Monday 20 May 2013

Baling Out?

I spent the last weekend of Premier League fixtures with my arse firmly on the back of my seat. No squeaky bums. Not even a sweaty crotch. Unless you were part of the North London neighbourhood carve-up then the last day was of no consequence whatsoever.

Spurs and Arsenal managed to maintain their form until the end. The Gooners ground their way to a 1-0 in a manner that would have had George Graham oozing appreciation. Tottenham battered away all afternoon and in the end owed everything to yet another piece of ludicrous brilliance from Gareth Bale.

You can tell how good Bale is - and how confident - from his ridiculous new hairdo. Only a man whose authority is undeniable can sport a parting so severe it looks like it's been put there by a Samurai swordsman.

Wenger's men somehow toppled over the line having been 7 points adrift 10 games ago. Spurs really only have themselves to blame. And now they face the prospect of more Thursday nights out, toiling against all-comers from far-flung corners of Europe.  The Europa League might be good enough for Rafa Benitez, but you only have to look at the group stage team selections to know how seriously English clubs take it.

And the question is, will Gareth Bale want to be part of that? Because if he's on his way then Spurs need to pretty much start from scratch. Without Bale, Tottenham are Fulham. I can't quite remember a season where one man has single-handedly kept a team afloat. By Baling them out time after time.

Maybe Van Persie last year got close with Arsenal. In Ronaldo's glory season he made an enormous difference. But Bale has scored more winning goals from preposterously unlikely sources - many of them have been last ditch howitzers - that it seems unthinkable that Spurs could even make a top eight next season without him.

Across Europe there's not a man more wanted than Bale. Will AVB cash in and bring in the likes of Moutinho and a striker who is (a) less greedy than Defoe and (b) less lazy than Adebayor? (Ade's like some captive lion most days - you draw back the cage door and wait for him to spring and he just lies there licking his balls. More to the point, what sort of a masochist would want to inflict a Europa League campaign on himself when other clubs - including Arsenal - offer the Champions League?

So, Arsene has bought himself more time. Now he needs to buy himself some better players. Koscielny has probably been their best player in the last six weeks. Mertesacker has almost resembled a centre-half. Giroud hasn't looked quite so much of a journeyman. Cazorla, Arteta and a fit Wilshere promise a fine midfield - if he can keep hold of them all. And the gaffer has been promised shedloads for the summer.

Next season there has to be a trophy. So this close season is going to test him to the hilt. A new keeper - Begovic, Mignolet? A centre-back with authority? A new midfielder who can tackle? Another striker so that Gervinho doesn't become your only hope. Whatever he gets he must know by now that his tippy-tappy quotient has been reached. No more Rosicky clones.

As for the rest of the fixtures, well they were notable for a great raft of significant retirements, the most significant of which were Jamie Carragher's and Paul Scholes. Nothing endures in football quite like the respect for a  one-club footballer. Obviously, unless you're Steve Harper, you have to start at a top club in order to want to stay there for your whole career. (I'm joking, my Geordie chums).

When asked to appraise Carragher on Match of the Day, neither Hansen or Shearer mentioned Carragher's footballing skill and elegance. Of course not. It would be like celebrating Kenneth Williams's physical strength. His early days at Liverpool were marked by some traditional English full-back shanks into the crowd. What he's never been short of is nous. A bit of common or garden savvy. Liverpool were better when he played than when he didn't.

Scholesy's already had his valedictories here cos, like his manager, he retired once before. Just chuffed he got that last yellow card to go with al the others. But a wonderful footballer who was stupidly neglected by England managers when he was the best midfielder we had.

And finally there's Steve Harper. Not a bench-warmer in the new school of 'sit tight, play in the League Cup and pick up your massive wedge'. This bloke did understudy like no other. He may have escaped the attention of many but not the Toon Army. He was a bloody good keeper. And a fine and sentimental sole too as we found out in the 37th minute.

So with all these retirees, and with the managerial merry-go-round spinning so fast that most coaches are holding on to their rides by their fingertips, the close season promises a lot of intrigue. Chelsea, Everton, Manchester City - they'll all be unveiling new coaches - or in Chelsea's case, the old one. It's only ten weeks away - or summat like that.

Team of the year? Mignolet: Zabaleta, Ferdinand, Vertonghen, Baines; Mata, Cazorla, Carrick, Bale; Van Persie, Suarez.

