picture of (ideally semi naked) Jose Mourhino, but can you please not post this for a couple of weeks as I will be away. Thank you



    PS Not sure I appreciate you putting the mockers on Chelseas season with your prediction

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  4. I think it will look like this:

    1. Manchester United
    2. Chelsea
    3. Arsenal
    4. Liverpool
    5. Manchester City
    6. Tottenham Hotspur
    7. Everton
    8. Aston Villa
    9. Sunderland
    10. Stoke City
    11. Fulham
    12. Birmingham City
    13. Blackburn Rovers
    14. Bolton Wanderers
    15. West Ham United
    16. Newcastle United
    17. Wigan
    18. West Bromich Albion
    19. Wolverhampton Wanderers
    20. Blackpool

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  5. I'd like to argue about those predos, but you got Spurs spot on last year Robbo.

    Mind, there is a defence to the Delapidator. Spurs stuck Crouch in at the edge of the box last year at the Britannia when Delap had a throw in and headed the ball away every time.

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  6. Yeh Mancini, triple title winner in Italy as a manager but a dud...get a grip.

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  7. You'll be safer with Robbo's predictions that McNulty's BLUEHELLSBELLS ... look what happened to the team McNulty tipped for the title last season ...

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  8. Good point Star but as I think both Robbo and McDulty have gone for Chelsea first, I think we may be playing Boro in Champiosnship next year!

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  9. Yes, Mancini has a good record. It's not him so much as the mercenaries he has to manage. Dare I say it only Mourinho thus far has managed to round up such a large set of egos successfully. He did nowt Citeh last year, Roberto. Of course it's possible that I just don't want the team that has outspent everyone else by about 5 to 1 to succeed. Politics of envy, eh?

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  10. Oh and BHB - I tipped Chelsea to win last year n all. McNewty is just jumping on the Robbo bandwagon.

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  11. There's no point in just mentioning Mourinhos name, a picture would help to refresh peoples memories

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  12. ahhhh, first I had a good look at Miss Millwall and then straight down the page to your Bolton prediction, to say I got a lump in my throat would be an understatement. Just not sure whether it was caused by Miss Millwall's top half or Bolton's.

    Man U win it all. Best player on Chelsea's bench now is Butch.

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  13. So it's Sunderland vs Blackburn for eleventh then. I think that'll be more interesting than the top half, minus Bolton

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  14. I think they'll both finish 11th, ok. Yes it'll be that tight! And BlueHellsBells look beneath Ms Millwall and there he is... clothed but in all his pouting glory.

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  15. Ah, now that Portuguese sod will want to take all the Glory from Miss Millwall. Ok by me, and apart from there being 2 position 11s, I think Spurs will hang on to position 4 and the Kop will fight it out with Citeh for 5th

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  16. Liverpool will win the league...

    United will finish 4th...

    Newcastle will finish in the top 9...

    Arsenal will finish a point behind chelsea who are behind liverpool on goal difference, thanks to a Joe Cole hat trick at stamford bridge...

    Blackpool will go down bottom on 13 points.

    villa and everton will both miss out on European football next year.

    Man City will buy all footballs in the country in late march to stop everyone but city practicing, this will secure them 5th.

    Spurs will be wound up and will become the HMRC sporting outfit: football, due to some creative acountancy...

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  17. And Aldershot will win the FA Cup, hey RBA.......

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  18. yep, more than likely.... us or uited.

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  19. I fink so, but that's if Liverpool win the league.

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  20. i usualy promote my crappy blog about now, but as a change i am promoting Charlsies, everone read it or i'll kill this puppy! (imagine me, with a puppy that is cute, and i have a hammer)

    http://www.football-league.co.uk/page/ChrisCharlesBlog/0,,10794~2121181,00.html

    ReplyDelete
  21. People who do read my blog...

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1302783/Childless-millionaire-builds-intelligent-robot-sings-Karaoke-laughs-tells-jokes.html

    I fucking told you so!

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  22. Manchester City have offered Barcelona striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic a four-year deal worth £96m - or roughly £500,000 a week.
    ------------------------------------------------

    Wow..thats all i can say. It must be fun to have money to throw around like that. IMHO, Ibrahimovic was never an A-lister a la Drogba, Rooney or Torres anyway. Half a million quid a week..phew.

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  23. What a brilliant blog Robbo

    Delapidator. Hahahahahyahahahahaha. Priceless. I can't stop chuckling. Seriously. I was sitting on the bus, eating me Frosties when I had to breathe in and breathe out at the same time(not as easy as it sounds). Heads turned thinking I was a mad Al Queda terrorwit.

    Ahhhhhh man. It's been a long time since I openly guffawed in public. Reading Catch 22 was the last time with the sighing episode and the bandaged man.

    You're wasted in the blogosphere Robbo. Compared with the turgid excrement that passes for a BBC footy flog, you're plucking James Ellroy(that for me is the ultimate compliment).

    As a caveat. Can I just say that the contributions of your regulars (except Rod(tool) the Fleece), are equally entertaining and hilarious.

