Tuesday, 24 August 2010

Arteta for Art's Sake

My Boro pals and me are taking rusty nails and shards of glass to the enxt home game. Not to pelt the team with. We’re going to stick them into our palms Harry Palmer style so that we don’t nod off.

'You're only supposed to bore the bloody draws off'

The main question in the boozer after was nowt to with Boro, mind: ‘If you were the England manager would you select Spaniard Mikel Arteta?’

It’s complicated of course. If you were that person you’d be an Italian. You’d also be very content to select the Canadian Owen Hargreaves were he not spending more time on a couch than the average Mid-West American family.

Furthermore, as we’re told repeatedly, England already possess some World Class midfielders whose place of birth is not an issue – although if that isn’t a loose use of World Class then I’m a Sydney Drag Queen (NB I’m not). I mean Spain have got loads of world-class midfielders or we wouldn’t be talking about Arteta cos he would’ve got in their team by now.

I like Arteta. He’s - ooh what’s that thing we’ve been lacking – creative. But the point is can we trust someone with a funny accent to play with his heart and soul? To wear the Three Lions with pride? To dig in when our backs are against the wall? Ermm, not necessarily. But given that we can’t trust any other hobbling halfwit who went to South Africa either I suggest being born and raised here doesn’t much matter any more.

To me, it’s one of them things they call a no-brainer – I hate that expression. Borrowed from the Yanks I bet. Actually while we’re on the subject here are some more stupid phrases that media twats roll out – actually ‘rolling out’! There’s one! I’m doing it meself!

Add to that ‘going forward’ which means nowt less than ‘in the near future’. Presumably when these spokesturdsmen talk about what happened yesterday they say ‘Going backward’. I heard some council exec calling the preparation for a Christmas cold spell being a ‘winterisation’ progamme.

It’s all corporate speak isn’t it? These wanker-bankers haven’t just nicked all our money they’ve flooded common or garden English with a load of babbling, meaningless shite!

Where was I? Ah, si. Senor Arteta.

'Hof course Hi 'em Hinglish! Mekka me captain and I sleepa with your wife!'

Look, pick him. If his national form bears no resemblance to his club form then we’ll know he’s truly English and we can embrace and/or jeer the poor bastard till he retires from the international game at 30 cos he hasn’t got the cojones to carry on. Then Capello can recall Beckham from his bath chair/UN ambassador role and all will be almost all right with the world.

It’s been a weekend of storms in teacups. ’Arry has had to defend the signing of William Gallas, which some WHL regulars have suggested is about as appropriate as making Sir Alex Ferguson Chairman of the BBC.

I mean I’m all for a bit of needle between teams but surely Gallas can play for who the hell he likes and frankly good luck to whoever takes him on. As it is his Redknapp knows the territory of treachery well – I understand that in the bibles in churches across the South Coast of England Jesus Christ is betrayed by an ugly ginger bloke with a twitch and a bit of a marf on him.

The wisdom of the move is not financial – he’s come in on a free – or indeed morally questionable. It’s simply that Gallas has moments of nut-jobbery that, even in a world where a sane French footballer is scarcer than a faithful English one, to take him on at all would seem well bloody risky.

Wenger once berated him for a having a ciggie on his way home from a club but I’d like to leave that one to one side. Yes he was club captain but for Christ’s sake smokers need role models too!

Perhaps of more concern is that admission that if Chelsea didn’t release him he’d score own goals. And he’s a decent finisher is Gallas. If, say, Emile Heskey made the same pledge right now Villa fans could laugh it off with a ‘No chance’.
There was also William’s wobbly moment at Birmingham a while back in the aftermath of Eduardo’s leg-shattering when he sat in a strop on the pitch, displaying all the leadership skills of Violet Elizabeth Bott.

But if he can put the adolescent tizzies behind him and put out them fags then I reckon Redknapp’s got a flaming bargain particularly in the light of the fact most Spurs centre-backs seemed to have a loyalty card a the local Casualty department.

If Capello is watching out for bright new English talent then there’s a glimmer of hope in Andy Carroll. Six foot three, skin and bone, bad hair... he’s in danger of becoming the new Mark Hateley. I reckon he’s better than that, mind.

Apart from Hansen inexplicably slagging off Theo Walcott after twatting Blackpool on MOTD (he scored a hat-trick, you miserable git! What next? ‘That Joe Hart – calls himself a keeper but look at his goalscoring record at club level – terrible!’) the Geordies 6-0 duffing up of Villa was the most incredible game of the weekend.

Joey Barton’s ‘tache has gone, celebrated inevitably with a gesture that the dumb numpty made look a bit Nazi. Of course he could have gone the whole hog and put a swastika on his arm but you don’t get away with that sort of thing unless your surname’s Windsor.

And grin of the week was Fergie being left fuming after United’s tame draw at Fulham. Sad to see he still wasn’t up for talking to the BBC about it. We get Mike Phelan instead who had a charisma bypass operation at the age of 17. Sigh.

Still even Phelan surpassed the entertainment on offer at the Riverside last weekend. Seriously I’ve had more fun scraping old bits of food out of our dishwasher. But that’s the thing with Strachan. He’ll admit it. And somehow you can’t help liking him.

1,140 comments:

  1. enxt home game?been taking typing lessons from FBH Robbo?

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  2. Leagues
    jacks barber shop » 5
    jacks head to head l » 3
    robbo blog league » 6
    robbo head to head l » 4

    Thought I'd post this as its as high as I'll get this season.........

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  3. Spot on about "Our Mikky" aka "the best little Spaniard we know" (spotted my allegiance yet?) Robbo - a shoo-in (is that more meejabollocks speak?) for Ingerland's lethargic midfield.
    Hansen, for an ex-Shi*e, speaks a lot of sense normally unlike that dour twot Lawrenson, but his slagging of Walcott was odd, even Lineaker noticed it!
    Great result for Citeh last night, means altho' we're 16th we're above t'Shi*e!!

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  4. Arteta for England?I don't think so.He's a very good player but England need to look forward.Ditch the golden shower and play the young lads out there.Aim for WC2014,introduce better coaching and training facilities.

