Sunday 9 February 2014

Taxi for Moyes

It's difficult to see where David Moyes can go now. The late equaliser by Darren Bent - a man who misses chances Harry Redknapp's wife could finish - has really summed up his season. I was reminded of Poland's streaky draw at Wembley in 1973.



Man United camped in Fulham's half like a washed up shoal of jellyfish; destined to be there but without a fucking clue why - a bit like Moyes really.




I've said already on this blog that Moyes was handed a busted flush. Ferguson hand-picked a bunch of youthful Englishmen none of whom look capable of playing above Championship level. And indeed if Boro were offered Cleverley or Smalling, I'd politely turn them down in favour of a sack of flour and a hat-stand.



But the team that the Anointed One put out today was full of thrusting match-winners. Van Persie, Mata and Rooney (whose hair has grown as unconfident as his form in reason weeks). These are good, indeed at times, great players. Not one of them shook so much as a stick at Fulham for seventy-five minutes.



And this is Fulham we're talking about. The worse team in the league right now, if you allow for the fact that Newcastle have just about enough to stay up. New signings aside - and Holtby had a decent start - the idea that the Premier League Champions should do anything other than have the decency not to laugh in their faces seems ludicrous.




And yet...



United put together the worst set of crosses since the Judean Crucifixion Squad's store room got flooded. Ashley Young, robbed of the option of blatantly throwing himself to the floor, looks abject. And he was paired with Rafael, another bright spark sputtering in a rain-drenched winter.


Indeed it's hard not to think of Moyes stranded on a tiny knoll as flood after flood of desperate results lapse against the silty ground on which he stands. Even if the former Everton man chooses to blame misfortune over mismanagement, it's pretty clear his squad needs a bloody good dredging come the summer.

The question is, will he be the one leading the clear-out? And to me, it looks very very debatable. Folks point out that Ferguson was given a fair crack of the whip, but let's face it United weren't so much a sleeping giant as genuinely catatonic when he took over. Poor David's team slide down the league like flailing Slopes-Stylers.

And while we're on it, well done Jenny Jones for winning bronze in that potty but plainly exciting event. She's reasonably easy on the eye too so I reckon Inverdale will be straight in there for a natter. (I missed the opening ceremony due to not being very interested. Was it as camp as their oft bare-chested president? Tell me he was in a dance routine called Putin on the Ritz, please. Make it be so.)


Where was I? - yes Moyes. Well unless the Anointer can keep his influence going then I can't see Moyes hanging on much longer. The big summer spend is going to be vital and there's not a half-decent Herbert out there who isn't being touted as the next Man U addition. But who wants Europa League football year after year? It's not as if Moyes drew in the big names with such promises at Everton.

I think the Glazers will cut the poor lad adrift.


Meanwhile the man who would have not done it the United way and would probably have the team in the top three by now is sitting pretty aboard the showboat that is Chelsea.


Mourinho is starting to purr now. I like this remodelled version. He's jokier, gentler but just as sneaky with the soundbite. Chelsea are a little horse, my arse. It's like saying Justin Bieber is a bit of a worry. And ever since he started this phoney war, Citeh have stumbled and failed to score in two games running. Now he's calling them a jaguar. Well if they are they're behaving very much like the ones in Winnie-the-Pooh that often fell out of trees. I tipped Chelsea at the beginning of the season, so...

And of course Arsenal finally had their inevitable crash-landing n all, and so Jose is well placed to deny any title-seeking aspirations. Wenger has a horrible little run to contemplate in the next few games but he'll be very relieved that the first one is home to Man U. That should right the ship.



156 comments:

  1. Apologies for the massive spacings between paragraphs. This is a printing error. But feel free to interpret the blank spaces as being representative of David Moyes's thought processes.

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  2. Can I still claim number 1 Robbo?

    --BeeZee

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  3. Excellent blog once again. Although I was hoping until the end that you woudnt mention the drubbing we received at the hands of Liverpool. Been saying it all along, we messed up big time by not pushing the suarez deal through, 10 mill more and he was ours, instead we got a player who is very good but not what we needed. Ah well...

    --BeeZee

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  4. good blog - but we all know united will beat arsenal on weds.

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  5. Good stuff Robbo, blank spaces and black holes alike. What Moyes needs is an assistant like Rene or Ray "8 yard square ball" Wilkins, instead of his boy band wannabes.