    Keep up the good work one and all.

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  24. DCPF... Catch 22 also had me guffawing out loud like a buffon, i see robbo as the blog equivalent of Joseph Heller, and not just cos of the long wait between blogs either...

    laters.

    Shots vs Southend!

    3-1 - Morgan Little and small.

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  25. Good stuff Robbo, sir.
    ---
    Ruddy 'ell RBA, you was right mate. SNH5!!

    I'm gonna re-study the Woes to see what's comming up next.

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  26. Robbo said:

    I think they'll both finish 11th, ok. Yes it'll be that tight!

    Again, hahahahahahahahahahahaha. Robbo tells it like it is. If this was the Guardian and someone pointed this out then there would follow a 120,000 word diatribe about a neo-con, Israeli, CamClegg, Nick griffin, Mussolini, rupert murdoch inspired conspiracy against the author.

    Keep it real Robbo.

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  27. People...lets do the Top4- Bottom 3 predictions like Jay suggested shall we..sounds like fun..here's me then

    1. Arsenal
    2. Man U
    3. Liverpool
    4. Chelsea

    18. West Brom
    19. Wolves
    20. Blackpool

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  28. People.... lets NOT do top4- Bottom 3 predictions because it's so plucking boring and predictable(sorry AH, no offence mate).

    Lets do a How Long Can Joey Barton Last Without Twatting Someone Prediction.

    I'm going for 8 seconds.

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  29. Robbo - you're a gentleman (well I doubt that) but fair play for the photo, I'll jsut imagine the semi-nakedness!

    Enjoy the footy everyone, as I said am off on holiday tomorrow so catch up with the blog in fortnight

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  30. Bad news for Arsenal fans:

    Arsene Wenger set to sign new Arsenal deal.

    Ah well. Another 5 years without a trophy.

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  31. You haven't got the hang of this prediction lark have you really

    Here is teh forecast for 2010-11

    1 - Manchester United
    2 - Manchester City (gits(
    3 - Chelsea
    4 - Liverpool (pains me to say so)
    5 - Sunderland
    6- Arsenal
    7 - Birmingham City
    8 - Tottenham
    9 - Everton
    10 -Aston Villa
    11 - Stoke City
    12 - Newcastle United
    13 - Fulham
    14 - Bolton Wanderers
    15- West Ham United
    16- West Bromwich Albion
    17- Blackpool
    18- Blackburn Rovers
    19- Wolverhampton Wanderers
    20 - Wigan Athletic

    Becks for England Manager

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  32. RedBlueArmy92 said...
    DCPF... Catch 22 also had me guffawing out loud like a buffon, i see robbo as the blog equivalent of Joseph Heller, and not just cos of the long wait between blogs either...

    laters.

    Shots vs Southend!

    3-1 - Morgan Little and small.
    -----------

    wrong again - Southend will beat you

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  33. Surely thats Mick Jagger not Mourinho Robbo?

    actually.......MJ.......JM......you might be onto sumfin there. I can honestly say I have never seen them in the same room

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  34. Adam is talkin a lot of sense. Whats the record for the earliest date a team mathematically won the league? I'm guessing it was Chelsea under Mourinho, but I think United might break it this year for defs.

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  35. AnfieldHopeful said...

    FIRST!
    -------------

    Get in there son, cracking start to the season!! :)

    As for Top 4 - Bottom 3 here goes:

    1) Man U (hopefully I'm wrong)
    2) Chelsea
    3) Liverpool
    4) Arsenal

    18) Wigan
    19) West brom
    20) Blackpool

    As for the rest, I couldn't be arsed!
    Right I'm off to sort out my Fantasy team so back later.

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  36. Im surprised you gooners arent crowing about being top of the league.....

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  37. I wish Wenger would stop goin on about having a young side. A lot of their key players are in their prime now.

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  38. Jay said...
    AnfieldHopeful said...

    FIRST!
    -------------

    Get in there son, cracking start to the season!! :)

    -------------------------------------------
    Thats 2 blogs in a row for me now Jay. Sadly, it is the most I've achieved in life so far. Hopefully, also an omen for Liverpool's performance this season.

    As you say, Go Gerrard!

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  39. So long as the mighty Toon are clear of the drop with at least 3 weeks left I'l be a Happy Lil Weazel!

    Oh and hello again you lot, remember me? :P

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  40. 5 live sport special on Blackpool at the moment....hey , hey slow down you'll hurt your sen

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  41. Sorry Robbo, could'nt follow the caption for the Miss Millwall pic! I tried best to look at the grassy pitch, but the spent too much time focussing on the ball.

    Good blog anyways. Dunno why everyone's tipping Chelsea though.

    As for my predictions I am not repeating, you will find them here -
    http://suhasp-ss11.blogspot.com/2010/08/new-season-but-will-it-be-same-old.html

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  42. Scholesy, We have'nt seen anything yet really to talk about topping the league. We let in far too many goals in pre-season and thats the area Wenger needs to plug sooner than later.

    Adam - What makes you think we'll stoop so low to 6th? We might not win the league, coz your lot already has won it. But we deffo finish in Top 4.

