Wednesday, 21 July 2010

Kopping the Love

Steven Gerrard is staying at Liverpool. Again.


This creature is called the Red-Knobbed Starfish. Say No More

There’s two ways of looking at this. One: every so often he needs a bit of a wage hike or a bit of kiss-ass so the rumours do the rounds and Koppites everywhere gather in clusters around flaming bins lobbing lucky charms into the flames in the hope that the sainted lad won’t take his falling starfish routines to another home.

Two: Gerrard really is physically unable to sever his ties to Liverpool and will always remain there so long as he’s wanted.

And maybe there’s a third. I’m not sure the England captaincy sat comfortably on his slender scally shoulders in the summer. All right he was one of England’s better players but that’s a bit like saying that on a plate of well dodgy seafood he was the open mussel that left you feeling the least sick.

And there’s been whispers coming out in cyberspace – we’ve all heard ‘em – about liaisons with less than appropriate partners and the consequences of such entanglements. None of that has been proved of course so I’ll go no further.

However, whilst Gerrard’s loyalty is admirable on one level, I look at him as a player who could really do with a couple of seasons mixing it with technically gifted and nimble footballers. The Liverpool side has been built around him for years and he’s struggled to adapt with the national team when that isn’t the case.

Frankly Unfat Frank has struggled too out of his Chelsea Armchair, and it’s fair to say that Capello’s insistence on finding a place for both of them in the England line-up by employing neither of them in a position they enjoy has been one of his more perverse decisions.

But I think when push comes to shove, Gerrard has bottled it. The Kop make him too comfy. Let’s face it the bloke turned a leaden eleven into Cup Winners twice over in 2005-6, so the bronze Stevie G statue is virtually in the mould already just waiting for his retirement.

Last season he did nowt, and still not a word of complaint from the faithful. I think he needs to be braver. I’d love to see him winning over a new set of fans at the Bernabeu. Above all it would make him a far better player.

Of course the news that he’s staying has given a Viagra-fuelled swell to Merseyside optimism. That and the arrival of the Artful Dodger on a free transfer. That’s 90 grand a week free. An injury-free Joe Cole might justify that but you could say the same about a fit and flying Fernando were it not that his muscles tweak with the regularity of a Murali doosra.


'Si, I score a goal! Now can you carry me to side of pitch. I hurt my leg.'

Personally I think cashing in on the frail flower that is Torres and giving Hodgson a bundle of cash to purchase three hardy perennials in his place might give ‘Pool more chance. Nando’s twanging sinews might have been a bit less stretched had Benitez had another striker with a bit more than going for him that Honest Dirk, Forgawd’ssake Ngog and the petulant gossip that is Babel. Jovanovic should help.

And here’s where I’d share a little of the optimism – Liverpool have employed a realist to manage the team. Hodgson won’t be raking through dossiers or playing one up front at Bloomfield Road or taking himself to the naughty step till someone comes over to find out what’s up.

There’s other good signs. Liverpool have hilariously acquired five million quid for the sale of Emiliano Insua. Which is like finally kicking some layabout lodger off the sofabed in the front room and finding a cache of gold bullion under the pillows.
Philipp Degen has been told he can leave. I think he’s been told that by about 45,000Scousers every time he’s taken to the field so it’s nice to think that the management are catching on.

The only other imponderable is Mascherano who seems to conduct a lot of his negotiations via any rag you care to mention. I mean he’s been linked to so many places there’s positively a chain gang of Champions League clubs tugging at his cloggery ankles.

If only Waldorf and Stadler can find that elusive Arab cashpoint in the Emirates somewhere then all may well be rosy.

The reason 5th is still looking the most likely outcome form the upcoming season is that Spurs should maintain their position and Man City continue to cough up ridiculous sums of wonga for just about anyone who’s available.

Whether Mancini’s able to shape the mercenaries into a bunch of Wild Geese capable of stringing together a decent set of results is open to question. Certainly this Mourinho Lite of a manager is top of the list of likely casualties during next season.


Arrgh. Must've typed in Roberto Mankini.

I imagine the Citeh board are already looking at the fixture list to see when’s the best time to fly in the next candidate: from November 13th they’ve got a nice little run of potentially cushy matches so that’s where my money’d be.

But any road, Gerrard won’t skipping into the sky blue stable. He’ll be leading from the front in Mersey red, same as he ever was.

I suppose in this day and age it’s good to see a one-club footballer sticking to those that have always supported him. I just wonder whether, cos of emotional ties or professional fear, he’s ever had the nuts to see what it might be like away from the eternal adoration that comes from the Kop.

711 comments:

  1. ewwww! why have you put your holiday snaps in here? I've been disturbed enough this a.m by the thought of Titus Fumble moving to SoL without seeing you in your shreddies.
    put it away man

    ReplyDelete
  2. third? A Champs league Spot?

