Monday, 12 July 2010

Just Iniesta The Nick Of Time

Lineker said it. He really said it. You were waiting and then when it came it was like a bit of regurgitated ice-cream at the back of the throat. It was a 'victory for football'.

Well, I'll go so far as to say it was a victory for Spain and they played better football than Holland. That's about it.
It was a bloody abysmal final, right up there with 1994. And there are three reasons for this.

Reason 1. The Dutch. Every time I've switched on a radio this last week I've heard some git banging on about Total Football. It's allowed nostalgics to get misty-eyed and talk about players of the past in plurals - your Cruyffs, your Reps, your Neeskenseses (?).

Clearly that was then. Van Marwijck has set about that legacy like a Tory chancellor going at a budget deficit. And he left us with Van Bommel and De Jong, which is presumably Dutch for shock and awe.

I know you can't let a side like Spain just pass the ball about like a crack team of 17th century firefighters with a bucket, but neither can you seek to disrupt their flow by scything them down like so much Iberian barley or stamping on their hearts.

I noticed de Jong crossed himself like a Christian as he was subbed off. It was the first Christian thing he bloody well managed. Maybe he was worried about tracking back with Jesus (Navas). Meanwhile van Bommel stomped around like a cyberman with bad hair, bleating away at the ref every time he deigned to give a decision against the Oranjes.

Upfront they had a single threat. Robben bob-bob-bobbed along in the usual way, all high-stepping pace and left foot and tumbling like a stilton in a cheese-rolling contest. What is about the selfish, hawk-eyed, whingeing, uni-pegged slaphead that I don't like, I wonder?

I was delighted that it was Arjen who failed to take the best chance of the match.

Reason 2 was of course Howard Webb. I don't entirely blame the bloke. You can imagine the dictats winging their way from FIFA HQ. They'll be marking you Howie, so do your best to earn the Sepp ticks. And if you doubt the doggedness of FIFA in trying to get what it wants then just ask the Mandela family. Sepp, he's ninety fucking two and he spent twenty-seven years in jail. He'd probably like to watch it on the telly at his house, you unsympathetic twot.

[NB Note for England players: The jail in question was called Robben Island. I realise you probably thought it was a theme park based on the antics of a mazy left-winger from the Low Countries, but a little research might have told you summat about where you were playing the tournament, you ignorant nerks.]

No doubt there's a prerogative to keep all the players on the pitch (unless the opposition starting XI has been deleted by a Dutch holding midfielder). But clearly Webb should have fronted up and removed De Jong from proceedings. I've not seen Jackie Chan play football but I know now what it would look like.

The constant stream of bookings - I swear by the end of the game he was walking around like a tour guide with the yellow card permanently in the air - didn't inhibit the Dutch. It was almost like the responsibilty for kicking the opposition just got shifted on to someone else.

To be honest, there wasn't much else Webb could've done. Vamn Marwijck can moan all he likes about Puyol staying on the pitch (deliciously because Robben stayed on his fett. HA!)Frankly, Iniesta was taken out more times and by more people than your average school bike, and I was pleading for Howard to just stop the game, pick up the ball and roll it past Stekelenburg.

So it was 1-0. For all their mastery of a football - even one as goddamn floaty and crap as the Jubblibubbli - Spain never took enough of their chances to be truly celebrated.

There again, this is FIFA at its worst (reason number three). As an organisation it seems desperate to make things difficult for itself. The ball was as difficult to keep down as a teenage erection, but also the stadiums were left vacant when vast quantities of poor black people would've given their eye teeth to watch a game.

Furthermore, having employed technical genius to come up with a ball you wouldn't buy for a quid from the corner shop, they failed to engage similar technology to actually make the game better.

God knows England didn't deserve anything less than an utter drubbing from Germany but the ease with which the Lampard shot could've been confirmed as a goal just beggars belief. After all, Zidane got dismissed in last year's final cos of the intervention of some 'extra' officials who'd been watching the telly like the rest of us.

FIFA have to introduce technology now or the game will go down the pan. All this slo-mo HD stuff just reveals the true extent of skulduggery at play, and at the very least, as I've said so many times I want to punch myself in the face, you can used video footage to ban the serial divers for 5 games minimum.

So this wasn't a competition to savour. And the Dutch nearly brought it to the ugliest conclusion.

I've mustered a team of the tournament?

Eduardo (Portugal);
Maicon (Brazil), Lucio (Brazil), Puyol (Spain), Capdevila (Spain);
Xavi (Spain), Arevalo (Uruguay), Iniesta (Spain);
Mueller (Germany), Forlan (Uruguay), Villa (Spain).

Of course Sneijder, Ozil and Schweinsteiger should be in there too but I liked the Uruguayan clogger.

Above all, though I will remember this World Cup as a line in the sand. Not only do we hold on to the notion that Spain are the best team in the world cos they look nice when they play footy, it's cos they do things that English footballers - Rooney included this time around - are completely unable to do.

They're what the relentlessly alliterative Hansen would call touch and tecnhnique. I call it brilliance and bollocks. The Germans have power, pace and penetration. We have disdain, disgrace and disinterest.

In with the new. As soon as is humanly possible.

