Monday 14 November 2011

Great Scott!

England beat Spain and all I can think is that Creaseless Cameron will have been nodding his head gravely and calling it ‘a victory for common sense’. It was a win cast in the Age of Austerity: no risks, bank what you’ve got, sit tight and pray to God that no one breaks your door down and makes off with the flatscreen.

Not that your Spaniards are the most belligerent of bailiffs. Fact is they’re more likely to ease open a tiny gap in the front window frame and slip one of their tiny magicians in while you’re minding the back door.

It was a weird one. Spain seem to be treating the word ‘friendly’ all too literally recently, what with getting thumped by Argentina and Portugal. (Apart from Sergio Ramos of course – a Red Hot Chilli Pepper looky-likey who plays footy with the same clunky swagger. They haven’t forgotten how to be dirty, have they?)

Just in case you don't hate Ramos as much as me, here's a picture of his girlfriend

Even at half-cock they mustered 21 chances versus England’s 3. There was nowt wrong with how Capello set up his team. Despite the fact that our plucky boys couldn’t keep the ball - I’ve not seen so many misplaced passes since our third-year lads tried to chat up some sixth-form lasses – defensively they were rock-solid.

Jagielka underlined the fact that John Terry’s tediously troubled times are coming to a close. Lescott was a bit of a revelation even if every time he cleared the ball it went unerringly to a Spanish foot, as if Joleon was saying ‘Again! Is that all you’ve got, you pussies!? Again!!!’

Of course the star of such a dogged show is always going to be your tireless holding midfielder and I think we can say the Owen Hargreaves Award for Relentless Effort goes to Scott Parker. There’s summat very reassuring about Parker. He’s old-fashioned somehow: the work-rate, the upright gait, the 1950’s Brylcreemed side-parting... it’s like he’s been drafted in from a simpler time when a rattle, a cup of Bovril and a stripy scarf was all a man needed to take to a football ground.

Parker would have been the footballer of choice for every character in an Ealing Comedy. Even the affectionate moniker ‘Scotty’ suggests a big man-sized tissue mopping up the messy dribbles and cruddy scuffs left by his less capable comrades.

Wind him up and watch him go!

It’s impossible to imagine a return to Gareth Two-Paced Barry (slow and stationary). Or Michael Carrick, a man who makes neatness a crime.

Capello was eager to praise the new boys who have stepped up, not least Jack Rodwell. Fabio claimed he ‘never thought a player so young could be so ready on his first exhibition’ thereby making the lad sound less like an attacking midfielder and more like an aspiring water-colourist. Ah, the English language, eh?

Rodwell does look the business, mind. Phil Jones did a decent job, too, though you can already see his playing career being dogged by his versatility. You just wait til the poor sod gets slotted in at left-book for a crocked Cashley and wait for the doom-mongers to rain down on him. The lad’s a centre-back. Let him play there.

As for Welbeck, well he was a direct substitution for Darren Bent, who played as the football equivalent of a look-out. Capello must’ve said ‘Darren, sneak up near the front and tell us if you can see any trouble coming.’ To Bent’s credit it was his header that led to the goal. At the moment the alternatives to Rooney up top are pretty interchangeable. But I’d rather have a lad with a decent touch up there, like Sturridge or Zamora, rather than the earnest galloper that Capello favours.

As for Spain, well they’re kilometres better than us. Or indeed anyone else. Fabregas’s post-match bleat stank of a Wengered past. What team, in their right mind, is going to keep it nice and open against the best passers the game has seen? It’d be like saying to Usain Bolt ‘race you to the next lamp-post’ without having made sure your mates had lined the pavement with boxes of distracting KFC. Madness.

And sometimes Spain have only themselves to blame. Fabregas will know that there’s a new tavern opened up by the Emirates stadium called The Extra Pass (there isn’t really, but there should be), and aside from the lady-pleasered chin of David Villa, the team lack a bit of ruthlessness at times. Even if you have 70% of possession, you’ve still got to do summat with it.

Even so, anyone thinking that this was anything more than a freakish one-off is living in the land where Audley Harrison can dance, there is a point to Michele Bachmann, and Louis Walsh has penetrating insight.

What it proved, new boys or not, is that English footballers can still be worthy and diligent if given a limited gameplan to follow but when it comes to what your Alan Hansens would call ‘touch and technique’ – well they’re the footballing equivalent of the artwork them painting elephants come up with, and they are similarly overpriced.

Of course the strange thing is that an England victory always makes you a tad perkier than you should be, and I find meself looking forward to the next Euros in a spirit of having zero expectation. There’ll be no Rooney to worry about losing in a fit of twatty temper. Chances are the creaking partnership of Terry and Ferdinand (Rio, not Anton) will be unavailable.

As long as we long-sufferers aren’t reintroduced to the Gerpard Conundrum where Fat Frank and Sulkin’ Stevie fight over the same square of turf, there might be a little bit of light, unpressured enjoyment for the even the most steadfast pessimist. Which is, paradoxically, optimistic.