    Failing that,get Derren Brown to hypnotise the entire squad and convince them all that they're Pele.

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  5. Howdy all, been following for a while and decided that a Scottish influence was needed in this blog. I can help translate any rumblings coming out of boro, (if needs be) and confirm that fergies purple face is a permanent side affect of staying in Govan for too long.

    I wouldn't mind seeing Arteta playing for England (well maybe I would a bit), good nifty player that I've liked since he played with Rangers, and its a shame he hasn't been able to prove himself at the international level.

    Also, 9th in the league, copying Ngog here coz its probably my peak eh, just call me Blackburn.

    Love the blog Robbo and keep up the bloody good work.

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  6. Actually I'm on the horns of a dilemma (can be bloody painful that) re Arteta/Ingerland interaction. Me head says yay, why not, me ticker says no way Jose, we need proper Englishmen like that Wilshire fella, or Rodwell?

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  7. Now't wrong with having Gallas at Spurs ...unless you've declared you'd eat your hats if an ex Arsenal player would fetch up at WHL before the end of the transfer window.

    Seriously though, one more CB who'll get stuck in can't be a bad thing around the place.

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  8. So Gallas is the stop gap while King is wrapped in bubblewrap, only to be released for clashes against the big teams and possibly Champs League group games/Eurhopeless league games?

    Maybe not as good as Woody that Gallas lad, but at least he'll manage to get through a game without shattering into tiny pieces.

    My biggest concern would be that, Tottenham are relying on King and 'Arry to keep him in line, can't see anyone else on the team with enough cojones to keep him in place.

    Star, may I recommend brown sauce to accompany the hats, the watered down chippy version instead of hp, it'll make it easier to digest.

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  9. Bloody hell Stalin_bbz, you took away my no. 9 spot!
    Top blog robbo, that heskey 'no chance' part had me in splits!

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  10. Bloody hell Stalin_bbz, you took away my no. 9 spot!
    Top blog robbo, that heskey 'no chance' part had me in splits!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Bloody hell Stalin_bbz, you took away my no. 9 spot!
    Top blog robbo, that heskey 'no chance' part had me in splits!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Bloody hell Stalin_bbz, you took away my no. 9 spot!
    Top blog robbo, that heskey 'no chance' part had me in splits!

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  13. I thought Gallas left Arsenal cos they only offered him a 1 year contract, but he wanted 2 years?

    Is that correct?? If so, why has he signed a 1 year contract at Spurs?

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  14. Good stuff Robbo.

    Just wanted to 'reach out' to say no Arteta for England. He's a good un mind but if we win owt, the Spaniards will be laughing their bollocks off, if we have to clutch at straws and bring bloody foreigners into what is supposed to be a team (and management) of Englishmen then I for one will be looking at my Grandmother's ancestry.

    Having said that, I think it's disgusting that the FA have already announced that the next England manager will be English!

    Along with "reach out", "Just wanted to give you the heads up" annoys the piss out of me.

    I'll catch ya later.

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  15. Ok Flying Squid, you have made your point??!!

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  16. and by the way, the most annoying expression of all, probably also given us by the Yanks....my name is Michael Caine.

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  17. Sorry squid,I didn't quite catch what you said.You couldn't repeat it for me could you?

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  18. Obviously I rated Arteta highly and have persisted with him in my FFL. But he has'nt performed yet.
    I dont think Arteta can fit into English style of play, I will not pick him ahead of Barry's, Wilshere's, Young's, Milner's, Lennon's, Johnson's, et al.

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  19. Yes Squiddy, my surge up the table from 26th to 9th was so good it probably did merit the repetitions.

    I think Arteta would be a good stop gap for 2012 while the likes of Rodwell and Wilshere get a couple of years in the bag at their clubs.

    If they don't take him, I applaud the FA for not following the standards of the cricket....

    ugh, don't get me started on the blummin ammmurrricans, the most annoying expression I've encountered is "Hey buddy, do you know the way to [insert location here]?"

    While this is all fine and well, however, 20 times a fooking day is not. Learn to google. rant over.

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  20. Still no signs of Squillaci. Where is he?

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  21. He's French SS11, so, I have no idea..........

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  22. Man walks into WHSmith and says "Do you have that new self-help book for men with really small dicks?"
    Girl says "It's not in yet."
    He replies "Yeah that's the one".

    ReplyDelete
  23. I bought a dog the otherday from a blacksmith. As soon as I took him home, he made a bolt for the door.

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  24. When I was a kid (yes not long ago Jacks I know), Mum would send me to the shops with 50p. I could get a mars bar, bag of pick n mix, a comic book, can of lilt, big bag of monster munch, handful of penny sweets, stick on tattoos and a gob stopper AND still come home with loads of change.

    You cant do that these days.............

    And why?













    Fucking CCTV!!

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  25. "I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday and I’ll tell you what: never again.”






    That's the best one liner at the current edinburgh festival apparently.

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  26. Thinking about it, Im pretty sure Jacks posted that in the other blog, so I'll shut up and go back in my corner.


    Oh and hey, all this Arteta talk and you don't realise how lucky you lot are-us Scots have the hopes of a nation pinned on the return of auld davie weir. Huzzah.

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  27. Ngog,I would never say you were a kid.

    A lamb maybe,but never a kid.

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  28. Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parent of the fat kid on sports day.

    As a kid I was made to walk the plank.We couldn't afford a dog.

    I've just been on a once in a lifetime holiday.I tell you what,never again.

    Dave drowned.So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifejacket.Well,it's what he would have wanted.

    Wooden spoons are great.You can either use them to prepare food,or if you can't be bothered with that,just write a number on one and walk into a pub.

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  29. I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics.

    Two birds,one stone.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands....I say "bought"-actually I nicked it off a short,fat geordie kid.

    ReplyDelete
  31. What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch?

    Names.

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  32. For Vanessa Feltz,life is like a box of chocolates-empty.

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  33. Yep I think that polishes the list off.



    Did you hear about the vegan that died last week? There was a big turnip at his funeral.

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  34. Oi, stop nicking all those one liners from the Beeb's Edinburgh Fringe article!

    I'm so old I can remember when beer was free....

