Wednesday 7 December 2011

Out With the Dead Wood, AVB!

Andre Villas-Boas didn’t waste any time getting his retaliation in after Chelsea’s 3-0 tonking of Valencia. And you can’t blame him. Journos (and me) have been forming an orderly queue to gently push him off Roman’s slippery pedestal, and then his team came up trumps.

"3-0! Nyah-nyah-nee-ner-ner!"

There is a fair bit of spine in the Portuguese lad, isn’t there? This week Alex and, more predictably, Anelka have been put in the show-room window. Nicolas got a sign round his neck saying ‘Many previous owners, but very few smiles on the clock.’ Anelka has never been more than a sub’s bench away from a teenage strop his whole career. Enigma? Nightmare, more like.

Frank Lampard has the face of a man watching some joyriders take his Ferrari for a spin. ‘Course Frank has come back strong before but you can’t help feeling he ought to take a leaf out of his missus’s book and take a short vacation.

The escudo’s dropped for AVB. Having not wielded the new broom soon enough, there’s a sense that the axe is being primed for the greatest clear-out of dead wood since Pinocchio became a real boy. What gives him renewed confidence is the way certain players have flourished, Sturridge being the obvious example.

Some of his finishing at the Sports Clobber Going Cheap Stadium on Saturday was a little Heskeyian (hard and true and straight at the keeper) but Heskey would never have managed create such situations in the first place. Add to that a great eye for a pass and you’re looking at the best English forward in our league on current form.

Juan Mata has settled well, even if you suspect that there ought to be some sort of Hans Blix-led FIFA delegation sent into Spanish training camps to see whether they’re simply cloning Xavis and Iniestas in a topnotch laboratory somewhere.

Didier Drogba, who’s been trying to thumb a taxi out of the Bridge for three years, seems to have at the very least told the cabbie to leave the meter running while he pops inside to tidy things up. In fact getting him on side is a bit like getting the bull to hold the red cloak while you straighten your side-parting.

AVB bleated about the unfair scrutiny of the press in the post-match conference and while you can understand his yah-boo attitude, I don’t quite know what he was expecting. Chelsea managers don’t get the benefit of the doubt, not least cos it’s hard not to think of Roman Abramovich without picturing his index finger being drawn across his throat.

But surely there’s no point in employing a 34-year-old if you’re not thinking long-term. And long-term means that the old boys’ network needs ripping up sooner rather than later.

Of course, AVB suggested that Man City have not been subject to the same pressures but then maybe he wasn’t here when people were smirking about Mancini’s stuttering squad not that long ago. But old Roberto has been wielding his own weaponry in recent months.

His squad is as deep as the Marianas Trench which always means there’s someone with his own axe to grind. Kolo Toure is the latest Grinch, and given the amount of time he’s spent with nowt to do it’s hardly surprising that he’s been sitting around with his chopper in his hand.

Back in your usual seat, Kolo!

Toure’s latest lament can be best summarised as ‘Is it cos I is African?’ To which the answer is ‘No, you pillock, it’s cos you failed a drugs test.’ He argues that playing in the African Nations Cup puts him and his fellow Africans at a disadvantage. I just don’t see that. Kompany and Lescott are playing well and neither of them have bloodstreams with a suspicious composition.

Frankly young Kolo is still in work and that’s a bonus for anyone these days. I mean I haven’t seen such a misguided response since Rio came back from his absent-minded absence of 8 months and asked for a pay rise.

Every manager these days will tell you of the importance of having at least two teams to pick from. Mancini’s got getting on for seven as a far as I can tell. The price you pay for going to a club that’s got money dripping from its portals like sweat from Mike Ashley’s sauna is that you may find yourself having to be patient.

Lamps may seethe, Kolo may cavil, but if the team does better without you then wait your fucking turn and stop whingeing.

In the meantime we can still hope that financial might not win the day this season. Take that with a Siberian excavation of salt as I’m talking about Spurs. Gooners aside, Arry’s lot are certainly the neutral’s favourite this season. It’s not just Neil Warnock giving them warm applause.

Modric still weeps when he thinks that he could be playing midfield with John Obi Mikel

Modric is player of the season, if you ask me (Van Persie’s coming up on the rails). He controls the reins of that team like a tiny jockey in charge of a mighty stallion. Its galloping flanks are Bale and Lennon, its thumping heart is Scott Parker and if you want the odd award for presentation you’ve got Van der Vaart and Adebayor.

Redknapp’s said they can win it this season. Most of us wouldn’t be quite so bold, but it’s good to hear an Englishman speaking about a football team with a bit of conviction. And if the gaffer can steer clear of other convictions into the New Year, then you just never know.

355 comments:

  1. Spurs and City, they'll both have their wobbles.

    All clubs do. They always have a wobble, dont they?

    ReplyDelete
  2. brap brap first

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Spanish do have previous when it comes to sport and laboratories.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operaci%C3%B3n_Puerto_doping_case

    ReplyDelete
  4. In fairness to AVB he does have a lot of work in front of him.The squad has been largely untouched in the crucial areas for years,no real youth coming through.Short termism seems to have been the order of the day.Maybe Roman has now realised that shoving a manager out the door every 5 minutes isn't the best idea.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Although Spurs do not have the same money to splash around as Citeh and Chelsea, or even Un**ed, they have spend a few quid on this team just the same... that said, if the gunners can't take out the PL then I'm all for Tottenham stealing it from under the wealthy pricks wallet.

    ReplyDelete
  6. And can we spare with the 'poor-little-club called tottenham' story?

    They have been one of the bigger spender of the last few years and keeping in tradition with the locals, they have looted themselves a world class striker in Adebayour for free.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh & btw, on Toure and the african players being on a disadvantage.

    How is it fair to expect a club to pay you your full wage when your very own FA (from the african country, that is) expects you to bugger off for up to 6 weeks, every year, right in the middle of the bussiest part of the season?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Spits, Bo, Spurs have stuck to FFP rules in their spending, and their wage bill is well below that of any other "Top 6" club. They're not a rich man's plaything (Chelski, Citeh), or raped by the owners (United, Gooners). And they play good football. In the wacky world of the EPL, that's as good as it gets.