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  43. bloody hell, work interfered a bit today. Nice to see Weazel and welcome out of the closet to the new ex-lurker(s).

    BHB, I'll see you at the airport at 11:30.

    Good luck to all your teams except when they play us.

    Right, let's see what RBA's bin up to.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Adampsb

    I salute you for not following every other obvious bollox prediction for the Pool to be bottom.

    Was it because I mentioned a few blogs ago that I had my hair cut once next to Neil Tennant's dad?

    I tell you what 'Big' club supporters at least Blackpool have a decent chairman and will be solvent for the next ten years. In or out of the Prem unlike most of your ...........flakey cotton wool thin glass candy floss tracing paper stuff

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  45. MR - the fact that most people are picking Blackpool to drop should please you. If our track record is anything to go by, they will be doing a Birmingham this season.

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  46. Balotelli's off to City


    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/m/man_city/8910570.stm

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  47. Well those predicting Blackpool to go down last year are still trying to wipe the egg off of their faces.

    Whatever happens, they'll go out and enjoy the season while the money coming in will set them in good stead for years to come, much like Burnley.

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  48. Baliteli (?) has signed for Citeh - he was hated even by his own supporters.

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  49. MR,
    I'm not into this "Big" club "Small" club business, every club is important to its supporters regardless of silverware, size, history etc.
    I chose your your team as relegation candidates because of looking at the Prem and who you'll have to play. I just think 17 of the other teams are better equipped. I'm no expert and I do hope you surprise us all. It's fantastic and refreshing to see Blackpool in the Prem, as was the case with Burnley last season.
    As Starfire says I hope you enjoy it. :)

    Easy, easy, easy... Go Shirley!

    From an "offal"pool supporter!

    ReplyDelete
  50. Nice one Robbo.
    Its good to see you trying to out McNulty,McDumpty,or is it McFawlty.
    The start of another season, so every one is entitled to his opinion or prediction,but the only thing that matters is who will be sitting on the top of the pile when the season ends.Frankly I find all these predictions amusing,when you consider the fact that the football season is not a hundred metre dash,but more of a marathon slug fest played in all kinds of conditions. Remember football is unpredictable and that is why it is so exciting.

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  51. Blackpool have about as much chance of staying up as I do of banging Miss Millwall. Similarly, half the fun is in the chase. Enjoy it MR, every minute and every surprise your lads turn up along the way, every Giant Killing or every game tying semi-shock, they all count.

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  52. hold on, I've just run that through the computer and Blackpool have a much better chance of staying up than the other scenario.

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  53. Trotts,
    Don't tell me, as in Little Britain...

    "Computer says Noooooooooo!"

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  54. the computer started laughing at me Jay

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  55. Lol Trotts, ditch that bitch and get yourself a new, slimmer, younger model mate! One that will appreciate your erm... erm... external hard drive.
    The South Korean models are good, and cheap too. You can look them up on that interweb thingy. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  56. Jay said...
    MR,
    I'm not into this "Big" club "Small" club business, every club is important to its supporters regardless of silverware, size, history etc.

    Agreed Jay - and I know no one on hear who wud disagree - except Rodders maybe - now then -where is Miss Milwall...

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  57. RE: my predictions...

    if there is one that's off the mark - apart from the unfeasible faith in Owen Coyle - it's Man U. I have the feeling - given Rooney's strop and Rio's back and the ageing maestros that click in a dozen places when they stand up off the bench - that this season could be a tad pear-shaped. It's just that Fergie has a habit of kicking you full in the face with a stray boot if you contradict him. So in the end 2nd place it had to be.
    PLUS there's always the chance that with no Carvalho and a legless mule as skipper, Chelsea might be a bit suspect n all. It's just if you're putting your money down at the bookies these ideas make you feel like Quasimodo. It's just a hunch, nothing more.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Houston, we have a predo.

    I predict that:

    Robbo will write a cracking blog

    Blogdignag will enthrall us with his wit

    FBH will get a job with his local Conservative party

    AdamPSB will come out of the closet

    Bluehellsbells will be outed as a man

    Starfire will be outed as director general of the BBC

    TrotterUSA will spew forth the dreaded word "soccer"

    Rod(tool)thefleece will be kneecapped by the IRA

    RBA will be outed as a chav

    AnfieldHopeful will be outed as Darren Ferguson

    TommyB will declare perm day a bank holiday

    And finally, Ngog will (for a small fee) enlighten us with the names and addresses in his little black book

    There

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  59. Director General .... I wish Darth.

    I would have saved the Bruce Dickinson Rock show for a kick off if I was, before booting out McNulty and telling Robbo and CC to go to the pub and decide between themselves who'll get the job of Chief Sports Blogger.

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  60. Starfire

    It's between Robbo and CC. Who's got the biggest knob?

    Robbo. I beseech ye. Please invite me to the pub when you debate, discuss, fight with CC over the DG's ascendancy.

    BTW, re pub, would'nt it be plucking brilliant if all the Robbo regulars(except Rod(tool)the fleece) got together in said pub and let it go.