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  35. The Independent - a dry but informative read, preferable to The Guardian which is far too up itself and to the Torygraph (for obvious reasons). Never read The Times, it is tainted by the hand of Murdoch.

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  36. woohoo..up from 40th to 13th in the FFL...playing the wildcard for gameweek 2 wasnt such a bad gamble after all..its you against me this week Jay...2 loser scousers up against each other...yikes..did you notice we're 4th from bottom right now..painful.

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  37. ...and we're 5th from bottom, less painful, and indeed funny!

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  38. jacksofbuxton said...

    Sorry squid,I didn't quite catch what you said.You couldn't repeat it for me could you?
    ==============================================

    I'd hate to disappoint you Jacks, but....

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  39. Roger..haha..i had to go back and check who 5th from bottom were. indeed it is funny. tragi-comic almost.

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  40. Afternoon all.

    Good stuff Robbo!!!!

    "I like Arteta. He’s - ooh what’s that thing we’ve been lacking – creative. But the point is can we trust someone with a funny accent to play with his heart and soul?"

    Gazza did alright, didn't he?

    I don't think Arteta should play for England, the same way I didn't want Almunia playing for England (we dodged the bullet almost as well as he dodges crosses on that one) Then again, I didn't want Sven or Fab as manager.
    To repersent a country there should be more of a requisite then just having lived there for a few years. How old is Arteta anyway? Give one of the younger lads a crack.
    Building for tomorrow starts today!! (How Americanny does that sound?)

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  41. stalin_bbz said...
    "I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday and I’ll tell you what: never again.”






    That's the best one liner at the current edinburgh festival apparently.

    ________________________________________________

    Yep but even its author Tim Vine said it wasn't even the best gag of his show so who's picking these things is well, ahem, beyond a joke.

    One of the 'worst ones' was: 'I like to play chess with bald men in the park - although it's hard to find 32 of them.' Emo Phillips. Makes me chuckle.

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  42. H2H - Kind of agree on the Arteta thing I just don't really give a fig that he's Spanish. I mean every other international side comes with a free Brazilian (that gag again) so why can't we have a half-decent Spaniard? Having said that it's not exactly forward-looking.

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  43. The Tees Mouth said...


    Yep but even its author Tim Vine said it wasn't even the best gag of his show so who's picking these things is well, ahem, beyond a joke.

    One of the 'worst ones' was: 'I like to play chess with bald men in the park - although it's hard to find 32 of them.' Emo Phillips. Makes me chuckle.

    ------------------------------------

    Surely if a certain Mr. Heskey was in edinburgh "playing" football on a stage in an England top then that would have won critical acclaim for the comedic styling on show.

    I didn't think that was to bad meself, but both the one about the vegan or the chicken merit a hefty object to be thrown at the culprit who uttered it.

    Not excited about the prospect of another Scot in your ranks Robbo? Craig Conway, saviour of dundee and slayer of Ross (County that is) could be heading down the road soon. Lucky boro.

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  44. On the other side of the coin mate.

    Why the hell would he wanna play for us?

    He's been in Blighty long enough to see how "we" turn against our own at the slightest sign of bovvah, can you imagine what the backlash would be if the lad messed up in a three lions shirt?

    Those of us old (and wise, ahem) enough to remember the whole Zola Budd fiasco will attest to the fact that you can take a decent foriegner and totally bollox 'em up by draping them in our colours.

    If, god and becks willing, we ever do win anything again, I don't want it to be tainted with, "you needed Spanish (or whatever) players to do it.

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  45. Walcott, like the other Arsenal players, is a flat track bully

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  46. H2H, I think that if England did ever win again, the respect gained for winning it with 10 Englishmen will outweigh the 1 spaniard jibe.

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  47. Anonymous said...
    Walcott, like the other Arsenal players, is a flat track bully
    ------------------------------------

    Was the the track any less flat for the rest of the players? I've been at the forefront of several anti-walcott tirades in the past meself, but give the guy credit when he does well, will ya.

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  48. Paul Scholes could yet be offered a return to the England set-up after it emerged that Fabio Capello is to ask the Manchester United midfielder to clarify his publicly expressed sense of regret at having declined a late invitation to be included in the World Cup squad.
    Full story: the Guardian
    ---
    Backward thinking??

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  49. H2 ...mate, I can certainly understand your point, but the world is so freakin mixed up with folks from everywhere settled everywhere else, that its impossible to differentiate english from england-born from 2nd-generation-english from naturalised-brit anymore. Cricket or footy, US or Australia or England, its just impossible to pick only folks whose ancestry has nothing but english blood in it. I think its a good thing, the world could do with this cross-borders mixing and matching.
    As for Arteta, he's too old. Pick someone young who meets the letter of the law and merits a place in the squad.

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  50. Anonymous said...

    Walcott, like the other Arsenal players, is a flat track bully
    ________________________
    So what you're saying is not to take him to Australia for the Ashes series?

    sounds like good advice to me.

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  51. AH, I know all about the "mixed up world", I've lived in numerous countries myself. I have an infinite with Holland, but I wouldn't call myself Dutch, even though I've lived here for over twenty years.

    If Arteta (or whoever) decided to stay in England and had kids, then I'd have no issue at all with them representing England.I don't wish to come over as a racist or xenaphobe, I just think it's wrong to play for or manage a national team that you have no "real" conection to.

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  52. Nope, I've decided that I don't want Arteta good tho' he is playing for England. Only players born here or with English born parents should qualify. A player of Mikki's ability would stroll into any Spanish team of the past, he's just unlucky that he's up against Alonso, Iniesta, Xavi, and also that Spanish managers happen to be some of the most insular (a kind word) in Europe and hate looking beyond Iberia for their players, glass ankled forwards excepted.

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  53. Holloway2Holland said...
    I don't wish to come over as a racist or xenaphobe, I just think it's wrong to play for or manage a national team that you have no "real" conection to.
    ----------------------------------------------
    Absolutely no doubt that you're no xenophobe mate, clearly evidenced by the VirtuAles youv'e been freely passing around to anyone wanting one.