    Adebuywhore a "world class striker" Spit?? Which world?

    Nice blog Robbo, will be interesting to see if AVB can flex his muscles, and get rid of soem of the has beens and never weres (yes, Saloman, that's you). When he first joined Chelski, I thought it was a mistake. Thought someone had overheard Roman discussing his holiday plans. "I want Villas, Boats." Not so sure now, but won't win the league this season.


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
  9. Jedi,

    of course they have stuck to the FFP, I am not challenging that but they are hardly poor, are they? Neither have they spent less. In fact their gross spending on players is more than Arsenal.

    I have no problem with them having more money, just dont say they dont spend loads of money.

    Adebaywhore may be a footballing whore but take his goal contribution out and then tell me where your Arry stands.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Awesome week FFL-wise. A career high 90 pts and thumping wins over Colch and H2 sees me reach the top 10 in all 4 leagues and 3rd in jacks h2h.

    An equally resounding victory for liverpool when all the other top 4 contenders lost was equally awesome. Champions League, here we come. How come all this talk of wasteful spending and no mention of carroll as yet. Man was he shite over the weekend. He needs to be loaned out to sunderland or bolton to get his mojo back and we need a real striker in january or its curtains.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh yeah, forgot about that one.

    Liverpool. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Spit, I never said Spurs didn't spend money, but their wage bill is way below the other "top 6"(the other big football spend is net transfer fees, where Spurs spend way more than A**enal). Neither will win the league. Arsenal are the only PL club that make decent profits but no doubt Kroenke will take all those to pay off his purchase costs. You know, like the Glazers.

    Nor, of course will Liverpool win the league (it will take them several years to recover from the mismanagement of Hicks and Gillett. And buying Andy Carroll).

    Adebuywhore scores a lot of goals becuase he gets a lot of chances, he misses a lot too.


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
  13. ah its like the slaughter of the innocent at chelski aint it.

    nah - AVBs no as soft and pliable as a wind-blown sleeve compared to Psychohardman Micky "Deathlok" Adams:

    "All leave has been cancelled, there's no more days off. It's double-session time every day until we get it right."

    thats just for starters. last time he put them all up for sale and we were contending for promotion, so ushering a couple of papmpered has-beens with an exaggerated sense of entitlement towards the SunnyVale Retirement Home is a no-brainer. anelka's always secretly wished he had the bottle and talent to do a tevez anyway.

    Farewell Frank. You always let england down, thats how i'll remember you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Good stuff Robbo. What are you suggesting at the end there? That 'arry might get the Bolton job? All this talk of "the top 6" gets right up my nose, worrabout the top 19?

    Can we have Anelka back now?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Great blog Robbo,(and would also say repect to everyone on here for the respect shown last week)

    Esp like the side swipe at Frankies girlie

    ReplyDelete
  16. SPIT
    congrats also beating me twice in 3 weeks in FFL, tho this time was oh so close 71-69

    ReplyDelete
  17. Re the potential clearout at Chelski, I can see the oldboy Arnesen wanting a few more ex-blues at HSV

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'll hold my judgement on the AvB revival until after this weekend. I'll admit they had a very good win against, a much weaker then I expected, Valancia last night.

    Wolves were never going to trouble them and even though, in the end they outplayed them, they were lucky against the Toon last weekend. Luiz shouldn't of been on the pitch any longer then five minutes, if that wasn't a red card then I don't know what the hell is.

    Chelsea's problem over the last few seasons has been their record against the other traditional top teams, and with two home losses (L'pool and Arsenal) and an away defeat at Old Toilet already under his belt, AvB doesn't seem to have made any improvement there.

    Let's see what they can manage at home to City before we start patting him on the back.

    Roman's Empire may not have been built in a day, but with AvB being the sixth manager in less then five years, his day's may still be numbered if the league title looks like it's not on the cards around Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Interseting.

    In the spirit of Melvin Pervis, J Edgar Hoover and Elliot Ness, the modern day G men will now take on the most evil orginised crime outfit to date;

    http://www.nesn.com/2011/12/fbi-probes-fifa-corruption-investigating-world-cup-bids-and-fifa-president-elections.html

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm afraid I haven't got time at the mo', to get into the Spurs finances debate with Spit and Jedi, I'll try to get in on that one tomorrow.

    But I have got time to say that Ade, no matter how dispicable, is indeed a very good striker, I'm gutted that Spurs got him for nothing and only have to pay a fraction over his over-inflated wages. He's the striker that you've been missing over the last few seasons. I'm not going to go as far as saying he is the missing part of your puzzle, but it certainly helps that you finally have a striker who knows how to get himself into a position to score (or indeed miss)
    He's a real deal target man.

    Robbo.

    Modric player of the season???

    Have I missed something or is this a joke that people in Holland aren't to understand?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Don't get me started on moneybags crawley town fucking cheats

    ReplyDelete
  22. A great scoreline in Basel at half-time but, unfortunately, I do not see it staying that way after 90 minutes have elapsed. A well taken goal during a rare foray forward after which Un**ed bombarded the Basel goal... that's the first half in a nutshell.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Just off topic for a mo

    Is this a trend that is likely to spread to a certain barbers shop in deepest Derbyshire?

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-16016953

    ReplyDelete
  24. Blog, I'm with you on the Crawley situ.

    I could only add £2 to the Millers coffers

    ReplyDelete
  25. Well I was right about the scoreline not staying the same but it didn't get better for Un**ed, they are now playing in the mix for the Europy thingy.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Bloody hell Tone, you are doing well if you can find a topic to go off mate.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Just had a read of that article Tone... one of the comments was "I think it's a gimmick - I can't see the connection between barbering and nudity." He's on the ball that guy. Of course it's a gimmick and why look for a connection... what is the connection between drinking and nudity... fuck all it's there to bring in customers, stupid.