Unheralded team of the year? Well this lot'll do for a start...

Mignolet: Martin, Boyce, Jagielka, Lowton; McManaman, Nolan, Coutinho, Mirallas; Michu, Benteke. (Honorable mentions to Lambert and Lukaku). Be good to hear who you think doesn't get the recognition they deserve.

Enjoy your rest, footy fans. In the meantime I'll be banging on about cricket, tennis and all that other stuff that sort of passes for sport. Up the Boro!








208 comments:

  1. Would have Guzan in either team ahead of Mignolet.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your team of the year Robbo, is that Anton or Rio Ferdinand?!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mr Wet Underpants '8920 May 2013 at 13:30

    All credit to the Arse for getting more points this season without van Pussy than they did with him last season, but you've got to feel a bit for Spurs, especially after qualifying last season but missing out 'cos the Chavs somehow fluked the Champions League (just like they fluked the Europa this year).
    Seems weird watching Arse celebrate 3rd/4th every year knowing that they'll just get outclassed in the last 16 of next season's Champions League by one of the big boys.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah being one of 2 or 3 teams to beat Bayen at home. Totally outclassed ;)

      Delete
    2. Mr Wet Underpants 198920 May 2013 at 21:48

      Get real Mr Nonymous.....Bayern were coasting at home to Arse. They had several more gears if they'd needed them.

      Delete
  4. Been a great season for sure. I would add Maloney as a man who did himself a bit of good this season too. Enjoyed the reads as ever and looking forward to the day Bale joins ManU also. Him and RVP will be a great team. Next season will see Chelsea ack to second ans Sunderland selling all their player cheap because they are very naughty boys. Where will it all end????

    ReplyDelete
  5. And I hope the edit function will wrk too lol

    ReplyDelete
  6. good stuff Robbo. You get Blogger of the year honours. The only good news about your cricket and tennis commentary, is that the sooner you get on with it, the sooner it'll be over.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't think Ryan Shawcross gets the credit he deserves......

    Although on a more serious note,Matthew Etherington has been superb the last 3/4 seasons on the left for Stoke.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Guzan and Le Fondre for unheralded TOTY

    ReplyDelete
  9. Aye, aye! Le Fondre definitely. He must be a bit of a knob though or he'd be starting every week, wouldn't he?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess Reading just weren't Le Fondre of him. Didn't he say he wanted out if he couldn't start regularly? Who in the PL would need him, other than maybe one of the promoted sides, who still probably wouldn't start him?

      Delete
    2. If Pavel Pogrebnyak is keeping you out of the starting line up, either you're shit or the coach hates you.

      Delete
  10. I second Trotts' nomination of Robbo for BOTY.

    Without Bale, Tottenham are Fulham, in that they might have to rely on Dembele and Dempsey supporting a maddeningly inconsistent striker? Tottenham do have better defenders and I'd argue their 'keepers are both better than what Fulham have available. Even so, they won't be in the top 8 without Bale.

    Also agree with LH that Guzan places ahead of Mignolet. Goodbye Guzan, Hello Championship.

    How many of those on "Team Unheralded" will find themselves elsewhere next season? At the very least McNamanan and Boyce, though they may end up with another side that gets relegated. And Lukaku, though he won't be with Chelsea yet. Schurrle Chelsea must have to drop Torres. Ba, they'll muck it up anyway.

    As for the "Team of the Year", only Bale moves on. Definitely hoping Abramovich swoops in. But more likely will be Bale to Real Madrid. Though could you imagine him with Barcelona? AVB certainly can, and it keeps him up at night.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Manager of the year - for me Chris Hughton. To finish 11th with the team he had at his disposal is just awesome. Paul Lambert in second place.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honestly, Rafa belongs up there somewhere, too. Not because of what he accomplished--any idiot could have done that with the talent he had at his disposal--but because he handled the situation much better than nearly anyone else probably would have. Next year we'll look back fondly on him as Mourinho wins us the league (in October), Mancini wins us the League Cup, Appleton wins us the FA Cup, and Mourinho returns to win the Champions League.

      Delete
  12. https://twitter.com/TimesSport/status/336485481829253122/photo/1

    How the PL would look if shots hitting the woodwork went in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow. Spurs and Liverpool really need to work on their shooting

      Delete
    2. I thought it might bring a little joy to AH to realise that his teams crap shooting cost them the CL place.