    The connection the players/managers have to their national teams is money. tons of it. aint no connection more real than that (exceptions made for peeps like Becks, who also has tons of money anyway)

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  54. And a prime example is your Dutch left arm pace bowler guy(forget his name, but being the die hard cricket fan H2, I'm sure you'd know) who in the same year plays for either Australia or Holland depending on his mood, and does really well for both sides. He's just a good professional sportsman, who does well whoever happens to be his employer, simply because thats his job.

    Now to us fans, every game your country plays is always a matter of life and death, but for the players it probably is just a job. Must be hard to maintain that level of passion 365 days a year (again, unless your Becks).

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  55. Is it Dirk Nannes you're thinking of AH?

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  56. AH, sorry mate, I couldn't give a toss (or is it a spin?) about cricket.

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  57. Crickey jacks, your up here promoting my twadlle before i get a chance to... oh and i haven't said it yet but bloddy good to have you back sir... it was like red dwarf when rimmer left, or one of the taggots since fergy died. it just weren't the same...

    Cheers mate,

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  58. I knew that from previous posts you made on cricket H2..was just yanking your chain (another popular american phrase)..

    Dirk Nannes it is jacks..spot on.

    RBA..last minute surge (aka Joe Hart) saw me pip you in the FFL H2H..well played sir.

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  59. ah, joey hart was the only player i had in last nights game... he was my only hope.

    But well done AH, the better man won... i'm not wearing a hat but if i were, i'd be tipping towards anfield about now...

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  60. Why is it ok to have a cricket team full of south africans and not ok to have a football team with one or two Spaniards?

    Thing is, I reckon if any immigrant is good enough to come work here for as and do it well and decides to make blighty their home, then they are bloody well good enough to damn play for us.

    BUT! Let them show that they have made the switch of allegiance BEFORE we consider them for England and not hand them out a passport once they are assured of a place in the National Elf.


    Representing a national side is a great (the greatest ?) honour for a sportsman and some spend their lives yearning for the glory. Let those from abroad put their international careers on line by making them available for England alone and then see whats what.

    For the moment, Say NO to Arteta.

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  61. AnfieldHopeful said...
    I knew that from previous posts you made on cricket H2..was just yanking your chain (another popular american phrase)..

    ---
    We had a popular saying in 'olloway, someting about chaining yanks. ;P

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  62. Hello RBA.

    I've been very busy over the last 4 months which is why I've been AWOL.I was giving Dave Whelan and Roberto Martinez at Wigan the benefit of my coaching gifts.

    I think the results speak for themselves.

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  63. Not all doom and gloom in Wigan mind, the new range of Martinez sieves are selling like hot cakes...

    i think we should have spaniards in our team, cant hurt can it, we took a foreign emphasis with the rem and made it the best league in teh world, so lets do the same with the national team...

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  64. I might have to change my mind. All the other national teams are full of foriegners, maybe we should do the same.

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  65. Just to point up summat. Arteta hasn't exactly been out with the begging bowl round Capello's gaff (if he can get past the Dobermans and up the three-mile drive - guessing) so maybe he's not gagging for a place in the Grim Squad.

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  66. Besides... sounds like Capello's got the self-same bowl in hand and is skipping round to Scholes Towers in the near future (going forward).

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  67. Thats the thing Robbo,

    'offering' a foreigner a place in the national squad is pretty daft.

    A foreigner 'requesting'/applying to become an englishman and then putting himself on the line to be picked or not... I am fine with that.

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  68. Anybody see that lady throw a cat in a bin and close the lid?

    Created an uproar, and she is now under police protection after being named...

    I have three cats and i thought it was hillarious, i urge you all to watch the video...

    and yeah Arteta, well, who cares... i dont mind. he pays taxes don't he?


    read me blog you lot, or erm, a lady will throw you in a whellie bin and close the lid...

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1305751/Facebook-protest-woman-cat-wheelie-bin-gets-police-protection.html

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  69. Just saw cat-binner woman! Maybe she thought it was cat litter?

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  70. What a catastrophy.
    What was she thinking? I bet she's not feline so good now she's been caught.

    OK, I'll stop now.

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  71. Just watched the video. Is it that rough in Coventry you need to have two CCTV cameras on your house?

    I kept expecting the lid of the bin to pop up as the cat tried to make good his escape.

    I suggest the lady in question maybe having a bad morning due to the "change" and anything relating to pussy puts her in a bad mood.

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  72. Just read from U21 manager Pearce. He thinks it was a great decision to pick Walcott to play both for U21 and senior squads last summer and has 'clearly helped him'.

    He is going to try similar with Wilshire.

    http://bit.ly/aNMCFk
    ____________________________

    No, you half wit. Let the young players some time to recover between double duties and clubs.

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  73. I second that. Dont you dare come near Wilshire!, Mr Pearce.

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  74. why is this even being debated? arteta should never play for england because he isnt english.

    its not a question of genetics because we are and always have been a nation of mongrels but a question of cultural affinity.

    hargeves et al at last have some tangential claim to englishness. arteta couldnt be more spanish if he dressed up as a matador and pushed a donkey off a church roof.

    international football is already worse than to level club football but it still says something about national identity, like club football USED to say something about local community identity.

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  75. See, that's what I was trying to say too, blogs. You just did it better.

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  76. Blogs..its being debated because there has to be a general rule as what "being english" means. As you rightly point out, Arteta is more spanish than anyone, and hargreaves has possibly some claim to being english. Surely, everyone asking to/being asked to play for england (or any country) cannot be judged so subjectively on whether or not someone thinks they "at last have some tangential claim to englishness"... its got to be more black and white than that to avoid this process for every bastard wanting to play for a country other than his own. Hence, if there is a rule and someone qualifies then he is in, even if dressed as a matador. And to me, if the guy with the job of selecting the players can be Italian....

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  77. Fellow bloggers,

    any recommendations/ suggestions for tonight's game?

    Which one to watch?

