Arsene's Back (Sort Of)

I saw a programme the other day about wasps and was dead taken by their nests: beautiful, ornate, sturdy-looking but paper-thin. These wasps have built the Arsenal team, I thought to meself.


Well, yes, except occasionally, when cornered, your average wasp'll sting you. And from somewhere Arsenal found enough venom to ward off Hull City on Saturday (dressed as wasps themselves to be fair) and I think everyone, barring fans of Spurs and Hull, breathed a huge sigh of relief for the manager.


Never has a manager celebrated with such fatigue. You got the impression, even as the tie came off (you flirt, Arsene!) and his squad lobbed him up and down as his furrowed face dripped with champagne, that he just wanted to go indoors and read a nice book.


He won't say it but I'm pretty sure defeat in the Cup Final would've seen Wenger chuck it all in. Who wouldn't have. Every time questions have been asked this season about his side in the big games they've been swept away in the first half-hour. So it seemed on Saturday.


Two scruffy old goals from set-pieces - the Gunners' Achilles heel. The way they deal with crosses in boxes suggests not one of them wouldn't spoil their ballot papers. (Which is a roundabout way of saying 'Vote!' on Thursday).


Steve Bruce's boy nearly made it three - and young Alex put himself about manfully to refute claims of nepotism amongst cynical viewers (me included) - and Arsenal looked for all the world like they were going to ship another couple of the game was up before it began.


Santi Cazorla - with the aid of leaden-footed keeping by Mr McGregor - got Arsenal back in to the game. Cazorla was nearer to his best than we've seen recently, although I sometimes wonder why he doesn't go down a couple of sizes in the shorts department. In them keks he looks for all the world like Casper in 'Kes'.


After that, Hull got increasingly tired of running around after the Gooners tippy-tappying midfielders and the equaliser was all too inevitable.


Even then the Wenger boys made very heavy weather of it, although the winner fitted the properly clichéd bill by being 'worthy of winning any trophy. Aaron Ramsey was brilliant all season and his form going into these last few games makes his absence mid-season all the harder to take for you Gooners.


So the wait is over, the open-top bus can plod through the streets of Highbury and the gaffer gets three more years to prove that this is a 'turning-point' for the club.


Well now... here's the thing... This is the first season in my memory where the Arsene-Wipers were drowned out by the Arsene-kickers - and I'm talking Gooners here, not the rest of us. The neutrals have always verged on supporting Wenger cos he introduced some top -notch footy to this country, and this ongoing trophylessness was a story all of its own. We liked Moyes for the same reason , although short-sighted folk like Sir Alex Ferguson couldn't spot that.


Yes, the naysayers at the Emirates were in near full cry as Wenger's 1000th game saw his team panned 6-nothing by the most goal-shy Chelsea team in a generation. And what has the le vieux professeur done to change things? Nowt.


How did he alter the course of the Cup Final. He played two up front, which meant bringing on the great galumpher Sanogo - who seems to be doing his best to make everyone at the club really miss Gervinho (and the words 'miss' and 'Gervinho' are mutually inclusive.)


That hardly made a difference and so extra time saw the gaffer replace two fiddly-diddly midfielders with two more fiddly-diddly midfielders... Wilshere and Rosicky undoubtedly made a difference, but more through fresh legs than a change of policy.


It became clear what Wenger needs if he is going to change things around in terms of the Premier League and Champions League:


1. No more midfielders, especially the lazy ones. Mesut Ozil celebrated happily with the others but the clenching of his fist was the most work the bloke did all match. Wenger's got away with playing Arteta in a holding role but he's nowhere need the defensive ballast that Flamini was early doors.


2. A striker who can run around a bit, unlike Giroud, who is a French Teddy Sheringham, all brain and no pace. Walcott will help but if these repeat qualifications for the Champs League are worth anything they ought to be worth getting a fleet-footed and proven goalscorer on the books.


3. Sagna needs replacing and Jenkinson isn't the answer. So a right-back, then. And Vermaelen - ludicrously given the job of lifting the Cup after doing eff-all but sit down - surely there are some traditions we can keep hold of? - isn't half the player he was two years ago so they'll need a top centre-half to fill in.


The signs are that he'll have oodles of cash to splash if he wants it, but it's not Wenger's way to spend for the sake of spending. We'll see.


Maybe he'll look over the sea towards Diego Simeone and think that spending big isn't always the answer. What Simeone has done there is close to miraculous. He has a wage bill the size of Fulham's so I'm told.


Everything is down to hard work and playing for each other, he reckons. He readily resorts to that oft-mocked label that the Atletico play with a 'working-class' spirit which only enamours them to every plebeian football fan across the world whose team struggles on against the twin obstacles of lack of quality and lack of pure, naked cash.


They're not too easy on the eye but easier than a re-Mourinho-ed Chelsea whose budget dwarfs Atletico's. Even without their star turns Costa and Turan they came back form a goal down against the increasingly ticky-tacky Barca. I hope they turn Real over too. Frankly it'll give us all a boost.


Vamos Cholo!


And well done Arsenal too. Now sort yourselves out and you could even win the League. Ahem.