    Great stuff Robbo. It's true though, what will City do with all the excess? There'll be a flood of reasonably priced formerly highly rated talent on the market all disatisfied at only getting 3 games a season. Opportunity knocks.

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  3. Nice blog as always. I personally think that Gerrard has bottled it - fight to get into a team of great players and improve himself, or always be the first name on the team sheet and be adored no matter how much effort he puts in.
    He's getting on a bit now though - I don't think many more offers from Europe's top clubs will be coming his way.

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  4. 4th spot. dream on liverpool. joe cole. £90,000 a week ha ha. he's old and slow and he'll be out injured by christmas ha ha. he'll be lucky to get tendulkar's biog as a present.

    ReplyDelete
  5. 'Kin 'ell where's the bleach? I need it for my eyes after seeing that last pic.

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  6. you'll be able to smell tendulkars biog as soon as you go into the bookshop. dont leave it where your wife sits or she'll get pregnant with a small brown cricketing genius baby. at least you wont need a bookmark - just leave a bogie.

    ReplyDelete
  7. starfish went to a party

    pulled a mussel

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  8. If that don't get the Scousers back I dunno what will.

    Bottled it? Well obviously he has. Luckily for him his 6 mates took the blame and he got a week at a 17* hotel for having to go to court.


    By the way Robbo, do you know that the rumour about Saint Steven and extra-marital dalliances and babies was all started by some blokes on Red Cafe? Seriously.

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  9. those mankini's are well overated, they leave terrible tan lines.

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  10. NOT FIRST!!!!

    ha ha ha at that Roberto Mankini oke..........
    Bloody 'ell Robbo, now this is much better than the "guest show" of the other day. Brilliant!!

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  11. Gaz, he was innocent, he was aquitted by a jury of his peers (12 lads off the Kop).

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  12. Still no comments about Mcboro though??

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  13. You sod Gaz ... you had me then.

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  14. Ok guys!! Let me steal the limelight

    http://land-of-the-saffers.blogspot.com/2010/07/cup-came-by-charter-plane-was-paraded.html

    ReplyDelete
  15. Maybe he is just loyal

    I mean Giggs, Scholes and Neville were one-club players and by no stretch are they bottlers

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  16. Neville should be bottled though.

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  17. And I don't mean in the fine wine way.

    Formaldehyde though would be acceptable.

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  18. Stevie G has done well to stay where he is.

    Why would he go abroad? He can hardly speak English, like. It would take him years to master the phrase "play my record or I'll nut ya" in Spanglish or whatever language the Johny Foriegners are speaking these days.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I don't think SG is loyal in the same sense of the three Utd players mentioned by adam. I don't remember three yearly rounds of tittle-tattle surrounding any of them lads (possibly cos they couldn't move under the weight of effing silverware - grrrrrr!) Gerrard has been at a club that has not fulfilled its ambitions and yet he's stayed put each time. Like I say, it's a bit too cosy. He's a very good footballer and I'd like to see him work for a place in a team of equally good footballers.

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  20. Adam, I have to congratulate you on your ability to change any subject into a Man Utd or PSB related one.

    Can't remember reading much speculation for offers for Giggs, Scholes and Neville, well, maybe for the latter, fron the unnatural science museum.

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  21. So Stevie G's a big fish in small pond then ...

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  22. So Robbo what you are saying is that Saint Steven is in fact the new Le Tissier?

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  23. Robbo, I agree that it's too cosy for him.
    He probably thinks, why would I be a duke in Madrid when I can be a King in L'pool?

    ReplyDelete
  24. H2 That's because the Queen in Liverpool position is already filled by Pete Burns

    ReplyDelete
  25. But who's filling the Queen's position?

    On second thoughts, I REALLY don't wanna know.

    ReplyDelete
  26. So Robbo what you are saying is that Saint Steven is in fact the new Le Tissier?

    Narrggh - the new Steve Bull??

    ReplyDelete
  27. Or the new Red Bull.

    Well marketed, but too much will make you sick.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Gaz - its china shop - china shop??? :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. Me Ol' China shop.

    Cockney version of Facebook?

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  30. Adam, I have to congratulate you on your ability to change any subject into a Man Utd or PSB related one.

    Can't remember reading much speculation for offers for Giggs, Scholes and Neville, well, maybe for the latter, fron the unnatural science museum.

    -----------------

    speaking of museums it was interesting to see museums mentioned in the Big Society speech (also did you know Neil Tennant's summer job at while at North London Poly was working in the Reading Room at the British Museum - Jammy sod

    ReplyDelete
  31. subject change - fantastic

    Back on teh subject though - Stevie G will never leave Liverpool becasue he isn't really as good as everyone thinks he is and he can't deal with being anything other than a big fish in a small pond

    ReplyDelete
  32. H2H, surely rhyming slang for Facebook is Boat Captain

    Saint Steven is saying as he believes in three things....
    1. Red Roy will bring them back to thei rightful place in the league....5th
    2. Nando will stay
    3. He's got some new friends to play up front with

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  33. AnfieldHopeful21 July 2010 at 15:05

    I think Stevie found himself in a damned if he did and damned if he didnt spot...I'm sure we would've been writing about how the rat deserted the sinking ship..no respect for the fans..blah blah if he ended up at the Bernabeu..

