Monday 14 March 2011

Arsene Around

Gooners. RIP, almost. Well for another year any road.

There are questions that recur in life. Why when it is so necessary does water tasted so fucking bland? Why can’t Paul Scholes tackle? Who watches Homes Under The Hammer? But my favourite at the mo: How long has Arsene Wenger got?

'Taxi! S'il vous plait!'

There’s no way Arsenal would ditch the Frenchman completely – his presence runs through Arsenal like that yeller streak down Audley Harrison’s spine.

And your average supporter – and by that I don’t mean Croydon born and bred but Man U through and through, I mean those of us that are through a third set of dentures having ground down the previous choppers watching a never-ending clump of numpties let us down - we’re still thinking we’d kill to be still in four competitions come March, even if we’re out of three by, well, not much later in March.

But Wenger did two things when he came to Arsenal. He won trophies; and he did it in a nice way. I say ‘nice’ – that’s overlooking the fact that in Winterburn, Bould, Adams and Keown there was already in place a set of defenders so intimidating that Wes Craven could’ve thrown ‘em straight into a movie without giving the lass in make-up so much as a text message.

Hindsight’ll tell you that Wenger’s Invincibles were founded on Henry’s goals and more to the point a rock solid defence with the best holding midfielder the Premier League’s seen in Patrick Vieira. (If you tell me it was Roy Keane I’d be hard pressed to disagree so I’d suggest a tie-break between them. Give em a 12-inch deep-crust pepperoni each and he that has the least mozzarella left on him after twenty minutes is the winner. Although I think they already tried that in 2004.

And what sort of bloke would bring a pizza into work anyway? What next? A twelve-bore shotgun?)

Incidentally, anyone else notice that Sr Torres told La Marca that the atmos at Chelsea is far better than it was at Liverpool (obviously that was before that twinkly little tinker Kenny came back in). He said: “Here, you don’t have to prove you are a professional, it is assumed.”

Yeah, apparently that Jamie Carragher couldn’t hit a frigging elephant with an air-rifle let alone a student. And Nando says there’s lots of laughs and japes at the Bridge too. Like what, a sweepstake for how long it takes Drogba to get up after some defender breathes on him? Ho, ho. Or the who-can-take-the-laziest-penalty competition. (Anelka judges that one as it’d be unfair to let him compete).

Jeez, if them boys in blue are assumed to be professional then the world has truly gone tits up. Which of course it has for way too many poor souls, so let’s not dwell there.

Where was I? Wenger, yes.

You compare that Pizzagate 11 to the one he might put out today and where is the flinty midfielder? Where is the 25-goal a season striker? Where is the Campbell/Toure centre-back pairing. On Saturday Djourou wore the expression of a surprised heron chick and the eager Koscielny is horribly worrying, not least cos, like Lee Van Cleef before him, he is has a profile even when he's looking straight at you.


I suppose at least the last three results give the explanation for the question ‘Why the long face?’

There’s no doubt that this latest collection of Wenger Boys are all Arsene’s own work. He is pretty much to blame for their success or failure. The fact is all these kids have been brought up to keep the ball. Ping it about. One-twos, give-and-gos. Lovely.

Trouble is no one’s ever taught them how to do owt else. Now you might say they’re trying to emulate Barca (oops, man-size tissues out for the pundits). But even I’ve seen Barca bung Pique up front for the last ten minutes. And any road, Barca’s players do it way better. The little dinked-pass by Iniesta and the sneaky finish by Messi after Cesc’s ‘Sign Me Boys’ backheel last week... you don’t see Arsenal unpicking a defence that ruthlessly. At least not nearly as often.

And so teams do what they have to against the North Londoners. And that’s what Man U did on Saturday. He explicitly did it as it happens. Seven defenders on the park. One bank of four, one bank of five, lone striker, defend from the edge of your box and... let ‘em have the ball. Birmingham’s tactics in other words.

And then play it long and watch the Clouseauesque back four try and deal with you. It’s not sophisticated but by ‘eck it works. Arsenal’s travails against weaker teams in the FA Cup just illustrate their frailty.

Beauty is skin-deep they say in which case Wenger may have put together a side that is as beautiful as they come. But it’s a kind of, I dunno, that lass out of the Amelie films beauty.

Lovely to look at but, bless, you wonder if it couldn’t be a bit dirtier. (That’s a tad Keysish but you take my point.)

Now I should say that I love what Arsene has brought to our footy. We’re a better place, even with the hissy fits, the whinges and them terrible bouts of temporary blindness. But time is up for him if you ask me. And some bloke on 606 came up with the replacement:

Owen Coyle. Took Bolton – plodding alehouse grinders in the Allardyce mould. Taught them to use the grass but never eschews a big hump up to Cap’n Elbows when he needs it. Might just lead the Trotters to Cup Glory as homage to that epitome of all things un-Arsene Nat Lofthouse. And Arsene still overseeing like an elderly Merlin.

Of course fans of the victors’ll be making two bloody expensive trips to Wembley. Please get the semis back on neutral territory in a venue that suits the supporters , not the pockets of the bleeding FA!

254 comments:

  1. I think tradition dictates that I say "FIRST!!!"

    But I'm not a twat so I won't.

    We all hate manc scum, we all hate manc scum....

    ReplyDelete
  2. So now Monsieur Tippy Tap wants to sign Lehman again, must be coz Van de Sar got man of the match.. or because of the Carling Cup Final calamity.. or because David Seaman is too busy...or because they only have Amlmunia left which is a bit like having to pick the awkward kid who's always left at the end.

    I know desperate times call for desperate measures but for fucks sake.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Cracking blog Robbo. I'm not sure that Trotts would agree with Owen Coyle to Arsenal though.