    Looking forward to seeing pics from Jack once he jumps on board... he'd need to hire a buxom wench though, not sure he'd drag in any passing trade by going topless himself.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Citeh have joined Un**ed in the Europy thingy... keeps on getting better.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Has to be the greatest set of European results I've ever known. Can't get the smug grin off my face. He may be a complete twat, but you can't argue with what Roy Keane thinks: "I think (going out) reflects what United have done in truth, they haven't scored enough goals and they haven't beaten Basle or Benfica. People have talked about the young players - you've had [Phil] Jones, [Chris] Smalling, [Ashley] Young coming in, everybody building them up but they've got a lot to do, it's a reality check for some. I'd be getting hold of some of those lads, saying 'you'd better buck up your ideas'. United got what they deserved tonight."

    ReplyDelete
  30. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hs ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

    ReplyDelete
  31. H, you still there? Can you please give us Dutch views on the disallowed Ajax brace? Is there an inquiry? Will there be a war with Spain?

    ReplyDelete
  32. And also great blog Robbo. I hope AVB gets time at Chelsea. I think that as long as they are in the Champions League each season, Abramovich may give him some time. I think it's great that he's finally benching the likes of Lampard and Anelka. Alex will be a good deal for someone.

    As for the Spurs spending debate - yeah we buy a lot of players, but we also buy them fairly cheap as we have a good scouting network, our Chairman seems to be a very good deal negotiator, and, like Jedi says, we have a very low wage bill compared to others around us in the league - no-one at the club earns over 100k a week. We bought Berbatov for 11m when he wasn't known outside of Leverkeusen, we bought Modric for 13m when no-one else had heard of him, the same goes for Sandro. We sold or eventually will sell these players for 3 times as much. We've also invested in British youth (and a lot of credit has to go to Damian Commolli for that), we raped Leeds for Lennon when they were in freefall (who didn't?), we bought Defoe, Bale, Walker, Dawson, Huddlestone and others and developed them into quality players. Adebayor is a quality addition - we've been saying for a few seasons (ever since Utd turned Berba's head) that we need a 20 goal a season striker. He is that striker. Be interesting to see what happens when his loan ends - I think he'll want to stay, but he'll have to take a dramatic wage cut to fit into our budget. But as equally important as a striker who scores, is a keeper that doesn't make mistakes. I was pissed off when we signed Friedel as we needed a striker more importantly, but he's been a rock in goal for us and had just as much of an impact as Adebayor. Also, Arsenal have a new stadium, which explains their lack of transfer spending in the last 5 years or so. Spurs will be building theirs in the near future, so that will obviously affect our spending. And the main thing for Spurs, is who will replace Harry when he goes to the England job. I have a feeling that we'll go for Moyes or O'Neill, but don't fancy either of those. And this brings me back to where I started, if AVB keeps doing a good enough job, I wonder if Hiddink will still be available?!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Thusday night Chanel 5...........

    ReplyDelete
  34. agree with you Noel, right down to the smug grin part. Plus the expression on Gary Neville's face throughout the highlights program on Sky after IOU's performance has made night already

    --BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
  35. also I agree with Kompany (yep, not proud of it) that people are underestimating Napoli, Arsenal will do well to avoid them

    ...and there I go jinxing it again

    --BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
  36. Now we can look forward to Spurs beating both Manchester teams on a Thursday night, although it does mean that there will be more Sunday games from the North West

    ReplyDelete
  37. Awesome set of results tonight..somehow I expected United to claw back in the dying seconds of the game and still wondering how that didnt happen.Think its more of a setback/disaster/debacle for ManU than City, who can now save their best for the PL making them almost dead certs for the title.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Sorry Trott, I was behind the bar and posted my last comment via the telephone, so I missed your question.

    I can tell you that the reaction from the guys in the bar watching was of disbelief and disgust in equal measures. I must admit, from what I saw, they looked like they'd been robbed of two perfect goals, one of Real's was a bit iffy too.

    The mood in the bar didn't get much better when news filtered through that Lyon scored 3 within the first seven minutes of the second half. I don't think I've ever seen anything like that happen before.

    I can't think of anyone who wouldn't be completly pissed if it had happened to their team.

    A sad night for the Dutch, but at least the teams from Manc chester got through.........

    O wait........

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Basel brush Man U aside – Boom, boom!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Grit.

    Like Spurs are gonna qualify?!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Not sure if anyone else watched the Basel/Un**ed game... but after Rooney has been nominated for goal of the year for his overhead scuff, he should also be nominated for miss of the year for tonight's effort... on two ocassions no less, both inside the six yard box.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Bo, I haven't seen the match yet but I wouldn't be surprised with Rooney's misses - he hasn't scored a goal for months I don't think. All this talk of whether or not he should go to the Euros depending on his suspension - if he's still so far out of form at the end of the season, then he shouldn't be considered anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Morning all

    Noel, you missed out the best bargain of all, vdV at 8mill. I know hes only good for 70 mins, who wouldnt be after shagging Sylvie, but he is also class

    ReplyDelete
  44. Morning Tone,

    Yeah I didn't mention VDV as he didn't fit into the 'new talent' or 'young talent' categories, but he probably does fit into the 'Chairman doing good deals and having a good network of contacts at top clubs' category. And IMO, Modric is up there with Silva and possibly Mata as top player in the league.

    Just watched the highlights from lastnight. Hehehehehehe.

    ReplyDelete
  45. They spent more money last year than league 2 combined, tone, after nearly going broke the year before. It's not envy, ok it is, but come on Robbie put your hand in your pocket or fatty barlowes if necessary

    ReplyDelete
  46. Maybe Robbie arrange for Mickey to go on X Factor to raise some cash?

    ReplyDelete
  47. Fergie's put down to Roy keane...

    Ferguson hit back when asked about Keane's comments, remarking on his former captain's experience as a manager.

