Thursday, 16 September 2010

Arsene and the Artsenal

What's Alan Green call it on the BBC 5Live trail? The most prestigious club competition in the world? Yep. It's the Champions League!

Every season it's starts with this tedious round-robin League format and you see how quickly a feast of football can become an all-year twenty-seven course banquet that even your average Middle American would struggle to much his way through.

First up we had a bit of an Old Firm fracas. No danger of this turning into a fan-bashing contest in the streets of Manchester - just listen to young Ross Anderson - a plain-speaking but peaceable young man from Glasgow.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIVkfCIunLc&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Lovely. Sir Alex Ferguson a 'Gers man himself, saw fit to give his old buddy Walter Smith's players a treat by putting out on to the pitch a team more devoid of creativity than a herd of Friesians.
Ferguson may bring in this new midfielder

Prestigious competition, SAF? You could have put 11 John O'Sheas out there and got more for your money. Not that Smith's ambitions went further than the old parking the bus and holding out routine. (Although in Walter's case it was an Airbus 380.)

Rooney was crowded out by a centre-back trio that gathered round him like expectant hookers after a pay hike. The only incident of sickening note was when Kirk's Broad foot accidentally contributed to Valencia's horrible injury.

I doubt Fergie is too worried about the result. Chances are that Valencia (the team) and Bursaspor - which sounds less like a footy team and more like an airborne biological weapon - aren't going to cause a whole heap of trouble and they'll stumble through okay.

But then this is the whole bloody point. The Champs League, and it's obese little cousin the Europa League, are just means by which UEFA can suck dry the pockets of every football supporter across Europe.

At least Spurs-Werder Bremen was a decent contest and proved that 'Arry's got a good squad that might just be deep enough to handle an injury list. And if you are going to have a one-sided match then please, please, let the Arsenal be involved.

Loth as I am to join in the ejaculatory praise for Arsene's team, you have to say that last night's exhibition was a blinking joy. From the motion the ITV caption went up in the top left-hand corner to tell us that this was a match between ARS and BRA, I was thoroughly entertained.

Course the Bra in question wasn't the most secure and appear to fall open at the slightest flick of the foot. But this was the Wenger dream writ large.

Fabregas couldn't have been offered more space had been suffering from the world's worst case of body odour - and let's face it a football shirt is a great ingresient for encouraging such a foul whiff - and he pranced about the midfield like a merry Lord.

His accomplices were pretty damn good too. Chamakh looks the part up front - neat on the ground and works like a dog - although the barnet needs some attention. Why he's styling his hair after the fashion of a German World War 1 army helmet is beyond me. But a fit Bendtner's not going to get back into the team in a hurry.

Arshavin was at his shimmying best for the most part. Vela must be the happiest sub in the country, like a kid just waiting for the dessert to turn up before he tucks in.

And Wilshere looks great, doesn't he? There's a bit of the cocksure strutting bantam about the lad - and that backheel for the third? Well, my boozer was full of grown men cooing like schoolgirls round a kitten.

Add to that the fact that Alex Song has matured into a very fine player - and matured incredibly rapidly judging by the spooky blue rinse on his bonce - and Wenger has plucked out another good couple of centre-backs in Koscielny and Squillaci (Stepanovs and Luzhny seem like lumbering dinosaurs from another age now) and you can see why Arsene's feeling so chipper.

Of course there are the usual concerns when you start going overboard about Wenger.
At the end of the day, Wenger is an artiste. He wants the beautiful game. And nowt's happened this season to suggest that when the clunking clogging hoofbeats of the less refined members of the top leagues send their troops out to 'get in the faces' of the opposition, that that won't lead to a meltdown.

Fortunately they won't be up against the one-man wrecking-ball that is Lee Cattermole this weekend. But he's just the sort of aggressive little git that you still feel will put the Gunners off their stride.

The true test will come on October 3rd when they go to Stamford Bridge. Let's face it, the last few times Chelsea have played them, Arsenal have looked like a ten-year-old swinging his fists at a grown-up while said adult holds him off by the head, and the other men in blue yank down his shorts and tan his hide whenever they feel like it.

Still, unless you're a Spur, Wenger's team do qualify as every neutral's favourite watch. I remember them tonking Boro 6-1 in '99 and going on feeling strangely ok about it, as if I'd discovered the missus having an affair only to find that the man in question was George Clooney.

I mean if my lass can pull that sort of talent it kind of reflects well on meself. It's a private agreement we have as a matter of fact. If I came home to tell her I had a one-nighter with Penelope Cruz she tells me she'd completely understand.
I'm not sure she's being frank, so if you're out there Penny, pet, let's put that theory to the test, eh?

409 comments:

  1. First! (Not sure)

    Good blog Robbo!! First one on Arsenal, methinks.

    Absolutely true there about Oct 3rd match against Chelsea... I hope we can continue with the good rythm we are into as of now. It's post Dec that we start falling through... so will bring my concerns then...

    Go Gunners!!! Arsene Knows It!!!

