Robbo 10: W**kin Frankel - Click On My Face To Listen!

Thursday, 27 May 2010

England Half-Expects

It’s World Cup time and I’m getting the usual heady mixture of hope, fear and nausea.

The nausea comes from the fact that chumps up and down the country are draping flags from the windows of homes and pubs and sticking twatty flags on their motors like they’re leading some cavalcade for the visit of some no-mark dignitary or other.

I’d drape a couple of St. Georges outside my terraced des res were it not for the fact that some wall-eyed Neanderthal might tap on me door to tell me where the next UKIP or BNP meeting is going to be held.

At least Gordon Brown doesn’t have to feign some sort of allegiance to the England football team now. I’m not saying he was faking it but I do reckon that any Scot worth his salt would be lining his home with Stars n Stripes memorabilia, buying obscure Algerian couscous and a drop of Slovenian chardonnay in the fridge. We don’t mind, either.

If I might paraphrase the Zombies, if you’re after finding a Scot in Jo’burg this summer ‘Don’t bother trying to find him. He’s not there!’

Not that this flag indifference has stopped me yelling at the box already. This is where the fear came in. While the dinky Mexicans were playing piggy-in-the-middle with England on Monday, and our midfield pitched and reeled like they’d got Mescal in their mineral water, I was barking like a skinhead’s pitbull.

‘Get tight!’ ‘Close the bastard down!’ and, more often than not, ‘Oh for f***’s sake, Carrick!’

Tony Thompson had to remind me it was a meaningless friendly. He was right. If I’m like this during an utterly inconsequential 90 minutes what the hell am I going to be like when Clint Dempsey is floating around in the gaping hole left by Michael Carrick’s presence?

I wouldn’t take Carrick. Not now. If there’s a knock on your door and there’s nobody there, it’ll be Michael Bleeding Carrick. No wonder Barry’s been given all the time in the world to prove he’s up to it. Hargreaves’ minute on the pitch at the end of the season looks better by the nanosecond.

Fear comes from the various as yet unresolved questions in Capello’s squad. I’d say there’s still four issues remaining:

1. Who replaces Barry? Looks like we’re down to Parker. Yes m’laydee.

2. Wide left. Gerrard has all the discipline of a sink school when it comes to defensive duties out there. Them that argue for Gerrard to play behind Rooney in a 4-4-1-1 are in doolally land. Wazza drops off and bumps into his Scouse buddy and neither of them have anyone to pass to. Chaos.

Given his form, I’d be tempted to tell Stevie to sit it out if he can’t help his left-back. Baines looked like a hamster trying to stop a buffalo stampede. He couldn’t have been more exposed had the Mexican right winger been working the Mail on Sunday.

So who? Milner can seal it up there. But Ashley Cole’s return might make Gerrard’s job a little easier. So leave him there and bring Milner on if you need it tighter and Johnson on if you need some trickery.

3. Wide right. Walcott. They call him an enigma but there’s nowt enigmatic about him. He can burn people off for fun, but once he gets into that space he’s about as accurate as a paper bloody aeroplane.

I know Hansen talks about pace like it’s as life-threatening as an earth-bound meteorite, but pace without direction is effing pointless and Walcott is a Ferrari with the steering-lock on. Lennon provides just as much shit-off-a-shovel speed and has a bit more nous when he gets there. Book your place on the sofa Theo.

4. Who plays with Rooney? Apparently Kai’s not available as the little darling is already having his first back-wax on June 12th.

So here’s where we toss the coin and hope. Heskey gives Rooney the freedom he needs but sooner or later international defenders are going to realise if they just let Emile have the freedom of Africa they’re safe as houses.

Crouchy is, well Crouchy. He keeps scoring against not very good teams – and let’s face it out first three opponents are not that good.

Defoe is a greedy little git but at times that’s what you need.

So it may well be the case that Capello selects according to the opposition. Mexico were after all a team of chihuachuas compared to the leggy lurcher that is Crouch. But if Slovenia field a team of Zigics then maybe Defoe will be more of a distraction. Hmmmm....

So here’s Cap’s first XI v USA (not mine necessarily, although they’d all make me squad).

Green (given a great performance on Monday) Johnson, A. Cole, Terry, Ferdinand, Parker, Lampard, Lennon, Rooney, Heskey, Gerrard.

And here’s the rest of the squad. (Yeah I know it keeps changing but I and every other pub bore in the bloody country have been as changeable of mind as a lass picking her wedding bouquet and that’s not going to change so back off, slaggers).
James, Hart; Carragher (reluctantly), King, Warnock (Baines has blown it after his pat-a-cake goal-line clearance), Dawson; Barry, Milner, Adam Johnson, Joe Cole; Defoe, Crouch.

Carrick and Huddlestone drift out of matches like plastic bags on a spring tide. Upson has looked as comfortable as a stork wading through a BP oil-slick this year and Bent has had a great season I just don’t reckon on him.