    "He had an opportunity to prove himself as a manager too," Ferguson said. "It is a difficult job."

    ReplyDelete
  48. And to make matters worse, Rooney's ban has been reduced to two matches meaning he'll be there to be part of the disappointment that the england team will no doubt be.

    ReplyDelete
  49. One can hope that the Glazers were so impressed with Keane's comments that they offer him the job when the scotsman dies.

    ReplyDelete
  50. If Rooney's kick wasnt deserving of a 3 match ban then I dont knwo what is.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Shed a tear watching this sublime moment from Socrates' glittering football career, this one vs Germany

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur5fGSBsfq8

    ReplyDelete
  52. jacks - haha yes it would have to be here's billy bell and his pet madman to perform tricks, watch him eat his own eyeballs ... iiiiiiiiiit's Billy and Mickey!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  53. spit...yes another example of saf the playground bully. pathetic put down of keane. what was he supposed to say? well played united? unfortunately i watched that game and it was so dire i wasnt going to mention it.

    ReplyDelete
  54. and rooney was hopeless. i was hoping theyd increase the ban to 12 games to give us more of a chance.

    ReplyDelete
  55. I give us a chance Blogs if they give the other 15 countries a 6 match ban.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Ban the whole thing, Jack. Ban football. Then we might have a chance in the replacemnt European Darts, Snooker, Self-Delusion, Moaning and Drinking Fine Ales and Real Wines Championship

    ReplyDelete
  57. Still get beaten by the Chinese though.

    Or the Aussies.

    ReplyDelete
  58. SS must be on top of the world. Sehwag just butchered the West Indies to take the world record from Sachin. 219 in 149 balls. Good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  59. have Man Uropa taken over the mantle of crisis club from Arsenal who had passed it on to Chelsea?

    ReplyDelete
  60. Tis our title currently Blogs.

    7 defeats on the trot.

    ReplyDelete
  61. but how many defeats do the trots have, erm, on the trot?

    ReplyDelete
  62. No wins in 6 for us. Depressing.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Reports here in the lowlands that UEFA are to investigate "foul play" regarding Ajax's elimination from the CL.

    Shame they're not Scottish, or they'd be in the hat for the draw for the next round already.

    ReplyDelete
  64. So the fallout could cost IOU 20mil

    I say get rid of the freshhaired one to the Mid East, let him sweat there, save on wages too, or will he demand a pay decrease cos Rooneys crap

    ReplyDelete
  65. BLOG

    "It was never our intention to invest that kind of money into Port Vale. I'd have to be crazy or on drugs to agree to such a thing" BSI CEO

    Not a nice thing to say, maybe you are best rid of him

    ReplyDelete
  66. Trott, water it down, it lasts longer. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  67. Re Rooneys ban

    2 lawyers 1 QC and a solicitor plus numerous others. Hope the little shit has to pick up the tab

    ReplyDelete
  68. tone I suppose he's got a point

    Shave Ajax!

    ReplyDelete
  69. Hey Tone.

    Hope you don't have to travel via Schipol any time soon.

    Last few days we've had winds up to gail force 10 and it doesn't look like it will stop.

    ReplyDelete
  70. http://i.imgur.com/9QBBJ.jpg

    Also available in red.

    ReplyDelete
  71. So Suarez probably out for the better part of January, what with one count of racism, one of fan abuse and one simply for not scoring in 7 games now, against him.

    I hope KD gets over his Carroll fixation and either puts bellamy up front or buys a striker. Maybe 35mil for Demba Ba now.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Newcastle will see you comming from a mile off.

    You won't get Demba for under 50mil.

    ReplyDelete
  73. From this weeks gossip;

    Sunderland great Jimmy Montgomery says Martin O'Neill's arrival at the Stadium of Light finally brings a "touch of Clough" to Wearside.
    Full story: Sunderland Echo

    Both have been dead for years.

    =======
    Tottenham are ready to make a late bid to prise England defender Gary Cahill from Bolton.
    Full story: Daily Mail

    Extreamly late, the transfer window shut months ago.
    ==========
    Ivory Coast defender Kolo Toure appears to have paved the way for a January exit from Manchester City after claiming he is picked on for playing for his country.
    Full story: Daily Mail

    He cried to Mancini that Lescott stole his lunch money and Balotelli gave him a swirly in the bogs.
    =======

    ReplyDelete
  74. Manchester United midfielder Anderson is being driven barking mad after buying two huge Bernese Mountain Dogs - and ending up with 10 after a pet shop mix-up.
    Full story: Metro

    Could of been worse, he could of wanted a cd from Snoop Dogg and ended up with a Pet Shop Boys re-mix.
    =========
    Wolves captain Roger Johnson will benefit from being dropped, manager Mick McCarthy insists.
    Full story: Express & Star

    From how high?
    =========
    Manchester United are preparing a £25m January transfer window bid for Inter Milan midfielder Wesley Sneijder.
    Full story: Caught Offside

    Not sure if Wes would want to go to a europa league team.
    =============
    Gunners midfielder Yossi Benayoun insists Arsenal fans have already forgotten about former stars Cesc Fabregas and Samir Nasri.
    Full story: the Sun

    NOT TRUE!!!

    I can't stop thinking about $amir getting to play in the Manc B team Thursday nights on Channel 5.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Why don't Norway have more power at Fifa/Uefa?

    Check this out

    ReplyDelete
  76. You know that other mirror planet earth they've discovered. Well closer inspection has revealed they have football up there. There's a mirror chelsea, a mirror man uropa, and a mirror port vale who are disappointing in all their various manifestions throughout the galaxy

    ReplyDelete
  77. The other fifa boss is Blatter the hutt

    ReplyDelete
  78. Do they also have a mirror Daily Mirror?

