Thursday, 30 September 2010

'Arry's Beautful Game

Always sticks in me craw when you hear one of the same-voiced men on Radio 5Live tell yer that it was a good night for British clubs in Europe. Which clubs exactly? Did Port Vale get a point at the San Siro? The mighty Shrewsbury nick a late winner in Madrid.

Nah, just the usual suspects. And I can't pretend that I'm whipped up into a patriotic fervour about watching any of 'em.

Chelsea never looked in bother after John Terry revealed the sort of opportunism and finesse that might normally be reserved for a top footballer’s legal team and a trademark Anelka penalty kick. The one-two-roll-off-my-shoe is a vast improvement on the 2008 final effort. It’s very cool. But when he does miss one he’s going to look a right ninny. Again.

United, having been given a lesson in how to play away in Europe by Rangers, took the Wally Smith approach to Valencia – and added a spicy Mexican finish. Good to see Rio back. Although the Rio back is creakier than an Eastenders plotline and he stood up on the plane over and, bless ‘im, had a booster seat, too. Apparently Gary Neville wouldn’t let him share his pram. Toys everywhere.

"Hey Rio! Get your own armband!"

Apart from Chiquitita’s goal (and what is it with these chumps who can’t put a perfectly decent name on the back of their shirts, eh? I mean there was one fella in Twente Enschede’s had the exotic name of Ruiz, but on the back of his shirt it said ‘Bryan’. Next we’ll have Dimitar Berbatov with the legend ‘Dave’ emblazoned between his shoulderblades) it was all a bit drab. And Fergie won’t give a fig.

Arsenal looked cool enough. Apart from a bit of va va voom from the pain-in-the-asp Cleo, it was pretty straightforward, and Fabianski jumped to the front of the permanently retreating queue of Arsenal keepers. Not being all that shit gets you the green jersey there at the mo.

Which brings us round to the team I like the most this season already. Spurs.
Now I know Harry talks a load of oars and rowlocks about Spurs not having thebus=dget of the big biys when they’ve spent more than anyone except Man City in the last 12 months, but you can’t deny that he’s slung together a team rich in entertainment.

Wednesday might’s line-up was the sort of death-defying;y positive line-up that should’ve seen his side take a good pragmatic new-kids-on-the-block pasting, Redknapp should’ve been sitting there with a face like smacked haddock (what’s new?) as he tried to explain what he was thinking by leaving his side so open.

But not a bit of it. They had spirit, enterprise and a well-friendly ref. Job done. They also have Rafael van der Vaart.

And this is his Mrs and I wouldn't kick her out of bed for van der Vaarting.

Up til Wednesday I reckoned on Rafael being one of these fancy dan Ajax scholars: you know what I mean... cultured left foot, smart passer, bit of a sulky twat when things don’t go his way.

Well you know what...? After Wednesday I think I was almost right. Except he wasn’t sulking so much as losing it like that other great free spirit of the Spurs midfield Paul Gascoigne. Half the time he was Johann Cruyff, and the other half he was Lee Cattermole. A great addition to the British game.

Of course the penalties were, in no particular order, stonewall, innocuous and bloody unfair. Bale was hacked down, Crouchy was as sinned against as sinning, and as for the handball... well what the hell does this ‘deliberate’ mean.

Surely you could have a more clear-cut law that said if it hits your hands it’s a pen. Cos if the refs are trying to prove intent in most cases they’re going to have bring a bloody psychiatrist’s couch onto the field of play and asked the offending player about the relationship he had with his mother. (And let’s face it, enough fans out there on the terraces have very clear ideas about the nature of an referee’s relationship to his mother).

It’s just another of them woolly laws that just muddle everyone up. Like the ‘active’ shite in the offside rule. Was he active? Yes say I! He’s a living breathing moving man and he was two yards in front of the last defender. Off-frigging-side. Simples, as that annoying Luka Modric-lookylikey meerkat says.

Luka Modric and father

Anyway... Spurs. However they wangled the result, they’re a delight. Bale is a rampaging Hulk compared to the Dr David Banner of a left-back that first arrived at WHL. Huddlestone looks as solid a bet as there is for the holding midfield role at international level. Modric is like a masterful little fella, they’ve always got that twat it up to Crouchy option but it’s never over-used, and ‘Arry’s got as good a bench as there is in the Premier League.

And what’s even more pleasing is that they can’t string together any good results in the league, and yet Redknapp still has them maintaining width, keeping the ball moving.

All of which might tend to make you think that the trusty old geezer is a shoo-in as next England manager. Me, I’d pick him.

Given his positive selection policy one might be wary of revisiting the Keegan years, when England were frequently as open as a particularly pretentious sandwich. But Harry’s got more nous than the Tyneside Messiah.

Chances are we’d have a few nights hiding from behind our bar-stools but it would not be dull, or one-paced, or witless. And Christ knows we like our noble failures in this country, If you’re going to go out, go out with not a holding midfielder in sight.

And let’s hope the Europeans clubs are swinging straight and true this morning. It's golf - but if the Americans lose, do we care?

479 comments:

  1. Good stuff Robbo, it'll all be different when Bolton are back in Europe and Vale are only three years away from San Siro!

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  2. One more thing that counts in favour of 'arry being considered a top choice for an English England manager (apart for having not won anything of note in their management career) is that sometimes, he talks absolute shite.

    Very important, that.