Ardent Theophiles and Bentists I await your crude and puddle-deep arguments with interest.

Oh and if Rooney is struggling to cope with injuries – as has been suggested in some quarters I want Ferguson on the Beeb to explain why he’s run the pug-faced genius into the ground like a bloody dog. Shame on him. Mind, he is Scottish so I doubt he'd give a toss?

957 comments:

  1. First:

    On my previous blog some pig-ignorant twerp wrote that they were going to threaten Lewis Wiltshire and his kids if Robbo didn't return to the Beeb.
    If this is meant to be funny - it isn't. Pack it in. I'm not saying I'm happy about not doing the Beeb thing anymore but I'm even less happy with that sort of crap.
    Lewis is quite prepared to take the fall-out from his decision on the chin - it's part of his job after all - but don't start threats like that are bang out of order and not welcome on here. Ta.

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  2. First non robbo reader! 1 post ever

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  3. I agree with you about Walcott/Lennon, but there's just no way Capello will leave Walcott at home. He's still dazzled by that hat-trick. I'll be miffed, however, if Walcott goes and Adam Johnson stays at home.

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  4. Afternoon Bo, yes mate Ive managed to sort my links out!!

    The women love the smell of links!

    Erm, oh, er wrong kind. Hhmmmmm!!!

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  5. Change Heskey for Crouch and I agree with the first team... leave Carragher, Baines and Gerrard behind along with Carrick... bring in the tree trunks to replace them for what good they were against Mexico.

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  6. #1 spot on, robbo, whoever it was i suggest you do one. without moderators over here it measn you can say what you want but we've GOT to keep it within the limitations of the world of reasonable adults. if this place degenerates to youtube, then there wont be a this place.

    responsibility please.

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  7. Said comment has been deleted btw. Don't want to come across all moderator-in-chief again. You hear me!?

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  8. hear hear robbo.

    and will you lot of cunts stop swaering. theres no fucking need.

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  9. Robbo

    Really good blog, some laugh out loud moments - that got some people looking up from across the office.

    Agreed about Gerrard.....he does my head in. So good going forward but could give a toss about keeping a position when defending. Was watching him amble across to "close down" the mexican right back.

    Also agreed about Carrick. Has been out of form for us, so shouldnt be in the squad let alone the starting 11.

    Saying all that.....i trust Capello more than any England manager before him.

    I would take Adam Johnson/Johnstone. The lad has a trick, is quick enough, puts in a decent ball from either side of the pitch and seems to have no fear. Thank feck that the days are gone where mcmanaman gets the ball runs 40 yards and passes it back to the full back.

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  10. I agree Robbo, I saw the comment before it was deleted.. I think it was someone being a bit over zealous rather than meaning any actual harm.

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  11. mind you, robbo, Lewis should have had the decency to explain his decision in non-corporate pat-hoi- polloi-on-the-head-they'll-go-away-speke, as a few of us pointed out on his editors blog.

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  12. Who was it Bo, any idea?

    Name and shame I say!!

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  13. I agree Blog... the amount of fucking swearing that goes on here... it's like graffiti on a shithouse wall.

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  14. FFS blog I was about to type and I read that and now I'm laughing too much!

    I predict that Robbo will have turned into McNulty within 3 weeks of this. Pre-moderation here we come :)

    So is this as your number 1 fan and stalker all I have to look forward to for the next few weeks? Bloody England nonsense?!

    Ah well at least it will only be until whenever week 2 of the WC is and they are on their way home.

    Then it'll be 14 weeks of Capello is a twat and random scapegoat should be exported to Sudan nonsense.

    In fact I think this is the only interesting thing an Irishman has to look forward to this coming WC...

    Who will be the England scapegoat when it all goes tits up?

    Well that and Thierry Henry getting his cheating cunt of a left arm broken!

    Ooops, sorry, no violence. But c'mon you lot have to admit you'd twat him one too.

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  15. No comment Ngog... it was a regular is all I'll say mate.

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  16. Indie said...

    Starfire said...
    jacksofbuxton said...

    Argentina coach Diego Maradona has promised to run naked in the centre of Buenos Aires if his team win the World Cup in South Africa. (The Times)
    __________________
    Go Spain,Germany,Brazil.....

    ------------------------------

    Even France .... just don't let him do that!!!!
    ------------------------------------------

    Especially France, unless the person who has Germany on Baggie Mike's sweepstake wants to swap with me, as I support Germany. Remember we've just lost our talismanic captain to injury. Go on.

    ---------------------------

    Oddly, I'm the one who drew Germany Indie, quite happy to keep them too given I go away at the weekend and pretend to be a German in an 1800's Artillery group.

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  17. Robbo, if reading you here instead of at the Beeb means you can get your points across with the odd 'shit' or 'bollocks', it's a step up to my mind.

    But Scotty Parker looking after the midfield? Behave mate...

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  18. Ben, he cant be any worse than Carrick... At least he'll give 120 percent every game.