Fear not, fellow miseries, there’s another friendly tomorrow night. The victory has given the lads ‘something to build on’ so we look forward to the Swedes digging up the foundations like a bunch of Scotsmen with armfuls of turf-cutting equipment.

"'As 'e finished his bleedin' blog yet?"

In the meantime we've got 'Arry's trial to look forward to in January. I think all this talk of secret Bung Bung parties in Portsmouth is just newspaper waffle. Don't you?

196 comments:

  1. Surprising to see a good performance from Lescott - I've never rated him too much. It was probably down to the understanding with Jagielka from their time together with Everton.

    We were never going to be great going forward without Rooney, Young, Wiltshire and Cleverly (who has been Un*ted's best central midfielder when he's played this season) so it was a good performance.

    I thought Welbeck and Rodwell looked like there were combining well, would like to see Welbeck and Sturridge get some time on the pitch together, especially if we're playing two holding midfielders.

    Parker has once again shown that Fabio was crazy not picking him sooner. Why Barry went to the world cup ahead of him is beyond me.

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  2. "But I’d rather have a lad with a decent touch up there, like Sturridge or Zamora,"

    Zamora? Good touch?

    Now that's just pure comedy gold.

    Shame Scotty Parkers' roughly the same age as the toxteth dj basher and the racist cuckholder.

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  3. Still think Richards should've played right back. He's on top form atm and is a better player than Johnson. Other than that Capello did OK, but it's just one friendly.

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  4. Good blog Robbo, no point in getting too carried away.

    The game reminded me of one of those "FA Cup Shock" games, where plucky little Div 2 side defends like crazy for 89 minutes against Premier league Big Club, scores a scruffy goal and gets lucky. It doesn't make Plucky little Div 2 side a big team.

    But, Fabio, FFS don't take Gerrard, Terry, Rio or Fwat Fwank to the Euros. Whatever they had (and it never cut it at international level) they've lost it now.

    Jedi

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  5. Maradona said Spain would be world champions if the goals were on the side of the pitch,rather than at each end.Well,apart from the fact they ARE world champions he does have a point.They did go 30 odd games unbeaten a couple of seasons back,but it seems that teams have worked out how to stop them playing.(You could swap Ar***al for Spain in that last sentence)

    More importantly however it's Spits birthday today.

    As for England they stuck to the task well,but I suspect most people have been down the hype road before,so won't get too excited by this win.

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  6. OMG! ohh come on Jack, what has Arsenal's reference got to do with Spain-England match.

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  7. Fabregas surely has learnt how to talk from Xavi and his fellow Barcunts… he says England are not at level of Spain (which might not be very true)!.. and also he says it will be difficult for Arsenal to hold on to RVP! (probably he has inside information to Barca’s transfer targets!...replacement for David Villa may be?
    ---------------

    Boring… I just ignore all talk about RvP. Basically media have a license now as they have learnt that we are vulnerable to such news… Howver what is more important is RvP is rested for international friendly against Germany.

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  8. Pretty football with no end result SS11.

    Thanks for biting.

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  9. Haha Jack, that was more like a bark and not bite ;)

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  10. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/15723707.stm
    -------------------
    Funds will be available, as is Carlos Tevez. Would be a good buy for Ipswich. ;)

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  11. 'Appy Birfday Spits.

    Nice to see a few new posters on here today. Keep it comin lads.

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  12. I suspect Bradford City rather than Manchester City is where we'll spend our cash SS11.

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  13. India all over the footy map now SS. The mighy LFC running some coaching camp of some sort in Mumbai. Couple of Indian players on trial (in a non-Gerrard way) with Rangers. Good stuff.

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  14. Yeah Ian Rush had come to Mumbai and he did pose to camera. India has got loads of money and thats why other sports are turning there attention here now. Cricket has grown enough to look after itself, we need to develop other sports as well.

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  15. Cheers lads.

    As I always remind me mum and dad, valentine's Day is to be taken seriously as is right.

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  16. Why Scotty Parker is the embodiement of English male from the good 'ol days

    http://twitpic.com/7dknsh/full

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  17. Good Blog Robbo

    We used our 6 subs cos we were knackered,(mind you so did Spain)
    The gameplan worked against a team so much superior than ours, lets see how we do against a side that we SHOULD beat, in other words we do the attacking most of the time

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  18. Good stuff Robbo, Happy Birthday Spit.

    Blimey, it was a bad week for 'arry. That could kill his England chances, Big Sam then?

    Best week I've had for ages, England found a way to win and Bolton didn't play.

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  19. Trott.
    Being an artful tax dodger will probably work in his favour.

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  20. we should get Ken Dodd as manager then! And Lester Piggot for the U21's.

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  21. Heh, Pigot as manager and a bigot aa captain.

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  22. Return of the sick fucking twat cunt

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/15719318.stm

    incredibly, he thinks its his duty as england captain to face up to racism charges.

    oi cunt, its not the england team thats been accused of being racist.

    ITS YOUR ARSEHOLE OF A MUG THATS BEEN CAUGHT PISSING ON A TEAMMATE.

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  23. O cheers lads. appreciate the kind wishes.

