Monday, 13 September 2010

Fergie's Softer Side?

Is Fergie going soft? Letting a lad have the weekend off cos his marriage is on the rocks? Crikey, I wish we could all go into our bosses and bleat about conjugal complications and get to put out feet up. What next? We find out he’s a fondness for carnations and his favourite musician is Kenny G?

Music to fall into a coma to

Nah. ‘Course not. Rooney wasn’t dropped cos he’s going to get some stick from Toffee fans. He always gets that. Young Mr ‘Once a Blue, Twice Blown’ [in the back office of a night-club] is guaranteed the sort of reception at Goodison that would make the sudden appearance of Pope Benedict XVI in the Shankhill Road look like a WI coffee morning.

There was much talk of what the Gwladys Street End had in mind for Rooney. I understand Bob Marley’s ‘No Woman, No Kai’ was but the start of a cracking medley that included:

Edwin Starr’s anti-prostitution rallying call: “Whore – (Good God y’all!) – what is she good for? – absolutely nothin’”;

And The Kaiser Chiefs sing-along
‘Rooney, Rooney, Rooney, Rooney (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhhhh)
Do ya do ya do do ya? (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhhhh)
Know how much to pay a hooker? (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhhhh)
Can you go online and book ‘er?’ (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhhhh)

Turns out Fergie ditched Wazza cos he’s fed up of the lad. The Sun said the Govan Beetroot gave him a right ‘roasting’ - a term which has for the past few years has conjured up the wrong image in my head.

Still Wayne’s back in training for the Rangers game tomorrow night and I’m sure ‘Gers fans will be giving him a quiet night.

‘Course none of this would matter if United had held on for the win. But Everton’s late equalisers ruined left a lot of us grinning and leaping like triumphant X Factor hopefuls for the rest of the afternoon. Or at least until news came through from Loftus Road of another Caledonian cringefest from the Boro.

Krissy Boyd came with a good reputation but one goal apart I’m beginning to understand what’s meant by the phrase Scotch Missed. It’ll come good mind. I mean you only have to look at how magnificently the Scottish national team over came the might of Liechten-bloody-stein to know the Boro are on to a good thing.

There’s more potential needle awaiting the Hairy Scouse Scoundrel at OT when Liverpool come visiting on Sunday.

Not that the backchat will come from the Liverpool players judging by the performance at St. Andrew’s (who is by the way the patron saint of Middlesbrough Football Club).

In recent weeks many people have dogged by the question ‘What’s the point of Shaun Wright-Phillips?’ but it’s as the two-times table to Professor Steven Hawking when compared to the question ‘What’s the point of Lucas Leiva?’

Every time I watch this bloke I have to remind myself that Lucas is the former captain of the Brazilian Under-20 team. He led the team to victory in the 2007 South American Championships scoring 4 goals in the process.

I mean that’s shocking information, isn’t it? Like finding out that Kelly Brook has a degree in nuclear physics, or George Osborne has met a poor person. (Is it me or has ‘Daz’ Osborne got the bluey-whiteness of a well laundered bedsheet, hasn’t he?)

Here's Kelly thinking: "Why is it that gravity is such a weak force when compared to electromagnetism and the strong and weak nuclear forces?"

Lucas scoring? Captaining? Winning? It doesn’t add up. I mean, were it not for the fact that, sadly for Liverpool fans, he stays on the pitch, we’d be talking about Brazil’s answer to Lee Cattermole.

Maybe we’ve yet to see the best of him. And maybe we’ve already seen the best of his centre-forward Fernando Torres. I don’t know what’s wrong with young Nando. But at the moment he couldn’t look more like an adolescent schoolgirl if he sat cross-legged on the edge of Hodgson’s desk twirling his dyed black hair in his index finger.

I think I tipped Liverpool for third this season. Cancel that. Woy sees promising signs – and he knows what he’s doing, that bloke – but hellfire he must be the sort of bloke who falls in a vat of cowshit and says ‘Well at least it’s not chicken!’

I can’t help but think that Liverpool’s current problems have less to do with the thinness of the playing staff and more to do with the fact that the Yank planks are still in charge of the debt.

RBS appeared to have moved the Americans' debt into what they call the ‘toxic assets division’ which sounds like a financial lynch mob, doesn’t it? In July accounts suggested that Tom n George owed, in total, £383 million to RBS. They reckon they should get £800 million for Liverpool. Right. More chance of

I mean clearly these blokes are very successful businessmen. Hicks founded the very successful investmetn business Hicks, Muse, Tate and Furst – it has a sister company that is advising Wayne Rooney called Chicks Booze Wait and Burst.

George N. Gillett likes his meat and currently controls: Petaluma Poultry (natural and organic chicken products); Snowball Foods (processor of turkey and chicken products); Kings Delight (more turkey and chicken products); B3R Country Meats (processes beef); Coleman Natural Products (processes pork products and lamb); Gerhard’s Napa Valley Sausage (a producer of gourmet sausage products made primarily from poultry). You can see now why he’s making such a bloody awful meal of running Liverpool.

'We can highly recommend all o' l'il ole George's lovely products!'

I mean we've all enjoyed a bit of Mersey Misery but both of you... Go! In the name of Shankly, go!

In the meantime I’m looking forward to Gerard Houllier’s first game in charge of Villa. I wonder if he knows when that is yet. Or who his number two is. Or whether he's signed a contract. Or who he is. Bless.