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  19. He didn't do anything to me personally Bo.

    Well actually, hang on, now that I think about it he did steal that model one night when I was chatting her up.

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  20. Robbo,

    Agree about carrick going, he hasnt been anything good this season. Its surprising that some players expect a given right to be in the team such as Hargreaves, as seen from his comments about SAF telling capello not to take him.
    Stark difference between him and joe cole for example, and I would take joe all day since he is working his ass off to get into the chelsea/england squad after his injury.

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  21. Was that your first dream that night or your second Gaz?

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  22. @ #1

    Blimey ... even I'm not dumb enough to do that ... and I'm an idiot.

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  23. Easy Robbo man,

    I will admit to being a little worried about you taking the blog in a new direction with the shackles of bbc oppression being shaken off... but it was classic robbo. And a pleaseure as ever to read mate... now i am vaguely tryign to do this sort of thing, i must say i have a real respect for doing what you do in such a manner... hats off sir.

    As for the first post, thats a bit Beyond the Pale even for us lot... it all went a bit lord of the flies for a while. I expect who ever it was to go and put themselves on the naughty step for 12 minutes...

    http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/05/pilosophers-woes-robbo-story.html

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  24. Who was it???

    my money is on ruthless mouthnoise!

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  25. Ruthless mouthnoise... I didn't know she was registered here... where is she then RBA?

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  26. Everywhere and no where BO... everywhere and no where!!!!


    Oh no, thier she is...

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  27. I'd take Gerrard and play him at right back, atleast he would know what his defensive duties were, and maybe he could ping a few up to Heskey.

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  28. or there she is...

    is thier like thier they're there chart i can print out???

    Spellings ay! What they need is abook that has all the words in spelt proper... although i imagine the problem with that is, if you dont know how to spell a word you'll never find it...

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  29. Where I work there is a person of the female variety that "Ruthless Mouthnoise" describes very well mate... I thought that maybe she had followed me here.

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  30. They have such a book mate... it's called a dictionary.

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  31. Ah, so you have an imaginary nemesis to you with your imaginary work Bo. :P

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  32. What... but how are people who dont know how to spell the word meant to find what they are looking for??? It seems flawed to me, it'll never take off...

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  33. Ffs stop yelling at me to press buttons!!!

    I'll go off on a craze and press every button I see until I hit a big red shiny one and BOOM! We'll need to find a replacement for Trident.

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  34. You have it Star... I thought I imagined her here but it was only RBA's imagination.

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  35. I see what you are getting at RBA... and I must say I agree with you... the book is pointless.

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  36. in fairness star i said dont touch the button...

    bo, who said the thing what is at first on this... gimme a clue...

    Oh and if you dont know who ruthless mouthnoise is, thanks for not reading my new blog! hahahaha...

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  37. Liking the blog Robbo, RBA's isn't too shabby either :) Not too sure about taking Heskey, he's the same all the time i.e. not great, probably better playing 5 across the middle. Not too sure about Terry and Ferdinand playing together, they are both the same type of player and I reckon you need someone to get into the opposition is needed. What you guys reckon?

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  38. i dont have an imagination, i donated it to medical research... but with a coupl eof blog spots opening on the beeb, i may be in with a good shout of a new job...

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  39. Testing, testing....

    Your joke about Parker was a FAB 1

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  40. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  41. All I'll say is the person responsible is a regular... not a regular regular but fairly regular regular... less regular than me but more regular JDR... ok

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  42. Looking down this list of posters...

    Seen this lot somewhere before.

    It's just like dodgy views, all over again.

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  43. This one's just for star, go ahead mate :)

    http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=9644

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  44. I don't have time to read any other blogs at the moment RBA... after thursday week things should settle down a bit so I'll come calling then.

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  45. Seriously Robbo, i know its a bit late, but i gotta say - your podcast was so hilarious and bang on the money, you should really concentrate on making that your "new phase" now you're no longer doing the BBC thing.

    Its prize entertainment, like it would be if we took Heskey along and see how many different and imaginative ways he can miss shots at goal!

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  46. Zoots you old scoundral...

    welcome to the darkside, its like the light side but i can say bollocks, where as on the light side i could only speak them....

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  47. Can I just point out that Redknapp managed to win against arsenal and chelsea with a central midfield of Huddlestone and Modric doing the defending in front of the defence, and doing a bloody good job of it too.

    Now Modric is nippy and, all credit to him and Redknapp, did get his foot in to a number of tackles, but he's no defensive stalwart, so Huddlestone CAN do a job in defensive midfield.

    I don't think he deserves to start but he could be worth his place in the squad. He could be very useful for England in years to come (Gerrard and Lampard aren't going to be around for ever) so give him a chance to get some International game time now.

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  48. has JDR visited here yet?

