Tuesday 1 February 2011

Andy n Nandy Are Coming to Play!

It’s transfer deadline day. The window closes at midnight and the football world is agog for the last-minute defenestrators.

Down the Blue Bell speculation is rife: we’ve had several dead certs that have appeared in the Teesside area in the last 24 hours.

Yesterday morning, David Beckham was definitely walking a dog down Linthorpe Road at half-eight (he’d had a severe haircut and grown a droopy tache but it was 'definitely him');

at lunchtime, a cabbie dropped off Jamie Carragher at a branch of Bairstow Eves Estate Agents and he was definitely eyeing up the bigger properties;

and in the late afternoon Richard Keys was apparently thrown out of a mixed doubles tennis match for shouting 'Smash it!' every time his opponents threw up a defensive lob.

"Call that a smash? Do me a favour, love"

As it turns out, none of it was flamin’ true. Instead, Middlesbrough plunged into the black and white film archives and come up with some bloke from Casablanca. I was hoping it was Paul Henreid, but it turns out it’s some Charlie called Marouane Zemmama.

Which begs the question is 'Who’s Zemmama?' Huh? Well here’s what it says on Wikipedia:

« Marouane Zemmama est un footballeur marocain né le 7 octobre 1983 à Salé et évoluant actuellement au sein du club d' Hibernian FC. » Well sacre bloody bleu.

Nevertheless a stack of bollocks rumours from a bunch of long lunchtime lager specialists makes more sense than what actually happened yesterday.

Liverpool and Chelsea are the culprits.

You remember Liverpool? Unbuilt stadium, temporary Messiah in charge, rest home for the expensive liabilility. So obviously it’ll be a home from home for the big rumbling Geordie with a piss-poor ponytail.

But 35 million quid? I mean I even heard a couple of hedge-fund managers saying that was ridiculous and they treat money like bog-roll. The best you can say about Andy Carroll is that he’s promising. He was also one of them local boys made good, Newcastle through and through, a lad who couldn’t get out of bed of a morning without blowing Blaydon Races across the top of an empty Bottle o’ Dog.

Turns out he’s a Geordie Rooney. A magpie, yes, but a dirty thieving one. Unless you believe that the lad had no choice in the matter. Blaming Ashley will suit the Gallowgate, so I fully expect that to be the case. But it’s way too much, man. There’s not been a more stupid purchase of Tyneside talent since my Missus bought Jimmy Nail’s cack album Crocodile Shoes.

Carroll’s now officially worth more than Balotelli, Tevez, Ferdinand, Rooney. I mean crikey the lad’s good. But is he worth getting on for 100 Kenny Millers? Carroll’s fitness record is a tad ropy n all. Then again, if Chelsea are going to splash the cash for hamstrung pretty-boy Nando Torres for £50 million. It’s a kind of horse-trade in Sicknotes.

While the dartboards of Gateshead might not all be wearing a newspaper cutting of Andy Carroll’s face, chances are that an effigy of young Torres might be adorning the top of this year’s Croxteth bonfire.
"Burn 'im, he's a Cockney!"

Torres, much like the shambling bucket of greed that is Darren Bent, has spent most of the season playing like a lazy shiftless pillock. Or, if you will, Nicolas Anelka (at his worst). Of course it appears that there are reasons for this and those reasons are that he should’ve left in the summer.

Torres’s strike rate for ‘Pool is undeniable. He’s a cracking player, true enough. But even one as gifted as that lad finds it hard to really compete when his finger is permanently wedged up his arse.

At least Koppites can content themselves with the knowledge that in Carroll and Suarez they’ve got a couple of lads who will really put a shift in. Plus with Suarez, Dalglish has got himself some decent back-up to Beppe Reina between the sticks.

Of course the staggering thing about the amounts of money changing hands yesterday is that it takes place in straitened times.

I was under the illusion that football might just get affected by the enforced penury that the Eton Debating Society are about to slide us in to.

If there’s one thing that really makes you choke on your meat pie n peas it’s having some family-moneyed chinless pillock telling you how we’ve got to hold our frigging noses and swallow some bitter pills.

(It’s like having Eamonn Holmes telling you to eat more salad. Or the Taleban advising you on the best schools for girls.) I mean what the fuck would they know? The only belt-tightening they’ve ever experienced is probably just some part of a fag's initiation ritual.

"I say George, are you tightening my belt?"

We were told that Chelsea’s days of big spending were over; that Liverpool’s debts were so astronomical that they were a FSA judgement away from bankruptcy. Now they’re spending money like they’re Real Madrid after a wink from the Spanish Government.

I dunno about the rest of you decent souls out there but me, I just hope these deals go tits up. I don’t wish the individuals ill – in fact to be honest I think Carroll is potentially the number nine England have been lacking – but a club that gets into grief and just unfurls a wad of blinking tsunami of wonga to redress the imbalance makes me despair.

And what’s more this transfer window business seems to have created a world where financial power is simply heightened. All day yesterday all I can think of was ‘Arry Redknapp with six phone son the go desperate to snap up anyone.

Apparently he nearly got Charlie Adam. Yeah, cos you’re well short of midfielders aren’t you mate?

I tell you next year just put everyone who’s available in a big fuck-off pen in the O2 arena and all the chairmen and managers can play Cash in the Bastard Attic with them.

Fair Play Rules? To quote one of the most twatty of current phrases 'Bring It On!'

290 comments:

  1. First!! :D Nice Post Robbo.

    Lmao @ Carroll’s now officially worth more than Balotelli, Tevez, Ferdinand, Rooney. I mean crikey the lad’s good. But is he worth getting on for 100 Kenny Millers?

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  2. Talk about a panic buy. No way is he worth more than David Villa, Rafeal Van Der Vaat or even Darren Bent!

    It's the equivalent of being at the end in the lunch queue with only a few minutes left so spending £100 on a pot noodle!

    Hope it works out for the lad as he has potential, though I bet Suarez will be wondering why he isn't apparently worth as much!

