Saturday, 24 December 2011

Robbo's Christmas Carols


No, it’s not 50 cent describing some ladeez on his latest vidjo, it's Father Christmas Robbo-style. I’ve got me Yuletide head on and I’m wishing you all a very merry sherry-filled Christmas.

In between sticking a fork into an underdone turkey, performing the Heimlich manoeuvre on whichever of me young relations has choked on the 10p coin from the Christmas pudding, rushing out for last minute M&S gift tokens and playing ref to a couple of warring piss-headed uncles, I’ve cobbled together a festive blog.

This year, carols to suit all clubs!


At the Emirates we have a sweet rendition of:

Silent Night, Holy Night,
Pass and move, get it right,
Everything is not quite what it seems
Try not to think of the Theatre of Dreams
Robin Van Persie is fi-it!
Robin van Persie is fit.

ASTON VILLA (to the tune of 'O Little Town of Bethlehem')

O little town of Birmingham
Take back our manager
His jowly face
A puce disgrace
He's worse than Houlli-er
We may have lots of po-oh-te-eh-eh-ential
But still we lag behind
Goodbye McLeish
You piece of peesh
Hurray the plank’s resigned!


We Two Kings of Orient Are
Selling chucks from the back of a car
Fucking over
Blackburn Rovers
Doing it from afar, O oh.....

BOLTON WANDERERS (To the tune of 'Stop the Cavalry')

Hey Mr Gartside comes over here to say we’re doing splendidly
Owen’s positive, we are scared stiff, cos we're lying in the bottom three
Gartside’s hanging tough, Cahill’s had enough,
He’s buggered off to Chelsea.

CHELSEA (To the tune of Slade's 'Merry Christmas')

So here it is Terry Christmas
Everybody’s staying mum
Yes he’s the skipper but
That don’t mean he’s not scu-uh-ummmm!

EVERTON (to the tune of 'Good King Wenceslas')

Good King David Moyes looked out
On the Feast of Stephen
Asked Bill Kenwright ‘is it true
We are breaking even?’
‘There’s no chance of that’ said Bill
‘We are flaming brassic.’
‘Please don’t sell that Jack Rodwell.’
‘We have, mate!’
‘That’s just classic!’

FULHAM (to the tune of 'God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen')

God rest you merry cottagers, let nothing you dismay
Remember that you hardly ever win when you’re away
You’re getting poorer and Zamora doesn’t want to stay
No-oh tidings of Comfort and Jol, Comfort and Jol
No-oh tidings of Comfort and Jol.

LIVERPOOL (to the tune of 'Hark the Herald Angels Sing')

Hark a Horrid Racist Sings
But not to Kenny the King
T-shirts on, an act of hubris
We all love to back our Luis
So he might have said a word
It’s not one we’ve never heard
Sepp Blatter would just shake hands
Not just give out eight-week bans
Hark the Horrid Racist Sings
But we didn’t Hear a Goddam thing.

MAN CITY (to the tune of 'Away in a Manger')

Away from Manchester
No penny is spared
To bring to the city
Some new millionaire
In all of their pockets
The finances stench
Not enough for the Gaucho
Who sits on the bench.

The Poznan is jumping
They score when they like
The boss smiles so happy
(Looks a bit like a dike?)
The league title beckons
It’ll be on the shelf
If young Balotelli
Doesn’t blow up himself.

MAN UTD (to the tune of 'Deck the Halls')

Of all coaches Fergie’s cleverer
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Not as smart as Patrice Evra
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

It will be so very pleasin’
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
If they win fuck-all this season
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

NEWCASTLE UTD (to the the tune of 'Winter Wonderland')

Mike Ashley is gettin’ meaner
At the Sports Direct Arena
All that they can pretend
At the Gallowgate End
Is that they end higher than Sunderland.

(To the tune of 'Ding Dong Merrily on High')

Ding dong we are flying high
The tractor boys are crappy
Ding dong we have lovely pie
Canaries all are happy
Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelia in excelsis.

QPR (To the tune of 'The Holly and the Ivy')

The Joey and the Warnock
When they have had their moan
The Warnock gets on the pundit’s coach
But the Barton tweets alone.

(to the tune of 'The First Nowell')

The first go-al
It came from a throw
Hurled up from our Rory
It came down with snow
Shawcross or The Crouch
Kenwynne or the Huth
One of them’s going get it
And that is the truth

O Hell, O hell, O hell, O hell,
Stoke City do love a set piece Go-al.