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  24. Heres a bad joke. Midnight. Two nuns driving in Transylvania when a vampire flies at the car.
    Nun turns to the other nun and shouts "show him your cross!".
    Other nun winds down the window and shouts "Oi! Fuck off!"

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  25. First up, happy birthday Spit.

    "Blimey, it was a bad week for 'arry. That could kill his England chances, Big Sam then?"

    That wont kill 'arry's chances Trot, more likely enhance them if Terry is anything to go by.

    I agree with much of what you say Robbo... you must be getting better 'cause I find I am agreeing with you more often than not lately... well done lad.

    You are right H2... it's a shame Parker is no youngster... once again it shows that you have to be playing for one of the top teams to be selected for England... Parker has been deserving of a place in the national team for a number of years but he has always played for a less fashionable team.

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  26. Bon Anniversaire Spit.

    Great blog Robbo. Just for a minute when I saw the title of your blog, I thought this was another Fergie love-in. Happy to see the second T in Scott.

    As for Ingerlund, is it coincidence that we produce a good team performance in the absence of the 'star player' and stroppy little pillock, Mr Rooney? It seems there is a gameplan that is stuck to when he isn't around. And Parker's sudden emergence really does prove the point about players being picked on who they are and who they play for, rather than actual talent. Presumably the England scouts are like McNulty and only pick the juicy matches to go and watch.

    Why Glen Johnson is picked is beyond me. He hasn't played all season for his club, comes back from injury for one match and is straight back in the national starting XI. I've only watched the highlights of the game from the other night, but it was enough to see that he was shite.

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  27. Here's some pretty smart birds. It would appear they have managed what many humans have been unable to do for years... make sense of a subway timetable.

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  28. Friends of Carlos Tevez say the striker is refusing to return to Manchester City because he is suffering from depression, and has a doctor's certificate to prove it.
    -------------------------------------------

    I'm sure that if i was earning £250k per week I'd also be able to find a doctor to write me a certificate saying pretty much whatever I wanted it to.

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  29. Jack, I just read Jewell will have a few quid to spend in January. Sold a few tractors this year eh.

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  30. We've got a wealthy owner Bo.Marcus Evans.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Evans

    He's thrown a few quid over the last couple of seasons into the transfer market.The Championship is such an open division that if Jewell spends well over January you never know.

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  31. I am telling ya Carlos Tevez will be the new Jewell in Ipswich's crown ;)

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  32. We're hanging on for RvP SS11,he's leaving the sinking ship soon enough as well.

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  33. A good win for England which will hopefully be followed by another one tonight.

    I hope Welbeck and Rodwell start as I would like to see how they play for a full match along with Phil Jones in defence.

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  34. I've got a doctors certificate saying I'm suffering from narcolepsy sparked off by the mention of tevezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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  35. Unfortunately the racist cuckolding failure is back as captain. Which should do for team spirit what an iceberg did for the Titanic. Movie rights now available so long as Celine Dion is NOT involved (with JT or any attempt at singing).

    Jedi.

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  36. fuck the team captained by Terry and watch hollad vs. Germany instead.

    no xenophobes or racists there. honest.

    they're putting the SS back in Verfassungsschutz.

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  37. I'll of course be watching that game tonight Spit.

    I expect ze duitsers to win as I think the Dutch squad is pretty decimatated, should be a good game though.

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  38. Spit
    As a colleague said to me today,there are no friendlies between the Oranjes and Jerry. Even preseason friendly HSV v Ajax got a little bit boisterous on the streets
    I think I will keep away from downtown tonight

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  39. Indeed Tone.

    Althoughit's not nearly as bad as it was 20 years ago, there is still no love lost between the dutch and the eastern neighbours.

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  40. So AW was too busy playing Football Manager, LOL

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  41. Is it racist to state that the Netherlands is the greatest country in the world and Germany can go fuck themselves?

    Dutch style coffee shops vs the Wehrmacht.

    Gimmee all your loving...........

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  42. That guy was really funny..the hansen and jose/ronaldo bits had me guffawing out loud in the office.

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  43. H,

    may the team from the best host nation win.


    Germany vs. Holland, here we go.

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  44. I am waiting for the Oracle to predict tonight's England v Sweden result... where art thou O mighty Blog.

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  45. If Gareth Barry and Bobby Zamora are the answer then I think we must be asking the wrong question.

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  46. Colch,
    they are apprently the 'young blood' that Capello can count on.

    meanwhile in Germany a feity game sees Germany takes lead. I suggest you all switch over.

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  47. Well that was always going to happen after I questioned Barry being in the team.

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  48. Seen the replay. It was going wide so it's an own goal. Why is Barry in the team?

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  49. Definitely an own goal Colch. Thank heavens for that, or him scoring would just have meant a place in the starting 11 for the Euros.

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  50. This is a pretty poor second 11 that England has on the park... apart from Walcott and Downing there is little happening up front. I still question why Jones is playing midfield... mind you after he missed the open goal I have no doubt Capello will have him playing up front in Rooney's absence next game. Baines and Wlaker are doing a good enough job but they don't have a lot to defend really... Sweden are not making too many chances themselves.