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  2. YIPPEEE IM FOIST I,m FOIST I HAVE ARRIVED HAHAHA GLORY GLORY ALLELUHIA!!!! CHAMPERS ANYONE?? WOOO-HOOO!!!!!!!!!!




    GO POPE!

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  3. Hey blog, you just missed it mate.
    The blog was up for 16 minutes or so, and I too was a bit surprised to see I was the first to comment.

    That too after reading the entire blog, I posted my First!

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  4. Haha.. that ARS vs BRA dig was priceless Robbo!

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  5. Morning SS11, Blog, RBA and all

    Back in the UK till tomorrow, then flying off to Canary Wharf Island
    Must try to play the wild card today,just for you SS11

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  6. SS11 said...
    I hope we can continue with the good rhythm we are into as of now
    _______________________________________

    This Catholic thing is spreading everywhere now.

    I'm sure our resident sweaty will thoroughly enjoy this blog.

    Just as long as noone(BHB/plymouth)mentions Shawcross we'll be all right.

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  7. I have'nt seen the Shawcross tackle for a while now...

    Should we rollback to last year Ramsey incident?

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  8. Like the ref to the A380, but then I am biased, being based/working at Airbus in Hamburg. Saw an email yesterday, a sheik is having one of the double deckers done up, including a garage for his RR. Cant be long before Roman gets one, as he has now outstrpped the shakes on the private yachting front

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  9. Shawcross v cattermole, 10 rounder in the ring now

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  10. morning tone.

    I think 10 rounds might be a bit generous.

    10 seconds more like.

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  11. First!!!!!

    Blademaster

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  12. i watched the ARS-BRA match and Arsenal were good, but i can understand why people get a little sick of the constant purring over areseal... a team that for nearly 7 years has no trophies, but can pass well... i think the real reason that Arsenal are the Nations second favourite is that they aren't a real threat... its like the George Clooney anaolgy, if Old clooney didn't have a wnag...


    That said the joy if Cesc was class great to see Wilshire play, same for Sturridge at Chelsea...

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  13. tone,why is a sheik buying the Kingskerswell bypass?

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  14. Morning tone,
    Do all you can to ensure you lose by a respectable margin, coz I am going to hit hard this weekend.

    My midfield's got a new look powered by Cesc Fabregas & Rooney's been sacked for more consistent Droggie.

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  15. Not sure I have ever heard such casual and un fucking necessary use of bad language in my whole life as by the Gers lad.

    And Robbo - Arse used to tonk us at home quite regularly - usually in August - you know early doors - quickly burst any bubble of optimism that may have inflated itself so fucking daftly on Teesside - its the law :)

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  16. looks a waste of money to me, but then he must own the place

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  17. FBH/jacks, I was in the P&G last night, one of my boro mates just said he was disgusted, even after the win this week

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  18. SS11 - apparently your new Cesc powered midfield will be powerless this weekend as he's been injured in training. I hope it ain't true cos he's in my team too, but that's the rumour I heard.

    Jacks - Collingwood v Geelong about to kick off down here. Semi-final time.

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  19. there was a question in the music quiz last night, my brain knew it was PSB, but kept my pride by letting somebody else answer it first, then Mrs T screws it up by saying can I put them on the ipod

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  20. No one is impressed with wee gordy Tone!!! :)

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  21. morning all

    yeah well cant argue really, robbo, but theyre just a bit girly arent they?

    as for the real girly - LOOK AT THE UDDERS ON THAT!

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  22. Followingborohurts said...

    And Robbo - Arse used to tonk us at home quite regularly - usually in August -
    -----------
    I recollect when us went 3-1 down to the mighty Boro and young lad Reyes bought us back with his goal. We won 5-3. Great match. Historical as well it was as we equalled Nott Forest record of 42 unbeaten that day!

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  23. tone1947 said...

    FBH/jacks, I was in the P&G last night, one of my boro mates just said he was disgusted, even after the win this week
    _________________________________
    Don't know why tone.

    It's a lovely pub.

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  24. Jacks - Collingwood v Geelong about to kick off down here. Semi-final time.
    ____________________________
    Collingwood to win that one.

    Or as our Prime Minister referred to the winning captain of our T20 team Colin Wood.

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  25. "ejaculatory praise for Arsene's team" Haha, I love it

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  26. Noel,
    Nothing on the Arsenal Website regarding Fab's injury.

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  27. Jacks, Did you watch Pollard's batting last night? He went ballistic, 9 sixes, great timing and strength in those muscular arms of West Indian.

    And Mumbai Indians won something... FINALLY!!!

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  28. Nice juxtaposition Jacks :)

    And ss - I recall that game - at highbury - we got in front then Arse raised theri game and we cudnt stay in shape - It was also the day I split up with a hotty ex - well fit but mad - women eh????

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  29. That's good then SS11. He's just got back fit again so it'd be a pain in the arse if he was out of my ffl team.

    Jacks - I won't be watching it, but Collingwood are favourites to win the title, or the flag or whatever they call it. Got NRL play offs on instead. West Tigers v Canbera Raiders.