    I see Nani is mysteriously fit again for the game against Marseille this week. I predicted that last week when he was first injured. It's just a cut at the end of the day. It's stitched up so put a bandage around it, put a shin pad and socks on and start fucking playing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Fact:
    The people who complained that there are not enough seats at Villa Park for a FA-Semifinal are the same people who complain that the Semifinals are at Wembley now.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Blackburn are planning a £15m bid for Arsenal striker Nicklas Bendtner in the summer.
    ----------------------------------------------

    There you go SS - that's one of your players sold for your asking price.

    ReplyDelete
  6. good stuff Robbo, well, most of it was as Noel pointed out! Wenger's good entertainment, I hope he stays beyond his blindness and well into senility. Now we have Arsenal TV over here it's must watch stuff.

    As for OC going to the emirates, I reckon there'll be cries of "Judas" at the Reebok but for the right price they can terminate his contract and he can take Mandy with him, he'll fit right in.

    Please keep it quiet about Bolton being in the semis. I like it much better when everyone yaps about Stoke and the Mancunians!

    Bring back Bob Wilson should be the theme for two weeks!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Theyre a bit of a Barcelona tribute team in the spirit of the bootleg Beatles, Fake That, bjorn again, but are in dangerof becoming a comedy parody like - a personal favorite - the Gutter Band

    Perhaps Arsene could change his name by deed poll to Eh Pep! and rename his team Arselona or the Bootleg Barcalonians

    perhaps its too bleeding obvious to blend the refinement of continental finesse with a bit of strong ARM. man u/ chelski seem to have done ok with this approach....arsenal aren't the only team who play attractive football

    there's a kind of purist vanity involved

    ReplyDelete
  8. with arsenal, seem that when it matters, the players don't perform. maybe it's mentality ... they don't have 'real' leader on the pitch. gallas was a joke. cesc, well, he doesn't have the 'aura', does he?

    ReplyDelete
  9. if you missed the Gutter Band - best gig i ever went to in my life including pogues st paddys night and the stranglers gig when jet blacks drumstick hit me on the head - youve missed them, Aliddin Pain, Roy WOuldnt, Alice pooper Elvis Presstud and joe Waddy-Waddy are no more - split up 3 years ago i just learned. their show featured:

    * The authentic Spinning Man
    * The real Glam ramp
    * The genuine Robin reliant boot
    * Raleigh Chopper
    * Space Hopper no.41
    * Exploding Space Helmet
    * Real Undertakers Coffin
    * Unique Rotating platform plus much, much more! * The unbeatable classic two drummers - see them evolve from their traditional role and become mobile among the audience.

    RIP

    ReplyDelete
  10. its like you put the heart of an arsenal fan in a blender.

    All true mind.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Prediction: Failure to win the league this season will lead to Arsene Wenger resigning from his position at the end of the season.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Good blog Robbo!
    I can't disagree much on all that you said about Arsene. Time has come for him to step down for the good of Arsenal irrespecitve we win or dont win the league. He can concentrate on what he likes to do - train youngsters at Arsenal Academy.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Noel,
    I think I put in reasonable prices for all players. Although you may be right about A Young being more costlier than 20m which I quoted. But again if we spend about 30m + for him, then we bloggers would be the first to pounce upon Arsene and say English players are overpaid and it's rubbish money etc etc...

    ReplyDelete
  14. "Why when it is so necessary does water tasted so fucking bland?" Huh? Write that after a sesh down the pub did you? :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Aresenal - a team with no defence - bad. Spurs - a team with no defence - good. Discuss.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Roger T said...
    Aresenal - a team with no defence - bad. Spurs - a team with no defence - good. Discuss
    ----------------------------------------

    tenacious vs. unsure

    ReplyDelete
  17. Or we could discuss my team - Everton - a team with no attack. Actually let's not bother, it's too depressing, and I'm supposed to be working....could be worse I suppose, I could support the Smoggies.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Spurs and their defence have the ability to pleasantly surprise and generally bamboozle doubters hen they least expect it.

    Arsenal's defence you know full well sooner or later it'll all fall apart.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Nut Loftshed - Legend!

    Mornin' all, after a sleepless night ruminating on the OC to Arsenal ponderings, I've concluded that it won't happen, that he'll go to Liverpool, City or United one of these days and that shutting down 606 was a very good idea.

    Have a nice day!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Starfire - just looked at your dormant blog where you moan about petrol costing a hefty £1.23 a litre. Would we not all kill for £1.23 a litre now? And why don't you do your blog anymore? It's ranting is right up my alley (oooer missus) and somewhat akin to my own pointless drivel...:)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Just don't get the time for it any more Roger.
    lol £1.23 a litre .... we had it good back in the olden days.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I hate to say this but most people are leaving out the most important factor in all of this "Arsenal falling apart" saga - bad luck. They've been very unlucky in both losing to a freak goal and being drawn against the top teams in the European and FA cups. If Arsenal got pretty much anyother teams in these competitions they had a much better chance. I still think Wenger is flawed as a manager though because hes way too naive and can be blinded by emotion quite a lot.

    What about United's chances of the treble? It would be the funniest thing ever if they got it.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Rod,

    wont be first time a united team won more than what the 'pundits' thought it was worth.

    The key is Fergie of course, he knows how to build teams around his best players available and never to lose the core that the new players join ...

    ReplyDelete
  24. How much is petrol now? It's between 47p and 53p a litre here in NJ and the locals are going fuckin' nuts!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Pretty expensive, lucky I don't drive

    http://www.petrolprices.com/

    ReplyDelete
  26. Petrol's £1.33 diesel's £1.40 here.

    Fucking thieving bastards.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Its handy in Derry cuz everythings pretty much a 40 min walk away max. I think the USA should up the tax on petrol though cuz they're only gonna make the problem worse if the petrol's a lot cheaper.

    Do you remember the days when diesel was way cheaper than Petrol? Feels like a lifetime ago.