    Totally agree with the sell Torres and get 3 strikers who play more than 9 games a season theory..give him to Madrid/Barca and get Benzema, Remy and hells bells Bellamy back and theres some chance of making the Top 4.

    And c'mon guys..be honest..how many of you "Joe Cole's old and injured" brigade were screaming at the telly for Capello to bring him on a month ago.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Well done Adam.

    ---

    Grit, that would be the literal translation, yeah, but it didn't fit in with Steve Red Bull China Shop.

    You savvy?

    ReplyDelete
  35. Are there actually any china shops left?

    I blame the Tories.

    ReplyDelete
  36. AnfieldHopeful said...

    I think Stevie found himself in a damned if he did and damned if he didnt spot...I'm sure we would've been writing about how the rat deserted the sinking ship..no respect for the fans..blah blah if he ended up at the Bernabeu..

    Totally agree with the sell Torres and get 3 strikers who play more than 9 games a season theory..give him to Madrid/Barca and get Benzema, Remy and hells bells Bellamy back and theres some chance of making the Top 4.

    And c'mon guys..be honest..how many of you "Joe Cole's old and injured" brigade were screaming at the telly for Capello to bring him on a month ago.
    21 July 2010 15:05

    ----------------------------------

    Weren't me ... I was far too busy screaming and swearing at how fucking useless and devoid of passion the IX on the field were ...

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  37. I blame th IRA they blew them all up

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  38. in fact China shops - I'm not sure what you buy at a chine shop

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  39. Racist!










    Although it does remind me of the Irishman who got 12 years for shoplifting.


    Or the PSB fan who got a bad rash for shirtlifting.

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  40. And c'mon guys..be honest..how many of you "Joe Cole's old and injured" brigade were screaming at the telly for Capello to bring him on a month ago.
    -------------------

    Not as many that were screaming at him for being rubbish when he made no impact after Capello brought him on. Beckham on crutches would have played better than the England team did

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  41. I didn't know you were a PSB fan Gaz

    Did the rash go away before or after you finished your 12 year stretch for shoplifting

    ReplyDelete
  42. Is there something happening in the world of international data copying devices?

    Lord Dave placed an order for 1 million copies of Maggie's best of cutbacks DVD?

    ReplyDelete
  43. AnfieldHopeful21 July 2010 at 15:17

    adampsb said...
    And c'mon guys..be honest..how many of you "Joe Cole's old and injured" brigade were screaming at the telly for Capello to bring him on a month ago.
    -------------------

    Not as many that were screaming at him for being rubbish when he made no impact after Capello brought him on. Beckham on crutches would have played better than the England team did
    -------------------
    Fair comment adam .... i just dislike folks taking shots at players/teams no matter what path they choose..its almost a pre-determined "today's wednesday so I'm gonna hurl invective at Mancini" mindset..

    and yet Joe C at no-fee and 90k/week still is not as bad as Milner at 25 mil and whatever they pay him/week

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  44. I heard Mancini had put in a £400 million bid for invective.

    ReplyDelete
  45. thers allways something happening in the world of international data copying devices...

    Lord dave hasn't ordered hi sdiscs yet, but nick clegs has put in an order for a large amount of submissive dominatrix porn...

    ReplyDelete
  46. AnfieldHopeful.

    I think you make quiet a good point, many were screaming blue murder, when Fab left JC out of the starting line up. I think he's a decent player, although I wasn't at all dissapointed when he choose L'pool over Arsenal, I couldn't see where he would of fit in for us (or at Spurs to be honest) I think he'll do OK at Anfield though, if, and that's a pretty big if, he can stay injury free.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Couldn't have been Cleggy.

    He was too busy in the Commons today during 'Supply Prime Minister's Questions'

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  48. AnfieldHopeful21 July 2010 at 15:37

    That isn't 400 million/week is it Gaz? Dunno what's taking Liverpool so long to find an Arab benefactor too..surely cant be that tough...

    ReplyDelete
  49. Its gonna be like a scene from Shawn of the Dead H2...stevie, torres, glen johnson, joe cole..all walking around bandaged with that glazed look in the eyes that comes from staring at everyone else's moneybags

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  50. Ah - haha

    BUT :

    And c'mon guys..be honest..how many of you "Joe Cole's old and injured" brigade were screaming at the telly for Capello to bring him on a month ago.