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  30. Ive given up on FFL - dont have the time - how come I dont know!! :)

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  31. cesc also produces some lovely flower arrangements

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  32. late night opening last night,so I missed the CLT20 SS11.72 off 30 balls ain't bad though.

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  33. me too, fbh. to be honest i never really understood why i was supposed to care how my team was doing.

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  34. Bendtner is well known for his love of Elizabethan madrigals.

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  35. mornign jacks me old mate hows staffy-cher looking this moonring

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  36. morning blogidy.

    It positively sparkles as you see the moorlands glistening in the morning sunshine.Birds are singing,sheep are gambolling(3 card brag) and the quaint smell of oatcakes and pikelets are in the air.

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  37. hes making a statement with those dafs, about the transcience of beauty or the pitfalls of eating a pie for breakfast. why lady gaga said to him once "i love your dafs, cesc, can i go on stage with them sticking out of my arse, it would make SUCH a beautiful statement. want a bite of my pie, fnarr fnarr?"

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  38. my mum lives near the sewage farm outside burslem, jacks so it always smells of shit when im up there. could be her neighbours though.

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  39. Arsene has a book out : "What Flower Arranging can teach the Champions League Manager."

    short but passionately written

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  40. Thank you Jacks

    Pikelet A British regional dialect word variously denoting a flatter variant on crumpet or muffin. In the West Midlands (and to some extent, the Yorkshire area) it is a term for crumpet,
    Mrs T didnt believe me, that what we call em at home

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  41. tone - pikelet -in stoke its sweet fat oatcake with currants in. luvverly.

    ie its not a little "traveller". (funny name for people who wont move off that bit of land you thought you owned.)

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  42. to be honest tone,Mrs Jack doesn't believe some of my comments either.

    Such as I wear the trousers.

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  43. Blog - you have a mum - posh sod - ive got a mam

    And its a pikelet!!!

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  44. i know pope benedict is a massive robbo robson fan so id like to get this message out to His Holiness

    sorry to quibble your godliness, but obviously we're not a third world nation because if we were we'd all believe in god wouldnt we?

    get your story straight, lad.

    ReplyDelete
  45. yeah, pope benderprick the XVI! you muversitch!

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  46. I may start up a Birthday Cards business - aimed at the Teesside market.

    "Happy Birthday Mam"

    "All these years you've pleased us.
    Here's 10 fags and Malteseres"

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  47. fbh youre right, stokies can indeed now at long last look down on boro's jordie piklets

    we're the city only second worst hit by the savage class-war of impending cuts, doncha know what what what????

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  48. Not sure that really worked?

    "To the World's Greatest Mam ... Now Then"

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  49. Need to go out and see one of Jacks competitors up here, and no its not Adam on the high st, but another raging Boro fan,
    c u soon

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  50. you wipe my tears
    and make me calmo
    heres 6 beers
    and a greasy parmo

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  51. Bit more love and emotion in the 2nd one eh?

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  52. Hey Tone 0 U aint gunna see claire near The Pav r ya? Nice

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  53. see ya, tone. ask for a polish on top. and i dont men a east european hooker.

    not unless jacks is actually buxtons only gigolo and this "im a barber" is just a cover operation. "any extras sir?"

    ReplyDelete
  54. Anyone remember a shop called Geordie Jeans (or the piss take Reeves & Mortimer did) - I miss the 1980s :)

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  55. What I actually do is throw lots of things up in the air,continuing my Italian heritage.

    I'm a juggle-o

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  56. are geordie jeans the ones "popular" girls wore, with the velcro gusset?

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  57. Laters lads - even tho they wont give me dole I still hve to sign on for a stamp or sumat???? Fascists!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  58. how do you kill a circus?


    go for the juggler

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  59. I was once asked for "something for the weekend"

    I sold him 2 tickets to Alton Towers.

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  60. Pikelets, Oatcakes, Mam, Palmos, unemployment...

    You northerners are a reet old ruddy mad lot...


    Uphoy the lads!

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  61. RBA,the "north" begins at Dronfield.

    Unless you work for the national media,in which case the north starts at Luton.

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  62. Jacks - from last weeks NRL play offs. This game is being called the best of all time - went to 3 extra time periods. This hit weren't bad either.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-naar5dHus

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  63. good god Noel,has Waerea-Hargreaves woken up yet?

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  64. Haha. Made me choke on my beer when it happened. I like the fact that he was the one who went in aggressive and came out wondering what his name was.

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  65. I think he came out of it with his head poking out of his arse.

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  66. Tigers lost that game by a golden point but they won tonight against the Raiders and so are through to the semi against the Dragons.

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  67. And in the other semi final it's the gerbils v the hamsters.

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  68. Haha. Yeah the names are pretty shite.

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  69. FBH
    heres one for you, the rumours are rife, the ginger midget is a twat. join up and save boro

    http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/group.php?gid=146896388679958&v=info&ref=search

    ReplyDelete
  70. Baggie Mike's are first,then mine.