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  78. AH - i was being rhetorical, i know why its being debated. my hyperbolic point is that i wish it wasnt at issue.

    theres noting subjective about judging whether someone has grown up in an english cultural context - tht can be in england or with english parents. it souldnt be through adults - arteta - qualifying through residency.

    would you feel passionately proud that a team of spaniards and brazilians had won th world cup for england? id just feel embarrassed.

    if the rules permit this then theres a problem with the rules.

    it shouldnt even be at issue because its a slippery slope to National Club Football, with Club England as a pathetic parody of arsenal and chelsea's minimal englishness

    if you think englishness means nothing then fine, i think thats a supportable position but it means something to me.

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  79. I'm not arguing that you're wrong blogs..there is possibly no right/wrong here, just differences of opinion. There might very possibly be something wrong with the rules (as in the obvious case of Dirk Nannes), but they are there because otherwise it is indeed subjective - just english born or through english parents, how about children of parents who got their citizenship through residency..or someone who became a citizen by marrying an english guy/gal etc...see, lots of subjectivity there. The only way out is a rule that is not unfair to anyone (being fair and just are other english qualities of yore not to be forgotten).

    "would you feel passionately proud that a team of spaniards and brazilians had won th world cup for england?" - if they did win the cup by getting into the english team, they'd be english, not spaniards or brazilian. I feel real passionate when Pietersen wins a game of cricket (sorry H2) for England.

    As long as they have to chuck away their other nationality and cant keep swapping countries they play for (doing a Nannes) its fine. As spit says - they need to commit to the nation first.

    Again, dont know why we're arguing about this-neither arteta nor capello are begging each other right now are they.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Oi Boro!!! you are a goal down against Milwall.

    Get your shit together.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Did Arteta say he is desperate to play for England? Why not choose one of the young lads and let him grow into the role?
    Arteta is too old anyway to be of any long term benefit,but then the manager does not even feel any thing when the team loses because he is not English!

    ReplyDelete
  82. Just in from Tryping Class! Wazzup?

    ReplyDelete
  83. Only one thing matters this year (apart from pubic debt) - promotion!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  84. Robbo - re the Sheff u game - I felt the need to apologise to your followers on behalf of Boro fans the world over - so I did - it was painfull - and we are now 2 down v Milwall.

    ReplyDelete
  85. I'm personally happy Blackpool are out of the Carling Cup, but it doesn't bode well for us being beaten by MK Dons, full respect to them though....ooohh I feel queasy

    ReplyDelete
  86. AH - thats all a bit too sophisticated and relativistic for me, mate. i take the simpler view that HE'S SPANISH. i dont really care if the footie rules say he isnt.

    is national identity an elective affinity you can throw away? "today i shall be...Norwegian. tomorrow Im going to give Ghanaian a go"? not for me it isnt

    if you can throw away one national identity why cant you throw away the new one? thats illogical

    so what next.... the best players to throw away their identities to play for the richer countries with no talent of their own, as in club football?...... a quota of foreigners in each national team?..... finally a FIFA requirement of 5 homegrown players in each national squad?

    or how about we say - if you didnt grow up - ie form your identity - in england OR if your mum (as with Kev Pieterson) and dad arent english, then how about we say:

    "Oi - youre foreign mate, nowt wrong with that but you shall NEVER wear the 4 lions, Signor Arteta"

    i actually feel quite strongly about this because i dont want to see national football become as compromised and deracinated as club football.

    ReplyDelete
  87. sorry if this has already been pointed out, but tame draw?!
    ManU/Fulham was by all accounts probably the most thrilling 90 of this young season, so i'm afraid you've missed the mark by reducing it to "tame draw"

    even as a neutral, sorry you didn't catch it... excellent football from start to finish.

    that said, i'll gladly sign your Arteta for Inglaterra petition... it can only add to the perpetual comedy that is Three Lions Footy

    ReplyDelete
  88. blogs - I've been called many things in my time mate, but to call me sophisticated is crossing the line, so I shall end the argument (and also coz i cant think of anything else to say except we're both entitled to our opinions)...

    this is funny though - "Usain Bolt tips Man Utd to win title race" - er..he does know its not a running race right? suddenly everyone's an octopus.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Robbo - great blog! I laughed out loud several times when reading it.

    I think the lack of modding really helps. Much more like the pub type chats that we all like.

    I dont think arteta is the answer, but lets let the young lads play a bit more prem football before we start playing them in our national team.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Check this out;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLHDzqTKajM

    OK, 'arry is similar to Bush and Willie to Obama, still funny though.

    ReplyDelete
  91. Arteta should be allowed to play for England, or any country for that matter, but only after having been a citizen (not a resident - any twat can be a resident) of that fair land for 3 to 5 years and he should only ever be allowed to play for one nation throughout his career.

    Most people have not had the good fortune to be born in a country as hallowed and favoured as our sacred isle and have had to carry the burden of being brought into this world in countries as perfidious and horrendous as Spain, North Korea or Afghanistan. If those people make the effort to come and make a new life, in a new country, and fully commit to doing so by becoming a citizen then, after a period sufficient enough to show their commitment is complete, they should be allowed to pull on the 3 lions and represent us at a sporting event. FFS the armed forces would let them die for our country so letting them kick a ball for it is not too big a step.

    ReplyDelete
  92. ello scholesy and zebedee have you been away for some time or have i?

    ReplyDelete
  93. ARTETA IS SPANISH!

    HIS NAME IS MIKEL. THATS NOT ENGLISH.

    IT WOULD BE MICHAEL IF IT WAS

    HIS LAST NAME IS ARMATRAIAN AS IN ARMA TRYIN TO PLAY FOR ENGLAND BUT THEY WONT LET ME BECAUSE IM SPANISH

    SPANISH PEOPLE PLAY FOR SPAIN.

    SPANISH PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN ENGLND FOR (interlude while he checks wikipedia) FIVE YEARS DO NOT BECOME ENGLISH

    AND HES NOT ELIGIBLE ANYWAY as he was not a multi-nationality holder when he represented Spain U21.

    Article 18

    1. If a Player has more than one nationality, or if a Player acquires a new nationality, or if a Player is eligible to play for several representative teams due to nationality, he may, only once, request to change the Association for which he is eligible to play international matches to the Association of another country of which he holds nationality, subject to the following conditions:
    (a) He has not played a match (either in full or in part) in an official competition at “A” international level [i.e. non-friendly] for his current Association [i.e. Spain for Arteta], and at the time of his first full or partial appearance in an international match in an official competition for his current Association [i.e. Spain for Arteta], he already had the nationality [i.e. British] of the representative team for which he wishes to play.