777 comments:

  1. not the best blog Robbo's ever done to be onest -seems to meander a lot. It's like he's going from one island to another.

    http://adampsb.blogspot.com/2010/09/between-two-islands.html

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was in Starbucks yesterday when I suddenly realised I needed to fart. The music was pretty loud, so I timed my farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my latte and then noticed Rafa Benitez leading the charge of 6,000,000,000 people coming to kick the shit out of me and calling me a chipmunk faced, t**y voting, PSB loving cunt.But luckily AdamPSB came to my rescue.

    Cos I'm Gary Neville.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Adam was torn in a terrible dilema, cos right next door in the Carphone Wearhouse, Neil Tennant was on the receiving end of a hands-free kicking and was calling out for a South Swindon boy to Go West and save him. What will Adam do?
    1) Save Neil the 80s synth-tat 'legend'
    2) Save Gary the shit facial-haired chipmunk

    Ah well, I'd love to sit here and slag the G-man off all night but I got blasted all over the tennis court by my better half yesterday and my body has been aching all day. Best hit the sack. Laters.

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  4. Fair enough - it's a meandering blog but you only get one cogent argument in five in any of me blogs - you should know that.

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  5. Fergie's gone soft i tells ya........... And the nicest thing, they're getting hit at their own game. It's them that concede during Fergie time nowadays. Good medicine

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  6. Wassup peeps, Thanks for the best wishes (from previous blog)

    Footy eh? Great innit.

    I had a long session this w/e, went to bed (passed out) Sunday morning, woke up a few hours later expecting to have the worlds bigest hangover, but didn't due to the fact that I was still drunk. Briliant! Continueed the session and went to bed at a normal time last night, (04:30) got up a few hours ago, hade a walk and ate some greasy shit, now I'm as right as rain.
    I think I'll take it easy for a bit now, no alcohol for me until at least tomorrow..... well maybe later tonight then, first up, this blog.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I was at the Old Trafford bar yesterday when I suddenly realised I needed to fart. The music was pretty loud, so I timed my farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my Prawn Sandwich and then noticed Rafa Benitez leading the charge of 67,000 people coming to kick the shit out of me and calling me a chipmunk faced, t**y voting, PSB loving cunt. But luckily AdamPSB and Alex Hairdrier came to my rescue.

    Cos I'm Gary Neville.

    ReplyDelete
  8. it's a cracker. Good stuff, punnery extroadinaire. Colleen has put her foot down this time. No more nights out with Ricky Hatton.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The Tees Mouth said...

    Fair enough - it's a meandering blog but you only get one cogent argument in five in any of me blogs - you should know that
    ________________________________
    I thought it was magic darts Robbo.

    How did you get the picture of the PSB fan that Adam got chatting to on Yarm night out 1?

    Dear old Woy has his work cut out.I agree that whoever takes charge there is in serious trouble because of a lack of cash.Still,2 seasons there and then he can replace Capello.

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  10. Kenny G? nah

    Kelly? defo

    Keep up the good work Robbo. You pornmeister you.

    Anyway, on a serious note. Anyone notice that the inverse square of 25g darts = the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle?

    Strange indeedy.

    Tip of the week:

    Dundee United to beat Inverness Clachnicuddin for the Asbestos sponsored SPL. Each Way bet has to be Greenock Academicals to bin(Laden) Loch Ness Monsters Inc.

    C'mon the Terrors of Tayside.

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  11. I was at the Old Trafford bar yesterday when I suddenly realised I needed to fart. The music was pretty loud, so I timed my farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my Prawn Sandwich and then noticed Rafa Benitez leading the charge of 67,000 people coming to kick the shit out of me and calling me a chipmunk faced, t**y voting, PSB loving cunt. But luckily AdamPSB and Alex Hairdrier came to my rescue.Adam by singing "Go West" and Old Bacon face by breathing stale red wine fumes on them.

    Cos I'm Gary Neville.

    ReplyDelete
  12. BTW, this is defo my last re-incarnation. Formerly known as Darth Crooks, Jock Vinegar etc

    NO MORE INNUENDO!

    Hail hail seetzar. The king is dead, long live the harry.

    Ray Clemence for Pope.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I was in Starbucks yesterday when I suddenly realised...........What a Year!

    ReplyDelete
  14. The Tees Mouth said...
    Fair enough - it's a meandering blog but you only get one cogent argument in five in any of me blogs - you should know that.
    =========================================
    To be honest Robbo, none of them regulars really do an argument about the blog. Like this one has already been jacked by that chipmunk, t***y voting, ugly git GNev and his prawn sandwich latte combo.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Whats wrong with ya Adam? (retorical question)

    Good stuff Robbo.

    I had a sports channel installed in the Dungheap Saturday just in time to catch the last five minutes of the Everton, IOU game, I too was grining and leaping, even more so after the Arsenal, Bolton game, sorry Trotts mate, your lads put up a good fight and the ref bolloxed you up by giving a pretty bogus looking red card.

    As for Boro, you got get rid of WGS asap and deport all the sweatys, as Hanson and I have said before, you'll never win anything with kilts.

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  16. Robbo, don't condescend. Even a meandering blog is waaaaay more effectual, enlightening than the shite that is proffered on the BBC.