    ReplyDelete
  28. yeah, I think the Irish should up the tax on people who walk 40 minutes to get anywhere.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I remember that in N.Ireland Rod, but I also remember that my Grandad used to fill up at the local farm, as they got subsidised diesel through the EU.

    I also remember, to try and stop this, the authorities dyed it pink to aid detection, unfortunately peoples tanks were not see through.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Jesus, thats definitely one thing the Irish don't need. The tax down south is unbelievable. Everything costs so much more, a pint costs 4-5 Euro, the cheapest paper is a Euro. I won't even go into how expensive the porn is!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Yeah MR us Northern Irish folk are the stokiest people on earth. Even with reduced taxes, excellent health and education services plus free water we're still trying to save a bit of money.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Nice one Robbo.

    I completly agree with your stance against the semi's being held at Wembley, all those poor supporters from oop north having to shell out shed loads to make the (possible) two trips. (Not to bad for the red devil following though)

    It also kind of takes the shine off the final.

    ReplyDelete
  33. SS11.

    From previous blog.

    I can't see Hiddink going back into club management and I wouldn't want KLinsman at the Grove. The Special one wouldn't fit in.

    Benzema has finally found his shooting boots so Real won't let him go. Ashley Young is an English player under contract at Aston Villa which means he will be sold to either Utd or City for at least double his real value and as for Gregory vd Wiel, you probably don't follow the Ere divisie 'cos if you did you'd know that he has been absolutly pants for Ajax this season.

    ReplyDelete
  34. afternoon H,

    still think Wenger will offer his resignation and will be asked by the board to carry on.

    anyone notice some change in wenger's demeanour off late?

    I think he's finally given in to what we found out a couple of years ago that his current bunch lack some vital ingredient.

    there is just too much skill in the team and not enough grit...

    Only one player has got both, wilshire.

    the kid cant do it all on his own.

    ReplyDelete
  35. re arsenal's woes.

    I guess wenger's decided the current crop arent good enough so he's turned back to the ones that were.

    Lehman's back, Henry isnt retired yet, Campbell's still nocking about, Keown looks fresh sitting on the MOTD sofa,...

    before you know it, the invincibles will be resurrected

    ReplyDelete
  36. Arsenal have reiterated their belief that Johan Djourou will miss the rest of the season with a shoulder injury.
    The Swiss Football Association said the 24-year-old's problem was not as bad as first feared and that he was confident of returning to action this month.
    -----------

    what the fuck is going on here?

    Is the club trying to prevent him from playing for the national team or is the national FA bolloxing around to get him involved if he isnt fit?

    I mean, if wenger thinks his season is over, no harm letting him go there, is it?

    ReplyDelete
  37. Can't see Wenger stepping down Spit, I personaly wouldn't want him to either. I do however think he now reailses that his "experiment" is flawed.
    The youth policy was kinda forced on him due to the new stadium and it is a testimony to his managerial skills that during the transition period he has managed to put together a team that can "challenge" for honours and still manage to qualify for the CL year in and year out.
    In my eyes his biggest mistake was letting the experienced players go too soon, a Gilberto Silva would have been great in the dressing room, he re-signed Campbell, yet let Pires go to Villa and Viera sign for Citeh when they both could of came in and done a job for the club which they both professed love for.

    What we most lack is a true leader, I think Cesc is an OK captain, but wat we really need are players that have "been there and done that", guys that can take a game by the scruf of the neck and carry the team kicking and screaming over the finish line. A little bit of tinkering with his policy plus a bit of steel to go with the silk and we could be actually there.

    As for now I'll just hang on and enjoy the ride, we're still in with a chance of winning the PL and if we do all the doom merchants will suddenly be Arsene's biggist fans.

    I remember years of crap football and never really challenging for anything, the glory years have brought with it far too many plastics, glory hunters and fickle fair weather fans. Arsene is by far the best manager we've had in years and I'll support him and his team no matter what, we are now one of the biggest teams in the world and he has had a large say in that happening.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I agree H,

    3 league titles, 4 FA Cups, never finished lower than 4th in the 15 years..... plus a bunch of finals that we werent good enough to win on that day...

    only one club has had it better than that and considering Arsenal must be the only top flight team to have built the stadium, i dont agree with those who think Wenger's a failure.

    He's made some mistakes in letting ppl go too soon and not signing them back when he had the chance... as you mention, Viera, Petit, Campbell.. and look how long scholes, giggs and neville were kept, not only to handle pressure in big matches but also to guide and inspire the younger players...

    ReplyDelete
  39. my post re wenger stepping down was in reference to his own statement two seasons ago before the fans meeting where he said he'd do so if we didnt win anything by end of 2010/2011.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Re Djourou.

    Dislocations are wierd things, if one of the Swiss doctors think they can pop his shoulder back in like a returning cuckoo in one of those annoying clocks that he might be OK. It would be a good thing for us because the thought of rounding off the season with just KOs and Squidy makes me feel mrather unwell.

    Re Lehmann.

    This is a player who's done it, maybe he's a bit passed it, but how great was vd Sar last weekend? He'll only be there as cover for Almunia anyway. If he does get on we'll just need to give him a bucket to fill for behind the goal, so he could then threaten to cover the opposing strikers with piss if they dared to enter his penalty area, he'd do it you know, Jens is a real peanut butter.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I thought as much Spit, I couldn't picture you as suffering from a jerky knee. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  42. apparently Rio ferdinand is 'upset' at losing the england captaincy to Terry on permanent basis.

    how exactly he thinks he'll captain the team from the stands is beyond me.