    ---------------

    everyone was, AH, because "old and injured" (and slow, btw) beats "fucking useless" (heskey) any day of the week, even wedensdays which youre right is usually slag off mankini day

    ReplyDelete
  51. aH- haha is my second favourite Norwegian band

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  52. thats right gaz, up from 8th. we're doin all right aint we?

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  53. You never know Gaz...we might recruit De Jong and then everyone else will have more injuries than us..so it could be a close fight and we could get to 6th

    ReplyDelete
  54. Not you lot AH. Well maybe you lot if you're English.

    But good to know you know your place as a Scouser :)

    ReplyDelete
  55. this is on the bbc football homepage...

    "Yes Cole is an inspired signing. Furthermore it is a signing that Rafa could never have pulled off "

    a quote from a red on 606...


    Its really good that in may, rafa was still an amazing manager, that in june,Roy was not good enough and now in July , Roy is better than rafa...

    At least no one can say footy fans are fickle...

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  56. no point combining humility and supporting liverpool, AH. start down that road youll find yourself at goodison park

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  57. we're only fickle because we dont know what we're talking about, rba

    ReplyDelete
  58. Hey, Noel was first, does that make him the First Noel? Are the angels singing? and are the certain poor shepherds full of mush?

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  59. well, either fickle or just optimistic RBA..maybe we just convince ourselves that whatever we have going on at the moment is whats best for us..

    blog..speaking of goodison park, I was plumping for Moyes when Rafa left, so you're not too far off..just wanted someone who could do a lot with a little (a little money that is, not a little anything else)..seems like Roy is doing just that..oh fickle me!

    ReplyDelete
  60. trott haha. yes the Seraphim and cherubim continually do cry. And why do they continually cry? 'Cause they've all got the fucking horn up there

    and LO!..the pornstar duo suse-the-slow-knitta & Baldyboi came second

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  61. AH - i wanted to see Roy at the Rovers meself


    coat!

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  62. oh right, i though it was cos we have fragile egos and we hope to make up for our own neurosis and self loathing by living vicariusly through a football team, to the point where an insult against a multi million pound organisation who care only about profits is taken in the same manner as an insult made against a close family member, and due to the security pack mentality provides even when our teams are wrong we will say they are right, as an atack against them is an attack against us? Essentially football clubs are "Blankies" for mans inner child, they are infaliible security mechanisms, protecting us from the lonliness of existence.

    Haha, i made footbal rubbish.... oh:(

    ReplyDelete
  63. and Lo, Blog was told to come forth but he came fifth! (we're just lucky he showed up at all)

    ReplyDelete
  64. RBA sorry to break it to you but you didn't make football rubbish

    Rafa got there before you

    I miss Rafa

    ReplyDelete
  65. even rafa can't make footy rubbish... well you know what i mean!


    Up the fucking shots!

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  66. cant count trott.

    rba multi-million pound organisation???!!! ha ha - said the aldershot fan to the vale fan

    Blankies? ive got 3 kids at least, probably more

    ReplyDelete
  67. are you off for an early bath soon, rba?

    try this one

    http://www.football.co.uk/gallery/f/photo-36.shtml

    ReplyDelete
  68. Ok, multi-pound organisations... haha.

    (plus me and you are real fans, as we supprt actual teams, not hollywood, photoshopped distorted, richmans wetdream, billion dollar debt machines)

    Supporting Ashot does now't for my fragile ego...



    thank god for my enourmos penis...

    ReplyDelete
  69. vale is a multi-hundred pound organisation

    ReplyDelete
  70. rba - yes fortunately my penis too is of vast proportions thats why all my exes walk funny

    ReplyDelete
  71. we are a multi-million-pence organisation (just about)

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  72. its true what they say... the league 2 boys do have jumbo wangers...

    Its what makes the play slower than the tiny penised premier league...

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  73. HSBC were a million pens organisation thats why they put the little chains on them

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  74. its true, rba, buster gonad has just signed a two year deal for Port Scrotum Town

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  75. hung like baby carrots in the premiership. fans and players alike.

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  76. Fie on you for speaking the truth and destroying our beautiful illusory lives RBA..

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  77. its true mate and korean stars Mi Wang Huj and Dong Bi Big have signed for Schlongton Ballbag Athletic.

    ReplyDelete
  78. blogdignag said...
    hung like baby carrots in the premiership. fans and players alike.
    ____________________

    And any one thinking, yeah but carrots dont have penis's.... what about Jasper?

    ReplyDelete
  79. you couldn't make a red-knobbed starfish out of the Vale back 5. It's a widely known fact that Bolton fans and players have the largest langers in the game.

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  80. yeah but only cos peter kay and vernon kay are two of the biggest pricks in the universe...

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  81. don't you have to pack up yer desk?

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  82. TrotterUSA said...
    you couldn't make a red-knobbed starfish out of the Vale back 5. It's a widely known fact that Bolton fans and players have the largest langers in the game.