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  6. For years i have teased on the comment sections of football blogs, that with Fergie's departure will come the ruin of United. I was adamant that the fate of man U was to mirror that of liverpools... that they would fall by the wayside and relinquish there grip on the premier league... and now it has happened, And where as i had predicted a sense of elation, seeing them whimper like wounded pups puts me in thought of my own mortality, as i see this proud former champ bow out disgracefully, an embarrassing shadow of it's former self... a fate unavoidable for us all..... Then i just laugh my fucking tits off!!! My god united are so fucking bad, jesus H ferguson this shower of shit are awful. Someone answer that phone... because i totally fucking called it. hahahaha i mean seriously, god damn whipping boys fulham. Fuck thats bad.

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  7. Blimey what a blog

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  8. Top level football had got more in common with hypnosis. United don't need Moyes they need Paul McKenna. He might get Rooney to give up smoking while hrs at it. Moyes doesn't understand this. All the irritating buckshot fergie and Maureen specialise in, it gets under the skin, and as we know footballers would fuck a granny if someone suggested to them it was a good idea. Ipso facto, Moyes is as out of his depth as a sheep farmer on the Somerset levels. His appointment will become a text book example of why departing executives should NEVER be allowed to choose their reminds me of me when I was younger replacement, in this case a pale ginger imitation. So saf carries a lot of the responsibility here, not least for leaving such a shit team behind. Rvp bought for one season, no midfield, ageing stars.

    They've got enough money to return but it's unclear whether the glazers understand how cheaply safs success had come or whether they're prepared to pay full price, which if you're reading this glazers, would be more than you'd have to pay for port vale to get into the prem.

    YOU will buy port vale.
    YOU will give them all your money.
    Your back in the room.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This is the best thing you will read about the camper than Christmas Olympics which have thrown Putin and his secret lovers into such a crisis of masculinity (kgb stands for Kremlin Gay Bar - who knew?)
    http://thealdershotwoes.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/gaylympics.html?showComment=1391981943737#c2949215562144756896

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  10. Perhaps Robbo for Man Utd next season?

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  11. Brilliant blog. BBC football site so boring without this.

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  12. I'm not sure if Arsenal have had a "crash landing" as they seemed to do OK after losing away at City 6-0.

    As for Un**ed?Well,I'm intrigued by the reaction the younger fans will have as they've only ever known constant success.The older fans have been down this road before (one customer telling me about the amount of stick he got in '74 for example).

    Just as long as anyone but Maureen wins it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Er ... wasn't it 6-3, not 6-0?



      Jedi

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    2. It was.However the point still stands Jedi I think.

      Delete
    3. It does. Especially the bit about Maureen (and the Gooners).


      Jedi

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  13. Shit! Nice one Robson! Moyesy to be shown the door when united exit the champions leauge!!!! You read it here first!!!!

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  14. As a lifelong Utd fan of a certain age (I remember 74 well!), I can take us being in 'transition' but at this rate we will be transitioning to the championship! I think that the Glazers will give him till we are out of the Champions League and then pull the plug! Can't see anything but a bit of a massacre from Arsenal coming up!

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  15. Quite an entertaining weekend (I don't buy the "Moyes is crap" theory: he inherited a mess, but a fine blog all the same). Spurs win playing badly, Gooners get a kicking, Manu drop 2 points. Might be just optimism on my part, but hoping the Gooners suffer their usual February and March "blip" (out of all cup comps, bad results in the league), and the "battle for 4th" becomes a "battle for 3rd and 4th" (the "Billion Dollar Babies" - Citeh and Chelski - look nailed on for the league).

    Liverpool looking ominously good, I have to say.


    Jedi

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  16. Fulham defender Dan Burn says Manchester United's persistent crossing reminded him of playing in the Conference.
    -------------------------------------------
    Now, he's just taking the piss.

    Also, shut up Jedi and anyone else who has anything optimistic to say about Liverpool's chances. Just shut the fuck up. If we screw up against Fulham, you're to blame.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Liverpool definitely nailed on for a 4 - 0 win. Title contenders on this form!

      Delete
    2. Liverpool pretty much nailed on for a top 4 spot, I reckon. Scoring plenty of goals, and winning consistently. Nothing can go wrong!


      Jedi

      PS now PLEASE screw up against Fulham!

      Delete
    3. I figure Liverpool go undefeated the rest of the year, right? Not a tough fixture in the lot. Might not even concede a goal.

