Monday 19 May 2014

Arsene's Back (Sort Of)

I saw a programme the other day about wasps and was dead taken by their nests: beautiful, ornate, sturdy-looking but paper-thin. These wasps have built the Arsenal team, I thought to meself.


Well, yes, except occasionally, when cornered, your average wasp'll sting you. And from somewhere Arsenal found enough venom to ward off Hull City on Saturday (dressed as wasps themselves to be fair) and I think everyone, barring fans of Spurs and Hull, breathed a huge sigh of relief for the manager.


Never has a manager celebrated with such fatigue. You got the impression, even as the tie came off (you flirt, Arsene!) and his squad lobbed him up and down as his furrowed face dripped with champagne, that he just wanted to go indoors and read a nice book.


He won't say it but I'm pretty sure defeat in the Cup Final would've seen Wenger chuck it all in. Who wouldn't have. Every time questions have been asked this season about his side in the big games they've been swept away in the first half-hour. So it seemed on Saturday.


Two scruffy old goals from set-pieces - the Gunners' Achilles heel. The way they deal with crosses in boxes suggests not one of them wouldn't spoil their ballot papers. (Which is a roundabout way of saying 'Vote!' on Thursday).


Steve Bruce's boy nearly made it three - and young Alex put himself about manfully to refute claims of nepotism amongst cynical viewers (me included) - and Arsenal looked for all the world like they were going to ship another couple of the game was up before it began.


Santi Cazorla - with the aid of leaden-footed keeping by Mr McGregor - got Arsenal back in to the game. Cazorla was nearer to his best than we've seen recently, although I sometimes wonder why he doesn't go down a couple of sizes in the shorts department. In them keks he looks for all the world like Casper in 'Kes'.


After that, Hull got increasingly tired of running around after the Gooners tippy-tappying midfielders and the equaliser was all too inevitable.


Even then the Wenger boys made very heavy weather of it, although the winner fitted the properly clichéd bill by being 'worthy of winning any trophy. Aaron Ramsey was brilliant all season and his form going into these last few games makes his absence mid-season all the harder to take for you Gooners.


So the wait is over, the open-top bus can plod through the streets of Highbury and the gaffer gets three more years to prove that this is a 'turning-point' for the club.


Well now... here's the thing... This is the first season in my memory where the Arsene-Wipers were drowned out by the Arsene-kickers - and I'm talking Gooners here, not the rest of us. The neutrals have always verged on supporting Wenger cos he introduced some top -notch footy to this country, and this ongoing trophylessness was a story all of its own. We liked Moyes for the same reason , although short-sighted folk like Sir Alex Ferguson couldn't spot that.


Yes, the naysayers at the Emirates were in near full cry as Wenger's 1000th game saw his team panned 6-nothing by the most goal-shy Chelsea team in a generation. And what has the le vieux professeur done to change things? Nowt.


How did he alter the course of the Cup Final. He played two up front, which meant bringing on the great galumpher Sanogo - who seems to be doing his best to make everyone at the club really miss Gervinho (and the words 'miss' and 'Gervinho' are mutually inclusive.)


That hardly made a difference and so extra time saw the gaffer replace two fiddly-diddly midfielders with two more fiddly-diddly midfielders... Wilshere and Rosicky undoubtedly made a difference, but more through fresh legs than a change of policy.


It became clear what Wenger needs if he is going to change things around in terms of the Premier League and Champions League:


1. No more midfielders, especially the lazy ones. Mesut Ozil celebrated happily with the others but the clenching of his fist was the most work the bloke did all match. Wenger's got away with playing Arteta in a holding role but he's nowhere need the defensive ballast that Flamini was early doors.


2. A striker who can run around a bit, unlike Giroud, who is a French Teddy Sheringham, all brain and no pace. Walcott will help but if these repeat qualifications for the Champs League are worth anything they ought to be worth getting a fleet-footed and proven goalscorer on the books.


3. Sagna needs replacing and Jenkinson isn't the answer. So a right-back, then. And Vermaelen - ludicrously given the job of lifting the Cup after doing eff-all but sit down - surely there are some traditions we can keep hold of? - isn't half the player he was two years ago so they'll need a top centre-half to fill in.


The signs are that he'll have oodles of cash to splash if he wants it, but it's not Wenger's way to spend for the sake of spending. We'll see.


Maybe he'll look over the sea towards Diego Simeone and think that spending big isn't always the answer. What Simeone has done there is close to miraculous. He has a wage bill the size of Fulham's so I'm told.


Everything is down to hard work and playing for each other, he reckons. He readily resorts to that oft-mocked label that the Atletico play with a 'working-class' spirit which only enamours them to every plebeian football fan across the world whose team struggles on against the twin obstacles of lack of quality and lack of pure, naked cash.


They're not too easy on the eye but easier than a re-Mourinho-ed Chelsea whose budget dwarfs Atletico's. Even without their star turns Costa and Turan they came back form a goal down against the increasingly ticky-tacky Barca. I hope they turn Real over too. Frankly it'll give us all a boost.


Vamos Cholo!


And well done Arsenal too. Now sort yourselves out and you could even win the League. Ahem.









241 comments:

  1. first brapp brapp

    ReplyDelete
  2. got tired of waiting for two other people to post so I can claim our favorite 4th spot trophy

    --BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
  3. yay, 4th! Good stuff Robbo, wtf did happen to Gervinho? Is he still selling boot laces for the head on the underground?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He's at Roma.

      One of their top scorers too.

      Shows how poo the serie A is.

      Delete
  4. Good blog Robbo. If you left it another hour or two though, you could have done Giggs too. What a legend he has been!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haven't enough people done Giggs already, Blog?

      Delete
    2. Blog? sorry Cliche, my eyes have gone.