    Keep it real, true, straight from the ballsack and ye shall be delivered.

    Amen

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  17. You'll never win anything with tits.........unless your in a wet t-shirt contest and they are huge!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...
    You'll never win anything with tits
    ----
    How do you explain IOU and Chelsea's success then?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Helsinki Arab, aint it rather Shalom, in Arab that is?
    No Amen.......

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  20. i heard there was a secret chord
    that david played and it pleased the lord
    but you don't really care for music, do you
    well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
    the minor fall and the major lift
    the baffled king composing hallelujah

    Robbooooooooooooooooooooo. Don't give in to weakness.

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  21. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...
    You'll never win anything with tits
    ----
    How do you explain IOU and Chelsea's success then?
    =======================
    They's got them huge tits. And Fergie is a Scott

    ReplyDelete
  22. Ngog and Monk.

    Please don't ruin big tits for the rest of us.

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  23. Loha Tribal Monk.

    Can you keep a secret?

    In Scotland, Arab = Dundee United supporter. There.

    So, Shalom, Shalovski, Shalibrahim is all the same. As long as DUFC win anything.

    C'mon the Arabs of Tayside.

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  24. Thanks for the consolation H but we got what we deserved. We'll see if they appeal the red but might be best to take it and get it over with with Villa and ManU up next. We'll be sending our Bolton hooker bus to the Midlands tomorrow in preparation for the weekend fixture.

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  25. Whilst hunting for GNev jokes,I found this.

    Very chucklesome.

    Ngog Year.

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  26. Won today but I didn't play :-( Watched MUTV all night to see whether Sir said he missed me. Am sure they edited it out. Hung out with Rio until he told me to 'go away innit'. Will tell Sir tomorrow. Deffo not a penalty today - gave that girl Boa Morte a nasty stare after the game to let him know that I know. Man in wheelchair laughed at my moustache. Cried myself to sleep.

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  27. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...

    You'll never win anything with tits.

    ______________________________
    Is that why PSB have never won anything?
    (apart from potato most like it's owner.Butlins May 87)

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  28. BTW Tribal Monk

    It is to do with putting sand on the pitch. Don't ask me. I never made it up.

    C'mon Al Qaeda of the Silvery Tay!

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  29. Wednesday

    Sir not happy today. He didn't even cheer up when I gave him my drawing. Wonder if he'll put it on his fridge with the others? Saw a small boy laughing at me so held him down until he said that Manchester United were the best team in the whole wide world. Feel better now. Bought some Re-Gane and put on top lip. Can't wait until the morning to see my bushy, manly 'tache.

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  30. Sunday

    Took Sir an apple. But Weasley :-) gave him a bottle of red wine so he'll probably play on Tuesday. Creep. Went to Mum's for dinner but she tried to make me eat sprouts and then laughed when I banged my fists on the kitchen lino. She won't laugh again. Read Sir's book in bed. Coloured in moustache with marker. Looks manly.

    Monday

    Rained at training. Marker wasn't permanent.

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  31. Anyway Monkster

    If your Ashley Young does not produce the goods tonight then I am top of Robbo H2H La Liga.

    Rock on losers

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  32. 13 September 2010 13:45
    jacksofbuxton said...
    Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...

    You'll never win anything with tits.

    ______________________________
    Is that why PSB have never won anything?
    (apart from potato most like it's owner.Butlins May 87)
    ---------------------

    And several Brit Awards, 3 Ivor Novello awards, a couple of Grammy nominations, Music Week's Best Video Of The Year Award for Being Boring, and a World Arts award presented by President Gorbachev, several design awards for Stage productions and CD / Vinyl artwork

    so they do win things

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  33. I've noticed that Arabia and i can tell ya, Young's gon bag me 10 points on this one

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  34. Music Week's Best Video Of The Year Award for Being Boring

    A very apt description of their hackneyed 80s synth tat.

    Also,we've recently discovered that GNev likes them.

    Nuff said.

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  35. And several Brit Awards, 3 Ivor Novello awards, a couple of Grammy nominations, Music Week's Best Video Of The Year Award for Being Boring, and a World Arts award presented by President Gorbachev, several design awards for Stage productions and CD / Vinyl artwork
    ===========================================
    I know the feeling Adam. We've won the Emirates cup for the tenth year in a row, we've been top 4 the last 15 seasons, We've beaten Real Madrid away, we've beaten Inter away, we've......... zzzzzzzzz

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  36. we've......... zzzzzzzzz
    -------------

    like most of the crowd at the Emirates does every week.

    What is Arsene Wenger's favourite Doctor Who episode?

    Silence In The Library

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  37. Oh well, looks like my team will remain undefeated in the H2H, one of the few anyway. I've got Etherington and Dunne to play tonight and a 7 point cushion ... next up is No Froggies, whoever they are.

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  38. well i liked it, meandering at a bad thing...

    Arnold moon lads...

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  39. Young's gon bag me 10 points on this one
    ===========================
    I'm counting on the magic of the Houlier one to tweek something out of Young..............

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  40. I'm hoping Stoke win 2-1 with goals from Albrightson, Shawcross and Etherington - will be well happy if that unlikely scenario unfolds

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  41. It was called the library because that sounds like with Highbury. No snoozing at the Grove (Emirates) this season, ten goals, for us, in two home games kept the supporters awake.

