Monday, 30 August 2010

No Ball Games

Greetings from smogland. How good it is to be out of the bracing ozone-rich toff-tastic Dorset coast and back inhaling the proper man's air of Teesside. Still it weren't too bad camping n that: the rustle of the sleeping bag, the Heinz tomato soup, the glorious hot/cold/hot/cold of the shower.

Of course there are comforts that can't be replaced. I embraced Match of the Day 2 like a long-lost brother last night. That does mean trying to get your arms around Colin Murray, who is starting to resemble an over-enthusiastic blinking Ulster mole.

Getting ex-managers to pull pieces of paper out of brown envelopes? I mean you'd want George Graham on there wouldn't you? Nationwide everyone sings the Match of the Day theme? This isn't a Radio 1 bloody roadshow, this is a footy programme! I'm almost missing the straight-fringed potato-faced Baggie. Almost.


Of course Capello has named a new England squad. No place for Lennon or Huddlestone, but serial wastes of space SWP are there. Presumably so the other 21 players can have their confidence boosted. 'Sure I'm not playing well but at least I'm not that shit.' We'll see.

As a Boro fan, I'm just relieved that none of the players in the England squad is Scottish.

It takes a lot for a footy weekend to be overshadowed by any other sport in this country, so cue the Pakistan cricket team to get their sport back on to the front pages.

Frankly I'm pleased. This year's visit had been all a little tame. Not one seam picked, not one player stroppily despatched back home, not one utter refusal to carry on playing. And a lot of batting that would look pretty rum if it were in French cricket.

But wait! Here comes the News of the World to the rescue. Yes those dastardly dusky types have been at it again, bowling no balls to order. The evidence looks pretty damning and unless Perry Mason can be hired by the PCB then a lot of shit's about to hit a darned big fan.

Of course 'no balls' is a pretty good description of the PCB. Rameez Raja was on the radio describing earlier controversies where reputations of Pakistani legends were saved by a hurried covering up of the facts. It appears to happen so frequently that the PCB have single-handedly kept the trade in Persian carpets and brooms in business.

So is this a particularly Pakistani phenomenon? Ermm... no. The saintly Christian Hansie Cronje was elbow deep in manure. Warney's placed a bet or two on occasion. I seem to remember that tophole Cambridge chap Michael Atherton rubbing dirt on to a cricket ball.

But there is a suspicion in this country that a touring Pakistan team will be up to no good at some point. When Waqar and Wasim were skittling out England teams in the early 90s it was clear that the subcontinental devils were applying some strange blend of spices to the cricket ball.

Of course when we learnt to do it in 2005 it became officially known as reverse swing.

Whether Asif and Aamer - both of them, sadly, utterly brilliant with the ball in hand - will get the proper censure from the PCB is unsure. What is certain is when gambling businesses are allowing bets on the most inconsequential bits of a cricket match then sport has truly lost its way.

Spot betting is ridiculous. It's all right if you're betting your mate on raindrops going down a pane of glass or snails crossing a paving stone. But TV misses nothing these days and soon you'll be putting your five pounds/rupees/ringgits on the next fielder to break wind. (Not KP who looks like he couldn't give a fart.)

There appear to be many fixers hard at work behind the scenes of international cricket and temptations for a cricketer to earn a quick five-figure sum for, I dunno, bowling it second slip once in a while must be enormous. (You wouldn't offer money to Stephen Harmison to do this, mind - chances are he knock out middle.)

If they did cheat, it's not like Aamer or Asif manifestly altered the result of the match at Lord's, and if they trousered a wad of cash in the process then I find it, well, understandable. Although if you are going to overstep the crease than try not to do it by the length of the average swimming pool.

It doesn't make it right though. Aggers and co have been using words like 'tragedy' and 'disaster' to describe the situation. Well it's not is it? They're not floating about on a muddy torrent on a couple of roof-tiles with a babe-in-arms and a cholera epidemic round the corner.

What is tragic is that these two young lads MAY have been caught with their hands in the till at exactly the moment when thousands of their countrymen could do with a quick cash injection to save their bloody lives.

'OK America, which one them is Barack Obama?'

They tell me cricket is a religion in Pakistan. (I wish someone would tell the Taleban that.) If it is, then there's a lot of mighty edifices crumbling to the ground. The Pakistan Cricket Board simply have to ban these two lads, talented though they are, for life, and not have the shilly-shallying they've gone through with tizzy-fit masters like Shoaib and Yousuf.

If these were English lads, and let's not kid ourselves that our players aren't easily nobblable too, you'd expect nothing less.

533 comments:

  1. Haha! First, makes a change from coming in at comment 200...

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  2. Yipeeeee. Second. Makes a change about coming in at 205. Well, you beat me to it mate. Now to reading the blog

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  3. Lot of cricket this week... on the other hand... do I win something?

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  4. Yeah, ban them and teach them a lesson or 2. Thing is, it's not as if these sods are paid enough anyways. It's like telling Carlos Tevez not to score by all means and offering him £100,000 for that. Well, i guess he earned that (Well, that's a rumour, from me)

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  5. Robert....... you get a wooden medal. Matty got the first 2 medals, and i get the bronze. It ain't fair but what can we do?