      Delete
  5. Can't wait to see Hull take on Europe next season! Shame they'll be stretched too far to stay up.

    Seeing how accurate I was in my previous predictions, how about some more?

    Man City, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool at the top, likely in that order. West Brom, Burnley, and whoever else gets promoted to go down. Unless it is QPR, who will be inspired to sign Evo Morales (http://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-27463520) and Vladimir Putin (http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304655304579554150852969442), in which case they'll win the league.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yep, we won, hooray a trophy, Winning something is always nice, but if only to stop that "it's been so many years since..." narative that hardly anyone ever mentioned anywhere makes it all the better.

    Arsene doesn't get the credit he deserves anymore, there's still some "fans" that are trying to belittle the cup win because it was "only Hull" we beat in the final, I really can't believe those arseholes. In the build up I read comments from some who hoped we would lose because that would somehow fit their agenda that Wenger has lost the plot, it simply beggers belief.

    Is the man infalible? Ofcourse he isn't and he can be infuriating as hell, but the way in which he has kept is in the top regions of the league while we steadied the ship is nothing short of a miracle. I'm so happy he's got that cup monkey off his back, at least if he fails to win anything in his next contract it will only be three years. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gary Neville knows;

      http://vimeo.com/69360936

      Delete
  7. Congrats to the Arse. A good game that crammed all the excitement in the first 20 minutes, which meant I could snooze through the rest of it, only to wake up and see that Arse have saved my team a game or two in the qualification rounds of the Useless Cup. Good on yer... :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Arsenal haven't won fuck all for 3 days now!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Words cannot express my deep sorrow, my compassion, my commiseration with a fellow human being whose basic needs have been so cruelly neglected. Likewise, my rage at these callous club owners is boundless. Some of you may choose to ignore it, to say it's not a big deal, but you can't ignore this simple truth, my friends - Yaya Toure has not been given a Bugatti by Citeh for his birthday. One minute's silence, perfectly observed, please.

    http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/27484318

    Thank you. I'm wearing mauve for the rest of the week in support...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I too am deeply troubled, (possibly in more ways than one). I mean seriously how can a club who pays him a measly £200,000 or so a week, neglect to remember/acknowledge his birthday in a fitting manner and then not buy him this pittance of a token of their appreciation. Disgusted its not the word.

      Do you think we'd clash if I wore a sort of lilac instead of mauve?

      Delete
    2. It's preposterous, there's no love. A cynic might suggest he's angling for a move to a club that will remember his Birthday (and pay him more) but not me.

      Delete
    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    4. he says it's made up. But I don't believe any agent would ever do such a thing just for the sake of some indeterminate and undisclosed commercial self-interest.

      Delete
    5. Bells, since I'm not entirely sure what mauve is, I'm sure we'll be fine. On the off-chance, I'll just stay on this side of the Atlantic.

      Delete
    6. it's the weather - it rained on his birthday so he's taken it as a sign (also Barca may pay him more money to come back)

      Delete
  10. Perhaps Kroenke will see the celebrations and a surge in merchandising revenue to realise winning isnt bad business after all?

    Hope you lot have been well.

    Greetings from Czech Republik

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But it sets the wrong precedent for fans. They'll want to win shit all the time now. That can never be a good thing.

      Greetings from the Monroe Republic, spits.

      Delete
    2. If only we could "win shit" anytime let alone all the time...we av to lick road clean w'tongues too before Bill will unlock the dressing rooms at the training ground, yer know...

      Delete
    3. greetings spit, from the swamps of Noo Joisey

      Delete
  11. This from Toure himself,

    "Everything dimitry said is true . He speaks for me . I will give an interview after world cup to explain"

    Publicity? What publicity?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. he was denying it http://www.espn.co.uk/football/sport/story/257437.html

      but now he's denying he denied it. but this is all i can hear from toure 'look at me, look at me'

      Delete
    2. based on the evidence so far presented, one cannot deny that he denied denying it.

      Delete
    3. Breaking News:

      When asked about denying denials, Toure said, "Denial? I'm not in denial..."

      Delete
    4. Denial, as everyone knows, is in Egypt.

      Well, somebody had to use that line! (Ducks sharp, squishy and heavy/blunt objects being thrown)

      Delete
  12. So, Louis van Gaal to Gaal-van-ise Manure!?

    Personaly I think he's a good manager, way better then Moyes anyway. I also think a lot of players will be in for a bit of a shock as he won't tolerate any kind of insobordination, but that said, SAF would of run a pretty tight ship too. Maybe the players they have all need that in a sort of sicko spank me daddy massacistic kind of way, the dirty buggers.

    His first business, behalf from, if you believe what the rags are printing, to buy every player that has ever done anything decent anywhere, will be to name his captain. This could be tricky. He had no hesitation whatsoever giving RvP the armband for Oranje and the folks in the press here are expecting him to do the same at United which may slightly peeve (read, send in to a full blown hissy) young, well not really that young anymore, master Rooney. Afterall wasnt that one of the things he was promised when signing that contract extension? It's not like he did just for the 300k a week now is it.

    #thiscouldgetmessy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it's not just the hairstyle which says "North Korean dictator". the players will have to keep a photo of him on a wall of its own, they will be bugged beaten and subject to zersetzung tactics- furniture slightly moved, anonymous pizza deliveries at midnight, cars scratched, cats kidnapped - untill they begin to crack. In July half the team will mysteriously disappear. In October he will threaten Man city with nuclear war and denis rodman will be playing up front.

      Delete
    2. it's not just the hairstyle which says "North Korean dictator". the players will have to keep a photo of him on a wall of its own, they will be bugged beaten and subject to zersetzung tactics- furniture slightly moved, anonymous pizza deliveries at midnight, cars scratched, cats kidnapped - untill they begin to crack. In July half the team will mysteriously disappear. In October he will threaten Man city with nuclear war and denis rodman will be playing up front.