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  49. BojanglesOfOz said...
    All I'll say is the person responsible is a regular... not a regular regular but fairly regular regular... less regular than me but more regular JDR... ok
    _______________________

    I cant belive Jacks would say that, very out of charcter...


    no worry my blogs a load of garbled quasi thoughts i force out of thought box through my eyes, then they run over my keyboard creating havoc... long story short, its a load of old shit.

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  50. which means that on the light side we never knew you were speaking bollocks mate... well some of us didn't.

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  51. Green
    Johnson,Terry,Ferdinand,Cole A
    Parker
    Lennon,Lampard,Cole J
    Rooney
    Heskey.
    Fire away.....

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  52. RBA

    I once overheard a conversation on a bus. Two elegant young ladies were declaring their disgust at the products of a well-known burger chain. One declared in horror, "They put cows' testicles in them."

    Now, THAT's talking bollocks.

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  53. As I said earlier Jack... replace Heskey with Crouch and I'm with you mate.

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  54. oh you knew it, you just couldn't say it... that is why here is so great, you can call a load bollocks a load of bollocks, not a load of spunk redistribution implements...

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  55. I have a question for you all.

    Why does no one want to pick Hart? Had a couple of outstanding seasons in goal for Man Citeh and Birmingham.

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  56. Udder bollocks, so to speak.

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  57. Top blog Robbo lad,

    Carrick has been pretty shite all season. I really wanted him to do well in SA (as a united fan) to boost his confidence for next season, but I dont think id take him after that performance! Lennon would definitely get the nod over Walcott and Heskey would be left scratchin his useless arse in the west midlands somewhere...

    rant over!

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  58. BojanglesOfOz said...

    As I said earlier Jack... replace Heskey with Crouch and I'm with you mate.
    ______________________________
    I may be the only one on here that thinks this but....
    I think Heskey brings the best out of the English forward line.I like Crouch,but feel he'd be better as an impact sub.

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  59. Matty, i know a few people who say give hart a call up, i'm pne of then i think the lads tops... but the nay sayers are nay saying he is too young, not enough experience... bit of a catch 22 if you ask me... A major major fault...

    (i did a book joke, and it wasn't referencing the gruffalo... highr brow or what!)

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  60. Fair enough Jack... I just think a striker needs to score goals... with Heskey I just feel we have ten men and a head.

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  61. Great stuff Robbo, never missed a beat!

    I'd be worried about taking Parker as JT will be banging Lady Penelope before the Algeria (my other team) match and risk getting one of her strings wrapped around his neck, thereby causing career threatening injury.

    If Scholes had said "yes" to Capello, we wouldn't need to contemplate Carrick. It's a good jobe we're gonna win whoever he takes!

    Thunderbirds are Go!

    Go Thunderbirds!

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  62. Fair doo's RBA, I still reckon he should be number one. I see what you say if he makes a mistake then he's tarnished for his career like seamans overhead disaster against brazil in 2002.

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  63. Ok people I am out of here. Type to y'all later.

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  64. RBA - "spunk redistribution implements" - doublechuckle!

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  65. Nah i agree matty mate... baptism of fire and all that, come the hour coemth the keeper as it were, drop him in the deep end... and other cliches aswell. If it were me i personaly think that hart would have been a gamble worth taking... surely by the time euro 2012 (what olypics) comes around he'l be first choice wont he.

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  66. Lady P and JT... John Tracy? - he's the poor pillock stuck up on Thunderbird 5 twiddling a few knobs and probably going bat-blind over a stack of Playboys. Not much else for the poor lad to do.

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  67. that's why his eyes are popping out of his head and that's what'll happen to the other JT if he gets any ideas!

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  68. Robbo,
    Baggie Mike has asked if you can remove the adult tag so that he,and others with work barring internet access,can read your blog?

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  69. no, you're right again...John was in T5. I now have to refamiliarise myself with the entire cast! Fuck.

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  70. Parker (Lady Penelopes chauffeur with a background)
    Lady Penelope (London Office)
    Alan Tracy (Thunderbird 3)
    Scott Tracy (Thunderbird 1)
    Jeff Tracy (Headquarters at Tracey Island)
    Tin Tin (Maintenance of technical equipment)
    Gordon Tracy (Thunderbird 4)
    Brains (Engineer)
    Virgil Tracy (Thunderbird 2)
    John Tracy (Thunderbird 5)
    You can also listen to the Thunderbirds Theme if you have the proper hard and software.

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  71. GazUtd. Nah, I won't be going on and on about nothing but England from here til July - well hopefully that long. I mean there's all them other important sports to talk about... I believe there's a shove ha'penny international coming up in Osmotherley... and I'll be reporting on the progress of our synchro swim hopefuls for 2012 (can they find a nose-clip to match their mascara?!!)... or NOT.

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  72. Justin Timberlake?
    John Travolta?