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  3. Marouane Zemmama? sounds like someone who sailed off leaving his mum on a desert island

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  4. Romans like his pervert namesake emperors, he's paid 28 mill for nando the footballer and 22mill for his arse

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  5. Good blog Robbo!
    Although the purchases have been expensive, they have been good. Chelsea will feel Drogba was due a big move himself next summer as Real Madrid showed some interest in him. The purchases which Liverpool have done are mainly to signal they are ready to undergo sea of changes in the team. I think after 2 seasons, they would be ready to launch title challenge again.

    With this transfer of Torres, Robbo your prediction of Chelsea for title this season still holds good. So you should be happy!

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  6. Good stuff Robbo. Andy Carroll will be off the treatment table about the time nando goes back on it. But Kenny was on about the players he wants are the ones that want to be there, but Andy doesn't! Andy wants to be in Newcastle. The story confused the shit out of me. We don't want to sell you and you don't want to leave so just jump in Mike's chopper and sign this??? Perhaps he'll go back in Summer for half price.

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  7. Good blog, Robbo, but as a Liverpool fan I'd like to offer a bit of a defence for our spending yesterday.

    Carroll is HUGELY expensive at £35m, yes, but surely a player's worth is always going to have to be a compromise between how much he's worth to the selling club versus how much he's worth to the buyer? We needed to fill a gap in our squad at short notice, and he was the best option available with the money we were prepared to pay. Llorente or Aguero would have cost a hell of a lot more than £35m. And I can't imagine many Newcastle fans would have wanted Carroll to leave, so valuable was he to their club.

    As for comparing him to other transfers, it's not really fair to compare across years, especially since transfer prices have gone utterly bonkers lately. Shevchenko, Rooney, Essien, Drogba, Ferdinand, Carvalho, Veron, Shearer, and even Shaun Wright-Phillips all went for transfer fees that would equate to more than £35m in today's money.

    I'm not saying Carroll isn't still expensive. My personal view is that he's probably worth about half of what we paid for him, but I think some perspective is needed. Quite simply, if it's what was necessary to buy the right player at the right time, then I think it's a decent move. And as you rightly point out, we now have 2 international strikers who will put a good shift in, as opposed to 1 international striker who, despite his obvious talents, doesn't want to be there and moans his way through a lot of his games, and has shown himself to be a bit of a selfish sod to say the least. He'll fit in perfectly at Chelsea. Enjoy the plastic flags, Nando!

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  8. Ah well fuck it, we didn't go breaking the bank for anyone in the end.

    I just hope the Wasteful Russian, Ole Beanpole and the poison Dwarf get their acts together and score a few bloody goals now.

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  9. The lunitics have taken over the assylum and are now holding elections.

    I've seen Caroll has been called an International striker, hmmmm 1 cap isn't it? I agree that the lads got potential and I quiet rate him., BUT 35mill+, come on, thats just ridiculous. Not to mention the pressure that that price tag will put on the young lad that this time last year was playing in the Championship.

    They're mad I tells ya, mad!!

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  10. But Carrol's only worth 1.25 Darren Bents...

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  11. How rude of me... Good blog Robbo sir!

    "There’s not been a more stupid purchase of Tyneside talent since my Missus bought Jimmy Nail’s cack album Crocodile Shoes."

    Ha ha ha.

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  12. blogdignag said...
    ha ha liverpool now have lou and andy up front

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/littlebritain/characters/louandy.shtml

    ------
    Tee hee, I was thinking of this Loo and Andy;

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/1871031.stm

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  13. Arsenal's Jack Wilshere has tweeted his views on new Liverpool striker Andy Carroll's future, saying: "Andy Carrol will be a great player for Liverpool and England #fact."
    Full story: Metro

    -----

    Did Rafa steal his phone?

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  14. Come now Robbo..who else was available for less than 35 mil who could replace Nando (on the field and on the doctors table)? We had 2 days notice and only 1 player available. Surely we couldn't let Nando go without a replacement? And while 35 mil was way too much, as some one pointed out its just 1.8 Darrent Bents (or 0.8 Ibrahimovic's) so we could have done much worse.

    Its pretty easy to point out the obvious that 35 mil was too much for carroll, but surely an alternate workable option in 2 days would be worth hearing as well. In my opinion, the 35 mil was for a replacement striker and to instil some confidence in the team that we have the money to compete at the highest levels and to create hope in the fans once more. It might just be worth all of that.

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  15. Liverpool effectively bought 2 strikers for £8m (50-35-23), not a bad result really

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  16. I don't believe Torres is worth 50mill for a second either, maybe the blond free scoring one from a few years back, but not the rusty misfiring one that I've witnessed over the last year, no way.

    Torres was brought to Anfield for 20mill a few years ago, if he had been sold for 30mill and replaced by Caroll for, let's say, 15mill (still too much) then there wouldn't be such a hoop-la about it all. Yet with the 50mill and 35mill price tags L'pool still made a handsome profit off a player who's been nowhere near his best.

    The biggest winner in all this seams to be Mike Ashley, although in true Geordie fashion he'll probably get a backlash from the fans, but with 50mill in his sky rocket I don't really think he'll give a flying frig about them.

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  17. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/t/tottenham_hotspur/9383475.stm

    ----------------------------

    Guess that's him finished for the season.

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  18. That's the one I was thinking of too Blog, in fact.....

    The new Andy Pandy is still wearing his trademark blue and white striped pyjamas but out has gone the clogs and his puppet strings have disappeared.

    He is also joined by a new cast of chums including Hissy Missy, a snake-shaped draught excluder, Tiffo, a stuffed dog, Orbie a bouncing ball and Bilbo who sails a yacht on wheels.
    ----------------------
    The blue and white stripes could be prison garb but who might be playing Teddy, Hissy Missy, Tiffo, Orbie and Bilbo? is the real question!

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  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  20. Hissy Missy without a doubt, has to be Ronaldo.

    L'pool should be able to snap him up for the bargain price of 300mill in the next transfer window.

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  21. Chavs v Mackems is shaping up to be something ... it's 2-2 already.

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  22. As for Arsenal v Everton ... Geeze ... fucking guys as refs? 'Kin useless, why employ someone who doesn't know the offside rule?

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  23. My 85 yr old neighbour saw that was offside...and he's blind. fuck..that was one awful decision. Dammit i really need the gunners to win the title off IOU and the Chavs and this happens...well 45 mins more to go so you never k now.