      Delete
    3. I always suspected Rodman of being a red (and a bit of a Devil)

      Delete
    4. To be fair considering Rooney bust his guts thi sseason while Van Persie fancied a rest before the World Cup I know which one I would make captain and he isn't dutch. Rooney is like a striking version of Bryan Robson in that he is constantly working hard and I would prefer someone like that as United captain than someone who plays the injury card the minute the team starts to struggle

      Delete
  13. Have any of you ever sent an e-mail that, if read out of context by somebody other that its intended recipient could make it appear that you are either sexist, racist, inciting the death of an MP or anything similar. I know that I have and Richard Scudamore has.
    I'm also pretty sure that the people who are up in arms over these e-mails have e-mailed, facebooked, texted, tweeted or said things which, if they appeared in a tabloid newspaper would distort their true thoughts on a subject. I find it hard to believe (or very sad, if true) that FA board member Heather Rabbats, the e-mail leaker Rani abraham and all of the other moaners have never said anything ever that was not a true representation of their ideology. I find racism, sexism, homphobia and so on all very unncessary and unfathomable but I can laugh at a good joke about anything....if the joke is in a context, is from a person whom I know is sound, and if its FUCKING FUNNY. Maybe that was the problem with Scudamore's jokes. Honestly, people are just looking to be offended by anything pathetic little these days when there are people dying of starvation, disease, war, religious intolerance and the like. GET OVER IT.

    Rastafairy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All I can say is it is just as well Heather Rabbats's parents didnt decide to call her Rampant

      Delete
    2. Has Rabbats ever seen what women put on email about blokes or say at Ann Summers parties - it makes Scudamore comments look positively angelic. What I can't figure out is how the temp hasn't had her collar felt for illegally hacking private emails and why the recruiters who supplied her aren't suing for loss of revenue as they'll never get any business from the Premier League again.

      Delete
    3. Rastafairy - did you not know that jokes are banned if tehy offent the professional minority spokesmen/wome/people/eejits

      Delete
  14. Also, I'm damn sick of the BBC printing stories about abusive messages on social media without actually printing what was said. Without being able to see the comments by these "celebs" you cannot and should not form an opinion about whether they are offensive. Remember, you have a right to be not offended by something somebody says.

    Or am I just from a different generation. Do teenage girls not see One Direction as "Heartthrobs"? does BlueHellsBells not have thoughts about JM that could be construe as sexist if they plastered all over the Daily Mail? And have you seen that Brazilian lineswoman?

    Rastafairy again. Rant over.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am offended by your offensive offense-taking. And who gave you the right to invoke and insult Rastafarians and fairies? And who replies to rants?! What kind of lowlife doesn't have something better to do than troll through comments under blog posts and vent incoherently?

      Pot. Kettle. Pigment which appears to absorb all light from of visible spectrum.

      Delete
    2. Dear Sir,

      I wish to complain in the strongest possible manner about nothing in particular. In conclusion, in ten days I'll have us at war with those sons-of-bitches, and I'll make it look like their fault!

      Sincerely,
      General George S. Patton (Mrs.)

      Delete
    3. if you plastered BlueHellsBells throughts about the Suave One over the Daily Mail it would be shut down under the indecent publications act. There is a limit you know

      Delete
    4. I'm all for anything that would shut down the Daily Mail.

      Delete
  15. Trotts, instead of purchasing Villa, I think we should just find a weak-minded PL footballer and be his agent. Easier:

    Yaya Toure: "Dmitri, I think you made me look a bit of a pillock in that artic-"
    Dmitri Seluk (speaking calmly, and waving a hand in front of Toure's face): "Everything Dmitri said is true..."
    YT (typing into Twitter on mobile): "Everything Dmitri says is true."
    DS (murmur and wave): "He speaks for me..."
    YT (types): "He speaks for me."
    DS (murmur and wave): "You will explain after the World Cup..."
    YT (types): "I will explain after the World Cup."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree the YT thing is ridiculous, but I'm guessing he's got fed up of playing for a rich but soulless club, and wants to finish his career elsewhere. He apparently said Barca, but I think he's be better suited to rejoining Pep at Bayern.



      Jedi

      Delete
    2. He thinks he's the best, they dont. They may need to shed a couple of players. He fits the bill. Man City's chances of winning the Champions league look limited to me - no track record, the FFP penalties. He's aware of all this.He's 31. This is his last throw of the dice, it's not the money.

      Either that or he really really likes birthday cake.

      Delete
    3. I agree with Blogidy.He's probably agitating for one final move.He's talked of finishing his career at Barcelona.For City,especially with Milner looking to move on,it represents a good chance for them to sell him for a decent few quid to fund the purchase of,eg,Barkley.

      They're only allowed a net spend of £49m (only!),so he could pay for 2/3 good English players to fill the quota.

      Delete
    4. I think Van Gaal needs to snap Barkley up and quickly - pay whatever they ask and throw in Cleverley just to get rid of him, if rumours are to be believed, Shaw, Fabregas, Kroos and Strootman are already on their way nbut I'll believe it when I see it

      Delete
    5. Shaw, maybe. Kross possibly. You'd have to carry Strootman there because he can hardly walk. Fabregas..... good luck with that.

      But don't worry, you're going to be (falsely) linked with a gazillion more names before the window shuts.

      Delete
    6. Bogus Official21 May 2014 at 21:53

      What is this arrogant, misguided belief amongst man ure fans that the likes of Kroos, Reus, Fabregas, Barkley, etc will want to join a club with no Champions League (or even Europa League for that matter) football?
      And the overrated Van Gaal isn't going to make much difference....let's face it, any half-decent manager would have won titles with Bayern, Barca & Ajax. Admittedly winning the Eredivisie with AZ was a decent achievement, but there's plenty of crap on his CV as well, especially fucking up 2002 World Cup qualification with Holland.
      And the suggestion that Matinez is stupid enough to take Cleverley in part-exchange for Barkley is daft in the extreme!