    Stoke v West Ham 1-0..........2-0
    Aston Villa v Bolton 3-1.......1-1
    Blackburn v Fulham 0-0.........1-0
    Everton v Newcastle 3-0........2-1
    Tottenham v Wolverhampton 4-0..0-1
    West Brom v Birmingham 2-1.....1-1
    Sunderland v Arsenal 0-3.......0-1
    Man Utd v Liverpool 2-2........0-0
    Wigan v Man City 1-2...........0-2
    Chelsea v Blackpool 6-0........4-0

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  71. Erm... hello.

    So.... well.... how's everyone?

    Anyway! Thought I'd give a little comment here after a short break.

    Imagine my surprise to see Robbo writing virtually the same blog as McCunty did a day or so ago. Well obviously Robbo's has humour (YES humoUr you stupid fucking American auto-correct) whereas McCunty has, well it has um... spelling.

    Anyway the point - ROBBO, didn't you write the same stuff last year about the CL group stages being rubbish, boring, pope-ish, etc etc etc?

    And then what happened - well have a wee look back and see all the big teams that went out, one Real Madrid (as opposed to fake Madrid) being the biggest faller.

    Oh how the memories fade quickly.

    Speaking of fading quickly I can't wait till Christmas. When Arsenal will be as usual out of everything but somehow Arsene will have convinced everyone of his greatness. Again. I fucking hate Arsenal. (Sorry to the decent Arsenal fans. Both of you)

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  72. Mornin' Lads,

    Good stuff Robbo. I think I'm sick of Arsenal along with every other team that stuffs us two or three times a year.

    If that cow's in the squad, somebody should get Gibson a banjo and he can start practising.

    FBH, after all she did for us, how about "Thanks for the Mammaries"

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  73. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  74. Arnold moon lads,

    Jacks i live in an area of Aldershot called "north town"... and we get called northerners... Dronfield may as wel be in space its so northern..

    Ay up Gaz... long time no typing. Glad to see you have mellowed on your break haha... hope all is well...

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  75. Noel said...
    Tigers lost that game by a golden point but they won tonight against the Raiders and so are through to the semi against the Dragons.
    _____________________________________

    And that Theo Pathetis has got skills...

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  76. Yeah RBA I thought about being all friendly and shit and saying loads of nice things.

    But then Arsenal and McCunty came into my mind and that was the end of that.

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  77. I'd be more worried about a back pass from Deborah Meaden

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  78. As long as you've still got both your ears tone.

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  79. unless you are listening to PSB, in which case it is better to have no ears... and a syanide capsule...

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  80. No one listens to PSB.

    PSB listens to you.

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  81. My Predictions for teh weekends big games

    Stoke v West Ham 2-1
    Aston Villa v Bolton 2-2
    Blackburn v Fulham 0-0
    Everton v Newcastle 1-0
    Tottenham v Wolverhampton 1-1
    West Brom v Birmingham 0-3
    Sunderland v Arsenal 0-4
    Man Utd v Liverpool 2-3
    Wigan v Man City 0-1
    Chelsea v Blackpool 5-0
    Aldershot v Wycombe 3-1
    Macclesfield v Port Vale 1-3
    Barnet v Rotherham 0-2
    McBoro v Reading 2-1

    ReplyDelete
  82. My Predictions for teh weekends big games


    Man Utd V Liverpool 7-0

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  83. i cant wait for mcnultys new blog hee hee hee

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  84. Lawro's predictions for the weekend, i think he may be on to a winner..

    Arsenal v Liverpool 0-2
    Aston villa v Liverpool 0-2
    Chelsea v Liverpool 0-2
    Man United v Liverpool 0-2
    Man City v Liverpool 0-2
    Totenham v Liverpool 0-2
    Blackburn v Liverpool 0-2
    Everton v Liverpool 0-2
    West Brom v Liverpool 0-2
    Sunderland v Liverpool 0-2
    Wigan v Liverpool 0-2
    West Ham v Liverpool 0-2
    Birmingham v Liverpool 0-2
    Wolves v Liverpool 0-2
    Newcastle v Liverpool 0-2
    Fulham v Liverpool 0-2
    Bolton v Liverpool 0-2
    Blackpool v Liverpool 0-2
    Stoke v Liverpool 0-2
    LIverpool v Liverpool 2-2

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  85. glamour fixture against the macc lads -

    macc 0 - 100000000000000000000000 vale

    no sheep till buxton

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  86. JACKS!!! IPSWICH!!!???

    Sorry mate... DOH!!!

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  87. Ipswich v Liverpool 0-2


    thats better...