SUNDERLAND (To the tune of 'I Saw Three Ships')

I saw two shits come flailing by
On Sat-day night, on Sat-day night!
They trashed a car and then took flight
On Sat-day night Sunday morning

The policemen took em to the cell
On Sat-day night on Sat-day night
Titus Bramble was there as well
On Sat-day night Sunday morning.

(to the tune of 'Once in Royal David's City')

Once in Royal St. David’s City
Cardiff reached the play-off stage
Still they couldn’t win the big one
Dave Jones got the sack in rage.
Saw some Swans go floating by
Felt a tear come from his eye

No one knows who plays for Swansea
Apart from that Scott Sinclair
Bluebirds fans just sit and simmer
Disbelieving that they’re there
Soon they think they’ll take that crown
Cos the Swans will come straight back down

TOTTENHAM (Or rather Yuletide with 'Arry, to the tune of Nat King Cole's 'Merry Christmas')

My nuts roasting on an open fire
Taxman rifling through my clothes
Though I’ve heard it said, many times, many ways,
Harry’s Christmas, subject closed.

I’ll just settle watching Gareth Bale
Flames just flicking off his toes
And I’ll hope that whatever the courtroom decides
I’ll be free when Capello goes.

WEST BROM (to the tune of 'The Sussex Carol')

On Hodgson's watch all Baggies sing
To see Odemwingie on the wing
Sometimes he's soft as Christmas pud
but sometimes he is weally good.

WOLVES (To the tune of 'In the Bleak Midwinter')

In the bleak midwinter
Mick will slowly freeze
As another ref turns
Down two penalties

The first one was nailed-on
The second one stonewall
Mick just throws his head back
How he hates football.

WIGAN (To the tune of 'While Shepherds Watch')

While others watch their box at night
Martinez trawls the earth
To find an obscure midfielder
That might just prove his worth

And though they may be playing to
A crowd of twenty-five
Roberto fills his men with cheer
And keeps the dream alive.


  1. Great effort Robbo! Merry Xmas to you

  2. Merry Christmas Robbo.

    All the best to the lads on here as well.

  3. Top notch stuff Robbo. A briliant piece.

    All the blessings of the season to one and all.

  4. Wonderful songwriting/adapting, but how about some Hanukkah tunes next year?

    Season's greetings, all!

  5. Brilliant stuff Robbo, can we have the double CD set next year, iTunes maybe? Merry Christmas one and all.

  6. The Bishop of Blackburn, the Right Reverend Nicholas Reade, says that people aggressively chanting for Rovers boss Steve Kean to be sacked need to show more compassion.

    They'll start bashin' the bishop next.

  7. Merry Crimble, Robbo, keep up the good work!

  8. Liverpool now wearing shirts in support of Charlie Adams. he he .

  9. Lovely Blog Robbo,

    A happy festive season to you and your loved ones.

  10. Roses are red
    violets are bluish
    If it wasn't for christmas
    wed all be Jewish

  11. Bought a new Van Persie tray for Xmas.

    It carries 10 mugs.

  12. I was 9 before I realised Xmas wasnt noddy holders birthday

  13. Now I carefully explain to my boys that its not all about material things chocolate and stuff, but in fact the true meaning of Christmas is the birth of baby santa

  14. Did you hear the one about the joke with the missing punchline?

  15. Nice blog Robbo. Happy Xmas, fella.

    Well done vale good away win.

    I see RBA unplugged the floodlights at the shots game. Don't blame him.

  16. Wish some fucker had pulled the plug at Brisbane Road... 0-3 to MK Dons.. fuck christmas.

  17. Boro win, LIverpool and Chelsea dont. Happy days.

  18. Merry christmas one and all. Drink lots and be safe.

  19. BojanglesOfOz said...
    Wish some fucker had pulled the plug at Brisbane Road... 0-3 to MK Dons.. fuck christmas.

    Could've been worse Bo. You could be a Col U fan. We lost 6-1 at home to Stevenage today.

  20. Cheers Col... that does make me feel a bit better. Just hope the gunners can do the job tonight.

  21. from the beeb...

    Chelsea manager Roman Abramovich has booked American rock band Red Hot Chili Peppers to play his New Year's Eve bash on St Barts.

    Chelsea manager? what the fuck is AVB doing then?

    Not much it woud seem

  22. MEN of the world, say a collective ouch and wish this man a speedy recovery

  23. oh my lord. hurts to just read that article.

