Wednesday 4 August 2010

Nando's Staying Put?!

Well bugger me if Roy Hodgson hasn't managed to keep hold of Torres n all. It's a shock. My sources were certain he was on his way. Then again my sources aren't exactly social networkers - one lives with his infirm Mum and the other lives somewhere between a Blue Bell bar stool and the Blue Bell floor.

I thought we'd seen the back of him

My first thought on hearing the news was 'Bloody hell, he must be worried about the injury'. My second thought was 'Bloody hell, they have got a buyer' otherwise they'd be flogging the Spaniard for whatever they could get for him. My third thought was 'Never mind that how come Aidan McGeady isn't going to Boro? He's Scottish isn't he?'

I'm surprised figures of 40 million were being bandied around for a lad who bought his hamstrings from the same pound shop as Michael Owen. Rafa spent most of his last two seasons at Anfield batting back questions as to when Torres would return after his latest sicky.

But he's back in training, no doubt with club physios surrounding his like the roll-cage of a top-of-the-range Volvo, and he'll be giving his all for the club and the fans. Well I hope he stays fit cos he's a joy to behold in full flow but if we see the World Cup Torres then we'll have a fella with the touch and technique of a bull elephant with its legs in plaster.

It all means that this Kenny Huang bloke looks very likely to be relieving Gillett and Hicks of their irresponsibilities.


There's pics a plenty of Hillocks and Gitt holding up scarves looking like two dopy rich kids with a new train set. And just like two kids Hex and Tourette've done their best to drive the Good Train Liverpool off the rails, shedding loads of points in the process.

It's hard to believe Huang could be worse. But his track record suggests that he's not in it for the glory anymore than Blix and Burette were. The bottom line is cash. He does look the most likely candidate, mind. Not least cos Liverpool were after Luke Fu Yung.

In fact Liverpool FC have a long connection with the Far East. Just think of Graeme Sweet n Sourness, Teriyaki McDermott, John Arne Riise, Crispy Durck Kuyt. 20 million was a dim sum to pay for Robbie Keane. And let's face it you couldn't get a more Chinese name than Sammy Lee.

I hear that Huang's hit list includes Frank Spare Ribery and Wok-A Santa Cruz.

(That's enough now. I won't mention the talk of luring Eric Cantonese out of retirement.)

Of course all these hilarious puns are an attempt to laugh off the possibility that Liverpool FC, with an injection of cash, a sensible manager, and the retention of good players, might be able to do a lot better this year. I think they will.

It is fun when they don't though isn't it?

Meanwhile the unspeakably wealthy Manchester City continue to be linked with anyone who can do up his own shoelaces (so not many of the current England squad then). Salomon Kalou has warned Manchester City that cash cannot buy them the title - another indication of just how short a memory your average Chelsea player has.

It was your lot, Hassungotta, who started it. This vogue for blindfolded billionaires sticking a pin into a Premier League table and than splashing through the shallow waters of football's soul in order to pick up a floating near-carcass of a club and breathe new life into its gagging nostrils all began in West London. All roads lead back to Roman.

So no, Chelsea players need to stuff a gold-threaded silken hanky into their witless gobs before commenting upon what cash can get you. Although given Kalou has never get on the end of a decent cross it's hard to expect him to get on the right end of a good argument.

If he's anything to go by cash can buy you a shit haircut that makes you look like you've been run over by a motorbike.



And maybe it helps in other directions n all...

I suppose it's good for your average successful footballer to have this goldfish-like recall. It means they can go on winning the same trophy year after year and still find it a surprise.

I'm laying off the predictions till next week now, mainly cos we've got the unholy thrill of watching the Community Shield this weekend. Whoop-di-doo! Another tame 0-0 and a pen shoot-out from some tanned podgers.

There hasn't been a decent Charity Shield since Keegan And Bremner battered the flak out of each other in 1974. If only Glitch and Colette could work out their differences in the same way there'd be some guaranteed entertainment in the red half of Merseyside this year.

509 comments:

  1. and copied over from previous blog -

    AnfieldHopeful said...

    Well, seems like someone has caught on to my idea of sellng footy clubs to Indians and Chinese. Looks like an Indian dude has made a bid for the rovers. H2/Jay - told you we should have copyrighted our ideas.

    Well, its a good thing they didnt go chinese as well, or would have had to get along as the blackburn lovers.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Can we get some random pictures of hot WAGS thrown in Robbo? Not that your blog ain't worth reading. its just that it would make some good viewing after we finish reading ur blog!!

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  3. Yea yeah. Long overdue Robbo. Now to read the blog.....

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  4. Way to go Anonymous. None of the regulars in here don't read the blog, anyways. So daft comments like "Nice blog Robbo" will mean it this time

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  5. I suppose it's good for your average successful footballer to have this goldfish-like recall. It means they can go on winning the same trophy year after year and still find it a surprise.
    ===========================================
    I think Sir Alex is in the same mold as well. And those 2 kop okes, I thought their names were like Grit and Concrete or summat?

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  6. You've got to wonder where some of these clubs that are bought by foreign business men will be in a few years time. Liverpool were heading the way of Pompey, Utd's future don't look so rosy, can't say I like the look of that guy who bought Birnmingham either. Makes me glad to be a Spurs fan - them Jews sure know how to run a business properly. And at least you know that Mel Gibson will never become a celebrity fan.

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  7. mornin' lads, take that back Monk, I read every word, except that one time when the temptation to post first was greater than the need to read.

    More good stuff Robbo but surely the bottom had fallen out of the Torres market and it made it easier to keep him. One more hamstring with double groin pull and his bottom will indeed fall off.

    It went something like this "Look son, the mri shows that you're an ongoing liability and any prospective employer is gonna see the same thing, so get out there in the press room and tell the fans how much you love them, the club and your new manager and we'll see how well we can patch you up as the next transfer window approaches."

    If all else fails they can loan him out to Bolton.

    Blimey, that lass has got some legs, I'd give her a lot more than a single sodding rose from the 50p bucket at the petrol station.

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  8. McGeady can't go to Boro, it'd be too glaring an admission that he actually is Scottish, not Irish.

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  9. At least you noticed them legs. So ROBBO, QUICK, MORE WAGS please

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  10. Yes indeed, a footy blog, hurrah!!! Great stuff.

