Wednesday 26 August 2015

Precious Stones Bound To Go

The window's closing and inexorably the cost of young English talent rises. Any club with a perceived gap in their squad is starting to leave extra sacks of cash outside the door of any lad with a UK passport and a smidgeon of talent.

The likes of Berahino and Stones have proven unable to resist. No doubt their agents, eyes on stalks and new Audi TT's in their sights, are helpfully nudging their clients into a trip to the manager's office. Martinez appears to be Stoneswalling the move; Pulis, ever the pragmatist is happier pushing the unwilling out of the door.

The greater the lure, the more the old heads on the comfy sofas urge restraint on the part of these kids. Loyalty and game-time are al very well Mr Lawro and Mr Shearer, but what about fuckloads of money and the odd trip off the bench in the Champions League, eh?

As with most things in life these days it's short-term gain versus long-term success. Raheem Sterling set the bar at the end of last season. He managed to combine flagrant disloyalty with poor form and virtually forced his way out of Liverpool. Berahino is missing sitters for the Baggies, ensuring a spell on the sidelines, increasing disaffection and getting even more entreaties from a Spurs team that gets no better with every passing season.

Clearly Chelsea have no one else in sight as a replacement for the warrior carthorse and captain JT. Mourinho has signalled his opinion: last year Terry was playing as well as he ever has; this year he's halfway to being dog-food. The latest offer is around £40 million. That's frankly mental. And Everton will have to accept. Or be 40 million quid less well off, and have a very grumpy centre half on their hands.

Of course there's the national picture here. We'd all like to see England benefit from our young players playing at a higher standard. But exactly how much will Stones play really? He can't rely on the numpty skipper getting himself a red card every weekend.

As usual, and with horrible cynicism, Chelsea are chucking out loan players like so many crumbs on a frozen bird table. Marin to Trabszonspoor, Cuadrado to Juventus, some other fuckwit you completely forgot about to somewhere you didn't know exists, etc.

Chelsea still can't resist buying talent just cos they can - Pedro seems a perfect example and his purchase leads to the temporary offloading of identical staff. So if Stones wants to improve as player he should probably stick it out at Goodison for a season longer. He's the best defender they have, and Jagielka isn't a bad bloke to have at your side.

But there's the estate in leafy Surrey, the bling, the West London lifestyle - and his agent might even encourage Stones to consider getting himself some of this too.

Meanwhile Everton look to strengthen their squad with a sixteenth of the fee with Spurs's haphazard hombre Fazio. Given Martinez's recent track record with centre-backs - Alcaraz, a man who defends like he's on the end of a parachute that's caught in a tree, comes to mind - Everton fans will be gnawing fingernails at the prospect of any new boy wandering in.

Spurs's pursuit of Berahino is understandable given that Pocchetino has three strikers, one of whom is a wonderful example to John Stones of what you can achieve if you combine a huge wage with a lack of commitment. Everyone's hoping that Harry Kane can keep up his brilliant form of last season but it's going to be bloody lonely out there on his tod. He's like the Ray Mears of goalscoring at the mo. So Saido's got to reckon on getting a lot of starts.

Of course one team that could well do with a centre forward - and who got shot of one over the summer - is Man United. Van Gaal, who is so eccentric he makes a Labour Party leadership election look straightforward, has now told everyone that Marouane Fellaini is a central striker. Given that David Moyes had him as a plodding holding midfielder with all the distribution of a postal strike, that's some change of role for the Sideshow Bob of Belgium.

Still, you look at the table and the facts don't lie. While United and Liverpool can't hardly score they can't concede either and with this Mourinhoesque dullness they might go far.

Meanwhile, if you have a teenager with talent in his toes and a keenness to learn and earn, well now's the time to start touting him around. You too might find yourself following a trail of gold coins and all the way up to the substitutes' bench of a top club for a five minute appearance in three years time on a blustery night in the League Cup.

Hell he might even get the chance to miss a decisive penalty in a shoot-out. We can always dream.




51 comments:

  1. And the poor , I've-only-spent-a-billion-quid-on-player-signings-since-2004-Mo wonders why people love Chelsea to lose?

    Time and again we see how overpriced English talent is.

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  2. Mr Wet Underpants 198926 August 2015 at 12:52

    Another quality outpouring Robbo. The quote about Alcaraz's defending is possibly the funniest sporting analogy since the description of Jim Furyk's golf swing: "It looks like a man trying to kill a snake in a phone booth"

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    1. I liked the description of his swing as being "Like an octopus falling out of a window"

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  3. I suppose LVG will be looking to play in a shit load of crosses & pump long balls forward with fellaini, with rooney/memphis running off him. The big Sam or ex-Stoke way!