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  3. On the podium at least...now I'll raed the blog

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  4. Robbo, I was only thinking the same thing about vdV and Gazza. the only diff is vdV has a brain. when he was at HSV, he was the playmaker without equal, perhaps alittle injury prone, but also the occasional crazy moment resulting in red mist. the exit from Ajax was also colorful as he had a bigfall out with Koeman, and Ibramhovich, his teammamte, who clattered him in an international match

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  5. fuckin hell Port Vale name checked in the blog! on the map atlast.

    mickey adams i apologise for everything i ever said about your wildeyed apparently insane modus operandus, i forgot it was footballers you were dealing with not real people.

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  6. In central park in Stuttgart, there were ugly scenes when police tried to remove opponents of a project to rebuild and expand the central train stations.

    in a couple of minutes, they are going to remove the remnants.

    Interesting video , goes nicely with a cold one.

    http://fluegel.tv/

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  7. hard to read straight when youre as pissed as i am ill try again tomorrow

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  8. Team P GD PTS
    1 Port Vale 9 11 22
    2 Chesterfield 9 9 18
    3 Rotherham 9 7 18

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  9. Spit , great exit strategy from prev blog

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  10. Cheers Tone,

    I actually felt bad about abandoning the company and taking the business with me, but just for a brief moment.

    Then I remember he threatened me of consequences if I wouldnt reschedule the time off planne dfor November, that he himself approved back in February.

    Consequences. Yeah, about that.

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  11. Any truth in the news that VDV has turned up at David Milliband's house with a DVD and a box of chicken wings?

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  12. I'm not a F**king wheeler dealer I'm a football manager.

    Robbo, I think you're losing the plot (too much McBoro). I agree with Bale, but Huddlestone is still a fat, useless waste of a shirt... Its taken him a while, but he's Carrick re-incarnate.

    And I'll clear up handball for you (and all the morons/players/commentators)... I'm paraphrasing a little as its a few years since I read the rulebook, but its basically "if a player controls, or attempts to control, the ball using his arm". Now thats easy. Anyone who has played football past infant school knows when someone is attempting to control the ball with their arm, which means that Premierleague refs are buggered as to get on the PL list now you need to start on the refereeing ladder when you're a sperm (Stuart Atwell? I've got older cheese in my fridge)

    Still.... enjoyed the blog as always... Modric... Simples !

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  13. "Not being all that shit gets you the green jersey there at the mo."
    ---
    Aaah, the good ol' days when keepers didn't look like a screwed up testcard.

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  14. tone1947 said...
    Spit , great exit strategy from prev blog
    ------
    I just reload the page. ;p

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  15. I just re-read the blog and it's good stuff, but I think we're all missing something pretty important about this weeks European footy. An unavoidable question that must be asked......
























    How shit were Liverpool?

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  16. Holloway... I agree, bring back the green jersey, and goalie gloves with bits of table tennis bats glued to the fingers

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  17. Yeah, those sticky bits on the gloves were the business, did wonders for my pingpong forehand smash.

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  18. Morning lads. Always good to wake up, check the BBC for overnight footie results and see Liverpool struggle again.

    USAGeordie - I don't think Huddlestone is quite as bad as you make out. He's a great passer of the ball, he can tackle, he gets forward a lot and can hit the ball as hard as he can swing his elbow. He's not the finished article quite yet, but he's a future England regular.

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  19. Hudleston: he's no Viera, maybe he will be if he moves to a proper club.

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  20. He'd cost you about 12m Spit, and that money would be better spent on a goalkeeper methinks.

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  21. Noel,

    we have more than 12 mil in the bank..

    we just dont want to give it to anyone.

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  22. 12mill for Huddles-ton just proves how over rated (and in his case over weighted) English players are.

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  23. I know you guys have plenty of money. We're both lucky to support well run clubs. Levy has a history of getting what he wants for players when he sells them, and Huddlestone is very highly rated. By us at least.

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  24. Just checking out Lawro's scores from last week. He got one result right and no perfect scores. He's good isn't he? Unfortunately, that one right result was West Ham beating Spurs!

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  25. Jacks - thanks for that link. That's pretty much the same report as I read yesterday morning, but nothing appeared on the BBC for another 5 hours, then it took the angle of he has tested positive for a banned substance - no mention of quantity or when it was. Like it said in that report, it was over one day and a miniscule amount. I think if he was cheating, then it would have shown up in tests taken before and after, and it would have been an amount that would have given him some advantage. Like David Millar has said this morning - it's a shame that they've released this info before investigating further.

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  26. Port Vale at the San Siro.You read it here first.

    I'd like to see Robbo bank the cheque signed "Blogdignag".

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  27. Morning Noel,

    UCI press release....

    http://www.uci.ch/Modules/ENews/ENewsDetails.asp?id=NzA4MA&MenuId=MTI2Mjc

    I get the feeling reading this that they are leaving a little wriggle room to avoid banning Contador.The figures probably support his statement that his meat was contaminated(interesting conversation with his butcher over the next day or two)but you can't start altering the rules to suit.Banned for 2 years I'm afraid is the only option.

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  28. backpage News:

    Almunia, fearing he has lost his place in the arsenal team has thrown himself in front of a bus.

    relatives expressed relief that the keeper escaped injury as the bus went under him.

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  29. I've been enjoying the gratuitous pics of scantily clad women that have been an integral part of your recent blogs Robbo, but the pic of G Nev was out of order.

    Morning Jacks.

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  30. Morning Noel.

    Equally not impressed with the picture of GNev.

    Where was his ipod?

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  31. Again good stuff Robbo.

    Morning all.