  24. AnfieldHopeful said...
    How fuckin awesome is that..Number 1 at christmas in Jacks league...mwahahahaha.
    Noel said...
    AH, Mr Blobby was also once Number 1 at Christmas. Where's he now??

    I'll let you know in a bit Noel as Im headed the same way as him. Worst week in FFL history for me sees me a bale-hatrick away from losses in both H2Hs and the Cup. Which idiot decided the cup should start from this week ?

  25. AnfieldHopeful said...

    oh my lord. hurts to just read that article.

    what part?

  26. I was holding myself in the gnads halfway through the article. Similar reaction everytime I see a banana being sliced open.

  27. Well fuck me..bale comes through when I needed him the most..not a hat-trick but his brace sees me win one and the remaining 2 to be decided on bonus points now.

  28. Score a goal for Granny.

  29. Morning.

    I trust we all had a good festive?

  30. AnfieldHopeful said...
    AnfieldHopeful said...
    How fuckin awesome is that..Number 1 at christmas in Jacks league...mwahahahaha.
    Noel said...
    AH, Mr Blobby was also once Number 1 at Christmas. Where's he now??

    I'll let you know in a bit Noel as Im headed the same way as him. Worst week in FFL history for me sees me a bale-hatrick away from losses in both H2Hs and the Cup. Which idiot decided the cup should start from this week ?

    I don't know who followed Mr Blobby to Number 1, but I've followed AH and am now sitting pretty atop Jacks' league. Booya!

  31. Morning all. I'm 10th in both normal leagues and 16th and 5th in the Robbo Blog H2H and Jacks H2H leagues respectively. And it looks like I've scraped through in the cup as well. After last years disaster of narrowly avoiding relegation and going out in the first round of the cup the Chairman is happy with the progress we're making.

  32. FFL wise I'm currently ploughing on in a sea of averageness.

    Still,pleased to see non customers of mine top of my shop league.....

  33. If it was geographically possible Jacks, I'd be round for a trim. My barber seems to take 2 months off at Christmas leaving me with an afro.

  34. Have to start calling you Winston then Noel.....

  35. @jacksofbuxton:

    Good one I hope jacks. Quiet on all fronts for me exactly how I like it

    Meanwhile disturbing footage of the man utd Christmas party has emerged, with colleen looking appalled

    One of us! One of us! SAF knows how to build team identity!

  36. Fuck me, I'd be right at home in that group Blog.

  37. Now that I've gotten over the christmas hangover, time for the real deal. bring on the new years eve festivities.

    Man, I love bonus points. Actually managed to win all 3 games with a 1 pt victory in the Cup.

    Wow..less than 50 pts diff between the No 1 and No 10 in the regular leagues. This is a tight season.

  38. Suarez given an immedite ban of one match for giving the finger to Fulham fans.

    Will miss the game vs. Newcastle.

    While i dont like the twat one bit, this is a ridiculous thing by the FA. How about controlling the abusive chanting by the fans? Its mighty easy with all the cameras on the ground plus each steward has a helmet mounted camera too. Well, most clubs have them.

  39. Gillingham winger Chris Whelpdale is hoping to be fit for Friday night's game with Dagenham & Redbridge - despite suffering from a split scrotum.

    That's the spirit, sign him up Owen.

  40. Aye, poor lad, even his missus had a chuckle.

  41. Yes that's right Kenny, Carroll isn't struggling, what suarez said wasn't racist and the shitehawks on the Liver Building don't flap their wings when a large breasted woman walks beneath them (ive seen this with my own eyes)

  42. Apparently suarez is saying a raised middle finger means "one boiled egg for breakfast tomorrow please, Ma" in Uruguay

  43. Now very worried about my clubs continued existence.

    The last thing the outgoing CEO did before he quit was mortgage the fucking ground to some shyster in gibraltar. Were doomed. It's all foretold in the Mayan calendar.

  44. I kinda feel a little bit guilty about all the shit that Suarez is going through lately because before he even arrived in the UK I sort of warned everybody that he was a bit of a shit so that may of turned people against him and therefore he never really got a fair chance.

    I jest of course and would just like to say;

    Na na na na na,
    I told you he was a toerag with a creamy cunt filling wrapped up in a tossbucket shell.

  45. You'll have to excuse me, I'm a little in shock.

    I just finished up behind my bar and I was told that it was almost 8 o clock.

    I never realised that there was an 8 o clock in the morning.


  46. blogdignag said...

    Good one I hope jacks. Quiet on all fronts for me exactly how I like it


    It was busy and noisy Blogs,exactly how I like it to be.Girls full of beans,nothing better.