525 comments:

  1. At first I didn't agree with the vampire analysis of the previous blog, but i think there's been more blood in this game than in pulp fiction. Good blog mate

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  2. woooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooo Third:)

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. It's actually 2nd for you DG3. You can count me once instead

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  5. hello Robbo.

    nice lil read there.

    i have my own take on events but they mainly concern the crap comming out of hansons, shearers,dixons,lawrensons gob throughout the whole game.

    i think its quite odd that they are banging on about the supposed Pass you to Death spanish side and its a joy to watch blah bah blha yet how odd these very same idiots have done nothing but critisise Arsenal in the PL for doing the same! so what spain won the wc, for all thier pass and move they hardly put the ball in the net.

    The anti Dutch comments were getting on my nerves more than them bloody horns! and as for the success of this tournament come the end of the day there are fancy stadiums yes but there are still kids kicking balls about without shoes and ghettos.

    ive not enjoyed this WC at all and the TV coverage has been utterly pathetic from both sides.

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  6. no footy on for a while. im bored right now. really bored.

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  7. Damn, where's the 'Complain' button? I want to go bitch about how the first comment is completely irrelevant to the blog :P

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  8. I'd just posted this on the last blog, without realising ther was a new one up, so here it is again;

    Well the WC ended with a real toilet filler of a game. Two teams cancelling each other out, De Jong trying to take someone out (should of been red) and a ref who was determined to be the most important factor on the field. IMO he completly destroyed that game.

    Oranje were admitedly not very good, although Robben had two good chances to score, and Spain were not that much better, I had the feeling that Webb gave them a lot more leeway then he did NL, with all the sneaky fouling that the Spainish did (Dutch were no angels) I was suprised that in the first half only Sarah Jessica Puyol and Red Hot Chile Ramos got cards.

    The futher the game went on, the worse it got, I thought it would go to penalties, that would of least gave us a bit of excitement, but it wasn't to be. Congratulations to Spain, they can now call themselves the Worlds top footballing nation.

    Funnily enough I'd baced Spain to win (before the tournament started) so I won a pretty penny on a few bets....Still felt like losing though.

    So, time to take down the flags and all the orange bunting etc, no more painted faces and somehow the world seems a darker place. The sunny weather has come to an abrupt end and storm clouds fill the sky. (it's still hot as hell though).

    Goodbye WC, I for one will miss you, a bit like an old lover who looked real good but had a nasty personality and was shit in bed, we had our moments but in hind sight it wasn't really worth the bother.

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  9. And the second post, and the third post, all the way to the fifteenth post.

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  10. why we had to be reminded of apartide etc during every single break i dont know! i was not watching to get another bloody history lesson on the failings of mankind in general.

    anyways back to the footy.

    yes the dutch were perhaps fortunate to have had one sent off early on, and i am speaking of the kungfu canttona style free kick. as for the other fouls.........

    note; every time a spanish player was either dispossesed or kncked of the ball they were screaming at webb to flash the cards! and the reason? the tipy tappy toe footy was being snuffed out, ok sometimes cynicly but wtf it happens to Arsenal in the PL every week WE DONT SEEM TO MIND IT THEN??? Do we??? NO we feckin dont. we call them babies etc and afraid to get physical! blah blah blah the hypocrisy in english football is astounding!

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  11. As I alluded to earlier, it's not all Webb's fault the game got rather out of hand ... the poor bloke expected to ref a football match, not the human demolition derby we saw last night.

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  12. Ah well, good riddance to the 2010 WC ... it was shit, we were shit and the best team in the tournament finished third.

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  13. And to think that him David Webb refs in the EPL he shouldn't have let the Spanish manipulate his game by crowding him.

    And you just have to admire that van Bombshell had balls to talk up to Webb whenever a Dutch player was cautioned.

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  14. Well put man, good work as ever sir... dreadful WC wasn't it though... was thier 1 GREAT game? I am not so sure...

    Well you know what they say, play with a shit ball your gonna get the horns...

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  15. and my final comment:

    I am glad to see the back of this WC.

    as for Howard Webb, who did he show the 1st yellow to? yes you guessed it RVP, you know that guy who plays for Arsenal i imagine Webb will be busy with his cards in the PL thise season. and by the way, what is the tax payer doing paying his Policemans wages? whilst he takes time out to do reffereing? Clegg? and Compo, i think you need to look into this afterall, if hes fit enough to charge about on a football pitch for well over 90 mins hes fit enough to resume his duties as a member of her majestys filth.

    roll on Brazil! they know how to stage a tournament, hopefully england wont be there and the MOTD crew will also be put out to grass.

    wankers the lot of them.

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  16. So then, Brazil are three hours behind us, which means an 8 oclock kick off in brazil is eleven o'clock in the UK...


    And some people said 24 hour licensing was a bad thing... Sounds like foresight to me!

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  17. i have never looked in to this, but do our premier legue refs have to work other jobs to subsidise thier wages as referees, for the richest league in teh world???

    If that is true, then we may have the answer as to why our refs are so fooking shite...

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  18. "deliciously because Robben stayed on his fett"

    ____________________


    Robbo is this a typo or have you been hiding your Star Wars geekiness from us all this time?



    Everything you say in your blog is correct. The WC was shit (which is quite apt).

    The RTE guys ended with a montage of the 'best' goals. Which was about 6 or something and they were all average (with the exception of that Brazilian's -180 swerve).

    The last one they showed was Lampard's. Which was funny and apt at the same time. Funnapt, if you will.

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  19. I think the refs are full time now in PL.

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  20. RBA the refs were made professional a few years ago.

    Didn't you notice the marked increase in performance?

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  21. well thats good to hear Ngog...

    so are why are we paying him to be a policeman then?

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  22. the pictures of that guy getting punched away from the trophy were good though...


    good thing rob green weren't looking after it...