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  6. After all racket about a new younger team, its back to the old boys, a lot of the "new" boys e.g. Aslhey Young and Gibbs wont get to play. I think the problem with capelo is that he has let the English press get to him. He has to pick his direction, if he wants to rebuild the team he should do so but that means actually giving the younger players time to play, settle, make mistakes, improve and gel as a team. Thank God Lampard is injured so we dont have the Gerpard conundrum. I hope Capello realises the Frank just does not do it for England. All these comments from a Nigerian.

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  7. fuck the cricketers. Its the ordinary people of pakistan i feel sorry for.

    can't seem to catch a break, do they.

    poverty, corruption, violence, humiliation

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  8. I agree with pretty much everything you've said Robbo, what concerns me is that according to the guy running the scam (the players' agent)says that most of the team are on the take and they threw the match in Australia.

    Good blog.

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  9. Yipee! I like having two medals, for being fastest... Shame it's not running. Folks would be proud.

    Anon: I agree with you about the England squad, presonally I believe that against Bulgaria who aren't one of the strongest teams they should let the youngsters play, don't demote them just because it's not a friendly. Then bench some of the older players to come on if things start to go bad or they need a figurehead to settle them.

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  10. WEll said Mr Nigerian. But as is, there's a lot of the "new" boys who're not getting game time at their respective clubs. It's up to the FA and the Premiership to sort it out. It's the EPL that controls the teams anyways, so they must get guaranteed more game time from these teams.

    And to think of it. Arsenal has now got more than 1 regular English starters in their ranks. Impressive

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  11. Thinking about it Spot Betting is stupid anyways, bookies introduced it to make more money and if they get burnt now because of it it's their own stupid faults.
    I can understand some in football (next goal) but others (next corner, next throw-in) are completely pointless.
    I remember a footballer (can't remember the name right now) I think from Southampton who put loads of money on the first throw-in in 60 seconds and from the kick off he hooved it out of play.

    The problem is there are too many types of spot betting which leave themselves open to being abused. You can find easier ways to lose money I'm sure...

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  12. Evenin' all. I have to agree with Mr/Mrs Annonymous - the England squad has a touch of the familiar to it. After the World Cup fiasco it was 'We'll completely restructure the way football is run in this country. From grass roots, to coaches to home grown players getting games.' Then England come from behind to beat Hungary 2-1 and it's 'There's no problem with English football, it's fine the way it is, otherwise we wouldn't have beaten Hungary.' Until the next embarrassing international finals exit, and then it'll all happen again.

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  13. Awesome Robbo....you are so cool with your writings.....
    "As a Boro fan, I'm just relieved that none of the players in the England squad is Scottish."

    LMAO it.....too good...

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  14. perhaps ironic that the chief sting reporter of the news of the world is also a pakistani.

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  15. just look up the fake sheikh

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  16. Welcome back Robbo, hope you enjoyed your hol's.

    Ienjoyed your bpog but I have to admit I was pretty lost a little after the brown envelope section. (Am I turning into 'Arry?)

    Personally I'd prefer watching "raindrops going down a pane of glass or snails crossing a paving stone" rather then cricket, but to each his own.

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  17. the taliban cricket club would go down a bomb in Lahore

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  18. Keown lookd like bmused school bully about to introduce school nerd unfunny murray to the blue goldfish.

    i agree, robbo, it made me realise how good adrian chles was

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  19. England coach Fabio Capello faces a defensive crisis ahead of their opening Euro 2012 qualifiers, with Rio Ferdinand and John Terry both missing.
    Full story: Daily Star
    -------
    I'd say there'd be more of a crisis if they were both available.

    This a perfect opportunity to try a new pairing.

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  20. If a 4-0 win for Pardrew wasn't enough to save his job at Southhampton, how safe is Mancini? (both have 4pts from 3 games)

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  21. Good stuff Robbo but really, I'm with H2 on this, who gives a (full) toss. What I'd like to know is will Rooney be backing himself to score the first goal?

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  22. If he has done that over the last few months he'd be broke by now Trott.

    Maybe he bet against himself scoring for England, kerching!!!

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  23. Yep, he's even dropped himself from his own FFSL team.

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  24. and how much did Monty put on world #6 Paul Casey not getting a Ryder Cup pick!!

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  25. and is Adam Bogdan really Paul Scholes' love child?

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  26. THat guy from the Harry Potter films that was in goal for your lads, Trott? (his magic would explain your 10 man come back)

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  27. Confirmation of Fulham left-back Paul Konchesky's move to Liverpool appears close after the defender was spotted at Anfield ahead of the Reds' match against West Brom.
    ---------------------------------------------

    Great. That should solve our striker problem then. er..ahem..roy..wtf are you doing signing any number of aged left backs and holding midfielders..one day to go man..get your act together will ya.

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  28. Manchester United are preparing a £10m-plus Michael Carrick bid for Everton midfielder Jack Rodwell before the transfer deadline at 1800 BST on Tuesday. (The Sun)
    -----------------------------------------------------

    Really? Seems a bit much for rodders. Not that Carricks a superstar, but must be worth atleast 8mil or so, making this an 18-20mil deal for Rodwell.

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  29. Owen Coyle must of went to Hogwarts too, he has magically transformed Bolton from a kick and rush bunch of cloggers (in the Evil Sam Allyoopsadice mould) into a technically good, great to watch, free flowing unit.