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  24. we may be back in business , tone

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  25. 'The only belt-tightening they’ve ever experienced is probably just some part of a fag's initiation ritual.'

    Hehe. Nice blog Robbo.

    A contributing factor to Carroll's 35m (or 7 Harry Kewell's) transfer fee, was the fact that Newcastle knew that Liverpool had just pocketed 50m for Nando. If it had been 'for an undisclosed fee', then he may well have gone for less. Similarly, Pardew has said how they couldn't get a replacement for Carroll at short notice because the prices demanded were too high - because everyone knew that they had 35m to spend.

    Jamie Carragher should be fit to face Nando on Sunday. Interesting to see how he treats him after Torres told him to shut up earlier in the season. I'm predicting a few cards in that match.

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  26. looks like the troll (real-life not web) rooney is back near to his best. 29 games unbeaten now for man u. he's some manager that guy because defence aside it still looks a bit short of ...summat. but SAFs relentless unquenchable thirst for success drives them on anyway
    pleased for my gooner psuedo-pals - the win keeps the red menace in view

    BUT i must have missed the moment when fabregas became an arsehole - last few games he's started to come across as a bit of a twat in the meeja - what happened?

    did someone kidnap his pet parrot? (he looks a bit like an extra from pirates of the carribean dunt he? Mackenzie Crook's idiot sidekick on the spanish main)

    BBBOOOOIIIINNNGGGG!!!!!

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  27. Aaaawwwww. Andy Carroll is wearing his nice new red shirt on the FFL. I can't help but think that Liverpool might have signed another Craig Bellamy. Undoubtedly talented, but prone to attacking teammates with a golf club in a kareoke bar.

    Blog - I completely agree about Fabregas. He's become a bit of a twat this season - scoring and assisting less and waving cards at refs instead. Frustrated at still wearing an Arsenal shirt perhaps?

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  28. Andy Carroll... confused? or just an idiot?

    "I'm gutted that I wasn't wanted at my home team after everything I have done and the progress I have made. I didn't want to leave at all. Make sure they know I didn't want to leave."

    "When I knew [Liverpool's interest] was real and that there was a chance for me to come here I knew it was a great opportunity and I had to take it. It's a great feeling."

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  29. G'dau all

    A good blog Robbo.... Price tags on football players is bloody ridiculous. Nobody, however good they may be, is worth the amounts that were thrown around yesterday. It will reach the point where no PL club will be able to buy a player playing in England. The downside of that is managers will be forced to send more scouts to Europe looking for cheaper players resulting in more European players playing in the PL and other English leagues.

    A deserved win last night I don't care what that lesser Scotsman says.

    I was going to have a rant about the offside goal and how decisions like that can fuck up a team's season but why bother.

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  30. Blog, totally agree re fabregas and was gona type summat similar to what you did but for once I bothered to read before type and alas now I have nowt smart to say.

    last season's cool, calm , collected magician who played a once in a lifetime season to carry a fairly average team forwards has been replaced by a petulant, irritable mediterranian tit.

    If he continues his current ways, I hope wenger rids of him to the highest bidder.

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  31. Well on the day when I announced I'd be using my wildcard for the next game week and would be looking at seeing who I would be hanging on to my United duo got 24 points between them.

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  32. Bo
    Ive got a bit of a lead on you, but then you have 8 to play against my 5, its gonna be close

    And to all you gunners, yes it does seem like Cesc, whislt still playing well, is showing clear signs of not wantin to be there next season. He will leave with a good price tag on him

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  33. Cesc may well go at the end of the season but I doubt Barca can afford him now. Given the stupidity we've seen over the past couple of days I reckon he could go for the sort of money Ronaldo did.

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  34. Morning all.
    Good win yesterday but it is now becoming a habit for us to come from behind and win. The win was however with a bad news to follow

    "Alex is injured," Wenger said. "He cannot walk. He was kicked. I think it is by Koscielny. He knocks everybody out in our team.”
    ----------------
    Now if fans want Wenger to buy a CB, then they are fools. Wenger thinks he is the only smart one!!

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  35. AH, I have a slim lead of 3pts over you with 7 players remaining. But you too have 5 players left with VdV as captain. We shall battle till last drop of blood!! ;)

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  36. It is indeed close SS..but I see it showing me leading you by 1 point, but math was never a strong suit for me. I think the winner will be whichever team's GK keeps a clean sheet - Hart v Foster. If both or neither, then really really gonna go down to the wire.

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  37. Bale's still out and Modric is out for 2 weeks following an appendectomy.

    Might finally have a chance to see what Sandro can do.

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  38. AH, you've made an extra transfer. Currently it is 28 vs 27. After provisional scores are updated 4pts from you shall be deducted.

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  39. For all my fuckups during the season I've yet to incur a transfer penalty.

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  40. Tone, I have given up trying to beat anyone in the ffl... used up BOTH WILD CARDS, and still cant score over 50 points.... I'll do a Wenger for the rest of the season and turn a blind eye to transfers.

    As for Fabregas, totally agree with you guys, he has become a whinging pain in the arse this season (I wonder if he spent time with fergie while he was injured)... one that makes me cringe at times... I hope Barcelone come in with good money next summer (northern hemisphere) and Arsene has enough sense to take it from them.

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  41. Oooops.

    I completly forgot to jiggle my ffl team this week. Ah well, just have to rely on blind luck again.

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  42. Manchester United defender Gary Neville has announced his retirement from professional football.

    --------------------------------------------
    HALLELUJAH.

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  43. GNeville....sorely missed... until he appears as the replacement for Andy "Ladies man" Gray

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  44. Liverpool: Reina, Kelly, Kyrgiakos, Skrtel, Agger, Johnson, Lucas, Gerrard, Aurelio, Meireles, Kuyt
    ---------------------------------------------
    What the hell is this? 6 defenders and no forwards??? Wonder what formation Kenny is going for.

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  45. Also don't understand Kenny's disregard of joe cole..if he didnt think he was good enough to make the bench even, should've sold him in Jan. Unless he's injured , but that doesnt seem to be the case.

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  46. AH he's inspired by the famous Scottish national teams 4-6-0

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  47. blogs..haaha..nice one.... 3 wins and 3 clean sheets in a row now for king...biggest test of all coming up Sunday...
    from what one can glean from about 20 mins of playing time, suarez looks like a good buy already.