    It could happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  61. Robbo, i see where you are coming from, but i think SAF has moved to ease the burden on Rooney. Hernandez is, at the very least, another option. Nani is now an established 1st team player rather than the sulky bit part we have seen in the past.

    I agree that Rio's back could come in to it, but surely we wont have the whole blooming back four out injured again?

    I would still only put us amongst the favourites. I think its too open to call..... so i will stick my cock on the block and say.........Wigan are in a lot of trouble!

    ReplyDelete
  62. Robbo blog league: 41384-28795
    Head to Head: 41384-28803

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  63. Typically, I'll be out most of the day and won't be home till tomorrow so I won't know how my charges will fare till then.

    Did a compromise with my attacking options as I've got 2 in doubt for today ... Drogba's out but Bent's still in.

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  64. Cheers Star....was meaning jacks other league but dont worry, 2 is enough.

    How can you see the head to head fixtures?

    Hmmm i have gone for a few gambles in my team.

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  65. mornin' Lads,

    Just for Darth.....soccer soccer soccer.

    Esmerelda, the bells, the bells....don't go losing faith now Robbo, you only just found it!

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  66. Morning to all football and Miss Millwall lovers ;)

    I just tweaked my FFL team a bit, final team to be announced in a short while. Stay tuned.

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  67. schwarzer
    Warnock Terry Hangeland Craddock
    Bale Cahill Lampard (c) Ferguson
    Defoe Van Persie

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  68. A little light on Blackpool players I admit. Ormerod as back up striker though, it really was close between him and Van Persie to make the first 11 tho

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  69. This is quite irelevant but during the World Cup my wife asked me why Manchester Utd / Barcelona were not in it? and Thats true

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  70. Ok here you go, SharpShooters XI (3-4-3)

    Friedel (GK)
    Vermaelen
    Shawcross
    Figueroa
    Arshavin
    Arteta
    Essien
    Lee
    Rooney (C)
    Tevez
    Rodallega

    Subs: Delap, Alonso, Meite

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  71. Bllody hell - 32 yr old Exeter player has died of Bowel Cancer - v sad

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  72. Nice one Darth - Mostly - sorry mate - you made a schoolboy error (not telling) :)

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  73. My FFL team is sheeite (excuses in early)

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  74. mostly redundant said...
    This is quite irelevant but during the World Cup my wife asked me why Manchester Utd / Barcelona were not in it? and Thats true
    ---------------------------------------

    MR, Barcelona did play didnt they. They were the team that won it.

    H2/Jay - god bless you. Watching the city-spurs game on myp2p..gurutv..what a fantastic stream.

    no wonder the PL isnt popular in the US..isn't easy to wake up at 7.30am (4.30am in California - wonder if its easy downing beer at 4.30am..struggling to do it at 7.30am meself)

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  75. Cant you just smell it in the air?


    and am not talking about fecal spores either!!!

    Happy start of the season everyone.

    Footy proper is back!!!!!!!

    Mooning youse lot!

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  76. Blimey! Hart.

    what a blinder he's having.

    England has a proper keeper after all.


    Wenger, you plank!! should have signed him when you had the chance.

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  77. spurs on fire..wow what a first 15 mins..

    Spit..wengers gonna get given now anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Dont City's socks look like a teenager's leggings?

    Just me then. Carry on.

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  79. They wont sell us Given.

    They would rather sell him to Celtic. Or Fulham.

    Schwarzer is our best bet at the moment.

    I am ok with that.

    A German keeper cant be THAT bad, can he?

    ReplyDelete
  80. AH/Spit - the best part so far has been vuvuzelaless coverage!!!

    Yay! proper footie is back... hope Capello' watching Hart. He's been super. so far.

    ReplyDelete
  81. In the head2head FFL, I am playing at home to Colch's team. Be my guest, Colch... you're welcome!

    ReplyDelete
  82. Man City are top of the Premier League table.

    when was the last that happened?
    How long before it is the standing at the end of the season?

    ReplyDelete
  83. dammit..drogba not playing this weekend..there goes the first punt for FFL not working out as expected..

    man..what a great first game for footy season..

    ReplyDelete
  84. AnfieldHopeful said...

    H2/Jay - god bless you. Watching the city-spurs game on myp2p..gurutv..what a fantastic stream.
    -------------------------

    Anytime mate :)
    Try the stream below boxing Guru, the ESPN Deportes one, its in spanish but the bitrate is higher so the picture is awesome!!

    ReplyDelete
  85. SS11 said...
    In the head2head FFL, I am playing at home to Colch's team. Be my guest, Colch... you're welcome!
    ------------------------------------

    That should be a guaranteed 3 points for you then SS11. My track record in FFL isn't great but do have Hart in goal so hoping for a man of the match display today.

    ReplyDelete
  86. Ignore that last post. I've actually got Gomes in goal today for some reason with Hart on the bench. Clean sheet for Spurs would be good.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Spit, that too ManC are on top after Spurs dominated the first half. Should have been atleast 2 goals up.

