Sunday, 8 August 2010

Fabio's Sinking Ship

So Paul Robinson has pulled out of the England squad - he doesn't see himself as a number 3 or 4 keeper so he's retired from international football. Oh no!!! First Wayne Bridge the imaginary cuckold, then Emile Heskey the imaginary centre-forward, and now the Bloke Who Mistook a Molehill for a Football!

How the fook will we cope? Happy retirement, Paul. Maybe you'll even get a tinpot handshake from the golden shower generation.


Quick men! Swim back to your clubs!

But wait!!! Wes Brown, too?! The versatile defender (code for never very convincing anywhere, cf Joleon Lescott) has joined the unseemly scramble to get off the SS Fabio before the Hungarian Iceberg hits.

There can't be many still in Capello's post-calamity creche who couldn't do with a break from pulling on the three kittens and stepping out on a top-weaved Wembley turf to a wall of passive aggression from the England fans. But still, it's starting to reek of yellow streak.

Fabio's Fashanu-elbowed a couple of undeserving blokes out of the squad and I assume Crouchy and Defoe's omissions are more down to Spurs having a Champs League qualifier than for any desperate shortcomings in South Africa. Hard to see what Stephen Warnock did wrong... or indeed what he did at all. Or Joe Cole, for that matter. Perhaps Capello has a pathological hatred for Oliver! the Musical.

Others can join Robinson, Brown and Heskey in the pub for wannabe pundits. David 'Macy Gray' James, Robert 'KitKat Fingers' Green, Matty Upson-Downs, Wrong Shite-Phillips... all are rightly on the discard pile.

The squad has stuck with some creaking old retainers, mind you. Those of us that have suspected that John Terry was an unshod carthorse with all the pace of a salted snail were proved right against Germany. Add to that his capacity for dipping his pen in the wrong inkwell and running off his mouth at the wrong mike and you have a walking, almost-talking disaster.

Lampard too might well be looking at long nights on a Good Morning sofa with Ms Bleakley rather than continuing to prove his limitations at international level.

Wazza - as in 'have a wazzagainst the bin, mate' - could do with having a bit of a rest n all. I'm not too fussed about his lewd behaviour, me. Apparently he had a fag on n all. Big deal.


Don't worry, Wayne - it is big and it is clever

I mean the Blue Bell used to have an end of season award called 'Best Goal Scored While Smoking'. We banned it not for PC reasons but cos in the act of deflecting a piledriver for a corner, the ball set Tony Thompson's in-pocket Swan Vestas alight and incinerated his 75% polyester footy shorts. I can tell he wwasn't playing in the hole for a few weeks after that.

You just hope when Giggsy tells you in a post-match interview that Wazza's 'on fire' it doesn't mean he's dropped his Silk Cut-butt inside his socks.

As for Gareth Barry, well, I'd rather he gave up footy and joined JT and Jamie Carragher in training for the London 2012 20km Plod (that's Walk). If all three of them run as fast as they can they could win us a medal and there'd be no danger of any of them being disqualified.

It's Carra from Barra from JT!!

Of course you can't really tell anything at this stage of the season. It's a preposterous game for the FA to organise. Clearly it was done with some post-WC glory in mind - you know... flag-waving yeomen swarming to nestle 'neath the Wembley arch and hail the glorious near-conquerors.

As it is it's effing meaniningless in the extreme. Why for example Ashley Young, Theo Walcott or Adam Johnson should be better qualified to play for England now, with precisely no competitive games played in the season, than they were in say, May, is impossible to argue.

The only qualities you want to see out on the pitch on Wednesday - given that touch and technique are guaranteed to be absent - are a bit of passion and a sense that the players want to be out there.

There's a delicious little bit of irony in that the yoof element of the squad comes mostly from that flimsy front for French-speaking immigrants, Arsenal FC. That's right! It's like finding out that the beef for your Sunday roasts has been supplied by the Vegetarian Society.

It's almost a shame that Fabregas's decision to stay (for one last hurrah) means Wilshere's opportunities will still be limited.

Of course we're stuck with Capello's management and not Andy Smart's inspired suggestion that a different pub selects the team each time. (Listen to Robbo Podcast 3, above). If the Blue Bell were in charge, the team would look like this:

Hart; G.Johnson, Jagielka, Dawson, A.Cole; Young/Milner, Wilshere, Parker, A Johnson; Gerrard; Rooney.

Clearly if we go to a two-man strike force then Wayne will be partnered by whoever has a lighter with him and my money would be on Zamora.

Of course most of us would've been delighted with a wholesale cull of the same magnitude as the French Football Federation's. I can see Anelka and Malouda chuntering away together at Chelsea HQ saying "'E 'az like totally Laurent Blanc-ed me!"

Whether I'll have owt to say on Wednesday's game is a moot point. As sport it's about as important as the Community Shield. Or the plotline of an Australian soap. Which brings us back to Paul Robinson.