    As Blogs would say, Torres aint wurf it.

    There's no doubt that in his day he was one of the best to grace the PL, but I'm afraid that day has come to an end. I hope (well I don't really) that for Riverpoohs sake that he was just tired during the WC, totally exhasted after a greuling season of coming back from injuries.

    Can he make it this year? I don't think so, he'll definetly come back and show us some flashes of semi-briliance but I think he'll be plagued with tweaks and niggling injuries.

    If the 50mil that was been reportedly offered by the Chavs and Mercs was true they would of been idiots (who G&H?) not to except it.

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  11. From the previous blog;

    blogdignag said...
    no mte youre just cursed. the emirates was built on an old indian tribal* burial ground

    *the Warethefukawee
    -----------
    Funily enough the Emirates was built on a rubish dump (or recycling centre as the hooray Henrys choose to call it) But the council estate next to the stadium (where I was from) was built on a graveyard.

    Holloway is well posh, innit.

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  12. I read robbo every weeek and would like to see more WAGS...

    Cor, yuus can taste the footy in the air almost...

    Were away to accrington stanley (exactly), but lookign scary good... 11 new players in, as many of them gone... gonna be a good year i reckons...

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  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  14. 11 new players, RBA?

    Bloody hell that's more then Arsene has brought in, eeerrmm, ever, not including the under 7's, we got millions of them, so in a few years time when all other teams are struggling with the 25man squad rule we'll have an under 21 pool, the size of China, to choose from.

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  15. I think with that WOG* there, I've read this robbo blog every 5 minutes.

    *Wife Or Girlfriend (WOG) - singular
    *Wives And Girlfriends (WAGs) - plural

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  16. Monk, I wouldn't advise you ask Kalou; "hey mate is that your w.o.g.?"
    It could be misinterpretated.

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  17. I'll just make an assumption that's a w.o.g. I can't ask him because I still treasure my teeth.....

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  18. And as for those who've been saying we can't win the EPL with kids, I think is about time they eat their words. Ican just imagine in February when our under 21's are ruling the roast and we play some team who'll by then only have 9 players to choose from

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  19. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/eng_div_3/8882949.stm

    Try reading this BBC blog - it has no content

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  20. Arsenal and Manchester United's hopes of signing Germany World Cup star Mesut Ozil were boosted after the midfielder told his club Werder Bremer to lower their £16m asking price.
    Full story: Daily Star

    United could also offer midfielder Anderson and about £12m to land Werder Bremen's Germany World Cup star Mesut Ozil.
    Full story: caughtoffisde.com
    -------
    Great deal for United, would mean that they'd only lose about 14mill on the Anderson investment.

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  21. Adam, that was indeed not a very informtive blog, was a quick read though.

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  22. Adam, why would I read something that don't have no content? I mean. do i get it? no.... me neither!!

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  23. Nice blog Robbo - best one in a while - and more WAG pics - and (in the words of Sid the Sexist) "Tiiits Owwwwt"

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  24. Well, I retract my words. I've just read it and it's so brilliantly true.

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  25. Adam, how the hell did you find that bbc blog out? Or is it you instincts to find daft things like that?

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  26. W.O.G. could also be a question. or WOGOSEWOG which is another question, ie. is that your wife, girlfriend or someone else's wife or girlfriend? The Wogosewog was an Indian tribe whose burial grounds are under the new landfill that is under Red Bull arena. Anyway, who cares, more pictures!

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  27. The beeb probably insisted their boggers come up with a blog that does not seem stupid/boring/incorrect. They might be on to something here.

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  28. WOGOSEWOG?!?! nice dude. I sometimes wonder if some of you guys have discovered how genius you lot are.
    Think beef and fish Clones, VirtuALE®, Brakban Lovers, River Poo, then WOGOSEWOG, to name but a few. Brilliant

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  29. "Insua's move from Liverpool to Fiorentina falls through"..dammit..one piece of possibly good news (torres) always followed by the not so good.

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  30. ha ha ha. Insua has refused to leave the kop

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  31. The Tribal Monk® said...
    Adam, how the hell did you find that bbc blog out? Or is it you instincts to find daft things like that?
    ---------------

    The numpties advertised it on the front of the football page as their main blog

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  32. Your puns are no worse than the sun:
    "You'll never wok alone"

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  33. i keep telling H2 to copyright his stuff..see, you couldve sold that to the Sun for real money.

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  34. Rivr Poo Chinese Takeaway : order book

    a number 64 - Dirk Gon (Sour) - to take Kuyt

    a number 32 - Won Hung Lo- to Ngog (missed order)

    8 bottles of Ar Sol and a free go on the jukebox - S.Gerrard

    followed by a big juicy Or-Ji with the WOGOSEWOGS

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  35. trott/H2 - resident punmeisters

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  36. nahhh blog, Zoot is the master of punnilingus, where is the blighter anyway?

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  37. zoot's bit like my cat, H - goes missing but then turns up eventually so in answer to your question i assume zoot is locked in someone's garage for the summer

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  38. well, hope there's a lot of cat food in that garage, although, there have been recent reports of elevated numbers of cats going missing in Liverpool. Ciao man!

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  39. Looks like the BBC blog on Div3(or 2 or 4) cant make their mind up between Shots, Vale or the Millers. I'd go for the latter

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  40. Does that mean Zoots could get run over and robbo would get another zoots to replace him, to spare us our feelings???

    And will he be sick on my carpet?

    Night everybody,,,

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  41. Chavs are in town, decided to watch it on TV.

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  42. Seriously lads you want more WAGs? Is that for the WAGbank? I don't know me Abby Clancys from my One Show totty so you'll have to educate us, like.