    Too much Speckled Hen,but lovely none the less.

  47. H2, if I didn't know better I'd say you wasn't a fan of Suarez.

  48. WENGER: I have given it a thought & considered the Pros & Cons to reach the decision: You may sign Henry on a 2 month loan.

  49. Can't imagine why you would think such a thing BO.

  50. I mean Bo, sorry, it wasn't my intention to shout ;)

  51. I feel a Port Vale Woes Blog coming on. Maybe two of our own famous bloggers could collaborate and use the proceeds to save the club from Gibraltan terrorists?

  52. Henry loan deal to be confirmed soon.

    7 hours. thats how long it takes for someone at Arsenal to read this blog and convey the message to Wenger. Inefficient.

  53. Apparently, in light of Henry's return to the Arsenal, redknapp has rung up Hoddle and Waddle.

  54. eggsactly trott, me amigo.

    Your team may be playing shite football but you still got the eye and taste of a man who has fine eye and taste if summat dodgy back (how is it by the way)?

  55. the back's good thanks Spitster. Not 100% but we're getting there. I hang by me ankles 3 times a week, get cracked by the chiropractor and hit the gym regular as clockwork. Pelvic thrusts are the answer! No relapses with club in hand and the brace is stuffed in a drawer somewhere. I might get called to the Reebok soon! In fact, life would be perfect if I just had a 9pt lead in the ffsl.

  56. 4am. Pot noodle. Heavy cold. Just switched off a shops Smoke Cloak (designed to make burglars think the shop self destructs in the event of burglary.)

    Does life get any better than this?

  57. Trotts. You know what buddy an amazing thing happened to me yesterday.... My 9 yr old asked for a metal detector for Xmas so we went prospecting for artefacts. A local legend going back nearly 20 years has it that boudicca is buried under the co-op in the village.

    Anyway after some time, we found this ancient pot. Looked to me of middle eastern provenance, probably mesopotamian. I carefully unearthed it and a genie appeared, wearing a smoke cloak..Master says the Genie you have one wish. Anything you like.

    Su I drew a picture of Europe with a stick in the dirt and said, this is England, germany France, Holland. Here's Greece, Portugal, here's Scandinavia, the eastern bloc... what I want you to do is unite these disparate peoples together within a European Union framework, with a common currency, government, a president everyone respects and good will amongst nations.

    The Genie just laughed and said don't be ridiculous it can't be done.

    Why not I said.

    -History, culture, economic differences, the French. Sorry. Can't be done. Impossible.

    I thought for a while and said well ok then, instead id like you to solve Port Vale's economic problems and secure promotion to League 1.

    The Genie said - let me have another look at that map of Europe....

  58. Well I'm off on a road trip for a few weeks to take in some of the sights of this vast country. I'm leaving my FFL team in the hands of my autopilot, knowing that when I left everything was going well.

    Wishing everyone a happy new year. Especially Jonny Wilkinson, obviously.

  59. Ho ho fucking ho.........Its great having a job and all but when you're the only one who has to work over Christmas it sucks balls! Any comments of your sincerest sympathies would be most welcome.

    Also if anyone is in Derry you could do me a huge favour, if you could start a small fire on the ground floor of Magazine Studios so I can go home and play Assassin's Creed, it would be most appreciated.

  60. Morning all

    Back from the Xmas break, on the dark side, mainly because we did something different, didnt watch TV, just ate, drank, talked played games(no not those sort) ventured out with my footy scout friend to watch Watford v Cardiff, there bumped into 2 of my antiheroes Barnsley Bigmouth and Neil Pillock.
    I know I keep going on about BBM, but maybe McCarthy is occasionally spouting common sense(his team did good the following day at the Ars)

  61. Blog
    Sorry to hear about the cretins in the boardroom.

    Maybe you should invite Gloria G to sing to them as they come out

  62. Have fun Noel and try not to be a cunt.

    Carroll for a hat-trick today against the geordies ..woohoo. I've obviously had too much to drink.

  63. Greatest goal my arse. Should have been titled "A great goal helped a lot by shocking defending". Always thought Carragher was shite.

  64. Rod, From your link;

    "Arsenal's all-time leading goalscorer Thierry Henry scoring what he described in an interview with Arsenal TV as the "greatest" goal of his career"

    In his personal opinion it was his greatest goal, nothing to do with your arse. ;)

    ps, You're not the only one who worked over Chrimbo me ol' matey, I'll be working New Years Eve and Day too.