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  23. While no one is here so they wont know it was me....


    http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/07/positive.html


    Hahaha, the perfect crime...

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  24. Marked increase in perfomance? BLAGH!!! Bring on goal line and video tech, we need that very badly noe.

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  25. the sooner we play the entire tournament in hi-def virtual reality the sooner our tubby kids have a chance of winning the thing!!!

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  26. RBA, I think DG3 is getting confused as Webb USED to be a copper, but has now reached an all time low (as a profession) becoming a full-time ref.

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  27. nooo Ngog he still is one they mentioned it last night he's been given time out for a few months i understand.

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  28. And has anyone noticed that FIFA2010 has a super long throw by Rory Delap. We can use that to win every game

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  29. ohh sorry i did not see the post properly lol :)

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  30. infact the more fifa incorporate the real game with the computer based the better for england and our morbidly obesce chubb-o-saurs... The more you progress in a game you get the to do more "special" moves (and not the "special" type the current rich wasters display) i mean like mario all stars tyoe special, and to improve discipline, rather than a red card, have mortal kombat style "finish hims"...

    and if rob green fucks it all up again we can press reset...

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  31. DG3, I stand corrected.

    Oh well, so much for full-time refs then......

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  32. Webb used to be a sergeant no less.

    And he has a black belt in summat or other.

    Which makes the fact he missed that karate kick last night even more suspect.

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  33. If the Playstation football becomes more life like then no one better pick St. Steven.

    Put the wrong music on and he'll come outta your tv and batter you.


    Plus picking JT is just a recipe for disaster. You're all engrossed playing ze Germans wondering where your centre back has gone while there are strange noises coming from your wife in the bedroom.

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  34. i played fifa2010 on the nintendo wii, and its incredibly realistic, after being an england footballer for 10 minutes i had incredibly sore wrists...

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  35. RBA, can we have the special gory kill mode that allows the Finish Him's to be the fatal ones that usually involved the battle scenery ... i.e the fights in the deep freeze involved impaling your oppo on the dangling hooks and so on?


    Be even better because if Green fucks up Dempsey will impale him on one of his goal posts hehehe.

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  36. GazUtd said...
    And he has a black belt in summat or other.

    Which makes the fact he missed that karate kick last night even more suspect.
    ============================================
    Nah, he saw it and thought it was just normal for kung fu

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  37. Gazza for England manager?

    He can keep the players occupied with fishing rods and stuff.

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  38. RBA, I think that's the best way I've ever seen the England team being called a bunch of wankers, I wouldn't wii on them if their joysticks were on fire.

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  39. Well H, trhats the grand thing about the england team, there are just so many ways to call them wankers...


    oh and thanks for the words of kindness and mirth on me newest bloggggggg. I wouldn't have said it was the funniest thing on the internet, but neither did you...


    http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/07/positive.html

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  40. This world cup football wise has been absolutely dreadful altough Sepp Bladder has got the result that he desperately wanted

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  41. The world cup hasn't all been bad news... i got some new darts on saturday and they are great!!!

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  42. I think the best match of the world cup was.....?

    Anyone know the finish to that sentence?

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  43. the Spanish have offered nothing throughout the tournament. they had one decent game against Germany. yet they are crowned World Champions. The perennial underachievers have eventually succeeded but based on the tournament performance they do not deserve the accolades. In a way, by winning while playing below their standards they failed again.
    I've read on bbc web that Iniesta was a man of integrity. He may well be but when he's on the pitch his integrity is clearly in the locker under a sweaty pants. He was floored many times, no question about that, but many times he dived, as did his colleges, and performed his theatrics like a primma ballerina on the first night of the show. And they all should have been carded for demanding cards for every tackle.
    The Webb is a walking disgrace and epitomizes the current state of the EPL: overpayed ignorant prick that does not know what he's doing.
    It should have been Germans vs Holland and the Germans should've been the champions. They were the only team that deserved it by virtue of attacking display, quality of players, commitment and scintillating football.

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  44. Yeah but Spain schooled the crouts, who were also lucky to beat Ghana in the last group match, and they didn't beat us, we lost to them theres a difference, good game against the argies though... i don't think any one team has been prolific in the whole tournament, i think they all need to get back and do it again with a proper football...

    Come on england! (thats in my most ironic font)

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  45. i agree about the Germans by far and away the best team of the whole tournament. i was rooting for the dutch against spain as i am quite sick baout spain and CF's links with them etc after a while it just pisses me off.

    as for the diving spaniards? yes defo agree there.

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  46. So, what we have learned....


    England fans have admitted England are shit
    England fans wanted ze Germans to win
    Robbo got predictions correct




    WTF!!!

    AAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGHHHHHH.

    EVERYONE RUN!!

    THE HORSEMEN ARE COMING

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  47. Apparantly the world cup football is so round it has broken science...

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  48. I was surprised when fifa picked the ball they went for the "Adidas Zamora"

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  49. I didn't think it was that bad, gave me an excuse to sit in front of the telly for over a mounth, sipping beer and watching footy, admitedly not the best of footy, but if that's the major problem then Hull and Blackburn may as well cease to exsist.
    It was never going to be able to live up to the expectations now was it, especially in the UK were every twat who had ever shit between two shoes, was telling you how great the England team was and how they were going to go all the way.
    Maybe the UK just needs to go back to basics, stop trying to hype up games v Germany with references to a war that was over a good 65 years ago, it just makes us look silly ffs. Lower our expectations and then everything will seem better (thanx RBA for teaching me about being positive) International football is afterall just a game.