      Mind you,a couple of inches make all the difference.....

      Delete
    3. I always say - the post is off target. In fact, I think it says that somewhere in the rulebook :)

      Delete
    4. Much obliged Jacks. You are too kind.

      Delete
    5. Hm, Everton four points to the good, yet drop a place. Sounds like them...

      Delete
  13. http://footymemes.lockerdome.com/media/107781005

    Alex Song looking a dick.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What the hell was he even thinking? Do people even know who Alex Song is at Barca?

      Delete
  14. TOTY
    Jaskeleinen
    O'Brien, Cahill, Ricketts, Tierney
    Matty Taylor, Nolan, Wilshere, VazTe
    Sturridge, Lofthouse

    MOTY - Big Sam

    ReplyDelete
  15. What a day for Bells, Mourinnho is coming back to the Bridge.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yo, Spitster, wie gehts? it'll end in tears for Bells (not joyful ones).

      Delete
    2. Super.

      Hope you've been well too.

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  22. Would be a blessing if bale, mourinho & ronaldo end up at chelsea! BEAUTIFUL!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nooo!!

      Bale to stay at Spurs, get rid of Adebayor (as Robbo says), and maybe find a young defensive midfielder (for if Sandro's not fit).

      Looks like Mourinho's saved Roman a packet already by terminating his Madrid contract, although I reckon he'd have been sacked anyway. Spent a shed full and not won anything.


      Jedi

      Delete
    2. apart from the league last season and the copa del rey the year before

      Delete
    3. Fair point Anon: I meant to put this season - oops! The Atletico coach has won as many trophies in 18 months as Maureen has in 3 years, with much less cash to spend, so I'm still calling him a failure at Real.


      Jedi

      Delete
  23. Pulis leaving Stoke.

    I'm sure you'll all be upset with that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not upset with it, but I'll bet the Stoke fans will be when they get relegated in the next two years. Look at Charlton (Curbs) Bolton (Big Sam), Leicester (O'Neill when he was any good), Manyoo (Busby) Spurs (Billy Nick) etc

      Maybe the Gooners are right to stick with Wongeur until he goes utterly senile, and completely loses the plot (season after next, at present rate).


      Jedi

      Delete
  24. 1448:
    BREAKING NEWS
    Tony Pulis is to leave Stoke City after seven years in charge following talks with chairman Peter Coates this morning. The 55-year-old's departure is expected to be confirmed later today after Pulis was told the club felt the time was right to part ways after seven years under his leadership.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Amazing stat: with Fergie, Moyes & Pulis going, all the 91 other clubs in the league have changed a manager since Arsenal last won a trophy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that's an incredible stat. Now, let's see if all 91 clubs can get a trophy before the Gooners get one! At least they'll still have boat loads of cash, in fact, they could have an open top Securicor bus parade to show it to all the fans.

      Delete
    2. They could afford a solid gold bus as well.

      Just like they can afford a ball winning midfielder and decent centre forward.

      But for some reason they won't buy any of them.

      Delete
    3. They will but they have to be French, preferably under 20. The problem is since they won the world cup a lifetime ago, there have been hardly any french players worth buying... that hasn't stopped us signing them though

      Delete
    4. Newcastle have snapped up all the best prospects, Bo!

      Delete
    5. Yes Trott and look where they finished.

      Delete
    6. Bo, you forgot under 5ft tall.


      Jedi

      Delete
  26. Liverpool making a serious statement of intent by signing..............kolo toure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They've stated their intent to not be taken seriously.

      Delete
  27. One fan saw fit to buy 700 copies of West Brom's programme of their match with Manchester United, which included a 40-page tribute to the retiring Sir Alex Ferguson.

    Is toilet paper that expensive in the UK?

    ReplyDelete
  28. West Ham capture duo? Carroll knows the ropes there and Rat can chew through them.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22618340
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22619312

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Andy Carroll, healthy? Illuminating? He's alwys injured and thick as two short planks. I categorically disagree Anon.

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  30. It's actually fairly amusing to read the bot's comments in relation to the previous one, i.e. Stephen's NoDuh comment, followed by the bot, "Its like you read my mind!"

    That "its" is the bot's bad grammar, not mine...