    Stones on the other hand is a knob. JT, Terry & Zouma ahead of him in the pecking order, lest we forget that ivanovic too does a decent job at CB. Azpilicueta can play RB & LB and the new lad they just signed a LB too. Leaving Stones firmly on the bench. See out the season lad, grow, mature, play regularly, who knows, might even end up at turf moor next season. Just saying

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  4. It would be nice if United did a pedro on Chelsea for stones. It would be better for his development too as he would get more game time. But it is more likely that United will try it and mess it up badly....

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  5. Quality blog as always. Rather than Utd getting stones I think van dyke from Celtic would be a good call. He is someone who would improve at Utd and not cost too much. you could get him and Austin for the price of stones legs. He won't need them on the bench.

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    1. Virgil van Dijk I mean (ok I can't spell)

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    2. Sunt lacrimae facking rerum, my san

      (Dick's classically trained brother)

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    3. He may be poppins in later maybe.

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    4. And nice Latin Blogs. Takes me back 30 years or more. Damn I'm getting old.

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    5. Van Dijk?? He's a Dick.

      Spider

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  6. Good stuff Robbo. Tragically true. It gets crazier every season. Division 1 looking good!

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  7. Sterling, Saido and Stones all sold in the same window? We will have no promising young English talent to be hawked to the highest bidder in January. unless joe gomez decides he wants to win trophies.

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  8. Trots I've got£20 on Colchester for relegation. Fingers crossed.

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  9. Might also have a few quid on Bolton...

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    Replies
    1. wait and see if we get Stones on loan from Chelsea! I know we'll get Cinders at Christmas.

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  10. Liverpool have done well to get Milner in though. He looked good even in a City side with plenty of big names. I like that new striker that Man Utd signed (about 10 years ago). Or perhaps people will realise that four games as a striker is not a drought and remember Rooney played as a midfielder last year and may take time to re-adjust to being the focal point striker again. Reckon the floodgates will open now.

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  11. This made me smile.

    http://lebuzz.eurosport.co.uk/viral/arsenal-fan-buys-dvd-off-ebay-gets-sent-picture-of-robin-van-persie-instead-2464/

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  12. I did post my condolences on the previous (long awaited) blog but it didn't show. So here they are again.
    As for Stones 40 million is a ridiculous amout.
    I don't want Arsenal spending 50 million on Benzema or anyone else. 15 million for Charlie Austin sounds like a bargain. I don't see the negatives. He scored more goals for QPR than Sanchez or Giroud did for Arsenal.

    Rastafairy

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    1. Dodgy knee apparently. I think that's why no one has bought the guy who scored 15 goals in the PL and is in a relegated team.

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  13. Great Blog Robbo, like the comment about Alcatraz and about the Agents - how much are they getting for this? Stones should play another season for Everton otherwise he'll end up like Scott Parker who arguably wasted the best seasons of his career sitting on the subs bench at Chelski.

    Spider

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  14. Heung on a Min Son, have Spurs really signed a striker?

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  15. Scott Parker, Spider? Reminds me of the Robbo podcast when he and Andy Smart ragged on him for blocking shots (the only stat England were #1) at Euro 2012 - "Stopping people enjoying good goals..." Thanks for the chuckle.

    Great stuff, Robbo - you'd think people would stop buying the Everton product after the performance of the last few (Rodwell to Citeh, Arteta to the Arse, Fellaini to ManUre and arguably the most "successful" of that lot), but I think Everton are right not to sell Stones - unless he'd be loaned back immediately. Plus, as mentioned, we'll see how much crazier things get in January!

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  16. As an Everton fan, our camp is split between those that praise RM's stance (about 75%) and those who think we should take the money (25%, obv). It is a big dilemma for the club. On the one hand if they stick to their guns in an almost unheard of no-means-no stance, it will show these bloody Johnny come latelys with their unfeasibly large wallets, who incidentally are responsible for destroying any sense of real competition in the PL, that money doesn't always get you what you want.
    I actually believe that this will happen for if the board capitulate and sell, we will probably lose our manger too. On the other hand it would be oh so deliciously funny if we sold him to Man Utd instead. Maureen would be fuming.
    This whole sorry saga sums up everything that's wrong with the so-called beautiful game in this benighted isle. I blame Thatcher...for everything.
    Soz...that rambled a tad...blame Jura single malt. I cannae be bothered to spellcheck, either...

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  17. Reckon the price just went up to $50 million after Chelsea's result today.

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  18. The desperation of the competing top for teams to sign a saviour is almost comical. The uncertainties of team chemistry, adapting to English conditions etc. make it a massive gamble. Swansea looked the more precise team versus that man u side, total cost £22 million. The forwards in particular played with a freedom that bring priced at one tenth of a billion quid will never allow

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    1. Reminds me of those "fake" auctions where the"auctioneers" whip the gullible into a hysteric buying frenzy and end up paying silly money for something they could get in Poundland. The pressure is on the clubs who don't want to be seen to be missing out and getting stick from their "fans" (Why didn't we buy Donque or Van Schijte for £50 million - shows we're a small club with no ambition - we need a board that will take the club places....[Yeah, Administration!])