    For my money, Terry, Rio, Lampard, Barry, Cole, shouldnt be considered for the wales game anyway. let the young players step up and see whats what.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I was there watching stuttgart play their CL group game when Ol Jens 'the mad' Lehman decided he needed to take a piss. so jumped behind the hoardings right next to the photographers and relieved himself while the ball was in the opposition half.

    one of the most surreal things I have seen during a football game

    ReplyDelete
  44. Mine was at Highbury when Sammy Nelson mooned the crowd, spurning the chant "Sammy show us your arse" which was sung for years after.

    ReplyDelete
  45. For those who don't believe it happened;

    http://www.anorak.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sammy-nelson.jpg

    Footy sure has changed, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  46. Re:the players AWs let go when he shouldnt have, if thats the only thing going against him then he is well above the mourinho's of the world in my book. SAF, Mourinho, Rafa have all bought shit players for millions. All managers make mistakes at some point, and after 15 years, if the worst AW's done is let a few good players leave, well, he could have done much worse. If you put points towards performances in the PL and CL, and deduct points for every 10 million spent in transfers over the past 15 years, I think AW would come out at the top spot.And if he is finally at a point where he admits his mistakes, then he is smart enough to rectify them as well. I dont think he will quit until he wins the PL once more.

    If you really want to point out his flaws, then take the gloves off and tell it like it is - He's French.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Not everything French is bad AH.

    They're Fries and way of kissing are not too bad.

    ReplyDelete
  48. french things, that are nice,

    I have some fond memories of an ex. She was something.

    Also, Zidane was french. sort of.

    ReplyDelete
  49. My french comment was purely in jest. some of my best moments have come (no pun intended) while i was being a bit french. Coming from terry-land, i am hardly well positioned to judge other nations.

    ReplyDelete
  50. THey're = their = D'oh.
    ---

    I had a french girlfriend too, ironically a crap kisser.

    Gave great head though. :O

    ReplyDelete
  51. Holloway2Holland said...
    I had a french girlfriend too, ironically a crap kisser.

    Gave great head though. :O
    ----------------------------------------------
    Yet you wasted time kissing?? Typical gunner.

    ReplyDelete
  52. As a ManU fan, I reckon Arsenal are going to be EPL champs this year. If I didn't support ManU, Arsenal would be my team.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Anonymous said...
    As a ManU fan, I reckon Arsenal are going to be EPL champs this year. If I didn't support ManU, Arsenal would be my team.
    --------------------------------
    Trotts, is that you?

    ReplyDelete
  54. cough cough, no AH. I'm fully visible in my idiocy, I tipped Man U for the league even though I'm a Bolton supporter. He must be from London or abroad somewhere.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Doom and gloom. What a load of shite.

    Look, Wenger has faults as does any man, maybe more than some. He does have a bout of blindness a bit too regularly where his boys are concerned, he does whinge and whine a bit too much and although I complain about him quite a bit he is still the best Arsenal maanager in my memory and I certainly wouldn't want him to leave.

    He has allowed our experienced defenders to leave (Toure and Gallas) without having adequate cover which was a big mistake. He is also pig-headed over transfers. I do not go along with his hands being tied due to the new ground being built. It is more to do with his unswerving belief in his youngsters than lack of funds. But his biggest fault is that he has built a football team ideally suited to Ligue 1 rather than the rigours of the PL.

    Anyway, when we win the PL this season (which we will) the doomsayers will be regaling Wenger for the style in which we do so.

    H2, if your girlfriend kissed crap she must have had terrible breath.

    ReplyDelete
  56. If he's a Un**ed supporter he most likely comes from London.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Nothing wrong with French! Half of me is French. Haven't figured out which half yet. Probably my top half cos I wear a beret, a stripey jumper, a string of onions round my neck and smell of garlic.

    And you people in England - chances are that your computer is currently powered by French electricity, seeing as Britain doesn't have enough power stations so buys electricity from the French.

    ReplyDelete
  58. I forgot to add - come on Marseille!!

    ReplyDelete
  59. Juventus and Fiorentina are locked in a battle to sign Bolton striker Johan Elmander, who is out of contract in the summer.
    Full story: talkSPORT

    hip hip, hooray
    hip hip, hooray
    hip hip, hooray

    ReplyDelete
  60. so youre all saying arsene wenger is flawed, emotional, smells of garlic because he's french?

    is wenger a lorry driver in his spare time? can we hate but secretly admire him for that, too?

    at best like vercingetorix he's a heroic failure out of a cartoon?

    will the frenchies never be forgiven for hastings, castillon, yorktown, solferino, versailles, the Common Agricultural Policy?

    (ps i went out with a french girl too, briefly, and she made up for everything bad the french have ever done chantal piboule where are you now you dirty cow?)

    ReplyDelete
  61. william hague just announced that elmander is "on his way to venezuala"

    ReplyDelete
  62. The O's beat Hartlepool away last night to move within 5 points of MK Dons (6th Spot) with 3 games in hand. GO ORIENT

    ReplyDelete
  63. Morning all.

    After watching Nani start yesterday against Marseilles, I am convinced he should have got red card for play acting against Liverpool.

    Agreed, there could have been a deep cut on his shin due to Carra's tackle but his reaction was purely theatrical.

    ReplyDelete
  64. I'd like to see how many people on this blog would've reacted if Carragher would've tackled them like he did.

    ReplyDelete
  65. What sort of a mincing little prick is Nani. Carries on like his leg is broken in three places then comes out and plays the following week... the guy should be banned for three games for play acting.

    ReplyDelete
  66. I don't think Wenger is a failure, just tactically naive. He shouldn't get the sack or offer his resignation cuz that would be ludicrous. Just adapt the way you play and accept you play in the EPL not La liga, which in my opinion is an inferior league.

    I totally disagree with anyone who says barca and arsenal play "proper" football. They play a certain style which heavily depends on their midfield and attack being at the horses. Also if Messi got injured Barca would be a different team I think.