    So just in case I don't get the chance I'd like to wish you, all my follow Robboites and The good gent himself, a Happy, Healthy and Wealthy 2012.

  65. H - gelukkig nieuwjaar.

    And happy new year to the rest of you too.

    2011 was a bit crappy but there's a few things to look forwards towards in 2012... the Olympics, Scottish independence and the end of the universe next December, so .... here's tae us ; wha's like us? dam few – and they're a' deid!

  66. Tone, cheers.... the club doesn't deserve the plutocrats who seem to end up in charge by various clandestine and no doubt nefarious means, fan protests have become part of the clubs culture. Pity. It's like a little microcosm of the country though ain't it.

    Having said that were still two places ahead if the millers....

  67. Prettige Jaarwissling Blogs, me oude gabber.

  68. Unlucky IOU, for once the eye of the needle has been blocked;

  69. There's a closure notice on the village co-op now Blog, pending geological dig nag.

    Best get the shoppin' done before the game begins.

    Happy New Year one and all and thank-you Robbo for keeping it real and your blog alive!

  70. I remember when this was all fields.

  71. Happy New Year to all.

    May your team be promoted/avoid relegation/win trophies.

    Apart form Un**ed that is.

  72. Nostalgias not what it used to be.

  73. I remember when people thought Carry On films were funny.

  74. I remember when Arsenal were unbeatable.

  75. I remember when Olympic Games opening ceremonies were more than a rocket in a milkbottle

  76. I remember...............amnesia

  77. a Happy New Year to one and all, wherever you may be, and which ever team you support, incl IOU

    Oh bollox, did I really write that last bit.

    Esp ROBBO for keeping us entertained, and letting us chew on everything

  78. one of best Xmas DVD, Mickey Flanagan, Out, Out
    Doing fuck all
    The lost art of fingering
    and obviously
    Out, out

  79. Avoid resolutions,
    Party hard,
    Drink as much you like,
    Keep It Simple,
    Happy Hangover
    Welcome 2012 in pomp and may your clubs win today.


  80. mornin' Lads, Happy Birthday SAF.

  81. Happy Birthday Fergie.

    ManU 2:3 Bottom team.

  82. Thanks to Robbo and all the lads for a barrel load of laffs and the occasional serious point (i think one came up in February and then again in August) . Hope you all have a fucking brilliant 2012.

    I'm off to get mildly bladdered.

    If for some reason you struggle to get to sleep tonight check out mcnumptys latest bland statement of the bleeding innocuous and the tedious comments it attracts. I went there just to see if he gets more comments than Robbo (no) but they did ask me to complete a survey in which I laid out my.opinions including Bring Back Robbo.....what kind of media outfit organisation bins its most popular and best sports Blogger and keeps hapless old Phil? I'm absolutely sure Robbo would still be on there if he hadn't attracted such traffic like cancelling east enders because too many people were watching.


  83. Well done blackburn. So kean keeps hid job for another week + I know SAF sent a note of support to kean before the match but this is taking Xmas good will too far, fergie.

  84. Best two scores of the day

    Manu 2 BR 3
    Chelski 1 Villans 3

  85. I remember 1-nil to the Arsenal like it was half an hour ago...

  86. Happy New Year to one and all.

    May the new year be more joyous and prosperous than all those before and may your loved ones all be safe and happy.

    And for the Germans, have a nice slip.

  87. Spit
    "And for the Germans, have a nice slip"

    das hab' ich gut verstanden

    must ring up some of my jerry friends at 11

  88. tone,

    dont you ever hear, "gutes rutsch ins neu jahr" ?

  89. All the time when I finished for Weihnachten

  90. So it would seem that not only is Luis Suarez a racist (my word not the commission who found him guilty of making racist comments but said he wasn't racist) but he is also a liar (after they said his testimony was "unreliable"). Definitely in te starting line up for the Cunt of the Year XI.

    And Happy New Year to Robbo and all who post or lurk here.

  91. Un**ed 2 v Blackburn 3

    Ferguson: Third goal was a killer.

    No shit Shirlock.

  92. Has Rooney royally fucked up at Un**ed, or is it just more media bullshit.

  93. Bollox.

    After watching this video, Mancity have placed a mega offer to sign another player on from Arsenal

  94. Could Warnoch have made a bigger wanker of himself after the Arsenal game? No he could not have.

  95. Happy New Year!!

    Stayed open ’till around 7am, went to bed (although I can’t remember doing so) and I had to be up at 10:30 for a NYD drinky/reception.