    ReplyDelete
  79. Yes H and also a mirror mirror mirror on the wall

    ReplyDelete
  80. There's even a mirror Germany trying to set up a mirror 4th Reich and a mirror chinless posh twat trying to chuck a spanner into the merkels

    ReplyDelete
  81. Ha Ha, or as they say on the mirror planet;
    aH aH

    ReplyDelete
  82. Themes also a mirror Alan partridge up there, H

    ReplyDelete
  83. And a mirror Ah ha, my second favourite Norwegian band

    ReplyDelete
  84. wonder if its all as fucked up on kepler 22b as it is down here. if its not don't worry guys well be there in 600 years to lend a hand.

    ReplyDelete
  85. Bbc question time from stoke on Trent

    No stoke accents evident from what I've heard ...waiting for someone to ask

    Steak n kidney or meat an tater?

    ReplyDelete
  86. Thought this was quite funny...nothing like getting a little Lou Bega into the mix

    A little bit of Tevez out the door.
    A little bit of Vidic on the floor. A little a bit of Nasri on the side.
    A little bit of Rooney shooting wide.
    A little bit of Mario having a laugh.
    A little bit of Nani on his arse.
    ..Ladies and Gentleman - Channel Number Five.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Jack Wilshire thinks Wenger would be a good choice for next England manager... not sure about that myself... I think Wenger is a good league manager, not sure how he would go as a National manager though... he wouldn't get enough time with the players. But at least we'd have a young squad.

    ReplyDelete
  88. Not Bad AH, this made me giggle;

    http://www.talksport.co.uk/magazine/features/2011-12-08/talksport-spoof-nasri-i-had-leave-arsenal-play-europa-league

    ReplyDelete
  89. I'm lookin' at the nam in the rorrim.

    Wenger would be great for England, we'd always have an excuse (unless he didn't see it).

    ReplyDelete
  90. Jack, if you are wondering why you haven't received an email from me since I have been back... I have a new computer and it's running Windows 7 (enough said)... I have just managed to get the email program to receive mail (none from you though haha), still working on sending mail though.

    ReplyDelete
  91. ha ha so like the manchester clubs , we're out of europe - we're the eternal trouble maker at the international party, aint we, two speed plus 2 theyre calling it - the eurozone, plus the wannabes ...and then there's us and hungary. the scots will be off soonn'all. no man is an island, dave, except the isle of man and i bet theyll secede pretty soon...

    ReplyDelete
  92. Fuck Trott, you could be talking about any England manager since Ramsey... except the not seeing it, that's a dead givaway.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Jesus wept, United are turning into another Newcastle with the amount of injuries they've had over the past 2-3 years. Not that surprised United went out of Europe seeing they drew two games at home. Wednesday was probably their best performance of the 6, completely dominated the game against a woeful Basel team. They were awesome at Old Trafford, don't know whats happened them in the space of a couple of months. It just wasn't gonna be our night, If Rooney would've scored his tap in we would've went on to a comfortable victory I'm sure and nobody would be saying all this "They were rubbish" crap. Come on the Channel 5 cup!

    ReplyDelete
  94. genius Blog, well except for that stupid fuckin' smart phone you got that can't smell sdrawkcab.

    ReplyDelete
  95. When I heard Wilshere putting Wenger forward as the next England manager, naturally I was against it. On reflection, though, he's exactly the right man for the job.

    Always ready with a reasons why the latest abysmal performance is not the "yung tim"'s fault but down to the ref/opposition cheating/venue/time of day ("eet ees past eight o'clock. Mah yung tim should be tucked up in zeir beds").

    Would never see the latest hooligan kick by Rooney.

    All England internationals would be required to retire from international football at 21, so you'd never get the "Golden Shower Generation" failures again.

    Think about it, FA!


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
  96. The idea of having to watch Channel 5 and enrich the pleb who brought back Big Brother is really annoying but you pick your team and stick with it so it's a good thing I have a Shy+ box for my other shows.

    btw - http://www.nme.com/news/pet-shop-boys/60438

    ReplyDelete
  97. Adam, the choice between Ch5 (Richard Desmond, who owns the Daily Star and Express) and Sky (Murdoch, of NotW, Sun and Times "fame") is a tough one, I reckon! difficult to say which is the bigger tosser.


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
  98. Above I posted a link (Define FAIL!!!) to a Citeh fan with a CL winners tatoo (a twatoo!?)

    I thought it was the epotimy of stupidity, to have a tatoo proclaiming victory in a competition that you were competing in for the first time.

    Then I had a closer look.....


    Check out the date.

    Champions League winners 2011.

    That's last season's competition for which City didn't even qualify for.

    Surely there should be a law passed to make it possible to terminate these oxygen thieves.

    ReplyDelete
  99. A little bit of Vidic seeing red,
    a little bit of Rooney's baldy head,
    A little bit of Nani taking a dive,
    You can see it all on Channel Five!

    ReplyDelete
  100. Oops, a copy paste fail.


    A little bit of Chico's broken toes ,
    A little bit of Fergie's whiskey nose.
    A little bit of Evra crying 'Race' ,
    A little bit of Giggsy's pixie face,
    A little bit of Vidic seeing red,
    a little bit of Rooney's baldy head,
    A little bit of Nani taking a dive,
    You can see it all on Channel Five!

    ---

    there.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Spit, that could be Christmas number eno!

    ReplyDelete
  102. Adam, PSB are performing at the Sydney New Year concert, along with Culture Club. What kind of audience are they hoping to attract with that line up? I'm 200kms away, and I'm not sure that'll be enough.

    ReplyDelete
  103. "bolton's not a palindrome. a palindrome of bolton would be notlob!"

    ReplyDelete
  104. chucklesome. You can g'an dig golb too. You're just a golb digger!

    ReplyDelete
  105. Thinks "Fog in the channel and once again Europe finds itself once again isolated from England. Well Go and fuck yourselves you greasy pack of garlic munching pagans! Not the women, obviously, they're good. We may not be young we may not be pretty, we may not be right good but were here and tonight for one night only David Cameron will perform The Full Monty I believe in miracles! You can keep your CAP* on!"

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh we're fucked!