    –FIFA Statutes (August 2009 Edition)

    ReplyDelete
  94. Double........ well I'm full of dutch courage most of the time, *burp*

    Nah, seriously, I'd never class myself as dutch and I've lived here about five times as long as Artyfarty has lived in Blighty.

    ReplyDelete
  95. If Arteta is eligable for a British passport, then wouldn't he also by definition have just as much right to play for Scotland, Wales or N.Ireland?

    A slippery slope my friends.

    ReplyDelete
  96. mind you dont drink the profits mate.

    i loved holland but i sometimes found it hard to get up in the mornng. at the time i thought i was from being below sea level but in retrospect it was because i was stoned half the time and drunk the other half

    ReplyDelete
  97. Article 18 suggests he's eligible for Spain and none other, H

    ReplyDelete
  98. If he's never played for the full International side (?) then he can still change, I think.
    Didn't one of the Boatangs first play for Germany at under 21 level and then decide to represent Ghana at full level? I think Frimpong is having doubts about continuing playing for England, although these players do actually have links (parential) to the other countries unlike Arteta who is entirely Spanish.
    -----

    "mind you dont drink the profits mate."

    What the hell else am I gonna do with 'em? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  99. I just saw that Hansen (on Walcott) section from the weekends MOTD, you know he must of been a bit harsh when Lineker starts defending an Arsenal player.

    Ian Wright thought he was bang out of order;

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/3108306/Alan-Hansens-Theo-Walcott-blast-is-out-of-order.html

    Belive it or not, I didn't think it was all that bad what Hansen said, a lot of it I actually quite agree with. Young Theo does look better after having the benifit of a full pre-season, but there's still vast improvements to be made, luckily he does seem to pocess the right attitude.

    For fellow ex-pats who are unable to get MOTD, you can see it here;

    http://www.footytube.com/video/arsenal-blackpool-aug21-54201

    ReplyDelete
  100. im sure youre right, H - i just copy out chunks of wikipedia and cross my fingers to create the illusion that i even think i know what im talkng about

    ReplyDelete
  101. Holloway2Holland said...

    Check this out;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLHDzqTKajM

    OK, 'arry is similar to Bush and Willie to Obama, still funny though.
    ________________________

    Triffic clip bout eh triffic lad, H2.

    Boinggggg

    ReplyDelete
  102. Thanks for posting them clips H2H2H2H2H. I have to agree with you, Hansen was talking a lot of sense.

    I may be wrong here, but wasn't Theo a striker when Arsenal bought him from Southampton and Wenger has been trying to turn him into a winger? Sort of like an anti-Henry who arrived from Juventus as a winger and Wenger turned him into one of the best strikers in the world. Maybe that's why he's not the best crosser of the ball, but when he get's more central he has success.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Been in Tokyo for a while and too busy to do anything other than lurk, hence my absence.

    I've lived in Oz for 20 years but would never consider myself Australian (I just can't go through with the lobotomy) but there are many here who were born elsewhere and are 'Aussie' through and through and would die trying to prove it. As I said earlier, I think that's a result of them originally being North Korean or something of that ilk. Arteta's only a resident (as far as I know) so should be allowed to play for anyone but Spain as he has not shown the commitment required to represent anyone else. Had he become a citizen 5 years ago and ticked all the boxes in Article 18 then why not?

    How many poles are there in the German team?

    ReplyDelete
  104. That should read 'shouldn't be allowed to play for anyone but Spain'

    ReplyDelete
  105. I will repeat what I have said before

    There are 3 Poles in the German squad. However, due to the plitical history of the last 2 centuries, when Poland didnt exist on the world map until 1917, they were born in Poland but only issued with German passports thru grandfather rights

    ReplyDelete
  106. Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp wants to sign another former Arsenal player - Real Madrid midfielder Lassana Diarra.
    Full story: Daily Mirror [Tuesday]
    ----------------
    Having already signed William Gallas is he trying to assemble a team of former Arsenal players from France? Pascal Cygan must be next on the list... Hahaha

    ReplyDelete
  107. Are we still doing the same debate, I thought it was done and dusted last night...

    So, Jack Wilshire can do much better things than Arteta does. Give Wilshire a chance to prove himself by playing regularly with boys of his age rather than playing him alongside Gerrard's.

    ReplyDelete
  108. England team for the future without featuring in those Nike ads..

    Hart
    G Johnson
    Dawson
    Shawcross
    A Cole (Capt)
    A Lennon
    G Barry
    J Wilshire
    J Milner
    W Rooney
    G Agbonlahor

    Subs
    B Foster
    A Young
    T Walcott
    K Gibbs
    P Crouch

    ReplyDelete
  109. Morning all.

    I'm not a big fan of Jim Lawton,his world still hasn't left 1966,however this isn't a bad read.

    If we're discussing England future then I'd like to mention Callum Wickham.

    Another win last night for my brave lads.I can't remember the last time we were still in the League Cup in September.

    ReplyDelete
  110. I think Huddlestone can replace Barry, and Leighton Baines has an England future. At least for the home games.

    ReplyDelete
  111. So Defoe's going to have a groin op and be out for a month .... and they didn't sort it out after the WC when they found out about it why? :s

    ReplyDelete
  112. I would assume to get through the CL qualifying round Star.You have enough strikers to see you through though.

    ReplyDelete
  113. Morning all ....bye all.

    (it's another one of those days today)

    ReplyDelete
  114. Cheers mates.
    That Was Deliberate here.

    I can't seem to get into my Fantasy Premier League team. Any tips from the lot of you? I'd appreciate it.