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  42. adampsb said...

    we've......... zzzzzzzzz
    -------------

    like most of the crowd at the Emirates does every week.
    __________________________________
    No,more like the sound of PSB "fans" at the latest big gig they've played(Dog and Partridge,Outer Hebrides)

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  43. Right lads, I'm off to Mexico!

    May pop in while I'm over there. May not.

    Enjoy the next few weeks, cos I will!

    Ciao for now!!!!

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  44. Ngogo,
    enjoy Mexico.

    Oh well,Ngogo has Ngone.

    Ngonad.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...

    Right lads, I'm off to Mexico!

    May pop in while I'm over there. May not.
    ________________________
    As long as it's popped in with Mrs Ngogo.

    We know what you Un**ed lads are like.

    ReplyDelete
  46. jacksofbuxton said...
    Yesterday's stage ran quite close to where we line and where I work.

    Jacks mate - makes me feel proud - the boy dun good

    Now to catch up on this blog.

    Strachan sacked yet?

    ReplyDelete
  47. Hasta la vista, Ngog, unas buenas vacaciones.

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  48. Have a good trip Ngogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogo.

    tit.

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  49. Thanks FBH.

    Although I'm not quite the same level as The Master,as you can see I soudfbhjn9vc95i A^%654fhgi &**(*% efwkf g[gfrjv89 covered in piss.

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  50. I see FBH is demanding his manager's head.

    What sort of a fan would do that?

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  51. I'm hoping Aston Villa win 3-2 with goals from Albrightson, Shawcross and Etherington and 2 from Young - will be well happy if that unlikely scenario unfolds, hey Adam

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  52. 1008 BST: Manchester United are reportedly stepping up their pursuit of Panathinaikos winger Sotiris Ninis.
    Full story: imscouting.com
    ----
    Sounds more like a charachter from Star Trek then a footballer, maybe SAF hopes he can find some space out on the flanks.

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  53. or fill some space in his back 4.

    That's 3-1 up after 90 minutes.(I just like to type that)

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  54. Coventry City boss Aidy Boothroyd expects to complete a deal to sign Marlon King this week after revealing the move is "inevitable". Former Wigan striker King, 30, who has been looking for a new club since leaving prison in July, has been training with Coventry for the last two weeks.
    Full story: Daily Mirror
    ----
    No one wanted to talk to him cos he was locked up and now he's getting sent to Coventry?

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  55. Robbo - nice blog mate - as good a Parmo, Chips & Salad!!!

    ReplyDelete
  56. Helsinki Arab said...

    Oi where you from - loved the Tayside Terrors ref

    Nice diary entry Jacks

    Im not talking footy today!!! It hurts!!!

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  57. FBH,

    Do we ever talk about football on here?

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  58. Talking of footy, who thinks Mancini will still be in the Citeh job by Christmas?

    A home draw to B'burn, coupled with recent results, is not the form of a top 4 team.

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  59. H2H, who's a top 4? Man City? BAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW

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  60. Top of the robbo La Liga.

    Look down on me and weep worms.

    Capello? The next manager is Craig Levein. keep watching. the EPL is one step away from bankruptcy.

    C'mon the terrors of old Dundee town.

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  61. I wouldn't 'count your chickens star', I actually have 38 points (with subs etc) and still have Warnock to play tonight...ooooo close

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  62. Damn ... forgot you had Walcott to sub out ... I've Dunne and Etherington to play. Close indeed.

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  63. The Tangerines are a top 4 team......FACT!

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  64. Oh MR,please don't go down the "fact" road.That's only one step away from "yo mamma" remarks.

    Still,enjoy the sunshine at the top of the league.It's been 2 years since anything tangerine was that high in the league.Phil Brown must look back fondly on that...

    ReplyDelete
  65. Crikey Jacks... you know about my blog even before i write it... thank you very much sir!

    yeah as Jacks said

    http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/09/2010.html


    today i slag off the tory party and wasps


    (the insects not White Anglo Saxon Protestants)

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  66. RBA Im sure all White Angolan Sexy Prostitutes will be relieved - now that is one hell of a typo!! :)

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  67. Are you talking about Wayne Rooney again FBH?

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  68. FBH, White Angolan Sexy Prostitute?

    Albin-hoe?

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  69. Afternoon all, late on here today due some warped and misguided thinking that I ought to do some work before posting ..

    Dunno knwo about 'grinning' at Man U result, don't think I've laughed so much in ages especially due to the Fergie time element. Sorry to all the members of the Manchester Raving Loony Party on here - not you STGP - but it was certainly laughing at U. (But please do feel free to throw this back in my face when Chelsea balls up royally as they have habit of doing when on a good run.)

    Belated Happy Birthday to you H2H - not sure about the not drinking though, there was an article in The Sun the other day (so it must be true) that it can be more dangerous to suddenly stop drinking than it is to drink to excess ...

    Robbo you seem to be using Rooneys little games away from home as an excuse to post more pics of scantily clad women, please do try and even this up for me with another photo of Mourinho (scantily clad or not)

    Finally Jacks - agree you about Ancelotti tactics. Where is his priorities, not putting Drogba on til late in the match when every point counts in FFL.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Cheers BHB.

    I just ran downstairs and tapped myself a cold one, you can never be too careful.