      Delete
  17. Nice blog, Robbo - I think you're helping me get over Moyes' departure from Everton. I had a lot of doubts about Martinez, but he's got the Toffees playing some attractive, positive football (recent derby aside - can ANYONE beat Liverpool now? I think not!), and even though they still have the odd head-scratcher of a loss, they have some wins against quality teams to go with them for once. As for United? Well, bless me if they don't look like the Everton I watched for the past decade or so.

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  18. This result has been an absolute disaster. The tumble down the table coupled with the debacle in the summer transfer window. We just seem a bit too predictable and the amount of winless sequences at OT that have ended this season is ridiculous

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  19. I read in the Daily Torygraph that when Meulensteen left ManUre shortly after Dave arrived, he told him, "You're going from a yacht to a cruise ship". Which cruise ship did he have in mind, the Costa Concordia?

    SAVE DAVE!!!!!!!

    Spider

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. and Fergie, David Gill and Scholesy nicked the life boat!

      Delete
    2. You'd think the captain would be the last to leave the sinking ship, but Vidic is off too.

      Delete
    3. Giggsy is probably down below with Kate Winslett.

      Delete
    4. With Leo Dicaprio drawing that French prostitute with one leg....
      Patrice Evra.

      Delete
    5. 06/11/2013 15:05, Report by Adam Marshall
      Reds can handle Arsenal

      Gary Pallister believes Manchester United can handle the pressure leading into Sunday's 'titanic' tussle with Arsenal

      Palister is a clairvoyant.

      Delete
  20. The brilliant thing is that Man Utd are really really shit, i mean other than rooney, areveepee or mata they would all struggle to play in the championship. So even if Moyes goes, and united BUY loads of players in the summer - that still kills United. As i have been informed for years by Man U fans that REAL teams develop squads - and only feckless foreign billionaires with no place in football would do something as feckless as buy the league. So for United you can either be Everton or Manchester City - either way YOUR manchester united is dead.

    ReplyDelete
  21. http://thealdershotwoes.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/lebellend.html

    oh, and i wrote some shit about shia lebeouf and eric cantona - i wouldnt bother reading it, but you might...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. their lives will be a lot closer to complete if they read it.

      Delete
  22. Best. Celebration. Ever.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vcJibyBRAM#t=41

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    Replies
    1. (Found the story on Eurosport, but the link gives away what happens.)

      Delete
  23. Good blog Robbo, one of your best.

    For me, this is the best PL season in it's short history. Arsenal doing well (if they are still within a couple points of the leaders after april 5 then they are in with a chance of taking the title) and Un**ed under Moyes are now showing just how great a manager Fergie was . Anyone who could win a title with that pile of shit is deserving of the title Football Supremo (that is fucking hard for me to type, believe me.)

    Maybe over the next few season's the ABU's may slowly die out, I'd be more than happy if ABA's took their place.

    Meanwhile things at Brisbane Road are not looking so rosy as they looked a month ago. A couple of home losses have seen the mighty O's slip to third place. It was good while it lasted.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I sincerely hope I will be an ABU until the day I day Bo. Sadly that day may come sooner than I had really hoped if I continue to fall off my chair laughing at the way their season is going.

      SAVE DAVE

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    2. Research by a dating company has found that the perfect girlfriend would be a Manchester United fan who has a healthy obsession with the club.
      Full story: Metro
      ---------------------------------
      Absolutely. Couldn't be anything more perfecter could there ?

      Delete
    3. I bet that survey was taken before Moyes took over.

      They would of been pleasant with their team winning.

      They're probably nasty, mean, be-atches now.


      SAVE DAVE.........................

      But at the same time blame him that you are stuck with he cyber date from hell.

      Delete
  24. all joking aside, Mancs and Moyes will be fine if the coffers are opened. If Wenger doesn't win this year he'll bugger off and the focus will shift again. If liverpool get a few players and Spurs can keep it together we could be in for some fantastically competitive seasons, especially when Bolton get back up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Moyes has already spent over 65mill and he looks like a rabbit caught in the headlights.

      Wenger will stay for another three years regardless.

      Liverpool are doing well this year but without the distractions of a European campain, they will need more then a few additions to their squad if they end up in the top 4, which they should.

      Spurs are wierd this season. Not bad, but not good either. Sheerwood's doing okay, but I don't think their board is fully behind him. If they do bring in someone else (van gaal/de boer heavily linked) then the whole circus will start again, not the best way to run a club.

      Bolton would have won it this year, no probs.