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  88. Stoke v West Ham 0-5
    Aston Villa v Bolton 0-2
    Blackburn v Fulham dont care
    Everton v Newcastle dont give a toss
    Tottenham v Wolverhampton as above
    West Brom v Birmingham wheres me bovril
    Sunderland v Arsenal 1-1
    Man Utd v Liverpool 3-4
    Wigan v Man City snore
    Chelsea v Blackpool 0-1
    Aldershot v Wycombe 3-0
    Macclesfield v Port Vale 0- 100000000000000000
    Barnet v Rotherham 0-1
    McBoro v Reading 1-1
    Ipswich v Millwall 2-0 (but 0-8 if youre counting match balls stolen by toothless south london pikeys)

    ReplyDelete
  89. Here's the proper predictions:

    Stoke v West Ham 2-0
    Aston Villa v Bolton 1-2 (with apologies to Trotts)
    Blackburn v Fulham 1-0
    Everton v Newcastle 2-1
    Tottenham v Wolverhampton 1-1
    West Brom v Birmingham 1-2
    Sunderland v Arsenal 1-3
    Man Utd v Liverpool 2-1
    Wigan v Man City 0-2
    Chelsea v Blackpool 3-0

    ReplyDelete
  90. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/eng_prem/8986321.stm

    it is cheaper to see kraut league than it is to watch Aldershot... (aldershot is £17/e20.4)

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  91. so here goes before I depart for sunny climes Sat

    Stoke v West Ham 0-0
    Aston Villa v Bolton 2-2.
    Blackburn v Fulham 1-2
    Everton v Newcastle 4-1
    Tottenham v Wolverhampton 3-1
    West Brom v Birmingham 0-2
    Sunderland v Arsenal 1-4
    Man Utd v Liverpool 1-2
    Wigan v Man City 0-3
    Chelsea v Blackpool 5-0

    and not forgetting

    Aldershot v Wycombe 2-0
    Macclesfield v Port Vale 0-1
    Barnet v Rotherham 1-3
    McBoro v Reading 2-1
    Ipswich v Millwall 1-0

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  92. Robbo man???

    And the proper teams in the real football leagues?

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  93. Gaz - yep, wrote about the frigging yawn that is CL about this time last year. Guess what... 12 months on it's still meaningless at this stage, save for robbing football supporters of any entertainment by playing your third string. The only saving grace is that it's not the Europa League - the enormity of which can only truly be measured in light years.

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  94. I don't mind beating Milwall 2-0,but could we get the Cardiff game out of the way first?

    Ta.

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  95. Npower Championship
    Barnsley v Derby, 15:00
    Bristol City v Coventry, 15:00
    Crystal Palace v Burnley, 15:00
    Ipswich v Cardiff, 15:00
    Leicester v QPR, 15:00
    Middlesbrough v Reading, 15:00
    Millwall v Watford, 15:00
    Preston v Norwich, 15:00
    Sheff Utd v Portsmouth, 15:00
    Swansea v Scunthorpe, 15:00
    Hull v Nott'm Forest, 17:20

    ReplyDelete
  96. RBA

    I make it a point never to predict Championship results on the basis that my track record is pants and I can never predict a Boro defeat even though every fibre of my being knows we're going down. And then sure enough the Robbo curse strikes and we're beat 1-0 by Shitport Rovers.

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  97. Still after that loss to liverpool its good to see you bouncing back Jacks...

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  98. blogdignag said...

    glamour fixture against the macc lads -

    macc 0 - 100000000000000000000000 vale

    no sheep till buxton
    __________________________________
    Flash is the place to look for them blogidy.

    ReplyDelete
  99. RBA, re bundesliga

    This was in yesterdays Indie. see the stats at the bottom

    http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/in-germany-every-game-has-the-feel-of-a-cup-final-says-mcclaren-2080305.html

    Ive said before what is even more surprising is that all 1st and 2nd div games are televised

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  100. Fair dues then boss... and to be fair Shitport are playing well this year.

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  101. in germany every game has the feel of a cup final says mcclaren
    __________________________

    Well that explains his poor start to the season.........

    ____________________________

    I do remember you mentioning it before, but the fact these guys are boycotting a match of 2 of the best teams in europe as they are having to pay less than i pay to watch teh Shots take on Wycombe... BONKERS! We have it SO wrong...

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  102. Robbo
    I heard this morn at the barbers(not Jacks) there is unrest in the camp, including the sweaty imports about the wee ginger midget, it was posted somewhere on FB, that he is a twat. its since removed because of the closeness of the poster to the club!!!!!!!!!!

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  103. Good stuff Robbo, although I disagree that the group stages of the CL are boring, I saw quite a few decent games this week. Ars v Bra, WB v Spuds, Twente v Inter, IOU v .... nah, that one was shit, but at the same time totally hilarious that utd struggled to break down a team from one of the worst leagues in Europe.

    I liked the you tube vid, had to play it a few times to understand what the hell he was saying though. Don't they speak English up there?

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  104. And I am missing the big HH derby St Pauli v HSV, not sure if it will be fun or riots

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  105. H2H
    as you say 3 out of 4, even BM were boring agst Ranieri's Roma

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  106. I agree with Jacks, chelsea looked good as well... and its all good to say fans get ripped off having to watch third string teams but it was good to see a few young english lads get games (and goals) in a big competition... that foetus McEachran for example... 17 and CL aint bad...

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  107. H2H said...

    "totally hilarious that utd struggled to break down a team from one of the worst leagues in Europe."

    _____________


    This is a complete fucking joke H2H. Where do you get off. Fucking disgraceful.










    The Scottish league is BY FAR the worst in Europe.