    Domestic football!!! Now that's something completly different.

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  50. and evertime they were off the ball they were looking at web to issue the yellow cards! RVP 1st challenge was NOTHING! I think he was in fact wise to this but the spaniards played thier part in making it a crap final by pleading for any dutch player that got near them to be booked!

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  51. you know gaz after every tourny england fans say that england are shit... its just we were so bad this time were saying it to johnny foreigners like you aswell...

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  52. note: they could not beat the dutch with 11 men for all thier tappy toe football. it needed a sending off before they could score. and once they scored they were no longer looking at Webb to send the whole dutch team off.

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  53. i think webb should have done his damn job!




    And harrased an innicent black person walking home.

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  54. http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/07/positive.html

    how to be happppppy!

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  55. He wasn't allowed to do that RBA as he was in South Africa.

    Apparently there's been changes there. If only they came to England eh?

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  56. Good afternoon,
    I came on here today with the intention of offering some hopefully reasonable comments on a competition which has not been the best ever.
    Sadly all too many of the comments so far are appalling, ill-considered, inappropriate, insulting and unforgivably not even remotely funny or humorous.
    I'm beginning to understand why Bo walked away.
    Goodbye.

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  57. Hey Robbo, your last blog was prophetic.

    Some highlights from the match:-

    1) Xabi Alonso chested the kick from De Jong and controlled his pain nicely.
    2) Puyol was smart enough to pull Robben's shirt in such a way that his hair-do obstructed Webb's view
    3) Iniesta did a Ronaldo!
    4) Cesc Fabregas didnt score with his left foot from 25 yards out coz the opposition was not Spurs.
    5) Webb didnt see the free-kick deflected off the Spanish wall; because he was busy asking fourth official another diary to maintain bookings for the rest of the game.
    6) Liverpool have 2 WC winners and Man United/Chelsea have none!

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  58. Btw, Sunday happened to be Webb'ers day!

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  59. SS11 said...

    6) Liverpool have 2 WC winners and Man United/Chelsea have none

    ____________________


    Well they have one who didn't play in the WC at all.

    And they have another one. For a few more weeks.

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  60. Gaz what have you done now?


    Now its safe to say the "not even remotely funny or humoerous" comments are aimed at me, but i really can't see what or whose comments are "appalling" "ill-considered" or "inapropriate"... What level of debate to some people suddenly expect from this blog? Have a good read over the beeb blog and tell me waht is different now, it is always been a place that goes off on a tangent and explores the ridiculous more than the sensible, it is a comedy football blog for petes sake... Is the world really such a scary place outside the protection and watchful eye of the beeb and thier cuddly cencorship????

    Am i missing something???

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  61. Anonymous said...
    .....I've read on bbc web that Iniesta was a man of integrity.....
    -----
    I had to go check it out to see if it was true.
    I'll be the first to admit that Iniesta is a great player and he doesn't hog or seek the spotlight like many of his peers, but I don't see how failing down when hardly touched, feigning injury and hounding the ref waving imaginary yellow cards can be construed as "having integrity".

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  62. Don't forget the BBC is also the place that says John Terry is a man of integrity.

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  63. Maybe wé need to get some mods (or rockers)on this blog, might sort out some of the rude boys on here, we don't want to emotionaly ska any readers or give anyone the blues. Maybe it's time to jazz up the content.

    Well I suppose there's some truth to what was said, that wasn't funny at all.

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  64. I would just like to say that i think that the actual blog itself, you know what robbo writes, is much better since leaving the beeb it flows better and is more honest and above all it is a hell of a lot funnier... I also think that the comments now are funnier than ever before, i think the freedom this site offers which enables us to make jokes and express opinions about people more honestly is HUGE step forward.

    This blog remains a place to read a interesting and funny article, and then comment freely about football and anything else that comes up... DO people really dislike the ugly truths that come with freedom of speech so much???

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  65. My take on the WC is available as are my thoughts on the World Cup. If you want to read about footie rather than toilets then click here

    http://adampsb.blogspot.com/2010/07/patience-of-saint.html

    If the reverse then you are very disturbed and shoudl get out more (or star in a Kei$ha video as they always involve a bathroom somehow

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  66. Comedic duo Roon' and Hesk' aka the Two y's, (y didn't he turn up and y did he turn up) new catch phrase;

    "Am I missing something?"

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  67. Just seen the video of the Spanish arriving back in Madrid. They still had the same clothes on. Smelly fecks.


    And why didn't England get Bernard Cribbins to manage them instead of letting him go to Spain and win the WC?

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  68. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  69. RedBlueArmy92 said...

    Am i missing something???
    --------------

    The ability to spell long words correctly and JDR :)

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  70. Antidisestablishmentarianism.




    HA! I deride your accusations Adam.

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  71. hey i spell short words just incorrectly as the long wuns!

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  72. I agree RBA man, the blogs much better without the shackles. I don't agree with everything that many posters write, but where's the fun in constantly agreeing with each other, I always thought the point of a blog was to promote discussion/disagreements.
    It was sad to see Bo go, but he choose to leave, as others may do to, shame, but hey that's just how it is. I've seen some stuff on here that I thought crossed the line a bit, but nothing really bad on this particular offering.

    If something really does insult you then let it be known why, after all, not everyone share the same values and standards, but I'm (almost) sure no one comes on here to intentionally hurt someones feelings.

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  73. Bernard Cribbens?? I thought that Rene from 'Allo 'Allo was the Spain manager?