507 comments:

  1. 'Best Goal Scored While Smoking'. I lolled

    By the way robbo re "cf Joleon Lescott" - surely you mean " Joleon Lescott et.al. "?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Not bad. Living up to your name on the weekend I see?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Even the tories honeymoon lasted longer Noel - bloody libdems!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You've got a good squad there though. Would you rather have Southgate or Strachan in charge?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Erm - Strachan - Southgate was a decent fella let down by players with egos and ferraris - but he bought badly!!!! Alves, Emnes (who he bought for £3.5mill - cf Boyd on a free - cf used correctly :)then hardly played him)Digard the sicknote - at least there will be a bit of fight and hopefully a few goals

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yeah you've definitely got the quality. May take a while for them to gel but once they do they'll take some stopping. Whatever happened to Alves anyhow? How much did you guys pay for him - 12m?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yeah - but we got 7m when we sold him - if this was twitter I would #havingtheireyesout

    ReplyDelete
  8. First!!! Ahh Flip........... but sure not last!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am retiring from International Football - lets start a movement!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Holloway2Holland said...
    AS for the "real" *cough splutter* footy this weekend

    Blog, RBA, TOne, (JaCks) we are getting to them :)

    Total Football - Real Football ??? (Hope we get promoted this year tho)

    ReplyDelete
  11. it is also with a heavy heart that i announce my retirement from the international game, i'd like to thank the fans and the coaching staff.

    I wish England all the best for the future.

    RBA92

    ReplyDelete
  12. Morning all. It's been a while but I've finally found a way around the company internet security settings. This caught my eye from today's gossip column..........

    Barcelona midfielder Xavi insists Cesc Fabregas's stay at Arsenal could only be temporary. The Gunners captain, subject to speculation regarding a move to the Nou Camp, revealed last week he would remain at the Emirates. Xavi said: "We've given up on the idea of him arriving now but maybe he'll come in January when Arsenal are out of the Premier League race. They can't just hold him against his will."

    Erm, yes they can Mr Xavi. He signed a 7 year contract and was happy to do so. Noone (not Plymouth) forced him to sign so unless your club borrow the £50 million to sign him I suggest you shut the f**k up.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Good luck with your retirement RBA, as long as it's not from the blog circuit.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Congrats to Man u for winning (a meaningless pre-season game, they were STGP words not mine) yesterday.

    Sorry to hear about 'trouble at mill' H2H - pissed people are a pain in the arse generally, presuming they were pissed and not just idiots, but at least they kept it in the family!

    I am also thinking about retiring from International football, am just waiting for the call from Capello begging me not to

    ReplyDelete
  15. As for England, of the three Arsenal youth gang, Wilshere's not ready, not by a long shot and don't worry about Cesc keeping him out of the side, Ramsey returning would of done that as well, although Ramsey is more in the same mould as Cesc then Wilshere. Walcott's still the same Theo he was at the end of last season, fast but with no real end product, all us gooners were hoping he'd of learned to cros a ball in the off season, but the evidence in the last few warm up matches suggests he may of been more concerned with his golf swing. Gibbs is ready to make the step up.

    Unfortunatly we can't blame the FA for these silly friendlies, yet again this is the master of disaster Septic Bladder's duristiction

    ReplyDelete
  16. Last season, Robinson kept the most clean sheets of all English goalkeepers and wasn't included in the world cup squad. Ever since he left spurs, he's slowly got back to good form at Blackburn, he is our best english goalkeeper (doesn't take much) and is the unfotunate subject of career assassination by the british media, which has led to this capello fellow ignoring him for the past couple of years and ultimately robbo deciding he's had enough of it. Fair play to him.

    ReplyDelete
  17. 1057: Wigan boss Roberto Martinez has confirmed that Ipswich are one of several clubs interested in striker Jason Scotland.

    Full story: Wigan Evening Post
    ---
    Better hurry up Roy, with a surname like that it won't be lond before WGS makes a bid.

    ReplyDelete
  18. So why is Manchester United's Javier Hernandez known as 'little pea'? The father of Mexico's young striker was known as 'el chicharo' (the pea) for his green eyes.
    Full story: Daily Mail
    -----
    Nothing to do with his small member then?

    ReplyDelete
  19. H2 he has probably already lodged a bid as we speak.

    Also I will always be available for England. (the way they are going through full-backs there are only another 156,654 players ahead of me in the pecking order

    ReplyDelete
  20. Same with me regarding the GK position Adam, well until I slip up, let in a soft goal and sulk off into retirement anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Nice to see you back Colch, hope you've healed up nicely.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Cheers H2. All healed and back offshore again. Get home tomorrow but have spent the last month trying to change the boat's internet settings so I can post on here.
    Now how about one of those VirtuAles you've been handing out? Pint for me and a glass of white wine for the lady if you please.

    ReplyDelete
  23. So are we seeing mutiny amongst the England players who don't want to play for FC? Cashley snubbing his handshake, Fabio asking Carrick why he was playing in the Community Shield but was unfit for England, players retiring after being selected for the squad. Or have I just been watching too much Neighbours recently and I am just imagining drama where there isn't any?

    ReplyDelete
  24. Here you go Colch, cheers.

    Noel, there's more drama surronding the England team then any soap script writer could ever dream up.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Of course we're stuck with Capello's management and not Andy Smart's inspired suggestion that a different pub selects the team each time.

    i like the idea, maybe when internet has advanced a bit the whole country can choose the next lineup through a poll on the net, that would be awesome

    ReplyDelete
  26. make simon cowell manager, and we spend 2 years voting for our team in the run up to tournaments...

    It saved music, so why not football?

    ReplyDelete
  27. Just imagine an internet vote for England Team - you'd get foreigners placing shy votes for David Batty (As GK), etc.
    Come to think of it, couldn't be worse than SA10!