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  30. AH, that's Fergie doing one of his kamikazi signings, don't forget he spent 30mil on Rooney who was approx. 6 and a half years old at the time. (granted he looked to be about 27)
    How much did he fork out for Hans Christian Anderson and Nini?

    Bonzai!!!

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  31. I am doing better in the robbo FFL than liverpool in the EPL...i think thats really sad. And carlton cole being the best thing to look forward to on transfer deadline day - or possibly that PSV dude toivonen (what do you think of him H2?)

    If a victory can ever be uninspiring, then our win over west brom was just that. thankfully the fact that villa and citeh have lost one each to non-top 4 teams..arsenal and man u a draw each as well means that this season's gonna be real tight for spots 3 & 4. I can see that come christmas and the jan transfer window, its going to be a 2 horse race for top spot between chelski and iou, with only arsenal in with a chance of proving me wrong.

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  32. AH, the only thing I can vaguely recall about the Sweede is that he scored a hatrick against ADO Den Haag (local team at the time) a while back. He's not a player that gets much attention unlike other strikers at psv, e.g. Affeley.
    ---
    Arsenal drew against your guys at Anfield, don't think antone will view that as dropped points.
    I think the PL is Chelsea's to lose, many IOU fans (poor deluded souls) claim their teams squad is better then the Chav's, I personally can't see it, Chelsea are a very strong unit.

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  33. Just for a second Robbo, I thought you'd written a blog on the heroic antics this weekend of my FFL team, the Mighty "NoBallGamesAllowed." But it wasn't to be, still, its a mighty fine blog as usual :)

    Speaking of FFL, heyup AH, we had a close game on the H2Head this week, we were neck and neck until your citeh players let you down *snigger citeh lost haha*
    Anyway got my first win, just sorry it had to be against you pal :)


    From Robbos blog:
    "When Waqar and Wasim were skittling out England teams in the early 90s it was clear that the subcontinental devils were applying some strange blend of spices to the cricket ball.

    Of course when we learnt to do it in 2005 it became officially known as reverse swing."
    --------------------
    Hahahaha you mean when the England team spent the whole summer sucking Murray Mints and licking the shiny side of their balls!
    It may come as no surprise to some but that Welsh fella Simon Jones seemed most adept at this technique :)
    Murray's magical balls eh... oh hang on thats tennis!

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  34. H2, don't go overboard. If Zat Knight ever got clean contact our long ball distance average would go through the roof which is why our fixture V your Gooners has been rearranged as a Quidditch match. (Is Robinson really a 3 headed dog?)

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  35. RE Toivonen, he did manage 24 goals in 50 outings last time around, that's not a bad return whichever league you play in.

    I think, unlike Rafa, you can trust Woy in the transfer market.

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  36. Jay -fair play pal...old reliable Hart had to have a bad day sometime..he won the game against RBA for me so cant really complain. Silva really should be earning the huge wages I pay him, or better still I need to get rid of him (and ngog) soon, so look out for hat-tricks from both of them soon peeps (maybe not from ngog then).

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  37. True Trott.

    If Zat Knight manages to get a good clearance at the Emirates the ball could end up in the stands behind the goal



















































    at White Hart Lane.

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  38. Thats some kick H2H, especially if he was facing away from White Hart Lane

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  39. RvP is injured again... 'a few weeks' quoting BBC

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/a/arsenal/8954958.stm

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  40. The first touch is crucial. I always strongly believed that the 1st touch was what made the difference between a good and an average player so glaringly obvious, however Zat is the exception to the rule. His first touch is usually exemplary, his second touch is often disastrous.

    I'd like to take this opportunity of wishing RvP and other injured Gooners a speedy 14 day recovery.

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  41. our fixture V your Gooners has been rearranged as a Quidditch match

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    hahaha, trott

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  42. wassup Bloga? eh, Pardew's gone the way of Coppell, what a pair of Bristols

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  43. hes got a rep for putting his foot in it, trott

    you know what, i was trying to find evidence that ian holloway is the games oscar wilde.

    ive seen a few interviews, read a few quotes with a few secnd hand jokes in, cant see it myself.

    he seems like a decent bloke and dedicate father, but your SUPPOSED to be both of those things whether or not youre involved with football: headline news:

    "Football manager not a dickhead, shock"

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  44. can i just say how much i enjoyed seeing joey barton being kicked all over the park and then complaining about it to mickey mcmousey

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  45. If these were English lads, and let's not kid ourselves that our players aren't easily nobblable too, you'd expect nothing less.
    ---------------------

    well yes pakistani public opinion is as appalled as we are and english sportsmen are hardly incorruptable corinthians.

    BUT our players are paid a decent wage. im not sure thats the case for the pakistani players, which makes the crooks proferred wonga more powerful.

    and i do thik its a tragedt - i love cricket, or used to.its a fantastic game. it symbolises fair play in a way football never has never will

    when the french king was in trouble the english sent help in the form of a cricket team. they were stranded in dover by the outbreak of the revolution, too late to save the french from themselves

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  46. Pakistan - A country down the drains. Literally. As a Indian, I dont feel proud to say that whereas it should be just the opposite.

    Sad for sport.