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  74. Exactly Hman, i don't agree with alot of people an i wonder, and other people bore the tits off of me, then theres some people who are just really annoying and then there are the guys that just go onand on and never really make a point, some people on here are massively ignorant and go on about footy despite knowing nothing about it, then there are tehese wannabe comediens and my god the grammar used, shocking.... Actually,

    Bo, Jacks, Preach... Wait for me!!!

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  75. Damn you H2H. He is definitely more Rene!

    You win this one. But I will return. Unlike some people, apparently.

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  76. We have a whole new season coming up.. and if each one starts cribbing about insults, inappropriate comments then we might just ruin the purpose of this place itself...

    Look upto the future ie PL season 2010-11 and stay happy! (courtesy RBA blog)

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  77. those creationist types are all a tad to sensitive

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  78. Paul Fletcher's blog has really kicked off today but there is no sign of any comedy. When is Danny Baker's starting? (not that that will introduce any comedy either - his 5Live show has actually had quite a serious and featurey tone)

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  79. we come from apes so deal with it:)

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  80. Danny Baker and comedy. Now there's a ridiculous coupling. He ruined TFI Friday the twat!

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  81. I DO NOT come anywhere near an ape.

    Although if anyone does there are some websites I could recommend.

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  82. Guys why have Bo and Preach left?

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  83. I left too, went back to the safety of the beeb.

    Re read JS's Iniesta blog, got as far as;

    "hauled down by John Heitinga"

    That's just a biased lie, JH tapped him on his shoulder and Iniesta went down like he'd been taken out by a sniper.

    I then checked out PF's blog and that was even worse.
    Why are the beeb so brown nosing it with Spain?
    I'll admit the Dutch didn't play a pretty game, but what else are you supposed to do against Spain? Just give in like Germany did? If Stoke or Blackburn try to stiffle Utd or Arsenal then they've "shown heart", yet the Dutch are made out to be the founders of anti-football.
    The hypocritcy is mind boggling.

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  84. DavidGilmourThe3rd said...
    those creationist types are all a tad to sensitive
    -------------

    No we're not you heretical philistine.

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  85. I was going to post on here to add to the debate in a mature and reasoned way that Del Bosque atually looks more like Willy Thorne, but i can see previous comments that are ill-thought and unfunny and borderline racist... i can see why everyone is leaving and i will join them...

    good day sir!

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  86. :) there you go theres another one :) straight out with some jibe about being a philistine, take it away adam i am all eyes for your conversion into that utter nonsence which is religeon. how about neatherdal? thats a bit closer to the mark i think:)

    99% of dna said thier chimps prefer it.

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  87. GazUtd said...
    Damn you H2H. He is definitely more Rene!

    You win this one. But I will return. Unlike some people, apparently.
    ----
    Ha ha, after yesterdays defeat, I'll grab that one with both hands. (oo-er)

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  88. H2 how did business go then?

    You do know of course that you could put adverts up now telling the Dutch that the best way to forget is to drink!! :)

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  89. SS11 said...

    RBA's only kidding... He said he's in some kinda good mood today

    _____________________________


    Has it been 6 weeks already?

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  90. ohhh nooo i must not get fixated on this creationist clap trap vs the scientific evidence.

    as for the argument about the gap in the Fossil records i give you wayne rooney amoung others.

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  91. Gaz, Suprisingly it wasn't that busy for the final, due to the weather many stayed at home, having barbeques etc. There were also a lot of street party's planned and loads went to A'dam.
    It wasn't too bad, but after the final whistle many head home. Ah well we'll all start again tomorrow once the hangovers have cleared up.

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  92. i like your thinking gaz... but when the midwifes say six weeks, don't believe them, i mean you dont wait a full hour after eating to go swimming, you think 15 minutes and i feel ok, so you dive in!, haha...

    And i'm always in a good mood... read why exclusively in today Aldershot Woes.

    http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/07/positive.html

    ReplyDelete
  93. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_famous_people_from_Aldershot


    RBA why aren't you on this list?

    Or are you number 3 in disguise?

    ReplyDelete
  94. Heather Mills is from Aldershot!!!!????


    That explains a lot!!


    (By the way I have no idea who that Irish revolutionary listed is)

    ReplyDelete
  95. haha, nope, though me mate Wadey is second to bottom on the list... get in thier! I dont beleive all that though, Martin Freeman? Never seen his big officey face down the goose???

    ReplyDelete
  96. her da were a para so she was just born here... we might be responsible for some shit in the world, but thats no fair pinning that on us!

    ReplyDelete
  97. SS11, thanks for reading me blog mate... but leave a message on there, not for my sake but it always grates adam when i get more posts than he does... haha...

    (oh and read ads and leave one there 2 haha...)

    ReplyDelete
  98. Goodbye WC, I for one will miss you, a bit like an old lover who looked real good but had a nasty personality and was shit in bed, we had our moments but in hind sight it wasn't really worth the bother.

    H - I wont miss the world cup but nice post/analogy on previous blog

    Now to read this one!!

    ReplyDelete
  99. I am off soon, but before i go...

    http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/07/positive.html

    read my shitty blog!

    ReplyDelete
  100. oi oi FBH... i bet you were thinking a good world cup is a lot like making love to a beautiful woman, you need to build up slowly, don't knock it out to early, try to be exciting butmake sure you get the job done and try to save the best for the finale...

    ReplyDelete
  101. http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/07/positive.html

    http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/07/positive.html

    http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/07/positive.html



    2 of the above links are to my shitty blog, but one leads to a comprimising picture of sophie raworth.... pick wisely!