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  43. WARNING ! I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO GET OFF ME CHEST!

    as you probab;y know development of young footballing talent - ie how crap we are at it - is my pet topic the big story today for me is scudamore talking about using the ConDem coalitions idea of free schools to open soccer academies : eg Independent - Premier League youth plan will help England's chances, says Scudamore

    well i think this is progress - an admission from the organisation with the real power (in the english game read for "power" : "money") that we can't go on this way. Its the equivalent to scudamore standing up and saying "I Richard Scudamore am an alcoholic". (on the BBC everytime i mentioned scudamore hwever benignly, i was modded - that ANALOGY would have no chance of surviving. i also think he's a cunt, btw)

    if we are to achieve anything, ever again on the international stage, we have to address and eliminate both the comparative lack of coaching hours and the total fuckin moronism of english football culture.

    the vacuum of leadership in the english game on this crucial issue appalls me - what do the short term share holders or foreign plutocrats care about the development of english talent? abut as much as i care about whether they make a profit or not, thats how much.

    and it appalls me that the FA so incompetently, surrendered control of the acdemies and centres of excellence which are licensed under their name but which they have no right to inspect or direct. so here we have the richest leagues in the world gormlessly directionless in the development of english talent (as opposed to "home-grown" eg fabregas) due to the inertia and political squabbles of the FA/Prem and the cap-in-hand Football League. it's like the government saying "well we're passing the laws, yeah, but the police and the judiciary, yeah, well we think Tesco could do that arm of government better than us."

    the lack of contact with quality coaches for the young elite players is clear. between 9 and 18 the kids need to have been given 10,000ish hours of quality practice time. that's 15-20 hours per week (Tom Daley or any other top athlete puts in this amount of time). at present not only is 5 the maximum the club can provide but also the coaching is delivered at the worst possible time: in the evenings and weekends - say 2 nights, Saturday morning plus the games programme on Sundays -which can involve 8 hour round trips. how do you expect them to fit that in around school work and X-Box and X-Factor and X-rated website browsing?

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  44. WARNING I STILL HAVEN'T GOT IT OFF ME CHEST... cont

    this timetable is inefficient at producing skillful footballers, but even worse, there is a good chance the boys will scupper their education. homework? forget it. they is too tired and in any case they is going to be professional footballers, you get me?

    of the 10,000 kids (in my opinion thats about 5,000 too many) currently in the professional clubs' 88 academies and centres of excellence, just 1% will become professionals. of that 1%, 60% ill have let the game by age 21. thats a lot of kids with no football career and the collateral damage of a wrecked academic education. in these straitened times i fear for their long-term job prospects. there could be vast sink estates, ten years from now filled with athletic but dim academy drop-outs.

    and the survivors, fools in ferraris, are damaged goods they just dont know it, - one of the main reasons we are failing at international levels is the dimwittedness of the "successes" of our present youth system. they're inevitably undereducated.

    look at stevie gerrard wandering all over the pitch when he should be in left midfield (if i was lampard i'd want to fuckin throttle him) or joe cole just released by chelsea, despite his obvious talent, because ancelotti says he lacks intelligence, or john terry at the world cup complaining of boredom, probably because he hasn't got one of those WOGOSEWOG orgies to go to . lets not even mention rooney who truly is the crown prince of brainless chavs. so its wall-to-wall embarrassment off the pitch and the stupidity is equally evident on the pitch. embarrassing for them yes but we participate in their embarrassment because this god help us this is the national sport.

    one massive implication of the way we do things at present is that middle class parents of talented youngsters think: no way is this worth gambling my sons education away, no way is it worth exposing my boy to this kind of role model. so we're left with a working class demographic of poorly educated boy/men- poorly educated because of the youth system and because of their expectations, not because of their social class i hasten to add. a lot of middle class talent is lost. thats half the population, ffs.

    SO its nice to see the penny (or should that be the profit) has dropped with scudamore. the only way to effectively and consistently deliver 10,000 hours and maintain educational standards is professional football coaching in mainstream schooling during daylight hours, with the possibility of pathways through to A-level for brighter kids with footballing ability.

    something like this is already practiced at Watford's Harefield Academy and soon by Colchester United. If these smaller, intelligently managed clubs can achieve this Im sure the big clubs will soon follow suit.

    if it took the fiasco of the world cup to highlight the obvious skill, intellectual and moral deficiencies which undermine the england team then i'm glad it happened, for the sake of talented young footballers like my boy and for the country.

    stand to attention, now. I'm going to sing the national anthem.......

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  45. blimey what is this, twitter? how am i supposed to say anything in less than 4,096 characters?

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  46. robbo - less of the WAGs, mate, the web is chocka with that stuff. bravoerotica a personal favourite.

    this should be a forum for debating serious footballing issues.

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  47. Maybe should be a bit more like America and have their academy payments and wages dependent on grades. If they don't pass their GCSEs and A-Levels they get a reduced income (liek minimum wage) that would soon teach them

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  48. Blog, the uneducated lot, we call English footballers, always reminds of Bryan Robson or one of his teammates at West Brom, when visiting China, said, once you've seen one wall, you've seen em all

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  49. adam i understand the american sport scholarships produce incredible athletes who also have a decent education. if their grades slip they're out on their ear.

    theyve also got weird shit like the Draft which sends the best american footballers to the worst clubs to equal it all out.

    hart, johnston, wilshere playing for the vale? I LIKE!!!!

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  50. tone - at least robsons no worse than prince philip - "stay here much longer and you'll go slitty eyed" or in Papua New Guinea "you've managed not to get eaten yet, then"?

    rotherham seem in good shape, tone

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  51. id neer heard that robson quote before - sounds like he was confusing the stereotype of chinese PEOPLE "they all look the same" with brick or stone-built boundary markers

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  52. Wiki says it was John Trewick

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  53. The draft system in the States applies to all major sports, NBA, NHL and NFL, and they have a total cap system on what thay can pay,
    that'd fuck city up and a few others

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  54. 'old on 'old on, MLB has a salary cap too. Doesn't have to be respected though and they have a "luxury tax" for the teams that exceed it. MLS has one as well, but they're broadening that to attract overseas talent with some limited number of exceptions permitted on each team, sound familiar?

    NFL has a big issue with theirs, there might be an uncapped year or even a labour stoppage because the players' union are after a bigger share of revenues. This is what happens when the players have had an education! never a dull moment eh.

    Blog, your thesis is spot on but when did Scudamore move from jump racing to footy?

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  55. "Syrian businessman Yahya Kirdi says his consortium of Canadian and Middle East investors is in the "final stage of negotiation" to buy Liverpool."

    Oh dear, we'll have to think of Canadian/Middle Eastern puns now. what a waste of all that chinese material we had.

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  56. Top Blog Robbo.

    Stick to football blogs mate, you do it best.
    The other sports, you do them best when you do nothing at all.