      Delete
    7. I don't see how considering he has already made an equiry in January as to whether he could sign Cleverley

      Delete
  16. "Atletico Madrid send striker Diego Costa for treatment using horse placenta in a bid to try and make him available for Saturday's Champions League final."

    The future is clear, take a punt on horse placentae. Don't be a neigh sayer!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. how does that work - do they put it in front of him and say get fit or we'll make you eat it every meal of the day

      Delete
    2. He'll be galloping towards to the on Saturday

      Delete
    3. * towards the goal even

      Delete
    4. Didn't van Persie or someone else do this a few years back? I'm sure Lance mainlined the stuff back in the day.

      Delete
    5. Yeah RvP did it...... hardly heped though.

      But he did become the worlds first Placentaforward.

      Delete
    6. I don't think he'll be ready for the final but maybe in time for the Derby?

      Delete
    7. Horse Placenta, didn't he play for Argentina in the 70s?

      Delete
    8. Trotts, inside info on the Championship Play-off Final?

      Delete
  17. To be fair considering Rooney bust his guts thi sseason while Van Persie fancied a rest before the World Cup I know which one I would make captain and he isn't dutch.

    What the fuck does Rooney have on you mancs?

    Although I totally agree that RvP acted like a twat this season, the little boy inside him turning out to be a spoilt little brat (ha ha for that). Is it really any worse then what Rooney, repeatedly by the way, does every time he feels there is a bump in the road?

    So what did he do this year then? Ah yes, he showed that most British of traits some laud as a skill, the willingness to put a shift in.... Well whoop the fucking do. You're paying him how much now? Three ton plus a week? You're having a laugh aren't ya...........?

    Except I know you're not and that's scary because every time he hold's your club over a barrel you just seem to love him more, I think it's a kind of battered wife syndrome, and yes I'm sure he's good with the kids.

    Even though he has repeatedly threatened to walk out on you, you now think he has what it takes to be your club captain? I'd wager that van Gaal will think differently. Then we'll see how much he really loves you, will he accept the new gaffers decision or will he revert to type and throw another hissy?

    Nevermind, chuck another ton a week at him and you'll be besties again. What was that he once said;

    Once a Blue, always a......................

    OH.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On the bright side, Rooney is set to shine at the World Cup. Not so sure. I always thought he was a bit dim.

      http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/world-cup/27498585

      Delete
    2. The importance of communication cannot be underestimated when considering the nominees for Captain and as Juan "what's the" Mata speaks better English than Rooney I think Wazza might be a risky play. Maybe he's signed up at Manchester Poly for double dutch lessons, that'd help.

      Delete
    3. Breaking News: Man Utd sign Swansea striker; may support van Persie with Wazza Mata Michu?

      Delete
    4. It isn't just his work rate although that is a good factor it is also the fact that he generally tends to be more available to play and leads by example whereas RVP has shown no leadership or persistence this season. None of our midfielders are good enough and the only other candidate for it is Phil Jones and to be fair I wouldn't mind if it was him.

      Delete
  18. Pinch me, I must be dreaming, an England football team has won a penalty shoot-out! 4 - 1 against Holland in the final of the European U17 Championships in Malta. Now if only the senior players could do that in the World Cup.

    Spider

    ReplyDelete
  19. Bogus Official21 May 2014 at 21:41

    Apparently Richard Scudamore always keeps the sexual harassment complaint forms in the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet. That way he gets a good look at a bird's arse when she bends over to reach one.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Suarez probably out? Can't honestly deny that I gladly welcome the news.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. tehehe, that's tragic news!

      Delete
    2. Something wrong with his knees.....

      Must of come from carrying a team for a season/

      Delete
    3. Don't know that he's carried the Uruguay team, all by himself. They have a few other decent players as well.

      Delete
  21. Axl Rose has a wider vocal range than Mariah Carey according to the Telegraph on-line. Would it be sexist to point out that she has better tits?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Who said Moyes doesn't have a bit of fight left in him?

    http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-27525170

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Moyes allegedly turned a peaceful wine bar into a scene of bloody carnage and action worthy of a collaboration of Quentin Tarantino and Ang Lee:
      ""It was a total surprise. He grabbed me round the neck and struck me in the back of the head."
      "I ended up face-down on the floor. I felt like I was going to die. There were tables flying everywhere and glass all over the place."

      'Mauler' Moyes apparently struck terror into the youth...

      http://news.uk.msn.com/uk/moyes-accuser-says-he-feared-death

      Delete
    2. "Accuser said he feared death". Obviously not a Manpoo player then. Tbh this has all the hallmarks of some nobody winding up a "celebrity" so they can get their name into the papers and flog their story to a red top. Apparently no-one was admitted to hospital, no-ne has been charged and there are "conflicting versions" of the incident. (Yawn).

      Spider

      Delete
    3. The Glasgow Police have released a statement,apparently Moyes has now passed the interview stage for the Celtic job.

      Delete
  23. Altidore, and no Donovan? (The American footballer, not the dude who sang that freaky 'Atlantis' song) Despite his age, Donovan always plays damn hard for the U.S. side, seems be involved in big goals, and would be great off the bench. Without him, I think the U.S. definitely does not get out of its group. With him, I think the odds would still be pretty unfavorable. I think Klinsmann got this wrong, but the summer will tell.

    Altidore, on the other hand, might also prove to be involved in big goals - I just fear that they'll be for the team wearing the non-U.S. kit...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right to be concerned Scott, Altidore is poo.