    -TWD

    ReplyDelete
  115. By the way, my team is called
    That Was Deliberate

    and as manager my name is listed simply by the initials

    U D

    Help!
    -TWD

    ReplyDelete
  116. TWD

    Go the the home page and click on forgotten user name,which is underneath where you log on.It will then send you details to your e-mail address.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Big, big, big night at The Lane tonight. I'll either wake up tomorrow morning, check the headlines and then have a beer for breakfast, or I'll be in a shit for a few weeks and the missus will drive me crazy by saying "it's only a game" over and over. Come on 'Arry. A win would be triffic

    ReplyDelete
  118. Jackso,

    Thanks for the tip--problem is, my gmail address got hacked, so I'm now using my Uni alumnus address. I still logged in with the same username, but my email data is, alas, lost.

    Anyone know the code for the Robbo league?

    Best,
    TWD

    Jacks, not to be importunate, but if you can invite me, without my having to post my email address, I should be most grateful.

    ReplyDelete
  119. code for main league is 41384-28795

    head to head league is 41384-28803

    ReplyDelete
  120. TWD,

    Let me know if you're in.

    If you're struggling you can e-mail me by clicking on my user name above.

    ReplyDelete
  121. Arteta should play for the Boro - that would finish his chances of palying for anyone at Intnatl level - (except Scotland) - problem solved.
    FTNFH
    FollowingTheNewFirmHurts

    Now then!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  122. Jacks, not to be importunate, but if you can invite me, without my having to post my email address

    Noel fancies Jacks - Oi Stalker - He only does Short Back & Sides - or Lionel Blair cuts :)

    ReplyDelete
  123. Why am I getting dragged into this? It was TWD not me!!

    ReplyDelete
  124. Ok Noel - My bad (another sheeeite Americanism - good point Robbo) - Oi TWD I refer you to my previous post :)

    ReplyDelete
  125. I see you've been typing with your oven gloves on again FBH.Can't find your glasses either it seems.

    ReplyDelete
  126. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/s/stoke_city/8941790.stm

    ------------------------------

    Phew ... glad Spurs dodged a bullet with that one ...

    ReplyDelete
  127. I like the ads from BT promising loads of exciting footy via them and featuring - to whet your appetite - Wes Brown, Michael Owen and Shay Given. Oh and Gareth Bale - a BT oversight, surely... they must have assumed he wouldn't start a Premier League this season either.

    ReplyDelete
  128. moments of nut-jobbery
    a duble en tendre thingy?r

    ReplyDelete
  129. My wife once complained about the lack of double entendre in our marriage.

    So I gave her one.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Bloody awful thing tripe FBH.I should know,saw plenty of it at Portman Road least season.

    That BT advert gets on my wick in so many ways.Especially watching that berk trying to run as fast as he can.What's he running for?

    ReplyDelete
  131. The ad I hate is the Halirobs - DJ thingy - what a bunch of tossers!!! So twee

    ReplyDelete
  132. Sky+ is such a fantastic thing.Don't have to put up with the crap ads any more.

    ReplyDelete
  133. Afternoon all.

    Adverts eh? Are you comparing them? Well, Go Compare...........

    ReplyDelete
  134. Liverpool's 3-0 drubbing by Manchester City on Monday has prompted manager Roy Hodgson to make a shock move for West Ham striker Carlton Cole, with the Reds prepared to offer £6m up front for the 26-year-old.
    Full story: Daily Mirror
    =============================

    Why?

    ReplyDelete
  135. Hang on - isn't Carlton Cole English? He must be worth at least 20m.

    ReplyDelete
  136. Deal-broker Keith Harris, who has assisted in the sales of West Ham, Aston Villa and Manchester City, says he is representing a mystery overseas buyer for Liverpool, with an offer of up to £500m set to be tabled to take over from the current American owners.
    Full story: Daily Express
    -----
    It's amazing what you can achieve if you stop shoving your fist up a green duck's bottom.

    ReplyDelete
  137. Portuguese forward Bebe, who Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson recently signed for £7m without watching him play, failed to make Tuesday's 16-man reserve squad to face local rivals Manchester City.
    Full story: Daily Mail
    ---
    Shades of Djemba Djemba? (so bad they named him twice)

    ReplyDelete
  138. On other stuff.

    I'm meeting this other oke his name is Donald Fuchs (Yup that's his name him fucks that one). He's 'supposedly' going to supply us with some machinery and I'm just wondering who at my company did he fuck really to get this job. But anyways, i need to get earning and so WISH ME LUCK guys.
    If I'm not back in 3 hours there's his details
    http://www.donaldfuchs.co.za/

    ReplyDelete
  139. Good luck Monk..may you earn enough to be the next 'overseas mystery buyer' for a footy club.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Hodgson is desperate to sort out the future of Javier Mascherano, who wants to move for family reasons, and has told Barcelona they will need to pay £18m in cash by the end of the weekend to secure the Argentine midfielder.
    Full story: Daily Mail
    -------

    Is family reasons a polite way of saying he's a motherfu*ker? If so, he should fit in nicely at Barca.

    ReplyDelete
  141. No doubt about that H2. Unprofessional motherf**** .... by all means go ahead and make more money, but not by screwing your current team/employer/job. he has turned out to be nothing more than an adebayor.

    ReplyDelete
  142. An Adebayor, OOOhhh, that's below the belt.

    ReplyDelete
  143. Speaking of below the belt;

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/3110245/Fabio-Capello-has-overlooked-Englands-young-stars-after-just-one-game.html

    The hacks have really got the knives out for Capello now, everything he does will be concieved as the wrong decision. So what if Wilshire's back in the under 21's (for now) the lads only 18.
    The red top media in the U.K is an utter disgrace.

    ReplyDelete
  144. I just saw a video of Capello throwing Wilshere in to a wheelie bin closing the lid and walking off. He said "whatsa the big a deal ay, you engleasehs and yous toiny brains, i put him ina in as its funnies, no?"

    what a monster.

    ReplyDelete
  145. I see capello is trying to build britains first tube train mossque to preach fundamentalist islamic anti-western propaganda every july 7th.

    ReplyDelete
  146. anyone noticed how under capellos regime britians poorer families will be £420 worse off a year...

    also, it rains more...

    ReplyDelete
  147. Oi oi guys, I'm back and Mr Fuchs didn't fuck me. And as it seems I've got me a decent bonus after this one. So, I'm going to buy F.C. Aldershots. I'm the new Sheikh of shots..........
    Well, back to normal now. Masch is an arsehole, an Adebayor is more like it.
    As for the red top, they're really amazing those ones. They just can't keep there kissers shut. Same as Alan Hansen and his fucking berating of Walcott.