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  32. G. Nev's iPod is not to be seen anymore since the last time he went to a starbucks and farted to match the bets of a PSB shit-track and the people around him beat the bejeezus out of him and embedded the said iPod up his jacksie where the sun dont shine and the sound get muffled.

    Just as god intended.

    Morning all.

    Laterz all.

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  33. Morning Spits

    Bye Spits.

    Hello SS11.

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  34. Just checked into FFL team. A'int got a clue what player to transfer!?!?!

    PLaying against Jay's L'pool like team. Will I be 3rd time in a row lucky gto nick a win???

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  35. Predictions for the weekends battles Jacks? Who have Ipswich got?

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  36. Bye Spits and keep an eye on your ex-Boss. He will soon be redundant.

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  37. Home to Leeds Noel.Need 3 points.It's tighter than a gnat's crotchet at the top of our league(bar QPR).

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  38. Wigan v Wolverhampton.........0-0
    Birmingham v Everton..........1-0
    Stoke v Blackburn.............2-1
    Sunderland v Man Utd..........0-1
    Tottenham v Aston Villa.......2-0
    West Brom v Bolton............2-1
    West Ham v Fulham.............1-1
    Man City v Newcastle..........1-0
    Liverpool v Blackpool.........0-0
    Chelsea v Arsenal.............2-0
    Ipswich v Leeds United........2-1
    Middlesbrough v Portsmouth....1-1
    Aldershot v Cheltenham........0-0
    Bury v Rotherham..............1-1
    Oxford Utd v Port Vale........0-2

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  39. We're home to the Villa. Also need 3 points, but fuck knows which team 'Arry will put out, the good one or the bad one. Either way, I predict my FFL team to continue to blaze a trail.

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  40. Haha. Liverpool do get a goalless draw at home to Blackpool. How sad is it for Liverpool that that is probably a good shout.

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  41. Poor old Woy.

    Still,after 2012 EC he should get the England gig.

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  42. Morning all.

    Congrats to spits for playing a very good game. Loving your work. There is no place for bullies (apart from newcastle....) and he will be stewing now.

    If i was vindictive, i could have caused my last firm a bunch of problems. I set up a switch for remote access so that if the firewall had any sort of problem that required a reboot, you could dial a number and press a couple of numbers on yer phone and turn the switch off and on.

    Turning it off would have affected their purchasing, all the blackberries, emails, remote users etc. It would be a morning of chaos and cost em a bunch of money. Nobody would have known what had happened, but even i was really pissed off with them, i would never do it.

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  43. In some ways I feel bad for him cos the club is in a shit state, and the squad Rafa left him was pretty shocking, but he's playing 3 defensive midfielders all the time. He plays with no width. Glen Johnson is a terrible defender, so play him in midfield.

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  44. Anyone see the shenanigans in Ecuador? The police protesting against the government....burning tires and firing tear gas at the president. Fair play to him though (brave or incredibly stupid depending on which way you look at it) basically telling them to come and have a go if you think you are hard enough.........think he had to go to hospital!

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  45. Noel, agreed. Play a proper right back, play johnson in midfield to give them width and play kuyt with torres.

    Joe Cole Left mid, Gerrard and a defensive midfielder and i reckon they would do better.

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  46. Morning Scholesy, yeah I saw something on t'interweb about it. Bloody South Americans.

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  47. It seems obvious to everyone else Scolsey - Gerrard with Miereles, Cole and Johnson, Kuyt and Torres. Bish, bash, bosh. Jobs a good 'un.

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  48. In fairness to Woy he has,as you say Noel,a poor squad.I think he's trying to make them difficult to break down and get some consistency.They have been over reliant on St Gernard and Torres for the last 3 seasons and neither of them have started the season well.I think he'll get them on track again,but not challenging for the league until the 2 owners clear off and leave them without such a massive debt issue.

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  49. "The president and his supporters said the police revolt over a new law cutting benefits for public servants amounted to an an attempted coup"

    Wonder if the same will happen over here....

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  50. Talking of south americans. What are the argies up to at the moment? How pissed off are they about the drilling for oil?

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  51. That statement is a bit crude Scholesey.

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  52. so the army are going to rescue the president from the police.

    Surely thats a gimme isnt it? In any country the army would take the police wouldnt they? i mean they have more toys...i mean tanks n stuff.

    Wonder if the police admin dept have to get involved. I suspect they might be a tad reluctant.

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  53. Ha ha jacks......right......time to get out the pun dictionary....

    i wonder if another war is in the pipeline....

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  54. BHB, what do you think? do you reckon your lot could take on the army?

    I suppose it is a regular occurrence in Aldershot..........awww RBA missing your work buddy.

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  55. Very pissed off. They've blocked all vessels going to and from the Falklands from going through their waters, which is illegal under a UN treaty which they have signed. This means that our weekly ship to Chile is delayed, so we no longer get fresh food from Chile. Their president is again claiming at the UN that we are their's, and always have been, but she refuses to take her claim to the International Court as presumably, she realises that she's talking shit. The Royal Navy ship that patrols the South Atlantic was recently refused entry to Uruguay to refuel as the Uruguayans are trying to get pally with the Argies. Every now and again the Argies block the weekly flight to Chile too. They've been doing this for years, but you don't hear about it in the UK. The Eurofighter jets there are scrambled a couple of times a week as the Argies test the defences, but again, you don't hear about that in the UK.

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  56. Can I bill Robbo for a cracked screen? Fucking Neville did it. Ah well, good to have a blog about Spurs, though part of the reason for why 'Arry set up the team to go for it was down to the fact we've managed to cripple most of our CB's already.