    * thats Common Agriculture Policy innit nuff said

    ReplyDelete
  106. There's only one thing for it trot me old mate llabtoof (sounds like vagina dentata) and an team na retat eip

    ReplyDelete
  107. Enjoy your moment of strategic success sarkozy, how we'll be laughing on this side of the channel when your three largest banks collapse, which is apparently imminent, the schadenfreude will keep us warm when the lights go out

    ReplyDelete
  108. Nice to see that arsenal have made a,statue of Henry. How long until a bitter irishman glues a ball to the hand

    It's a nice tradion this, the statue to Henry st arsenal, stan Matthews looking wistfully at marks and Spencers in Hanley wishing he earned enough to shop there, the statue to emile heskey on the pitch at villa park...

    Whenever I go to stoke I come out of stoke station and make a point of putting an empty can of lager in josiah wedgewoods hand. We always have a chat me and jose, how the fuck do I get down from here he always says

    ReplyDelete
  109. I know a lot of bolocks is talked about nidtrsdamus and hid ambiguous prophecies but this one seems clear...

    "port vale shall beateth dagenham and redbridge on 10th December 2011 by the odd goal"

    ReplyDelete
  110. although the actual Latin word he uses can sometimes be translated as "lose"

    ReplyDelete
  111. Cameron thinks he's the outlaw Jose Wales doesn't he?

    ReplyDelete
  112. H
    Thanks for your concern

    But I hope you wind problem clears up by the 21st, you do know that flatulence is curable

    ReplyDelete
  113. Not for me I'm afraid Tone.

    Thanks to excesive intakes of alcohol;

    The answer my friend is blowing in the wind.

    Otherwise I'd be completly clueless.

    ==
    Blogs.

    Half the time, I don't know what the fuck you're on about....

    but it always makes me laugh.

    Cheers mate.

    ReplyDelete
  114. This is only really relevant to one person on here,but then when did that ever stop anyone?

    The girls last night went to see Mother Goose with Brownies,so Mrs Jack and I had 3 whole hours to ourselves.Up the A50 parked on the market place.Pint in the Post Office Vaults,pint in The Leopard,curry at Great Mowgha (?) final pint in Bulls Head,picked girls up.

    Burslem was splendid Blogs.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Its good to hear the jealousy remains

    ReplyDelete
  116. you are confusing schadenfreude with jealousy Rod.

    Jealous of the fact that Man U are in the your hopeless league?

    You must be joking.

    either way, laughing too hard to tell the difference...

    ReplyDelete
  117. Just so I've got this straight.Un**ed fans can take the piss,but when something goes wrong for them it's not piss taking it's jealousy?

    Fergie's like a Jedi with his mind control,got you all believing it.

    ReplyDelete
  118. woke up this morning at 4.30am. I ran 3 miles then I wrote 2000 words of my novel Mandraxe the magician and the Nazi Werewolves from mars. Then I woke up.

    ReplyDelete
  119. Jacks thanks for that (wipes away a tear) how the fuck did I end yp in Essex and how the fuckerer did I end up feeling homesick for burslem. Is the snooker hall still there? Spent many a happy schoolday in there. Always went to hanley to drink though, because of the murders. Match days always started in the bull. Happy days.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Not sure where the snooker hall is Blogs.It was busy last night as well.Very friendly locals in all the pubs.Really made us foreigners feel at home.

    ReplyDelete
  121. H - I know mate, I'll yrt redrah to become erom elbagiletni

    rod welcome back mate don't be a stranger, you're needed here more than ever before as your club becomes ever more laughable

    ReplyDelete
  122. Near where you parked jacks, opposite the George hotel in a dark side street

    ReplyDelete
  123. Didn't see it Bud,but you're always welcome to stay in Cheadle Towers should you ever wish to visit the Mother Town.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Thanks mate. We should meet for a beer and a game of snooker at some point.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Robbo Blog piss up in the Dungheap! Somebody organise it!

    ReplyDelete
  126. I'd be up for that Blogs.Especially if I can get a point at snooker.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Has RvP forgotten what the offside rule is today?

    ReplyDelete
  128. But then again, what a finish!!!

    ReplyDelete
  129. Millers and Vale winning away as well Tony/Blogs.

    From 5.20 this evening you'll be able to see Barnsley hand us our arses on a silver platter as well.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Bo's O's 3-0 up.Looking good for the non prem teams on here.

    Hope my lot can keep it going *but doubts it really*

    ReplyDelete
  131. A good day at the football today. Arsenal grabbed a home win against Everton and the mighty O's win at home 3-0. Arsenal needed the win, they have a couple of tough away games coming up against Citeh and AV.

    Not sure where the gunners would be without van Persie this season. 15 goals from 15 games is impressive stuff and today's goal has to be amongst his best, a brilliant half-volley from the edge of the penalty area gave Howard no chance. Another good ball from Song too, he really is developing into one of the leagues top defensive midfielders. If only he would stop his foray's forward.

    ReplyDelete
  132. Bo well done to Os and the Gunners

    Its tight in our FFL match up, you have 2 to play, I have 1, as Silva and Hart cancel each other out

    ReplyDelete
  133. Phew..scraped through at home against QPR. Top 4 definitely in the bag then.

    Silver lining being another good week at the FFL. Seems like I'm on my way to beating H2 for the second successive week and with some luck should get the better of Baggie Mike too.

    ReplyDelete
  134. Chuck Norris has gotten in contact with Robin van Persie. Chuck wants his left foot back.

    ReplyDelete
  135. one gend to the other...

    http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lw00vbDWMw1qfbvr3o1_400.jpg

    class acts, both of them

    ReplyDelete
  136. Jacks
    I guess thats one way of ending a losing streak

    ReplyDelete
  137. Tone, leaving my team to it's own resources worked fine for a while but it seems there maybe an injury or two that may require me to go back in and make a transfer or two.... maybe even use my wildcard. Am I in front of you or vice versa?