    ReplyDelete
  148. leave Hansen alone, it was a sh!t hat trick.

    ReplyDelete
  149. RedBlueArmy92 said...
    anyone noticed how under capellos regime britians poorer families will be £420 worse off a year...

    also, it rains more...
    ==================================================
    ha ha ha...... RBA, you're writing for the Sun?

    ReplyDelete
  150. RedBlueArmy92 said...
    leave Hansen alone, it was a sh!t hat trick.
    ===============================
    So?!?!

    ReplyDelete
  151. i was only joking with Hansens defence he is clearly a cunt, liek all footy people at the beeb... you know who annoys me, Dan Walker.

    No reason, hes just to happy and thinks that adding he had a bacon sandwich to any rport or blog he does makes it more appealing to us thicky regular types... how thick cut smoked fried bacon sandwhich with brown sauce does he think we are?

    ReplyDelete
  152. add chilli sauce while you're at it mate. He's a kebab that Hansen me thinks

    ReplyDelete
  153. Oh Fuch - and it does rain more under cap - give me 10 mins and I am sure to find the data to prove it!!!! How am I doing in FFl - not looked - and them Young Boys - Oooooh me minge

    ReplyDelete
  154. I'm thick, but with ketchup or chilli sauce.

    Brown sauce is a burp out of the devil's bung hole and therefore only consumed by northern monkeys.

    *light's fuse, steps back*
    --
    Get rid of that Cap fellow and put Hanson, Lawro, Wrighty, Noddy and Big Ears in charge of the National team, they obviously know more about footy then anybody else.

    ReplyDelete
  155. fbh, your probably doing a lot better then me, mate.
    I was second from bottom last time I looked.

    ReplyDelete
  156. H - U talking Northern Dushland or The Grim Northern? It's important to clarifysh

    ReplyDelete
  157. You gooners will be enjoying yourself tonight no doubt - watching the Y ... (no cant say it - me spurs mate calls spurs The Y.... - Im still very uncomfortable about the term) get spanked by some lads?

    ReplyDelete
  158. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  159. I hope Spurs go through, it's no good for England if they don't. (the amount of CL places are decided by a points system) Plus, the extra games will be detremental to their PL season.

    You wanted it Spuds (better then the Y word) Now you've got it (almost)

    ReplyDelete
  160. Thanks H - I will stick to that from now on - and Go Spuds!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  161. I won't be watching their game anyway, I'll have Ajax v Dinamo Kiev on down in the Dungheap, a few of the regulars are Ajax fans, who ironically also have a nickname similar to that of the Y***.

    ReplyDelete
  162. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  163. I'm been called from the bar, can't make out if it's the missus or a beer...

    It's probably both, laterz!!

    ReplyDelete
  164. my mrs thought Yids just meant spurs fan and didn't know it was a racial slur at all... silly mare.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Steven Taylor transfer listed by Newcastle

    Taylor is currently sidelined with a shoulder injury
    Newcastle have placed central defender Steven Taylor on the transfer list.

    The 24-year-old's current contract with the Tyneside club runs out at the end of the season and the two parties have failed to agree a new deal.

    ----------------------------------------

    nothing to do with Andy Carroll breaking his jaw in a fight then

    ReplyDelete
  166. *Sneaks, back in*

    Blogs, the removed posts have even more mistakes then the one's I leave up.

    *retreats back to the bar*

    ReplyDelete
  167. RBA - I lolled - and Blog - Go Vale tonight eh?????

    ReplyDelete
  168. Mmm these korean meatbals really are the dogs bollocks

    ReplyDelete
  169. yep fbh, i think we'll just scrape a narrow shock victory 3-2

    ReplyDelete
  170. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  171. notorious pussy bin laden, Mary Bale, has now admitted that she spitefully increases her blind neighbour's electricity bills by switching all the lights on when her guide dog isn't looking.

    ReplyDelete
  172. The Millers have signed a Nigerian striker on a months contract to help le Fondre get over his goal drought

    ReplyDelete
  173. in other news, Referee on run after stabbing footballer during match

    thats one level up from a red card

    ReplyDelete
  174. I'm off to bloody Dorset tomorra. CAmping with wife, son and grandson (Wilf). It's been approx 26 years so of course it's coming in bloody floods. Bloody weather in the south. Always the same. Fortunately we're booked in to Mount Ararat campsite.

    ReplyDelete
  175. robbo in dantes divine comedy, in the 9th and deepst circle of hell we see Satan waist deep in ice, weeping tears from his six eyes, and beating his wings, whilst nearby in the corner of field, judas is camping in the rain with small children

    ReplyDelete
  176. ...for all eternity. although hes actually just thee for the week.

    ReplyDelete
  177. #3 daughter holidaying in Cornwall says as its raining so much, they're having to spend more time in the pub. That sort of arrangement should suit Robbo

    ReplyDelete
  178. "Referee Howard Webb has admitted he should have sent off midfielder Nigel de Jong in the World Cup final."

    Apparently he didn't have a good view of the incident!

    ReplyDelete
  179. I've woken up with a sore head after a party but....

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-11078116

    ReplyDelete
  180. Soooo, how come in Britain when all our clubs come together in Europe we support them, but in Greece, they go mental?


    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-11078116

    ReplyDelete
  181. mornin' Lads, up the Veil tonight!

    DeJong shouldn't have been sent off, he should have been sentenced to a week under canvas in Dorset.

    It's one of those fantastic squint-at-the tele-and pretend-it's-my team-European-nights.

    ReplyDelete
  182. Jp, St Albans via text: "I can't beloved the amount of Spurs fans that think this is a walk over. Mark my words this will be Everton-Villarreal all over again."

    ReplyDelete
  183. Errr, seems I reposted the bullet...


    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/d/dundee_utd/8937645.stm

    ReplyDelete
  184. thanks stalin..for a minute their, you were mostly redundant. next thing i expected was you saying "Go Blackpool" or summat.

    ReplyDelete