    ReplyDelete
  28. RBA..you've read my mind..spooky..we should have a Britains (well, England"s) Got Footy Talent show..3 judges (robbo, JDR and AW)and call-in voters selecting a team from the Championship and Leagues 1 & 2..winning XI take on capello's team and the winners get to represent england.

    ReplyDelete
  29. mornin' Lads (and BHB),

    Good stuff Robbo but SS Fabio should be renamed the Love Boat until the whole stinkin' lot of 'em have walked the plank.

    Paul Robinson just wants to spend more time with his (own) missus.

    Raising glass of H2's VituAle...Here's to you Mrs. Robinson.

    ReplyDelete
  30. what BHB? dodgy vindaloo last night?

    ReplyDelete
  31. Good luck to all the clubs outside "the big four" including Liverpool (chuckle) and no luck to the big four excluding arsenal (developed a soft spot)

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  32. yes it was, it was from a welsh/Indian restaurant Dai Rhere

    ReplyDelete
  33. Like the voting ting idea and maybe we could do a 'running man'. The worst player gets voted instead of man of the match and they have to go on the run in a death match scenario. People text in where they have seen them and ex hard players like Nobby Stiles, Ruddock, Vinnie Jones and Jimmy Hill could hunt them down and terminate them Maybe Jimmy Hill with a bionic chin and bites through their leg...and ....and ...and.....oh it's time for me meds

    ReplyDelete
  34. O'Neil has resigned? Maybe he'll be the next manager of City and can have a reunion with some of his stars of yesteryear?

    ReplyDelete
  35. MR that was a great idea but Jimmy Hill, really no-one deserves a punishment THAT bad

    ReplyDelete
  36. OH you got in there before me Trotter, thats an odd one thogh, odd timing as well. I wonder if it's anything to do with Mlner?

    ReplyDelete
  37. I'm announcing my International come-back... Fabio, my mobile is switched on and I'm waiting.

    Also nice to see Peter Crouch not joining the long line of Premierleague footballers with more money than sense. At least he was thrifty enough to go for a budget hooker and a cheap hotel.

    ReplyDelete
  38. 80 quid for a hotel and 800 quid for a hooker is hardly what I'd call "thrifty" WCG

    ReplyDelete
  39. Well, maybe the FA have woken up and offered him Capello's job. sorry..must've been me that was sleeping. well, one can dream. Honestly, i didnt really want Capello out post-WC (mostly because of the lack of an alternative), but all this post-selection retirement and cashley not shaking his hands and o'neill now becoming available has awoken the fickle fan in me.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Colchester... you need to spend more time on the more 'adult' pages of the tinterweb..... 800 quid for the night is pretty cheap!

    Maybe we should get off this subject before someone resurrects the Rooney - 80 grans a week joke

    ReplyDelete
  41. WCG - you need to spend more time in Essex. Budget hotel - 25 quid. Hooker for the night - a bag of chips and a can of fanta.

    ReplyDelete
  42. 800 quid a night WCG. I formally retire from being picked fr the N.Ireland squad and England and declare myself available for nocturnal activities. I don't have too many miles on the clock.....or c*ck for that matter but am a hard worker with a nice personality. 800 quid or nearest offer...........oh......it's time for me meds again

    ReplyDelete
  43. Colchester... thanks for the tip, but the thought of a trip to Essex is about as inviting as a trip to Detroit. I'll stay in the Big Apple thanks

    On a different note I wonder if the dream team of O'Leary and Gregory are available for a return to Villa?

    ReplyDelete
  44. Nice lil blog Robbo.

    I mentioned last night that Capello should have called to check first if any of the players he named for the game were even bothered to be there.

    And why the hell are the same useless planks still in the team?

    Surely the whole friendly affair is as pointless as kiera Knightly's chest.

    Looking forward to your blog of predictions re the New season. Of course there is some added spice with the O'Niel resignation.

    On a positive note, Wenger, if you are reading this, might be a time to bag a defender from the Villa on the cheap.

    ReplyDelete
  45. So O'Neil's gone ... I'm guessing he got pissed off with not being able to take the club any further while City started dismantling the team he had got.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Colch, there's a rumour about that the day has arrived when you can hold a beer and the remote simultaneously? Just in time for the new season! Congratulations and good health, now watch your step!

    ReplyDelete
  47. H2H, cheers.

    I agree with you on Gibbs. Actually the first time I saw him play he was in left midfield. I think it wouldn't be a bad experiment to let him go forward more. Unlike Walcott, Gibbs can actually cross a ball, though I do concede that Gibbs is woefully left-footed. Maybe RVP can teach him how to use the other peg a bit more.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Oh, by the way, this is That Was Deliberate. I can't seem to sign in so I posted as Anonymous.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Evenin' TWD,

    I first say Gibbs in some academy and reserves games where he also played as a striker and on the left wing.
    Like Ashley Cole, he did start as a striker when a kid but excelled at the left back.

    Hope he doesnt follow Cole in his off field antics.