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  51. Bo - I predict 1-0 at half time

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  52. Never been a big fan of Downing but must admit he's done ok so far tonight and appears to have learned how to deliver the ball into the box which is always handy for a winger.

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  53. How are the carrot crunchers doing vs the Nazis?

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  54. Sturridge in abaht tarm

    .....

    Few sides have had as much recent success over England, with Sweden unbeaten in their last 12 meetings, including a 2-2 draw in the last clash during the 2006 World Cup.
    Martin Peters, Bobby Charlton and Roger Hunt were the three names on the score-sheet the last time England beat Sweden, back in 1968.

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  55. The last time Dutch defence was so bad, the French did not have time to pack before Paris surrendered.

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  56. This has degenerated into a who can pass worst contest

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  57. Downing is a bit like Beckham... has a good cross but little else in the locker... I've never understood why Milner is picked either... still Capello is paid for doing what he does so fair dues.

    Anyway I am off to my imaginary... as much as I'd like to hang around and watch either Sweden score a late equaliser or England grab the clincher two minutes from time I have to go earn some dollars for my next trip.

    Good preciction Blog... could you get it in a little earlier next time.

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  58. Sloppy, lackluster performance from the Dutch against a very efficient, young, skillful German team. The rest of Europe beware!!!

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  59. So by my reckoning we could end up in a group with Spain, France and Portugal. Or preferably Poland, Denamrk and Ireland/Sweden. I'd be quietly confident of progressing from the second group. Not so much the first.

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  60. Are there many better defensive midfielders than Khadiera or Schweinsteiger?

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  61. Spitfire said...
    Are there many better defensive midfielders than Khadiera or Schweinsteiger?
    -----------------------------------
    Gareth Barry?

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  62. I see Colch, it is indeed a comedy blog.

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  63. Ze Germans looked good Spit. Still I'm not going to read too much into this result, too many players missing for Oranje, however the young manschaft play some good stuff and their goals were well taken.

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  64. H,

    the Germans were missing some players too (schweinsteiger, Lahm, Gomez) but what i appreciate is that they have some how combined the quick passing and closing down game of barca/spain with a more direct, quick break game thats more PL suited.

    Will be an interesting tournament next year. the dutch are very dangerous in attack too, RvP, RvdV, Robben etc were missing and i am sure the team will be massivley improved by their return. Still have some ironing out to do in the defence. They were cut apart far too easily by the speedy Müller and Özil.

    on another note, spain are losing 2:0 to Costa Rica so no team that cannot be beaten and a bunch of plucky small countries (talking to you Ireland) palying for their pride all point to a tasty summer next year.

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  65. Just realised, due to the internationals break, my tenure at the top pf the h2h league has lasted an extra week.

    BBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGG!

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  66. Beware ze Germans, they played good tonight

    Scruffy win for England

    went across to meine Kneipe after both games, they were enthused, classy goals

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  67. Brag you can, Spit

    you v Mike
    Me v average
    H2h v Trott

    come on the Wanders & Mike

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  68. what, me and H this week? Best go check the line up, this could make or break the season!

    We'll have half a litre on this one H.

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  69. I liked the Sweden shirt lastnight. About the only thing I took from the game.

    Up against Bo in the Robbo H2H this week, after he crushed me a few weeks ago. Pushing for the Champs League places in that league so should be a good game. In Jack's H2H I'm up against bottom-of-the-table McKenna's Missiles, so hopefully a win there which should see me climb the table to around about mid-table obscurity. Best of luck to everyone else.

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  70. Cheers Noel... and apart from any players you have the same as me I hope all yours get booked, don't score and your defence lets in a netfull... other than that have a good one mate. D

    Well I've just finished installing all my stuff onto the new computer, now I'm waiting around for it to crash.

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  71. Capello has apparently unearthed loads of young players for England

    Terry, Berry, Zamora....

    For Fuck Sake

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  72. I've got Adam and Colch this week. Just about made the top 10 in both H2Hs last week..hope it can stay that way this week.

    I wont be around to watch it unfold though, off to Jamaica with the wife and kid to celebrate 10 years of wedded bliss.

    Hoping for a Liverpool victory at Stamford Bridge!

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  73. 10years of welded blitz? You get less than that for murder, AH

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  74. not only do you get less than 10 years for murder, you get out even seener for good behaviour.

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  75. You get out of the marriage sooner for bad behavious Spit.

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  76. There were times during those 10 years where being welded would have been less painful.

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  77. Yet more proof that Sepp Blatter is a fucking idiot......

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/15757165.stm

    "There is no racism, but maybe there is a word or gesture which is not the correct one," he told CNN World Sport. "The one affected by this should say this is a game and shake hands."

    Really Sepp? I'd like some of whatever you've been smoking.

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  78. Really Sepp? I'd like some of whatever you've been smoking.

    Yep, very insightful comment. NOT.

    Smoking Amsterdam's finest is the true test of civilisation.

    "I think therefore I must be stoned out of my bejesus".

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  79. I think he'd need to be smoking something considerably stronger than what is on offer in Amsterdam to come up with that idea HA.