    ReplyDelete
  138. Another good week in the FFL by the looks of it. I've got 40 points with 6 players to come, and the guys I'm up against have less points and only 2 players to come, so looking safe for two more wins. I think I'm undefeated since playing the wildcard. Back of the net.

    Sounds like Messi should have been sent off in El Classico, and Ronaldo has brought his usual big game, 'I don't want to be here cos I don't look as good with all these other good players' attitude with him.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Barca prove, yet again, too good for Real. 3-1 with Fabregas scoring the third.

    Ronaldo should come to Oz Tone, he'll be top dog for a while. Beaches and crumpet by the mile, lots of adoring camera persons (for the anti-sexists amongst us), he'll be in his glory.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Like Harry Kewell is, Bo? He's starting to realise that the A-League isn't as easy as he thought, or he isn't as good as he thought.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Noel, Harry Kewell left it too late to return to Oz and be a star, he was pretty much a non event when he left England. There hasn't been a single Aussie that has returned home to play in the local league that has been successful to my knowlege. Well there is one that was successful but his name escapes me. He played for Glory for a year or two then went east... begins with a C.... may have been Colosimo. Anyway most of them come back to Oz expecting a comfortable weekend jog for their thousands a week and get a nasty shock when it doesn't turn out quite like that.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Blackburn Rovers' owners have been told by their bankers, Barclays that they must deposit £10million in the club's account by New Year's Eve or the bank will not extend the credit needed to pay the players' wages beyond the first month of 2012.

    And so it begins........

    ReplyDelete
  143. Yeah I think you're right Bo. Aussie players aren't going to come and play here when they can earn better wages overseas. Obviously, wages are linked to ability, so once they aren't playing well enough to earn the big bucks, they come back with all the usual excuses 'I want to give something back to my country' etc etc. But by that time they aren't even at the standard of the A-League and so just fade away.

    ReplyDelete
  144. tone1947 said...
    Jacks
    I guess thats one way of ending a losing streak
    -----------------------------------

    I don't want to try and take all the credit for the Ipswich performance but the result was never in doubt once the first 6 teams in my accumulator came in and I just needed a Barnsley win to finish it off.

    ReplyDelete
  145. BO, sorry not replied earleir,awol for 15hrs apparently drinking but 36-33 to me at mo

    ReplyDelete
  146. great second half versus Villa. Obviously we've turned the corner!

    ReplyDelete
  147. It's not looking good for your guys Trott. They are going to need all the belief and support they can muster over the next few months if they are going to dig themselves out of the hole they are in at the moment.

    ReplyDelete
  148. Cheers Tone... wish I hadn't asked.

    ReplyDelete
  149. Jack, the girls will be happy with Stokes form at the moment. A good result against an in form Spurs

    ReplyDelete
  150. This would have to be the worst Arsenal team in many years (nind you Un**ed have had a poor team for years and have managed to finish in the top two each season). As things stand at the moment, the only player that would have got into the "invincibles" side is van Persie and even he would have been on the bench.

    Now I am not knocking Wenger, I am a fan of his but he has allowed the team to deteriorate by refusing to go to the transfer market (apart from when he has been forced). I am sure there are people on here who will point to our league position and try to justify Wenger by that but I think our position says more about the poor quality in the PL than it does about our team.

    Citeh are the only team in the PL that has quality throughout (they have the money to able to buy that quality,) their position at the top of the table is deserved. Un**ed are where they are because of their manager, their team is probably worse than Arsenal's. Spurs have a decent manager but are also where they are because they have splashed the cash. Chelsea still have pretty much the same team that Mourhiono left except they are older. Liverpool have spent money but generally on poor players, they either need new scouts or a new director of football. I think in general, the quality in the PL is fairly poor which for us is a good thing.

    ReplyDelete
  151. Good result for Stoke lastnight - always a tough game at the Britannia and so it proved for Spurs. By the sounds of it, a lot of contentious decisions went Stoke's way, but you can't begrudge them the win - Spurs couldn't cope with them for the first half and they deserved a lead. I'm sure we had some luck earlier in the season (Rafa possible handball and not being sent off for celebrating with the fans) so it all evens out.

    Glad Harry went to a back three with attacking wing backs in the second half. Good to see the ability to change the system and it worked well. We now have a squad with strength on the bench and a bit of tactical flexibility.

    Confirmed wins already in the FFL H2Hs so not too bad a weekend overall!

    ReplyDelete
  152. Morning all

    Bo
    I dont think you need to worry, youve got Larsson coming off the bench, I can only pray that chelskis bossy winger plays and gets sent off

    H2H
    Looks like we've got a low score draw in the other HtoH

    ReplyDelete
  153. Never doubted we'd win comfortably away at Barnsley......

    ReplyDelete
  154. completely agreed Bo, the lack of quality scares me when watching them nowadays, hope Wilshere gets back soon, we have been extremely lucky in the past couple of months to get to where we are, and that partly sucks because now Wenger has an excuse not to buy anyone in january. We need a striker and a creative mid who has some pace and skills, Arteta and Ramsey take eons to turn defence into attack. Both wingers are wasteful but have bags of pace and like to run at defences which makes me give them the benefit of the doubt. I think Kosc and Vermaelen will make a good partnership with Mertesacker as backup.
    But it is attack where we have a frightening lack of quality and so far I see no indication from Arsene that he is going to address that. Would be great to have someone with a bit of flare say Pato from AC milan, but im sure Wenger will go for someone french like Gourcuff and get it wrong once again

    --BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
  155. Mario Balotelli faces a £150,000 fine from Manchester City after breaking a club curfew to go for a midnight curry.
    ======================================================

    An expensive curry was that.

    No Jack, they were always going to win it.

    BeeZee, we have one of the best strikers around at the moment but once you go past him, I agree there is bugger all.... if he gets injured it is difficult to see where the goals would come from.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Its not Wenger's fault is it?

    ITs the board that refuses to revise the wage structure to the current going rates for top players.