    ReplyDelete
  50. BTW, TWD,

    did you try registering a google emeil address and using that to si´gn in to blogger instead of a blogger id?

    might help.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Spits,

    You're spot on--Gibbs did indeed start as a striker. He seems to have worked his way back from striker to left-wing/attacking-mid to left mid to left-back. Not sure why, but his game does suit us. My hunch is he'll be named for our squads for two primary reasons:
    1) the English quota rules,
    2) deputy for Clichy.
    I think it was the 2006-2007 season where Clichy never missed a match. But if we're going to get serious about winning something, we can't do our usual routine of having everyone injured at once.
    Any reports on Sunu? I think he's shifted from right wing to centre forward but I could be wrong.
    Koscielni (sp.?) looks like an excellent signing. He's truly two footed and I think we'll have a strong pairing at CB as a result.
    I do wish we'd buy a keeper though...
    -TWD

    ReplyDelete
  52. Spits,

    I used to have a google email address but it got hacked. I'm content using Anonymous and signing off as TWD until I get a new address! With so many blogs and addresses these days I can't remember my passwords properly. Other day, bank ate my bank card because I entered my PIN incorrectly three times in a row! 31 and I'm already losing my memory. Modern life, mate, modern life...
    TWD

    ReplyDelete
  53. Whats with thes English Quota rules - Im worried

    McFBH

    ReplyDelete
  54. So I start tidying the apt up for Mrs t and Daughter to come out at the w\e and all hell breaks out in the footy world
    O'Neills gone why and where will he land, nothing vacant at the mo
    Crouchys been taking lessons from JT and done the dirty with a prossie allegedly

    ReplyDelete
  55. Tone did you ever see FIrst Blood - cue joke :)

    ReplyDelete
  56. re MacFBH,

    if Boro, do win promo this year, wil they need to buy 4/5 players to conform to the quota system imposed in the prem?

    Whodda thunk, Arsenal would be most well placed owing to 90% of their squad being 'home-grown'

    Funny Ol world.

    ReplyDelete
  57. In truth Spits - Im not sure of the details about the quota system - in any event if we get promo we will need to buy 6/7 players :)

    ReplyDelete
  58. Gibbs and Wilshire in the senior squad.

    If FA convince Frimpong to play for England, then he and Lansbury could join the 3 in 4 years time to form the back-bone of English team.

    For a forein-friendly club like Arsenal, not bad eh?

    ReplyDelete
  59. FBH

    Do you mean the film version with Sly, or the Aussie soap version called
    '
    '
    '
    '
    '
    '
    '
    '
    '
    Hymen Away

    ReplyDelete
  60. If its £800 a night as a hooker then i am coming out of retirement! I could do with that sort of money. Dont think the missus will be too happy......she likes peter crouch........

    Now it seems that she performed an "act" on him in the back of a cab. My guess is card trick or ventriloquist dummy?

    Isnt it great to have the footy back. Its only been a day since our magnificant victory (BHB - I changed my mind), two england squad players retire & O'Neil quits. Robbo, you are going to be up to 4 or 5 blogs a week with all this material.......no?.....just the one then!

    P.S. Like what you did with Paul Robinson - Now there is a rumour worth spreading!

    ReplyDelete
  61. Can i just clarify it wasnt my missus performing the "act" on Peter Crouch.......she was discussing Duns Scotus and his views on metaphysics round at John Terry's house. Apparently Ashley Cole is the nuts.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Why does Donald Duck wrap a towel around his waste when he gets out of the shower even though the dirty bugger never wears trousers or underpants?

    Love it - H2H - you played Out on the Floor lately - class - Norterhn Soul - not southern younotice :)

    ReplyDelete
  63. I was asked for ideas as to questions that should be asked on a first date - best I could come up with is " When does your ex come out of prison ? "







    Thing is I wasnt even thinking of recent events - it may be too soon - I was being serious - I think I need to raise my sights a little?

    ReplyDelete
  64. Must be National Quitters' Week or something given Paul, Wes and Martin have all buggered off ...



    ... And on that note I'd like to announce that I too am a big quitter, and I quit.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Morning all. FBH are you out there lurking? I've just come into port in your neck of the woods and will be driving past Yarm on my way home later. Fancy a beer?

    ReplyDelete
  66. BLUEHELLSBELLS said...
    yes it was, it was from a welsh/Indian restaurant Dai Rhere

    _________________________________________________

    Once got involved in a punch-up in a South American/Indian restaurant... The Argie-Bhaji

    ReplyDelete
  67. Someone suggested to me that you might need a stepladder to go down on Crouchy. That's right. We're setting the bar low on this one.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Hey Colch - Ive just logged on - would be great to meet if our plans can cross - what time you be in Yarm?

    ReplyDelete
  69. http://leftbackinthechangingroom.blogspot.com/2010/08/11-moments-that-shaped-english-football.html

    ReplyDelete
  70. Could Eriksson or Southgate be set to fill the hotseat at Villa Park?

    Erm, no.

    ReplyDelete
  71. The Tees Mouth said...


    Once got involved in a punch-up in a South American/Indian restaurant... The Argie-Bhaji
    -------------

    I ran away from a German once, it was known as the Kraut Escape

    ReplyDelete
  72. tone1947 said...

    O'Neills gone why and where will he land,......
    ----
    Probably on the MOTD couch.

    ReplyDelete
  73. O'Neill probably land in Man City, simply because they have to buy everyone available. Probably decide that with so many players, they could do with 2 coaches.

    ReplyDelete
  74. It would be the epotimomy of irony if O'neill did land at City (preferably after been chucked out of a plane and bouncing off Mancini's designer head)

    He could then try bartering for Milner, using the arguement that there's no way that he's worth more then 15mill, he only inflated the price because he bet Randy Lerner that the guys at City, especially Gerry Cock (not a typo) are as stupid as they look.