    I like all types or styles of football, my favourite being the more direct, counter-attacking football because I find it more exciting. I'm not saying its the best, its just my preference. My least favourite would probably be Scotland's 4-6 style though haha!!

    ReplyDelete
  67. Nice try Bo. Not even you could be that stupid to think Nani was play acting.

    ReplyDelete
  68. mornin' all.

    Chantal Piboule? say it ain't so Joe, that's the last xmas card she gets from me.

    ReplyDelete
  69. No offence meant against Wenger as said earlier as well. I want him to continue with Arsenal Academy training youngsters. I am getting bored and irritated with same post match excuses these days. Not just this season, but for last 3 seasons I have been hearing that team is maturing and will win something soon... but at this same stage we are faltering. And his excuses are always - 1) special circumstances, 2) injury and fatigue, 3) too many imp games in short span of time etc.

    Firstly, he does'nt buy in Jan window. Even for that there are excuses - 1) Players who got injured in Aug/Sep are returning back to squad and look like fit to play for the rest of season. 2) market is inflated and players are over priced. He doesnt even consider slight possibility that other players can also get injured. Market inflated - so what?? Prices will always rise but atleast shout a few names so that other clubs take notice of you and watch your moves. Other teams have taken it for granted that Arsenal wont go for big names, but will sign 12-15 year old kids.

    Off the pitch - Wenger/Arsenal need to give pyshcological impact to other clubs.

    On the pitch - Wenger/Arsenal need to give physical impact to other clubs.

    ReplyDelete
  70. perhaps Wenger's been distracted by Chantal too?

    ReplyDelete
  71. http://www.epltalk.com/nanis-horrific-injury-from-jamie-carraghers-tackle-photos-29893#

    SS I can forgive him for being slightly theatrical.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Wenger should hand in his resignation and sacrifice his life to make atonement for failing to meet the expectations of any Arsenal fans, lets be honest he was only ever standing on the shoulders of the giant George Graham. Arsenal used to be a fun group of lads it was coke, booze, gambling and hookers, but Wenger broke with tradition and got these little foreign boys in, it was like replacing the cast of Animal House with the cast of High School Musical 2 (the squeakuel). It don't make sense... Plus, his nickname is the professor, thats just silly aint it?

    Anyway, that nani weren't acting, he is a proper bell end in real life too. huh huh.

    So then...

    ReplyDelete
  73. BojanglesOfOz said...
    What sort of a mincing little prick is Nani. Carries on like his leg is broken in three places

    for shame...seriously even as a childish wind up your a disgrace.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Yeah Bo....

    its always difficult though when a turd like carra tackles another turd like nani... One is a fowling halfwit, the other a namby portuguese girlman, its a little like Haye vs Harrison, you dont want anyone to win... but you take solace in the fact someones getting hurt.

    Any way, NateDogg just died so i think we all have more important things to worry about...

    ReplyDelete
  75. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  76. I don't believe Ninny was play acting, that was a nasty gash and a horror tackle.

    I just think the doctors diagnosed him wrong, expecting him to contract rabbies from the Mad Dog Carragher contact, which may well have put him out for the season.

    Magic sponge and tetnus shot saved the day.

    ReplyDelete
  77. Mad Dog Carra to take over from Nate Dogg then?

    ReplyDelete
  78. Mad Dog Carra and DJ Snoop Stevie G.

    ReplyDelete
  79. The England captaincy saga was plunged into farce and confusion last night as Fabio Capello told Manchester United defender Rio Ferdinand he still has the armband after all and that Chelsea's John Terry is only a stand-in.
    Full story: Daily Mirror

    ---
    Like it hasn't been a farce for years?

    ReplyDelete
  80. Nani is simply paying the price for being a git all his life. He's the git that cried wolf (or mad dog in this case). Long established git gets kicked in the shins..falls over..runs to referee, cries a bit..then falls down again like a bullet him him. what else are people going to think.

    Bo for President!

    ReplyDelete
  81. DJ Snoop Stevie G, Mad Dog Carra and B-Rob(ing)

    Gangscouse rap.

    ReplyDelete
  82. grandad capello's been muttering to himself in public again. embarrassing.

    sad to hear NateDoggs dead, even tho i never heard of him. the other robbo has cancer and here's me still moping over the break-up of the Gutter Band. puts it into perspective dunnit? too much f-ing perspective

    dont be a stranger, rba, theres a dwindling band of us, just me in fact, who dont actually ever talk about football or sport in any shape or form which can be a bit uncomfortable on a football sportblog

    ReplyDelete
  83. trott - ah chantal. the memories. she taught me everything im not supposed to know. she was the sexiest post-op freemason i ever met.

    ReplyDelete
  84. That's not true Bloggy, you mention Vale every once in a while...

    Oh wait.................. Yep, sorry, my bad.

    ReplyDelete
  85. i was on tv once. i used to have a small roll in bread. Nani was in it to, he had his own spin-off, Nani Bread, but it was half-baked

    ReplyDelete
  86. Sorry Blogs mate, like you with Chantal, I just couldn't resist it.

    ReplyDelete
  87. incidentally if anyones interested - if we can pause from talking about arsenal for 5 nanoseconds - there was a 2 week inquiry into the vale Busgate saga when horsfield and gannon came to blows and gannon jumped out of the rear window of the coach ON THE MOTORWAY and made a lorry filled with chickens crash into a lorry load of tar which then crashed into the vale coach tarring and feathering the whole squad who had to play the 90 minutes looking like the victims of a deep South lynchmob not good brought the club into repute. not disrepute as it had no repute to be dissed but now it has so the only way is up

    anyway the inquiry found that there was nothing wrong and as you were this steely defiance of morality and discipline may confuse accrington stanley as gannon and horsfield will be back in the dug out together for the first time.

    there may even be a small boy on hand with an old polaroid to record the event

    ReplyDelete
  88. or 5 nani-seconds for that matter.