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  48. Well played SS mate...looks like you've pipped me by 3 points and condemned me to my 3rd straight loss...damn the ref that gave the everton goal and cost me the game.

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  49. AH, who the fuck would buy Joe Cole anyway?

    Please introduce them to Owen Coyle coz they'd have to be stupid enough to take Elmander too, worra fuckin wanker (as Cilla says), fkn useless waste of space all over again.

    Suarez looks lively and he plays with a big shit eatin' grin on his face that should appeal to the masses.

    Anyway, what a relief, thanks BHB for the loan of Daniel Sturridge.

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  50. I hope Sturridge gets more goals than Nando in what remains of the season.

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  51. Morning all.
    Thanks AH, your extra transfer cost you the match. I should thank Mancini who gave Yaya Toure a rest allowing Coleman to come from subs bench and give me 4 crucial points.

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  52. Unbelievably McNutty has blogged on GNev and has paid his tribute by saying he is most worthy of respect.
    ----------------
    Hahahahahahaha

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  53. Former Liverpool striker John Aldridge has branded Fernando Torres a "fake and a fraud who has spat in the faces of the Liverpool supporters who idolised him" following the Spaniard's £50m move to Chelsea.
    ---------------------------------------------

    Or maybe just a player who is entering supposedly the best years of his career and wanted to win some trophies. No disrespect to Liverpool, but Chelsea are in a better position to do that.

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  54. Well fuck me ... I don't know what pleases and surprises me more: The fact we won last night, the fact one of our strikers scored or the fact we kept a clean sheet.

    Notched a decent win over Colch in the H2H too :)

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  55. "Luka had a pain in his stomach and needed an appendix operation," Redknapp explained.

    "As for Pienaar... the other South African [Bongani Khumalo] thought his head was the ball and knocked him unconscious in training."

    Redknapp also revealed that Ledley King's operation on his groin injury has been put back for a week after the defender lost his passport.

    Who's writing the script at WHL?

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  56. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/teams/a/arsenal/9386086.stm
    -------------
    Good news and bad news both at same time.

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  57. So it's all up to Chesney now.

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  58. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-12355022

    I'm so going to piss myself laughing when this gets to court and they tell Sky to go do one ...

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  59. SS..the extra transfer was to get Kelly in for ridgewell, so I would have lost anyway as that bought me 5 points. You just had the better team mate!

    Super Sunday...BRING IT ON!!!

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  60. TrotterUSA said...
    Suarez looks lively and he plays with a big shit eatin' grin on his face that should appeal to the masses.
    ---
    He's not grining, he's snarling and griting his choppers, wondering who his next victim will be.

    I watched the game in the bar with a group of interested locals last night, he (Suarez) didn't do too bad. None of us could fathom why he only started from the bench. Playing Dirk Kuyt as your lone "striker" in a home game doesn't seem like a well thought out tactic. Luckily for 'pool Stoke were dire.

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  61. Afternoon all that lurk


    TrotterUSA said...
    Anyway, what a relief, thanks BHB for the loan of Daniel Sturridge


    You are most welcome Trotts, I did actually officially sanction this loan. I suggested a straight swap with El Mandy but after Roman checked how I was doing in the FFL, I am afraid the answer was no. - On subject of FFL, its you v me this weekend, I would imagine by the end of this week, I shall have ousted FBH from bottom place.

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  62. Blah, I'm firmly stuck in mid table as far as the H2H goes. All I know is I'm playing someone in the top 6 next and they have damn near the same team as I do.

    Ah well, get this weekend out the way and then use the wild card before that fucking huge week of games.

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  63. turns out fabregas aint a pirate e's a witch

    BURN HIM!

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  64. blogdignag said...
    turns out fabregas aint a pirate e's a witch

    BURN HIM!



    Are things a bit slow on your watch today Bloggy?

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  65. Cor blimey!! I just checked the FFL and my ineptitude seems to be paying dividends.
    I'm up to 3rd in the blog league and a run of 7 unbeaten in the HtoH sees me in 2nd.

    Drink really is the answer!!!

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  66. Re Fabregas.

    I too, like my fellow gooners here, cringe every time I see Cesc waving an imaginary card, but I'm glad he talks to the ref a lot. For those of you who don't realise, it's perfectly within the law for him to do so, actually as captain it's his right to.

    I strongly disagree that his "head or heart is not in it" and laugh off the suggestions that he should be sold, he's by far our best player, our talisman and the improved quality of our play when he is on the pitch is there for all to see.

    Arsenal fans have bemoaned the lack of leaders for a while now, finally we have one and some still moan. He gives 100% in every game he is part of, starting or from the bench. Maybe (and who can blame him) he has had his head turned by Barceloana, but to suggest he doesn't give his all for the Arsenal is ludicris.

    As for all the hoop-la over what happened in the tunnel, it's starting to look like a deflection ploy by Moyes to hide the fact that his team (which contained 13 players) lost to the 11 of Arsenal. If what happened was truly "disgusting" then surely the ref would of put it in his report and the F.A would have taken further action?

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  67. Bells, me and you again? You wanna be on top this time?

    I think FBH has left his team alone for 16 weeks which meant he came good against me with Rooney scoring 32 points. I might have to recruit Sturridge in place of Torres, he (like me) is due a groin pull.

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  68. Fabregas could be a good pick up, if what Blog says is true he should be on fire this weekend.

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  69. V. BUSY, BHB. TOO BUSY TO WRITE OUT "VERY" IN FULL, FER INSTANCE.

    SHOULD OF SAID:

    ah-ha me hearties, pirate witch just hove into view : "ARREST HIM"

    then burn him

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  70. H2H, youre missing the point, mate. we're not gooners and we think he's a little spanish witchpirate. what he said in the tunnel is slanderous, and it's a pity hte official was too spineless to report it.

    there's a line that you can step over if you want to appear competitive/a leader, but if those roles arent natural to you, then you might end up in gnev pariah territory

    dont much care really myself about fabregas, just doing my bit to uphold standards in public life by expressing an opinion that about three people, including me, will read. he'll be injured by the end of next week anyway

    trott / BHB, isnt it time you two got yourselves a (chat) room?