    ReplyDelete
  75. 1422: Stoke City boss Tony Pulis says Ryan Shawcross will win his England place back. The defender, called up to the national squad last season, was not selected by Fabio Capello for Wednesday's friendly against Hungary. Pulis said: "Ryan had a couple of injuries at the end of last season which pushed him back. But he will play for England and could one day captain England." (Press Association)
    -------
    "had" or inflicted?

    ReplyDelete
  76. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  77. And the award for most far fetched piece of shit journalism goes to;

    Tottenham are considering whether to make a £22m offer for Manchester City striker Emmanuel Adebayor.
    Full story: caughtoffside.com

    ReplyDelete
  78. I read this 4 hours ago -

    http://msn.football365.com/story/0,17033,13852_6304190,00.html

    And I'm still laughing my ass off!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  79. that would be something if true.he would have ended up playing for 3 of the top 4 in the PL, you would think he is some rare combination of drogba and torres. surely spurs are better off holding on to crouchy than spending 22 mil on this wanker. As you say H2...probably isnt an iota of truth in that..just some journo trying to make up stuff to get his quota of rumours in for the day.

    ooh..cant wait for sunday H2 - all the best to you lot, but am really hoping you lose :)

    ReplyDelete
  80. make that 3 of the top 5..though according to a 'poll of the experts' on the beeb, City are headed for 4th place this year.

    ReplyDelete
  81. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  82. The expert McNulty from the beeb predicted L'pool for the title AH, I'll have a butchers at what they're saying this year, probably same ól two horse race predo's though.

    Sunday's game comes too soon for us I'm afraid. I think we'll be missing Cesc, RvP, Son Diaby and Dnhilson, all of which haven't been seen during pre-season, there's also the matter of those sillt friendlies comming up, but I suppose you'll be hit by that too.

    ReplyDelete
  83. virtuALE® stocks are about to go through the roof;

    Aston Villa players texted images of champagne bottles to each other to celebrate manager Martin O'Neill's exit - under a week before the new Premier League season starts.
    Full story: Daily Mirror

    Or in the case of the Dungheap, maybe through the window.

    ReplyDelete
  84. i saw that one too and was wondering if i missed something that made the press lately. Why were the villa players happy at O'Neill leaving? Whats the story behind that one?

    ReplyDelete
  85. http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/news/Martin-O-Neil-resigned-as-Aston-Villa-manager-because-he-lost-the-dressing-room-and-he-didn-t-like-the-financial-cut-backs-article548757.html

    The Mirror said he "lost the dressing room"I thought it would of been in the same place as it has been for years.

    Seriously though, I only saw the story this afternoon, so I'm still catcing up on the details (locking for the Crouchy/prossy story too) Seems to me like extreamly bad timing for Villa, I never was much of a fan of O'Neill, jumped up little geezer,though I do respect him for always being a straight shooter, even though he did tend to exagerate sometimes. I think Villa will be hard pressed to find someone as good as him.

    ReplyDelete
  86. Never really rated Mr. O'Negative.

    not more than a top-half-but-not-so-high kinda manager stuck with the age old long ball tactics.

    Besides any man or woman related to football in any capacity that is of the opinion E. Heskey is/was/ever will be a striker does not get my respect.

    But sure, the guy seems to work hard and be fair to his employers. Wish him well.

    ReplyDelete
  87. well, i think he did okay. apart from the heskey disaster, he did fairly well to groom the likes of ashley young and milner over the last 2-3 years. Consistently got villa into the top 6-7, which shows some ability i think.

    ReplyDelete
  88. what, nothing about those dirty Dutch in this blog, Robbo? who kicked the turntable to stop it skipping? ;]

    i love how Sven has come out 15 seconds after O'neil's resignation to say "me me me!"
    desperate stuff from a desperate Swede!

    ReplyDelete
  89. Here is a sincere Top Tip for Villa Manager.

    Lothar Matthäus

    Announced today that he will be moving to England after separating from his 4th wife.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Lothar Matthäus, now he was a quality player! I guess his "playing" days never really ended, that would explain the 4 wives. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  91. Bloody Hell, there's Denis, where've you been summering? Now you're here, Gaz is sure to show up. All set for glory this season Denis?

    ReplyDelete
  92. I was wondering we have got english, scottish, welsh, irish(not any more), spanish, french, italian, israeli managers in the premier league.

    Given the group, a german manager just sounds right.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Bit of a grumpy old man but Walter Matthau was better.

    ReplyDelete
  94. what is it Spit, the League of fuckin' Nations?

    ReplyDelete
  95. Also, a shout out to

    Jacks,
    Bo,
    Preach,
    Zoot,
    southernFairy,
    E-Dubz,
    Baggie,
    ...


    we know you read this blog.

    Now, pull yer fingers out yer bumms and start posting again.

    That's an ORDER!!!!!*







    (in an Eric Cartman accent ala his Hitler impression)

    ReplyDelete
  96. howdy Trotsky - i figured since Robbo'd been mailing it in for weeks, i could do the same!

    all set for glory indeed... if of course by glory you mean breaking the world record for consecutive passes without an attempt on goal!
    seriously, i have no idea what to expect from the Arse in terms of results. i'd settle for a season without gut-churning injuries for starters.

    sorry to tease you with that Wilshire kid... reckon you could probably use him for a full term!

    best 'o luck to your beloved Notlob ;]

    ReplyDelete
  97. Trott,

    that says a lot about why the national team is Shieeeeeeeeet.