    Oh well so we now have 2 card happy midfielders.

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  57. Baggie Mike's predictions....

    4599. At 09:56am on 01 Oct 2010, BaggieMike wrote:

    Wigan v Wolverhampton........0-1 (and i hate myself for suggesting it)
    Birmingham v Everton.........1-1
    Stoke v Blackburn............1-0
    Sunderland v Man Utd.........1-1
    Tottenham v Aston Villa......2-1
    West Brom v Bolton...........2-1 :)
    West Ham v Fulham............1-1
    Man City v Newcastle.........2-1
    Liverpool v Blackpool........0-1
    Chelsea v Arsenal............2-1
    Ipswich v Leeds United.......1-1 (neutral)
    Middlesbrough v Portsmouth...2-1
    Aldershot v Cheltenham.......1-0
    Bury v Rotherham.............2-1
    Oxford Utd v Port Vale.......0-3

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  58. ScholesTheGingerPrince said...

    Ha ha jacks......right......time to get out the pun dictionary....

    i wonder if another war is in the pipeline....
    __________________________
    I guess the President called in the army so that he didn't get drilled by some machine gun happy civil servant.Could end up as a 4* war out there....

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  59. Wigan v Wolverhampton........1-1
    Birmingham v Everton.........2-1
    Stoke v Blackburn............1-1
    Sunderland v Man Utd.........1-1
    Tottenham v Aston Villa......2-2
    West Brom v Bolton...........2-2
    West Ham v Fulham............1-1
    Man City v Newcastle.........1-0
    Liverpool v Blackpool........2-1
    Chelsea v Arsenal............WTF, LOL, etc etc.

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  60. Sholesy - do it mate - just for a laugh like

    SPits - is the Stuttgart thing (is Germany really full of hippies with hairy arm-pits) - is that the scheme to put the Railway underground to release city centre land and connect direct to the airport - they were on about that 15 bloody yr ago!!!

    Blog - how's hang over?

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  61. Now then,a gentleman of mystique has entered the blog.

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  62. I dont do predos - in case I get them all right and hadnt put a bet on - I rarely bet :)

    But I did win 11 for £2 last week - gers, juve and villa wins!!!

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  63. Now then Jacks - that was funny wot ya posted y'day - coppers eh - need more crime to keep em busy!!!

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  64. SS11 - interesting predos - almost binary - excepot u did use "2" a few times

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  65. Now then FBH,tough on crime tough on the causes of crime.Sounds catchy enough to me.

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  66. This is for tone when he catches up later.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/football_focus/9049232.stm

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  67. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/m/man_city/9051136.stm

    £121m loss.

    Wages of £133m.

    Still,every time fuel goes up by a penny they earn an extra few million quid a second so I don't think they'll be on skid row just yet.

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  68. FBH, What could I do? The teams that are capable of scoring 6 per game are facing each other this weekend. :P :S

    Rest of the teams are setup such that they want to score only 1 goal and then they defend till the other team scores.

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  69. But to my own surprise I have said L'pool are going to finally end B'pools fairy tale run.

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  70. Criket! Australia scoring under 3 runs per over. Unbelievable; they are playing it like a proper test match.

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  71. ScholesTheGingerPrince said...
    so the army are going to rescue the president from the police.

    --------------

    as juvenal the delinquent would say - quis custodiet ipsos custodes, or in other words, gird your loins, we're in for a rough ride, dorothy.

    when the cuts hit home...any day now...., people are going to be so angry with the greedy lining their pockets as they get theirs picked that society will eat itsself, rioters will rule the streets, bankers will swing from every lampposts, even people who just LOOK like bankers, strung up and spinning heels clicking in the breeze as kids use them for target practice, flames will paint the evening red and anarchy shall write apocolypse across the sky.

    i'll be cheesed off if it all means port vale dont get promoted

    fbh - i demolished a six pack but not feeling too bad ta

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  72. simpsons answer to the question of who will watch the watchmen:

    Lisa :"If you're the police, who will police the police?"
    Homer :"I don't know. The Coast guard?"

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  73. contrary to my predo, liverpool looked easily second best to utrecht yday, not equal to them. woy has a thin squad but his best 11 are all fit, so not like he is suffering from a injury hit list. there is just no will to win. sad really.

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  74. Qui custodiet ipsos custodes?

    (sorry,do lots of crosswords.....especially when Ipswich lose)

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  75. or is that cross words when Ipswich lose?

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  76. What's the point of slogging your guts out and winning for a team that's owned by the pair of utter wankers your lot have AH?

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  77. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  78. 'Cross words when Ipswich lose' ... isn't that 11 across on the cryptic clues cross word Jack? Two words, 4 and 6 :P

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  79. Morning all. First timer here Robbo! Been reading your blog from my days in Mumbai to Bauchi, to Glasgow and now in Lagos! Wonderful (funny) blogger u are, my man!
    If spurs can put in good results in the premier league, i think the challenge for the top will be more interesting for all of us.

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  80. Welcome BlueXanza! Where from in Mumbai?

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  81. So Aussies end day 1 at 224/5. Good comeback from India in last 5-6 overs. The 2nd new ball did the trick.

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  82. Ohh my bad it was the old ball, it only reverse swung. I thought this trick was only limited to Pak bowlers.