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  73. Robbo w/ a human face/voice? where's the shady Uncle cartoon mustache/trenchcoat combo?

    this is all too real... heading for the safety of McNumpty land where the porridge is never too hot or too cold!

    seriously, though - congrats Robbo, and i dig the podcast! the England chat bores me a bit (where are you, 11 June?!), so let's get to more pressing matters like Venus' nude suit (gag)...

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  74. http://www.ludd.luth.se/~kavli/Thunderbirds/tbirds08.jpg

    Looks a bit like Fabio

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  75. Jacks... could take it off but I reckon we'll have to rein it in a bit. AGREED???

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  76. i liked terrahawks... scared the shit out of me as a nipper... though when i re watched it i couldn't get over how funny the chinese lad who always says "exackery" was...

    i didn't like thunderbirds... only cos i have comitment issues and wanted a show with no strings attached....

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  77. Robbo,I've no problem with that.I'd like to think the novelty of swearing will soon pass...

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  78. RedBlueArmy92 said...

    i didn't like thunderbirds... only cos i have comitment issues and wanted a show with no strings attached....
    -------------------
    Tut tut tut.

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  79. The Tees Mouth said...
    Jacks... could take it off but I reckon we'll have to rein it in a bit. AGREED???
    -------------------------------------------

    To be honest Robbo, the "Adult" tag for swearing is a load of spunk redistribution implements anyway. All kids know more swear words than you could possibly dream of.

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  80. turn it off. We want as many people as possible to be able to comment, dont we?

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  81. No more swearing for fuck sake lads!!!

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  82. we can just swear on RBA's blog.....

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  83. Good blog Robbo. I would drop either Stevie or fat Frank and leave the other in the middle with either Barry (please) or Parker (if not).

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  84. turn it off, collect everyone's credit card information and start a swear box.

    ReplyDelete
  85. yeah come and swear on my piece of shit cuntsblog...

    it'll be fucking brill... and as i am scum meself i wont mind, plus more peple being denied access to me blog can only be of benfit to the country,

    ReplyDelete
  86. TrotterUSA said...

    turn it off, collect everyone's credit card information and start a swear box.
    _____________________
    Is that the real Trotter,or an imposter in Nigeria looking to fleece us all.All those long years of hard work blogging away,build up the confidence of your "marks"(no pun intended)and then BANG.Credit card details here we come....

    ReplyDelete
  87. Trotts, i have been trying to get credit card deatils of all the posters on here for ages, it aint easy...

    Nigerian Viagra anyone???

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  88. nooo Jacks, they have to send the credit card info to you as you probably already have the processing facilities and would be a worthy guardian of the virtual swear box. When you've got a million quid, it should be used for a weekend at the Dungheap!

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  89. When you've got a million quid, it should be used for a weekend at the Dungheap!
    ____________________
    Probably get there by tomorrow afternoon....

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  90. no coz Hman will coax me in to swearing for his own gain... plus i got tourttes...

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  91. A swearbox eh? Robbo would have enough money to buy the Beeb and make himself Chief Sport's Writer come the end of the week between us.

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  92. RBA,we've got a dog,2 cats,rabbit.guinea pig,hamsters,mice and fish(cold water as well as tropical)but no tortoise.Are they easy to keep?

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  93. Jacks, that's a bloody zoo! Tortoises are easy, just paint your address on the shell and you'll have 30 years of trouble free companionship.

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  94. Jacks... thought you might poke your head out and say something! they are great pets, they make excelent emergency crash helmets in the event of an earth quake or bike ride.

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  95. Hey Robbo, you just had to be first ey. Nice......
    But anyways, I actually got scared when i read those threats there. You don't wanna bang your bridges by the way. So yea, as much as i hate the mods for keeping me typewriter tight.........

    Well, where was I? oh. JT has got to be this guys here, and apparently Craig Bellamy is their coach!!!

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  96. Oh I forgot. . . . .
    J.T. Quensland is the team coached by Craig Bellamy

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  97. Baggie Mikes world cup sweep standings.
    3 countries left...
    Latest group standings:-

    A
    France - Indra
    Mexico - Taffy
    South Africa - LABSAB9
    Uruguay - dstewart20
    B
    Argentina - Robbo
    Greece - Colch
    Nigeria - 59th Street
    South Korea - Denisthegenius
    C
    Algeria - Trotter
    England - STGP
    Slovenia - H2H
    USA - Neutral Bystander
    D
    Australia - Blog
    Germany - Star
    Ghana
    Serbia - Gaz
    E
    Cameroon - Southern Fairy
    Denmark - SS11
    Netherlands - Evil-Weazel
    Japan - RBA
    F
    Italy - Ngog
    New Zealand - FBH
    Paraguay - Bluehellsbells
    Slovakia - Monk
    G
    Brazil - Cheshire BB
    Ivory Coast
    North Korea - Spit
    Portugal - Baggie Mike
    H
    Chile - Jacks
    Honduras - Tone
    Spain
    Switzerland - AdamPSB

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  98. Three good teams left.
    Spain, Ivory Coast and Ghana.