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  47. Looong day in office, almost 15 hours.
    Corporate Audits... fuckin hell... who created them?

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  48. Matty said...
    RvP is injured again... 'a few weeks' quoting BBC

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/a/arsenal/8954958.stm
    =======================================
    But, if you read more into the article. You'd realise this "........Van Persie will miss Netherlands' European Championship qualifiers against San Marino and Finland......."
    SErves them right. They probably cost us the league last season. So it's worth faking an injury this time. We can afford him missing a few weeks while recuperating.............

    Fuck?!?!? DID I JUST WRITE THAT?!?!?

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  49. Hansie Cronje - He indeed was saint. He atleast had guts to publicy accept and apologize for his mistakes. Thats what a man of integrity does.

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  50. Another closed case against the Pakistanis is that of Bob Woolmer's death. There was a lot of cross questioning during 2007 WC... but has now become a vanished story. I will be happy if the case is opened again, I bet one of the player within team must be involved in it.

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  51. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  52. FBH

    if you are listening, had a quick scout around the HSV site about Tavares, seems he was being well shut out, forced to train with the 2nd team, and didnt even figure in their team photo.
    played a few times last year, didnt make much of an impression as I remember

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  53. So RvP is out again, surprised? Not really, he didn't look ready in the B'burn game, only upside is that it's good timing for the International break. I'd like to sugest that he tries some rhino placeta instead of that weak ars horse shit he's been injecting. (placenta, not heroine........... I hope)
    He'd be a great player if he wasn't as fragile as a middle east peace treaty.

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  54. Just watched Damned United on Gerry TV(in english), it did pose a few questions
    Were the Leeds players as unprofessional as they appeared
    Was he really unable to work alone without Pete
    At the end he was contrite with PT, was he really quieter in the later years with Forest
    At least he showed with Forest what Leeds really missed

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  55. Liverpool set sights on Eidur Gudjohnsen (Liverpoolfc.tv)
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    Fuckin hell..who next..lineker?van basten? carlton cole suddenly looking like a breath of fresh air.

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  56. Cricket!!! Waited all day for this blog post and its about cricket! I'm Nigerian; I dnt give a fig about cricket. Where's the footy?! Sunderland beat citeh's moneybags and we're talking about cricket?! Bloody 'ell! I've got to punch something...

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  57. SS11 said...
    Looong day in office, almost 15 hours.
    Corporate Audits... fuckin hell... who created them?
    -----------------
    SS, they were invented by a bunch of smug bastards who later referred to themselves as 'Corporate Auditors'

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  58. SS11 - thats just internet tittle tattle and a really serious allegation

    i know thyd just lost to irland, which the bookmakers hadnt expected (puttting it mildly), and bob woolmer was writing a book about match fixing in cricket but 2 and 2 doeant always make 4 you know

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  59. Inter Milan are preparing a shock last minute move for Cesc Fabregas, according to the Daily Mail.
    ------------------------------------------------

    Has Rafa been asleep past couple months..really, what does that man smoke? Probably not true..just part of transfer deadline day crazy talk, but would seem just like Rafa.

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  60. and here's one hot off the rumour press...Man City have offered Bolton 40 million for Petrov

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  61. anonymous - can i bring you a couple of pakistani cricketers to punch?

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  62. i think they should take it, trott and run

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  63. trot, canter, gallop, sprint. Robbie Blake is also available for 20 mil if you happen to run into the Sheikh

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  64. Anonymous said...
    Cricket!!! Waited all day for this blog post and its about cricket! I'm Nigerian; I dnt give a fig about cricket. Where's the footy?! Sunderland beat citeh's moneybags and we're talking about cricket?! Bloody 'ell! I've got to punch something...

    ----
    It's national kick Joey Barton week, I'm sure we can make it go international especialy for you.

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  65. welocome anonymous Nigerian. Are you in banking by any chance?

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  66. Anon Nigerian..if you are, could you please give that check for $254 million to Woy before tomorrow night?

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  67. AH, send your bank details and you should nave the check by tomorrow.

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  68. Hi TOne - Cheers for that - and if anything he is ANOTHER holding midfielder - Im beginning to despair of Wee Gordy - need a bloody winger or a Juninho!!!

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  69. BFh,

    Boro should bid for Hleb from Braca.

    There's your winger with Arsenal connection, available on cheap.

    Splendid.

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  70. from the boob,

    The Latics are also expected to offer Bolton £3m for their goalkeeper Ali Al Habsi. (The Times)

    ______

    Now, tell me if I am wrong, but the guy was instrumental in denying spurs goal on the weekend and they want to PAY Bolton 3 million to take him away?

    Footy, its mental, innit?

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  71. SPit - Wee Gordy is now notified :)

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  72. Rafael Benitez's first league game in charge of Inter Milan ended in a 0-0 draw at Bologna.
    ------------------------------------------

    not the brightest of starts for Rafa...Jose also suffering a 0-0 draw to start of his campaign with Madrid.

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  73. AH - were they good 0 0 or bad 0 0s :)

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  74. Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp has made a sensational bid to land Manchester City striker Emmanuel Adebayor.

    Only three words required her - what the fuck?

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  75. Required 'here', obviously. Been reading fbh too much.

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  76. First Gallas and then Adebayor?

    Party in the dressingroom at WHL.