    ReplyDelete
  31. I'd also like to thank Robbo for his entertaining blogs this season, especially the abundance he's provided us at the close. No coasting to the finish line for this lad! Can a podcast with Mr. A. Smart be hoped for? I'm dying to know how Farnborough made out this year...

    ReplyDelete
  32. I fear Mr Smart is overseas temporarily but I will get him on the blower and check his availability. Might have to do a separate Farnborough special mind you - on second thoughts...

    ReplyDelete
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  34. Some penalty awards are extremely controversial. Then there are others:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wehDZxGaUqQ

    ReplyDelete
  35. How about a Norman Smurthwaite Special Codpast, Robbo?

    Pulis leaving is the right move. i never hated him, jacks, i think he's a decent bloke with good values. the stats for the team though, passes, long balls, shots on goal etc are a horror show though. he's paid big time for buying a brace of costly but duff strikers in jones and crouch; he could have expected them to do better. even so; horrible team to watch so gus poyet, rather than the ferretty rdm would be a good appointment. or rafa hahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  36. cheer yourself up with the goal at 4.40 that seals man u's relegation.

    fergie time wasnt possible in those days due to the scale of the pitch invasions. amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  37. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVPfd8UurkQ

    there

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or the first 10 seconds of this one Blogidy.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s08GSiQkGMs

      Delete
    2. beautiful. should have stopped watching there tho

      Delete
    3. wow, that was Scholes debut. Can't believe you haven't mentioned that since he announced his (latest) retirement, Blog.

      Delete
  38. He has spent quite a lot of money over the years.

    They are,however,prudently run with a decent chairman and noisy fans.The potential is there for Stoke to be a top 10 team.

    Rafa wouldn't be a bad shout.He is a very good manager.He managed to break the duopoly of Spain (rigged thanks to stupid TV payments) and has done well at Liverpool and Chelsea.

    Strange how people get labelled and it sticks.Look at Redknapp and Mourinho.The things these two have done in management are a disgrace,yet they get away with it because the meeja love them,whereas Rafa was never popular with the press so is often labelled in unflattering terms.

    ReplyDelete
  39. wtf, Man City and the Yankees starting an MLS team? I can't support New York City F.C. and I can't go to any more Yankee games.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dont worry, Becks will probably start a Camden FC that you and I can both support.

      Delete
    2. Nah, Becks would do well with the New Hope Wanderers.

      Delete
  40. A Good Afternoon to you all.

    So, once again, against all odds and against all the so called expert opinions, Arsenal "topple" over the line for the 16th consecutive season. What looked impossible after a defeat at the brown and sticky end of the Sevensisters Rd and with ten games to go, became increasingly inevitable as the season wound down.

    Unlike in other seasons though, the Tiny Totts refused to lay down and die, their annual March/April implosion did not come and to be perfectly honest I don't really see how they could have done more. Yes Bale went above and beyond the call, but that's what talisman and star players do, and even as a gunner I have to admit that that guy is a star, what a player!!! He was their shining light, but to say that they wouldn';t be were they were without him is tantamount to saying that Utd wouldn't of won the league without van Persie (make of that what you will).

    Ofcourse if he left Sp*rs they would miss him, he would leave a gap departing any team, but it wouldn't necassarily mean the end of them (unfortunatly ;p ) We were told last year that we wouldn't recover from losing RvP, but here we are 12 months later, still in the Top 4, having amassed more points then last year and scoring almost as many goals. RvP was a thirty goal striker, that's almost impossible to replace, but instead of one target man, we spread the goals around. Theo netting 21, Santi getting 12 from midfield (a great achievement), a half fit Podolski managed a respectable 16 and "journeyman" Giroud grabbed 17, that's seventeen goals in his first season in the PL/CL, think about him what you will, but that's a better return then the likes of Drogba and Henry managed in their maiden seasons.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As you may or may not of realised three of those four goal getters were making their debuets in the English game this season, it was always going to take time for that team to gel and they struggled in the first half of the season, throwing away any realistic chance of the title before Christmas, but they managed to keep in touch of the chasing pack.The turn around came after a disaterous exit to Blackburn in the FA Cup, a home humilition by Bayern in the CL and the aforemention defeat at WHL. Wenger took a good hard look at the team tactics and decided that maybe shooting ourselves in the foot wasn’t the best way of having a pedicure and took steps to tighten up at the back, defending was no longer just the duty of the back four, Arteta dropped deeper and was joined by (not everybodies cup of tea) Aaron Ramsey, like it or not, the results speak for themseves.