    -----------

    for "largest" read "smallest"

    Q : why are penises called "langers" in Bolton/

    A : because during sexual intercourse they are "justin"

    ReplyDelete
  83. yeah.... so!

    League 2 has the biggest wongers and premier legue has teh biggest c*nts... SPL is full of areholes, the ch,ionship has the biggest balls, and legue one is the "gooch" you know the seem betwix nut and aresehole...

    ReplyDelete
  84. doesn't it always feel that way when you're fuckin' a whale?

    ReplyDelete
  85. right now i have to go...


    Blogs... Justin.... quality man!


    you should write a sitcom...






    de ja vu?

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  86. Q : why are penises called "langers" in Bolton/

    A : because during sexual intercourse they are "justin"
    -----------------------
    correct answer - because they Burn Hard

    ReplyDelete
  87. will rba wait until 17.03 to read trotters riposte?

    it would be rude if you dont, rba?

    ReplyDelete
  88. rba havent you written it yet?

    ReplyDelete
  89. TrotterUSA said...

    you couldn't make a red-knobbed starfish out of the Vale back 5. It's a widely known fact that Bolton fans and players have the largest langers in the game.

    _______________

    Trott, I was once at Reebok, sat with a mate of mine amongst the home fans and could understand why everytime a Bolton player touched a ball, the fans would shout, "pass!! you dick", "what a dick", "utter pillock" etc. etc.

    Now I know.

    But this fascination with wangs when you are out to watch footy must be a bit disconcerting, no?

    ReplyDelete
  90. trott i just looked up langer on urban dictionary and have decided it means whatever anyone wants it to mean

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  91. Spit, it was one of Blog's ex girlfriends that told me.

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  92. the one who can't it down, trott? or the one who walks like a cowgirl? or the one who walks like shes walking on tramlines? or the one....

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  93. Re Stevie G. (and other so called English Superstars)

    If the want to prove and improve themselves, surely the way is to get out of the comfort zone?

    Go out and play somewhere where if you turn into a lazy sod half way through the season, you'll be told so.

    ReplyDelete
  94. if they want to improve themselves theyd get a gcse in english and a few morals, spit

    ReplyDelete
  95. Eduardo da Silva quits Arsenal for Shakhtar Donetsk - strange for someone who only signed a new contract last November and dived (I mean did) fairly well in the few opportunities he got.

    ReplyDelete
  96. We can always count on footballers for deep and profound insight. This from Giggsy -

    "Liverpool have a new manager and difficult to say what they are going to do, " said Manchester United's record appearance holder. It just depends on how it goes."

    We just would never have figured that out, would we?

    ReplyDelete
  97. Whereas, if, say, Stevie G had said...

    "we'veer gorra new manager and er like er itz difficult to say what er we're gunna do, like, er, it just depends on how it goes like."

    then it would have been front page of the Echo..."Stevie G : let's wait and see"

    ReplyDelete
  98. I think the only thing Stevie G says well enough now is "Not Guilty"

    ReplyDelete
  99. IF however you do wanna read about a footballer who has got probably s big a brain as the ball he kicked to earn his money, Read this.

    "Socrates Brasileiro Sampaio de Souza Vieira de Oliveira, to give him his full name, delayed the start of his international career until the age of 25 so he could complete his studies as a doctor. "

    "In his retirement, he has added a doctorate in philosophy and fathered six children, and he continues to practice medicine in the town of Ribeirao Preto in addition to being a commentator on both football and cultural issues. He is currently writing a novel. "



    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/8840141.stm

    ReplyDelete
  100. Good luck to Edwardo.

    He was a fine player but never regained full form or fitness from that horrible break.

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  101. So Arsene has 6 mill ... will he now buy a fooking GK?

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  102. Great move for him.
    How about Eduardo for Eduardo, the Portuguese keeper?

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  103. Good blog Robbo. The mention of Scousers always brings this blog to life.

    And there should be no such thing as "I am loyal, this is my club"

    The fact is Gerrard had a poor world cup and hence nobody wants to buy him.

    ReplyDelete
  104. There were talks of Morinho wanting to sign Gerrard for 30mil.

    They should have bitten his hand off.

















    Then seriously considered the offer.

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  105. dead right SS, he was also below par all season. The odd glimpse here and there but for the most part a shadow of his former self. Injured more than ever, maybe playing half fit didn't help.

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  106. Good luck to Eduardo, shame he never really came back to his best after that Brum twat cloged him.

    As for Eduardo the keeper, didn't he just move to a new club? Genoa I think?

