Robbo 10: W**kin Frankel - Click On My Face To Listen!

Monday, 12 May 2014

So... yeah... well done I suppose...

So after a riveting season it all ended rather tamely. Manchester City finished off the claret and blue threats of Villa and West Ham via the method of slow constriction. Allardyce and Lambert, two managers who have looked increasingly witless this season, went for the everyone behind the ball, hands-over-the-face, count-to-90-minutes and hope-for-the-best-option. Only Mourinho seems to make this work. He must have better buses.

It's hard not to like Citeh, particularly under the stewardship of Pellegrini, a man who has stuck firmly to his principles despite early season setbacks and has risen above and beyond any of the petty back-and-forths that pass for management these days.

The noisy neighbours look more and more tranquil in the very top tier. Not so much nouveau riche as landed gentry, they are now. Nine of the team that started on Sunday won the title two years ago. There's no need for big banners and coded eff-yous now. Just wave the trophies under the even quieter neighbours' noses.

They've been very easy on the eye, at times utterly ruthless, but if there's one player who represents their success this year it is Yaya Toure. Dietmar Hamann will tell you he doesn't do enough in his own half. Who the fuck cares, really, Didi? It's like complaining that Picasso wasn't much good at painting skirting-boards.

Toure is immense.He's scored hatfuls, some struck from distance but many simply scored through an extraordinary mixture of strength and grace. He's like Jonah Lomu with subtlety. Others have chipped in: Aguero, of course, but also Nasri, Silva and even Dzeko, a player who always confuses me when he plays well because I remain convinced that he's a bit shite.

Demichelis deserves credit for turning round a season in which he looked for all the world like a Stephen Seagal stunt double who wandered into the wrong set. Kompany is of course terrific and a very sound human being. You can't begrudge him a trophy.

So yes, well done Citeh and your very nice manager. But don't start with the 'we don't get enough credit for winning the league' tosh. I'm sorry but if you spend that amount of cash and wildly trash the UEFA financial fair play regulations and get a meaningless fine for your troubles, there's going to be a large amount of snide remarks about the Premier League being the least you could manage. Each and every one of them earns a bloody fortune. They should be good.

Chelsea deserve more derision. Almost as absurdly wealthy, they've won nowt in a particularly dreary way. Maybe, just maybe, Jose was wrong to come back. You can't always pick up where you left off with an old lover. The Happy One has looked so God-forsakenly miserable recently that I had to blink twice to remind myself that it wasn't Avram Grant.

Of course Liverpool and United are the real stories of the story. Moyes mismanaged to turn the champions into a bunch of hesitant nitwits, particularly at home in the Theatre Of Falling-Apart-At-The-Seams. Fergie oversaw the whole thing, puce and grim-faced up in the stands looking for all the world like a member of the politburo during a Moscow Mayday Parade. If Van Gaal gets the job, he's got a lot of work ahead of him.

Liverpool have of course been a joy, and Suarez a shining light of utter brilliance.  A bid's gone in for Lallana this morning. Rodgers isn't hanging about. We expect more of the same in August. I hope so cos it's been a wondrous breath of fresh air. But in the end they didn't win the title because they didn't quite know how to.

Citeh did have the know-how. They have been the best balanced side and although it came about in a constantly surprising way, the final outcome hardly makes one gasp.

Still at least all those England players at Citeh are going to come into the World Cup with a whole heap of confidence behind them. Joe Hart and... erm... oh, Milner played a bit didn't he?... Lescott? Not really... that bloke Rodwell is still there isn't he?...

Any road, Hodgson names his squad in two hours and there's no Ashley Cole. Good. Not cos Cole hasn't been a terrific player over the years - the best England's ever had in that position - but because it suggests that Hodgson might be taking some youth and creativity along with him. He might even have an eye on the future.

And with that in mind, here's the squad I'd take:

Hart, Foster, Forster; Johnson, Clyne, Jagielka, Cahill, Caulker, Jones, Baines, Shaw; Gerrard, Lallana, Henderson, Carrick, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Wilshere, Sterling, Barkley; Rooney, Welbeck, Lambert, Sturridge.

I don't think there's much to argue about with that squad. Possibly Ruddy instead of Foster. I wouldn't take Walker instead of Clyne even if he's fit. He's a danger to himself and the team is Kyle and it's not as if Glen Johnson doesn't have the odd ricket in him already.