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  77. Adebayor is as good as Drgba - wtd do I know but he is a natural goal scorerererererer.

    Im watching BBC4 - so nick off - its about some bloke who invented the chip

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  78. And I dont mean the bloke who(or whom) brought Bacon to England long time ago - like when Arsenal won things - (sorry lads)

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  79. i dont understand the Obama bit under the pic?...

    as for the cricket, defo ban the one found guilty and throw the that middle man in jail. no excuses

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  80. 30% of americans think he's moslem, MBP

    theres a rooted culture of corruption, if only it was just "one"

    anyone dim enough to bet on pakistani cricket gets whats coming tho

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  81. HAHA! americans can think..lol...and when they do have that special moment where their brain cells function they come up with 'Obama is muslim' why? cos his middle name is Hussain? or because his old man was raised a muslim? or is it because he said anyone has the right to practice their religion, or is it because he's yet to wage war on some middle eastern country...ahh yanks. more crap in them than a Mcdonalds burger.

    im from a pakistani background, my parents are from there, and its no surprise to anyone in the pakistani community that pakistani players are in the shitter for this sort of thing, they all suspected that the players must make a little on the side because well the whole country is corrupt, from the top all the way to the bottom, its allmost seen as a 'norm'. does anyone know how the customs desks work in the airports in pakistan?? its a fuckin joke. example:

    go through england customs no prob, flight nice and comfortable, land in pakistan, dont pay the custom people off bowt say couple hundreed rupees or so and they start opening up your bags and all sorts, just had family and friends come over and its like part and parcel of what you HAVE to do, you dont pay em and your gonna spend hours puttin your luggage back in your bags and risk having shit loads of it taken off ya. and dont bother running to the police, they all take a cut..

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  82. Noel said...
    Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp has made a sensational bid to land Manchester City striker Emmanuel Adebayor.
    --------------
    Holloway2Holland said...
    First Gallas and then Adebayor?
    Party in the dressingroom at WHL.
    -----------------
    If that deal happens, I bet Star will become an Arsenal fan.

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  83. blogdignag said...
    SS11 - thats just internet tittle tattle and a really serious allegation
    ----------
    Yeah I know, but did doctors prove it was a natural death? Were'nt Carribean police after that man who last entered Woolmer's hotel room as seen in CCTV footage?

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  84. Tip for the day: Do not believe or post any rumors regarding transfer news, majority clubs are broke and we wont have any blockbuster deals today. A handful few from Man City would be leaving and Aston Villa may hire a new manager.

    Thats about it. See y'all later. Time for another loooongish day.

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  85. Ohh, but do keep an eye on Arsenal Official Website for we'll be signing that German keeper.

    M Neuer was it!!?!??! OR no, not Schwarzer please.

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  86. Ruud van N back in dutch squad after excellent star to season 5 goals in 3 for HSV, presumably as cover for RvP

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  87. SS11 said...

    blogdignag said...
    SS11 - thats just internet tittle tattle and a really serious allegation
    ----------
    Yeah I know, but did doctors prove it was a natural death? Were'nt Carribean police after that man who last entered Woolmer's hotel room as seen in CCTV footage?

    _______________

    Dont forget the "Indian" doctor who conducted the postmortem was proven guilty of misconduct in more than one case falsifying evidence in other cases where as the coroner in UK rejected his findings.

    I dont trust the pakistanis to be totally blameless but i trust the spiteful indians even less.

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  88. Morning all.

    MOTD 2.Who on earth thought that Colin Murray was the man for the job.He was terrible covering the BDO darts and he hasn't got any better.Bring back Bob Wilson.

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  89. Bob Woolmer was a cardiac arrest waiting to happen.He was a 20 stone man operating in a very stressful world.

    Having said that,wasn't Salman Butt seen near a grassy knoll a few years back?

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  90. It's that time again - transfer deadline day with the BBC live text! It's the only way to watch it. I just love the comments that you get on there - 'My ex-wife's best friends dads workmate has just seen Ronaldo at Luton airport. He must be signing with Luton Town' is fairly typical fare.

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  91. Homer Simpson has got more serious health risks than Bob Woolmer. And yet more stressful is his job than Bob............. And on that analysis, BOB WOOLMER was murdered by the Pakistani bookmakers

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  92. Monk,by that analysis I conclude that your job for the South African CID is assured.

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  93. From shaunpenhaligon on Twitter: "I've just seen Diego Maradona getting in taxi at Nottingham Airport and asking to be taken to Forest ground."

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  94. Spurs going for Adebayor .... what the fuck was whoever cooked that up smoking at the time? He'd just tell us to fuck off because we'll only pay him about a third of what he's getting at City.

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  95. Yup, I'm back, and irked by the fact Spurs have gotten through some tough games only to fuck up against a dreadful Wigan team. League champions? Fuck off ....

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  96. Oh well, at least the FFL lot did me right while I was away. 63 points (anyone see a pattern here) 5th in the League and 3rd in the H2H with another win

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  97. Hmm,it seems that Napoleon got one over on Star this weekend.

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  98. And just for once there's no need to change anything about my team. I think I have my line up settled.

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  99. Actually we weren't fighting the French this weekend Jack.