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  80. No colch he's right, theres no racism in sport, not according to Suarez and terry anyway

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  81. HA, you sure got me fucked mate... I have read that post a number of times and I'm buggered if I can make head nor tail of it. Still, each to their own.

    The big question of the day is, why would anyone want to hire award winning architects to design a 7mx4m garden shed? Our Mr Rooney seems to have done just that... my guess is, he is constructing a small granny flat in his back yard.

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  82. More idiotic idea's from Europe, this one from Sandro Rosell (Barcelona president). He wants the PL to be reduced to 16 teams (along with other top leagues in Europe.) He also wants to reduce the number of International friendlies played each year. This idea is not, as you may think, to ease the workload of the players, it is to enable things such as friendlies between Barcelnoa and Un**ed to be played on a Saturday or to increase European competitions.

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  83. "It's a great achievement, walking the side out, and I'm very proud to do that."
    ===========================================

    For someone of Terry's mentality, just walking while breatahing is an achievement so I can understand why he sees walking "the side" out as such an accomplishment.

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  84. Hmmm..I have just uncovered the fact that it's not just Suarez but LFC as a team are racist. Going through our PL squad of 25, there is only just one non-white player in Johnson (and he's barely a player, so should not really count). I'll bet every other team in the PL has at least 2.

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  85. HA, I have no clue why you want to stone jesus, but as Bo, says to each his own.

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  86. I was feeling a bit nostalgic today... I went looking for things that reminded me of younger days. I came across this ol' (real) rock'n'roll clip on youtube... dedicating it to Adam.

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  87. Btw... Francis Rossi hits more off notes in that clip than true notes but who cares... the old guys really rock.

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  88. I once bumped into Francis Rossi in a Tesco in Croydon. He was buying some PG Tips tea bags. If it wasn't for his pony tail, I wouldn't have recognised him.

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  89. Looking at our teams, it's going to be a close H2H, Bo. We have three or four players the same, but I think it may come down to your David Silva against my Van der Vaart. Hopefully Suarez will get found guilty of racism and be banned. Alternatively, he'll have to just shake Evra's hand and that'll be punishment enough, eh Sepp?

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  90. Racism Noel... what racism, no racism in football, fifa has abolished it.

    I believe you know my team better than I do mate... since I went to Europe leaving the team unattended and in doing so climbing the ladder, I have decided that that is a good option so I just check in once a week to make sure there are no injuries and leave it at that.... seems to be working for me at the moment.

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  91. England boss Fabio Capello has compared Manchester United youngster Phil Jones to football legend Franco Baresi, who played for him at AC Milan.
    Capello has also likened Jones to former Real Madrid and Span defender Fernando Hierro.
    ----------------------------------------

    So it isn't just the media who put pressure on our young players. It would seem that 19 year old Phil Jones is a combination of arguably Italy's finest ever defender and one of Spain's best defenders of recent times.

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  92. Pop superstar Rihanna had an awkward encounter with Tottenham striker Jermain Defoe after accidentally mistaking him for an Arsenal player.
    --------------------------------------

    Chelsea made a similar embarrassing mistake when they accidentally mistook Fernando Torres for a £50 million centre forward.

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  93. Hiero. he 'as 'ell good, innt.

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  94. Read Blatter's comments on racism. Is anybody even slightly surprised? What else can be expected from the old man who's well past his time. He needs a psychiatric treatment and if he doesnt resign then all FA's should stop participating in FIFA's international matches - friendly or whatever game. He's increasingly becoming thick skinned because of all the commercial wealth he's gained by staying in power for all these years.

    Sepp Blatter, you should resign!!!

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  95. http://www.fifa.com/aboutfifa/organisation/president/news/newsid=1544067/

    Subtle from Sepp.

    Wonder why they chose this picture?

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  96. One quick question, is the ex-captain of France really that emotionally disturbed by the on-field jibes of a Uruguayan slumkid scallywag who looks like he could eat an apple through a letterbox? If so, I hope he never meets Marco Matterazzi.

    On another note, I think we should keep old Stepladder around. With Berlusconi gone and Prince Philip ageing I've got to get my comedy archaic bluster somewhere.

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  97. eh up Tommy B, how goes lad?

    When it comes to racism, the nazis hold no candle to the swiss.

    true that.

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  98. Aye aye Spits.

    I've always thought of the Swiss as impervious to all issues that are unprofitable. A nation of blandly psychotic city traders.

    True dat, though admittedly it's probably a little racist. What a minefield. I'd be most perturned to receive a 10 game ban after just returning, so don't tell Robbo, eh?

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  99. And I prefer Roman candles by the way, pretty

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  100. Big spat between Gordon Taylor of the PFA and Septic Bladder about Bladder's racism comments. Not easy to support either. Machine guns at dawn probably the way forward.


    Jedi

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  101. Mornin Lads. Yo Tommy. Are you in Stanley Park in that picture? Have they broke ground on the new stadium then?

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  102. Now then Trott. The ruins in the background are Goodison Park after I'd finished with it. No more 'restricted view' for the Toffeemen

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  103. highlychucklesome. Your new cousins at the Boston Red Sox are in a bit of trouble, the players have allegedly been drinking during games. Was this another cultural exchange initiative?