      Delete
  25. The wonder is why Januzaj and Kagawa don't get to play but some right tosspots whose names I can barely remember (ah yes! Stupidly is it? He ain't fucking clever and still manages to get in the England squad).

    Just looking at the Man Utd squad and some of the names are a right mystery to me.

    I love that bloke Fletcher, but he needs to retire on grounds of ill-health, maybe get his coaching badges? Young? Waste of time and money for sure. Nani will never be the next C Ronaldo.

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  26. it's a worrying situation, the younger ManU players, Jones, Cleverly, Welbeck, Smalling, Young, are all in the fuckin England squad! As are of course, Rooney and Carrick. Januzaj is exciting and will be English in a few years, by which time he'll hopefully not be the greatest source of opposition counter attacks.

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  27. If England could find a manager that picked a team based on current form rather then reputation then maybe we could get knocked out in the semis instead of the last 16/quarter finals.

    Never happen though, the media wouldn't let it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If the England manager picked players based on current form he'd have to select a starting eleven from the Championship.

      Delete
    2. Not necessarily.

      But there are players in the PL outside the traditional big clubs that are doing quite well too, but because they play for Southampton Sunderland, Hull, wherever, probably won't get a look in.

      Delete
    3. While sections of the media and soppy twats on the MoTD sofa call for John Terry's return.

      You couldn't make it up if you tried.

      Delete
    4. Cahill, Wilshere, Sturridge, Nolan should obviously be in the team based on (cough) current form.

      Delete
    5. McNumpty's managed to write a whole column on that H2, even though he admits it's a non-starter. Mind you, if he's saying his column is a total irrelevance it may be the first time he's been in agreement with most posters here.



      Jedi

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  28. I agree H2. It's been the case for many years, if an Englishman plays for one of the top clubs he is given an England shirt along with his club shirt regardless of ability.

    I have nothing against Jones, Cleverly or Carrick being selected in the England squad on the proviso they are not picked to play..

    Bells, I'll be an ABU as long as my arsehole points south, I'm hoping we can add to your enjoyment tomorrow night so long as it doesn't lead to your early demise through one too many chair falls.

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  29. It's like everyone is an ABU here lately, a real no mancs land since the chosen Moyesiah took over.

    Where art thou, thee prawn sandwich munching, plasticated hunters of glory?!?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. come on Adam, get back here and tell the bastards where to go. Don't leave the team to do the talking!

      Delete
    2. as you wish I have returned (I've been really busy at work for a while). Someone needs to give Moyes a slap and tell him not to waste the players he has.

      Why is Zaha at Cardiff - Fergie gives him a £15M arrival present and he wastes it.

      Why is Januzaj left out in favour of Young and Valencia neither of whom are as good as him.

      Why is he the only person in England who doesn't know that Phil Jones is a centre half not a midfielder or full-back

      Why is Michael Carrick still starting

      We don't play fast enough, intelligently enough or relentlessly enough and that's why we are losing

      Ian Wright summed it up when he said that Wednesday's game was like a friendly and it was better when the players all hated each other.

      And for once he was right

      Delete
  30. I managed to watch my first full game of football for the season tonight and although the result wasn't what I'd hoped it would be it was acceptable. Two things stood out while watching. One, considering the often talked about talent in Arsenal's midfield they showed a considerable lack of inventiveness and a lot of predictability. Two, we are in real need of a class striker. A fair assessment H2?

    Bells, you will be happy about the result...maybe not quite falling off your chair happy.

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  31. Replies
    1. Pretty fucked, Its just 9am and weve had 5 inches already and apparently another 12-14 hours more of snowfall. I had 5 trees down last week, fortunately all of them missed the house. Fingers crossed.

      Delete
    2. we're at about 8" as of 10.30 am. Some places it's coming down at 2" per hour. Still got power (for now).

      Delete
    3. AnfieldHopeful, TrotterUSA, whereabouts are you in the USA ?
      CT here.

      Delete
    4. In NC, my parents are iced in completely. Oddly, out here in UT, it is 40 and rainy, which is warm and wet for this time of year here.

      Delete
    5. I'm NJ anon and AH is in a secure underground bunker at an undisclosed location surrounded by fallen trees where it's been snowing.

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  32. Extreamly fair Bo.

    The lack of a real quality striker is what will derail any seious challenge I'm afraid, we've actually performed miracles to be where we are, which is mainly the reason I have chosen to celebrate quietly and not make a big fuss about us being in the running for so long.