    ReplyDelete
  71. whoopss...another loss in the FFL (unless albrighton gets 2 goals today)...3 losses out of 4. well atleast liverpool have a better start than me so now. With ManU up next, things are not looking good, but as always we might have lost to birmingham, but fully expect to come away from OT with 3 points. Unless we play lucas again that is.
    Cant believe woy went it against birmingham with 2 holding midfielders..what are they, fucking barcelona! should be good to have joe cole back though.

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  72. happy birthday H2...what a coincidence, was me mother in law's bday as well same day. drove down to niagara falls, but no luck..there was always someone watching, so had to get her back home.

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  73. AH, yeah, get Cole back in to miss a penalty and get red carded, that's what L'pool have been missing over the last few games.

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  74. Re earlier post, sorry as Drogba is my captain in FFL mentioned him in post, when should have been Malouda.

    Thats two days in a row I've made a Year of myself on here!

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  75. H2 - while he might get a red card and miss a penalty, he'd still have done more than Lucas playing 90 mins. LL did show some promise first couple of games, but he's back to his best now.
    The Raul dude looks like a good buy though.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Only 2 days BHB, I wouldn't worry about that, some have been doing it for years.

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  77. Think Im gunna resign from FFFl - thats if I havent already :)

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  78. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/8993596.stm

    UK only but Capello's a bit superstitious - not sure whther to be impressed or shocked??

    ReplyDelete
  79. War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. AMBROSE BIERCE (1842-1914)

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  80. Raphael fanny Fart is the signing of the year for Harry who reckons he is the new rooney ?????on the pitch maybe and he grew up in a caravan and was a man u fan but there the dissimilarities become even more stark - he sounds like a decent bloke and his mrs is unbelievable

    http://babescm.blogs.dhnet.be/media/01/00/1207465728.gif

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  81. The gaffer's quite happy with my efforts FBH ... bit of a naff day in the regular league but I'm aiming to keep an unbeaten start in the H2H
    I've altered my attack and midfield though, I've Chamach and Scholes in for Bent and Parker.

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  82. So if Brad saves a pen, Warnock has maybe 3 assisits, and Delap gets sent off, I maybe in with a chance against H2H

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  83. I just need a 0-0 draw, or any kind of draw really so long as Etherington plays 90 minutes and keeps away from the ref's cards ..

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  84. I must take another look at my FFFFFFFL team - think Ive got a rite shite bunch of lazy sods

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  85. Your team doesn't look to bad in theory FBH .... Rooney being left out would have caught a lot of people off guard and Walcott was starting to look good until he got crocked.

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  86. some interesting games in the Robbo head to head league....

    Nice to see I came out on top of the "expat's in NY/NJ" Derby/Needle match with Trotter...Must of been the home advantage I had... those Joisey boys dont like coming into the city (unless its Snookie of course)....

    Wanders off chanting "who are ya, who are ya" at an imaginary Trotter USA....

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  87. Mistake No.1 - Leaving Gerrard as captain instead of drogba

    Mistake No.2 - Playing Wilshire and leaving Etherington on the bench.

    Well done Adam........bah!

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  88. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  89. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  90. balls.....serves me right for trying to be clever.

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  91. oi Jacks, im helping BHB with her mourinho photos on Robbos Blog campaign...so back off

    ....more wine BHB?

    ReplyDelete
  92. shame on you stgp,

    going all against the bro-code and "the Men commandments" by indulging in erotica centred at another penis bearer.



    some body get the lad a job or ....

    ReplyDelete
  93. stoke beat villa with late goal.

    As you were :)

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  94. fbh,

    saw that down at a pub.

    Met a family from Newcastle (fans) visting their daughter who has a german husband.

    you know your club is in shite position if the local rivals feel bad.

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  95. spit...did you click on the link....there was something for everyone.

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  96. i swear i need to read those FFL rules again...i just went to log out and saw they moved my team around and i got more points.

    Didnt do me that much good cause Adam still beat me. Doh

    ReplyDelete
  97. Smell my cheese! Top of the league at last.

    Spurs in Champions League action tonight. I get Bundesliga on TV here so I've seen quite a bit of Bremen and they look a very good team. I think a draw would be a good result, but they have their first choice centre backs both injured, so maybe we can sneak a win. I've got a feeling it'll be Crouchy up front on his own with Lennon, Huddlestone, Modric, Van der Vaart and Bale behind. Plenty to cause problems there. Come on you Spurs!

    Anyhow, I'm off to uni to design an electrical supply system for a remote aborigine settlement. Apparently they need fridges to keep their grog cold. Peace out.

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  98. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  99. Some good comments on McNumpties latest IOU love-in. I know he's got a reputation as being a Liverpool fan, but he's always writing about IOU, or 'reporting' from Old Trafford. A fan of prawn sandwiches maybe?

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  100. And, no doubt, a fan of the PSB.

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  101. Nice one Etherington :) Win #4 in the H2H.

    A good close game MR mate.

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  102. Scholesy,

    I'm sorry if I'm intruding on your "assisting" BHB.

    You do know that BHB is in fact a CID officer looking to entrap t'internet wierdos?

    Not sure if this is the right place....

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  103. Well done Star....Warnock=0 Etherington=11 , I didn't see that coming

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  104. So it's just me, Helsinki and Ngog undefeated in the H2H after 4 games ....lucky me lol.

    Morning Jack :)

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  105. Morning Star.