    We were in Dymchurch, where they celebrate a character from a book called Dr Syn, a priest turned smuggler. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr_syn

    Basically the smugglers come up the beach with their wares and the British army had to stop them in the books, so we were playing the bad guys for a change hehe.

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  100. I'm not happy with mine, but it'll take a few weeks to get it all sorted with only 1 transfer a week. Keeper, defence and strikers are sound, but midfield is shaky.

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  101. Ah the pleasures of the Hythe to Dymchurch railway.

    Did you confiscate any decent contraband?

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  102. Not sure what to do with Defoe and Kuyt at the moment.

    Big week for me in FFL week 4.I play head to head against Baggie Mike twice and His Monkship.I just hope that the 2 good weeks I've had aren't it for the season.

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  103. Contraband? What contraband? *hiccup!*

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  104. The problem with Defoe is that 'Arry uses his strikers like Man City use their midfielders. You never know who will be starting, and they get changed during the match as well. And Kuyt is too ugly.

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  105. I'm playing KenDoddsDadsDogsDead in the H2H next ... whoever that is.

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  106. I'm pretty certain that I'll replace Defoe with Bent,not sure who to bring in to replace Quasimodo though.

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  107. Looks like we're playing some young boys in a cup competition again, well Arsenal's under 13's in the Carling cup at any rate.

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  108. You've got plenty of choice for Kuyt's replacement Jacks. Walcott is in form, but how long will that last before he's injured? I hate to say it, but Berbatov is looking good at United. He was such a class player when he was at Spurs and I thought Fergie had ruined him, but he seems to be playing more now and has a bit of confidence back. His backheel volley of a 30 yard pass to Nani on the weekend was typical of his form at Spurs.

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  109. The thing with Un**ed players is the rotation policy Fergie has.Lots of strikers to choose from.Bent is Sunderland's main man and penalty taker.The other option is to bring in a cheap player for Kuyt(Etherington or Bowyer)and blow my wad on Drogba up front.

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  110. From kakazed on Twitter: "My sister flew into London from Johannesburg last night. Siphiwe Tshabalala was on the flight as well. Fulham maybe?"

    ____________________________

    Bless,can we get FBH or Spits to put up a good one on twitter for us?Or get tone to come up with one from Germany as well?

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  111. I've been amazed over here in Australia at who is playing in the A-league - Robbie Fowler obviously, but the captain of my local team, the Newcastle Jets is Michael Bridges (remember him) and Patrick Kluivert is a manager over here. It's a footie graveyard, but not as well paid as the States.

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  112. I've been at a festival all weekend with no phone battery, internet, sleep or food, and I return to discover that the world of cricket has fallen apart thanks to our favourite cheating bastards who actually earn about the same as me playing for the national team.

    However I also learnt that football's gone back to normal. Citeh and Spurs seem to have flashed around that pan, Wolves and Newcastle had a fight, and Liverpool were saved by Torres after a barely deserved 1-0 win at home to a newly-promoted side.

    What in the name of Buddha is occurring?

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  113. Noel... if it ain't the cash it's got to be lifestyle mate. Robbie doesn't need funds, he's only slightly less wealthy than the Sultan of Brunei. It's beer-swilling, laid back, and sunny, and he won't have to have his eyeballs replicated and his ballprint taken by massive weird science just to go for a piss in an airport. Plus putting a Scouser in North Queensland is an interesting anthropological experiment anyway.

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  114. Blimey,Michael Bridges was supposed to be the next big thing.Then he seemed to discover a liking for the physio's room.

    I believe Nat Lfthouse has gone down a storm for Rockingham Rovers.

    Hello Tommy B.
    Where was the festival?

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  115. Tommy,I think Fowler is obviously looking to branch out with his property portfolio.We all live in a Robbie Fowler house.
    I thought we'd stopped exporting our criminals to Oz a few years back?

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  116. 0930: Mandeep Sanghera reports: "AC Milan have confirmed they are trying to get Manchester City forward Robinho to the San Siro. A spokesman for the Rossoneri told BBC Sport: 'Mr (Adriano) Galliani (AC Milan vice-president) is working in this direction but we will have to wait and see.'"

    _____________________
    I assume the sticking point is cash.City are only prepared to go up to £20 million for someone to take him off their hands.

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  117. Now jacks, that's just stereotyping. Not all Scousers are thieves. I was at Shambala festival, it's a hippy sort of affair, but on the plus side they're so trusting with their belongings. I'M RICH! Anyone wanna buy some bongos and a genuine representation of Gaia made from lemongrass?

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  118. Robbie sued his club last season as they ended his contract early. There aren't the same laws to protect players over here if the club ends their contracts. He said 'I'm not suing for the money, I'm suing for the rights of my fellow professionals.' A modern day Mother Theresa. Saint Robbie of North Queensland.

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  119. And some dick reckons Spurs are going after Ryan Babel .... right ...

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  120. Time running out for Arsenal to find a decent keeper.

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  121. jacksofbuxton said...
    The thing with Un**ed players is the rotation policy Fergie has.Lots of strikers to choose from.Bent is Sunderland's main man and penalty taker.The other option is to bring in a cheap player for Kuyt(Etherington or Bowyer)and blow my wad on Drogba up front.
    ==============================

    I didn't realise you felt that way about Drogba jacks?