    We're also missing a few key players, I know you haven't been a Ramsey fan, but he has been massive this season and had a knack of popping up behind tight defences, Flamini (suspended) would have probably been a better choice in the DM role. Theo is missed too. We lacked pace and guile yesterday, Giroud worked his knackers off but looked beat, with three strikers on the sub bench (of varying quality) I couldn't work out why no change was made. If I were to hazard i guess I believe that Wenger thought it more important not to lose, rather then going balls out for the win (maybe learning from the mistakes v Dortmond).

    A draw not the end of the world, but still a disappointing result against not a very good United, even though they had Rvp, Rooney and Mata in their first XI, players that have a more then decent record against us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. got to agree with you on ramsey - dude was superb first 3rd of the season... like a different man. Done me wonders in the fantasy league (still pushing for top four).

      Arsenal i do not think are near to being a great team, yet. But this season unlike the last many many many years of this transitional period of post-henry arsenal, is actually a really good platform to build on. But... if you go yet another year with no trophy, that's going to be big... 2005 may not feel like it, but it was a really long time ago.

      Delete
  33. Kolo fucking Toure. Someone please put him out of his misery.

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  34. Kolo fucking Toure. Someone please put him out of his misery.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that I've asked twice, maybe someone will.

      Delete
    2. It was an impressive own goal though....

      Delete
    3. Save Kolo (and Dave)!



      Jedi

      Delete
  35. Lazio threaten legal action after claims Cameroon 17 year-old Joseph Minala is actually 41.
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon, how difficult is it to tell if someone is 17 or 41 ? He definitely doesn't look 17 from the picture, unless his real name is Benjamin Button.

    http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/26162408

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What’s wrong with his head? It looks huge.

      I’m not sure if should be on a football pitch or mounted to a cars dashboard nodding his noggin manaically.

      Delete
  36. http://thealdershotwoes.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/curling-one-out.html

    wrote this... about stuff and that.

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  37. No often I put Maureen quotes on, but I did like this one from the Beeb.

    Arsene Wenger is a "specialist in failure", according to Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho.
    The Blues boss was responding to the Gunners' manager's claim that the Premier League title is now "Chelsea's to lose".

    That's going to hurt, because it's accurate enough to do so.


    Jedi

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    Replies
    1. Funny that he is the second most successful manager in the PL era.

      Delete
    2. True or not, that's rather pointed.

      Delete
  38. rba.

    Yeah, the old Arsenal havent won a trophey since line, always a good one to trot out.

    AW became a victim of hs own success, nothing is ever mentioned about the changing football landscape with the financialy doped clubs. Liverpool get the same treatment, although not so bad even though they are a massive club that have never won the PL. Spur's last title was in 1961 ffs.

    The only other clubs that have won anything are the Chavs or the mancs. Others who crash the party don't do so well afterwards. Look at B'ham and Wigan. relegated the same season as they tasted cup glory, Portsmouth almost folded after their day out at Wembley.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. very upset that you missed Blackburn off the list, H, cluck cluck.

      Delete
    2. We won the Setanta shield and they went bust the following season... it's a funny old game.

      You know i'm only joking, Arsenal have remained top 4 of the premier league - that consistency alone would be welcomed by 68 other teams in the football league alone... not me though, wouldn't swap my Shots for anything... no, i totally would.



      Delete
  39. Olympic update:

    Just saw the Irish guy on the Skeleton....

    He almost became one.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Whoa... Meulensteen fired already. In with Magath.

    http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/26200035

    At this point they could bring in Fergie and still fall.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kinda funny really. They brought him in to 'help' Jol, whom they then fired, and now the helper who became manager is fired after 5 games.

      Delete
    2. Loved Meulensteen's comments regarding the Fulham board being a bunch of panicky twats, and he could care less what their statement said. Good for him! Reminded me of John Goodman's appraisal of the 'kidnappers' in The Big Lebowski: They're fucking amateurs.

      Delete
    3. Yeah, but professional fuckers are called prostitutes.

      Delete
  41. I was never a great fan of Finney, although I did have a pair of Tom Finney signed football boots when I was a kid. My dad may have bought them for though it's doubtful as money was scarce back then (hasn't changed much really,) more likely came by way of an unsecured truck I'm thinking. Anyway RIP Tom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you should have held on to them Bo. RIP Sir Tom Finney, if Stanley Matthews put him as one of the all time greats, that's good enough for me.