      The worst footballer I've ever seen live and that was when he was playing in the Ere Divisie. I was asked how I thought he would do in the PL last season, I set him a target of two goals, he only managed to get half of that.

      Delete
    2. Altidore does well for the US, if not anyone else outside of Holland. But Donovan does even better. If I remember correctly, Altidore actually plays better with Donovan than without, as does most of the US team.

      I agree with Scott; I don't think we'll get out of our group now. I know there is always a time to phase out vets, but he's only 32. He is past his best, but a bench role would have been perfect for him. But Brad Davis and Mix Diskerud ahead of Landon Donovan? Really?!

      Donovan has handled this very professionally, but he must be livid inside. If he isn't, then Klinsmann was right to drop him.

      Honestly, I hope we either somehow win the World Cup and Klinsmann is vindicated... or we bomb miserably and they sack him.

      Delete
    3. Oh please, Donavan's nothing more than a hypocritical benchwarmer with a bloated ego at best. He warmed the benches twice in Germany and at Everton. He publicly bitches and moans about Beckham playing in the 'off-season' to be WC fit, then does exactly same thing when given the chance. Then of all things, the prima donna takes a 'sabbatical' from international play. Definition of a complete wanker, IMHO. I can't imagine any manager wanting such a Negative Nancy on their team. I doubt USMNT have but the slimmest of chances to survive the group stage, with or with out Mr. Donovan. Group G is full of better teams. Who knows though, there is always a chance of an upset by a minnow. :-)

      Delete
    4. Well, I do sincerely hope you're right about that upset, 7andabunchofotherstuff. I thought Donovan did alright in his brief Everton stay - when on the pitch, gave us some pace, played confidently. As for the sabbatical, yeah, it's kind of a dick move (sorry, PC readers of Robbo blog comments!), but it strikes me as a bit more honest than retiring/unretiring from international football as some have. The Becks thing was interesting - I think they're thought of much the same in their respective countries, as both raised the profile of the game (Beckham internationally, Donovan certainly in the U.S.), and folks seem to love them or despise them based on that alone. I saw it as more of a jealousy thing on Donovan's part than anything else...

      Delete
    5. Just before Donovan was cut, Howard said: “If Landon is on the field he is one of our top one or two players.”

      Most US-based sports journalists seem to agree that he belonged on the team, if not in the starting eleven. Can't be all bad. Yes, he never made it in Europe, long-term. Yes, he is past his prime. But it isn't as if we have such a surplus of experienced players ahead of him at all of the positions he plays.

      As for minnows... The FIFA rankings mean little, but I seem to remember us being ranked ahead of Ghana, though somehow Portugal and Germany are both in the top 3. Oh well. Minnows, I suppose. Like England, three spots ahead of us. Surely you lot aren't minnows just because you have no shot of winning, either?

      Delete
  24. Victoria Pendleton's now sticking the boot in on Scudamore

    "I think if you make such comments you should be fired or worse. Instantly.
    "You fire them and you never, ever again re-employ them in a role of that stature, nature or importance."

    Another pointless comment about Scudamore - and what does Victoria Pendleton mean about or worse - prison, death penalty, transportation to Australia.

    This has gone on too long and needs to stop the professional I'm offended brigade are ridiculous and only pipe up so they can get on the news and she's not even involved in football.

    The thing is however distasteful his email was I bet she's said worse about blokes to her mates and the email was obtained illegally so why no Leveson style crying - probably cos Hugh Grant isn't involved

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Victoria Pendleton - I fucking would

      Delete
    2. I don't often agree with Adam's political views, but he's dead right here. PC's gone mad, you can't say anything these days without someone taking offence, colour, creeed, gender, nothing is too trivial or petty that can't be put down as not correct.

      What really gets me is how everyone is always harping on about equal rigths, IMHO you should be able to make jokes about everyone, that's true equality.

      I remember Robbo back in the days on the beeb website. His introduction contained the phrase that he wasn't afraid to call a spade a spade, but it's not there anymore, the poor bloke is probably scared of upsetting some over sensitive shovel somewhere.

      Delete
    3. I can't get my head round this one. You're offended that people take offence so easily?

      Delete
    4. well, there's your round nosed spade, flat blade spade, concave spade, your digger, shoveller, ditch spade, drain spade, scooper ....... and Metalica's favourite, The Ace Of.

      Delete
    5. Given the power imbalance (especially institutionally), I'm still inclined to agree with the offense taken and that some sort of meaningful punishment would be appropriate. Not deportation, but certainly being fired. Things won't change unless we make them change, and leaving sexist (and/or racist, etc.) old white men in power will slow the change. (This coming from someone who was very much looking forward to eventually being one of those old white men in power.) White heterosexual Christian males have plenty of privilege; if those privileged to be in power aren't going to allow equity anytime soon, they could as well at least stop abusing those believed to be lesser creatures. Or at least be smart enough to avoid abusing them in written or recorded formats that can be easily, if illegally, obtained by others and distributed publicly.

      Delete
    6. Well I think the only appropriate punishment for him is to be hung up by his goollies , no namby pambying around with being fired and some such nonsense

      Delete
    7. you've got balls making a suggestion like that Bells!

      Delete
  25. well she's just expressing her opinion. Now i admire a void pair of tits add much add the next man and a jokes a joke but can you imagine what a pain in the shapely arse it must be to be victoria Pendleton. Same old fucking 'joke' from sad old blokes like scudamore from here to eternity.

    I'm not particularly pc but i have to say I don't understand why people get so offended by political correctness. In fact all this anti political correctness, its gone mad. Everyones anti political correct these days, ukip are about to take power, scudamore, that big dopey looking fucking twat off of top gear, that fucking idiot in the sun, half of everyone i know, they're going anti political correct all over the shop. Its taking the fun out of being anti politically correct. I long for the days when i could upset some soft lefty by harassing his girlfriend. And there's no fun at all anymore in scrawling racist jokes in excrement on my neighbours car ((c) Stewart lee). Do you know, he'd probably just laugh these days.