Phil Jones goes (if fit) because he can play at full-back - I know not all that well but better than Smalling can. There's no place for other United makeweights either: Cleverley, Young, Smalling - they're not even works-in-progress these days, more like works-in-decline.

The forwards pick themselves now that Rodriguez can't make it. Milner can consider himself a little unlucky and I rather think that Hodgson will take him and leave out someone like Barkley. But I sort of hope not.

But all in all, I'm really looking forward to this World Cup because I absolutely know we can't win it. We'll be doing brilliantly just to get out of the group. Dyke's throat-slitting gesture wasn't funny. It was just accurate.

Which is more than can be said of his plan to revive our footballing youth. Let's just bung some B teams in amongst the lkower leagues and give 'em a bit of playing time. Really? Patronise hard-working league sides with your rich man's also-rans? No, if I was a Hartlepool regular I wouldn't pay tuppence to watch West Brom's second eleven. It's bollocks and patronising.

More money into grass-roots footy. More coaches. Better facilities. It'll all help. And in the shirt-term here's how to improve England's young footballers. Pick 'em. It's working at Southampton and Liverpool. And it'll save clubs a fortune. Just stop pissing about though Greg. Or we'll be doing doing that throat-slitting thingammy in your general direction.


123 comments:

  1. First
    Rastafairy

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  2. Ashley Cole "retires" from international football after being left out of WC squad. Isn't that a bit like dumping your girlfriend after she's dumped you.
    Rastafairy

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    Replies
    1. Rio Ferdinand following suit after not being offered a new contract has 'decided the time is right to move on'

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  3. Hard to argue with any of that, RR. Although Woy's statement that his team has been set for a "long time" and "no major changes" will happen is quite disconcerting. Guess we'll find out.

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    1. Oh, and I'm claiming second, 'cause Rastafairy posted twice. The BBC already has me fuming today, with a headline for a video I won't watch: Man City Will Own The Future - Kompany. Interesting choice of words there, Vince.

      Looks like another Vince is staying classy as well - Vincent Tan, in an interview I'll link, blames Mackay for relegation, a day after Mackay drops his legal challenge, says nice things and wishes Cardiff well:

      http://www.walesonline.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/vincent-tan-full-story-cardiff-7103643

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. Good points as usual, Robbo. As a Chelsea fan I still agree it was a painful season, less so for lack of trophies than for lack of appearing interested in going forward, never mind scoring, or, heaven forbid, winning.

    I have an alternative plan for B Teams... How about A Teams? Lower division teams are given more money to support better coaching and facilities, with Premier League clubs limited in the number of players they purchase by requiring that everyone bought for over a particular dollar amount play at least a certain number of first team minutes each season. (Work out something for injuries... it can be done.)

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    1. The problem with all of these schemes is that they seem to be predicated on the benevolence of Premier League club owners, who would rather 1) Spend their not-inexhaustible money to stay in said League, or 2) Spend their inexhaustible money to buy titles and CL places.

      Take Everton, for example. Wonderful season and all, but I get the impression they're like a steam engine with its gauges in the red - with no new investment year on year, every pound counts. And I would expect most PL clubs are in the same boat.

      So where does the money to support these initiatives come from, I wonder? The FA? I doubt they'll even see the cash, if any, that UEFA winds up taking off Man City (and of course, that's all that will happen to the 'champions' grind, grind, grind...I don't think I'll have an axe anymore at this rate).

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    2. As an Evertonian, you're quite right Scott. Take the top 7 teams - if you take net spend over the last three seasons, we are so far adrift at the bottom of that mini-league it's not funny. Moyes and now Bobby Brown Shoes keep on over-achieving.
      God knows what the Useless Cup will do to us next season, but we will be lucky to get anywhere near the top 7. Bill needs all the shekels to keep the ship afloat, so the notion that "rich" Prem owners could donate some of TV's largesse to the lower leagues and the coaching system simply isn't on for us.
      Citeh, Chelski, L****poo*, Man U, Spuds, Arsenal probably could afford to but will be competing to outspend each over on overpiriced Southampton players.

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  6. Nicely done Robbo, Dzeko is a outright striker with a bloody nice first touch, lethal too. Wouldn't mind seeing him at chelsea. As for the WC team, guess Lampard will follow Cole if not selected. Would love to see Barkley line up with Wilshere, Sterling, Gerrard in midfield.

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  7. good stuff Robbo. Fingers crossed, shock inclusion for Frank Worthington!