    ReplyDelete
  89. I'd love to take a pause from discussing Arsenal and continue with the tomfoolery and thinly Valed (teehee) insults but I've gotta bar to open.

    Laterz youse lot.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Well i wont be a stranger, but i reserve the right to be strange... love the bread gags blogs, you all ways rise to teh occasion, you could earn a crust out of your comedy, plenty of dough i reckon... Steven Gerrard thought he saw his name on a loaf of bread once, but turns out it said "thick cut".

    RBAker.

    Woe... (who remebers them ay!?)

    ReplyDelete
  91. Hahahahahaha .... SAF's just been given a 5 match ban.

    ReplyDelete
  92. Hahahaha. Let us all laugh together at SAF.

    ReplyDelete
  93. so what fergie's been banned for 5 matches?

    dont think he'd feel the pinch of 30 grand and would it change one bit?

    ReplyDelete
  94. So does that mean that SAF will not be speaking to anyone again as he will be smarting from the slap on the wrist from the FA?

    ReplyDelete
  95. Kermit.. I think he is already not speaking to anyone. He is now going to stop looking at people from the media as well.

    ReplyDelete
  96. AH, we can only hope this is the case

    ReplyDelete
  97. RIP Nate. At least he got to die of natural causes. Most rappers of his generation died of gunshot wounds.

    ReplyDelete
  98. I wish someone would pop a cap into that twat Kanye.

    ReplyDelete
  99. http://en.mercopress.com/2011/03/16/mexico-defeats-falklands-in-americas-division-3-t20-cricket-championship

    And you guys moan about the English team not
    playing well.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Morning all.

    I read the stats that Chelsea had 35 shots on goal. Yet 0-0 must still be a boring game to sit through. Good win for Real Madrid also, finally broke the Lyon jinx and went through to QF stage. Man U should get either of Spanish teams – hope it’s a cracking draw.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Make or break day for England today against the West Indies. Hoping for a good match between the two nations - England have'nt disappointed yet and have provided 5 out of 5 thrilling finishes.

    Go England for the 6th one!

    ReplyDelete
  102. SS11. Just hope that England can get past the West Indies, but seeing the way Pollard is hitting the ball I am expecting a big score today

    ReplyDelete
  103. England to bat 1st, lets hope they post a decent score & give the bowlers something to defend

    ReplyDelete
  104. SS11 - I hope for a cracking draw too, but unfortunately my Sod's Law-meter is pointing strongly at Man Utd v Spurs, and Utd to get through 1-0 over two legs after playing 10 defenders in each game and getting a goal when Spurs score and the ref chalks it up for the wrong team.

    My FCL team has stormed into 2nd after stong performances from Pakistan and Australia. I've split my chances tonight with Strauss and Trott up against my captain Keiron Pollard. Just wish my fantasy footie team performed as well.

    ReplyDelete
  105. You couldn't make it up

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/f/fulham/9427113.stm

    ReplyDelete
  106. The problem with the statue is that they'll have to go for a late 90's or 00's era Jacko. If they go for an 80's era one, then all the Utd fans will think that it's just a statue of Nani.

    ReplyDelete
  107. They should theme the whole club. The centre backs could moon walk in defence, goal keepers with one glittery glove and after scoring a goal you grab your crotch, thrust it out and go "oooh..oooooooh"...and...and ....there could be a creche that....

    ReplyDelete
  108. Apparently, Rio's been ruled out for the season so be prepared to see him line up the 1st game after the international.


    Noon all.

    ReplyDelete
  109. lets hope the craze for statues of drug crazed paedophiles at football stadia doesnt catch on, as naziism was a fashion craze to begin with - Hugo Boss started his career designing uniforms for the SS (thats actually true)

    ReplyDelete
  110. trott good luck vs the twin demons of man u and stoke

    Go Trotters!

    ReplyDelete
  111. West Indies need 244 to win. Not too easy, neither should it be difficult.
    England will have to bowl to attacking fields all the time. England's chances hanging by the thread.

    ReplyDelete
  112. it's the drinks break! he's necked that energy drink in one! oh MY GOD he's eaten three segments of an orange in ONLY 30 seconds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cricket eh?

    ReplyDelete
  113. the 'segment' of an orange, why is it not called a slice?

    or a crescent?

    ReplyDelete
  114. its only 4 wicket taking balls that england need, dont they?

    its gonna end in our favour

    ReplyDelete
  115. So, a statue of Michael at Fulham.

    Funny, can't remember seeing too many Thrilers at Craven Cottage, although they do play in Black and White and are pretty Bad.

    ReplyDelete
  116. And a Happy St Paddy's day to one and all.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Wayne Rooney has pledged his best years to Manchester United, and told their fans: "I'll be here until my 30s." The 25-year-old striker is incensed by talk that he could quit Old Trafford this summer despite signing his blockbusting five-year £250,000-a-week contract just four months ago.
    Full story: Daily Mirror

    ----
    Yeah, how dare people question his loyalty??

    His pledge is good though, he probably has already given "his best years" to the club.

    ReplyDelete
  118. Sir Alex Ferguson is said to be "spitting mad" at his five-match touchline ban for comments about referee Martin Atkinson.
    Full story: The Sun

    ---
    At his age you'd think it would be more dribling then spitting.

    ReplyDelete
  119. Not much of a punishment to a Manager who doesn't really manage from the sidelines. I presume he is managing his 'outrage' so the FA can feel big. He can coach and manage from the stand and do it face to face before the match.

    The respect campaign is a joke. I chuckled the other night when I saw a player telling the ref to F*CK off to his face, I then noticed the respect badge on the player's sleeve.