    Tottenham could make a £6m move for Newcastle striker Andy Carroll in the January transfer window. The powerful 21-year-old has scored four league goals this season.
    Full story: talkSPORT

    Tottenham want full-back Kyle Naughton to sign a new deal at White Hart Lane before they will allow him to join Portsmouth on loan.
    Full story: Daily Mirror

    Spurs have also been linked with a move for Lazio's Argentine striker Mauro Zarate.
    Full story: imscouting.com

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  106. For Robbo and FBH.

    Middlesbrough manager Gordon Strachan is turning to John Lydon, who was the lead singer of punk band the Sex Pistols, to kick-start the team's season. Strachan recently met Lydon and has been inspired by the words "Anger is an energy" in his 1986 hit Rise. "I hope we are angry because anger is an energy. We are angry with ourselves - there is no one else to blame," said Strachan, whose team lost 3-0 at Queens Park Rangers on Saturday.
    Full story: Daily Mirror

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  107. Big game for my brave lads today.

    Home to QPR.

    Followed by away at Cardiff on Saturday.

    This should give us a decent idea of how we stand at the moment.

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  108. "NORM"

    Well i think Keanes really got you working well, doing a great job, as always he just needed some time and now it is paying dividends.... What a guy!

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  109. Thanks RBA.

    As you know,I've always defended the bog trotting twat against those fly by night types that want him out.

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  110. Carroll's going to have a big year Jack, if Spurs can get him for six mill then that's a real investment for the future.

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  111. Evening chaps. Busy day ahead? How's your daughter coping with her new found fame Jacks?

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  112. I agree Star.Thing is,have you not got enough strikers as it is?

    Morning Noel.If her PA can get me an appointment,I'll ask her.

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  113. Yeah, you stuck by him through thick and thin...


    So then Coleen has taken Wayne back, on the condition that he doesnt do it again, just like last time. He knobbed at least three whores, bragged to his mates that he didn't care if his marriage ended, and still his wife took him back... call me a bit harsh but doesn't kind of just mean that she is as much a ho as them other girls? If she were an ashot girl she'd have stabbed him to death and thrown him off a balcony (this actually happened on my estate a few years back).

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  114. Unusually for a WAG,Colleen doesn't need Rooney.She is a wealthy woman in her own right and isn't daft either.Maybe she just loves the jug eared cock.

    ReplyDelete
  115. PS,

    I assume Rooney's cock is a normal shape.

    He's the jug eared cock.

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  116. If she were an ashot girl she'd have stabbed him to death and thrown him off a balcony (this actually happened on my estate a few years back).
    ___________________________
    Was stabbing him to death not enough?

    He's hardly going to suffer for being thrown from the 14th floor.

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  117. only third floor, and i guess she wanted to make sure... it was in one summer first this guy who was cheating on his mrs got the old knife and throw treatment, then a month later a drug dealer was thrown off a balcony by an incredibly butch lesbien for selling smack to her son...


    As for coleen they say love is blind, in her case it must really help... Mask was hr favourite film growing up... (Although we all know rocky dennis looks more like Dirk Kuyt)

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  118. Ah,the old knife and throw treatment.

    Is that what got Wadey started?

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  119. Haha, yeah summat like that... He started off throwing knives at the cadavers that were littered below all the balconies... you could tell he had a gift even at a young age.

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  120. Maybe the PDC should look at combining forces with the ConDem coalition.

    Wouldn't take Taylor,Whitlock et al long to take out a few work shy dole scroungers.Sky could cover it as well so there would even be some cash earned through sponsorship.

    Best not invite Wolfie Adams along.He'd spend all his time nicking the jewellery off the corpses.

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  121. Jacks....no need mate....ive learnt my lesson the hard way. Just spent the last 12 hours in the local nick. It seems you were right....she didnt even use gloves......sob

    ReplyDelete
  122. The signs were there Scholesy.

    Chelsea fan.

    Nuff said.

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  123. Did she buy you dinner before hand?

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  124. We've only got 4 on the books Jack, one of them Liverpool broke and the midget's gone and got himself injured for a few months ... we've 800 midfielders though.

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  125. Star,I've told you a million times not to exaggerate.

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  126. Play Bale up front.

    He seems to be brilliant everywhere else.

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  127. yeah i know jacks....i didnt spot them. I thought the obsession with the chavs was something we could overcome (so to speak) alas she was copper hence BLUEHELLSBELLS.

    No, i bought her dinner and took her home but i ended up falling asleep on the sofa, must have drunk her drink by mistake....

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  128. As for coleen they say love is blind, in her case it must really help... Mask was hr favourite film growing up... (Although we all know rocky dennis looks more like Dirk Kuyt)

    ------------

    bit harsh on rocky, RBA...

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  129. jacksofbuxton said...
    If she were an ashot girl she'd have stabbed him to death and thrown him off a balcony (this actually happened on my estate a few years back).
    ___________________________
    Was stabbing him to death not enough?

    He's hardly going to suffer for being thrown from the 14th floor.
    -------------------------

    Its the way i want to go, although i would like the marching bands walking over my bloodied corpse (a la Naked Gun).....or going in my sleep i suppose.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Starfire said...
    Carroll's going to have a big year Jack, if Spurs can get him for six mill then that's a real investment for the future.

    ---------------

    Star, i think he still needs to prove himself mate. It might be a one (prem) season wonder thing. By the end of the first season defenders have normally worked someone like him out.