      Delete
  42. The Vale in the early game, thought for sure it'd be on tele! wtf, Sunderland v Southampton.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good point for us there trots against the next to bottom fighting for their lives and totally shit Shrewsbury, with one effort on target in the while match I think they have made the right decision for once.
      Just spent a week in Brussels and return to find England sinking beneath the waves. The webbed feet of the residents of the little right wing dormitory town I inhabit, Greater Reichington, will come in useful at last, but I've just been caught speeding. I was traveling through the village at 32 knots.
      And now I'm off to Nandos....will the fun never fucking end

      Delete
  43. Ravel Morrison having trouble at west ham. He has trouble everywhere. but this guardian article points the figure at all allerdyce and some kind of aren't closed shop at wh. ....who knows what the truth is but we're not so bursting with talent that this story of complaint should be allowed by the FA to pass by with a shrug...
    'Look through his history and there is a fairly astounding pattern of players signing up to him from Allardyce teams. He also has a chequered past of his own, with an official warning from the Football Association after the 2008 investigation into Luton Town's illegal transfer dealings.

    Morrison was not keen but, since then, his complaint is that he has felt under considerable pressure from Allardyce and Nolan to change his mind, claiming it is brought up on an almost daily basis'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. which article, post the link please so I can add my unbiased, non-prejeducial commentary.

      Delete
    2. http://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2014/feb/15/ravel-morrison-west-ham-united-waste

      Delete
    3. thanks H, blah blah. Half a dozen players have the same corrupt agent? Probably comparable to every other team in the Prem and he'd get double his money when he recruits three more! It's all bent, top down. Hope 'arry fixes the lad's groin.

      Delete
    4. Rather pointless article really, a bit of finger pointing in all directions without anything concrete. I think Trotts summed it up perfectly with his 'blah, blah'.

      Delete
  44. The Sid lowe memorial post....

    WOOOOOO-NE HUNDRED

    ReplyDelete
  45. well I'll be quite sad if Scotland leave the union but I'm not sure why...like the disintegrating marriage of someone I don't know particularly well will I really care? Scotland's no more important to me than Rockall. Independance, since they insist on calling it independence, won't affect me in any way whatsoever economically or culturally and they're no good at footba. But I understand. One of the partners has a nasty habit of voting Tory so I'd fucking divorce them. The other party is ageing and has a a fried mars bar addiction. And yet.... man can not live on dwindling oil alone and I don't understand why you'd want to be anonymous and almost certainly poorer in the long run, some people would rather live in a skip and feel free I suppose.

    Go on Scotland do it! You may as well because he'll never forgive you now for threatening to leave.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Children will be fine, Salmond has a plan to deep fry them all in carbonate like Han Solo, and reawaken them once Scotland is better off than it is now, in 2568 AF (after ferguson, as the future will be measured).

      I think if the Scot's want to go all Braveheart and seek freedom from the empire, then good luck to them. I do however worry about an economy made up of whiskey, salmon and Billy Connolly DVD sales.

      Delete
  46. What about Nick Clegg though... (segway)

    Yeah i wrote this...

    http://thealdershotwoes.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/cleggism.html

    give it a ganders, or don't, whatever.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Argentine football has gone to the dogs. Absolutely full of crap.

    http://extramustard.si.com/2014/02/17/dog-defecates-soccer-field/

    ReplyDelete
  48. Do they need any brickies for Hadrian's Wall?

    ReplyDelete
  49. We were just saying here how di Michaelis looked like a bleeding liability.

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  50. Pellegrini falling into the referee was biased nonsense.

    City were outplayed,it was a free kick rather than a penalty,but only by a few inches.It took a slow mo replay to establish it was just outside the box.Obvious red card.Pique's goal was incorrectly ruled out for offside and Barcelona were by far the better team.

    It's become a running theme to blame the referee for defeat these days (Rodgers and Liverpool complaining about a 2nd penalty not being given,yet no mention of the 2nd yellow St Gernard should have been given)

    It would be nice,for once,for a manager to come out and say the opposition deserved the win.

    But I'm not holding my breath.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I'm right in saying that Barnsley Manager Wilson admitted that Doncaster should have had a penalty when one of their players was upended in the box right under ref D'urso's nose but that's as far as we get. Sam the Italian Eagle is always going to blame someone else (this time the ref) when he should be blaming himself for picking that walking disaster di Michaelis in the first place. Whenever he plays and Citeh concede a goal, di M. always seems to have had a hand in it.