    Fernando Torres is one lethal striker when fully fit. Even though he was fit for half the season last time around, still managed to knock 20 goals in. Not bad at all.

    Dont agree with the suggestion that he is past it. If liverpool get soem able cover for him and let him heal for once, he may return to terrorise defenders up and down the country.



    and am looking forward to your predictions blog.

    Like I said, stick to football.
    Football and obituaries.

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  57. Ah dont worry, them Hummus blokes have some lethal strikers in their ranks.

    Looks like there will be ample cover for Torres after all.

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  58. Yahya Kirdi

    -----

    sounds like childish goading of kurdish toffees

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  59. Spitfire said...
    Ah dont worry, them Hummus blokes have some lethal strikers in their ranks.

    Looks like there will be ample cover for Torres after all.

    -------------

    look to Row 14, seat 356 at the newly re-branded Clock End when they play the Arsenal

    Osama's old seat at the old ground. There may be a bomb beneath it.

    You aint seen me, right?

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  60. Blog,

    stop being insensitive and hateful to a die hard football fan.

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  61. RBA, what's this from the BBC....."Aldershot boss Kevin Dillon believes his squad is stronger than the one that reached the play-offs in May after a close season in which he claims to have cleared out the "whingers"."

    Whingers in Aldershot? They should try reading the woes!

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  62. Yup, sod the prem this year, it's all happening in Div 2. Shots, Vale, Millers, and the Gills. (have I missed anyone out?)


    FIGHT!

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  63. How about they skip the lowly season and move on to the 4 semifinalists for the play offs?

    draw lots for the other promotees

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  64. By god, Celtic are awfull!!!!

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  65. maybe he meant to say "wingers"?

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  66. Celtic were pants - but somehow they now have a chance of Big Cup 2.

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  67. So, the Sun is stealing my stuff, gits.

    On the other hand, it may just mean there's a "reporter" there with the same intellegence level as myself.

    Ha ha, he must be a right plank.
    --------
    Robbo, easy on the wags, keep it comming with the gags. I couldn't give a rats ars about which slapper is screwing which primadonna, unless it's a SEWOG, we all like a good laugh at JT.

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  68. Starfire said...
    Yup, sod the prem this year, it's all happening in Div 2. Shots, Vale, Millers, and the Gills. (have I missed anyone out?)

    -------------

    real football played by real footballers and watched by real football fans, star.

    the high-end stuff has just got boring like watching a bunch of androids programmed to dance in triangles around a tray of prawn sandwiches

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  69. Blogidy, you are ofcourse right mate.

    Maybe we should try to kidnap Brooking and Scudamore (silly name, what the hell is a Scuda and why would we need more of them?), clone you and add some Mission Impossible make up and send you(s) in to infiltrate the F.A.
    The cloning and make up is the easy bit, getting English kids to actually give a fuck is where the mission becomes impossible.

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  70. .....and drinking real ale.

    Until my VirtuALE® sponsership deal kicks in.

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  71. well what else have we got except a dubious sense of authenticity, H? the footballs a load of shit.

    i cant really see fabregas staying at arsenal, can you? the tapping up is bloody outrageous and he obviously wants to go.

    if he does go i'm hoping to get one of his old Arsenal shirts - it should just about fit my boy's Action Man

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  72. Blog, we just need better excuses to explain away the failure at the WC and then we'll be alright again and we can renew our belief in the victories to come.

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  73. i blame global warming, trott. beer and pies dont work in hot weather. we're demoralised as a nation.

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  74. Blogs, I'll put my Arsenal tinted specs on for a sec.

    The only quotes and soundbytes we've been hearing are ALL coming from the Barca camp. The only thing Cesc has ever said is that Barca is the only club he'd leave Arsenal for, that's like me saying I'll only leave my missus for Kylie, it doesn't mean it's gonna happen*. There's not been one official quote where he has said "I want to leave Arsenal.

    Specs off.

    I'm not saying he'll stay or go (though Wenger is adamant he won't be sold.) I just think this story (yawn) has been blown outta proportion.

    *You can get my email adress via the pic link.

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  75. if this cloud is to be lifted we may need to invade France again!

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  76. Hot weather, it was bloody freezing in S.A.?

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  77. We dson't need to invade France Trott, they were even worse then us at the WC, no moral victory to be gained there, besides in this day and age of hi tec communications a few threatening e-mails should be enough to make them surrender.

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  78. bbc blog about the new season and the div 2 team prospects.

    this is all he says about one of the form teams of the end of last season

    "Mickey Adams continues to rebuild at Port Vale."

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  79. We've already invaded France trott. We i mean the Arsenal.... And the Arsenal means the future of England. So, by the time this future, the u15s are 21 England will win the World Cup*. And before we know it all top English players will be imported to go play in Germany, Spain, Italy, etc.........

    *The Snowboarding World Cup

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  80. H2O - It is still bloody freezing in SA!

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  81. H2O = Hot water
    CO2 = Cold Water

    This taken from my GCSE Chemistry test book. That was like 15 years ago........ or was it?

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  82. H i dont think barca can afford him, so in total contradiction to my previous post, i cant see him leaving either

    although i hope he does go, so wilshere can come through. one less bloody foreigner hogging our top 5 first team places

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  83. Spanish mission agenda.

    Get Ronaldo deported to Portugal.

    Get Barsterdloana to pay their bills and get all their players to clean out the stables at the local matador school (so they can drown in real bullshit)

    Deduct points from RM and Barca so that a different team, if indeed they exsist, can win La Liga.

    Ban piella, which sounds like a gay version of pie and force them to eat fish and chips.

    Nick the World Cup and write "property of England" in magic marker over all the engraved winners names.

    Build some decent fun fairs and amusement centres in all costa areas with the compulsory selling of rock and "kiss me quick" hats.

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  84. The Tribal Monk® said...
    H2O = Hot water
    CO2 = Cold Water
    ------
    H2H = in hot water if my missus reads that Kylie post.

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  85. how can Africa be freezing cold, TM?

    the worlds gone mad

    youll be telling me next that huddersgate albion in the stanley bagshawe childrens book series (eg Stanley Bagshawe and the short-sighted football trainer) is based on Port vale FC.

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  86. re : H2H + Kylie in internet tryst scandal.