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  71. I don't mind being on top Trotts but as for the groin pull ....

    Bloggy, let's make him walk the plank first - we'll make Gary Neville lie flat,dangling off a boat -then we can arrest him, then burn him. Then we'll make him watch james Cordens world cup thing for all of eternity - that'll teach him to talk to the ref in the tunnel.

    H2H what is it that you drink cos wine sure as hell is not helping me with my FFL selections ..

    Right am off homw now, chat to you tomorrow

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  72. make him walk the plank then hit it him with it then tie him face to face to gnevs rotting corpse so the wee scrappy moustache is in his eyes and bury him alive in a pig farm but watch james Cordens for ALL eternity, BHB??? thats going too far. cant stand the wee spanish mannikin meself but thats going too far. even id'd only make him watch corden for a part of eternity, lets say 60% of eternity. but not all eternity. not that please god NOT THAT are you some kind of authoritarian sadist????? you should join the pol....oh

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  73. Fair enough blogs, but at least you've got three readers, I'm sure most just skip over my drivel.
    I still think El pirate Capitain is great though and I hope he has some dubloons to show for it at the end of the season, a bit of Long John Silverware if you please.

    ---
    Bells, I'm no wine connoisseur, not by a long shot, although I'm pretty good a taking a swig and spitting it out, however, I'd suggest that whatever your tipple may be whilst choosing your team, drink to access.
    This will insure that you either;

    a) pass out and forget to do it (works for me)

    b) make silly choices that you wouldn't do when sober. (again, works for me)

    z) not give a toss anyway.

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  74. Damn it.
    Once I again I got access and excess confussed.

    If I remember correctly now then one's your flexible friend and the other is yourself on a bender.

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  75. The Gnev story seems to be getting lots of hits on MCunty, obviously IOU fans for him, but there is still a lot of respect from non IOU fans, I guess he deserves that

    ReplyDelete
  76. Drinking to access can get you in anywhere

    ReplyDelete
  77. Tone, Re GNev.

    He is of course a twat of almost John Terry proportions, BUT, he has had an amazing carear, has won everything going (at club level), was a trusted international and you'd be hard pressed to name someone better then him in the PL in his position when he was at his prime. Definetly not the most technically gifted player, but what he lacked in skill he made up for in spades with effort and application.

    He deserves the plaudits.









    After that he should walk the plank and then be made to watch Corden for a long but not yet determined amount of time.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Of course he's a twat esp with that slug on his face,

    as for gocompare with JT, he has other things on his mind
    1 How to stop a small Argy running rings round him on Sun
    2 How quickly can he tap up Nandos missus

    ReplyDelete
  79. Is Wenger now regretting not buying in Jan? If something happens to wots-his-name cheezy..its b ack to almunia between the sticks.

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  80. AH, His name is Cheesy Wotsit, or something along those lines.

    I'm more worried about our CB cover (or lack of it) and that we have no replacement for Song who is reportedly out with a dead leg, which sounds a bit silly to me, ços when I was a kid a dead leg was something you just had to walk off.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Could be worse H ... found out today why Pienaar didn't play yesterday. That South African lad we've got as a defender booted him in the head and KO'd him in training.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Why cant them South Africans just say hello like the rest of the world?

    ReplyDelete
  83. Arsene Wenger claims Cesc Fabregas victim of 'witch hunt'
    ---------------------------------------------
    Blogs, they're on to you!

    ReplyDelete
  84. G'day all

    Another January transfer passes without anyone new at the Emirates. I have no doubts that the coming weeks will prove it was a mistake not to bring at least a first choice CB, we have enough shite that can cover the position already. We also need a first choice GK, we just lost our cover GK for the season which puts Almunia in the mix to play more games... not what you want if you are chasing silverware.

    H2, I hear what you are saying about Fabregas's class... he is quality for sure but he has become a twat... if selling him means we go a couple more years without winning the PL, then so be it. I would rather that than have to put up with his antics every week. If I wanted to follow a team of twats I would have supported Un**ed. That said... I would be happy to keep him (not that I have any say in the matter) if he learns a bit of self control and conducts himself in the manner expected of an Arsenal captain.

    ReplyDelete
  85. Good point Bo, let's get him drink so he can be more like Tony Adams. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  86. is that like a modern Dutch Bloody Mary H?

    ReplyDelete
  87. That Was Deliberate here

    Still can't seem to get a bleeding account set up.

    Anyhow,

    H2H, I concur: It embarrasses me when Cesc acts out the way he does; at the same time, we're talking about a young man who has seen 2 of his teammates legs sticking out of their skin (Eduardo and Ramsey, namely). I think that some of his indignation at referee decisions in general is actually warranted, though ugly.

    On the other hand,
    H2H, we have the worst disciplinary record in the PL this season, no? (Correct me if I'm wrong on this one.) Most of those cards are naive challenges my the likes of Koscielny, no doubt; but I do have to wonder at times, What right do we Gunners have to complain about reckless challenges when we ourselves have committed so many fouls? There is a salient difference, though: We haven't broken people's legs so badly that the BBC bans footage of the leg coming out of the skin at a 30 degree angle with blood pouring out. Disgusting. I remember being on a layover in Dublin when watching Arsenal v Birmingham and after Edu's leg-break I ran to the bathroom and lost my lunch!

    Anyhow, good blog as ever, Robbo. That picture is...well...my...funny in the context of your blog and masturbatory in its own right!

    Carry on!

    TWD

    ReplyDelete
  88. TWD here again

    I meant the photo of the left boob. Wow.

    If encountered with that boob, for all you tennis players, the best response is a drop shot.

    Not too subtle,
    That Was Deliberate

    ReplyDelete
  89. Morning all.
    Wenger thinks Jan window creates instability in the league. Now thats a pessimistic view.

    An optimist would have gone ahead and made a few purchases to help strengthen a team. Selling Denilson for whatever little amount we could have got would also have strengthened this team. We definetely need a CB and GK in summer.

    ReplyDelete
  90. wassup? Where is everyone? Is it the Royal Wedding already? Did the country shutdown for year of the rabbit festivities?

    ReplyDelete
  91. I see Rafa has been weighing into the Torres debate, claiming he's worth £70m. Shouldn't he be concentrating on the club he's managing now? Oh, sorry, he got sacked, didn't he.