    ReplyDelete
  120. mornin' all

    blogdignag said...
    trott good luck vs the twin demons of man u and stoke

    Go Trotters!
    --------------------
    I like ManU and Stoke, the only issue I have with Stoke is Delap's monopolising the supply of egyptian cotton towels. Can't even get them from Harrods these days tut tut.

    ReplyDelete
  121. What a twat Balotelli is, damaged goods
    Stiil Citeh get one back 2-1 down

    ReplyDelete
  122. Balotelli .... what a fucking clown.

    ReplyDelete
  123. Pulled this from the Live Text:

    Fifteen starts for Mario Balotelli in a Manchester City shirt, which have brought eight yellow cards and two reds. There's something just not quite right about that boy. I worry about him.

    One word: Liability.

    ReplyDelete
  124. blimey, worra cunt, City will focus on the FA Cup now, worst possible result for us (and the other contenders).

    ReplyDelete
  125. If City play like they did tonight they'll win fuck all. They were wild, undisciplined and generally shit.

    ReplyDelete
  126. I'm also surprised they managed to keep10 on the pitch ... I was tempted to take a punt on Tevez getting a second yellow.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Didn't realise Anfield was hosting the latest round of the High Dive championships tonight.

    ReplyDelete
  128. load o' bollocks, none of these games are on over here. I'll be off shopping.

    Good luck AH

    ReplyDelete
  129. You're not missing anything much Trott.

    Rangers are playing the same brand of anti-football that the Scottish national team would be proud of, while Liverpool seem to have all the attacking power of an ant trying to gnaw it's way out of a paper bag right now.

    ReplyDelete
  130. BREAKING NEWS

    ellen mcarthy's round the world record has just been broken by a jap on a garage door

    ReplyDelete
  131. I notice that Saha has at least managed to hit something recently
    http://www.wreckedexotics.com/newphotos/exotics2011mar14/458_20110302_1.shtml#

    ReplyDelete
  132. china have abstained from supporting resolution 1973/2011, mistakenly thiking the "no fry zone" would endanger the national cuisine

    ReplyDelete
  133. worlds luyckiest man Mr Yamaguchi survived both blasts that destroyed hiroshima, and nagasaki 1945....surviigng the first blast he got on the train home to nagasaki

    cant help wondering if hes in fukuyama

    ReplyDelete
  134. Mel Gibson booked on battery charge
    ..........
    triple AAAs? bit harsh

    ReplyDelete
  135. man c and liverpool - got what you deserved.

    cricket - another absurdly random result. all these games are rigged, prbably by the libyan dictator who scored zero in his only game of cricket - a gadaffy duck - and has been a massive screw up ever since

    and that completes my review of the papers

    ReplyDelete
  136. Thanks Blog, you've saved me hours there. Do you have a crossword too?

    ReplyDelete
  137. And where's the page 3 girl?

    ReplyDelete
  138. Them boys over on the old Robbo blog have got their comments up over 2000. We must smell bad. I know I do. It's the garlic you see.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Hey Trotts - Lawro says that Bolton are in 90mill of debt and will have to sell the squad at the end of the season in order to survive. I've used a bit of McNulty's journalistic licence there to make it sound more exciting, but your thoughts?

    ReplyDelete
  140. Morning everyone!

    England somehow survived the scare yesterday and will now hope other results go in their favor. Hope we get to see ENG v AUS in quarter finals of this world cup.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Becasue England did so well against Australia in their 1 day series after the Ashes?

    Just chatting to my barber (the font of all knowledge) and he reckons Ricky Ponting has completely lost the plot and should never wear the Austalian shirt again. Have to say I agree with him on the losing the plot issue.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Yes England deserve their chance for redemption after doing so well against Australia in their 1 day series after Ashes.

    ReplyDelete
  143. the old blog business - bizarre ...greyfriars bobby innit? ... some good bloggers over there .... each to his own I guess

    ReplyDelete
  144. Wenger banned by UEFA for "innapropriate language".
    When you've just lost to Barca having RVP sent off by a Nazi saluting referee my question is:

    Exactly what language WOULD be appropriate?

    Liverpool's loss to Braga and Shaktar's progress does put Arsenal's failure in the group stages a bit into perspective. Not much - they were crap in Braga - but a bit.

    Check out Mario Bib-otelli. Priceless:
    http://www.twitvid.com/AHCJ1

    ReplyDelete
  145. Change is necessary and needed. says Bin Hammamm (hope he is not distant cousin of Bin Laden)
    --------------
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/9423991.stm

    ReplyDelete
  146. Naaniii replies back to Carraghrrrrrr
    --------------
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/teams/m/man_utd/9427433.stm

    ReplyDelete
  147. About an hour to go for the CL draw - here's my 2 wishes
    1) Man U to draw against Spanish side
    2) No 2 PL teams drawn against each other

    ReplyDelete
  148. I'll be out and away before the draw but I want Spurs to take on Shaktar and get revenge for being dumped out of the Uefa Cup 2 years ago by them :)

    ReplyDelete
  149. Spurs are going to get Utd - I've got a bad feeling. Either that or the reheated curry I had for lunch is taking effect.

    ReplyDelete
  150. mornin' all,

    Noel said...
    Hey Trotts - Lawro says that Bolton are in 90mill of debt and will have to sell the squad at the end of the season in order to survive. I've used a bit of McNulty's journalistic licence there to make it sound more exciting, but your thoughts?

    --------------
    The bit about the debt is true Noel, dunno if selling the squad will solve it but also not sure if Eddie davies is asking for his money back.
    Makes me wonder if they should have raffled off a cake instead of buying Wheater but if lawro says it, well it must be bang on factual.

    I do expect Cahill to be sold for a chunk of change.

    ReplyDelete
  151. Kind of player that Arsenal should be looking to buy.

    ReplyDelete
  152. yep, but he might prefer to stay where he is if he wants to win trophies!!