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  8. Cracking blog Robbo. Hard to argue with your England squad either. Not much pace and width, apart from Sterling and maybe the Ox, but a) we don't have many fast wide players, and b) it doesn't seem to be in vogue anymore unfortunately.

    As for this B team shite, why not give the reserve teams their own league. Nothing serious in terms of prize money or anything like that. They play before the first team matches and then fans can get there early and watch two matches for their admission. It's what the rugby league does over here - you buy your matchday ticket and can turn up 4 hours early and watch the under 20s game, followed by the reserve grade game, then the main event. Others can work out the final details, I'm just the ideas man.

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    Replies
    1. fair enough Noel, as winner of Jacks H2H you should not only get a trim but also a seat on the Dyke brain trust.

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    2. Exactly, Trott. Otherwise this FFL season has been for nothing.

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    3. I like it, Noel. Logical, simple. Therefore, it will never happen. :)

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  9. Forwards
    Rickie Lambert (Southampton)
    Wayne Rooney (Manchester United)
    Daniel Sturridge (Liverpool)
    Danny Welbeck (Manchester United)


    Midfielders
    Steven Gerrard (Liverpool) - captain
    Ross Barkley (Everton)
    Jordan Henderson (Liverpool)
    Adam Lallana (Southampton)
    Frank Lampard (Chelsea)
    James Milner (Manchester City)
    Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain (Arsenal)
    Raheem Sterling (Liverpool)
    Jack Wilshere (Arsenal)
    England World Cup squad

    Defenders
    Leighton Baines (Everton)
    Gary Cahill (Chelsea)
    Phil Jagielka (Everton)
    Glen Johnson (Liverpool)
    Phil Jones (Man Utd)
    Luke Shaw (Southampton)
    Chris Smalling (Man Utd)
    England World Cup squad

    Goalkeepers
    Joe Hart (Manchester City)
    Ben Foster (West Bromwich Albion)
    Fraser Forster (Celtic)

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    Replies
    1. Stand-by list
      Michael Carrick (Manchester United)
      Andy Carroll (West Ham United)
      Tom Cleverley (Manchester United)
      Jermain Defoe (Toronto FC)
      Jon Flanagan (Liverpool)
      John Ruddy (Norwich City)
      John Stones (Everton)

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    2. Can't argue with that. Was going to make the case for Stones on standby, but he is a tad error prone, understandale, he's still learning, but he will make a great footballing centreback soon.

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  10. are we all chippin' in to buy Villa? I've got 4 quid, 2 Hong Kong dollars and a Jaffa cake from the back of the sofa.

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    1. Is it a cake or a biscuit Trotts?

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    2. not sure Jacks but it should be ok for the down payment

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    3. I'll throw in a 12' Stanley measuring tape and a pair of gas station (motorway services) aviator-style sunglasses. Think my coin jar is just about full as well...

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  11. I actually think that the B team proposal makes sense. Let's be honest, if a team of fully grown man and seasoned footballers (and some expensive imports possibly?) are beaten by a team that consists mostly of under 21s, trained in apparently the worst place to be trained to be a professional footballer among the big leagues, then the team that got beaten is likely be pretty shite themselves...

    Congrats to Citeh, but I really feel sorry for Gerrad. That man will never hear the end of the infamous slip from opponent fans until maybe he has a few PL titles under his belt. Maybe he should get some ear plugs for his next few away fixtures of next season?

    Zed

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    1. If they're that good, stick them in the championship.

      Yes, that's right, they'd tell dyke to fuck off as well.

      Man city's reserve team would probably be mid table premiership, but you d end up with debates like in F1 about team orders.

      It's just a stupid non-starter idea. I agree with Noel...reserve league.

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    2. its kind of ironic because after the City win Gerrard called all the players together on the pitch for a pep talk and told them, "no slip ups" and then he is the one that goes and slips up, literally.

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    3. Re: blogdignag

      Good point. Reserves league is much better.

      I think FA are just worried that if it was just reserves then no one would watch tho!

      Re: Anonymous

      Yea I knew that (and all the photoshop images on the internet). Feel sorry for Gerrard even though I'm not a Liverpool fan, but then again, it's these mistakes that remind us they are human. I don't think many non Chelsea fan can admit to not at least giggling a bit when JT slipped on his arse in Moscow!

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  12. Firstly, congratulations to Noel for taking over from me as Jacks H2H champion.

    Secondly, well done to Woy for picking the best team he possibly could have.