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  83. 'Cross words when Ipswich lose'(5,6)

    K**ne's Fault

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  84. Thanks SS1. Khar(West) Mumbai

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  85. Good day guys.
    SS, I see you're holding the fort all alone. BlueXansa, who's "us". Yes youre Blue but is it the Mersey Blue, London, Brum or Manchester? Anyways, welcome mate.

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  86. And oh, on the Liverpool issue, me finks the ideal Liverpool midfield should be thus.
    Gerrard L.M, Gerrard A.M, Gerrard D.M, Gerrard R.M, but because the world is not ideal and Liverpool are shits, therefore in these conditions I'm looking at Cole J, Gerrard S, Merrrrriwhatever, and Johnson. Find a Defender and johnson to play R.M.

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  87. One for Noel when he gets back from the pub....

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/other_sports/cycling/9050995.stm

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  88. The Tribal, The champions!

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  89. Thanks Monk. Just too bored to work today. Friday has set in earlier than expected and will be going for dinner along with the team.

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  90. Hello all (bendy knee things Jacks)

    Hope not in trouble with you Jacks for my attempt at potterie cos it was a "BHB, ha ha" - without the (not nelson style) the other day.

    STGP - and other ManU supporters - well you may have thought it was Sir Alex shrewd substitution that won you the match on Wednesday, but NO again it was with help from the BHB household. This time my husband went outside for a smoke (rather than a fag) and lo and behold The Petit Pois came on and scored.

    We are certainly NOT lighting up during the match on Sunday (so put that in your pipe and smoke it Arsenal supporters)

    STGP - any news on kidney? and as for your concern as to how my lot would do against the army, I am - as we speak - trying to think of a strategy so will update you later.

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  91. Just read an All Time RBA Classic
    1) http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/05/pilosophers-woes-robbo-story.html

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  92. Star..no doubt the team's playing for a couple of gits who have no business running a footy team, but they are still getting paid shitloads and have the support of lot of us regular folk, so would expect some level of effort from them.

    agree with everyone saying johnson needs to move up and have someone else at RB. meireles/jova,gerrard,cole,johnson with kuyt/ngog & torres up front . maxi/babel/lucas/poulsen should never make the starting X1.

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  93. eloo,ello,ello BHB.

    Never in trouble with me BHB as it's not my dialect but it was funny,so if I could add a posthumous (not Nelson style) that should clear the decks.

    If you wouldn't mind staying off the cily rags on Sunday I'd be grateful (Drogba,Cashley and Malouda(c) are in my FFL)

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  94. Buenos noches amigos. They don't mention how long they've banned him for Jacks. Presumably with immediate effect until a trial passes sentance, or whatever.

    Of course, the next problem for Liverpool (switching subjects) is who will play at right back now that we've all decided that Glen is moving to midfield. Carra? Do they have anyone else who can play there?

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  95. Scholsey's kidney Breaking News.

    Since being surgically removed in what police are calling an in-house job,the kidney has broken free of it's shackles and was last seen,despite it's dyslexia,trying to graft itself onto the bending part of a baby goat's leg.

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  96. There's that Shakhtel or whatsis name him that one. He can play RB, can't he? or maybe even Carra

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  97. Afternoon all.

    Now then now then......

    Will good old Woy get the sack if Loserpoo don't win this weekend?

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  98. In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was to name 2
    things commonly found in cells. It appears that Scousers and Pikeys is not the
    correct answer!

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  99. I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod
    after realising that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.

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  100. Are you sure you work in the education sector Ngogo?(although not for long.cut cut)and not at a christmas cracker factory?

    ReplyDelete
  101. Hola.

    jacksofbuxton said...
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/m/man_city/9051136.stm
    ---
    I liked this bit;

    "World-renowned stars such as Carlos Tevez, James Milner, David Silva and Yaya Toure have joined the club on big weekly wages....."

    Spot the odd man out.

    ReplyDelete
  102. "one of these fancy dan Ajax scholars: you know what I mean"
    ehh wtf?

    "And let’s face it, enough fans out there on the terraces have very clear ideas about the nature of an referee’s relationship to his mother)."
    hehehe liked that one

    ReplyDelete
  103. Fountain of information mate. Well, when I say information, I mean pointless jokes......

    ReplyDelete
  104. A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her husband, I look horrible,
    I feel fat & ugly, pay me a compliment.' He replies, 'Your eyesight is
    perfect.'

    ReplyDelete
  105. Well, there is 3 jokes that you can copy and paste jacks......Maybe tomorrow, when they will be forgotten and classed as fresh material.........

    ReplyDelete
  106. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...

    Well, there is 3 jokes that you can copy and paste jacks......Maybe tomorrow, when they will be forgotten and classed as fresh material.........
    ______________________________________

    How dare you Ngogo.I do NOT copy and paste.

    I replicate and glue....

    ReplyDelete
  107. Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp may test Manchester City's resolve to hang on to striker Emmanuel Adebayor in the January transfer window.
    Full story: caughtoffside.com
    -----
    First Gallas and then Adebuymore, 'Arry doesn't believe in dressing room harmony or what?

    ReplyDelete
  108. Not bad me old mackem iou mucker - Im still a lover of ladies and fine wines and the good things in life - but not footy :)

    ReplyDelete
  109. I believe he's also interested in Pierre Van Hooijdonk as well H.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Jacks

    Thanks for the link re ST Pauli, will watch FF tomorrow, must say the opening notes of Hells Bells raises the hairs on the back of the neck. they play tonight in Hannover so the bars will be a bit crowded about 8pm on the Reeperbahn, I will be there

    ReplyDelete
  111. Hello tone,

    have you had chance to see much of St Pauli thus far this season?They look comfy enough in 10th at the moment.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Only on TV, still think they will struggle, but the atmos is something else
    A barowner friend of mine has season tickets in a exec box, sponsnored by Susies Strip Bar, says it all, he says I can go to one of the home games.
    Missed the derby last w/e as I was on hols

    ReplyDelete
  113. hey - robbo needs one more follower for 400??!!