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  107. yeah H, that Brum twat in the clogs, Van Brummel

    ReplyDelete
  108. A gillette razor £10, a set of Nike Golf Shoes £50, An Annual Salary of $90M, getting the missus to rescue you with your own golf club after crashing your car ......priceless

    ReplyDelete
  109. PORT VALE, multi-million pence corporation, transfer dealings :

    IN

    Sean Rigg Bristol Rovers Free

    (this takes vale's first team squad to 14 pros + 3 apprentices. )

    OUT

    Joe Anyon Lincoln City Free
    Daniel Lloyd-Weston Cheltenham Free
    Ross Davidson Released
    Danny Edwards Released
    Danny Glover Released
    James Lawrie Released
    Geoff Horsfield Released
    David Howland Released
    Luke Prosser Released
    Simon Richman Released

    Joe anyon was player of the year not long ago but bust his leg.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Clegg at PMQ's - car crash telly !!!!

    ReplyDelete
  111. AnfieldHopeful said...
    We can always count on footballers for deep and profound insight. This from Giggsy -

    "Liverpool have a new manager and difficult to say what they are going to do, " said Manchester United's record appearance holder. It just depends on how it goes."

    We just would never have figured that out, would we?
    _________________________________________________

    Did he add 'obviously at the end of the day if they give 200% for the new gaffer and take each game as it comes then obviously they've got some quality players and obviously that could lead to them doing okay but as I say at the end of the day it's football...'

    ReplyDelete
  112. robbo follow me on twitter @terryfbh

    ReplyDelete
  113. Athlone Town 0 Port Vale 2

    A much changed Athlone Town team from the previous nights game against Middlesbrough lined out Tuesday against Mickey Adams League 2 side Port Vale and went down to 2-0 defeat courtesy of a double from Vale’s captain and top scorer from last season Marc Richards.

    _______________


    Vale for the....

    Um, what is it Vale are going for again?

    ReplyDelete
  114. Sevilla are mulling a £9m bid for Everton midfielder Mikel Arteta.
    Full story: Daily Mail
    -------------
    Fuck Sevilla! I already signed him for a fee of £8.5m. He now plays for SharpShooters XI.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Bray Wanderes 0 Boro 3

    Does that count as another victory in europe - the have Es

    ReplyDelete
  116. So today Raul's coming to Spurs ... right ... That leaves Carrol, Simeone Jackson left before we run out of stikers and they start claiming RVP is coming to us.

    ReplyDelete
  117. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/l/liverpool/8842745.stm

    ------------------------------

    Yes and the 90K a week that Spurs and Arsenal weren't offering had nothing to do with it ...

    ReplyDelete
  118. GazUtd said...
    Athlone Town 0 Port Vale 2

    A much changed Athlone Town team from the previous nights game against Middlesbrough lined out Tuesday against Mickey Adams League 2 side Port Vale and went down to 2-0 defeat courtesy of a double from Vale’s captain and top scorer from last season Marc Richards.

    _______________


    Vale for the....

    Um, what is it Vale are going for again?

    -------------

    milk from cows. hate from gazzautd. there will be noone left on this blog soon, son, you'll have chased us all away with your hatred.

    i must go now and repair the damage to my self-esteem.

    limps away into sunset.

    FAREWELL!

    ReplyDelete
  119. So Cole has always wanted to play for Liverpool (since 2005) he says.

    Aint that what Keane said some 6 months before departure?

    ReplyDelete
  120. I can just see in six months time Liverpool handing Cole back to Chelsea along with five mill to take him off their hands Monk :)

    ReplyDelete
  121. blogdignag said...
    starfish went to a party

    pulled a mussel
    ================

    Haha! I like bloggy.

    Morning all!

    ReplyDelete
  122. Sorry that should've said:

    I like it Bloggy!!

    Fooking dunce that I is?!

    ReplyDelete
  123. morning ngog

    ITS THE JOHNSTONE PAINT TROPHY, GAz!

    THE JOHNSTONE PAINT TROPHY!

    the johnstone paint trophy!!!!!!

    OK????

    and we won it last season. we won every game and thrashed the villa at wembley and then the whole team was killed in a motorway pile-up and i was at the front of the coach leading the celebrations and then the driver swerved and the coach began to veer and I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize "Holy shit, blog, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head?"

    And it was. I was totally fine. The team was totally fine. I've never even been to wembley and theres always next year.

    ReplyDelete
  124. the johnstone paint trophy, or whatever the fuck its called this year, that is

    ReplyDelete
  125. The Wilkinsons Cat Shit Bag Trophy...


    And some say sponsorship is ruining footy!

    ReplyDelete
  126. In these times of austerity RBA I've got my penny on it being the Poundland Trophy this season.

    ReplyDelete
  127. The Marie Stope Trophy...

    I local tournament we have for the 13-16 year olds.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Worthless Piece of Crap Award for Pointless Ball Chasing

    ReplyDelete
  129. Ah well ... at least they're not playing for the Scouse cup ... it's made of thin air, which is then cunningly substituted for a real trophy they've nicked from somewhere.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Happy now, Gaz? Look what youve done to our self-esteem.

    ReplyDelete
  131. The Golden Stolen Hupcap Cup, star?