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    Replies
    1. Cheers, AH. Judging by my performances in the other leagues, I must have just had a good run of fixtures in Jack's.

      Agreed about the squad too - it's the best team POSSIBLE. He's been robbed of a few options by injury, but it's certainly a lot less controversial thank Capello's from 4 years ago.

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  13. Well I suppose the best of the big money teams won, oh well.

    B team proposal is utter shite, but what else can you expect from Greg Dyke.

    Bantam Doonhamer.

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  14. Hello BD.

    And now to binge watch some Nordic noir on Netflix before dreaming of blondes and being ritually massacred in strange circumstances.

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    1. Make the right godly sacrifices and Vale will be in the PL soon.

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  15. As expected Noel.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/27389072

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    1. Yep, that's what Spurs do.

      Levy is turning into a bit of a joke.

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    2. What is most awesome is that Moyes and Rafa are also being linked with the job now. Either one would be okay by me.

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    3. Give them Moyes, Rafa might actually win them something.

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    4. Agreed, Levy has lost the plot, de-railed the train, and firmly planted his head in the sand.

      I've heard a few fans talking up Rafa, because of his stint with Chelsea. Interesting, Rafa could be good for a year maybe. I haven't heard much mention of Moyes, mostly Mauricio Pochettino or Frank De Boer. I can't see Moyes returning to the Premiership any time soon, if at all. I don't get the fuss about Mauricio Pochettino. He seems perfect for Southampton, but I don't think he'd be able to lead Tottenham further up the table. Frank De Boer, with most impressive CV of the 4 I have mentioned, unfortunately seems like another desperate attempt by Levy to turn the Spurs into North London Barcelona FC. If the past is any indication, that it won't work regardless of De Boer's managerial abilities. Not that it matters, since all the De Boer 'news' is nothing but vapour.

      It is obvious as to the sort of manager Spurs needs to recruit. It is not obvious who this human might be.

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    5. Great news to wake up to! As I said exactly two years ago, the next appointment is vital to the team. Personally, I'd like de Boer. I think he'll get more out of Eriksen, he may persuade Vertonghen to stay, I think he's a big enough name to get the likes of Lloris excited and want to stay at the club, and he seems like a quality young manager.

      Pochettino plays a good brand of football, and he's Argentine, so he may get Lamela playing to his ability. But he hasn't set the world alight this season. Would he take us any further up the table?

      Benitez wouldn't leave Napoli, surely. Can't see him getting on with someone like Levy either.

      Anyway, whoever it is, they'll be an improvement on Timmy, who presumably, will now think that a job any lower down than the Premiership is below him. He'll pop up on any tv network that'll have him spouting off about his win percentage. He only beat teams well below us in the table (one win against Everton aside, and Utd, but everyone beats them these days), and got us hammered against the top teams just as badly as AVB did.

      Anyhow, whoever comes in, I just hope it's soon so they can get a full pre-season in, and make their changes to the squad nice and early, so we don't get the usual drama of being three weeks into the season before we overhaul the squad.

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    6. de Boer would be absolutly mental to go to Spurs.

      Levy is turning into Abromovich, but then without the success.

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  16. Good stuff RR.

    Exactly how I felt in the end, I'd tipped Citeh from the off and anything less then them winning te title would of been a massive failure. I've nothing against them, as a team goes most of them seem pretty ok, Nasri's a bit of a tit, but that's probably just sour grapes. Pellegrini seems more then decent, handles himself with grace and humility too, but them winning it just always felt inevitable.

    I think that that is reflected in the seasons "best of: awards too, with neither manager or player winning any of the gongs.

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  17. 'Arry Vs Stevie Mac for the last promotion spot. I vote for the umbrella man.

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  18. Scott/Roger T.

    I've enjoyed watching Everton this season and I'm a big fan of how they do things, they are, to use a well used adage, a proper football club.

    They do things the right way and indeed punch above their weight, but to say that they are miles behind the other top 7 in net spend is not completly true, these are figures from the last 5 years;

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2553796/Proof-money-buys-happiness-Manchester-City-Chelsea-Manchester-United-net-spend-charts.html

    Everton (in the min) are in 19th, just under Sp*rs (in the plus) in 17th and Arsenal (in the min) in 18th. Take away the Ozil signing (43mill) and Arsenal's net spend would be less then Evertons. Yes, I know that the Gunners has a greater spending power then the Toffees, but they have a much bigger stadium (self built) and greater comercial deals. So if anyone is punching above their weight, 17 years succesive top 4 finishes, it is us.