      The last ten games saw us "topple" over the line on an unbeaten run, taking 26 from a possible 30 points, winning five games away, keeping five clean sheets in the process, conceeding an average of 0.5 goals a game and ending with the second tightest defence in the league, which buys Arsene another year

      You think? Really? So we're not going to get rid of one of the best managers in the PL era just because a few tosspots keep churning out the ?? years without a trophy mantra. Phew, I was getting worried there.

      Wenger can be annoying as fuck, but I don't think he gets the respect he deserves, what he has achieved at Arsenal over the last few years is nothing short of a miricle. A stadium has been built, debts have been managed and qualification for the CL has been obtained on a net spend of 9mill over the last 10 years, in this day and age that's like turning Pepsi into Coca Cola Light, it's a complete Midas touch. Look what those above us have shelled out to get to the CL, fuck that, look what QPR paid just to get relegated.

      Not for nothing that the most successful club in the PL had the longest serving manager. The PL management merry go round has become beyond ridiculous, Brendan Rogers is the fifth longest serving manager in the PL and he's more then a week shy of being there for a year. In fact, if you take out Pardew, then Wengers tenure has been longer then all the rest combined.... tell me that that's not ludicrous!?

      Delete
  41. As for Pulis. My only regret is that he didn't get relegated with his anti football rubbish.

    Not that I wanted Stoke the club to go down, because finally the fans had started to wise up to the fact that they were being served up dross week in and week out and Stoke is a well run club with a good chairman who really cares for the team.

    I just didn't like him. The awful tactics, the negative way he set up his teams, the hipocracy (although that's a trait of most managers), but worse of all the way he tried to convince all and sundry that this was the only way that Stoke could play due to financial restrictions, bullshit ofcourse, it was the only way he knew how to play.

    Good ridance and good luck to the Potters next season, I hope you get to enjoy the game the rest of us call football.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Wenger's a genius for doing what he's done with top 4 every year and carrying out the shareholders profit objectives.

    RIP Mick McManus.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That whole profit lark is a media myth. None of the current shareholders have taken a penny out of the club, it's all been reinvested in the infrastructure and to help pay off the stadium debt.

      The "warchest" is like an 18 year old hot lass virgin, supposedly it's there, but where?

      Delete
    2. And indeed.

      RIP Mick McManus.

      Wrestling legend.

      Delete
    3. that was entertainment to watch ITV on a Sat sfternoon with KW
      Jackie Pallo, Billy Two Rivers, Les Kellet, Brian Glover and many others

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  43. Agree with Jacks.

    Rafa is a very good manager, yes we've taken the piss in the past, but hey, that's what we do.

    Like I said in a previous blog, any other team would of bent over backwards to try and keep him after what he pulled off this year, but the Chavs will let him walk and crazily enough some will be glad to see the back of him,

    Rafa won't care though, he can write his own ticket now, I can't see him staying in England though, I'm sure a top European outfit will come in for him sooner or later, but it would be interesting to see what happens if a PL club offer him a position on a proper contract.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm, my thoughts on Rafa are centered on the lack of anyone coming through from within L'pools ranks while he was manager - he bought in his entire team and not a few very good young prospects moved to other clubs. Putting a good first team out and getting wins is only one aspect of being a manager in the EPL - you have to look to build a club as well. This is City's problem at the moment (maybe even Chelski) whereas Wenger, Moyes and Ferguson are noticeably different.

      Rafa had a good long time at Anfield and won some cups, but few friends.

      Delete
    2. Can't really disagree with that,I remember at the time making quite a point of it to L'pool fans, who mostly defended him to the hilt. But, that said, L'pool have been in the desendcy since he left, but do seem to be investing more in their infrastructure (youth and ladies teams) now.

      Time will tell.

      Delete
  44. Replies
    1. He was only young too - anyone know what he died of?

      Delete
    2. No details given, other than suddenly

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22631540

      Delete
  45. typical FCB, sign Gotze on the day of the semifinal return leg(to deflect Uli's tax story) then smash him up in the penultimate BL game, now out of final, BVB will struggle, but I hope not

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gotze was injured against Real Madrid in the secong leg of the semi-final, not against Bayern.
      Shite news though....not so hopeful of collecting on my pre-tournament 40/1 wager on BVB now.