    ReplyDelete
  88. Substitution as early comes second half by ManC... thats one reason why they wont achieve anything this season.

    Thanks Colch, I am bit more like you, lets play out an entertaining draw.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Spurs should be kicking themselves for not converting the multi-million chances against the multimillionaires.

    Having said that, I like the look of their team. The full backs did well to link up with the midfield and attackers are not bad either.

    Smashing season ahead.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Aftnoon youse lot - Spit Schwarzer is over-rated - but I think I under-rated him :)

    ReplyDelete
  91. The Tees Mouth said...

    Citeh 5th I said. Optimistic...
    ---------------

    5th from bottom maybe? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  92. Blackpool......GOOOOOAAALLLLL

    ReplyDelete
  93. 'Who needs Drogba when we have Gary Taylor- Fletcha?!

    needs a bit of work that one

    ReplyDelete
  94. The best player on the pitch at Villa Park has been youngster Albright.

    Goals everywhere now.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Gooaaalll......CAN YOU HEAR ME MAGGIE THATCHER? CAN YOU HEAR ME WINSTON CHURCHILL? CAN YOU HEAR ME CLEMENT ATLEY? CAN YOU HEAR ME........ERM........CHARLES HAWTREY? YOUR BOYS ARE TAKING ONE HELL OF A BEATING.............

    ReplyDelete
  96. started typing this yesterday afternoon, but was so busy in the dungheap that I didn't get a cnance to post it;

    I re-read your predo's Robbo and I agree with many of them. I see you rate Arsenal's chances better then last year even though we have lost a few CB's, Gallas (good player but disruptive) Silvestre (shouldn't of been there in the first place) and Campbell.

    As you mentioned the latter has joined the Barcodes, good move for all concerned although I don't expect he could last a whole season, think he'll have to sit out more then a few matches. I think Newcastle are being over rated by many, Chris Houghten's not what I'd call a PL manager and I think he and his team will strugle. The Toon Army (bless 'em) will want their team to make a good go of it and will question his leadership at the first sign of trouble, cue calls for Alan (I can't believe he couldn't save them in nine games) Shearer, and hopefully another chapter in the gospel according to St James (@sportsdirect.com)

    Liverpool at 3rd is a brave prediction, I think they'll make a better fist of it then last season, especially as they don't have the distraction of the CL, well just have to wait and see if little Joe and Nando can stay out of the treatment room long enough to make an impact, Stevie G can't do it all on his own. Maybe Woy will finally utalise Babel, he's not that bad of a player, if he's played in position (and he keeps his gob shut)
    ---

    As for the FFL, I had Given in goal, damn it!!!

    ReplyDelete
  97. Blackpool top of the league at this moment.

    Are they really your team Mos' Red' or are you just a glory hunter? ;p

    ReplyDelete
  98. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  99. This PL malarkey is easy peasy innit?

    ReplyDelete
  100. Marlon Harewood, dinosaur-faced man has scored 2 now and Blackpool have scored 3.

    ReplyDelete
  101. H2H

    I have always went to watch the team where I have lived. Unfortunately it's been Blackpool, Hull, Southhampton and Bristol. I seem to sprinkle dust on them tho.

    From what I have heard on 5 Live tho, it sounds like they should be 5 up.

    Star sounded like spurs should have been 4 up as well. I'm not sure Citeh will be retaining their manager for long. A gang of thieves methinks

    ReplyDelete
  102. went to watch?

    ReplyDelete
  103. When I said 'I seem to spread dust on them.' I meant 'Magic' dust. It would be a bit weird other wise. Where is everyone?.......

    ReplyDelete
  104. I hope Milner stays on at Aston Villa and help the club's cause rather than joining hapless Citeh.

    ReplyDelete
  105. O yee of little faith!!!!


    Blackpool to do a Hull and stay up in their first season?

    The second year, they'll do a Hull and go down?

    ReplyDelete
  106. Houston, we have a predo.

    I predict that:

    mostly redundant will type "Where is everyone?......

    FBH will enlighten me (please, please, pretty please) as to where I went wrong with my schoolboy error

    H2H will light up a big dooby and blow it in my face

    Rod(tool)the fleece will become begging champ of Londinium due to his lack of kneecaps

    SS11 will denounce his nazi origins

    Jay will smoke a J

    TrotterUSA will move to Arizona and start shooting the illegals that don't have a framed pic of Owing Coil

    everyone that posts "simples", "Laters" will be summarily shot.

    Laters

    ReplyDelete
  107. Darth matio - your schoolboy is the same as Strachan's today - he played 442 instead of 433 geddit big man :) But supose make do with a point - getting there!!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  108. Darth,
    Laters pal, you just got smoked!

    FBH,
    I went 352 so hows my schoolboy doing?? Ironically it was against you :)

    ReplyDelete
  109. Darth, well at least you didn't say "simples".

    *Blows smoke in your direction*

    ---
    Oh, and AH, you're welcome mate, myP2P is great, innit.