    The chart also dispells the myth that Liverpool came out of nowhere to suddenly challege, their net spend is 5th, but their gross spend is 4th, behind Citeh, the Chavs and Spertz.

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    1. Fair point, H2H - my only argument being the one you presented about spending power. So, we've got a well-run club that overachieves. In all humility, and as a colonist who barely understands sport economics in his own country, I'd like to ask the wisest folk in the land - the Robbo Blog Followers - why do you think Everton can't get investment?

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  19. With Sherwood's comments about players and agents and feeling like a supply teacher, and after what Moyes went through at United, I doubt Moyes would be a good fit at Spurs, unless he were allowed to Walk Tall and Carry a Big Stick, like Buford Pusser.

    I want Rafa in the Premier League - as I've stated before, life with Maureen isn't the same without him getting on Rafa's nerves, and I think that's why Maureen has been so glum lately. They're like mismatched partners in a buddy cop movie. Without the grudging respect.

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    Replies
    1. Moyes definetly wouldn't be a good fit, that's why I want him there. ;)

      Rafa would be great to annoy maureen, not so sure why he'd want to leave Napoli though.

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    2. Would it be a slap in the face to liverpool if benitez went to man united?

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    3. impossible as long as Fergie's on the board. He'd come out of retirement first!

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    4. Agree - Maureen played mind games with Rafa, but SAF genuinely seemed to hate him.

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  20. DiMateo for Spuds please. Pep Guardiola to Leicester?

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    Replies
    1. Bah, every one knows Pep's headed to Leeds. ;-)

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    2. Absolute horseshit. Everyone knows Pep is on his way to Montreal, just as soon as Klopas finally bites the dust.

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  21. http://outsideoftheboot.com/2014/05/13/chelseas-facebook-page-mistakes-cardiff-supporters-as-their-own/

    Dum de dum dumb.

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    1. Well, Cardiff DID nick their colours, yeah? But you'da thunk Chelski might employ people who can, I don't know, read English good? Read good English? Good...English...read... (grunt) head hurt...

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    2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ffj8SHrbk0

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    3. This video is not available in your country.

      Sorry about that.
      ===========================
      What was in that video H2 that is not suitable for folks in America?

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    4. It was from Zoolander, the bit about his school for kids that don't read good and want to do other stuff good too.

      Thought it was apt. ;)

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    5. they might be their supporters next season, Chelsea is closer to Cardiff than Manchester.

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    6. Cardiff can buy lots of Chelsea match tickets and travel accommodations for their supporters with the £60.8 million they got in TV revenue:

      http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/27411682

      Buying Villa is making more financial sense every day, Trotts!

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  22. Lots of fuss over Richard Scudamore's comments. They aren't very nice but while John Amaechi and his ilk call for him to be hung, drawn and quartered what is being done about the temporary worker who illegally hacked into his email and leaked it. Is he being arrested for hacking (as NOTW journos have been done regarding phones) and if not , why not?

    Also bet that recruitment agency won't be supplying the premier league with admin staff any more either so will they sue the worker for misconduct and loss of revenue?

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    1. they're both cunts. Best way to settle it is a knife fight as a curtain raiser to the Charity Shield.

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    2. Where can I reserve my ticket?

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    3. Hull Tigers v City, your best bet is for City to return some of their allocation ; )

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  23. ++++++++++++BREAKING NEWS. BREAKING NEWS++++++++

    Sky are reporting that Tottenham are so confident that Mauricio Pochettino will be their next manager that they have already began the search for his replacement.

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  24. How far off his line was the Seville keeper during the penalty shoot out last night?

    So what exactly do the 2 assistants standing either side of the goal do?

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    Replies
    1. You've answered the question therein - they stand either side of the goal. If they do anything else, I've never noticed it. And Colina is in favour of this system. How many blatnat penalties did they miss as well?

      Rastafairy

      First (to comment on this comment)

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  25. France midfielder Yoann Gourcuff, 29, has suffered another setback in his hopes of returning to fitness, after he injured himself while taking his dog for a walk.
    Full story: Daily Mail


    Wasn't it enough that that same dog used to eat his homework?