    Being back political correctness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I side with VP on this, just as long as she keeps exposing herself in GQ and the like for the titilation of the readers.

      Delete
    2. *fucking idiot in the sun... I mean the big eared clot Prince Dickhead Charles III of course

      Delete
    3. Nice pics in GQ Vicky, sexy, not sexist. Smell the glove.

      Rastafairy

      Delete
    4. blogs auto-corrects make his posts both insightful and a puzzle to try and deduce their true meaning. Fun for all the family.

      Delete
    5. I think this really expresses my view on PC
      http://twitter.com/ficogo/status/469894630033870849/photo/1

      Delete
    6. Yep Trotts cos GQ stands for Gender equality doesn't it

      Delete
  26. Trotts it was Motörhead that did ace of spades
    Bisq

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry Bisq, you're right of course. My lad did it at school and as he's a big Metalica fan combined with my less than stellar brain function, that's what came out! You get the idea….

      Delete
  27. I'm not offended by PC.

    I use an iMac.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Other depilatory products are available.

      Delete
  28. All these sexist non-PC jokes get right up my tits.

    Spider

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. once and for all, Political Correctness hasn't gone 'mad' ffs, political correctness has developed learning difficulties

      Delete
  29. Luiz to PSG (http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/27545046)

    Back when Mata was on the move, I mentioned my brother gave me three Chelsea mini-figures (SoccerStarz?) as a bit of a joke. Mata: Gone. Luiz: Going. Hazard: Next.

    If any of you want someone moved on, let me know. I'm sure my brother can rustle up something for you.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I tell you another thing with learning difficulties is the fucking transfer market. 40+ million for sideshow Bob. PSG really are the new man city. I feel for their new feeder club, though, Chelsea. Mourinho looks more and more like the Eurovision Sam Alardyce.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Obviously Real got Bale on the cheap! What next, PSG pay £10m for Altidore?

      Spider

      Delete
  31. As I said in my original post, there are more important things in the world than getting pissed about jokes. Look at Nigeria with the mass killings by Boko Harem....
    ....I'm never listening to "A Whiter Shade of Pale" again. Bastards.

    Rastafairy

    ReplyDelete
  32. Well personally I'm hoping for a Real win tonight, if only for Gareth Bale to win the trophy. And seeing as I wanted City to win the Prem, Utd to implode and Timmy to get sacked, I think it's only fair that I get this wish too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm leaning toward Altetico, if only because of the salary imbalance. Who thought you could win anything if you paid each of your players only a banker's salary instead of a bank CEO's salary?

      Delete
  33. Actually, selling Luiz is a good bit of business. Would be nice if Mo would play him, but if not, might as well sell.

    ReplyDelete
  34. No good could've comes of it. mixed feelings about it all. Either the Eurovision Man City and the World's Most Slappable Human Being (ten times winner) come out in top or Simeon, black clad national nemesis, and his team of willing triers. Same goes for seeing Breaking Bad's scouse/cockney uk spin off partnership of Harry and Joey back in the prem. Marginally better than that tabloid twat McLaren and his team of willing triers? Not sure.

    Football's so much better than real life.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I saw it from 78th minute on. Bale was crap, abysmal, hopeless except for when he scored the winner to fulfil the third leg of my 3-legged prediction which only didn't come true because Chelsea failed me, what else is new.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I went to the football streaming page to see if they had the Mighty O's play-off match only to discover our chances of promotion took a bit of a nose dive. It seems our opponents, which was supposed to be Rotherham, is now the Swiss national team.

    As for Scudmore, I agree with Bells, hang him by his balls for a week. Put Victoria Pendleton in charge of the PL and get on with it.

    ReplyDelete
  37. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Congratulations QPR. A real smash and grab which is a totally viable tactic when you have Joey barton in your team. 'Arry a very lucky boy though, very inept display from him, Taking a chance on a cleary unfit player and the timing of the Zamora sub was baffling

    Simone made the same mistake with Costa and it cost him the game as Athletico were cleary cream crackered towards the end. Didn't do himself credit by acting like a twat at the end of the game, but even that pales in comparison in the sick to the stomach stakes of Ronaldo's last gasp, totally irrelevant to the outcome of the game, penalty, which he celebrated like he had just single handedly won the game, YUCKY.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Atletico were La Decimated

      Delete
    2. I think Ronaldo was just relieved to have scored. Their midfield and defence just weren't getting the ball to him at all, Kheidera was dreadful, Bale was wasting it and Di Maria was crossing from too deep to have any effect.. It wasn't until Isco and Marcelo came on that Real were able to get any kind of purchase in the game. I thought the score was a bit harsh though

      Great effort from Athletico but they just ran out of steam in the end

      Delete
  39. Unlucky Bo, but where's Tone now he's got the bragging rights of back to back promotion with the millers?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He's been promoted to the comments section of McNumpty's BBC page.

      Delete
  40. Well Real got the win, but it wasn't pretty. Ronaldo and Bale were pretty poor, Atletico pressed hard for 90 minutes and made it uncomfortable for Real, whose delivery was fucking terrible. Can't remember how many times a cross, corner or free-kick failed to beat the first man. But Ramos saved them yet again, and then Bale got the winner after missing some pretty good chances. As H said above, Ronaldo celebrtaing like he'd won it for them after doing fuck all all game was pretty cringe worthy.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I'm convinced we're going to win this bloody world cup. Maybe I'm over compensating a tadg but now expectations are as ludicrously low as they have been ludicrously high in the past.
    As trots would say..it's in the bag!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Austria won the Eurovision song festival
      - A thrilling FA Cup final saw the eventual winners come back to win 3-2 after being two goals down
      - Atletico claimed top spot in La Liga
      - Real were crowned champions of Europe
      - Ajax and Feyenoord finished first and second in the Eredivisie, Celtic won the Scottish Division One and Dortmund came in second behind their Munich rivals in the Bundesliga

      That year was 1966.