    H, im sure youre a good looking and charismatic man, but im pretty sure your missus will know you were joking

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  87. Blog Wilshere's not quite ready yet, I thnk AW will use him sparingly, plus, and it's starting already, if the kids gonna get hyped to the max by the media, then he's gonna be set up to fail, like all the english "next best things".

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  88. Spanish Mission

    employ roman abramovich's kgb contacts to serve up a round of polonium-210 cocktails to the barca team

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  89. Ah, that's sweet Blog......

    You think my missus can read?

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  90. he'll never be ready if he doesnt play, H (for ref : see Theo Walcott - 4 years + zero development, according to my mate)

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  91. she's in the other room on her laptop that you dont even know she has, watching your every keystroke with a growing secret resentful fury brewing in her heart, H...

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  92. ONE HUNDRED! tony green wot a legend

    ReplyDelete
  93. Theo's had his chances, he just breaks to easy. His devolpment has been constantly hampered by injuries.
    I know AW has his detracters, but the guy does give the youth a chance, perfect example being Aaron Ramsey who was on a great run until he was chopped in half by that Stoke clogger (but we won't go into that futher) He obviously rates Wilshere and he is definetly in his plans for this season, same with Frimpong, otherwise he'd of sent 'em out on loan.

    ReplyDelete
  94. Amother thing about Theo.

    He was just coming back from a shoulder injury and had a whole summer to recover and get sharp, but against the wishes of AW he was selected for two England squads and brought to two tournaments, which of course he couldnt handle.

    Blame Stuart Pearce!

    ReplyDelete
  95. blogdignag said...
    how can Africa be freezing cold, TM?

    the worlds gone mad

    youll be telling me next that huddersgate albion in the stanley bagshawe childrens book series (eg Stanley Bagshawe and the short-sighted football trainer) is based on Port vale FC.

    ---------

    ive just checked using research techniques including wikipedia and it is! fucking hell! now anything is possible in the season ahead.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Frim
    (a.) Flourishing; thriving; fresh; in good case; vigorous.

    Pong
    (noun) an orrible stink

    ReplyDelete
  97. when im looking up words like "frim" in an on-line dictionary, it is time for bed

    ReplyDelete
  98. There's penguins in SÁ, blog, during the day it's pleasent but at sundown (around 6ish the temp drops drastically. During some of the late kick off games the temp was around the freeze point.

    Fucked me up too.
    ----
    PingPong
    noun, a silly name for tabletennis.

    ReplyDelete
  99. BLOG, Fletch also said

    I think it would be foolish to discount Rotherham - providing they keep hold of striker Adam Le Fondre, who scored 30 goals last season. The Millers lost last season's play-off final and manager Ronnie Moore has shipped out seven of the players who started at Wembley, remodelling his squad in a bid to win automatic promotion.

    Crucially, though, Le Fondre and midfielder Nicky Law both remain,

    ReplyDelete
  100. When you're looking up trim on a website, it's time for...........

    ReplyDelete
  101. Wonderful - a few funy posts to read through by some good lads and old mates - only thing is TROTT - not sure your analogy with shagging Kylie works - If Kylie is Barca you aint to cesc - then again you may be - not met ya - but suspect not - though you are quite a good looking chap - can I stop digging???

    ReplyDelete
  102. I met JFK - Trott you aint no JFK, honey

    ReplyDelete
  103. fbh, the Kylie analogy was mine, but cheers, if the missus reads it I can now blame it on Trott.

    ReplyDelete
  104. Apols Trott - I will attend the divorce courts and testify on your behalf - least I could do really

    How ya H?

    ReplyDelete
  105. Lads I have a confession - I've met someone else - I still love you - no she is not called Facebook - Im not a 13 yr old girl - no its not youtube - even tho the other day I managed to watch several Boro Victories - some of which I was at - its twitter - yes Im sorry - its not your fault - I do still love you - and hope we can be freinds - but perhaps it may be best if we (fills up) - use the spare laptop for a while? (Tears descend upon the cheek of FBH. The times of innocent comradeship somewhat distant. Verdun. The Somme. School play-ground in 1979 against Tommy Tucker. The inner recess of barin tissue computed and concluded that ...


    Oh fuck it - Im on twitter a lot these days - now bend over

    ReplyDelete
  106. Not too bad fbh mate, hope you're well too.

    Now put your phone down and step away from the twitter.

    Twitter? Really? Why?

    ReplyDelete
  107. Chris Evans has lost a millions listeners - doesnt surprise me at all - its shite - musically and orally - ooh err - one regular slot has people phoning in saying "hello" and chris et al saying hello back - inane.

    ReplyDelete
  108. Its actually quite good fun H - would recommend it - a good counterpoint to the footy stuff on here - but still love the robbo blog and the robbo peeps!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  109. Anyway night peeps - and H - Im still looking forward to that visit (whnever it happens) - and would love to bring the demon Barber of Buxton with me.!!!

    ReplyDelete
  110. You still in touch with Jacks?
    Where's he at?
    Not lost in twitterworld I hope,

    ReplyDelete
  111. Twitter hasn't reached the Falklands yet. Mind you, a lot of things haven't reached the Falklands yet. The internet is so fucking slow and expensive there that no-one bothers with it.

    ReplyDelete
  112. H - exchange few emails with the Demon Barber - he not on twitter 0 in fact think only robbo, Adam and me r - and I tweet q lot more than either

    Evening Noel - apols but must go - knackered!!! And us insomniacs need to catch that moment :)

    ReplyDelete
  113. Spits is the top tweeter @callmespits - follow him!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  114. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Airtricity League 1-7 Man Utd

    Why do they even bother with these games...seems like such a waste of time and the potential for injury is always high...really...Airtricity league??? next thing you know they'll be pre-seasoning (sounds like a cookery blog now) with Port Vale.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Air Tri City?

    Didn't Lando Calrissian used to play for them?

    ReplyDelete
  117. "Pay up Pompey, Pompey pay up";

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/teams/p/portsmouth/8886009.stm

    He added: "The clubs wanted Portsmouth to go to the wall and divide all the TV money among themselves."
    ==
    Now who still thinks that footy's not a business?

    ReplyDelete
  118. How highly does SAF rate Owen?

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1300338/Manchester-United-striker-Michael-Owen-linked-loan-Bristol-City.html

    OK all you IOU fans that were calling for Owen to be in the England squad,(you know who you are) what do you think about that?