    ReplyDelete
  102. To paraphrase, "reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated."

    I have not left and have no intention of so doing. I've simply spoken my mind and said things as I see them for once. This blog is far too good to walk away from.

    My comments were not aimed at anyone in particular RBA, indeed I have to admit to finding many of your comments, spellings and grammatical idiosyncrasies hilarious.

    To continue in serious vein I think truth can never be ugly but peoples perception of it can be and is. Nevertheless I will defend peoples right to free speech but when democracy confers free speech on I believe it also confers responsibilities. I tend to get annoyed when these responsibilities are ignored, hence my earlier post.

    I am sorry if I have offended anyone, equally I am sorry if anyone cannot see where I am coming from.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Ill-thought and inapropriate... dunno what preach means i'm having a great conversation with meself...

    http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/07/positive.html


    night night...

    ReplyDelete
  104. Sorry the word on after free speech should not be there.

    ReplyDelete
  105. Preach said

    "I am sorry if I have offended anyone, equally I am sorry if anyone cannot see where I am coming from."
    ------
    You'se comming from Nottingham, innit?

    No, seriously, as I wrote above, I'm sure many don't mean to intentionally insult, it's all meant to be just a bit of fun. Well it is for me anyway, I don't come here to offend, if I have then apologies, just to have a giggle.

    ReplyDelete
  106. Great ... I get back from work to see everyone else's knocked off an hour before me ... Well how fecking rude is that? Humph!.

    *slouches off*

    ReplyDelete
  107. Holloway2Holland said...
    I agree RBA man, the blogs much better without the shackles. I don't agree with everything that many posters write, but where's the fun in constantly agreeing with each other,

    H - can't agree with that mate :)

    ReplyDelete
  108. yeah H, i normally agree with everything (apart from the wife) but i cannot agree with that..............what did you say again?

    ReplyDelete
  109. Look, I aint funny like you guys, I only come here to offend people.

    Dont know what the brouhaha is about.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Spit, Don't know what a brouhaha is? Sounds amusing enough though.
    --
    And funny? Funny how? (Joe Peschi style)

    ReplyDelete
  111. Nick Clegg | London, UK I’d like to join millions of people across the country in wishing the England team good luck in the World Cup. 11:00 AM Jun 11th
    He hasnt tweeted since - the twat!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  112. p.s. I started The Collector (book) weeks ago - struggled with it - some kind person on here advised to persevere - it was shit!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  113. H,

    Funny is what my tummy's been the whole day. That würst salad yesterday proved incompatible with my inner workings.

    Or could be inappropriate amounts of Weiss bear to fight off the 40°C we had yesterday.


    FBH,

    you are from Middlesbrough. Everyone is posh to you.

    ReplyDelete
  114. On reflection - Spit didnt say Hullabaloo so maybe not??? :)

    ReplyDelete
  115. Anyone remember Paul Gascoigne's tackle on Garry Parker in the 1991 Cup Final. He wasn't even booked for it and should have been sent off. Maybe if he had and Spurs had been made to play the rest of the game with ten men there would have been a different name on the cup that year. Maybe too if the law had been applied in the World Cup, Spain would won more easily too. Don't blame Howard Webb though, he wasn't the one kicking lumps out of everyone. The match could easily have been abandoned before half time as there could have been insufficient numbers left on the pitch to reach a conclusion. He just tried to keep the game going.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Middlesbrough is often used in terms of sociologists attempts to define "posh" - counter intuitive but true - ya no warra mean like

    ReplyDelete
  117. Question,

    is it 'on reflection' or 'upon reflection'

    I am always getting it wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  118. I thought "posh" was being married to an ex-footballer?? by the name of Beckham.

    ReplyDelete
  119. Hey Spit - spose it depends on the size of the mirror.

    Ilkcam - I recall Gazza saying that he wished he HAD been sent off - his career may have been even better

    ReplyDelete
  120. Johan Cruyff: "It hurts me that Holland chose an ugly path...This ugly, vulgar, hard, hermetic, hardly eye-catching, hardly football style"

    C'mon Johan, say what you really think of the dutch tactics.

    ReplyDelete
  121. I actually found it sweet irony, that JC, Hiddink and Ryjkaard have been so influential in making Spain, what they are, how they play today to see their own homeland chose to follow the German teams of yore that broke up oppositions so brutally and effectively.

    Still, had they won, would it have been all worth it?

    Yes, probably, to them.

    This realisation saddens me.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Also, forgot to add Luis van Gaal in that list.

    ReplyDelete
  123. Spit, FBH, isn't one concave and the other convex?

    ReplyDelete
  124. All straight in my house, Preach.

    And thank god for that.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Spit, upon is more formal and has its roots in Middle English; up + on, Old Norse upp a

    So my friend the choice is yours!

    ReplyDelete
  126. Preach - I thought that was lenses not mirrors ?? :)

    ReplyDelete
  127. Its been a while, but I am sure reflection was about mirrors (concave and convex).

    For lenses, it's refraction, innit?

    ReplyDelete
  128. When I say, been a while, I talk of when I was in school.

    Pretty sure mirrors still reflect.

    ReplyDelete
  129. I love it when it gets surreal .... :)

    ReplyDelete
  130. Preach,

    thanks for enlightening (re on/up+on)

    I'll be reflecting on that.

    ReplyDelete
  131. Big news here in Germany of course, yesterday some of the highspeed trains lost all air-conditioning with temps reaching 40°C.