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  131. I think Carroll would be good. He got a few goals when Newcastle were last in the Prem, and he's still only 21. He needs a haircut though if he wants to come to the Lane.

    As well as only having 4 strikers on the books, we've also only got 4 fit defenders. We'll be giving the 1-0-10-0 formation a run out before the season is over.

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  132. So you slept through the cavity search Scholsey?I'd check she isn't flogging your spleen as we speak.

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  133. Noel, perhaps its the hair that makes me think twice. I keep thinking he is brian kilcline!

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  134. I "think" it was a cavity search....

    Where do i begin finding out jacks, is there a website for that kinda thing?

    I normally like to give mine a good airing... (bites knuckle)*

    *Shite Joke Build Up Warning

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  135. I normally like to give mine a good airing... (bites knuckle)*

    *Shite Joke Build Up Warning
    ___________________________________

    Two old men sat in the back garden.

    "It's nice out isn't it?"

    "Yes.I think I'll get mine out as well."

    ReplyDelete
  136. I just had to google Brian Kilcline, Scholsey. I'd say he's more Mark Hately, or David Beckham circa 2003.

    ReplyDelete
  137. 'Allo 'Allo 'Allo, what's going on here then?
    (Sorry don't know what came over me there)

    Morning all

    As for RBA's neighbour Jacks, if a jobs worth doing ..... though possibly a bit more imagination could have been used.

    ReplyDelete
  138. jacksofbuxton said...
    Try The Body Shop website.

    -------------

    heh heh heh

    ReplyDelete
  139. Noel....bugger i just showed my age.

    Are the falkland islands commutable? (apart from argentina....)

    ReplyDelete
  140. Noel.

    You had to google "The Killer"?

    I take it you are quite a young gent then.

    (listen,don't let on.BHB is a copper.Ssshhh.Don't reveal anything without a lawyer present)

    Morning BHB.

    ReplyDelete
  141. BLUEHELLSBELLS said...

    As for RBA's neighbour Jacks, if a jobs worth doing ..... though possibly a bit more imagination could have been used.

    ------------

    Think i got off lightly....well lighter, i dunno how much a spleen weighs.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Jacks, from your post the other day revealing your age, it seems we are both 27.....(ahem)

    ReplyDelete
  143. BLUEHELLSBELLS said...

    As for RBA's neighbour Jacks, if a jobs worth doing ..... though possibly a bit more imagination could have been used.
    ___________________________________
    What,such as
    "He walked into the door your honour."

    "He fell down the stairs your honour."

    Something like that?

    ReplyDelete
  144. I notice that since we "outed" BHB as a Dibble,RBA has gone missing.

    Coincidence?

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  145. "he was so sad about falling on my best knife he jumped clear off the balcony, m'lud"

    ReplyDelete
  146. "When he said lets have a butchers to see if it flies,I took him literally your honour."

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  147. True RBA.

    A more honest gent you couldn't wish to meet.

    (did you manage to source me that knock off steak and stilton pie from "Wrongs Pies"?)

    ReplyDelete
  148. shhhh RBA....BHB is around...dont worry i wont mention your media copying business....

    ReplyDelete
  149. "To be honest,your honour,he'd seen how much money Scholsey made on his spleen he tried to cut it out himself and sadly slipped on the mushy peas I'd spilt whilst making him his favourite Wrights Burger pie,chips and peas."

    ReplyDelete
  150. "Well your honour.He was in the 1st floor Starbucks when he said he needed to fart...."

    ReplyDelete
  151. "Case for the defence?"

    "He's Gary Neville,your honour."

    "Case dismissed.The chipmunk faced,t**y voting,PSB loving git deserved it.I award you an instant knighthood."

    ReplyDelete
  152. gotta fly.....doorbell just rang.....must be the filth...

    ReplyDelete
  153. RedBlueArmy92 said...

    BHB... you really a rozza?
    ___________________________________-
    Chelsea fan.

    Drinks lots of wine.

    Obvious innit?

    I'm surprised she isn't a freemason as well.

    ReplyDelete
  154. ScholesTheGingerPrince said...

    gotta fly.....doorbell just rang.....must be the filth...
    ________________________________
    As long as you don't fly with a knife poking out of your back you should be ok.

    ReplyDelete
  155. "he swore down that is he had some extra weight, say a 12inch bread knife embeded in his chest, he could reach terminal velocity before he hit the floor from the 3 floor... this is just another sad case where physics has taken another life, when will these scientists learn?"

    ReplyDelete
  156. Is it me or are the Lyrics to the classic song 'Young Girl' a bit dodgy? I was just listening to radio 2 and for the first time actually listened to what was being sung.

    YOUNG GIRL
    Young girl, get out of my mind
    My love for you is way out of line
    Better run girl,
    You're much too young girl

    With all the charms of a woman
    You've kept the secret of your youth
    You led me to believe
    You're old enough
    To give me Love
    And now it hurts to know the truth, Oh,

    Young girl get out of my mind
    my love for you is way outta line
    better run girl, your much too young girl

    Beneath your perfume and make-up
    You're just a baby in disguise
    And though you know
    That it is wrong to be
    Alone with me
    That come on look is in your eyes, Oh,

    Young girl get outta my mind
    My love for you is way outta line
    better run girl, Your much too young girl

    So hurry home to your mama
    I'm sure she wonders where you are
    Get out of here
    Before I have the time
    To change my mind
    'Cause I'm afraid we'll go too far, Oh,

    Young girl get outta my mind
    my love for you is way outta line
    better run girl, your much too young girl
    (until fade)

    ReplyDelete
  157. Well thats a paedo anthem... could have been worse though and been an actual "Dodgy" song....