    ReplyDelete
  110. FBH said:

    Darth matio - your schoolboy is the same as Strachan's today - he played 442 instead of 433 geddit big man :) But supose make do with a point - getting there!!!! :)

    Translator Alert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Anyone make any sense of this?????

    Your's appreciated

    ReplyDelete
  111. Darth,
    You and FBH are both getting a little confused :)
    FBH originally posted :

    Followingborohurts said...

    Nice one Darth - Mostly - sorry mate - you made a schoolboy error (not telling) :)
    ------------------

    He meant nice one Darth on the Predos, and Mostly Redundant had the schoolboy error by playing 442 on his FFL team. When you asked about the schoolboy error he mistakenly thought you had posted the 442 FFL team.

    Any clearer now?

    ReplyDelete
  112. Jay

    You're a plucking superstar.

    Seriously man. I had no idea what I was on about until you came along.

    JAY FOR PRESIDENT OF UN TRANSLATOR SERVICES.

    He gets my vote.

    Simples. (Ahhhhhhh shit, shoot me now, quickly, before my love tunnel becomes visible to AdamPSB).

    ReplyDelete
  113. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  114. Darth, I will take that honour of shooting you.

    SS11 =>> =>> =>> ==>> DARTH (duck down! and save yourself)

    ReplyDelete
  115. All these players yet again prove they can score hatful for their most beloved clubs but cant pass the fooking ball while playing for their country.

    Long Live Premiership Football!!!

    ReplyDelete
  116. I have already started hating the Chavs, 6 goals on the opening day.

    I HATE CHELSEA.
    I HATE CHELSEA.
    I HATE CHELSEA.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Apples for the ascent FBH? Not sure I know what you mean there! :)

    ReplyDelete
  118. AH,
    looks like Drogba(wlslikeagirl)came through for you on your FFL team and any other clever gits who picked him.

    ReplyDelete
  119. ah well, we're underway and Elmander looks like he's had a personality transplant. A point a game should see us safely into 17th.

    Well done Blackpool. Holloway for England!

    ReplyDelete
  120. what the hell, I get TommyB first game and he has Drogba with 34 bloody points. The season is in the tank, down the crapper, up the swanee. Well played Tommy!

    ReplyDelete
  121. I want to know who's pulling the strings in chelsea, especially on Ancelotti's eyebrow!

    ReplyDelete
  122. And for tomorrow, good luck H2H, SS11 and Spits!
    Go Gerrard!!!!
    G-Force!

    ReplyDelete
  123. Right Kentucky Fried B(f)uckit! Its dead in here so my gal is watching Star Trek with me! Prob won't go down well but she will :)

    ReplyDelete
  124. Bloody hell - I had Malouda and Drogba in my FFL last season - but not this

    ReplyDelete
  125. Hey Andrey,

    more of this Sunday afternoon.

    That is all.

    ReplyDelete
  126. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrw4IlKRPmc

    ReplyDelete
  127. Followingborohurts said...

    Bloody hell - I had Malouda and Drogba in my FFL last season - but not this
    ----
    Same here, even had the drog as captain.

    Still just in front of AH andDifficult in head to Head

    ReplyDelete
  128. Jay - good luck...for you to have fun down there and for the game tomorrow..Go Gerrard!! Tommy good start to the FFL..Keep it going son.

    ReplyDelete
  129. Oh yeah, FFL, I messed that one up big time.

    Will start over for next weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  130. *Crossing fingers* Drogba to move to Real Madrid! Now that would be class.

    ReplyDelete
  131. "Drogba or Rooney...hmmm Rooney it is."

    WHY WEAZEL? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????

    ReplyDelete
  132. Ha! Take that, Trottolini! Feel the amazing power of my bull-in-a-chinashop magical crumpling supersulky front man!!

    Anyway, enough gloating. Can anybody enlighten me as to events at the DW? Was there some kind of metaphysical anomaly? And the usually chipper and witty Ian Holloway looked like Eeyore with ME in his interview. What's going on?

    And one more thing... Darth, are you telling me that perm day isn't a bank holiday? I thought Degsy and the militant sorted that out in the 80's. Where's my quill? I'm off to write a strongly worded reproach.

    ReplyDelete
  133. Its starting to get really annoying how teams just seem to give up once Chelsea score/are gifted a couple of goals. I watched the first half and thought Chelsea were really below par, couldn't believe it ended 6 nil.

    Anyway, rant over. Hows everyone thinkin the game todays gonna end? I've a horrible feeling the Gooners are gonna wipe the floor with Liverpool.

    ReplyDelete
  134. I've a wonderful feeling of optimism, Rodders. It's that beginning-of-the-season-and-no-LFC-players-in-my-fantasy-team type optimism that comes before a fall. But I'm enjoying it nonetheless. I say LFC 3-0 Goon Show! COME ON RED MEN!!!!

    I also predict that predictions will be outlawed as they never do me any favours, and as one "amused" poster put it, it's a marathon not a snickers or something like that.

    ReplyDelete
  135. I hope you're right Tommy but Arsenal always tend to make a really good start to the season. Theres not many better sights than seeing monsieur Wenger getting pissed off waving his arms about kicking water bottles.