    ReplyDelete
  153. Hehe. Very true.

    Here comes the draw then.

    ReplyDelete
  154. 1111: Man Utd manager Sir Alex Ferguson: "It is not good tactics to go into how good Barcelona are and show a trepidation or apprehension about it. I don't think that is our way. You have to face every hurdle as it comes along. Anyone who has got themselves into this position must have qualities; either certain players, or a good home record. [But] Barcelona are the team you don't want to play. They made a side like Arsenal, who in our league pass teams to death, almost look out of their depth."
    -----------
    Not sure is he praising Arsenal or taunting at them!

    ReplyDelete
  155. So we have to beat Real then Barca to play Chelsea in the final. No worries.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Noel,
    I think it will be Barca v Chelsea in the finals.
    But I wish your lot good luck against Real.

    ReplyDelete
  157. I can't wait already. Bale v Ramos, VDV v Alonso, Sandro v Ozil, Lennon v Marcelo, Dawson v Benzema, Ronaldo v Gallas, and the big one - di Maria v Asso-Ekotto.

    ReplyDelete
  158. And I am also convinced UEFA strongly favor Barcelona. Michel 'fuckin' Platini is a biased Barca fan... he ensures Barca have the safest path to finals.

    ReplyDelete
  159. Yeah I think Barca v Chelsea too. No love lost there is there? I hope Chelsea are too strong for Utd. They should be.

    ReplyDelete
  160. Champions League?

    overrated, innit?

    ReplyDelete
  161. Champions League blog up fellas

    Hopefully a bit controversial so please read, comment and vote

    http://adampsb.blogspot.com/2011/03/competition.html

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  162. Good draw for United. Chelsea are a strong but I think when they're under pressure and frustrated (and don't have an unfair referee) they crumble. Still fancy Barca to win in the final though.

    ReplyDelete
  163. Well Spuds, at least you missed Barca.

    Of course the Chavs and IOU were paired together, it's UEFA's mandate to get rid of the English clubs as quickly as possible, can't be having 3 English teams in the semi's (again) can we.

    ReplyDelete
  164. No. I'd love it if Barca get knocked out by Shakhtar though.

    ReplyDelete
  165. I can only presume the conspiracy theories on here are in jest (not sure though.

    Personally, I think the Real Madrid vs Spurs is a good thing. It puts Spurs on the World map, far better than a lower key match and lose. Not That I think Spurs can't go on, but why not go out in a blaze of glory against one of the most famous clubs in the World?

    ReplyDelete
  166. The conspiricy theory has nothing to do with the Spuds draw, you're always gonna be up against a good team in yhe last 8, it's just that once again two english sides are drawn together.

    I know that the odds are greater because there arec always more english teams in the draw, but how many times have Barca and Real been drawn to face each other?

    ReplyDelete
  167. Shackhtar are no mugs Adam, they absolutly walloped Roma, we might just be in for a surprise.

    ReplyDelete
  168. Holloway2Holland said...
    The conspiricy theory has nothing to do with the Spuds draw, you're always gonna be up against a good team in yhe last 8, it's just that once again two english sides are drawn together.

    I know that the odds are greater because there arec always more english teams in the draw, but how many times have Barca and Real been drawn to face each other?

    -------------

    or the italians and french against teams from their own countries for that matter?

    ReplyDelete
  169. Exactamundo, Spitmeister.

    Conspiricy theories, no matter how far fetched, are still born from truth. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  170. Former Football Association compliance officer Graham Bean was part of Sir Alex Ferguson's defence in the hearing which resulted in the Manchester United manager being given a five-match touchline ban for comments about referee Martin Atkinson. Bean has labelled the FA a "communist state" and says he has seen confidential reports by assessors criticising Atkinson.
    Full story: Daily Express

    ----
    Mr Bean as your lawyer?

    He's lucky he wasn't banned for life.

    ReplyDelete
  171. So what exactly is a 'Football Association Compliance Office' supposed to do, when at work?

    ReplyDelete
  172. afternoon all


    flying visit - have to say my heart sunk when watched the draw and saw us v ManPoo, but Mr BHB and one of our Tarquins seem very happy with it.

    Hopefully, or despite, us forgoing an 'unfair ref' (tut tut Rod) and if Fergie can do without with 3 hrs of injury time, we'll still go through to then beat Inter before thrashing Barca 8-5 in the final with Messi being sent off for just generally being too good (both at football and falling over)

    Have good weekend everyone and chat next week

    ReplyDelete
  173. * sorry that obviously should be without 3 hrs of injury time

    ReplyDelete
  174. Sounds like a job for an arsekisser to me.

    "Yes mighty FA, I comply" *pucker up*

    ReplyDelete
  175. BLUEHELLSBELLS said...

    Hopefully, or despite, us forgoing an 'unfair ref' (tut tut Rod)

    ------------------------------------------------

    I'm sorry if I caused any offence BHB. Have I over-stepped the mark? Should I be banned for the next 5 blogs?

    ReplyDelete
  176. iverpool's answer to their left-back problem could be Osasuna defender Nacho Monreal, who has been watched by Reds director of football strategy Damien Comolli.
    Full story: Daily Mail
    ---
    Who will partner him in defence? Guacaomle Dip?

    ReplyDelete
  177. good luck to all our teams, especially mine but excluding H2H's team in the H2H.

    Go Trotters! (but save yourselves for the Cup).

    ReplyDelete
  178. Harry Jalapeno can squirt through any defence.

    ReplyDelete
  179. H the ans to that left back problem is in Dickens classic Little Dorito

    ReplyDelete
  180. little Dorito and a sense of humous

    ReplyDelete
  181. doritos and chicaritos should split the attacking duties.

    ReplyDelete
  182. I think H must be off somewhere with the sangria

    ReplyDelete

Powered By Blogger