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  122. Quite happy with the FF myself at the mo(4th!), but it all feels a bit too Hull-like....can't shake the feeling that I'll be fighting a losing battle and the chairman will chuck me for Iain Dowie.

    I think Meireles could be a good replacement for Mascherano, but I feel for you AH, no idea why Woy won't sign a striker-but after seeing the West Ham/Man U game, I believe that half of the fee for Carlton Cole will be owed to Vidic, in order to prise the man from vidic's backpocket. Dunno if thats the kinda striker you want, but I guess compared to Ngog.....

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  123. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...

    jacksofbuxton said...
    The thing with Un**ed players is the rotation policy Fergie has.Lots of strikers to choose from.Bent is Sunderland's main man and penalty taker.The other option is to bring in a cheap player for Kuyt(Etherington or Bowyer)and blow my wad on Drogba up front.
    ==============================

    I didn't realise you felt that way about Drogba jacks?
    ________________________
    I certainly did when he scored offside goals home and away against you last season.

    ha ha.

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  124. Ah yes, the offside goal that won the league....
    At the Bridge it was Terry (not FBH) who got the winner - I wish it was Drogba! Anyone but sir cheats a lots!

    Did Ipswich win? I have checked the Championshit results yet...

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  125. Sorry, I have NOT checked the results yet.

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  126. Bloody hell, a 2-0 win for Ipswich.

    That Keano eh Jacks? What a manager!!!!

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  127. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...

    Bloody hell, a 2-0 win for Ipswich.

    That Keano eh Jacks? What a manager!!!!
    ________________________
    Always had my backing.....
























    the bog trotting twat.

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  128. Surely you cannot hate the man who has got you joint top of the league........

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  129. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...

    Surely you cannot hate the man who has got you joint top of the league........
    _______________________
    Yes you can.

    And don't call me Shirley.

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  130. Morning all

    Just a quickie to say nice to be back, well it's not really, spending all day on beach and drinking vast amounts of wine was much better if I'm honest, but I was brought up to be polite

    and modest so

    I will not gloat to much about Chelsea being top of league and, deary me, who should also be on top of FFL and H2H (not the 'Dutch' variety) but little old me - wey hey, Actually am only enjoying it while it lasts and I did soooo badly in it last year.

    Jacks, nice to see you back on here

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  131. That is my way of pronouncing Yorkshire in a Yorkshire accent via a keyboard. It wasn't an impression of FBH.

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  132. Thanks BHB.

    Ngog,I've been working on my FBH impression...


    Now then,osdgh posug;ou' pdorgue7t09357hnb poug09e76hfmds.n ou wopufp9ey covered in piss.

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  133. Hahaha!! Quality mate.

    Did you just copy and paste that from FBH's manual "The perfect typist"?

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  134. No,I got it from his best selling book about getting a suit on whilst inebriated.

    "The Perfect Tie,Pissed."

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  135. He's bringing it out today,so it's an autobiography now,then.

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  136. Right people.

    I'm off for the day! Half day, lucky me! Yeah!

    Ciao for now.

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  137. Phew...looks like we have finally gotten rid of Insua to galatasaray. if the babel to spurs rumor is true, then we have now rid ourselves of most of the Rafa junk - insua, babel, riera. still not sure about ngog..twat got himself injured just about when he found some form (probably thought he should follow in the footsteps of st stevie and torres)

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  138. Bit harsh AH, what have I done to you?

    Jacks.......hhmmmmm!!!


    Cya.

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  139. I was just checking Ngog.

    Hope all goes well.

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  140. Cheers buddy.

    Right, I'm turning off now...definitely.

    Speak tomorrow.

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  141. And we've got Stipe Pletikosa on loan for the season, so we're well catered for GK's now ... wonder if we could go down the road to the Emirates and swap him for a striker ...

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  142. Star ... RvP or Bendtner?

    Ngog..the other (lesser known) Ngog..nothing but love for you of course.

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  143. Now you put it that way AH ... I'll keep hold of the keeper.

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  144. Robinho to AC Milan apparently....can always count on him for some transfer day action..good lad.

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  145. I'm KenDoddsDadsDogsDead Star! I wouldn't worry too much tho, I did crap in FFL last week

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  146. Starfire said...
    And we've got Stipe Pletikosa on loan for the season, so we're well catered for GK's now ... wonder if we could go down the road to the Emirates and swap him for a striker ...

    ================================
    Cheers star, you can come get Bendtner and one of our many midfielders......... That'll be just before they got injured anyways

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  147. I thought the name rang a bell MR.

    Yeah, they'd probably get injured at WHL Monk, though it'll be the groin rather than some leg injury.

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  148. AH - I still hold high hopes for Babel and really don't want him sold. I know he's not performed apart from the occasional moment of genius but I weckon Woy could put an arm round him and give him the Good Will Hunting treatment. He's far from talentless, just needs to sort his head out.

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  149. 1419: Sky Sports report that Liverpool striker Ryan Babel is in a helicopter heading to Tottenham as we speak (or write, or tweet or whatever).

    Oh. Well, I never rated him anyway, the flaky little git.

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  150. Ok, I'm getting scared now ... why the hell would Spurs give Babel a look? Sky reckon he's being flown into London to meet them.