    ReplyDelete
  158. Crimeny... seems the doors were at it to in the song Alabama song (Whiskey Bar)

    "Show me the way
    To the next little girl
    Oh, don't ask why
    Oh, don't ask why
    For if we don't find
    The next little girl
    I tell you we must die
    I tell you we must die
    I tell you, I tell you
    I tell you we must die"

    Is onyone in the world not a raging diddy fiddler? I just looked in the Daily MAil and the answer is YES, diana wasn't.... but now shes dead!

    ReplyDelete
  159. Here "whiskey bar" is a good song though...

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  160. "Well your honour.I was sat in our 3rd floor flat reading my copy of the Daily Mail when he came in singing "Young Girl"......

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  161. I prefer my songs to have simple lyrics that are straight to the point.Something like...

    "3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up".

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  162. thats a catchy little number jacks...

    "3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up"

    ReplyDelete
  163. I like it RBA

    "3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up"

    ReplyDelete
  164. You know, i was considered no more than a do-as-you-likey mind up merchant, when all through last season (and all the seasons before that) i said that Fergy was losing his edge, and that we would see the leathery red veneer that usually adorns his gum chewing fizzog fade in to that of a curmudgeonly old duffer... well its happening, no bad thing to Fergie, its life, and he has achieved more than you could dream of, but its clear to see the fire has gone from his belly... its over.

    "3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up"

    ReplyDelete
  165. Mostly Red - OMG thanks the words - I used to love sining along to that - never again!!!!!

    BTW - ice cold milk on old teeth fillings - effing knacks!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  166. I think the money issue may come to haunt them as well RBA.

    "3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up"

    ReplyDelete
  167. Hello FBH.

    We have adopted a new song on here as the official blog anthem.

    Goes like this...

    "3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up"

    ReplyDelete
  168. Afternoon all!

    Good blog Robbo, now off to reading RBA's.

    ReplyDelete
  169. Juast read Mcdulltys blog on how great Fergy is, i genuinly think he is a terrible writer and comes across a smug smuggy smugger who is also a twat... but the comment at number 2, was teh best ever...

    "2. At 10:51pm on 13 Sep 2010, chris wrote:
    man u are great"



    Awesome... I am glad the beeb ditched its 2 best bloggers and destroyed the one true forum of free football discussion, but is able to maintain a place where such insight as the above is nurtured...


    BBC Blogs are great.

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  170. Watcha. Nipped off to watch Home and Away. I'm 30 Jacks. Not young, but not old enough to know who that Kilcane bloke was. First blokes at Newcastle with bad hair that I can remember are Barry Venison and Darren Peacock.

    Scholesy - the Falklands aren't commutable at all! A Saturday flight to Chile, and a Friday flight to RAF Brize Norton near Oxford. And you're looking at over 2 grand for your ticket too. But if you got a job with a company like VT Communications or Interserve, who run the military base, then they'll give you 2 flights a year, on top of your accommodation, food and a nice tax free salary.

    ReplyDelete
  171. RBA - I made a comment about McGaryNevillea chipmunk-facedtwat's blog earlier on. Surprised about how many comments were allowed on, seeing as they were nearly all slagging him off. Number 5 was a good 'un!

    ReplyDelete
  172. I love this....

    9. At 11:22pm on 13 Sep 2010, TheNeutral wrote:

    Sycophantic ramblings, worst blog i've read from McNulty, and that is saying a lot.

    being followed by ...

    11. At 11:24pm on 13 Sep 2010, kaufman39 wrote:

    more of the same anti-united anti-ferguson droan. mcnulty i expected nothing less.

    Shame on you RBA.This kind of comedy gold is what we pay our license fee for.

    ReplyDelete
  173. Former Celtic and Bristol City winger Evander Sno has suffered a heart attack in a reserve match between his club Ajax and Vitesse Arnhem on Monday.

    The 23-year-old had to revived three times with a defibrillator after collapsing on the pitch.

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  174. it is good jacks...

    11.. is a legend, the whole article is effectively one long fergy blowjob, and this delusional plastic manc still finds it offensive... i misss the more deluded placy mancs...

    ReplyDelete
  175. 3-1 and you fucked it up and also fucked my FFL team.
    ----------
    That's twice now, Rooney didnt play this season and I have scored in 20's.

    ReplyDelete
  176. Fuck maan! I am bottom of the table in head2head league. Played 4 Lost 4
    Bohooo :(

    ReplyDelete
  177. "3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up"

    ReplyDelete
  178. Noel,can I introduce you to the new blog song?

    "3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up"

    Spread it wide and spread it far.(but not near BHB otherwise she'll sell your kidneys)

    ReplyDelete
  179. Jacks - love your song - a nice sentiment

    "3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up
    3-1 and you fucked it up"

    ReplyDelete
  180. RedBlueArmy92 said...

    i misss the more deluded placy mancs...

    __________________________________
    Speaking of which,where is Adam?

    ReplyDelete