    ReplyDelete
  114. And i need one more follower for 4!!!! Does it mean he's hung a 100 times more?

    ReplyDelete
  115. After returning from injury, Wolves midfielder Stephen Hunt is working so hard in training he does not know what day it is.
    Full story: The Sun

    -----

    What a silly hunt!?

    ReplyDelete
  116. Noel said....
    Of course, the next problem for Liverpool (switching subjects) is who will play at right back now that we've all decided that Glen is moving to midfield. Carra? Do they have anyone else who can play there?
    ---------------------------------------------

    Doesn't matter what we've decided Noel, Woy seems to make a point of ignoring all that he reads on Robbo's blog.
    To answer your question:
    1. Agger - he's equally bad everywhere so doesnt really matter
    2. Carra - poor sod..when there's no one else around, he always gets the job
    3. Poulsen - why not..if Carrick could play at the back last season....
    4. Kelly - youngster keen to prove himself should be ready to grab any opportunity with both hands

    In short..do anything, something, everything Woy..just dont leave it as it is coz its broke

    ReplyDelete
  117. Manchester United striker Javier Hernandez was involved in a stand-off with an angry farmer in a tractor at the club's training ground which nearly left him stuck in a ditch.
    Full story: Daily Mirror
    -----
    Were they training in a vegetable patch*?

    Is that why he has the name "little pea" on his shirt?



    *Would go a long way to exlplaining why GNev is still about.

    ReplyDelete
  118. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/9051737.stm

    Oh for fuck's sake ... how about getting a half decent team together and qualifying before worrying if we can win the next World Cup.

    ReplyDelete
  119. Holloway2Holland said...
    Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp may test Manchester City's resolve to hang on to striker Emmanuel Adebayor in the January transfer window.
    Full story: caughtoffside.com
    -----
    First Gallas and then Adebuymore, 'Arry doesn't believe in dressing room harmony or what?
    ____________________________________________
    I think the dressing room is dull for 'Arry at the mo.

    ReplyDelete
  120. That was indeed a total waste of space Star.

    ReplyDelete
  121. Ngog - how was your holiday? Good to have you back so I can pass off your jokes as my own to one of my stepsons!

    FBH - how's things with you and is Emily better now.

    Tone said 'must say the opening notes of Hells Bells raises the hairs on the back of the neck.'

    Trust me Tone - if I so much as opened my mouth to sing, you could beat Usian Bolt in 200metres to get away from me. (Actually I have no idea which Hells Bells you are referring to but if you use my name in vain)

    H2H isn't it about time you were downing a few beers by now on a Friday afternoon - just to be sociable like? And may the best team win on Sunday, or if not, let it be Chelsea

    ReplyDelete
  122. BHB
    Its the AC DC version, tho I'm sure you could run them a close second. As Jacks said St Pauli will be featured on FF tomorrow, hopefully they will play a bit of the music

    ReplyDelete
  123. Hi 'Bells.

    Fridays are running later and later every week, so in the interests of self preservation I get the missus to open up and I hide upstairs for a few hours, keeps the alcohol intake down and means I can still stand (reasonably) straight after 2am.

    I'm not looking forward to Sunday, long gone are the days that a trip to the Bridge (aka bus stop in Fulham) was a walk in the park.

    We're without Vermy and it doesn't look good for Cesc, but on the bright side, Almunia hasn't been able to train all week which means that the over confident, due to his midweek performance, Mr Flappyhandski will be the pole in between the sticks.

    Gulp.

    ReplyDelete
  124. for blogidy,when he catches up,sent you this weeks howl from WSC.Nice bit of Wikipedia vandalism in there you might appreciate.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Jacks, just watched the short clip. In fact more come from Celtic, because of the tie between the 2. As the guy said, it can be cheaper to come here flight, football, hotel etc than buy a Prem ticket

    ReplyDelete
  126. H2H

    So a few nudges from DD will send him back into the goalie queue????????

    ReplyDelete
  127. Tone.

    It could indeed knock him off pole position. (groan)

    ReplyDelete
  128. Tone, a few nudges from David Dickinson?

    ReplyDelete
  129. As in you've been tango'ed, cheep as chips, gets the bird

    ReplyDelete
  130. Is David Dickinson your dad Ngogo?

    ReplyDelete
  131. Hells,

    The holiday was great. It always goes to quickly though(a bit like the sex life of a few regulars - you know who you are).

    Here's another joke you can pass off as your own...no not you Jackston.........

    An elderly couple is attending Mass. About halfway through, the wife leans over
    and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I
    should do?' He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'

    ReplyDelete
  132. Actually Jackston, you are a closer age to my dad than Dickinson.........Hahahahahahahahahahahaha (Ngog style).

    ReplyDelete
  133. with a slight sense of deja vu

    Jackston?

    ReplyDelete
  134. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...

    Actually Jackston, you are a closer age to my dad than Dickinson.........
    _______________________________
    Ngogo,everyone is closer to that than Dickinson.

    Who fits your profile well.He's tanned and vain as well.