    ReplyDelete
  92. I can't say I blame Wenger for keeping out of the market. Anyone that would boost the team would have cost an arm and a leg because of a few clubs' idiotic spending.

    I'm hoping that the EU finds in favour of that Landlady who was fined for not using Sky to screen prem matches. That'll fuck the TV deal money up and the loss of revenue might force clubs to spend less in the future.

    *sits back and awaits others to pick holes in his grasp of Economics*

    ReplyDelete
  93. Lol, yeah Anon, not once, but twice in six months.

    ReplyDelete
  94. Thx Starfire. Given Rafa's record in the transfer market, I'm not sure I'd trust his valuations (£20m for Aquilani?).

    I think there's a fair chance the EU will find in favour of the landlady, unless the NotW has got the dirt on the judges.

    I think your economics is about right. The clubs with the biggest problems will be the ones with big debts to service. And we all know who they are).

    ReplyDelete
  95. trott - what do you mean where is everyone? this is everyone!

    we're like baby seals on the the ice floes of the blogosphere, waiting to be culled by the cruel club of apathy

    cruel club of apathy? that would be the vale i guess

    ReplyDelete
  96. Hi TWD.

    Try using this page to make an account;

    https://www.google.com/accounts

    ReplyDelete
  97. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/9387849.stm

    ---------------------

    Yes, because it makes perfect sense when there's so much else that needs sorting out they decide to go for Snoods ...

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  98. Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp will consider signing LA Galaxy midfielder David Beckham in November when the Major League Soccer season ends. Speaking about the former Manchester United star who trained at White Hart Lane recently, Redknapp said: "He is a top-class bloke. Is it something we would consider in November? Yes, you would love to have him at your club."
    Full story: Daily Mirror
    ----

    Of course 'Arry wants 'im, 'e's a midfielder, innit.

    ReplyDelete
  99. We're all doomed (well except for AH & Trotts, so actually that's about half of us who aren't doomed) - Lawro has predicted wins for us Chavs, The card-waiving Pirate supporters and Tottenham 'not enough midfielders' Hotspurs.

    Afternoon everyone

    I've done a little Rafa-ing to my FFL team today, (whilst pretending to be pissed H2), so not only will I lose again, I'm likely to be out a job come Monday

    ReplyDelete
  100. Blog, there was a twelve hour window when just SS chipped in, it can be a lonely life hitting that refresh button. This back to page 1 shit is sending 'em all back to the BBC.

    ReplyDelete
  101. The worrying thing about the lack of posters (and for once I don't mean pictures of Mourinho) is that one day Robbo may think why bother and not only will we lose an entertaining blog, a chance for some 'witty' banter amongst us - the worst of it is it means we may actually have to do some work

    I'll start off with an insightful footie related question:

    Trotts - how many footballs would your UK-made storage boxes hold?

    ReplyDelete
  102. Chelsea are planning a summer clear-out which could include Didier Drogba, Florent Malouda, John Obi Mikel, Jose Bosingwa and Yuri Zhirkov as owner Roman Abramovich looks to bring in cash after the signings of Fernando Torres and David Luiz.
    Full story: The Sun

    ----------------

    I think we'd probably get tuppence ha'penny for Mikel

    ReplyDelete
  103. inflated or flat Bells?

    Biggest problem is that if nobody posts, the lurkers will have nowt to read!

    ReplyDelete
  104. TrotterUSA said...
    inflated or flat Bells?
    -----------------------------------------
    Kind of a personal question is that not Trotts. BHB might get offended if she weren't drunk all the time.

    BHB - Dont even joke about having to get back to work. Its not funny. Btw, I dont mind if you guys win the game as long as Nando gets a karate chop from Carra and ends his season. Not that i hold a grudge against him or anything.

    Dammit..it's still taking me back to page 1. oh, we are still on page 1 are we?

    ReplyDelete
  105. Ive done something I said I would never do, I commented on the Bond blog re the Pompey Landlady and SKY. My basic question is why is it so much cheaper in the DBL for game tickets and my SKY.de package covers ALL DBL 1 and 2 games plus up to 6 EPL games per weekend, and it doesnt affect the attendances, average 10,000 higher.

    If I still lived in Rotherham(fortunately I dont) and Wednesday or the Blades were in PL(hahaha never happen), I would still go and watch the Millers live

    ReplyDelete
  106. G'day all

    I think I mentioned once before that if I stopped posting, things in here would go to the shitter. I hate being proven right all the time.

    Robbo seems to just throw out a blog then leave us to it.... I think what we need is a marketing manager to get the blog known in the blogosphere... anyone here with experience?

    ReplyDelete
  107. Bo..I think someone (Star maybe?) had the idea of posting a link to the blog on 606 and redirecting some of the nuttier ones here for us to have some fun with (a la dinner for shmucks)..anyone done that already? I'd be happy to give it a try if not.

    ReplyDelete
  108. Snoods and vanishing spray... important matters for fifa to deal with.

    "Capello is likely to name a much more experienced 23-man squad than the youthful one he picked for the loss to a dominant France team at Wembley. "... of course, he should stick with the players that did fuck all at the world cup, it's a matter of logic for an England manager.

    ReplyDelete
  109. If nothing else AH it would give us some passing trade.

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  110. Might want to hit up www.not606.com. A lot of 606 regulars are over on there as the real 606 is going to be binned before too much longer.

    ReplyDelete
  111. fuck..neither fox nor espn3 are showing the chelski-pool game..however, for my 15 bucks a month, fox are giving me west ham-birmingham live. shitheads.

    ReplyDelete
  112. I'm hoping that the EU finds in favour of that Landlady who was fined for not using Sky to screen prem matches. That'll fuck the TV deal money up and the loss of revenue might force clubs to spend less in the future.
    =====================================================================

    May not be good for the PL clubs but it may well prove to be great for football in England.... Is this a case of "beware of Greeks bearing gifts"

    ReplyDelete
  113. AH... doesn't fox offer you multiple games at all?

    ReplyDelete
  114. And they wonder why Pompey Landladies go delving through the Greek channels for a game to watch AH ...

