Taxi for Moyes

It's difficult to see where David Moyes can go now. The late equaliser by Darren Bent - a man who misses chances Harry Redknapp's wife could finish - has really summed up his season. I was reminded of Poland's streaky draw at Wembley in 1973.



Man United camped in Fulham's half like a washed up shoal of jellyfish; destined to be there but without a fucking clue why - a bit like Moyes really.




I've said already on this blog that Moyes was handed a busted flush. Ferguson hand-picked a bunch of youthful Englishmen none of whom look capable of playing above Championship level. And indeed if Boro were offered Cleverley or Smalling, I'd politely turn them down in favour of a sack of flour and a hat-stand.



But the team that the Anointed One put out today was full of thrusting match-winners. Van Persie, Mata and Rooney (whose hair has grown as unconfident as his form in reason weeks). These are good, indeed at times, great players. Not one of them shook so much as a stick at Fulham for seventy-five minutes.



And this is Fulham we're talking about. The worse team in the league right now, if you allow for the fact that Newcastle have just about enough to stay up. New signings aside - and Holtby had a decent start - the idea that the Premier League Champions should do anything other than have the decency not to laugh in their faces seems ludicrous.




And yet...



United put together the worst set of crosses since the Judean Crucifixion Squad's store room got flooded. Ashley Young, robbed of the option of blatantly throwing himself to the floor, looks abject. And he was paired with Rafael, another bright spark sputtering in a rain-drenched winter.


Indeed it's hard not to think of Moyes stranded on a tiny knoll as flood after flood of desperate results lapse against the silty ground on which he stands. Even if the former Everton man chooses to blame misfortune over mismanagement, it's pretty clear his squad needs a bloody good dredging come the summer.

The question is, will he be the one leading the clear-out? And to me, it looks very very debatable. Folks point out that Ferguson was given a fair crack of the whip, but let's face it United weren't so much a sleeping giant as genuinely catatonic when he took over. Poor David's team slide down the league like flailing Slopes-Stylers.

And while we're on it, well done Jenny Jones for winning bronze in that potty but plainly exciting event. She's reasonably easy on the eye too so I reckon Inverdale will be straight in there for a natter. (I missed the opening ceremony due to not being very interested. Was it as camp as their oft bare-chested president? Tell me he was in a dance routine called Putin on the Ritz, please. Make it be so.)


Where was I? - yes Moyes. Well unless the Anointer can keep his influence going then I can't see Moyes hanging on much longer. The big summer spend is going to be vital and there's not a half-decent Herbert out there who isn't being touted as the next Man U addition. But who wants Europa League football year after year? It's not as if Moyes drew in the big names with such promises at Everton.

I think the Glazers will cut the poor lad adrift.


Meanwhile the man who would have not done it the United way and would probably have the team in the top three by now is sitting pretty aboard the showboat that is Chelsea.


Mourinho is starting to purr now. I like this remodelled version. He's jokier, gentler but just as sneaky with the soundbite. Chelsea are a little horse, my arse. It's like saying Justin Bieber is a bit of a worry. And ever since he started this phoney war, Citeh have stumbled and failed to score in two games running. Now he's calling them a jaguar. Well if they are they're behaving very much like the ones in Winnie-the-Pooh that often fell out of trees. I tipped Chelsea at the beginning of the season, so...

And of course Arsenal finally had their inevitable crash-landing n all, and so Jose is well placed to deny any title-seeking aspirations. Wenger has a horrible little run to contemplate in the next few games but he'll be very relieved that the first one is home to Man U. That should right the ship.