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  104. G'day all

    It's Tommy back with us direct from the gaza strip by the looks of things.

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  105. Welcome back tommy b the gene pool was declining to Norfolk proportions

    In other news I see rebekkah wade has hacked into someone's womb

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  106. So the Vatican is upset over Bennetton using an advertising image of Pope Benedict kissing an Imman.

    The Vatican statement said the ad was "damaging to not only to dignity of the pope and the Catholic Church but also to the feelings of believers".

    I wonder if a mocked up picture is more or less "damaging" to the "dignity of the pope and the Catholic Church" than the fact that for hundreds of years Catholic priests have been sexually abusing kids and it's been covered up by the church?

    ReplyDelete
  107. Lovely.

    http://www.independent.ie/national-news/ticketless-irish-fan-sneaks-into-game-by-donning-estonia-tracksuit-2937536.html

    ReplyDelete
  108. G'day all

    There ya go, it was the British media that had misconstrued Blatter's words.

    It does seem however that the rest of Europe was not as put out over Blatter's comments as were the folk in England. Is that because the rest of Europe do not have the problem of racial abuse on the pitch that obviously exists in England. Or maybe the players and people in England are more sensitive to it. Then again maybe it is when the opportrunity presents itself (which occurs often) to jump all over Blatter the English waste no time doing so.

    ReplyDelete
  109. Bo

    I have a certain element of agreement with that(tho I dont like septic just like everybody)
    eg I was reading Die Welt online yesterday, and the story was printed but only mentionning the problems that are occurring in the UK, not saying if there were any exampples in D-land.

    Spit, are you aware of any cases?

    Is the distinction between what happens on the pitch calling someone

    "a dirty bastard"
    or
    "a dirty black bastard"

    but then I think the Spanish and French have problems, as do the Germans generally esp after recent events of the extreme right and a number of murders

    Sorry too serious for this time of the morning, I'll go to work

    ReplyDelete
  110. its a serious issue though isn't it tone, with a couple of those disgusting racist cunts finally being tried for the murder of Stephen Lawrence .... racism is with us now and always, them and us, scapegoating the outgroup.... an insult on the football pitch which is swept under the carpet is just the first step down this road. and pieces of shit like Suaretz need to know that he's one of the them and not one of the us

    England is relatively well integrated ethnically precisely because we make a fuss over the first signs what worries me mist is not the buffoon in charge of fifa its the silence from abroad. Germany of all places....

    The sun ridicules Blatter hugging the black man on their front cover today. Fucking idiot.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Tone,

    there have been a couple of cases of racial abuse being directed at coloured players but that has been mostly in the Eastern Germany (no teams form the former easter Germany are currently in the Bundes Liga) but they have all been dealt with rather swiftly and strongly by the DFB (german FA) with some right wing extremists and menbers of the Ultras been een given jail terms. the club themselves have been fined heavily and been forced to play behind closed doors.

    The Spanish are the worst I must say, followed closely by the Italians, the hungarians etc.

    England is by far the most friendly place to live if you are a minority of all the places in europe.

    Switzerland: now here's a place that would 'tolerate' you if you have loads of money but for a place ot live and raise a family if any of your grandparents failed to be anything other that white, I'd look elsewhere. Its this latent racism thats the worst where people dont say abusive things or break shop windows of immigrant because they simply dont need to. behind the scenes though, on dinner tables or in pubs, they do like to emphasise how superior they themselves are and how bloody nice of them to bestow their 'tolerance' to the unworthy. Dont trust me, just ask a German and they'd tell you the Swiss think far too highly of themselves.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Interesting piece in today's Times re Blatter.Noone (Plymouth?Exeter?Buxton reserves?) is commenting at all on it except the British.

    Is that because we are the only ones that take it(racism) seriously?Or are we the only ones with the problem?Or is it,as Bo says,because any chance we get to jump on Blatter we take?

    ReplyDelete
  113. jacks,

    I think it is because we (the England) is perhaps the most open when it comes to accepting the change. First to accept and acknowledge the perversions of Roman Church, absolute monarchy etc etcc and after the Empire had fallen and readily the first to accept the after effects of having had an empire that extended across all continents.

    its not all been smooth sailing or pain free but the integration and tolerance is second to none in europe.

    ReplyDelete
  114. Ah, at last we can move away from international nonsense and concentrate back on PL. Surprisingly all of my FFL squad was still intact. My unbeaten run of 4 wins before the int'l break sees me fighting for 4th place.

    ReplyDelete
  115. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/15782265.stm
    -----------------------
    First he commits a sin and then says sorry by going into a confession room. However that doesnt wipe out the actual sin he did.

    He should be taken 5000 ft high above Bermuda Triangle and be threatened to be thrown from the helicopter. He's sick, he should be tortured to slow death, use some of the Inception movie techniques and install a fearful dream in his mind which would stop him from making any public appearances.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Blatter has appologised for causing offence.


    Why the fuck are they always 'sorry to cause any offence' but not sorry for being utter twat cunts of miserable human beings is what I have always wondered.