      Coincidece?????????


      Probably.

      Delete
  42. (via Twitter):
    Jonathan Stevenson ‏@Stevo_football May 24
    Defending masterclass. Porn for Mourinho, this Atletico team.

    That was my favorite CL final comment, from Jonathan (Stevo) Stevenson - like Robbo, he supports a 'smaller' club (Notts Forest), has a good sense of humor (he handled live texts), and I believe the BBC let him go in the same Cultural Revolution that claimed Robbo and Chris (Chants of the Week) Charles.

    Speaking of Chris, here's a blast from the past - 2010 Chants of the Season:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/legacy/chrischarles/2010/05/chants_of_the_season.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chris seems to still be at it: (via Twitter again)
      Chris Charles @chrischarles101 · May 17
      2-0 and we f***ed it up!" Is the chant from @hullcityBRIT fans on the train.

      RR, did you get on with Jonathan and Chris? They seem similar to you: Knowledgeable, funny, somewhat irreverent, have a personality. Crikey, no wonder you're all gone from the Beeb!

      Delete
    2. Nice one, some familiar names and long lost posters in the comments section there and some chappy cunningly disguised as Blogdubdrib.

      Delete
    3. Wow, it's amazing I never put 2 and...some other number together on that.

      Delete
    4. I was banned, H, Jacks was banned as well I seem to remember.

      Delete
    5. Odd that so many posters disappeared when the blog, which was the number 1 most read blog on the BBC lest we forget and I think is even better now, was no longer on the BBC, like they needed some kind of official imprimatur to carry on reading.

      Delete
    6. I used to be virtual pals with that Blogdubdrib bloke, whatever happened to him?

      Delete
    7. I think everyone but JDR got banned in the end. My bid to get the Pet Shop Boys Christmas EP to No 1 was what did me in or maybe it was the Gary Neville for England one

      Delete
    8. Anyone promoting PSB for any reason deserves to be banned. Robbo any chance of putting a ban in place here.

      Delete
    9. More Pet Shop Boys promotion is needed not less. Only cost the Electric tour is in its 2nd year and back in the UK next month and I can't see it again until August due to knee surgery

      Delete
  43. Reports Spurs will sign Pochettino next week. I give him a year.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They are already looking for his replacement.

      Delete
    2. Let's hope gepetto levy can make him into a Real Boy and teach him a few words of English.

      Delete
    3. Not necessary.

      'Arry got by fine.

      Delete
    4. Levy will make him an offer he can't understand.

      Delete
    5. If last year's signings are all healthy, Pinocchettino finishes sixth. If not, he finishes after six months.

      Delete
    6. Bit more queasy than when 'array was appointed.

      Delete
  44. When I went to bed the O's were 2 nil up and headed for the Championship division. What the fuck went wrong.

    Anyway, congrats to the Millers and Tone.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Not the best play-off weekend for me.

    Lot of Derby fans as customers,Bo's O's,Mrs Jack (not her real name) working in Burton.

    So in that spirit,I hope Arsenal,Spurs,Liverpool,Bolton,Leyton Orient and Port Vale all get relegated and England get knocked out of the World Cup after losing all 3 games.

    On an unrelated note,wouldn't it be nice for Chelsea to win everything and John Terry to get all the awards going next season....

    ReplyDelete
  46. I'm torn between Jack's England losing all three games and Blog's conviction of us winning the bloody thing, so I guess being knocked out in the quarter finals on penalties is on the cards.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Spurs get 8 million quid because Bale and Real won the cup? Nice bit o business.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a lot more then they'll make in the Europa League.

      Delete
    2. Actually, Spurs get 8 million squid and a new mascot because of Bale's Sea, Youppi clause.

      Delete
  48. Gareth Bale - the gift that keeps on giving. And Spurs earned a place in the mighty Europa? Noel will be so disappointed. Still, looks like they'll in the playoff round before groups, so that's something...

    ReplyDelete
  49. *erm, begin in the playoff round. Borrowed Blogs' phone, there...

    ReplyDelete
  50. They'll have Pottochino to guide them now. Took a few of his backroom staff with him too.

    Levy must be paying almost as much as Abromovich in disgarded and obtained coaches.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And the Southamptom exodus officially begins (again?)

      Delete
    2. It could indeed kick start it off.

      Delete
  51. Sports writing at it's very best. Suarez head butt a ref? Surely not, but read this and and you might change your mind about him. I didn't, I still think he's a cunt, but give it a go...


    http://espn.go.com/espn/feature/story/_/id/10984370/portrait-serial-winner-luis-suarez-soccer-most-beautiful-player

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Turns out he is human, after all. Shitty at times, a softie at others. Good for him. Better and worse things have been done on and off the pitch by others.

      Delete
    2. good article that Blog, thanks for linking it. I don't care what anyone says, I'm giving Joey Barton a pass.

      Delete
    3. Nice find, Blog. Very interesting.

      I've never paid much attention to Suarez's personal life as isn't really any of my business. His wife is obviously the beauty and as well as the brains of the family. Hopefully, his family can help him sort his anger issues out. I fear for little Benja and Delfina when and if they start to play youth footie. Sadly, they'll most likely be a target of some form of 'retribution' from players and coaches.

      Delete
    4. It strikes me that no one has paid much attention to Suarez's personal life - why would anyone need to, with all that on-the-pitch drama to sell tabloid muck? Even Thompson himself went to "find the ref" at the heart of the Suarez Book of Genesis. The beauty of the piece lies in the writer's willingness to follow his instincts and not simply confirm his (or anyone else's) bias.