    No one to train them right.

    ReplyDelete
  98. He'll be back Denis....as the song goes...he left his heart in a Bolton disco

    ReplyDelete
  99. Oh, Bolton arent getting hold of Wilshire unless they promise us 6 points and a goal diff of 10 in the league.

    Deal, Trott?

    ReplyDelete
  100. well, World Cup Glory in 2014 is assured, the journey begins tomorrow. COME ON ENGLAND

    ReplyDelete
  101. OR, 10 million + Wilshire goes on loan in return for gary Cahill signing for Arsenal.

    Deal, trott?

    ReplyDelete
  102. er, no, we gave you less than that last year and he wasn't playing.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Lothar Mathaus, Andreas Brehme and Juergen Klinsman..the heart and sould of italia 90 (and inter milan for a bit)...which should make him about 50 years old and still 'playing'..good stuff and cheers to lothar.

    ReplyDelete
  104. er, no again, Cahill is worth 150 million so you give us Wilshere full time and 140mil + reimbursed travel expenses if it snows in London

    ReplyDelete
  105. and we're about to sign wonder kid Tom Eaves so we'll throw in El Mandy, he'd be perfect for the Gunners.

    ReplyDelete
  106. OR, we hold on to Wilshire and he leads the rout of the FC Bolton from somewhere in the middle.

    ReplyDelete
  107. Spit

    Isnt the Barnsley Big Mouth Irish?

    ReplyDelete
  108. Sven confesses that he's a lifelong Villa fan, and how as a lad in Sweden he and his Pa would watch Villa on the telly, dreaming that one day he would be manager at the legendary Villa Park. Of course he never mentioned this when England manager as that wouldn't have been fair.

    "They have always been my team and nothing has changed."

    "Villa will always hold a special place in my heart."

    ReplyDelete
  109. Wilshere will likely get a season ending budgie kick next week. If he does play against Bolton he'll score at least one o.g. as a "thank-you"

    ReplyDelete
  110. Trott!!!! you is a traitor!!!
    you wish injury upon the hope fo the nation, the english messi, the english brady and the English Puskas and and and.......

    Now england will not win WC 2014 and it will all be your fault.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Tone,

    you talking of Mick Mickarthy?

    Sure, he IS irsih.

    ReplyDelete
  112. bollocks, he needs to play for a proper team like Bolton, where he can be a leader and grow into a man and get a proper flat cap made of scratchy wool. Last thing he needs is to play for a pansy arsed tippy tappy bunch of mediterranean cold soup inseminated nancy boys who drive cars with no back seats.

    ReplyDelete
  113. Jay - that is funny and disgraceful at the same time. The guy is really desperate. If moyes replaces o'neill we'll be reading how him and his mom used to dream of him leading the troops at goodison.

    ReplyDelete
  114. Thats the changing world Trott.

    Didnt you see the team who won the world cup a month ago?

    Thats exactly what they are.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Just had a look and i sure missed Coyle (irish) and de Matio (swiss born, Italian)

    So, there you have it.
    The whole fucking league of nations.

    ReplyDelete
  116. that's not true. David Villa lives in a two up two down in Great Harwood with an outhouse. On his day off he goes whippet racing and has an evening job at the local chippy. He drives a 1968 Ford Anglia

    ReplyDelete
  117. Trott,

    next you'll be telling how his 'lady pleaser' is infact used to clean air wents as he puts his face forward to see through the dimmed wind-shield.

    Liar is what you are, Sir.

    ReplyDelete
  118. AH,
    "If moyes replaces o'neill we'll be reading how him and his mom used to dream of him leading the troops at goodison."

    ---------------

    Nah, even Sven's gonna draw the line somewhere :)

    Did you read this >
    http://msn.football365.com/story/0,17033,13852_6304190,00.html

    Definitely gonna be our year then! :)

    ReplyDelete
  119. Whats JT doing in Gt Harwood

    ReplyDelete
  120. So for us lesser mortals
    Celtic Boro lead
    Millers lead
    Gills lead
    Shots down

    ReplyDelete
  121. Stevie talking more than he should...not a good sign..lets hope he focuses on nothing but playing a good game and leaves the talking to, er, well, Robbo.

    ReplyDelete
  122. And Port Vale have taken lead against QPR!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  123. tone1947 said...
    Whats JT doing in Gt Harwood
    -----
    The dirty with somebody else's missus?

    ReplyDelete
  124. hey FBH, The Boro is on our telly, a new first. The Yankee programmers only pick the best!

    ReplyDelete
  125. and Blog will be stopping off to see Chris Charles on his way back from holiday.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Trott..who is showing footy in the US? woohoo..i hope i have it too.

    ReplyDelete
  127. 1009 here is the old setanta, now called fox soccer plus. subscription channel. Still, it's Boro and Chesterfield, well worth paying for.

    84 here is fox soccer channel.
    also msg network sometimes plus ESPN2 now and then.

    ReplyDelete
  128. depending where you are and who provides the cable/dish your channel numbers will differ

    ReplyDelete
  129. Scholsey and BHBELLS.

    I was just mismanaging my FFL team , a top 3 finish last year is looking better by the second as this time I can't even get a team within the budget, damn it, and I noticed you're not signed up for the head to head league, Wassup?