    ReplyDelete
  136. Radio 5 - "he's a striker that doesnt score many goals" - erm - he's a midfielder then - or shite!

    ReplyDelete
  137. Whooah Body Fooorrrm - Body Form for yooooouuuuu.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Who were they talking about fbh? Heskey? Mikkel Beck? God he was rubbish.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Followingborohurts said...

    Radio 5 - "he's a striker that doesnt score many goals" - erm - he's a midfielder then - or shite!
    ____________

    Heskey playing somewhere?

    ReplyDelete
  140. Its Forest v Leeds - so take your pick - or Hesley :)

    (How to confuse an Irishman - put him in a room of spades....)

    ReplyDelete
  141. Spit/Tommy - Im considering popping out for a few cheeky pints to watch Lpoo v Goons - you two have a fight and I will cheers for the loser - very English eh - I think Goons will do well - soz Tommy

    ReplyDelete
  142. fbh,

    we knonw you being a Boro supporter, you DO support the loser.

    No need to flaunt it about mate.
    :)

    have a monkeys time down the pub.

    ReplyDelete
  143. It's nice that you consider me my team's only redeeming feature, fb, but we shall have to agree to disagree in a very British Queensbury rules-esque stand-off. Martin Skrtel will score a hat trick and Fabregas will be distracted by a cunningly positioned Gaudi sculpture bouncing around at the Kop end. Therefore it will be 3-0 and I won't cry.

    Spit. Fuck you. Just till 6pm though. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  144. Easy Tommy,

    I am not used to 3 hour fuck sessions.
    You seem to have learnt summat tantric on your indian trip.

    ReplyDelete
  145. I thought she was more into sword fighting?

    ReplyDelete
  146. 1501: Away from this match for a minute - Argentina legend Diego Maradona has apparently thrown his hat into the ring to become the new Aston Villa manager, according to his 'European representative' Walter Soriano. Brilliant. How fun would the Premier League be then?!

    ____________

    that would be fuckin' AWSOME.

    ReplyDelete
  147. Spits, if that Maradona stuff is true I will be ecstatic. As for the other, you know your limits mate and I'm willing to respect that.

    ReplyDelete
  148. Wilshire starts vs. Liverpool.

    Get in lad.

    ReplyDelete
  149. Evil-Weazel said...
    "Drogba or Rooney...hmmm Rooney it is."

    WHY WEAZEL? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????
    ------
    I did the same, gawd damn it, bloody injury predicter telling me he was unlikely to start, basterds!!
    ____

    Good luck to all you Micky Mousers out there.

    Come on Arsenal!!

    ReplyDelete
  150. Wenger has said the keeper that plays today will be Arsenal's #1 for the season. Big decision that, I must say... Wake up Wenger!
    ---------

    It's a difficult game to start with, no clear favorites until we actually see something.
    Go Andrey, Go Gooners!!!

    ReplyDelete
  151. No Cesc!
    That's my ffl team fooked then.

    ReplyDelete
  152. Almunia's a better choice then flappyhandski at the mo, SS11, although its still like having the choice of rolling naked through broken glass or having a rodent shoved up your jaxxy.

    ReplyDelete
  153. TorreSamK9 on Twitter: "These games decide everything: six-pointer."

    Yet another reason to stay away from twatter.

    ReplyDelete
  154. WTF?

    He seems to have broken his leg.

    ReplyDelete
  155. If he's out already were up shit creek and the paddle shop is closed for the holidays.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Fuck J Cole. Fuck L'pool.

    Hope injury is not serious. Get well soon Koscielny.

    ReplyDelete
  157. At halftime I was about to say, we lacked creativity with final pass.
    But that J Cole tackle has diverted the whole discussion.

    Why Arsenal player always??

    ReplyDelete
  158. Well Koscielny coming back on the pitch is good news.

    ReplyDelete
  159. OK, so he's fit enough to resume

    again, WTF?

    ReplyDelete
  160. Hurray, we have a player who's not made of glass.

    ReplyDelete
  161. 2:0 to the Spanish Goal keepers.

    ReplyDelete
  162. I would have settled for 1-1 at the start of the game. But the way it actually was played, I would say a point gifted to Arsenal.

    ReplyDelete
  163. Abject performance by Arsenal.

    lucky to get a point.

    ReplyDelete
  164. Phew, what a let off.
    L'pool were robbed, we never looked like scoring, apart from the Rosciky effort, too many passes going nowhere.

    Hey scousers, now you know how we felt all last season, a keeper who makes great saves and then a total fudge up.

    ReplyDelete
  165. H2..a poor game from both sides really..ngog goal was well struck but wouldnt have gone in against anyone else (except west ham maybe)...arsenal were really poor, liverpool hung in there till the end but you always knew we were going to let one in real late..unless we're 2-0 up,theres no breathing easy..

    hopefully..its just the first few weeks taking its toll...and things settle in and all the 'stars' start shining..