    ReplyDelete
  119. I think it's fucking funny. At the start of last season I asked a Utd fan who was going to get all the goals now that Ronaldo had left - he answered that Owen was a 30 goal a season striker. He's not even a 30 game a season striker!

    ReplyDelete
  120. 30 years ago, there wasnt a singleforeigner playing in the English top division.

    What exactly did te Egnlish national team win then?

    Yes, you are right, they won FUCK ALL.

    Stop blaming the bloody foreigners for every fucking problem that was caused by your own inability to perform.

    The english youth development can be likened to premature ejaculation where the suferer is unable to hold the stuff long enough. Remember, pushing them out in the open where the conditions are not right kills them.

    And its bullshit that Managers/clubs dont give chances to English players. Theo Walcott is case and point. Do you think a foreign winger with as useless crossing/dribbling ability or physical presence would be staying at a top club be getting regular first team chances EVERY time he is fit?

    morons.

    ReplyDelete
  121. And dont tell me I was being rude or disrespectful.

    you'll understand if you had to catch flights at ungodly hours....

    ReplyDelete
  122. Spit!
    Well said mate. Don't blame the foreigners, blame the system. It's not as if England is the only place that's got foreigners anyways.

    What i keep saying is, let's do it the German and French way. Whoever plays good, give 'em the passport and force them to sing God Save the Queen, and their allegiance to the Union Jack will be tops. That's all we need.

    If you look at the German team that beat us. They had a Ghanaian, a Nigerian, a Brazillian, several Polishes (or was it Polishians), A Moroccan, and several other nationalities playing for them. Why can't we?

    ReplyDelete
  123. Monk,

    I dont agree with just handing out passports to talented players ala English Cricket.

    Dont forget that even though 11 of the German players in the WC squad had foreign origins or atypical german names, does not mean they are not germans.

    They were either born in germany and/or they have atleast one german parent.

    And all but 1 of them is a product of the German youth football development program.

    So are dozens of players in national squads of kroatia, Bosnia, Serbia, Poland, Czec, Swiss, Danish, Turkish and many african countries.

    What the thickos dont understand is, once you have got a good system in place and right people trained for carrying out the right job at training the kids, it wont take eternity (well not 44 years I am sure) before we have enough able players so desperate to play football they would go abroad instead of linger in reserves or benches of top clubs in order to get 1st team football week in week out.

    Anyway, I am bored out my wits with the English football obituaries and postmortems for the time being.

    New season, new delusions, disappointments and false dawns. Bring it on.



    Now then Scousers, hummus or spring rolls?

    ReplyDelete
  124. Well, come the end of the day we might have 23 clubs left in the Championship.


    All I can say to that is ... Go HMRC.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger is ready to make a significant offer to bring Manchester City reserve keeper Joe Hart to the Emirates.

    ------------------------------

    For the good of England, please buy him Arsene ...

    ReplyDelete
  126. Goalkeeper David James will be the first casualty of England's World Cup debacle when coach Fabio Capello leaves him out of next week's friendly with Hungary.

    --------------------------------

    Harsh way of putting it really as he was about the only player whop didn't cover himself with excrement in SA, but Hart needs to be given the Jersey and given some game time.

    ReplyDelete
  127. I hope Arsenal do sign Hart, but I doubt they'll pay what City will ask for him. I can't see him keeping Given out of the City team, and they won't loan him to a team that will be up the top end of the table. And Arsenal need a good keeper, cos I've got Arsenal defenders in my fantasy team.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Haven't got anyone from Arsenal in my team, partly because I'm a Spurs man, but largely because of the fact that every time I did put a Gunner in my team they immediately got injured, causing Spit and H to swear copiously at me for jinxing things.

    ReplyDelete
  129. That said, I've thought about chucking Fabregas in the team, but then I'd have to pull what is a well rounded team apart to make up the 2 mill difference between him and Malouda, who I'd ship out to fit him in.

    ReplyDelete
  130. The city of Bristol is gripped by hope after it was suggested Michael Owen could become the second England international to join the the Robins this week.

    They originally had an approach for the loan of Danny Welbeck rebuffed by Manchester United but were shocked when they were told they could take Owen instead.

    ----------------------------------

    Possibly the most ridiculous story of the day considering he is starting the pre-season matches and Fergie is likely to use 5 strijers this season and Welbeck & Diouf are on loan and Manuch is being sold

    ReplyDelete
  131. that woudl be strikers and Manucho being sold

    ReplyDelete
  132. Start given your past record on fantasy league players can you please pick some Man City & Chelsea ones

    ReplyDelete
  133. Yeah I went with Fabregas ahead of Malouda - don't trust him to be as good as last season. Plus if Fabregas gets sold, then I'll have plenty of money to spend on whoever I replace him with. I've got a Spurs midfield with Modric and Bale in there.

    ReplyDelete
  134. Yeah ... I'll pick Tevez again just before he announces he's running away to Argentina for a month Adam ;)

    Noel, I had bale last season ... he was listed as a defender but Harry often had him in midfield ... it was great when he scored, because as a defender he got more points awarded.

    Can't use that trick this year though ... :(

    ReplyDelete
  135. That said Adam, my curse is already working ...I've got Drogba in the team, and you can guess out of my 15 who the only on listed as 'doubtful' is. Haha

    ReplyDelete
  136. AnfieldHopeful said...
    Airtricity League 1-7 Man Utd

    Why do they even bother with these games...seems like such a waste of time and the potential for injury is always high...really...Airtricity league??? next thing you know they'll be pre-seasoning (sounds like a cookery blog now) with Port Vale.

    ----------

    grrr

    you're names on the list now AH for a personalised gloat come the glorious day

    actually all your names are on that list

    ReplyDelete
  137. Yeah I had him last season after he got in the team regularly. He looks on great form pre-season too. Good news. I think he's more of a winger than a full back anyhow - and it gives great balance with him out there on the wing. Who do you reckon will be playing up front this season? I'd love to see Pavyluchenko getting a regular start. He's a great player. Robbie hasn't been the same since Rafa fucked him up.