      Spider

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  19. I agree with LVG on the transfer window opening-it's absolutely ridiculous to continue with deals in players after the season (in England and Scotland) had already started. The players should be 'cup-tied' as in (the name says it-) the cup competitions. After four games for one club, how can a player switch mentally to play for somebody else? It's totally hypocritical and unfair towards the fans too (named replica shirts and pledges of loyalty etc).
    ManUtd now have No1 keeper in the country, unsettled for the whole season and then he'll be off on a free transfer next Summer, warming up the bench in the meantime.
    Transfer window should be closed a day before the respective season starts, regardless of the individual FAs. Clubs can sign players on loan during the season, if they want to 'test the water', can't they?

    SashPie

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  20. Transfer fees are now truly through the fucking looking glass. Interesting development that the mid range prem clubs are now c rich enough to tell the predatory big boys go fuck themselves. This might even open up the league and dismantle the top 4 cartel who yup to now have been able to buy yup any potential competitors best players. Look whee Chelsea, Liverpool and spurs are at the moment-nowhere. Man u look pretty shit despite their new over abundance of keepers ( the de gea farce looks like a corporate playground pissing contest to me). I didn't follow it very closely though-did vale manage to sign Messi this year?

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  21. Oh my God - new podcast! And all my dreams have come true...

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    1. Bolt fueled by chicken nuggets, Surreal Madrid, Sterling Silva...comedy gold. Thanks, Robbo 'n' Andy!

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    2. And put me down for "I can't wait for the next one," please.

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  22. that's it, off to teach meself javelin chucking from You Tube. Brilliant stuff.

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    1. and that song should be a hit!

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    2. I can't stop humming it...

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    3. Reminds me of an old SNL bit - a Wheaties Box showing the athlete formerly known as Bruce Jenner being impaled, and the voiceover, "Bruce Jenner wins the Olympic Javelin-catching competition will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you the following special program..."

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  23. I'm really impressed that all Arsenal needed to contend for the premiership was a goalkeeper. Well done Wenger. Or perhaps it shows that top three and maybe a cup is all that the club wants. Hope they reduce the prices for the fans given the lack of ambition.

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    1. And now they have Danny "Injured"beck out till Christmas. It goes from the sublime to the ridiculous.

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  24. Robbo, we're wasting our time here - we can't possibly compete with the news that Mustapha Dumbya has been signed by Partick Thistle as a free agent (apparently, he has played for 8 English Clubs, the last being Notts. County). All my attempts to lampoon the transfer window with dodgy signings such as "N'Gud" (sounds too much like Ngog!) and "Kantit Abarndor" (sounds too much like Adebyor) or that unknown Chinese starlet "Whu He" have been trumped by reality. Honestly with a name like that I'm surprised neither Man Poo or Chelski have offered £50 million for him!

    Spider

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  25. Someone needs to tell Stephen, Bells, and some of the other regulars that Robbo is back!

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  26. Well done Wayne.real achievement. Pity you blew the chance to be a national treasure by being a twat and underperforming for England when it mattered all those years but the numbers speak for themselves. One last contribution to relative English success (semi finals is a triumph for us) in the euros or WC and the smoking, swearing, pissing in alleyways, red mist red cards (2006 WC qfs vs Portugal) cheating on your pregnant wife with prostitute grannies, slagging off fans , being scouse and paying for United plus threatening to leave fur citeh (a three cornered definition of having no loyalty to anything) getting fat and waddling red faced through important England matches..All that forgotten in an instant if you score a few vs Germany in a big tourney...you can do it son.

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  27. Yes indeed. Well done Wayme :-)

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  28. Frankly, the only thing that could astonish me more than Robbo's return and first podcast in a long time would be for RR to blog about F1. C'mon, Robbo, it's Monza! Tradition! History! Lewis Hamilton has a blonde barnet! He's driving by far the best car, and somehow, he's winning the race! Teams are spending enough money to feed and house Hungarian migrants in perpetuity on tyres alone! Ah, come to think of it, I think I've just covered the salient points. Never mind.

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  29. Well worth a read.

    http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/sep/05/germany-football-team-youth-development-to-world-cup-win-2014?CMP=share_btn_tw

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    1. I much prefer the English approach:

      https://youtu.be/__G4RrlGmVk

      Rasta-guess who's back-fairy

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  30. Blogidy,

    Buy this month's When Saturday Comes.4 page review of Vale v Doncaster.

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  31. Broke the record before Rooney - 50!!!!! (oops sorry that's meant to be England goals rather than comments

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