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  99. if crazy Kim-Jong nukes South Korea, can i have Irie-land?

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  100. 4 - Ghana
    14 - Spain
    30 - Ivory Coast.

    Just in case anyone wants Spain.

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  101. Denis,no hand outs on here...

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  102. I used to be a lurker on the blog, if there are any numbers left once the regulars have theirs' can I get in on the act?

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  103. Yo Starfire, wanna trade with me? I support Germany and I know how you love the League of Cheating Weasels (who have Henry as their Chief Handmaiden).

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  104. england have a great midfield
    was carrick that bad? i didnt see the game, but i remember carrick been a decent player
    walcot just needs good coaching and be calm in the head, i think he can be englands biggest weapon
    wouldnt want him against holland, left back is our biggest worry:)
    got any favourites robbo?

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  105. I fancied a chinese takeaway last night, so I phoned Kings China Buffet, the guy answered and said "Herro, I'm Wan King the Cook", I said " Oh sorry I'll call back later!"

    ReplyDelete
  106. don't eff with me, Spit Jong-ill - i've got Hillary & Barack behind me!

    oh wait, i'm screwed.

    ReplyDelete
  107. Robbo - gordon brown wont have to feign allegiance but we'll have the grisly spectacle of Dec Cameron and Ant Clegg pretending they know what football is. mind you i laughed when blair cliamed to have watched jackie milburn who dies 5 years before he was born or summat.

    At the other end of the class spectrum, why am i haunted by that image of Rooney with the big ginger beard emerging from a trailer? why does that seem so authentic?

    ReplyDelete
  108. Matty said...
    I have a question for you all.

    Why does no one want to pick Hart? Had a couple of outstanding seasons in goal for Man Citeh and Birmingham.

    ---
    I'd take him in a Hartbeat, easily Englands best keeper.

    ReplyDelete
  109. Transfer Speculation around at Man City, apparently Manchini is after bringing in a new face. Tevez and Lescott are fighting it out for it.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Matty said...
    I have a question for you all.

    Why does no one want to pick Hart? Had a couple of outstanding seasons in goal for Man Citeh and Birmingham.

    ---
    I'd take him in a Hartbeat, easily Englands best keeper.

    ====================

    No pun intended??

    ReplyDelete
  111. you can eat like a horse for £5 in my local takeaway. if you want to eat like a human it costs more.

    south korean takeaways prove that a dog isnt just for christmas

    ReplyDelete
  112. Live from da Dungheap!!

    Good start Robbo son, just like the old gaff, it feels like home already.

    If it means we can get more of the regulars and lurkers over, I agree that we should "rein it in". I've got no f-ing problem with that.

    ReplyDelete
  113. matty - thats why santa cruz cant get into the team - hes not ugly enough. that is one ugly team.

    ReplyDelete
  114. I can't believe we cant find a better partner for wazza than Heskey. Heskey shouldn’t even be in the 30 never mind in the 23. Heskey out of squad replaced by Crouch.

    Daren if fit should go. He would be my choice as replacement for Rooney if he gets injured.

    I would not play Gerard and Lampard in the same team. Gerard out of starting 11 Joe Cole in.

    Theo should go. Pace to frighten any team.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Top tip.

    NEVER ask for a doggy bag in a S korean resteraunt.

    ReplyDelete
  116. If they signed Ribery they would have had to play in balaclavas!

    ReplyDelete
  117. Holloway2Holland said...

    Top tip.

    NEVER ask for a doggy bag in a S korean resteraunt.
    ________________
    Top Tip number 2

    NEVER ask Stan Collymore for a doggy bag

    ReplyDelete
  118. south koreans think tortoises are crusty pies on legs

    i was on a kibbutz with a bunch of them. theyre really nice people. but very very scared of the North.

    and they really do think tortoises are pies on legs, im not kidding. snakes are sausage rolls without legs. birds are birds with legs and fish are birds without wings.

    ReplyDelete
  119. WAIT!!! Robbo called me "GazUtd" earlier instead of either just "Gaz" or "You fucking twat"

    The REAL Robbo would have never done that.

    Are we all victims of a massive conspiracy where JDR has killed Robbo, sent a resignation letter to the Beeb and started this blog?

    ReplyDelete
  120. anyone see the worst england team ever on tv last night. well funny. john terry was captain for being who he is. all the others were there on demerit

    ReplyDelete
  121. Regarding the Theo question;

    I saw him play one decent game for Arsenal this season and a few flashes of skill nothing more. Yes he can run fast, but that seems to be the only trick in his bag (or is it a cul de sac(k)?)

    If it's between him and Lennon, I'd take Aaron.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Maybe this is the on line follow up to "Ashes to Ashes"....

    ReplyDelete
  123. Shit! I keep forgetting. Click HERE

    ReplyDelete
  124. LOVE when the English insult other cuisines!

    wow - i'm growing attached to my adopt-a-team already. (woof.)