    There's probably a thousand streams on the internet to watch it on.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Maybe the landlady winning at the European court of Justice was not such good news. This article, seems to suggest that BSkyB may gain more from this decision than anyone else. So maybe the PL clubs will have more to spend in future.

    ReplyDelete
  116. AH, no, it was dead innocent honest. Bells wants to know how many balls I can fit in a plassy English box. Obviously they're smaller when deflated so I was just looking for a spot of clarification.

    ReplyDelete
  117. How do you deflate your balls then Trot?

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  118. just leave 'em unused long enough Bo!

    ReplyDelete
  119. Then mine wont deflate any more Trott.

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  120. hahaha, it's worse not knowing when your next inflationary spike is coming Bo.

    ReplyDelete
  121. AH, FOX SOCCER CHANNEL USA has the game live! You could fly over and stay for the Superbowl party!

    ReplyDelete
  122. I know mate... the old ball (brown leather with laces) has been sitting in the cupboard untouched for years.

    ReplyDelete
  123. The France defence must be in poor shape if Koscielny has received a call up for their game against Brazil.

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  124. Morning fellow bloggers. It's gettig to the point where it'll probably be quicker for me to just list you by name.

    H-man, re Fabregas. I honestly believe that he is the best player in the Premiership. He was by far the best player last season, even if he didn't get the goals of Rooney, Drogba or Lampard. He galvanises and drives the team, and if he plays well, then Arsenal do well. I would never suggest that Arsenal should sell him, as he's so pivotal to the team, but this season there has been a change in him. He has every right to talk to the ref, but no right to wave cards. I know he's not the only one to do it, but it's an aspect of his game that has crept in. As for Moyes' comments, like you suggested, I think he's trying to deflect the situation away from his team. I think he's finally getting more than frustrated as his lack of money at the club and his inability to strengthen his squad while continually seeing it destrengthened every transfer window. I can't see him staying at the club much longer, which will be a shame for Everton.

    Anyhone reckon Jacks will ever be back? I see Arsenal are playing Stoke soon, and it brought it all back!

    ReplyDelete
  125. chill about the number of posts guys. I like it the way it is, repeating and each time slightly more muted like a Sam Beckett play

    the blog is better than ever, but. I don't understand its relative obscurity maybe I've got odd taste.

    as for jack - when keano was sacked his work here was done

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  126. trott I find this on going debate about how many balls you can get in your box a bit unsettling

    ReplyDelete
  127. Liverpool's American owner, John W Henry, has criticised Chelsea for their extravagant spending in the transfer window.

    -------------------------------

    Lol says the owner of a team who outspent Man City in the transfer window ...

    ReplyDelete
  128. Interesting re the Greeks bearing gifts. Here in the Middle East, an Abu Dhabi consortium bought up the PL rights for this season, and the prices rocketed. So we are watching the Greek channels too.

    ReplyDelete
  129. G'day all

    The blog is obscure because nobody but us know about it blog.

    Welcome Mr G... looking like you may be interested in... well, fecking girls and drink... you should feel right at home here.

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  130. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  131. An entertaining game at Stoke with Huth getting the winner in stoppage time.

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  132. I think its fair to say a fast start for Arsenal

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  133. Cerainly they have't been slowed down by anything resembling a defence.

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  134. Just for a change the gunners have taken their chances and have the game won at half time... would be nice if Newcastle come out in the second half though.

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  135. Jesus Christ ... I've just got in and I see it's gone goal crazy in the EPL.

    Got five goals scored between Tevez, Huth and VdV ... would have been six if the ref let his first attempt at the second peno count.

    Anyone know if Newcastle have got on the pitch yet?

    ReplyDelete
  136. Beat ya by two Star... I have van Persie along with the three you mentioned.

    ReplyDelete
  137. Starfire said...
    Anyone know if Newcastle have got on the pitch yet
    ------------
    Some of the "fans" went out well before half time. Perhaps they were looking for them

    ReplyDelete
  138. Bo, the cheapshit that I am, I dont have the Fox Soccer cable TV channel, where the game is being shown live. I have the online version, and for some reason it's being telecast delayed over the net. Always live of course, on myp2p.eu, so doesnt really matter, except for the chinese commentary.

    I have 6 goals between RvP, VdV and Tevez and an assist from downing and its just half time. where were all these goals when I needed them last 3 gameweeks.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Damn ... glad I ain't up against you in the H2H this week Bo.

    @ Mr Grumpy ... Don't blame them. Then again they might have snuck out early to set fire to Ashley's car.

    I shouldn't mock them really seeing Spurs did the same at Fulham the other week.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Once again, a rush of blood from an Arsenal player and were down to ten men.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Heh - well the sporting Gooners are trying to even things up now.

    Horrible tackle mind.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Then again Arsenal can give Castle a sporting chance and get one of their own sent off ...

    ReplyDelete
  143. poor effort from gomes to let that one in. sturridge will never score 2 easier goals than this and the one against blackburn last week. folks seem to be gifting him goals.

    ReplyDelete
  144. Another goal ... damn ... could have done without that one though.

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  145. Nice one Adam :)

    That's 8 scored by my team :)

    ReplyDelete
  146. Nine now ... Dempsey.

    Jesus Christ.

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  147. its like watching a highlights show in both toon-gooner and blackpool-everton games.

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  148. Saha's scored four for Everton now ... anyone have him in their team must be pissing themselves now.

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  149. this has got to be t he record for most number of goals scored in a day for the PL

    ReplyDelete
  150. 4-3 at St James's park ....what the MOTHERFUCK is going on there?

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  151. fuck..can the toons actually come back from 0-4 down and save the game? truly incredible day of footy.

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  152. 4-4.

    Arsenal, what the fuck have you got to say for yourselves?

    ReplyDelete
  153. Holy Crap - I think it safe to predict Arsene is a tad miffed.

    ReplyDelete
  154. Well they came out to play OK... but two soft penalties certainly contributed to the comeback.

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  155. and the toons have done it. surely they cant win it from here????

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  156. KRRAAAANNNNNJJJJAAAAEEEEEAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  157. Should be an interesting trip up the tunnel at St James'

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  158. 'Kin 'ell ... I've got 69 points in the FFl and I've still got Vidic and Nani (my Captain) to play.

    What a day's football. Incredible.