    No sign of Smogger Rythmn(?) either

    ReplyDelete
  130. If Robbo thinks Randy Lerner should be played by Kenneth Connor then.....

    Harry Rednapp played by Sid James
    Arsene Wenger by Charles Hawtrey
    David Gold by Terry Scott
    and Big Sam by Hattie Jacques

    ReplyDelete
  131. Apparently Hattie is a fan of long balls

    ReplyDelete
  132. Avram Grant by Bernard Bresslaw
    Woy Hodgson by Eric Sykes
    And Sven by Leslie Phillips.....Ding Dong

    ReplyDelete
  133. JT and Cashly played by Barbara Windsor.

    Why not? They are the biggest boobs in the PL.

    ReplyDelete
  134. Surely JT would be played by Joan Sims and Fat Frank by Jim Dale

    It could be called "Carry on up the Bridge('s missus)"

    ReplyDelete
  135. Spitfire said...
    Oh, Bolton arent getting hold of Wilshire unless they promise us 6 points and a goal diff of 10 in the league.

    Fine by me.

    TrotterUSA said...
    well, World Cup Glory in 2014 is assured, the journey begins tomorrow. COME ON ENGLAND

    There is something wonderful and also sad about this statement. And inspirational. Well done Trotsky :)

    ReplyDelete
  136. H....Head to head league? Do you have the pin number etc? I only did the main one....GAAAAA!

    BlueHellsBells is probably still licking her wounds from sundays game (dont worry this is a tactic i use on the missus when i want a reaction.....normally she comes up with a witty retort and a smack round the head....lets hope BHB will just sign up and kick my arse in the head to head)

    ReplyDelete
  137. Yeah FBH, i like Trosky's optimism as well.

    ReplyDelete
  138. TrotterUSA said...
    hey FBH, The Boro is on our telly, a new first. The Yankee programmers only pick the best!

    (FBH fills up with pride - world domination starteh here - inspiured by Trotts passion (not the JT way_ for engerland)

    ReplyDelete
  139. Hi fbh, glad you liked my user profile.

    Glad to see MacBoro did well tonight, WGS would have been in real Barney if they messed that one up.

    ReplyDelete
  140. I has better look at the ol' FFL team...i just did an auto select for starters.

    I tend to forget to change the team which means i start off ok but after a month i plummet.

    Im thinking.......David James, Gary Neville, Jonathan Woodgate, William Gallas, Wayne Bridge, Owen Hargreaves, Mascherano, Ballack, Micheal Owen, Alan Smith & Pavlechenko.

    Piece of piss this managing lark.

    ReplyDelete
  141. makes me wonder why i dont have a job.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Cheers H.....i will go and sign up now.

    ReplyDelete
  143. Scholesy - you showed your hand too soon mate - otherwise me thinks you had da chance!!

    p.s. Hope bairn ok :)

    ReplyDelete
  144. I did the auto select thing too, the git gave me Owen and Hernandez up front and Almunia in goal.

    Took me hours to put a team together. Have all the prices gone up? I had Cesc, Rooney, Drogba and Tevez last time, no chance of pulling that off this time around.

    ReplyDelete
  145. Ha ha yeah im busted now FBH. The weird thing is my auto team selection does actually include Michael Owen & Wayne Bridge! Also includes Babel!

    Thanks mate, he is doing well. One of the benefits of the no job thing. Plenty of time with the kids and being there for the things i normally miss out on.

    ReplyDelete
  146. H, Hernandez was auto selected on the bench!

    This has probably been said before, but does Peter Crouch have the most ironic name in football?

    My mate came up with Robbie Savage.

    ReplyDelete
  147. I think that's a standard team then, as I had Babel too, didn't notice Bridge though.

    ReplyDelete
  148. On the flip side:-

    Robbie Keane - There is an understatement

    Hilario - Well i know he hasnt really done much wrong but my gut feel is he isnt that good.

    ReplyDelete
  149. Robbie Fowler?

    Wierdest thing I ever heard during a game was when a commentater said; "goed gezien, Blind" (well spotted (Danny) Blind)

    ReplyDelete
  150. ha ha Danny Blind, now he was a good player. Bit like Baresi from my (normally poor) memory.

    ReplyDelete
  151. Blind is an Ajax legend, he's still there as a director of something or the other. Can't see (oops) him leaving there anytime soon.

    ReplyDelete
  152. ha ha he was a good reader of the game and could always spot a pass.......(groan)

    ReplyDelete
  153. Fulham's new manager Mark Hughes will make Algeria defender Rafik Halliche his first signing. The 23-year-old Benfica centre-back, who played for his country against England at the World Cup, will join for £1.8m.
    Full story: Daily Mirror
    --------
    What a difference a year makes, eh?

    This time last year he was spending like a drunken sailor.

    Ironically he's gone from the equivalent of shopping at Harrods with the sheikh's money to remudging through the bargain basements with money from the guy who owns Harrods

    ReplyDelete
  154. blimey, you lot still up.....USA v Brazil just started here, Yanks denied a pen after 2 mins, might just be their last chance.

    ReplyDelete
  155. bit harsh trott, i know the gags werent that good.....