    Woke up on time (god knows how) to find that the whole village was suffering a power cut.

    No electricity = no coffee etc, for the guests, but ofcourse there was absolutly nothing I could do about it. The power just came back on about half an hour ago, but most had already left.

    O well, look on the bright side, things can only get better from now on

  96. Spit,

    Neil Warnock is an anagram of Colin Wanker. That's all you need to know about him.

    Calling RvP a cheat? But no mention of the elbow from Taarabt or the killer tackle from Joey Deacon Barton, what a cunt.

    Another thing, the sub standard refereeing was once again shameful. The highlight from a catologue of terrible decisions was TV getting a yellow card for a tackle made by Kos. Atkinson was a joke.

    And it's not just the decisions going against Arsenal that are bad, last week for instance, I thought the Wolves player who got sent off was treated rather harshly, a yellow would of been more fitting, especialy when you consider what Song had got away with moments before, but that ref had also lost control of the game.

    Wigan also had a player sent off in dubious circumstances last week, not to mention the penalty that Everton got against Sunderland.

    There are now too many refs who are simply not up to the task. The FA really needs to do something and quick before the game turns into a farce. Either train people properly or give them the technology they need to do their job better.

  97. one, very practical and realistic solution. Give the 4th offical a telly and power to over-rule any mistakes the on ground ref makes. Other than that, let the game carry one.

  98. Can't do that Spit...

    It's way too simple.

  99. And a happy new fucking year to ManCiteh as well :)

  100. If Carlsberg (official sponsor of Arsenal) did New Year's Football weekend....

  101. What a nightmare, H. Lots of hungover dutch people sitting in the dark with no a scene from an old horror movie .. Listen to them. The children of the night. What music they make...

  102. Shocking week for me in the FFL. Only scored 27 points and lost both H2H matches. Drew in the cup and went out on goals scored. My opponent also got 27 points which included Van Persie as captain getting 18 points. My team didn't manage a single goal between them and I got knocked out because my oppo's team scored 1 goal.

  103. Just found out that I got knocked out because Van Persie got 3 bonus points (which was doubled to 6 as captain) and that's what got my oppo the draw. I bloody hate FFL.

  104. 3 disgruntled zombies sit in darkness

    Zombie 1: thish coffeesh fuckin cold. and de trivia masshines broke
    Zombie2: 4 euros for beer nuts and they call US the evil fuckin dead
    Zombie3: yawohl, ze clientele in ze Dungheap iz gone down zr hill since ze English pig dog is taking over.
    Zombie1: ayy come on Herman no need to get rashcist on thish one. Not until I get my bishicle back you cunt.
    Zombie3: fuck you you iz eating my cat
    (zombies fight, slowly. The lights come back on)
    Zombie2: come on boysh time to shamble

  105. Hard luck Colch, cup football is tough. I scraped into the hat with the last 500,000 but I know it'll end with a dose of cruel heartbreak. Still, there's always 2013.

  106. trott,

    not sure about 2013 are we?

  107. I agree with you trott, I'm writing off 2012.

    2013 I'm also not sure about so I plan to get wrecked, eat a pork pie, drop a few surmontil-50s and come up smiling in 2014

  108. one of hte nicer Liverpudlians has passed away, RIP Gary Ablett.

  109. Spit

    Agree your sentiments, won FA Cup with both the Reds and Blues of Liverpool

  110. I am sure I am not alone in thinking that before the FA report came out, I thought 8 game bad was apt but now I thnik Suarez has gotton off really easy.

    The Liverpool FC have couvered themselves in shite by following a rather misguided campaign where they want us to believe Suarez is the victim.

  111. Ban Liverpool for 8 matches. Their defence is suarez was both amateurish and disgraceful. Do these people not have grown ups to advise them? One accusation levelled at evra was he's lying as he was angry after LOSING THE TOSS. I mean fucking hell it's playground stuff

  112. they coul dhave just told Suarez to say sorry, keep his gob shut otherwise and serve the ban and the whole thing would be out of the news world. By insisting on dragging it, they are not hurting anyone but themselves.

    BAN LFC!

  113. Frimpong starting for Wolves against Chelsea. Lovely.

  114. The top two teams have a positive combined goal difference of 69.

    The bottom 4 teams have a negative combined goal difference of 69.

    The year is 20 12 so if you take the 20 and add the 1+2 you get 23. If you multiply that by the number of times Bolton won the cup in the 20's, you get 69. There's no such thing as coincidences!