      Delete
    2. Sorry TK you are right, I just dont like the Muncheners

      Delete
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  47. no Bells eh? Must be difficult to type with your fingers crossed.

    ReplyDelete
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  50. I am here Trotts - and am indeed waiting for the return of Jose Phwoarinho

    was going to come on yesterday but then saw about that awful attack on soldier in London and it just didn't feel right to be my usual flippant self

    ReplyDelete
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  52. Newcastle are refusing to pay 15£ million for carroll which is funny, given what they sold him for

    "15£ million? he's not worth that!"

    business men, eh?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Andy Carroll could be out until August with heel injury
      ------------------------

      Well, he's only fit for about half the time he used to be while at Newcastle.

      Delete
  53. Trotts.

    http://www.wsc.co.uk/wsc-daily/1162-may-2013/9830-2012-13-season-in-review-bolton-wanderers

    ReplyDelete
  54. thanks Jacks, that about sums it up. All we know is that all is unknown!

    ReplyDelete
  55. And a pre season friendly agst the Millers to look forward to

    ReplyDelete
  56. Europa League winners to enter Champions League

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22640095

    Still wish there was some way to get the smaller clubs further into the competition, instead of using it as a second chance for underachieving big clubs. Not that I have a problem with winning it, of course...

    ReplyDelete
  57. Even if you're no fan of Lawrom his predictions are reasonably accurate in the long run. Methinks we'll need a predictor competition next season...

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22596125

    ReplyDelete
  58. Mark Hughes a leading candidate for Stoke job. Out of the frying pan.....

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22649939

    Seriously, how is this bloke still considered for jobs?

    ReplyDelete
  59. Pulis to Hughes does seem a natural progression.... baton passes from one loser to another. I'll make an early prediction... if Hughes takes over at Stoke, he'll be the first manager sacked next season. If Stoke stick with him my alternate prediction... Stoke will be relegated next season. However, I don't think the Stoke board would seriously consider appointing Hughes, even though they stuck with Pulis for seven years. I would be surprised if Hughes is appointed by any PL club in the foreseeable future.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  61. Football withdrawal symptoms.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you should set up a phone Helpline Bloggy - I, for one, would pay a lot of money to hear your advice :)

      Delete
  62. "Dad?"

    "Yes Kathryn?"

    "Why did we sack Tony Pullis?"

    "Well,the board felt he'd taken Stoke as far as he could.They felt a new manager would give them a change of direction."

    "I see,and Mark Hughes will he be the new manager?"

    "Possibly,yes."

    "So we'll be playing Ipswich soon then Dad?"

    "Why,do you think we'll get promoted Kathryn?"

    "No Dad,I don't."

    ReplyDelete
  63. She is very perceptive Jack and I agree with her as my previous comment suggests... Kathryn states it with a more subtle eloquence.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Loving that exchange. Your daughter is obviously very intelligent.

    ReplyDelete
  65. the evidence suggests that Sparky would be a dumb choice but I'm thnking that he got about 30 years experience in the last 4 years and if there's ever a good time to hire him this is it. If his next job doesn't work out it really will be time to pursue an alternative career.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Ha ha, excelent Jacks.

    Sparky to Stoke?

    I don't think any futher comment from me is necassary.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Gibraltar has been accepted as a full member membership of Uefa, European football's governing body.

    Will Bale be eligable to play for them?

    ReplyDelete
  68. Yep him and all the other Barbary macaques

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Barbary Macaques?

      He's from one of those El Liga clubs.. innit!?

      Delete
  69. Happy Whitsun Weekend everyone - hope it is a drink fuelled debauched one, no change for some of you ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whitsun and Pentecost (Pinksteren in Dutch) was last week over here 'Bells.

      Delete
    2. Sorry H2 - Happy not-Whitsun-or-Pinksteren weekend to you, no need to wish you a drunk and debauched one :)

      Delete
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    ReplyDelete
  71. Spambot was spot-on after that last exchange.

    ReplyDelete
  72. With Gibralta's acceptance into Uefa, will Spain carry out it's threat to withdraw all it's teams from EUFA competitions?