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  108. i say jacks i meant H2... (snh5... Jacks, dnh5)

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  109. Ipswich v Cardiff, 15:00

    ----

    well said, jack - come on you lot get your facts right and check your sources! jeez. millwall indeed.

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  110. i see the pope has called david beckham a wanker

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  111. No Bloggggy. The pope asked Becks to give him a wank.

    ReplyDelete
  112. gaz - he's at st marys in twickenham today a couple of my mates went there and i visited a few times. as far as i could see there was no studying going on, just drinking. bloody students. but to be fair only went into the bar on friday saturday nights.

    the papers say even monks and nuns are being frisked on the way in. but the pope has insisted on personally frisking any schoolkids.

    ReplyDelete
  113. He doesnt want to frisk all teh School kids... thats a bit far fetched... the ugly ones are given to Cardinals to frisk.

    ReplyDelete
  114. cardinal jerkovski was misquoted. he said britain is GOING to be like a third world country. after the comprehensive spending review.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Manchester United's new £7.4m signing Bebe made an unimpressive debut for the club's reserve side as they lost 4-1 to Aston Villa in Altrincham on Thursday.
    Full story: Daily Mail
    ---
    Not looking so good, eh Adam?

    ReplyDelete
  116. The Tees Mouth said...
    Here's the proper predictions:

    Stoke v West Ham 2-0
    Aston Villa v Bolton 1-2 (with apologies to Trotts)
    -------------
    This is ridiculous. We've got half the team suspended for slappin' a brummy or ticklin' a gooner, half of our supporters are up on prostitution charges, the Pope is filling in at centre back and I have 3 Villa lads in my FFSL team. We'd have a better chance if Houllier was already there.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Feeling confident for the weekend then, Trott?

    ReplyDelete
  118. TrotterUSA said...

    This is ridiculous. We've got half the team suspended for slappin' a brummy or ticklin' a gooner, half of our supporters are up on prostitution charges, the Pope is filling in at centre back and I have 3 Villa lads in my FFSL team. We'd have a better chance if Houllier was already there.

    ________________________________________
    So if your players are slappers and ticklers,then the Pope should feel right at home.

    ReplyDelete
  119. H, that's one way of putting it. And hopefully your gang of thugs won't struggle like City did at Sunderland. Funny old game.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Stoke v West Ham 3-0
    Aston Villa v Bolton 1-1
    Blackburn v Fulham 1-1
    Everton v Newcastle 2-1
    Tottenham v Wolverhampton 2-0
    West Brom v Birmingham 1-1
    Sunderland v Arsenal 1-3
    Man Utd v Liverpool 2-0
    Wigan v Man City 0-1
    Chelsea v Blackpool 5-0

    ReplyDelete
  121. I knew there was somebody here brilliant enough to spot that. He'd be happier in the youth team Jacks but when yer backs are up against the wall.....

    ReplyDelete
  122. TrotterUSA said...
    H, that's one way of putting it. And hopefully your gang of thugs won't struggle like City did at Sunderland. Funny old game.
    ------------
    We generally struggle during 17:30 kick-offs. Hope we can get through this one.

    ReplyDelete
  123. We lost last year at Sunderland, was a bad performance. We're on a good run at the moment and we're still on the right side of Christmas. We should be alright......... maybe?!

    ReplyDelete
  124. Stoke v West Ham 2-1
    Aston Villa v Bolton 1-1
    Blackburn v Fulham 1-1
    Everton v Newcastle 2-1
    Tottenham v Wolverhampton 2-0
    West Brom v Birmingham 1-2
    Sunderland v Arsenal 1-3
    Man Utd v Liverpool 3-1
    Wigan v Man City 1-1
    Chelsea v Blackpool 4-0

    ReplyDelete
  125. Ohh forgot to add Drogba hat-trick and Fabregas with 2 assists.

    ReplyDelete
  126. I am going to stick my neck out!

    United will wallop the Scouse on Sunday.

    Seriously.

    4 or 5


    Now watch the jinx unfold!

    ReplyDelete
  127. GazUtd said...
    I am going to stick my neck out!

    United will wallop the Scouse on Sunday.

    Seriously.

    4 or 5



    I think Rooney is enough trouble as it is with Colleen after his threesome - I don't think another 4 or 5, especially S&M, will help his marital status much

    Evening all - welcome back Gaz and hows Mrs GAz and the bump?

    ReplyDelete
  128. You could have done with the previous Pope when Jasske...Jaisca...jasa....your first choice keeper was suspended.

    ReplyDelete
  129. SS11.

    Please tell me you didn't put Fabregas in your ffl team.

    Most of the players you've drafted in this season have ended up injured, suspended or dead. ;p

    ReplyDelete
  130. Thanks BHB, the wife is good and the bump is getting bigger by the day.

    She can't start complaining about carrying it around though. I carry a full size on around all the time!!

    ReplyDelete
  131. jacksofbuxton said...
    You could have done with the previous Pope when Jasske...Jaisca...jasa....your first choice keeper was suspended.
    =---------------------------------
    Yes Jacks, he never missed a cross.