  115. Thats amazing, trott! ...1969 - the year vale were let back into the league after being kicked out for dodgy dealings!

  116. I was worse off than you last gameweek colch. Lost all 3 of my games owing to a fighting 16 pts. All 3 of my oppos had RVP as the capt who outscored my entire team. This week could be going the same way (well almost the same seeing as I dont have the cup to worry about any more).

  117. Was Mickey Adams with Nat Lofthouse in the Davinci Code too?

  118. 69 was always special, even the year was great, especially the summer.

  119. The Texas Commission for the Blind, who's sole responsibilty is to supply support for the visually impaired in the workplace, was charged by teh US Department of Justice with discrimination. They were found guilty of issuing printed employee maanuals but not making them available in Braille for it's visually impaired workers. The had to pay $55,000 to settle claims. It seems the Commission was out of mind and out of sight.

  120. Bureaucracies destroy intelligence, Bo.

  121. Bradley Johnson out-bartoned barton. Nowt to be proud of....

  122. This is brillaint

    Next up, Suarez's mug shot on cockroach killer...

    Tevez's mug on anti-constipation laxatives....

    the possibilities are fucking endless...


    hahaha...dont know what terry's complaining about..probably the first time he's done something useful for the public, albeit, unintentionally.

  124. Should be balotelli on there, spit

  125. I could understand it if it was a govt drive vs stds

  126. The Fire department should have Balotelli on its posters ...

    Ashley Cole as face of NRA?... But they might have an issue with his skin colour..., pardon, color

    Frank Lampard... Pukka Pies...


    as I said, ENDLESS...

  127. Only taken our Police and Justice system 18 years but atlast they have convicted the racist murderers of Stephen Lawrence.

    hope that helps his family and loved ones to come to terms with the tragedy.

  128. Only 2 of the scum, spit, the acourts, and knight are next.

    I've closely followed this case with dismay over the years - I was living in eltham at the time it happened (what a mistake....south east London is an incredible shithole) and went on the march against the bnp HQ over the hill in welling.

    what struck me was that everyone in the community knew within days who had done it. I've never seen any explanation of how everyone knew surely not all the sources were anonymous...who told them? Did the police not ask? Probably not.

    my own small involvement on the periphery of this personal tragedy still colours my response to fucktards like suarez who seem to have zero understanding of how deep into human depravity racism can lead

  129. Blog,

    for a waste majority of people, racism and how fucking shite it feels to be treated badly on account of being a minority, would never be clear.

    Unless you, your self, or someone very close to you is mistreated not because of their actions but because of what race/ethnicity/heritage (whatever) they are, it may always appear to be not as serious.

  130. appols for the typo there, wanted to say wast not waste.

  131. the top two teams have a positive goal difference of 72.

    the bottom four teams have a negative goal difference of 72.

    ahhh fuck it

  132. 72! Trott! Incredible ....that's the very same year vale had massive hooliganism problems, went 10 games without scoring, suffered board room issues (The Sentinel's Chris Harper stated that "Vale will never make progress while they are plagued by trouble at the top") and worst of all stoke won the league cup.

    But! We made a profit of £596. It's an omen!

  133. Blog, totally agre with your comments re Stephen Lawrence and Suarez (hopefully John Terry will end up in the slammer for his abuse of Anton Ferdinand too).

    Just what the hell do LFC think they're playing at, though? They're not appealing the verdict, but putting it about that it's totally unfair, and getting the players to support the little sh1t. Comes over like they don't give a toss about the issue.


  134. "trouble at the top"? '72 is 40 years ago, 40 is double top so this year will be even worse than '72. Holy cow, it was written, the Mayans were right.

  135. Ninja ... latest news just in is that Liverpool will appear on Saturday in dobson and Norris are innocent t-shirts

  136. *ninja meant jedi, f-ing prescripted texture

  137. Ab even worse rumour...vale about to go into administration .... woulda thought blue sky investments would take us into blue square oblivion

  138. Cahill is unhappy with the personal terms on offer at chelsea

    He's insisting they remove the 'john terry can shaft your wife' clause in the contract

  139. port vale going into administration would be terrible blog.

    I suppose no local businesman done well is interested into taking over?

  140. Funny thing is spit there's a guy called mo chaudrey...local curry magnate... who wanted to invest but there's a shady bunch of pinstriped cunts in there who've calculated they'll screw more money out if the club this way.

    It's still a rumour at the moment, but mickey Adams is starting to complain su maybe hell be off as well.