    ReplyDelete
  135. The differences are:

    1)Mine is a holiday tan, his is a perma - tan!

    2)He has no right to be vain.

    ReplyDelete
  136. Big fat hairy year.

    Hey hey,it's play time at nursery

    ReplyDelete
  137. Jackston, I thought you worked in a hair salon?

    ReplyDelete
  138. Ill try and spell Ryder correctly next time.

    ReplyDelete
  139. After you've had a rider cup will you go on the little choo choo train next?

    ReplyDelete
  140. I'd just like to get this off my chest regarding L'pool.

    Now before I start I'd just like to say that I am in no shape or form a supporter of Gilet and Hicks, but I do think it's unfair to point the finger solely at them for everything that is wrong with that club.

    I remember not so long ago on this very blog (the beeb version) almost all L'pool supporters backing Rafa to the hilt, claiming that he never really had money to spend, when the figures were there to prove that he did. They then argued that the figures were misleading as he first had to sell to buy (doesn't almost everyone?) and that he only was able to spend a net average of 30mill a season. (Yeah, I didn't understand why this was supposed to be peanuts either?)

    For example, last season he had a budget of around 40mill, he spent a little under half of this on a defender who thinks he's a winger and the rest on a guy who was injuried and is now on loan somewhere else. This is gross mismanagement. It's easy to hurl the hate at the yanky double act, but it's not them who decimated the squad and replaced it with average players, nor was it them who let the youth academy go into disaray. If I were a L'pool fan I'd be heading to Milan with a lit torch and a pitchfork.

    I welcome rebuttle, especially from our scouse bretheren, please explain to me what I can not see.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Busythanksforaskingyoutithowslifeintheeducationalsportingworldgate?

    ReplyDelete
  142. I think Liverpool fans like to bask in their own misery and point fingers at whose to blame. I can't really see how Gillette and Pricks have affected on pitch performance,transfer decisions or effort.

    'In Rafa we trust'. Stand aside Pool there's a new Pool in town. Holloway for ENGLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  143. Jacks, sorry have just spotted the link to my beloved (and it's not Gary Lineker) thank you for that!!!!

    Have a great weekend everyone and hope your team wins - with possible exception of any Man U, Man City (if they exist) and Arsenal fans

    ReplyDelete
  144. I don't like to do cross blogging,but....

    this is for Ngogo following in from the abusive nature of his postings in the Sanctuary.

    The cock sucker.

    ReplyDelete
  145. With regards to Ryder Cup. Any one see the story about the whole USA team having to go to the merchandising shop to buy water proofs cos there own snazzy USA ones weren't water proof?

    ReplyDelete
  146. Not code now eh jacks?

    Well, I'd just like to add a response to your post.




































    Fucking Cunt.

    ReplyDelete
  147. Two words spring to mind from the picture...

    Finger and pussy.

    ReplyDelete
  148. Before you start the "and" doesnt count.

    ReplyDelete
  149. http://news.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-11454176

    ReplyDelete
  150. M.R.

    That would be Holloway4England.

    ReplyDelete
  151. I cant remember how to do the old link shite, so the link is above.

    ReplyDelete
  152. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-11454176

    Try that H2H.

    ReplyDelete
  153. jacksofbuxton said...
    Scholsey's kidney Breaking News.

    Since being surgically removed in what police are calling an in-house job,the kidney has broken free of it's shackles and was last seen,despite it's dyslexia,trying to graft itself onto the bending part of a baby goat's leg.
    ______________________________________
    tis true.....i have given up on that one and instead had a transplant from a horse....and now i can say proudly that i piss like a racehorse.









    one with a tiny penis mind....

    ReplyDelete
  154. BLUEHELLSBELLS said...
    STGP - and other ManU supporters - well you may have thought it was Sir Alex shrewd substitution that won you the match on Wednesday, but NO again it was with help from the BHB household. This time my husband went outside for a smoke (rather than a fag) and lo and behold The Petit Pois came on and scored.

    STGP - any news on kidney? and as for your concern as to how my lot would do against the army, I am - as we speak - trying to think of a strategy so will update you later.
    ____________________________________________

    Hi BHB, say a big thank you to Mr BHB, much appreciated. A secret man utd fan? isnt everyone?

    Im sure it will involve the army "falling down the stairs" or summat

    ReplyDelete
  155. One for Noel when he gets back from the pub.

    Your post on the argies interrupting supplies etc made me think back to the war in 82, didnt they start it by doing exactly the same thing?

    It made me read up on it a bit and reading how it took 3 weeks for information to get back to blighty, that video took 20 mins a frame to upload and how the bbc (allegedly) broadcast plans of some of the missions, which resulted in the argies ambushing our soldiers and loads killed. I know the BBC try and be neutral on everything, but that is fucking disgraceful.

    ReplyDelete
  156. ScholesTheGingerPrince said...

    Hi BHB, say a big thank you to Mr BHB, much appreciated. A secret man utd fan? isnt everyone?
    ---

    No!!!

    ReplyDelete
  157. Holloway2Holland said...
    ScholesTheGingerPrince said...

    Hi BHB, say a big thank you to Mr BHB, much appreciated. A secret man utd fan? isnt everyone?
    ---

    No!!!
    ____

    Just checking...

    ReplyDelete
  158. FBH, their IT man is on a sailing holiday next week. The timing couldnt be better.

    I still couldnt do it....i dont thing they would see the funny side and BHB would arrest me for virtual vandalism.