    ReplyDelete
  125. Gaz, theres a CampingGaz who comes on here sometimes with his caravanning stories, robbo was just differentiating

    ReplyDelete
  126. Plus there is the Russian energy expert Gazprom..

    ReplyDelete
  127. "genius" theres no need to get all precious about international cuisine jokes. other people are there to be laughed at. thats what youre here for. for me to laugh at.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Jose wants to take St. Steven and Fat Frank to Real.

    ""I like players in the final part of their careers", he told some lazy journo.

    GREAT, can he take cunting Gary Neville off our hands as well then.

    ReplyDelete
  129. Yeah blog I saw some of it, the first bit about Fash had me in stitches!

    ReplyDelete
  130. Thanks for that Bloggggggy

    Also thanks for taking over my 'bashing Denis' position.

    Denis wanted it to be a different kind of bashing but I said no. He wouldn't cuddle afterwards.

    ReplyDelete
  131. No it's still me. Robbo. Mind you, your last comment was tedious and predictable in the extreme. Same old Gaz. If that is your name. Perhaps if you did one comment a week it might give you chance to refine your responses and tackle real issues rather than relying on the same old tired second rate stand-up routines.
    Shudder... almost felt like ol' JDR was inside my head for a mo.

    ReplyDelete
  132. I'd take Nat Lofthouse before Heskey. 30 goals in 33 games for England and he keeps getting overlooked. It's an outrage.

    Matty, did you get a team yet? Don't be too polite, just scream a number at Baggie Mike whenever he shows up and you'll probably be in like Flynn.

    ReplyDelete
  133. And so the flame wars continue ...

    ReplyDelete
  134. By the way, the Content Warning's off now so maybe ease off a bit of the Anglo-Saxon. (What I mean is, just use more f***ing asterisks)...

    Waits for asterisk overkill....

    ReplyDelete
  135. red soul - Fash - anu! very funny. quite a few of those guys had zero control of a football. carlton palmer! haha.

    i didnt quite understand the programme because they kept saying well what about Brian Robson should he be in our Worst Team ever, perhaps not because he was the Best Captain Ever so perhaps he's not Bad Enough.

    they have some funny people at the bbc but the editors are twats

    ReplyDelete
  136. ****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

    yep childish i no

    ReplyDelete
  137. there's a developing market for keyboards that have a big asterisk button next to the space bar.

    ReplyDelete
  138. DEATH TO ASTERIX!!!!!!



































    Oh wait, he didn't mean him .... disregard.

    ReplyDelete
  139. and furthermore ****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

    ReplyDelete
  140. bloggybloggydoo - thought the "woof" indicated i wasn't really offended, plus the fact that i'm not Korean, hence the adopt... oh, whatever.

    defensive of your English cuisine at all?

    ReplyDelete
  141. I did seem to stray completely off theme from time to time but from what I saw it is a miracle some of those players could be so bad at international level.

    ReplyDelete
  142. F*** B*****S B***S*** Yup asterik keys working gurd. I reckon numbers wise 1/3 of picking the winner 4/14/30...

    Lucky Numbers people?
    Star, did you manage to click that button into submission?

    ReplyDelete
  143. RedSoul said...
    I did seem to stray completely off theme from time to time but from what I saw it is a miracle some of those players could be so bad at international level.
    ------------------------
    It seemed to stray.

    ReplyDelete
  144. gaz - i dint know you had a problem with denisthepenis, how could that situation emerge, that someone doesn't get on with denisthepenis, he's a top blog character, lovely guy and not sneakily abusive well hardly ever! and he's here for the fun, to be laughed at! lovely guy.

    ReplyDelete
  145. Gaz - you can drop the hard-to-get act... everyone knows we've been an item for some time now, my little limerick-loving lad!

    ReplyDelete
  146. just kidding, i'm not Gaelic.

    ReplyDelete
  147. DenistheGenius said...
    bloggybloggydoo - thought the "woof" indicated i wasn't really offended, plus the fact that i'm not Korean, hence the adopt... oh, whatever.

    defensive of your English cuisine at all?

    ----------

    hahahhahhahahahhahahhahahahhahha!

    good one, den

    hahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  148. DenistheGenius said...
    Gaz - you can drop the hard-to-get act... everyone knows we've been an item for some time now, my little limerick-loving lad!

    27 May 2010 16:20
    DenistheGenius said...
    just kidding, i'm not

    -------------

    hahahhahahahahahah! stop it youre killing me!

    hahahhahahahahahhahahah!

    "just kidding Im not!!!!" ahahahhahahahha

    too much!

    ReplyDelete
  149. Head. Wall. Bang, bang, bang!

    ReplyDelete
  150. F**cking Asterix!

    the least popular comic in the series, followed by Obelix has a saw knob...


    afternoon...

    ReplyDelete
  151. I liked "Asterix pretends teh french beat the Romans."