    £21 to watch a kick and rush league 2 team in a deprived and run down area is not s serious business plan

  141. its a shame blog,

    I'd personally, rather a local businessman named mo than a foreigner suger daddy named mikhail.

    Still plenty of cunts who'd rather see a club go down than see someone with a darker skin tone take it over.

  142. i once had a magnet in me curry. I took a shit shortly after and the toilet chain got wrapped around me nuts.

  143. Classic comment on German Sky,

    "newcastle take the lead at St James Park or whatever its called these days"

  144. and they say ze germans dont have a sense of humour...

  145. Trotts - lmfao! as the kids say

    Spit who knows what's going on there, not me. It will be very sad if, for the first time since 1969 ee get chucked out of the league.

    STOP PRESS I hear vale have just! found a new sponsor. Vale park will now be known ad Poundland.

  146. with another French player scoring for him, Pardew might get all confused as to what team he's managing.

  147. BLoody 'ell,

    now even the oppsoing keepers are scoring aginast Bolton.

    As I said, bloody 'ell.

  148. yeah, Tim Howard spotted Bogdan off his line!

  149. And another frenchie for the barcodes

    great og from Jones

  150. Well I must say, I most deffinitely enjoyed this evening. :)

  151. Spurs can go equal on points with Man U with a win at Everton this weekend (and if Bolton can beat them, then spurs can probably make up the 13 goal lead that Man U have on them. Just kidding trotts.). I have never ever wanted anyone but liverpool to win anything, but man I'd probably be as happy as Noel if Spurs took the title this season.

    For sure, Fergie's going to splash on Sneijder in Jan (if he can pay him enough to give up CL for the youre-hopeless league). Man U's midfield is in tatters.

  152. Agreed, that was a game worth seeing

    SAFs face was a picture, wonder if he brought a hairdryer with him

  153. Fergie got his team selection all wrong (he might have won shite loads but he's human, innit)

    4wingers + 2 strikers vs. a fiesty midfield and 2 strikers built like bulls?

    How could it work.

    Full credit to Pardew. He go this game spot on.

  154. AH, not so optimistic about Liverpool anymore eh?

    though i do see your point. Being a gooner its very hard to say so but it is becoming increasingly clear that Spurs have a very good squad that can go all the way. (Still wouldnt go as far as wishing that happnens though :D)

    that said, the quality of EPL has dropped so much, its astonishing. Apart from Man city and Spurs the rest have average players all around the park. And those two are not in Europe. The Barcas and Real Madrids of the world must laugh at the prospect of playing EPL teams in the champs league.

    As for Arsenal, Wenger must thank heavens that the other teams namely IOU, Chelsea and Liverpool have bought so badly and so expensively, when he didnt even bother splashing any kind of cash, so we are still in with a decent chance of making the top four. But it will be more a failure of others than his achievement.


  155. Trott you'll be ok if they play like that. Ngog looked good

  156. Wtf...the offside rule on the 50p piece? Can we now expect a can of carlsberg special on the £ coin and the queen eating a pie on the tenner?

  157. the old blue fiver you could fold to make it look like the queen was giving Wellington a blowjob. Bring that one back instead.

  158. Beezee..I think the most optimistic of liverpool fans would only hope of a top 4 finish this year, and I am still believing that can happen. Spurs are due a bad run at some point and if 'arry gets too involved with his court case, then that could impact them as well, but it would be nice to see a team that plays brave and entertaining footy win the league.

  159. Ngog To The Top ......I say!

    He looked like a carbon copy of Mandy until he scored but a good attitude and a bit of luck goes a long way.

    The top three have a positive goal difference of 85 which corresponds to the negative 85 of the bottom 5 teams.

  160. .......statistical proof that the tears of the world are a constant quality trott. Smile and someone else, somewhere, begons to weep. Which is why I try not to.

  161. Brief Vale update.

    Mickey Adams quoted in The Sentinel as saying the board aren't giving him the money he was promised for January.Players had been put in place etc etc then bang no cash Mickey.

    They'll be bringing Jim Gannon back next.

  162. Blog, I'll go with Ninja Jedi then!

    Good time to be a Spurs fan, I have to say. Possible challenge for the title (I still reckon top 4 is more realistic), and doing it playing good footie. Some comedy from Manyoo yesterday, time for the Beetroot to hang up the hairdryer?

    Only downside for Spurs: can't see 'Arry being the manager next season. Whether that's due to managing HM football team or pleasuring Her Maj (sorry, at her Maj's pleasure) we still don't know.

    Ninja Jedi

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