    ReplyDelete
  117. He hasn't said sorry for what he said,just sorry if anyone was offended.

    Knob that he is.

    ReplyDelete
  118. On a lighter note try this for a very very very literal translation

    Meine nachbarin hat kohlmeisen aber was macht ein hahn auf meinem esel

    http://translate.google.de/#

    ReplyDelete
  119. Well Blatter was never found to resign was he the shameless twonk, but he'd better stay away from arsenal.....

    Here's the towering genius if Emmanuel Frimpong on Twitter.....

    If Blatter Ever Come to Arsenal am Gna Frimpong Him

    ReplyDelete
  120. Here's the even toweringering geniuser, qpr's baron von warnock.......

    But who is going to sack him? I don't see that anybody is going to sack him. I think the only way we could get him out of the situation that he is in if every black player in the country, in every country, refused to play in the next international game. That's the only way.

    Warnock = Idiot.

    ReplyDelete
  121. Doesn't look great that we've still got terry as capt though does it?

    ReplyDelete
  122. Good to see that UEFA are following Blatter's lead by hitting racism with the punishment it deserves......

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/15800517.stm

    "The Bulgarian Football Union (BFS) has been fined £34,230 by Uefa for 'discriminatory behaviour'"

    Just call it fucking racism you morons. Monkey noises being directed at black players is not "discriminatory behaviour" it's racism. Or was it ok because the fans offered to shake hands afterwards.

    I wonder how big the fine would've been if England had worn poppies on their shirts against Spain?

    ReplyDelete
  123. I don't know if we will ever be rid of racism. It is said that time and education will eventually work... it hasn't improved a lot over the past 50 years... the only thing that has changed is there are more people speaking out against it, so I guess that is an improvement

    ReplyDelete
  124. I don't know Blog... have you ever been Frimponged? I don't think that is something to be taken lightly.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Meine nachbarin hat kohlmeisen aber was macht ein hahn auf meinem esel

    Tone, was that a quote from Helsinki Arab?

    ReplyDelete
  126. Tokyo Sexwale... now there is a name suitable for a porn star and no it isn't a blog alias, it is the name of the south african minister and member of fifa's fair-play comittee who rightfully condemned John Terry and said he should be banned from football for his racial abuse of Ferdinand but then merely stated that Blatter was wrong for making the comments that he did yet did not call for his resignation. And that has to be the longest bloody sentence I have ever written.

    ReplyDelete
  127. typical united fans...

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-west-wales-15751878

    ReplyDelete
  128. according to Der Spiegel the UK is das kranke empire. Fandabby-dozy!

    ReplyDelete
  129. I'd like to congratulate kryptonite on making a bicycle lock so thief proof that not even I can open it, not even with the key.

    ReplyDelete
  130. SS said...

    He should be taken 5000 ft high above Bermuda Triangle and be threatened to be thrown from the helicopter.
    -------------------------------------------------

    Jeez SS. Are you Argentine? 30,000 Argentine people went missing in the 70s/80s and were thrown out of planes and helicopters over the ocean by the people ruling the country. I think they called it Frimponging. Maybe the same could be organised for Carlos Tevez?

    ReplyDelete
  131. They probably just went on holidays Noel

    ReplyDelete
  132. I'm in trouble today.

    It's Ar***al V Norwich.

    Who the hell do you cheer for with that one?

    Norwich plan to bring 10,000 fans with them.It's one family having a day out.

    OOH AAAARRRR inbred time.

    The stewards will know who's following Norwich,the 6 fingers will help.

    ReplyDelete
  133. It's a tragic story, but not as great as the headline suggests:

    http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/8376595/ninja-dies-after-cow-falls-on-him

    ReplyDelete
  134. Sounds like they are the English Kentuckians Jack... I wouldn't say they are all inbred but I knew a girl from Kentucky who's brother was her father and his father was her older brother which made him her grandfather. She was rather unique though, she had a pair of tits on her back as well as her front which was handy because she had a head like a robber's dog and I used to make her face away from me while fucking her.

    ReplyDelete
  135. Oh dear, the Arsenal defence embarrased again.

    ReplyDelete
  136. 4 clear chances for arsenal but a howler from mertesacker means its Norwich that lead 1:0.

    Oh footy, thou art a bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  137. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/15804105.stm

    Wenger news.

    ReplyDelete
  138. saw that one coming from a distance jacks.

    he's done more than enough to be judged by a catastrophic start to the season which came to force because of how the board has handled transfers/player wages.

    I bet there will bea hos tof clubs forming and orderly queue for his signature should he choose to make true on leaving Arsenal at the end of the season.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Not a lot to talk about in the first half. Mertesacker fucks up and Walcott sets up van Persie for a tap in.

    It seems to me that the scout searching for defenders need to be replaced... 1.5 from 5 is not too good as far as I am concerned.

    There are very few players that come back from a broken leg and play with the same verve displayed before the break. Ramsey unfortunately is not one of the few. I think the gunners could do well in offloading him, as they did Pires.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Disagree Bo.

    I think Ramsey is doing just fine.

    ReplyDelete
  141. 3 points will do me.