    ReplyDelete
  152. GazUtd said...
    Head. Wall. Bang, bang, bang!

    oh, come clean Gaz - you know you had a chuckle at that one!

    ReplyDelete
  153. That was directed at Robbo, Denis.


    Stop thinking it's all about you. You know that was the problem in the past.

    ReplyDelete
  154. great film, spinal tap, denis

    ReplyDelete
  155. Whey I have a reason to support USA now tho they will no doubt go out to Germany if things go the way i have predicted.

    Great Blog Robbo

    "Walcott is a Ferrari with the steering-lock on"
    Made me laugh..... in a completely neutral way

    ReplyDelete
  156. robbo, any chance the blog could be laid out so it looks like a word document? It would make it much easier for me to read/post without getting in to trouble in my office.

    ReplyDelete
  157. oops, lovers tiff...(tiptoes out)...

    ReplyDelete
  158. By the way do you all know Germany won 24-0 last night?

    Typical!

    ReplyDelete
  159. hello NB, your yankee boys are in for a beating on 12th June.......too early?

    ReplyDelete
  160. I dare say that wouldn't be the first time you've had to tiptoe out while lovers were having a tiff Blogggg?

    Usually from the wardrobe you scoundrel!

    ReplyDelete
  161. Good evening fellas!

    New blog. New day has come.
    Catching up with some posts.

    ReplyDelete
  162. Yep they will no doubt lose but i think second in the group is respectable tho I doubt they will achieve any more than that. Just proves Yankee money cant win you everything, well it doesnt prove that cause they could win the WC but very much doubted.

    Am I still talking?

    Better climb back onto my fence

    ReplyDelete
  163. Right'o, I have to go and pay a woman 70 quid to massage me for relief.




    No, not like that FFS, it's a chiropractor.

    ReplyDelete
  164. GazUtd said...
    That was directed at Robbo, Denis.


    Stop thinking it's all about you. You know that was the problem in the past.
    -----------------------

    how dare you bring up Ibiza? you can be so hurtful ;(

    ReplyDelete
  165. Robbo, I think Theo should go to WC. I dont understand the negativity behind the team selection. They did win 3-1 however unconvincing it was. I think they will peak at the right time as tournament progresses....



    My only concern can England win a Penalty shootout?

    ReplyDelete
  166. that was me in blue velvet, gaz

    ReplyDelete
  167. of course we can... but inly in a wierd situation where we had to play ourselves in a penalty shoot out, it would take infintity but when a winner did emerge the universe would implode and we'd all turn back in to single celled beings... So real progress for John Terry.

    ReplyDelete
  168. england could win a penalty shootout but only in the alternative reality in which port vale are european champiosn, gordpn brown is a circus clown and koreans treat dogs as pets not abrakebabmeat

    ReplyDelete
  169. http://aldershotwoes.blogspot.com/2010/05/pilosophers-woes-robbo-story.html

    i would read it if i were you!

    ReplyDelete
  170. If that happened RBA, John Terry and Cashley would also end up shagging and the offspring would look like joe cole.

    ReplyDelete
  171. And heskey might actually have some balance...

    ReplyDelete
  172. alright reds, one step at a time lad... (which is what heskey really needs to focus on!)

    ReplyDelete
  173. Baggie Mike sends his hellos....
    Alright Folks,

    Due to Robbo's gracious decision to remove his adult tag I am returned and can read all this and everything (well not post I still have to do that by proxy/Jacks), just thought id pop my head in, enjoyed the read, was meant to be catching up on work after a meeting but the lure of a blog was too tempting.

    Laters

    ReplyDelete
  174. This is a direct message from Spits.
    Robbo,can you look into this please....
    CallMeSpits: Jacks. Quick warnining to Robbo plz. Adult warning is must coz site hosted in US. Google will shut it down if complained. Act ASAP.

    ReplyDelete
  175. Ey up. Dilemma. Do we tone down the lewdness and leave the adult warning off (and not get closed down by Yankee Google dandies) or keep it on and stop work-shy lazy types from logging at work. I, incredibly, vote for the former.

    ReplyDelete
  176. i say we speak only in binary, that way we're clear until they start employing droids as moderators.... oh, wait.

    ReplyDelete
  177. Robbo,I'd like to think we can adhere to your first suggestion.The very first time if/when the blog steps over the mark then pull the pin and put the adult content on again.

    ReplyDelete
  178. i vote we start to post i russian. americans cant speak foreign languages in other words Очень образом раздутое на код, этого несложно на что, вы сразу применимы так. Вы не работник программе, того убегай отдавали нет но, они ну кровью оркестра собственный. Человек сомнений безответственный код за, то этого пообедать систематизированный всю.

    ReplyDelete
  179. Can we make our own swear words up, ala Red Dwarf etc. I have always liked the word flange and thats not made up but has certain connotations

    ReplyDelete
  180. well i have arrived somewhat late but that cant be helped.

    hello all.

    this bloggin lark takes some getting used to.

    ReplyDelete