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    Replies
    1. The poor lad could have my dog, a 105-pound bloodhound who veers across your path like some horrid genetic splice of De Jong and Van Bommel, when he smells a chicken wing someone dropped in 1986. I have the knees of a 206-year old from the sudden stops and occasional tumbles. Then the innocent look, as if to say, "I'm a bloodhound. I trail by scent. What else could I have done? That chicken wing could still have been there..."

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  26. http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2054518-mario-balotelli-tries-to-set-his-brother-on-fire

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    1. And the prize for over sensationalised headline goes to........

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  27. I was 12 before I realised the name of my team wasnt Port Vale Nil.

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  28. That's a good question (above) Scott, one I don't think anyone can really answer factualy, I'll give it a, speculative, shot though.

    By all reports, Kenwright has been looking for investors for a number of years now, but it's all a bit of a lottery, for every Roman Abromovich there is a Carson Yeung out there and I think your chairman is prety wary of that fact.

    Would you really want a Vincent Tan kind of bloke coming in and changing your strip to red? How about a bloke who'd want to change your name to The Merseyside Toffeemen? Better still a beer guzzling cockney that would appoint Joke in 'ere as director of football and other stuff. Randy Lerner's got more then a few bob, doesn't really seem that interested though, does he? Have a look at Leeds or Portsmouth to see how it can all go horribly wrong.

    There's only two real "success" stories and they are Chelski and Citeh. The former was a question of location, the buyer wanted a club in London, Arsenal was not for sale and according to some accounts his first thoughts were on Tottenham, but it ended up being the Stamford Bridge outfit.

    As for City, they had just been given a free stadium by the goverment, located in a major city, pretty large fanbase and potential to expand, for the investors it ticked all the boxes.

    Everton is a good club too, but potential buyers would realise that they would need to upgrade the facilities, they'd definetly need a new stadium and that would cost a major wedge. How would the fans feel if the ground was moved from Goodison?

    I think you and Liverpool both missed a trick by not going for the potential ground sharing scheme with a superstadium in Stanley Park, (it works perfectly for AC and Inter Milan) both fans stating history, which I get to a point, but you both let it stand in the way of progress.

    Highbury was a great stadium, where I spent almost every weekend at as a lad. This season I've been to the Emirates, wow, what a stadium, it will keep us up with the bigboys due to the gate reciepts alone, especially if/when FFP kicks in.

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    1. Cheers, H - thanks for the knowledge. Yeah, I followed the Everton Kirkby fiasco without much understanding, but I could understand the supporters' frustration. I really hope they might revisit the shared stadium idea. Liverpool tried to go it alone on Stanley Park, but are now content to "redevelop" Anfield under the Fenway group.

      Your cautionary words about investors are also well-taken. We've seen the results of bad team ownership in my own backyard, the pinnacle of which has to be the moving of the Minnesota North Stars (a successful club in a hockey-mad state) moving to Dallas two years after being in a Stanley Cup final.

      But I thought only in the US, and Minnesota in particular (basketball/baseball/football), did the government build stadiums and arenas for billionaires...

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  29. its all about money these days, but you know what, it always was. There's a 104 billionaires in England now and 18 of them are even english. now i know theyre more likely to be intrested in polo and yachting and banger racing with bentleys but a small number of them must be interested in buying a top ten league 1 club. all id say is before you can understand the experience of a lower league fan walk a mile in his shoes and then youre in the clear because hes a mile away and youve got his shoes ((c) billy connellly)

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    1. I sawsomething on the box the other day about there being more Billionaires in London then anywhere else.

      I bet they don't hang around my old neighbourhood. ;).

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    2. youre probably right, H, but theres a good reason for that - although it must get boring being an oligarch swanning around in yachts sniffing coke off the shapely derrieres of a gang of prostitutes and especially if you were brought up in a mud hut in the ukraine and a pie and a pint down holloway road would be the perfect night out, you know, nostalgie de la boue, the problem is like the rest of londons its probably gentrified now and the pie would cost you a tenner, the pint an arm and a leg and a pied a terre would leave you with little change from a £million and thats why on balance they stick with the yachts and the prozzies and the cold breeze in cannes rather than cold beans in cans

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    3. If I had a billion to spare I'd buy a footie club but if I was down to my last billion I'd probably save it for a yacht and hookers.

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    4. Having never been across the pond, I plan to invest my second billion to purchase Mole Valley SCR. Wikipedia informs me they are perfect billionaire fodder. The Commoners, as they are known, host their opponents at Leg o' Mutton Field in Cobham, and managed to stay in the Combined Counties Premier League on the final day of the season. Not sure about the badge and colors, but we're keeping the nickname and the stadium sponsor.