    I for one do not want Wenger to leave at the end of the season. There is nobody else around that I could envisage taking over from him.

    I can understand how he feels though... he was building a team around Fabregas and to a lesser extent Nasri and they both pulled the pin at the same time leaving him with a midfield bereft of real talent. Wilshire is a fine player and will be a welcome addition to a midfield that is lacking class at the moment.

    If Wenger does leave at the end of the season then his successor is going to have a bit of team building to do.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Wengers goes, rvp goes. Then you're fucked, bo.

    ReplyDelete
  143. Jim gannon would be an excellent replacement at the dancing academy

    He'd sort them out. Introduce a bit of true grit.

    ReplyDelete
  144. John Terry and Luis Suarez will wear anti-racism T-shirts before Sunday's Premier League game between Chelsea and Liverpool at Stamford Bridge. It is the final fixture of Kick It Out's 'weeks of action' to raise awareness.

    .....

    And in other news Blatter will be wearing Kick out Fuckwittery and the Pope will be wearing Kick out Catholicism t-shirts

    ReplyDelete
  145. Sepp Blatter's kids defend their father

    "He's totally against racism in football", said Ku, Klux and Klan.

    ReplyDelete
  146. Spits/Tony.

    From the beeb.

    1538: Incredible story from Germany where the Bundesliga match between Cologne and Mainz was called off 40 minutes before kick-off after the referee tried to commit suicide. Babak Rafati was found in his hotel room less than two hours before the scheduled start time. The 41 year-old is in Hospital his condition is unknown.

    ReplyDelete
  147. Apparently the makers of I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here originally wanted Yoko Ono to take part.But after much research the offer to her was withdrawn as she would find the bushtucker trials to easy.She's been living off a dead Beatle for years.

    ReplyDelete
  148. Jacks

    From what I have read, he was found in the bath with a lot of the red stuff after cutting an artery. One report did say that notes were left, but no further info

    ReplyDelete
  149. Heather mills lives off a live one

    How do you annoy heather mills?
    Nick clegg.

    ReplyDelete
  150. bayern Munich lost at home to Borussia dortmund

    Alex Song has his work cut out for him in keeping Götze quite.

    ReplyDelete
  151. Richards letting Crapello know the very best way.

    ReplyDelete
  152. Bo, it's going to be close mate. You're 8 points ahead with three players to come, but I have 5 players to come. We both have Enrique so I need a big game from VDV, Adebayor, or Mata and hope Suarez get's sent off for biting a black man while handballing off the goal line.

    Just watched the 10 best goals shortlist. Has to be between Neymar and Stankovic for me. Rooney's scuff gets outshone by the Lisandro Lopez overhead. I just love the shocking first touch of Rooney in the build up too - Berbatov plays it in to him and it bounces about 10 yards off him.

    ReplyDelete
  153. Gareth Southgate has emerged as a shock candidate to be the next England manager.
    --------------------------------------------
    Hahahahahaha.

    ReplyDelete
  154. I know. Let's follow the Guardian's lead and condemn every British white footballer on the planet.

    Or, we can think like adults. Racism is NOT the major problem it's portrayed as.

    Diving, Ref abuse, spitting, obscene wages, ticket prices, alienation of the true supporter. Causes that need to be dealt with.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Chelsea's defence made to look silly again today, that's two home defeats on the trot now. I can sense a very nervous Russian at Stamford Bridge, history teaches us that Villa Boas' days in the PL are numbered.

    After Arsenals worst ever start to a PL season were now 3pts off 3rd place. Club in crisis, indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  156. That's as insightful, intelligent and adult as any post you've ever written here, HA. I particularly like the idea that its all orchestrated by the Guardian.

    The Romans knew what they were doing when they built that fucking wall.

    ReplyDelete
  157. My traditional gift of 3 points in the Robbo Blog H2H league this weekend will be to Cheadle Tractor Boys who have so far got 60 points with no players left to play. My lot have got 19 points (with one to come off the bench) and Ekoto, Fanny Fart and Adebuywhore to play tomorrow. Not sure if it's possible for 3 players to score a total of 41 points in a single game (especially as none of them are my captain)

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  158. Diving, Ref abuse, spitting, obscene wages, ticket prices, alienation of the true supporter. Causes that need to be dealt with.
    ==============================================

    You missed out racism there HA.

    ReplyDelete
  159. Hopefully they dont get you more than 30 pts Colch, as that would mean you pipping me in jacks h2h. Currently sitting pretty against both you and Adam. Victory in both H2hs 2 gameweeks running is exactly what I need.

    Ah, if onl qe could've tapped in a couple against Norwich and Swansea, we`d be all alone in 4th.

    ReplyDelete
  160. I'm hoping for a 10-0 Spurs win tomorrow night with Fanny Fart and Adebuywhore scoring 5 each and Ekoto setting all 10 up. Think I might just about get enough points then.

    ReplyDelete
  161. Diving, Ref abuse, spitting, obscene wages, ticket prices, alienation of the true supporter. Causes that need to be dealt with.
    ---------------
    And that's just in tennis and cricket.


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