    Apparently, the trains' cooling system couldnt handle the heat.

    Germans. They dont make them like they used to.

    ReplyDelete
  132. some good ones in there (Teenage Erection!) Robbo - but disappointing that you've piled-on the Dutch with the rest of the media... if the game hadn't been televised, we'd all assume there were 11 Oranjemen stationed in their box with machetes, never once considering making an attack on Spain's goal!
    yes, De Jong's challenge was bonkers and red-worthy, but other than it's obvious visual impact on TV and in the papers, was it as bad last man Puyol trying to grab Robben's junk from behind (ewww - sorry, unfortunate wording)?
    is our attention span so thin that a mistimed, but photogenic 50-50 challenge at midfield worthy of more conversation than a denied 1v1 with the keeper in the 83rd minute of a scoreless Final? insanity!

    hey, Spain are the better team (add up the salaries of the starting 11 on each squad - the bloody well should be!)
    but Holland created, yes CREATED some great chances to win, and ultimately, Spain got the rub of the green in some timely moments to seal victory... es la verdad!

    ReplyDelete
  133. Nice one Denis.
    ---
    Spit, how's the weather in Deutsland today?

    Here it was a bit f-ed up, especially in the east by the NL/Ger border, they even issued an official weather warning, because of storms and 100kmph plus winds.

    ReplyDelete
  134. We had four inches of rain dumped on our heads in Kent this morning H ...just the incentive to get out of bed on a Monday eh?

    ReplyDelete
  135. H,

    the whole day was one freekin' sauna.
    On my way home, I had to slow down to 130, cause the side wind nearly took me in path of a truck.

    Now it's rained a bit and cool breeze is brewing.

    Splendid, summer balcony weather.

    ReplyDelete
  136. Oh, and in the north, there's been Tornados and all sorts of stormy weather reaking havoc.

    ReplyDelete
  137. FBH, In the dim and distant past when you were doubtless young, debonair and handsome, did you ever go into a hall of mirrors and fail to recognise the person staring back at you from the mirror? That's concave and convex mirrors.
    What is also convex and concave is the lenses that make up my glasses. This time because the light passing through the lens changes direction.
    You've been to school Spit since I have so have we got it right between us, do you reckon?

    ReplyDelete
  138. Preach, I have an inclination that our mate fbh went to school after you but before I did.

    Therefore, even by extrapolation, he should be able to get it right.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Here in Nottingham it started to rain gently at 0430 hrs and it is still raining steadily even as I type.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Rain - well listen - I went out yesterday to a theme park with Em - but when I got out my pit the water woudlnt work - no cold effing water - I looked on Northumbrian Water website - no indication of faults or cut off - anyway - after returning from said day out - noticed back of house was wet - it had rained inside my house - sumat to do wioth leaving a tap on (whilst no water coming from it) and a towel in the said sink - so dont talk to me about rain.

    Mind it didnt stop me going boozer to watch match - in fact I had no choice as had to turn leccy off for elfin saftey

    ReplyDelete
  141. FBH, is your real name Frank Spencer by any chance?

    You have my sympathy. I once tried to change a washer and ripped off the top of the tap!!

    ReplyDelete
  142. It aint that bad preach - damp carpets and a feeling of "you stupdi idiot FBH" :)

    Whats forest chances next year Big Man?

    ReplyDelete
  143. rustyrockets When I heard that Coldplay were covering my song "Bangers, Beans and Mash" I wet myself - and it was all yellow.

    c/o Russel Brand - or is it grant - u know the west ham lad with a sex problem

    ReplyDelete
  144. On twitter Im following 91 and being follwoed by 20 - poor ratio me thinks - popularity is not my skill :(

    ReplyDelete
  145. And no one seems tobe following me on here????

    ReplyDelete
  146. Unless they can introduce some quality fresh blood, not good. So far we have only sold and to my mind that means play-offs at the very best.
    It looks like a team of Scots for you seemingly; how do you rate them?
    I'm watching what's happening at Leeds (my stepson Alan is a supporter) and in addition to all their signings thus far, they have 11 Brazilians on trial. Could we be looking at sunshine and sambas at Elland Road?

    ReplyDelete
  147. Im getting optimistic Preach - may have to change my name - but not yet:)

    ReplyDelete
  148. One thing I'm sure of, promotion will be no easier this season than it was last.

    ReplyDelete
  149. I had a new book delivered from Amazon this afternoon called, Word Biblical Commentary Galatians and it's time for a read so this is Preach saying


    Shalom

    ReplyDelete
  150. apparently reporting tomorrow morning, kevin thomson signing tomorrow for 2 million. the rangers fans are not happy bears tonight, he is easily in the 4 million plus bracket. they dont want miller anywere near ibrox in a money plus deal

    Ar last - a replacement for Boateng!!! Perhaps.

    ReplyDelete
  151. Can't believe anyone would try to even defend the Dutch after that performance. Webb was damned if he did or didn't. I'd said on an earlier blog that the Dutch approach was to strangle the life out of a game but they went one better yesterday and tried to kick it to death.

    As for the whinging deigos. It should be an automatic yellow card for waving an imaginary yellow card in the direction of the referee after being fouled and for running up and screaming your idignation in his face you should get a straight red. That might shut the fuckers up.

    On the super slow mos showing the hack completely missed and the writhing mess on the floor is going for an Oscar, a la Rivaldo, use that footage and give them a 5 match ban as Robbo suggests.

    and as for all the whinging about the quality of comments/comedy on this blog get a life. Comedy is about being on the edge. Sometimes it works and sometimes it makes you look like a prick. Sometimes it's just not funny to anyone but the author but you've got to have a go or you won't evolve - like some of the posters on here.