    ReplyDelete
  132. Certainly ain't one of my hub caps then Blog.

    ReplyDelete
  133. The GazUtd Cup full of hate cup, which is a cup full of hate presented to the losers by a swarm of wasps....

    ReplyDelete
  134. fall you bastards!i can see rooney in the pram rolling down the Spanish steps in battleship potemkin:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/sportvideo/footballvideo/7902709/Manchester-United-stars-climb-the-Rocky-steps.html

    united fan convention in manchester, i see, didnt know there were any virgins, there, though :

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newsvideo/weirdnewsvideo/7903821/Clown-parade-in-Mexico.html

    ReplyDelete
  135. more man u fan activity in the news:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7902348/Transvestite-had-sex-with-a-dog-at-English-Heritage-castle.html

    ReplyDelete
  136. this is the image that james purnell faked to make him look he was at a meeting he actually missed

    did the bbc do the same for rooney?

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1564465/James-Purnell-in-fake-photo-row.html

    ReplyDelete
  137. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Mwahahahahaha!

    Your transfer to the dark side is almost complete.


    You do know that you won that match I posted about though?

    Does the Johnstone Paint trophy do exactly what it says on the tin?

    What does it say on the tin? "Well done boys, some day you might make it to the real footie"


    Mwahahaha.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Good moaning everybidy.

    Blogs, why did the Vale release Danny Glover?

    Was he getting "too old for this shit"?

    ReplyDelete
  140. and if you wonder why, check out the post above

    ReplyDelete
  141. H2 yes he's leaving to make a film about a slave uprising, i understand

    ReplyDelete
  142. GazUtd said...
    Mwahahahahaha!

    -------

    is it the panto season all ready?

    GUARDS, SEIZE HIM!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  143. I HEARBY SOLEMNLY SWEAR NEVER oops caps lock to open a link posted by gazutd ever again

    ReplyDelete
  144. There are no depths to which I or Google Images will not sink, apparently!


    Ok, no more.


    Kiss and make up Bloggggy?

    Only on the cheek though.







    Not that cheek.

    ReplyDelete
  145. Blog snap out of it man, pacts with the devil made united united and this heart and souls is bollocks... they're cunts the lot of them, don't forget, dont let the hate in. City and cheslea cheque book cheats, yeah, but whats the alternative, just say ok Liverpool United and Arsenal you are the only teams in the land with a large enough following to enusre you will always be BIG and succesful, please carry on winning year after year, maintain this the staus quo, please take it in terms to be the best to exploit your size and share the spoils. Well if the fact that they got it right 70 years ago means that its ok to have a continued monopoly on the football, then so be it. But that is an exactly conservative view of football... think about it. In the same way lord daves ancesstors got it right by investing in the exploitation of the working man and to this day maintain the success and the power, so do the united and the liverpools... Chelsea and city isn't the right way to go, but at least its a change... Hopefully though the cash bubble bursts, the sponsors leave and footy is back on a level playing field...


    Up the fucking shots!

    ReplyDelete
  146. yeah youre right rba what was i thinking. post deleted.

    ReplyDelete
  147. YESSSSS! thats it mate!!!!


    Fuck united!

    Mwahahahahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  148. Debenhams Cup
    Runners-up: 1977

    _____________


    Didn't we win The Harvey Nicks trophy that year?

    ReplyDelete
  149. i thought id try a different way of thinking, see how it went. good old gazutd was there to remind me just why the whole world detests man utd. thanks gaz.

    ReplyDelete
  150. The Isthmian Years

    _______________


    Sounds like chapter 2 in a biography where the author is telling about his crack addiction and starring in gay porn to pay for it.

    ReplyDelete
  151. Bloooogggy I was worried about you. You were looking like you were going to continue saying good things bout United which would mean your friends and family would fall out with you. I couldn't let that happen.

    ReplyDelete
  152. cheers gaz but you neednt have worried as i didnt mean a word of it. facts are over-rated in my opiniion which is why i like football - noone (plyouth) has a clue but everyone carries on like fookin expert. its hilarious

    ReplyDelete
  153. Some people even get paid a fortune from the BBC for that Bllllooogggs

    ReplyDelete
  154. blogdignag said...
    cheers gaz but you neednt have worried as i didnt mean a word of it. facts are over-rated in my opiniion which is why i like football - noone (plyouth) has a clue but everyone carries on like fookin expert. its hilarious
    __________________________________________

    And thats why Ashot are sure for promotion, why united will crumble once giggs leaves (he is the key not that fraudster fergy) why city will by chesae at the same time cheslea by city, making both clubs null and void, and why pies taste bettin in season...

    FACTS!

    ReplyDelete
  155. Don't you mean FACKHTS?


    I miss Rafa.