      PL in ten years, Europe in twelve, CL champs in 15. Galacticos would tremble to face the Commoners at Leg o' Mutton Field.

      Delete
  30. "I was 12 before I realised the name of my team wasnt Port Vale Nil."

    Blogs, that reminds me of one of my favorite sports teams from childhood, the Baltimore Orioles. My parents were from Maryland and my dad grew up on the Orioles, so he passed them on to me, despite the fact we lived 300 miles away and they were terrible by the time I was old enough to sit up to watch television. I was nearly seven years old before I got to attend my first Orioles game and my uncle got us great seats near the visitors' dugout. The entire game, I kept asking when the Orioles were going to start winning... only for them to be no-hit. It was all downhill from there.

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  31. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-27423404

    still a chance they'll move the world cup to Blighty?

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  32. As Professor Unwin would say about the weather...

    Mordy!
    Forecazzle all sunshile and perspirakers there, so on with knotly handkerflopper, and sunscreel slappit on the facebole.
    Deep joy!

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  33. Old Sepp,bless him.

    http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/football/international/article4091716.ece

    It's behind a pay wall,so here's the article below.

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  34. Sepp Blatter has admitted that it was “a mistake” to choose Qatar to host the 2022 World Cup because of the emirate’s sweltering summertime climate.
    The Fifa president said that the technical report into Qatar’s bid had warned that it was too hot, but despite that, Fifa’s executive committee had voted for the Middle East country. The 78-year-old said that it is now “probable” that the tournament would be played in the winter rather than the summer, when the average temperature in June and July, when World Cups are staged, is 40C (104F).
    Blatter was philosophical about the decision to choose Qatar, but said that Fifa was swayed by the large support for the country.

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  35. “Yes, it was a mistake of course, but one makes lots of mistakes in life,” he said in an interview with RTS, the Swiss television station. “The technical report into Qatar said clearly it was too hot but the executive committee, with a large majority, decided all the same to play it in Qatar.”
    Blatter, who has repeatedly expressed his desire to move the tournament to a more appropriate date, believes that the tournament should be postponed until the 2022 winter. Temperatures in the winter in Qatar are about 25C. “The best time to play is at the end of the year,” he said. “You must remain realistic, we must play in winter at the end of the year.”
    Blatter insisted, however, that Qatar, who spent large amounts of money on sponsorship and development programmes in their bid, had not “bought” the World Cup. “No, I have never said it was bought, but that it was due to political considerations,” he said.
    Fifa took the controversial decision to award Qatar the World Cup in December 2010.

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  36. I think leagues and nations should boycott Qatar WC, and set up an alternative non-corrupt version of FIFA because this has gone too far now.

    It wont happen because no one cares enough. As long as the money comes in....

    speakng of which, poor old david james has somehow managed to blow £20 million and has declared himself bankrupt.

    Perhaps he should have saved more?

    Coat!

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  37. we're a fucking shit species arent we. i fucking despair. like Hume says the rude essay of an infant deity

    ReplyDelete
  38. Replies
    1. Back to fear and loathing Blogidy?

      (the avatar,not you personally)

      Delete
    2. Fear and loathing describes my General outlook quite well actually jacks but yep Hunter Thompson, another hero...Fred dibnah Mark e Smith.

      Come to think of it, Mark e Smith is the basterd son of Hunter Thompson and Fred Dibnah

      Delete
  39. A Friday teatime (well, it's nearly wine time) treat for those of you who are less enamoured with the Yummy One than I am

    http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/best-askjose-chelsea-boss-jose-3550862

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  40. Looks like I won't catch any matches tomorrow, sadly. Predictions for the ones that matter most:

    Atletico top Barcelona 9-0 thanks to 9 Messi own-goals. "They said I wasn't scoring enough, so I wanted to show I still have what it takes ahead of the World Cup. Pinto was easier to beat than that damn Belgian."

    Hull 1-1 Arsenal; Hull win via knockout. Level at 1-1 after 120mins (Giroud, Jelavic) and 16-16 after 22 rounds of penalties, Bruce and Wenger step into the center circle for a winner-takes-all bare-knuckle bout. Bruce wins via knockout in the second round.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, H2. At least the rest of my predictions are correct...