    ReplyDelete
  138. spit i agree - the "we're crap because we're swamped with foreigners" seems a bit like BNP presents Match of the Day

    BUT there is an argument that first team opportunities for the 18-22 year olds are restricted by the number of older seasoned pros from abroad.

    take wilshere; H argues he's not ready - so he's
    ready for Bolton but not for Arsenal that "ready" just means "not good enough".

    well OK that might be the case but not good enough compared to who?

    ans : the foreigners.

    how does he get as good as the foreigners?

    ans: he needs to play matches at that level

    why can't he play these matches/

    ans : becasue the team is full of foreigners.

    solution : fewer foreigners. you'd have to admit some of them are here not because they're better ie more basic talent, but because they're cheaper - so english greed plays a part

    i thnk the new quota system, although not perfect is a step forward and should give these young guys more of a chance

    Wilshere could just go and play for Bolton of course. he might get a bit of a stiff neck watching the ball sailing over his head on Route 1 through to their striker/thug, though ...(hello trott!)

    ReplyDelete
  139. i see wilshere's about to be called up for England.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Now i am as open minded as the next skin head, but i think that foreigners in the english game is half the problem... but the other half is the lack of english layers in the foreign game. Young lads from all over the world are willing to say farewell to there families and travel to a foreign land to try and make it, how many english lads have teh gumption to do that? We need to adjust the balance and havea situation where English lads are encouraged to go ply there trade in a new land, and where less foreing players are encouraged to fill the FA leagues...

    Blogs, the androis dancing in triangles around prawn sanwiches comment is one of the funniest/on-point things i ever read.

    ReplyDelete
  141. I hope Pavyluchenko gets some more starts this season, especially if he's on the sort of form he was when he took his chance last season.

    We do need another striker though, someone that gives us some options other than playing 4-4-2 all the time, hopefully with some experience in Europe to boot.

    ReplyDelete
  142. RBA I believe you have a valid point. While some players like McManman, Lineker, Owen, Woodgate, Ray Wilkins, Mark Hughes and Paul Ince have gone abroad to play and there are a few others there aren't many who would prefre to play in Eastern Europe on less money than being in a Premier League reserve team.

    Also given how the England team performs which clubs would really want them

    ReplyDelete
  143. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/8888237.stm

    -------------------------

    What the fuck?!?! You mean they're not going to burn out the young talent by have them play in both the U21's and the senior team this year.

    ReplyDelete
  144. Start with 2nd Div teams abroad, AND learn the language

    ReplyDelete
  145. Good night for top Eng clubs in Germany last night.NOT NOT NOT

    HSV v Chavs 2-1
    BVB v Man Shitee 3-1

    ReplyDelete
  146. Afternoon, almost, all.

    FBH mate, what happens on the stag, stays on the stag! But let's just say, the woman on hen party's where all over our group like fly's to shit!!

    Brilliant weekend. I would recommend a stag party to Liverpool.

    ReplyDelete
  147. Spitfire said...
    Now then Scousers, hummus or spring rolls?
    ----------------------------------------------

    Dont really care one way or the other..just need enough dough to bite into a top striker. It's not like either one of them is likely to work towards bringing ticket prices down or making the pies tastier. All us fans can hope for is to have a good team that wins stuff(carling cup would be welcomed with open arms after last seasons debacle)...

    As for Christian Poulsen replacing Masch...dont know..mixed thoughts on that one...wouldve thought Woy shouldve gone for someone younger, preferably one of the kids already breaking through into the first team

    ReplyDelete
  148. Aftnoon Ngog (aka nGAG)
    Waht are you on about. Talk football, I'm tired of stripper talk as is (that's because Robbo refused to put more WOGOSEWOG) - gotta blame someone!! - but on the brighter side! Where did you say the stag party is?

    ReplyDelete
  149. http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/paulfletcher/2010/08/can_anyone_stop_southampton.html#240436

    Good blog this one and I'm tipping

    Southampton, Swindon and Bournemouth to go up

    Relegation

    Daggers
    Tranmere
    MK Dons (cos they have appointed a 29 yr old manager & John Gorman)
    Walsall

    That said I think it is going to be a very tight league which with Sheff Wed and Charlton still in it should push up attendances and income for teh smaller teams in the division

    ReplyDelete
  150. Hey guys, long time, what's going on? There's an awful lot of football related talk going on in here...

    ReplyDelete
  151. Afternoon Monk.

    Liverpool are rubbish!! (Is that better? ie football talk - Haha)

    ReplyDelete
  152. Hey Indie!!
    Let me bring you up to speed. Nothing's up. Now you're up to speed!!

    ReplyDelete
  153. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...
    Afternoon Monk.

    Liverpool are rubbish!! (Is that better? ie football talk - Haha)
    ======================================
    Yup, that't better.... and if I add.
    Man City are more rubbish than Liverpool..... That's enough football talk for a whole month

    ReplyDelete
  154. The Tribal Monk® said...
    Hey Indie!!
    Let me bring you up to speed. Nothing's up. Now you're up to speed!!
    -----------------------------------------------
    Cool, it's like I never left. Except Robbo seems to have gone a bit off the rails on the pictures. An octopus, a fat man in a mankini and a girl about to do a Britney Spears (in my mind). Certainly keeps things interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Spits, you make some valid points and I agree with most.

    RBA, your arguement is spot on, I've said it before too, the english are too scared to leave their comfort zone.

    Blogidy, I think Wilshere is ready to make an impact, but there's no way he's ready to start all games, I don't think he started all games at Bolton either.

    ReplyDelete
  156. mornin' Lads,

    Blog, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever read from you, or anyone else for that matter, route 1? Pah. We have more routes to goal than the Karma Sutra.

    ReplyDelete
  157. tone1947 said...
    Good night for top Eng clubs in Germany last night.NOT NOT NOT

    HSV v Chavs 2-1
    BVB v Man Shitee 3-1
    ----
    Tone, I saw this on another site;

    Here’s the list of preseason games lost by the top 7 clubs:

    Arsenal:

    Chelski:
    1:2 Hamburg
    1:2 Frankfurt
    1:3 Ajax

    Man Indebted:
    2:3 Guadalajara
    1:2 Kansas City

    Liverpool:
    0:1 Monchengladbach
    0:1 Kaiserslautern

    Merc Citeh:
    1:3 Dortmund
    0:3 Inter
    1:2 NY Red Bulls

    Tottenham:
    1:4 Villareal

    Aston Villa:
    1:4 Benfica
    1:2 Bohemians
    --------
    You know what this means???