    ReplyDelete
  166. On the BBC live text -

    1813: Just listening to Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger talking after the match - apparently he "didn't see" Joe Cole's tackle on Laurent Koscielny so can't comment on the red card.
    ------------
    LOL @ Wenger

    ReplyDelete
  167. We looked a bit lost without Cesc, Wilshere was ok, but proved that he isn't quite ready, Arshavin went missing in the second half.
    Was impressed with L'pool's spirit and glad that Arsnal played to the 90 mins.

    The first game of the season came too soon for both of us, but it's out the way now, next up, the over 'pool.

    ReplyDelete
  168. SS11 said...
    Fuck J Cole. Fuck L'pool.

    Hope injury is not serious. Get well soon Koscielny.

    Yep - he got well soon - just in time for the 2nd half - Arsenal are happy with a point before the game but shud be gutted afterwards - against 10 men for so long - enjoyable game from a nuetral tho.

    Right Im watching suamt on iplayer on bbc about two swedish sisters (twins - as per Garteh in The Office - "Whats your fantasy Gareth" - "Sisters, twins") - if it aint what that suggests it maybe I'll be back very soon - oh hang on - if it is what that suggests it is I will be back soon.

    ReplyDelete
  169. A comment on L'pool performance.

    I liked Jovanovic's performance very much. He played better than Gerrard on the day.

    ReplyDelete
  170. Just checked the FFL, damn you Fabregas what a waste of 12 mil, hope Rooney scores a hat trick. Well done Tommy 86 points once you subs are made.

    ReplyDelete
  171. No wonder Lpool wanna sign Brad Jones - winners today? Middlesbrough FC? (Back to Swedish sisters - twins)

    ReplyDelete
  172. FBH,

    dont be so dismissive of, 'sisters, twins'

    Not all twins are sisters.

    ReplyDelete
  173. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L42-yKY1vRM&feature=related

    ReplyDelete
  174. Drogba is a cunt! I left him out because he was supposedly injured and he scores a fucking hat-trick!

    Looks like a middle of the road performance from my team this week ... 16th with 40 points, mind that's seeing off my oppo in the head to head at least.

    ReplyDelete
  175. Was not too impressed by the pool or the gooners today. I am a fan of Arsenal's footie but fear for them next week aginst the mighty Blackpool. I do hope it's not an avalanche of goals against them, it's not fair on Arsenal having to play two of the strongest teams with 'pool' in their name early on

    ReplyDelete
  176. If today's performance is something to go on, Arsenal will struggle to finish 4th.

    But City's performance yesterday gives me hope.

    ReplyDelete
  177. City would have been annihilated if it weren't for Hart Spit ... least we have a decent GK for the national team now.

    ReplyDelete
  178. Hart was massive and looked calm and assured the whole 90 minutes.

    Thought Seaman was the last English keeper to exhibit calmness and assurance.

    Sure all keepers make a mistake or two but the defence need to know if they can trust their calls, something Almunia cannot be accused of.

    I have sat behind the goal plenty of times in home games and rarely have I ever heard him shout out something to own players where as Cech and van der Sar seem to have a ghetto blaster fitted to their mugs. Even Lehmann was barking as a mad dog (also acting like one on occasions).

    Just baffling why Wenger would continue with him for so long.

    ReplyDelete
  179. Tweet from Paul Fraser, Northern Echo "KevinThomson confirmed to have broken fibula.

    Boro Luck is always bad luck!!!

    ReplyDelete
  180. mornin Lads, played golf and taped the game, two ale house teams. The Dung Heap Bar v Real Ale Tommy. Looked like pump wash to me.

    Wilshere doesn't fit in at Arsenal, send him back to Bolton immediately. Might as well send Arshavin too eh?

    ReplyDelete
  181. look out Tommy, If Evra scores 4 tomorrow your dreams of a permfect season will be over.

    ReplyDelete
  182. I didnt even know AQrashavin was on 'til he took a corner - in teh 2nd half

    (Hey lads me typing might me shite but me grammar is gud - actually me punctuation is good - there is a difference)

    ReplyDelete
  183. - its come to sumat when I have to translate me own effing posts :)

    ReplyDelete
  184. Until abrevited = 'til, not till - clever lad that Boro twat :)



    Can anyone tell Im bored??????????????????/

    ReplyDelete
  185. "No one is perfect... that's why pencils have erasers."

    Lennie to Homer - (Apols Spits - you may have seen this on Twitter @terryfbh)

    ReplyDelete
  186. Why is my/me laptop brighter (visually not intellectually before you pedants kick off) when the power cable is unplugged - spooky


    FFS - Im cooking on gas tonight _ hope some sado in the US - or anywahre reads this - Trott - over to you :)

    ReplyDelete
  187. 6 posts on the bonk in an hour - cash bakc!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  188. How's about a saddo in NL?

    Wassup fbh.

    ReplyDelete
  189. Hey H!!!!! Im happy now me mate has tunred up - holland is - how you shay - shfine wish mesh ???

    Arsenal shud have gone for it and must be a bit gutted they never /??? Discuss???

    ReplyDelete
  190. Thing is H - Im (how you shay) effing knackered now :)

    ReplyDelete

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