    ReplyDelete
  132. Ha ha Trotts, but would that make our Flappyhandski a vampire?
    He seems scared shitless of them.

    ReplyDelete
  133. Ah well, everyone on here has liverpool losing. thats a good sign i guess.

    ReplyDelete
  134. yeah H, that could be it, that and Wenger's garlic breath.

    ReplyDelete
  135. TrotterUSA said...

    jacksofbuxton said...
    You could have done with the previous Pope when Jasske...Jaisca...jasa....your first choice keeper was suspended.
    =---------------------------------
    Yes Jacks, he never missed a cross.
    _____________________________
    Whereas the current Pope is more of an attacking midfielder.

    He's dynamite in the hole.

    ReplyDelete
  136. AnfieldHopeful said...

    Ah well, everyone on here has liverpool losing. thats a good sign i guess.
    __________________________________
    0-0 draw I've gone for AH.

    But then I'm rubbish at this prediction malarky.

    ReplyDelete
  137. Jacks, Lawro predicted a 0-0 too and he's a professional*.



    *translated = paid to be rubbish

    ReplyDelete
  138. AH, if it's any consolation, I don't think Liverpool will lose. I just hope they do (I have a financial interest in the outcome).

    ReplyDelete
  139. H2H, I did. He's my best bet to bail me out of bottomest position in the league.

    I had him whole of last season.

    ReplyDelete
  140. L'pool usually raise their game for this fixture, it's just that IOU have been uncharacteristically bad the last few games, which I believe will make SAF turn up the hairdryer to anihilate. The mancs will have to perform or suffer the full wrath of the beetroot nosed, gum chewing mcterminator.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Any attempt by Liverpool's co-owner Tom Hicks to gain sole control of the club will have no support from the majority of Liverpool's board but could succeed, BBC Sport understands

    -----------------------------------------
    Oh fuck...fuck fuck fuck..no please no..fuck!!!

    ReplyDelete
  142. SS11, you're supposed to use your special cursing powers for the good of Arsenal, not to the detriment.

    ReplyDelete
  143. "Oh fuck...fuck fuck fuck..no please no..fuck!!!"


    ___________


    Ahhh, that brings me back to my teenage years.

    ReplyDelete
  144. AnfieldHopeful said...
    Ah well, everyone on here has liverpool losing. thats a good sign i guess.
    ----------
    Unless Torres has some other plans (like he finds his sublime form and puts one back of the net from acutest angles) Also, hope ref keeps a check on Vidic's fouls on Torres. He was lucky to escape last time I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  145. Looks like the plan to get new owners are suffering from a slight Hicksup, AH.

    ReplyDelete
  146. Its ok AH i will address the balance

    Man Utd 0 Liverpool 2

    I am a jinx when it comes to predicting our scores.

    I also predicted:-

    Labour would win the election
    Wazza wouldnt stray from his missus again
    I would have a job for life
    George Michael wouldnt drive again

    I also have the following:-

    Man City to become the biggest club in the world.
    &
    Dundee Utd to become the biggest club in dundee.

    ReplyDelete
  147. I predict that tonight BHB will wash something down with a nice Chianti.

    ReplyDelete
  148. H2H, I know that. My well wishes are stronger than curses. So dont ya worry, Cesc will be all fine.

    ReplyDelete
  149. Welcome back Gaz!

    Glad yer missus & little gaz are doing well. Is it due at the end of the year????

    ReplyDelete
  150. jacksofbuxton said...
    I predict that tonight BHB will wash something down with a nice Chianti.

    -------------------------------
    /feeling a little faint

    ReplyDelete
  151. Robbo said:-

    and Wenger has plucked out another good couple of centre-backs in Koscielny and Squillaci (Stepanovs and Luzhny seem like lumbering dinosaurs from another age now) and you can see why Arsene's feeling so chipper.
    _____________________________

    will wait to see them tested first Robbo. Like you say the true test is when the chavs play em in a few weeks time. Think they are the best test of every other team in the prem.....god i hated saying that....

    ReplyDelete
  152. Whatever you do Scholesy,don't faint.

    She'll be in like Flynn.

    ReplyDelete
  153. me too scholesy just looked at my bank balance. debt. groan. i blame the pope. he owes me a £5

    ReplyDelete
  154. Aaaah Robbo, not you as well.

    This Wenger lovefest is making me feel really queasy. The guy is despised by nearly all the managers in the EPL. Every day it seems another EPL manager comes out and condemns the slimey toad for his pathetic double standards.

    Jeez, by comparison, he makes Nicholas Sarkhozy look like fecking Mary Poppins.

    As an aside. Congrats to Mark Cavendish for being a sprinting king. It's fucking hard. Even the sprinters have to ride the 100 odd km's and still be there in the end.

    FREE GEORGE MICHAEL. FREE THE WHAM 1.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Could of been worse blogs, he could of owed you a tenor. German opera's last 3 days.

    ReplyDelete
  156. You aint kidding Jacks, last time i try virtually romancing a copper....(had some disturbing "gags" to throw in there but have thought better of it. My decency filter kicked in thank fuck.