      Delete
  41. Trot, I've just finished reading a book that may interest you. Titled Fred.. Fred Dibnah biography. I'm sure most of the posters here have heard of him too. About to tackle 'Memoirs of an Unfit Mother,' Anne Robinson, also unknown to me but likely well known to most of you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hero. A mate of mine, believe it or not, has a stream engine and Fred was due to visit him when he fell ill because he'd dropped his cap in a puddle which a pigeon had crapped in..He had a scratch on his head and he contacted sine kind of horrible blood borne illness. Hero.

      Delete
    2. There was no mention of pigeons in the book Blog, just said he died of cancer.

      Delete
    3. aye Bo, Fred Dibnah, used to have his records!

      Delete
  42. Blog you are certainly right about obesity in Oz.. It all began when Colonel Sanders marched into town back in the 60's, followed by an army of US fast food franchises. Vital stats were never quite the same afterwards.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just in General terms I'd personally doubt the health giving properties of any foodstuff which comes in a bucket

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    2. Well for the sakes of all yous gooners I hope arsenal win as they should because if not you'll be a laughing stock.

      Delete
  43. La Liga is the only European league football shown on Manila TV, so I have seen a lot of messrs Messi and Ronaldo. To those who say Ronaldo doesn't fall to ground as often as he did, you are quite correct. He only spends half a match on the ground now and only appeals for a free-kick 70% of the time while down there.

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  44. Two Wembley matches left this season. The gunners play Hull for the facup, and the Mighty O's Play Rotherham for promotion to the Championship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you mean the Mighty O's play the Mighty Miller's?

      Delete
  45. Euro champions - spanish team
    world cup champions - spanish team
    europa champions - spanish team
    champ league - spanish team (soon to be)
    la liga - catalunya?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Premier League - international team. Oh yeah, and a couple of English blokes.

      Delete
  46. Even if arsenal win now the story will be..arsenal struggle to beat impoverished hull city.

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  47. Well done atletico. A Bit like st Johnston winning the Scottish cup. A Bit.

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  48. Well done arsenal. Was the second goal kosher though? Listening on the radio here. Bruce will feel aggrieved if not.

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  49. Congratulations to H2, Beezee, Bo and other resident gooners. Must be relief to get that monkey off. Well played Hull as well, hopefully don't get relegated next season having to play the Europa.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks AH, it is such a relief, most of us are not fair weather fans but the drought had gone on for longer than any of us liked,
      now waiting for Wenger to mess up the summer transfers again tehehe
      congrats to you too on a splendid season,

      --BeeZee

      Delete
  50. We had to come from 0-2 down but I always felt we would win the match. The corner that led to our second goal should have been a goalkick but we had three shouts for penalties turned down, all three genuine penalties in my opinion.

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad they won bo because it would have destroyed Wenger s credibility to lose and whatever he says I think it would have been the end. They nearly blew it though didn't they. after ten minutes it looked like they were going come fourth in the final well. It's like watching really talented kids playing. They wee over awed by the big occasion again and as one commentator said they needed that Cazorla free kick to remember that they were arsenal. Wenger need to spend money on grown ups for once, arsenal spend a fucking fortune on children(from other academies, rarely their own) and then sell them on at a profit, good business maybe but they'll never win the league that way. Having said that, Ozil was a disappointment again so no guarantees that spending big bucks will yield results, as spurs can testify..

      Delete
  51. been away but well done Gooners on the cup win.

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  52. Congrats to the Arse on their Cup win. Jeez, didn't make it easy for themselves though did they? Happy for Wenger - doesn't get the respect he deserves these days.

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  53. Finally recovered from the hangover enough to gloat about the FA Cup win...but on my God they made me suffer - I needed pint after pint of a nerve-calming fluid called beer.
    Have to agree with Blogdignag - everyon esays Arsenal need to spend big but I'm not convinced that Ozil (stick your umlauts wherever you want them) was a good buy from the off. Good player, poor attitude. Money doesn't guarantee great performances but I would have preferred 45million offer for Suarez (the dirty cheating, diving, biting, racist goalscoring genius). I don't want AW to go spending stupid money if it ruins the squad.

    Onwards and (hopefully upwards!)

    Rastafairy

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  54. Congrats from me too to all you Gooners.

    Though having said that is now nearly 45 hours since you last won a trophy, is it the end for Wenger

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha. its been 45 hours and he still hasnt bought a new striker.

      Delete
  55. new blog up H :)

    --BeeZee

    ReplyDelete