      Delete
  52. Apparently, USA's #10 at the World Cup will be........ Mix Diskerud. Might as well give it to me. Klinsi, I await your call.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mix 1: Stephan 0

      I have to admit the name, Mix Diskerud, does sound like he's a 46 year old wedding DJ from St. Cloud Minnesota.

      Delete
    2. To be fair, I think he's up 3-0 in terms of senior international goals.

      Delete
  53. This it's hard to swallow....
    The consumer protection authority Procon stated on its website: “In São Conrado, at the Hotel Royal Tulip, where the England team will be based, 2.362kg of unusable butter, Parma ham and salmon was seized. The hotel was also fined for not providing condoms to guests.”

    It's them foreigners again out to get us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it's a ploy I tell ya, 24 years from now Brazill will win the world cup with a team full of thin haired granny shaggers.

      Delete
    2. The Scousers from Brazil - coming soon to a theater near you...

      Delete
  54. A 5 year contract? Levy is either planning for a long term manager (hahahaha - can't believe I wrote that), or he's got some money stashed aside for a huge payoff. Let's hope Poch can get the best out of young Lamela. Slightly concerned about the number of Argentines at the Lane now though. Not that Stan Collymore would mind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's probably a 5 year contract with a break clause at the end of next season just like Sherwood's.

      Being the astute (read harsh) businessman that Levy is, I'm sure the break clause will trigger unless the following happens:

      - Spurs win Europa Cup
      - Spurs win the PL
      - Pottochino does not get sued by HMRC for tax evation
      - Pottochino persuades Bale to return to Spurs for 8 mil and then loan him out back to Real for 80 mil a season

      In other words, that means Levy is looking for his replacement already for next summer.

      Zed

      Delete
  55. I'd be a bit concerned Noel.Levy has already released a statement giving Pochettino a vote of confidence.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. all this chopping and changing can't be good for the general well being in the team. Just like in divorce it's always the innocents that suffer the most.

      I wonder if those poor players will even bother to learn their new daddy's name this time.

      Delete
    2. If he can get Lamela and Soldado to live up to their hype, it will be a job well done. I fear though, he will probably line up Lallana and a couple more from the Saints, and the new team will need some time to gel.

      Delete
    3. If he can a refund on Lamela and Soldado he'll be doing even better.

      Delete
  56. It's gonna be a great season for Spurs, I can tell that H and Gooner nation are worried!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The laws of averages say that it must happen eventually.

      Delete
  57. Bo (and others)

    wont brag too much other than to say we won on pens.....

    But just as in the reg season, it was too close to call, we didn't deserve to go in 2-0 down but you might then have just shaved it over 120. 2 great goals, Odubajo and Revell, the latter just edging out Garners goal against us in the semi.
    At the start of the pens I went for a piss, hoping the queue would be long and I would miss having to watch(the pens). In fact I watched them all. Like anyone the emotions of a pen playoff is too much bear, but Collins came thru in the end.

    As for the manager, as I said at the beginning on here a long time ago, he is a horrible nasty fat bastard, who knows how to manage, he's kicked a few out, made good ones out of bad and uses the loan system well. He compares himself to old beetroot face.

    and we have one of the best chairman, Tony Stewart

    I loved the comment from one of the O's directors, "I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, I've just been commiserated by one of the Chuckle Bros"

    ReplyDelete
  58. Thank you Lukas Fabianski, you left on a high, but to be brutaly honest you never quite really made it at the Arsenal, but, I wish you success in your next adventure.

    Like way too many crosses into your box, you shall be missed.

    ReplyDelete
  59. That article didn't alter my opinion about Suarez. He's a product of his own choices. He was, apparently, an arsehole when he was 16 and nothing has changed since. I agree with the comment from the Toronto Star "..... eventually he'll punch a baby."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that'll be another 10 match ban.

      Delete
    2. He'll then return and score 60. Yet another reason to keep your baby away from him.

      Delete
  60. Tottenham have assured new manager Mauricio Pochettino that he will not be sacked if the club fails to earn a Champions League spot next season.

    He probably wont last that far into the season anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  61. But will Joey Barton head butt piers Morgan when they appear together on BBC Queston time? ratings chasing car crash TV which I will I give a swerve thanks. Who/what next week? Liam Gallagher debates drug laws and child protection with Rolf Harris?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JB butting PM would be easily overlooked, Blog.

      Delete
  62. Scholes says England should play like Liverpool.
    http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/27617201

    Fast attack, no defense? Hopefully not a slippery slope...

    I think they'd be better off looking to the blue half of Merseyside. Everton make the best out of not quite enough, still play an exciting style, and loan in great players from elsewhere. Brazil and Spain have plenty of leftovers...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well to play like Liverpool, England would have to get Suarez on loan so, why not!

      Delete
    2. Everton style? Maybe Roy could bring in Messi and Ronaldo on loan.

      Delete
  63. Wait... Liverpool to sign Lambert. Maybe England will play like Liverpool because Liverpool will buy all the England players. Still, sans Suarez, I don't see it working out.

    http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/27629474

    ReplyDelete
  64. Liverland, Liverland, Liverland

    ReplyDelete
  65. How they gonna do this?

    FOOTBALLLive text commentary of the 1966 World Cup final between England and West Germany

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well, it might be a reenactment but it ain't fuckin live. Half the players are dead!

      Delete
  66. Most likely that idiot Ayre said Lambert instead of Llallana, and couldn't quite believe he got him for 4 million.

    In other news, arsene agrees a new three year deal. Hopefully that's what our resident gooners were looking for.

    ReplyDelete

Powered By Blogger