    Well, nothing, vilch, zero, nada, niets.
    Pre-season is just to get players up to speed, it doesn't mean a thing.

    ReplyDelete
  158. so we shouldn't read too much into our 0-0 draw at Falkirk H?

    ReplyDelete
  159. match of the day, 1936,

    http://www.britishpathe.com/record.php?id=6133

    spurs playing in the mud and gloom - i say look theres the ball over there!

    and port vale playing in 6 inches of snow. grimsby start the game in overcoats - "A rum show and snow mistake"

    joe cole wasnt the first footballing thickie - instead of adverts vale have the alphabet on display around the old hanley ground (i think) in a futile attempt to teach them how to read

    ReplyDelete
  160. Here's an unusual purchase from Keano.

    A former S'land player.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/i/ipswich_town/8859226.stm

    ReplyDelete
  161. football is better when the english economy collapses. theyll be paid buttons soon. theyll all be off playing in the inuit igloo league and the Tierra della Fuego Sunday League soon. the foreigners will decamp and we'll be back to 1936, the mud the gloom and the alphabet hoardings

    AND A GOOD THING TOO!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  162. There we go!! That's now the end of Wiltshere's career. I'm really scared now. . . . . . . .why we wanna overhype him, the lad's still young and we don't need that for him, not now. Please give the lad a chance, let him play a few more games, then we'll think about playing him senior footbal

    ReplyDelete
  163. Trott, my apologies, ive done a bit of reseacrch using all possible research methods, including google, and have unearthed footage of Bolton's kamaSutra training methods in practice

    http://funwithsmiley.blogspot.com/2009/01/kamasutra-positions.html

    ReplyDelete
  164. Means nothing Trott, wouldn't be too happy about it though. ;p
    --
    Blogs, they used to have the letters on the hoardings at Highbury too (in the 70's) Didn't it have something to do with half time scores in other matches?

    ReplyDelete
  165. wilsheres in the england squad, TM, lets overhype him, then underhype him for a few years then play with his mind and IF he's strong enough to survive THEN he'll get to play regularly for Bolton in the Indian KamaSutra League in their new kit - cotchless shorts and shirts with nipple-tassles

    ReplyDelete
  166. The Tribal Monk® said...
    There we go!! That's now the end of Wiltshere's career. I'm really scared now. . . . . . . .why we wanna overhype him, the lad's still young and we don't need that for him, not now. Please give the lad a chance, let him play a few more games, then we'll think about playing him senior footbal

    -----
    Not possible Monk, in true English fashion we need to heap all our expectations on his shoulders and overhype him to the hilt.

    ReplyDelete
  167. news to me, H. are you sure it wasnt how osama bin laden sent secret messages to his terorist army from his hide-away at the Clock End?

    ReplyDelete
  168. Cotchless shorts Blog? I should think so too, the modern game is relentless.

    I imagine Wiltshire will be playing left wing, as the left over position?

    ReplyDelete
  169. or lets do what barcalona do and stick him the first team and let him play

    ReplyDelete
  170. classic Blog, it's just missing the one of El Mandy with his thumb up his own arse.

    ReplyDelete
  171. i agree with adam. how can he ever be ready if he deosnt play? if he's good enough he's old enough. wg grace opened the batting for england when he was FOUR years old!

    ReplyDelete
  172. ha ha ha ha ha..........El Mandy, oh no Trott

    ReplyDelete
  173. as the economy collapses, we will become tougher and stronger. children will bring themselves up by scavenging. wilshere's cotton wool swaddling will fall away and he will grow some designer stubble and sprout a snarl. tacitus rightly said the ancient brits were enslaved not by the legions but by warm baths and roman dinner parties and as the situation worsens and the Banks finally monoploise ALL the money in the coutry, here in modern day englandland, there shall arise in the southeast a new footballing messiah. he shall be tough. he shall be "ready". no foreigner shall stand in his way and he shall lead us to the Holy Grail. and his name shall be Wilshere!!

    World Cup 2014. Its in the bag. put a monkey on it.

    ReplyDelete
  174. whats the reading on the overhypeometer?

    ReplyDelete
  175. adampsb said...
    or lets do what barcalona do and stick him the first team and let him play
    ------------------------------------------------------

    They didn't do it with Fabregas ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  176. blogdignag said...
    whats the reading on the overhypeometer?
    --------------------------------------------------------

    I believe it's currently at "The New Paul Scholes", so not far to go to reach Rooney's high of "The White Pele".

    ReplyDelete
  177. Agreeing with Adam Blog?

    That's the path to the dark side. You'll bewanting Owen, Foster, no legs Hargreaves and GNev in the England team next.

    Better still lats play Wilshere in every game a la Rooney and completely knacker him.

    ReplyDelete
  178. Newcastle midfielder Joey Barton has grown a moustache in an attempt to help build team spirit at St James Park for the coming season.
    Full story: Daily Mirror
    ----
    Were the spirits raised cos noone (plymouth) recognised him and thought he had left?

    ReplyDelete
  179. blogdignag said...
    whats the reading on the overhypeometer?
    ==============================================
    3

    ReplyDelete
  180. http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/08/breath-and-count-to-ten.html

    read it or ghosts will hide your shoes!

    ReplyDelete
  181. Been there already mang, but wierdly enough my trainers are missing.

    ReplyDelete
  182. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  183. anyone who want the link to 80% off beauty treatments and fuck me by the sound of you you all need it will now have to visit rba's blog advising on how not to become raoul moat (i know theres an O in raoul because one of his dickwitted fans had it tattooed misspelt on his arm)

    ReplyDelete
  184. 'FK Rabotnicki charged by Uefa with the improper conduct of fans during visit of Liverpool'


    Well I did try to warn them that FIFA would take a dim view of their attempts to turn the Liverpool XI into Badniks ...

    ReplyDelete
  185. blogdignag said...
    re : H2H + Kylie in internet tryst scandal.

    H, im sure youre a good looking and charismatic man, but im pretty sure your missus will know you were joking

    4 August 2010 23:52
    ---
    He's talking about you lot (in need of beauty products)

    ReplyDelete
  186. ok, get ready to turn the page. My work here is done.

    ReplyDelete

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