      Spider

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    2. It's not the first time that I have mentioned this but Pelligrini is NOT Italian. I agree with eveything else.
      Rastafairy

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    3. Apologies Rastafairy, I should have said Sam the Chilean Eagle. Hope I've got it right this time!

      Spider

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  51. Won't happen jacks. Refs can be influenced. I saw that barca were complaining about this onebefore match. These top teams are so close and a there's a clear psychological aspect of elite sport that I managers probably rightly are scared they'll missthe chance of gaining any however slight advantage. Pellegrini and Moyes seem decent blokes who would rather do things the honest way but they're learning. The safs and the Merinhos of this world didn't get where they are today by not being conniving manipulative twats

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fair point, Blogs, although Pellegrini made a tw@t of himself last night. City played badly, showed Barca far too much respect, and let them play. The result was pretty inevitable.

      I've actually heard M***inho admit his team deserved to lose, although he was probably doing it for effect.


      Jedi

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  52. Not too smart from Pelligrini, even if he has got a point, blubbing about the ref in the press is always going to come back and bite you in the butt,

    He'll be in the stands at the Nou Camp.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Unlucky arsenal. Still need a top quality forward though.

    ReplyDelete
  54. yeah, hard luck Gooners but at least Wenger ain't whingin' about the ref!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ... instead, he blamed Robben and every other Bayern player for 'making more' of every contact ... I guess he suggested that Pep has taught the 'Barcelona style' to Bayern players already!

      Delete
    2. no, really? I find that hard to believe.

      Delete
  55. We were in the game until we were reduced to ten men but it was a red card offence so no complaints from me. 2-0 was a decent result in the end it could easily have been more.

    Once again I question a Wenger substitution, Rosicky for Chamberlain.. Chamberlain, for me was our best chance of sneaking a goal on the break. I thought Ozil, who defends like an arm-less knight, should have come off... Ozil's side of the pitch was where Barcelona, oops sorry, Bayern were causing us big, big problems.

    Bayern's play against ten men was perfect, they ran us ragged in the second half.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Ox was carrying a knock, that's why.

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    2. That may be true H2 but you wouldn't have known it from the blistering break he made down the right a short while before being substituted.

      Delete
    3. I thought at the time that it was the wrong decision too mate, but later the "fact" that he was carrying a knock, so was switched as a cautionary measure emerged.

      Delete
    4. Convenient that, H2. Avoids any questions like "little bit wrong-number-on-the-board-when-making-the-substitution niggle?" that could arise otherwise.


      Jedi

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  56. The game was over once the red card was shown, which was a shame because I thought we were pretty much in it. The penalty miss by Ozil did however knock us back a bit.

    Robben has always been a divey git and did what he does. Did he make the most of it, yes he did, but I'm not going to complain that an uber twat acted like a twat, that's him.

    Is it a penalty? Yes, definetly.

    However, the touch from Robben brings the ball too far away from him, he was never going to get it, so it is not a clear goalscoring opportunity, so not a red.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which is probably one of the reasons it was a definite penalty (if Robben couldn't get the ball, he'd make sure it was a penalty). Red card, away side wins 2-0. Getting a bit fed up with these repeats on TV (though I'd settle for it in Ukraine tonight!). Gooners' thin squad beginning to bite them on the arse? Giroud out, so there's a choice of Fat Nick or It (Sanogo). Not great, especially when your main creative player is having a hissy.


      Jedi

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    2. Also worth saying: in it? yes (it was 0-0). Even: probably not (Bayern had about 68% possession in the first half, even allowing for the Gooners' fast start). The turning point was Ozil's penalty miss. Bayern weren't troubled, and became more and more dominant, after that. At least, that's my opinion. RBA (below) may also be right (as usual).



      Jedi

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  57. I think the problem all began when the ref blew the whistle and arsenal were forced in to a game again superior opponents. this is something i have seen at nearly every match aldershot play, its ugly, and i want it kicked out of the game.


    http://thealdershotwoes.blogspot.co.uk/

    wrote some cack - blogs and jack will testify to its poorness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it went tits up when Luis Figo saved Bayern Munich for last out of the hat. Obviously a fix. I mean, 8 away teams and he saves them for last, I ask ya.

      Delete
  58. NEWS. David Moyes has been caught speeding on the M60. He told police he was desperate to clock up three points.

    I also tweeted this which shows how the boredom is starting to setup into my soul. I have a week off work you see to look after my kids during their half term break and we're all starting to hate each other.