    ReplyDelete
  156. Has that Blind bloke been in the Dungheap yet? Bet he asks for a H2 Special BrAle

    ReplyDelete
  157. Aston Villa board member General Charles C Krulak, a friend of chairman Randy Lerner, has hit out at former manager Martin O'Neill for thinking he was bigger than the club. O'Neill made a shock exit from Villa Park on Monday.
    Full story: Daily Mirror
    =====

    General Krulak?
    Sounds like an enemy of the USS Enterprise

    ReplyDelete
  158. Very good Trott.

    I'd probably seve him a Whisky on the rocks (with extra eyes)

    ReplyDelete
  159. go easy on him, he'll have double vision if you mix his drinks

    ReplyDelete
  160. He should be alright, I serve my drinks in thick glasses.

    ReplyDelete
  161. Ha Ha, well that's me all punned out.

    Time for bed, night all.

    BOOOIIINNNNG

    ReplyDelete
  162. night fellas....been busy trying to fix a mates pc.....not having any of it. So im gonna call it quits....speak soon H, Trott.

    ReplyDelete
  163. Well I had my team all set up, only now 2 of my three strikers are doubtful for the weekend? The fuck have they been doing in the off season?

    H, you probably could still do that with those players ... it'll mean the rest of your team would be made upp with players from Blackpool and West Brom though ...

    ReplyDelete
  164. Looks like I'll be having Rooney and Anelka if Drogba and bent can't play.

    ReplyDelete
  165. And now we're being linked with Gallas ... press are getting desperate for news these days ...

    I'll eat all my remaining hats if he, or anyone else involved with Arsenal at any point in their careers fetch up at WHL before the transfer deadline.

    ReplyDelete
  166. Morning lads.
    How's it going. I understand England are Hungry for Hungary....... well, that's what one of them papers say this side. But as far as i know it is so fucking cold I'm wondering what happened to me because when I left Europe somebody told me I'm coming to hell

    ReplyDelete
  167. Jack Wilshire, only a young lad with a handful of top class games under his belt. Given a call up to the England squad to give him a bit of experience as he is, undoubtably, going to play for the senior team in the not so distant future. That's pretty much the story. Cue the BBC..... 'Wilshire. England Prodigy'. I imagine their highly respected bloggers are currently writing the 'England expects' article with Lord Kitchener pointing his fat finger at the young lad. FFS, give the boy a chance.
    Is it sad that I'm losing sleep over my fantasy team selection? The season hasn't even fucking started yet.

    ReplyDelete
  168. ScholesTheGingerPrince said...
    H, Hernandez was auto selected on the bench!

    This has probably been said before, but does Peter Crouch have the most ironic name in football?

    My mate came up with Robbie Savage.

    ________________________________________________

    Re Crouch... when I pointed out the irony someone said that given the bloke was constantly ducking his head down to get through doorways (or more recently to dodge flying crockery) maybe Crouch is the perfect name.
    Almost as perfect as the 'flamboyant' Mexican keeper Campo. Always thought he might end up replacing Bill Owen on Last of the Summer Wine to give the great yawn of a prog a new twist.

    ReplyDelete
  169. YOU want any ironic names? Check this out.

    http://www.midfielddynamo.com/players/players_bestnames.htm

    My all time favorite is this Zimbo guy called Have-A-Look Dube

    ReplyDelete
  170. Isn't there a bloke playing up in Scotland called Goodwillie? Have to ask his missus if that's ironic or not.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Goodwillie? I bet his first name is Dick

    ReplyDelete
  172. Goodwillie?
    My missus has cousins with the surname Badcock. It's true I tell yer.

    ReplyDelete
  173. BTW good checklist Monk. I'm a fan of the following names: Danny Invincible; Jermaine McSporran; Ces Podd (a top lad who had all sorts of racist rubbish to put up with in the 70s)

    ReplyDelete
  174. STGP - in the words of Scholesey himelf after teh Charity Shield on Sunday, "it’s only pre-season" so I will treat it with the contempt it deserves.

    H2H - thanks for invite to join head-to-head, wll do that now.

    In 'normal' FFL did what I did last year and spent so much on strikers and defence that have had to autofill midfield as have hardly heard of any of the ones I could afford. On plus side, I think I finished about 350th last year so can only improve on that if only for the fact there are less than 50 people signed up.

    Am surprised Gordon Strachan hasn't signed up Jermain McSporran on the strength of his name alone.

    ReplyDelete
  175. BHB - oooh you are playing the cold shoulder card a bit early. Oh...ok....look....Dress, flowers or chocolates?

    (this ALWAYS works on mrs scholesy)

    ReplyDelete
  176. Robbo....RE Crouch...yeah i suppose when you think about it he does a lot of that. He looks like he is a puppet of sorts, all arms and legs. Like summat out of thunderbirds.

    ReplyDelete
  177. good link monk. i liked:-

    Wayne Wanklyn

    Former winger who appeared alongside Steve Death in Reading's assault on the 4th Division back in 1978-79. What were his parents thinking of ?

    Wonder if Woy would have bought him for liverpool.

    ReplyDelete
  178. Orlando Trustfull

    The classy Dutch midfielder played a couple of time for Holland before moving to Sheffield Wednesday where, bizarrely, he played a trial game under the guise of one 'Ryan Twerton'. Married to the delightfully named TV presenter Quinty Trustfull.

    No wonder he never got to Chelsea.......

    ReplyDelete
  179. League Cup - bring on the next round - hope we get a big team - oh hang on

    ReplyDelete