    ReplyDelete
  159. Great to see Krancjar getting some glory..i really rate him much higher than his number of appearances would suggest. He really is in a bad situation where all of Spurs 25 other midfielders are as good or better than him.

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  160. I am abso fucking lutely disgusted. Even allowing for Newcastle playing with such determination in the second half, no team with aspiration for winning anything gives away a four goal lead like that. I am now officially a Leyton Orient supporter. (until next week anyway)

    ReplyDelete
  161. He's a fine player AH, but with Bale, VdV, Modric and Lennon in the form they've been he's been unlucky this season.

    I would have been genuinely happy for him if he had left in January because he'd do well in any team.

    That said, right now, I'm fucking glad he didn't go now :)

    ReplyDelete
  162. back in the real world - well played tone, and for us an acceptable point

    ReplyDelete
  163. 7 red cards in all competitions your lot have racked up Bo.

    Mind, I reckon our lot aren't far behind on that front.

    ReplyDelete
  164. Arsenal striker Nicklas Bendtner surprised sports psychologist Jacques Crevoisier by scoring higher than any other player ever in a series of tests into self-confidence.
    :...:........................
    and even higher on the arrogant deluded nobhead index

    ReplyDelete
  165. Arsene: "I didn't see the sending off very well. But Barton should have been sent off too."

    A wonderful thing that your vision goes dim for the second part of the same incident!

    Annoyingly he is probably right...but still.

    ReplyDelete
  166. Weather Barton's challenge merited sending off or not is irrelevant. Diaby should know better than to retaliate as he did.

    ReplyDelete
  167. Arsene has become a self parody, grumpo

    David moyes said telling said something like - ill leave it to you to decide if you believe David moyes or Wenger

    arsenal seem to have decided to add an unpleasant edge to their football presumably in the desperate hope it makes them more competitive and I just hope it doesn't work and they keep coming second.

    pure football but no morals? bollocks to that

    ReplyDelete
  168. David Moyes Blog - every time. It's a shame to see the likes of the otherwise talented Wilshere picking up these traits and haranguing officials.

    ReplyDelete
  169. Arsenal midfielder Jack Wilshere on Twitter: "[After Newcastle 4-4 Arsenal]. Inconsistent refereeing needs to stop. It's killing the game. If Diaby is sent off, what's the difference between that and Kevin Nolan's challenge on our keeper!??"

    --------------------------------

    Quickly taken down apparently ... wonder if he'll get in trouble.

    ReplyDelete
  170. The difference? squaring up, handbag at the ready vs actually swinging with it. Both equally daft, but one of these will get you sent off every time.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Apologies to anyone with Rooney in their team. I brought him in this week and made him captain this appears to have put the Ju-Ju on him.

    As much as I love the way the Tangerines are playing, maybe it is time to shut up shop whilst ahead (especially away from home).

    ReplyDelete
  172. Waste of time this match .... just tell the ref to advance the clock to the 95th minute and give Rooney and open goal to shoot at.

    You know damn well they'll steal a draw one way or another.

    ReplyDelete
  173. No need to apologise Mr. I've got Nani in my side while my H2H oppo has Berbatov as their captain who's now been subbed.

    Thanks Fergie, I'm now cruising to a 20 point win for that :)

    ReplyDelete
  174. Scholes trying to do a Maradona, Giggs taking swipes at people ... boy are United getting desperate now ...

    ReplyDelete
  175. 5 minutes extra time now .... I'll say no more.

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  176. AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111!!!!

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  177. *ahem* I meant to say ahh what a shame, United's streak comes to an end.

    now Mick, if you rocked up with a proper XI last season you might have got something out of the games then you pillock.

    ReplyDelete
  178. So today I've had Vodka for lunch, Guinness as a mid afternoon tincture and now I'm piling into the wine.


    Booooooiiiiinnnnggggg!!!!!

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  179. mornin Lads and Bells, what a day. What the right hand giveth the left hand taketh away. Well done Star and the Spuds, Gooners, what the fuck, I'm still chuckling.

    Blog, sorry but you'll have to stay unsettled until Bells gets her answer (which, between you and me, is zero).

    ReplyDelete
  180. yeah, sorry about that Trotts, Spurs seem to have gotten into a habit of salvaging draws/wins at the death lately ... it's not doing my health much good.

    On the plus side for your lot, I think Coyle's pulled a master stroke getting hold of Sturridge. He might even show Elmy where the goal is.

    ReplyDelete
  181. 93 points and I'm done for the week. My oppo has 62, and I really can't see Foster making that sort of difference up.

    ReplyDelete
  182. ElMandy has 3 months left so Sturridge can take him back to Chelsea with him!

    Bo, this one gets my vote for post of the week:

    BojanglesOfOz said...
    Just for a change the gunners have taken their chances and have the game won at half time... would be nice if Newcastle come out in the second half though.

    ReplyDelete
  183. I don't think Bo's going to live that one down in a hurry.

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  184. not bo's fault his team has no bollocks

    ReplyDelete
  185. What a fucking day of football! I don't know what made me happier - Nico getting a last minute winner for Spurs, or IOU finally getting the result that their football has deserved. No surprise that the loss came in a game with Jonny Evans in the team. As for the Arsenal game, well I bet all them Newcastle fans who left at halftime won't do that again.

    I'm taking the missus to a Jets game this afternoon. I've spent the morning with the HP bottle and the salt and pepper, trying to explain the offside rule, but then The Hills came on the TV and I lost her. I bought the tickets 5 hours before kick off, and I've managed to get front row on the halfway line seats. I'm guessing it's not a sell out then.

    ReplyDelete
  186. anniversary of the Munich air disaster today. Man u were six points behind the leaders at the time...wolverhampton wanderers

    ReplyDelete
  187. its also Rick astleys birthday

    I got a historical events widget, btw

    ReplyDelete
  188. Knowledge is power. Capability Brown died on this day.

    Fuck this posting rapid inconsequential opinions about footer malarky.

    My contributions from now on shall be the births and deaths of historical figures

    ReplyDelete
  189. RIP jack kirby marvel comics artist (i always thought he was shit, neal Adams was the man...I have a neal Adams X-men ...somewhere) died on this day

    ReplyDelete

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