    ReplyDelete
  156. and Port Vale will win the intergalactic Cup trouncing the Martians and the Alpha Centaurians on the way to universl acclaim

    gaz - i was thinking of alan hansen even as i typed. is that guy lazy or just thick? for predictions he's an anti-octopus

    ReplyDelete
  157. Yeah Bloggy, what were you thinking?

    Utd fans are devil worshiping glory hunters, Arsenal fans are moany, whingers. Chelsea fans are Johny come lately bandwagon jumpers and L'pool fans are........well......optimistic for next year.

    Eveyone knows the only *real fans are those who support the lower league teams, like the Vale, the Shots and the.........well, I don't know any others really, but thats not the point, because it's a myth and just an excuse to paint over the fact that *your teams are shit*. If they were any good they would of been bought up and shipped off to Abi Dabbi Doo or somewhere like that.

    We're all glory hunters and all want our teams to be the biggest and bestist they can be.

    Non league football, now that's where the *real fans are.

    ReplyDelete
  158. Well said H2H!

    Now can you please clean my screen as I spat Red Bull over it from laughing!

    ReplyDelete
  159. By the way, did you all see the hilarious story about Blatter in the South African press. Good old lazy journalists...

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/07/14/blatter_order/

    ReplyDelete
  160. Manchester United's new signing Javier Hernandez, who scored twice playing up front for Mexico at the World Cup, will have the name Chicharito - which means little pea - adorn his shirt next season.
    Full story: Sun.
    ----

    Little pea-nus?

    ReplyDelete
  161. *Hman, i am won over by your compelling words, so now...

    I support America in life, haha i am bigger and better than all of you... YES, I WIN, I WIN! and in a couple of years i'll support China...

    Up the Yanks... Up the resugent economy... Uncle Sam, theres only one unlcle Saaaaaammmy!

    ReplyDelete
  162. As I am probably the fattest person here, and certainly the biggest in other areas (!) does that mean you all have to support me from now on?

    ReplyDelete
  163. I told ya wé were all glory hunters.

    I'd get that China season ticket application in real soon if I were you mate.

    ReplyDelete
  164. Oh you irish and your comedy, we yanks love that shit, thats why 32billion paddies live stateside...

    Why did the rest of the world cross the road?


    Cos we fucking told it to...



    USA USA USA USA USA!

    WHOOOOP WHOOOOP WHOOOP!

    ReplyDelete
  165. Wow its fun being an american , i get to be a complete prick, which is normal, but with out the short fallings of being english!

    ReplyDelete
  166. Plus you can eat KFC for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

    Hey, this sounds good. Where do I sign up?

    ReplyDelete
  167. fuck yeah man, being american rocks... KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA KFC USA!

    ReplyDelete
  168. From Joe Cole:
    "I have played in London all my life. I could have stayed at Chelsea because the fans loved me and I won things, but I wanted to challenge myself and when I knew Liverpool were interested it was a no-brainer because they are the biggest club in the country."
    -----
    A no-brainer is spot on.

    ReplyDelete
  169. right withthst i a off for me lunches (note plural now i am a yank!)

    ReplyDelete
  170. we the people of ALpha Centauri FC spit on your pathetic delusions.

    prepare to die.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp believes his side are capable of building on qualifying for the Champions League by winning the Premier League title.
    Full story: Sun
    Redknapp also claims it is only a matter of time before Manchester City's spending bags them the Premier League crown and that, if he could bring in four players of his choice, he would win the league.
    Full story: Daily Express
    -----
    Make your mind up 'Arry, you gonna win it or not?

    New song for the terraces, to the tune of Electric Avenue (Eddy Grant)

    We're gonna rock down to the Inland Revenue
    And tell on Harry Redknapp.

    ReplyDelete
  172. ALpha Centauri FC are not what they used to be, they failed to win the intergalactic orb last year and I think the best they can hope for is a good run in the Johnsons Warp Engine Cup.

    ReplyDelete
  173. Manchester United's new signing Javier Hernandez, who scored twice playing up front for Mexico at the World Cup, will have the name Chicharito - which means little pea - adorn his shirt next season.

    -------------------

    WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

    Can't it just say Hernandez to make life easier for everyone

    ReplyDelete
  174. Best piece of the day;

    Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini insists the club will play the waiting game rather than pay over the odds in their pursuit of players...

    ReplyDelete
  175. H2 they are waiting on another £500 million being wired from Abooo Daaaabi to pay for whatever English player has managed to kick a ball straight this week.

    ReplyDelete
  176. Maybe this American thing isn't a good idea

    Apparently this is the New Jersey look. Doesn't Trotter live in Jersey? Trotts, do you look like this now?

    ReplyDelete
  177. "Can't it just say Hernandez to make life easier for everyone"
    ----
    Might be a bit confusing for the not so bright Utd fans (approx 98.7%) Adam.
    They'd probably think Hern and Dez were two seperate players like Fab and Rafa.

    ReplyDelete