    On the arsenal match you'd have to say the much better team won, and that was without their best player, old scar face. I think man city are a better team than arsenal but it was interesting how thanks to arsenes experience they went for it to begin with and might have been a couple of goals up.

    Yes rba.s blogs are crap and unfunny just like robbos and just like spinal tap and zoolander which are also not funny at all.

    ReplyDelete
  59. MLS Fantasy Football/Soccer
    http://fantasy.mlssoccer.com

    Private Classic: 8935-1592
    Private H2H: 8935-1593

    ReplyDelete
  60. Swansea look like the only British team to avoid defeat in European competition this week. Playing some really neat football at the moment.

    ReplyDelete
  61. http://www.wsc.co.uk/2012-07-09-10-11-16/11251-wojciech-szczesny-makes-his-feelings-known

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, the ol' international sign for tosser aimed either at the officials or, as I'd like to think, the tosspot supremo Arjan Robben.

      Although I may agree with the sentiment, it's still a foolish thing to do, he's a young lad, but he really should know better.

      Arsenal have said that they will deal with him internally (oo er) but he's probably looking at an extra punishment from UEFA to add to his mandatory one game ban. Given our record with Michel Pratinis disciplinary commitee I expect he'll be drawn and quarted within a week.

      Delete
  62. I like Kylie

    Anonymous makes his feelings known (just not his identity)

    ReplyDelete
  63. it's interesting innit. One blames the ref, another blames the opposition, another blames the pitch. Nobody blames themselves anymore!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's the jackson's fault, blaming it on the boogie all those years ago.

      Delete
    2. Just laughed out loud at the office. That is just too fuckin funnny.

      Delete
    3. Is that why Fulham are taking down the statue?

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    4. Shit....

      I thought that was Nani!!??!!

      Delete
  64. Ola compadres! Been down in Tasmania for three weeks, living rough in Van Diemens Land with no t'interweb. What I did find however, is an island that loves their chicken parma's. Must have eaten two dozen of the little taste sensations. Haven't seen any on any pub menu's up here on the mainland.

    Top quality blogging Robbo. Can't see Moyes lasting anymore - as I said when he was appointed; Champions League revenue is all Utd care about (and the coverage in places like Asia that it'll bring), so if Moyes puts that at risk, being Fergie's chosen one ain't going to mean shite.

    Anyhow, still not caught up with all that's gone on in the world of sport - only just realised that Fulham have sacked another of the 'he used to be Fergie's assistant, so he must be great' generation. I think a rather tenuous conclusion about how good a manager might actually be is the relative success of his assistants. For example; Fergie spawned the Fulham bloke, Queiroz, McClaren, Kidd - all shite. Mourinho's minions include Rodgers, Steve Clarke and AVB. An altogether higher class of manager. Not a huge amount of success yet, but still better managers.

    Rooney signs a new deal on 300k a week. Such loyalty from the granny-shagger.

    Rba, been reading your Woe's too - genius.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Noel.

      You haven't been away too long.

      Sp*rs have still got the same guy in charge. ;)

      Delete
    2. Feels like a long time - Arsenal were top of the league when I left ;)

      Delete
    3. That would of worked if you had said Spurs......

      But I don't think you're old enough to have been away that long. :P

      Delete
    4. welcome back from Tasmania, Noel. You little Devil. How are the pitch conditions down there?

      Delete
    5. Not good Trott, not good. They get their pitches imported from the Nowrich area of Norfolk, which are clearly inferior pitches.

      Delete
  65. http://supportersnotcustomers.com/2013/09/08/soldiers-should-get-footballers-wages/

    ReplyDelete
  66. Kind draw for England in the Euros.

    If they can't get out of that group then they might as well scrap the national team. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  67. They have to get out of this group to get to where the start used to be.

    Yes trots very dizzy, he thought he was on the M6 to Gretna

    ReplyDelete
  68. What days, its almost like a parallel universe. Liverpool winning despite being second best, henderson and allen best players.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. nothing can stop liverpool now!

      Delete
    2. Did I or did I not clearly ask you and yours to shut the fuck up till the seasons over ?

      Delete
    3. I think the bookies have stopped taking bets now on Liverpool finishing in the top 4.

      Delete
    4. Chuck Norris has been quoted as saying, "Even I couldn't stop Liverpool now."

      Delete
    5. Well, Noel, if Sherwood keeps playing Bentaleb while keeping Eriksen on the bench, I really have nothing to worry about.

      Delete

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