    ReplyDelete
  152. BTW the last comment was not comedic on the other hand, you have different fingers.

    ReplyDelete
  153. Well Zebedee, nice try.

    You have offended a lot of people in one go. you ....

    ReplyDelete
  154. Liverpool have blocked a proposed deal for French striker David Ngog to go to West Brom on a season-long loan in case they cannot bring in two new strikers before the transfer window shuts.
    ---------------------
    They will remain shite again this season.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Well peeps I'm guessing it'll only be a matter of days before Strachan announces that Boro are changing their name to The Auld Firm All Stars.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Nah,

    think he'll name the dump Middlesburgh and demand amendments to the wall.

    Quick, set up a fund to help them out.

    ReplyDelete
  157. Torres out for 2 months - what a shame

    http://adampsb.blogspot.com/2010/07/patience-of-saint.html

    ReplyDelete
  158. FBH - how come you have loads of followers - are you following me on Twitter yet?

    ReplyDelete
  159. Morning guys. I'm back to work, the kids are back to school and I can tell ya, it seemed strange for me to wake up in the morning today!!!

    ReplyDelete
  160. Easy people.... preach glad to see you back, it would be a shame to see you go man. Just to clear things up it looks like i dash as soon as you post somethign which make me look a little calous... i assure you it was just a case of bad timing, thanks for coming back and clarifying your point... and you is right this blog is too good to lose...

    Now if you wanna crap blog...

    http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/07/positive.html

    ReplyDelete
  161. And if you want a good balanced blog look at something else

    For the diametric opposite of the BBC opinion of he world cup look at

    http://adampsb.blogspot.com/2010/07/patience-of-saint.html

    ReplyDelete
  162. Monk, that is well funny! hahahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  163. hahaha, perfect timing as well, a good freind of mine is an indian guy and he just dropped me an email saying he is depressed at work and really pissed off today... oh man, perfect! that just killed him!!! hahahahahaha....

    Cheers monk...

    ReplyDelete
  164. I just had to share that. I think the Beeb reporters at times are good at cracking a joke

    ReplyDelete
  165. Pepe Reina, has actually gone up in my opinion alot, as this is funny!

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1294228/Barcelona-land-Cesc-Fabregas-night-Spain-prank-annoys-Arsenal-fans.html


    he really wants to go...

    ReplyDelete
  166. RedBlueArmy92 said...

    hahaha, perfect timing as well, a good freind of mine is an indian guy and he just dropped me an email saying he is depressed at work and really pissed off today... oh man, perfect! that just killed him!!! hahahahahaha....



    -------------------------

    What, figuratively, or physically?

    ReplyDelete
  167. first one, then the other... LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  168. I think Pepe Reina really deserves a smack in the kisser!!

    ReplyDelete
  169. Oh come on, that is funny... i didn't think old Pep had a sense of humor, but he does and it is absolutely cnutish... hehe

    ReplyDelete
  170. Dear Zebedee
    I wish to disagree with your comment that "but you've got to have a go or you won't evolve" as there is nothing wrong in failing to evolve.
    Yours FBH the Amoeba

    p.s. Ngog to West Brom - name change me thinks :)

    ReplyDelete
  171. Are we all still Fruit & Nut cases???

    ReplyDelete
  172. Strange lyrics
    Chestnut Mare The Byrds (bout a horse)
    Im gunna catch that Horse if I can

    And We'll be freinds for life
    She'll be just like a wife

    Get locked up for that eh

    ReplyDelete
  173. http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/financial-control-devolved-to-gps-in-huge-nhs-reform-gamble-2025070.html#comment-61848238

    Konnolsky post!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  174. SS11 said...
    Liverpool have blocked a proposed deal for French striker David Ngog to go to West Brom on a season-long loan in case they cannot bring in two new strikers before the transfer window shuts.
    ---------------------
    They will remain shite again this season.

    _____________________________


    Have I read this wrong or do Pool need 2 strikers to replace Ngog????

    ReplyDelete
  175. Bloody hell - set me alarm to talk to some mates I aint seen in a while and theyve not turned up.

    Feels like a failed first date.

    ReplyDelete
  176. I'd seen the Indian condom one before but here's another to send to your Indian friends.


    Google US vs Google India

    ReplyDelete
  177. cuntish you wanted to say? he he

    ReplyDelete
  178. Adam - I am following you already mate

    ReplyDelete
  179. Liverpool just need two strikers Gaz, not one long haired wondercrock and a bunch of misfits who couldn't hit a barn at 4 paces between them.

    ReplyDelete
  180. GazUtd said...
    I'd seen the Indian condom one before but here's another to send to your Indian friends.
    =====================================
    I liked the Periodic Table more. It now makes sense after all these years

    ReplyDelete
  181. Real's comments on buying St. Steven...

    "the president does not agree with Gerrard because he is 30 and Perez doesn't want to know. Plus, Liverpool asked for 70million euros [£58million]."

    ________________


    58 MILLION!!!

    FIFTY EIGHT FUCKING MILLION!!!

    They do have some serious sense of humour those Scousers, don't they!

    ReplyDelete
  182. 58 mill for a bad tempered fouling, cheating, elbow swinging, brawling thug?

    Only Liverpool, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  183. ha ha ha........... £58million for a has been?!? I thin kit's time they overhaul all their advisors

    ReplyDelete