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  151. Maybe there gonna chuck him outta the chopper, a la Scarface, because he moaned too much.

    Now that would be news.

    Transfer deadline day as exciting as the application of hemroide crea.

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  152. You're right about Babel not being talentless Tommy, but we dont have the luxury of waiting for woy to get his head right...top 4 will be decided by a couple points and we need folks who can hit the ground running (in a non-RvP way) immediately. speaking of which..fucks..3 hours to go an no striker as yet. Star - i'll bet I'm more scared than you right now.

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  153. 1447: Gilardino at Liverpool, Llorente, Iaquinta and Carlton Cole too (at least according to rumours).
    ---------------------------------------------
    We're good then..4 backup strikers. good going roy. oh wait...

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  154. so the konchesky deal is through with dalla valle going in the opposite direction...in roy we trust..he has given away a promising striker to bring in an aging defender..im sure he knows what he's doing though {he says while nervously chewing his nails}

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  155. Bring back my Bonnie to me, TO ME!

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  156. Is that comment germane to the discussion Tommy?

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  157. Tommy.If you did sign up Bonnie Greer,she might not score many but you'll be guaranteed a decent write up on Newsnight Review.

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  158. Star - rest easy i think. just heard something about babel going to the hammers, not spurs.

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  159. actually my aunts dogs sister (Kens Dads Dog's second cousin)saw babel talking to grant at a coffee shop

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  160. mornin' Lads, Bonnie Tyler, I'll 'ave some of that heartache.

    Rodrigo Moreno eh? Anybody got any news on our new superstar?

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  161. welcome back BHB, how about Bonnie Rait, let's give 'em sommat to talk about

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  162. 19 year old Liam Boyce of Cliftonville has signed for Werder Bremen

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  163. Now Bonnie Raitts a classy lassie with a guitar

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  164. Daily Telegraph's deputy football correspondent Jason Burt on Twitter: "Tottenham have offered Liverpool £10m for Ryan Babel."

    -----------------------------------

    I fucking hope not ...

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  165. 1603: DEADLINE DAY'S BIGGEST DONE DEALS SO FAR:
    Marcus Bent [Birmingham - Wolves] Loan
    Salif Diao [unattached - Stoke]
    Alexander Hleb [Barcelona - Birmingham] Loan
    Martin Jiranek [Spartak Moscow - Birmingham] Undisclosed
    Paul Konchesky [Fulham - Liverpool] Player exchange
    Zurab Khizanishvili [Blackburn - Reading] Loan
    Rodrigo Moreno [Benfica - Bolton] Loan
    Matt Phillips [Wycombe - Blackpool] £325,000
    Stipe Pletikosa [Spartak Moscow - Tottenham] Loan
    Gylfi Sigurdsson [Reading - Hoffenheim] £6m
    Anthony Stokes [Hibernian - Celtic] Undisclosed

    Exciting stuff eh?

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  166. Daily Telegraph's deputy football correspondent Jason Burt on Twitter: "Tottenham have offered Liverpool £10m for Ryan Babel."
    ------------------------

    DONE!!!! Hurry up Woy take it before Harry wakes up!

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  167. Bonnie Raitt.There's something about that streak of blonde down her red hair that looks fantastic.She gives good slide as well.

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  168. Dont worry star..they've offered us 10 mil to keep him.

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  169. Are you sure it's not just 10m for a record deal?

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  170. BBC:
    Pierre van Gild via text: "Hello, I am good friends with Ryan Babel and he wants to reassure the Anfield faithful that he is not on a helicopter and definitely isn't going to sign for anyone."

    Bollocks, mate

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  171. Liverpool have signed of 16-year-old Suso from FC Cadiz on a scholarship agreement and MTK Budapest's Hungary Under-17 international Adam Hajdu on a temporary transfer
    ------------------------------------------------
    er..ahem..is that the plan for the backup striker? with about 90 mins to go, the trotts are gonna start any time now (no trotts, not you).

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  172. AH, I just read that too... I not sure underwhelmed is the word I'm looking for!

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  173. Thank our Trotts

    Sorry to be ignorant but who the hell is Bonnie Raits?

    On football matters, can't really rave about any of transfers Chelsea have done this window, and I may be shot down in flames here and put right by AH and other Liverpool fans, but wasn't overly struck by Benayouns signing? (Appreciate he scored against Wigan but..)

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  174. tone1947 said...

    Jacks
    How d'you know that?
    _______________________
    Adam told me.

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  175. That man
    he gets every where

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  176. Saw her live in Toronto backing Slowhand

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  177. BHB ..you're quite right about yossi..decent enough player but nothing to write home about in a team that has the likes of essien, drogba, cashley et al. Chelski have been doing the right thing in the transfer market I think - they have a great team, no one's left except joe cole, so didnt really have to go overboard with the spending.

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  178. cor jacks, your much more officiant than me...

    yeah every one, what jacks said...

    cheers mate....

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  179. Damn, he got there before me

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  180. AH, you are right in the fact it's good to see Ancelotti not jsut seemingly spending for sake of it

    I was very disappointed when Joe Cole left, but was putting out flags when they announced Deco and Ballack were off too.

    Deco had one decent match, his very first one with us, and as for Ballack we should be pleased he was a 'freebie' cos he didn't contribute much over the years

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