    ReplyDelete
  157. bloggy, has he not paid that back. What a cnut!

    So the outcake idea isnt a good one? We could be millionaires (in zim$)

    ReplyDelete
  158. oatcake.......what the fuck is an outcake?

    ReplyDelete
  159. Give me Tottenham any day. Harry Redknapp is a true character(even his dodgy dealing shenanigans can be put aside). I hope the Spurs shaft ARSEne Wenger's Buttnal in the CC. C'mon the Spurs of old Londinium town.

    ReplyDelete
  160. Yeah Arab, I'm sure Wenger will put out his strongest team in the CC, if Spurs "shaft" us they'll be done for child abuse.

    You may not like him, and I can understand why, sometimes he whinges to much. But he almost single handedly changed the way players are trained and nurtchered in the english game. If you want the Spuds and 'Arry the envelope you can 'ave 'em.

    ReplyDelete
  161. I expect george michael is producing them right now H....

    ReplyDelete
  162. Spurs fans. I'm now a Spud. Apologies, I know you don't need an ARSEene opponent to join your ranks but tough. I've enrolled. I actually admire Daniel Levy and Sir Harold of Redkappery. C'mon the Mashed Tatties.

    Buuuut, please don't rename your ground The Easyjet Stadium.

    ReplyDelete
  163. Portsmouth & Southampton fans seem to have a problem with 'arry and his transfer dealings.

    I think that some people will always think he is dodgy no matter what he achieves.

    I didnt like the way he stormed off when called a wheeler dealer, when, if asked, most football fans would label him as just that.

    ReplyDelete
  164. au cuntraire, scholesy oatcake shop in london is a fucking brilliant idea. giz a £5 and the franchise is yours.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Arab...dont desert your good men of dens park.....

    ReplyDelete
  166. jeez bloggy, it must be a winner. The price has jumped tenfold!

    Wish i knew someone with a bit of money. Anybody know 'arry?

    ReplyDelete
  167. Hey H2H

    Serious question. Do you think ARSEne will put out his strongest team for CC clash against the Spuds? After 5 years without a trophy and against their greatest rivals will ARSEne succumb to pressure and play his strongest 11?

    ReplyDelete
  168. An arab supporting the Spuds.

    Priceless.

    ReplyDelete
  169. soccerphile dundee - even the vale have a phones4u stand, vryone knows their phones are shit so they dont actually getanything back for the tens of punds they have pumped into the club

    ReplyDelete
  170. Helsinki Arab said...
    Hey H2H

    Serious question. Do you think ARSEne will put out his strongest team for CC clash against the Spuds? After 5 years without a trophy and against their greatest rivals will ARSEne succumb to pressure and play his strongest 11?
    ------
    No.

    ReplyDelete
  171. oh and bloggy...im going to use that au cuntraire elsewhere if you dont mind. It made be chuckle.

    I quite like using the word cuntish.

    ReplyDelete
  172. ARSEne

    ha ha - i see what youve done there!

    hah haaha haahaa aah ha

    ReplyDelete
  173. Helsinki Arab said...
    Spurs fans. I'm now a Spud.
    -----
    Next you will say you are Chav, then Sheikh, then something else... You are fake, get real and support your Dundee Village.

    ReplyDelete
  174. Ffs STGP, Dundee Utd play at Tannadice. Dundee play at Dens Park. Ye plucking ignoramus. Haha, no offence intended mate. I actually think Scholesy is a fecking world class passer of the ball. He is a major, major talent.

    ReplyDelete
  175. Spurs haven't been our greatest rivals for years, their win against us at WHL last season was the first in over a decade (in the PL)

    ReplyDelete
  176. BOLLOCKene FUCKner


    nah mate i give up.

    ReplyDelete
  177. Arab...ive been trying to hook you on that one for the past couple of days. heh heh heh

    ReplyDelete
  178. SS11

    I'm an Arab. Then a Spud. Arab Spuds for Tesco. 20p a pound. Ideal sustenance for the upcoming suicide bomber. Plenty of carbohydrates and Uranium 235. No extra charge.

    H2H, I like like succint, straight to the gravy answers. Haha.

    ReplyDelete
  179. H - i dont care what anyone else says youve got a great manager in old bollockene fuckner

    ReplyDelete
  180. Blogdignag.

    I used to think you were the most witty, intelligent, sharpest poster on Robbo blog. Your standards are being eroded by unfunny, erudite tosh.

    Buuut, I love your input. Hahahahahaha.

    FREE THE WHAM 1!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  181. bollockene fuckner is the shit, much better then arsehole wanker.

    ReplyDelete
  182. Sam Allerdyce

    Ahead of his team's clash with Fulham, the 55-year-old said: "I would be more suited to Inter Milan or Real Madrid.

    Bernard Wilkins, 63, Scunthorpe:

    "I have a plan to invade Russia and establish myself as Czar. My army shall live off the land and a big suply of werthers originals. Just need to find my bus pass and the plan shall click into operation. Damn where are me specs?"

    ReplyDelete