    Nasri and Clichy more than doubled their wages. They'd be stupid not to do so.

    You pay for what ou get.

    ReplyDelete
  157. or you get what you pay for.

    whatever.

    ReplyDelete
  158. Thanx Spit.

    They've gone and changed the blogger home page again, so I had to sign in via this page.

    Why do they keep fucking around with it?

    ReplyDelete
  159. I think its boredom.

    I know plenty of ppl involved int he interweb business and boredom is the top reason for any change you see in how you experience your web.

    ReplyDelete
  160. Liverpool's Craig Bellamy and QPR's Joey Barton were involved in an argument moments after the final whistle in Saturday's game at Anfield as bad feelings between the two spilled into the tunnel area.
    -----------

    Barton clashing with Bellamy?

    That would have lef tone stinking pile of mess.
    Poor janitors who had to clean the bio-hazard up.

    ReplyDelete
  161. Can't say I totally agree with you (Bo and BeeZee) I think Arsene has done an unbelievavble job in turning our season around. It would of been a brave man that had put money on us being in the top 4 today, let alone having qualified for the CL as group winners. Yet here we are.

    He brought in some solid experienced players, Arteta is an excellent addition, he has an amazing work rate. We may of lost a little bit of our flair, but overall I think we are a better, more solid team then we were last year.

    I will however, definetly agree that we need a new striker, a realible back up to RvP, because what we have at the mo' just doesn't cut it. I feel the same about the keeper position. Woj is a topper, but the others are clowns, we are now just one injury away from the return of Almunia, and that can't be right.

    ReplyDelete
  162. Also one injury away from Squilaci back inthe starting XI. That cant be right either.

    ReplyDelete
  163. You guys arent half as bad as us. We're one injury away from having Carroll start.

    ReplyDelete
  164. As its confirmed, Santos out for three months with no signs of Gibbs to come play a game or two before getting injured again.


    So thats a striker and a LB + a RB that we should deffo buy in January.

    Hate to think what would happen if any of Arteta or Ramsey were to get injured. Or Song.

    We might have got a team or half going but the banch is not up to a runnig condition...


    CRISIS

    ReplyDelete
  165. AnfieldHopeful said...

    You guys arent half as bad as us. We're one injury away from having Carroll start.

    --

    he he.

    ReplyDelete
  166. Blogidy,

    VALE!!

    http://theballisround.co.uk/2011/12/11/any-port-vale-in-a-storm/

    ReplyDelete
  167. Injuries? You wanna talk about injuries?

    5 Bolton players have got broken legs according to Phil Garside. He needs to mention it to Owen Coyle and tell him to stop putting those poor lads in the first team.

    ReplyDelete
  168. Ta jacks my boy played dag and red and they don't look like a league set up to me

    I came across this one in there http://theballisround.co.uk/2009/11/18/who-ate-all-the-pies-well-i-did-actually/

    the bolton fan who ate a pie at every league stadium. His best pie was at morecambe. Best game vale vs huddesfield and I whole heartedly agree with his vote for the worst stadium ....Colchester s new ground at cuckoo farm which is unbelievably bland and lacking in atmosphere why the fuck they moved from layer road which was a fantastic place. Watching the u's now which I occasionally do is like having your soul sucked out through the eyelets of your football boots. Awful.

    ReplyDelete
  169. Arsenal fans.... don't really get it lads you're 4 th in the league ...form a pressure group to get thise morecambe pies shipped in if you want to complain about smth

    ReplyDelete
  170. The only blame I am laying at Wenger's feet, H2, is his refusal to dip into the transfer market until his hand was forced.

    I don't agree that this team is better than last years team. I like Arteta but he is no Fabregas or even Nasri. I don't think Nasri is such a brilliant player but he had moment's of brilliance. Neither Arteta nor Ramsey hold a candle to him though.

    I don't think Mertsacker has added a great deal to our defence, he is a disappointment for me. Another disappointment is Gervinho, he promised a lot pre-season but delivered very little. I don't think Benayoun is used enough I think he should be starting more games personally.

    ReplyDelete
  171. The vale team have got broken legs, one eye - between them - torettes and a debilitating std spread at the Xmas party by the managers wife but our team spirit, when we get some, will get us through this (latest) (genuine - arsenal fans take note) crisis

    ReplyDelete
  172. As I said Blog, our position in the league is flattering and for me it says more about the poor quality of the PL than it does about the Arsenal squad.

    ReplyDelete
  173. The only genuine crisis Blog, is whether I have enough dosh for a block of stubbies at the end of the week.

    ReplyDelete
  174. Everything is relatively shite.

    ReplyDelete
  175. So city lost... coz of the manger's negativity I'd say. Why take the league's arguably best two players off when nowt's wrong with them?

    Baffling.

    ReplyDelete
  176. Speaking of relatives, anyone want a couple... I have two I'm trying to get rid of... very cheap

    ReplyDelete
  177. They may have found the higgs boson. Scientists at CERN continue the long search for the Ryan giggs conscience.

    In other news Joe coles Brain has been declared non existent.

    ReplyDelete
  178. Just went on the BBC Sport website and thought Jonny Wilkinson was dead. Turns out he's just retired. Who cares?

    ReplyDelete
  179. Well I am finally going to get the operation that will qualify me as a dinky di Aussie. I have been putting it off for years but I have been convinced that it is a painless op and the world will seem a lot less complex than it does now and although your problems do not go away you don't give a fuck about them anymore, oh yeah and the yellow brick road becomes visible to you.

    ReplyDelete
  180. It seems Spurs fans are very thick.

    Apparently they have been bombarding a twitter account thinking it was that of Chris Foy,referee for the Stoke game.

    Sadly it was the account of Sir Chris Hoy,multi Olympic gold medal winning cyclist.

    Thickos.

    ReplyDelete
  181. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/16146536.stm

    Surely the picture on Chris Hoy's account,bloke in full cry on a bike,might have been a clue.

    ReplyDelete

Powered By Blogger