    ReplyDelete
  159. H2..I think you are quite right and Rafa is as much to blame as the yanks...but we got rid of him so where's the point in slating him anymore...the yanks are not blameless either..having gotten rid of most of our shite this season, it was time to make a couple of decent buys, a non-geriatric left back and a couple strikers were the obvious ones..but since they fucked up the finances to the point of toxifying the RBS loans, and more or less driven their Kop Holdings LLC piece of shit into administration, there was nothing left..neither will they sell for a reasonable price.
    All that being said, Woy's tactics are bewildering as well..shows a lack of ambition and more or less the stuff of a mediocre, mid-table manager. He says he needs 3 to 6 months..well he's not living in the real world is he..if shit continues like this for another 3 to 6 months, he's not gonna be in this job is he.

    ReplyDelete
  160. Really am off now but just saw this headline on BBC site and thought that's a bit harsh ..

    The Paralympic Shooting World Cup is underway at Stoke Mandeville Stadium

    I mean surely it's fairer if they aim at able-bodied people ...

    ReplyDelete
  161. Your off Hells, how long for? What colour did you turn?

    ReplyDelete
  162. Any who, catch up with y'all on Monday. Good luck to all teams, bar Chelsea ofcourse (nothing personal Hells), Oh and not forgetting cheadle tractor boys. Good luck to Ipswich though, Keane keep up the good work, as it pisses Jackston off.......

    ReplyDelete
  163. BHB, i think the non-pc (no pun intended) view is that they dont move very fast, so are easier targets.

    ReplyDelete
  164. I'd still be hating him(Rafa), AH, even moreso since he fell into the Inter job, doesn't seem fair really, he leaves your club in an awful state and inherits the CL winners.

    Woy better buck up his ideas, the kind of tactics he deploys may have worked at Fulham, but I don't think he graspes the enormity of his task at Anfield, the fans expectations are 100 times greater then those at the Cottage.

    I watched the game last night with a few punters and they (and the TV pundits) couldn't believe that this was the once mighty L'pool. Even with the team they put out last night, Utrecht shoudn't have got anywhere near them, but L'pool were lucky to come away with a draw. I can't remember a L'pool tean playing so negatively, it was almost embarrasing.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Wigan v Wolverhampton........2-2
    Birmingham v Everton.........1-1
    Stoke v Blackburn............2-2
    Sunderland v Man Utd.........1-1
    Tottenham v Aston Villa......2-3
    West Brom v Bolton...........2-1
    West Ham v Fulham............1-1
    Man City v Newcastle.........1-1
    Liverpool v Blackpool........2-0
    Chelsea v Arsenal............1-3 (It worked for Baggie Mike last week, so what have I got to lose)

    ReplyDelete
  166. 'Ian Poulter's and Steve Stricker's balls are almost touching'. (five live). I have always suspected Poulter!

    ReplyDelete
  167. WHey hey its the monkeys!!!

    Emily is fine now BHB - she had a week off school so she was happy!!! Ta 4 asking

    Jacks and Ngog - Ngog to the back of the class

    Im off to a black tie do tonight - its a BME event (is it coz I is black) so am concerned that the "black" in "black tie" could be construed as rather harsh ney racist????

    Oi Boro!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  168. Cheers all for the thumbs up re my job "switch".

    Just back from having a beer with some of my ex-colleagues and I am sure, I will be leading pretty much the same team come January 2011 as i was in january '10 albeit under a different team flag.... *evil grin*

    Also, did I mention that I managed to land a 10% pay jump for my contributions in winning my new employer some business? Virtuale(c)(r) on me for all the regulars. Lurkers need to show themselves.

    ReplyDelete
  169. fbh,

    yes its the same bluddy project that was first proposed in 1994, back when Stuttgart was a sleepy but very rich village. It is now not so sleepy, very rich village.


    So after all these years, multiple elections at local, state and national level, countless lawsuits right up to the supreme court, some assholes have gotten into their heads that its not a bright idea and want to stop the project.

    Well I am livid at the delay-tactics of the deluded as this project will mean a huge improvement in infrastructure, investments upwards of 8-billion euros, 10,000 residential units right in the heart of city and increase in size of the central park.

    yesterday was the first time that the police had to use force as demonstrators stormed police and riot force vehicles and climbed up cranes and buldozers.

    the geri-police have absolutely no sense of humour in face of such actions.

    Just ask the Ingerland hooligans who had the pleasure of getting to know them back during WC2006.

    ReplyDelete
  170. How sad am i? Nowt else to do on a Friday night even though the missus is working night shift!!!

    So I pop in here! Yey!

    Howdy Spit, cheers mate.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Nowt wrong with being in on a weekend night.

    In my case, the couch is really comfy, love the music and beer is cold and dont cost much either.

    ReplyDelete
  172. Anyone think Millwall should be kicked out of the league forever?

    ReplyDelete
  173. True Spit. The beer is far cheaper at home.

    ReplyDelete
  174. Millwall:

    now there are some idiots fans of each and every club out there.

    In Millwalls' case, they seem to mainly attracts the clinically insane with normal, sane fans few and far between.

    ReplyDelete
  175. My old English teacher had eyes in the back of his head.




    He was from Norfolk.

    ReplyDelete
  176. so where did you go Ngog?



    I mean, what part of mexico?
    hope all went well

    ReplyDelete
  177. Moon Palace in Cancun (for my bro's wedding).

    Awesome mate, if you ever get the chance, go there, but avoid April to August and December as apparently it is absolutely packed, whereas in September it was 12% capacity. Which is perfect!

    ReplyDelete