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  74. Here's a funny thing...if Jupp Heynckes wins with bayern both euro cups will have been won by interim managers, given that jupp has known that pep its taking over for a while.

    ReplyDelete
  75. If mourinho buys modric they'll have a midfield that looks more like the Chelsea flower show.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. where the pensioners get most of the publicity.

      Delete
  76. G'mornin Blog, up and at em here, today's the day that the pissin rain ends and we can get off this fuckin ark.

    2-1 Dortmund.

    ReplyDelete
  77. Now we see if US fans are anymore tolerant than UK fans.

    http://tracking.si.com/2013/05/24/robbie-rogers-returning-mls/?sct=hp_t2_a5&eref=sihp

    ---

    On a totally different note, I just played four hours of cricket (on an artificial football pitch) last night as the token white guy. Took three catches (no drops) and scored a handful of runs, though I know they were going easy on me. Not bad for my first time, but I'm rather sore this morning, pitifully enough.

    ---

    3-1 Bayern. Or not.

    ReplyDelete
  78. I'm just back from France trot and it pissed it down incessantly

    Sorry to see bayern win. Daylight Robbenry. Daylight Ribbery.

    News. Bayern in for tom Daley

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. exactly! I said the same thing to a Paraguyan bloke at the farm and although he doesn't speak a word of English, he agreed wholeheartedly.

      Delete
  79. it was a good open and entertaining game though, well done to both teams for playing that way. Could have been Bolton v Barca out there today.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Not a bad match, even if it would have been nice for Bayern to lose.

    Now watching a replay of the first leg of the Liga MX (Mexico) playoff final. Never mind the slightly odd league structure. If there's one thing this league has right, it is using that disappearing spray to mark off distances on free kicks. Why hasn't this caught on?

    ReplyDelete
  81. Neymar to Barca.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22671734

    ReplyDelete
  82. Bayern triumph proves German dominance

    'A scintillating final shows how the Bundesliga has eclipsed the Premier League, says chief football writer Phil McNulty'

    Wait... Wasn't it an all German final?

    ReplyDelete
  83. Wayne Rooney's newborn son Klay named in honour of his dad.

    Thick and difficult to work with.  

    ReplyDelete
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  85. You have to love the BBC: "Arsenal midfielder Arsene Wenger has admitted his interest in signing Lyon's 22-year-old midfielder Clement Grenier."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. After the way our midfield performed last season, I just assumed Wenger was taking on the role of player manager next season.

      Delete
  86. Zola or Holloway... no fucking contest.... GO WATFORD.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Holloway2ThePL.

    Bo will be pleased.

    ReplyDelete
  88. Not sure how that would of worked out had Watford got promotion. They had 7 (seven) loan players on the pitch. The League have changed the rules for next season, plus that transfer emargo they have until September.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. and it'll be pure entertainment to have Holloway back in the prem.

      Delete
    2. Absolutely. Can't wait for them although they will probably go down (as will Stoke if they appoint Mark Hughes). Question is who will be the 3rd. Probably Hull but could end up being Southampton. Think the 2 North east clubs will do better and Norwich will probably improve as well. Will be really tight next season I think at both ends of the table

      Delete
  89. Well done Ian H.

    Konnolsky in memoriam...funny guy

    http://konnolsky.tumblr.com/post/5356055927/bbc-archive-selections

    ReplyDelete
  90. Looks like Rafa lands on his feet.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22684637

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy for him. For his sake, I hope he manages to do reasonably well and maintain a low profile.

      Delete
    2. Napoli, semi big club, with a decent enough European pedigree. Finishing second in Serie A also guarentees them CL footy next terrm.

      With all due respect, I knew he wouldn't hang around in Blighty to be at Everton or Stoke.

      Delete
    3. Indeed not. Also given where Inter finished this season he'll enjoy being in the Champions League when they aren't

      Delete
  91. Fucking hell, another season of Holloway. I hope Palace have a horror start to next season and Palace sack the prick after 2 months. At least the Mirror will appreciate the increase in sales.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. what happened Bo? Did he nick yer chips?

      Delete
    2. He's just a dickhead Trott. The best part of him was destroyed when they threw out the afterbirth.

      Delete
  92. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Replies
    1. Extremely funny and spot on too. I had recounted a few of the the american commentators comments on Fox here on an earlier blog, my favourite being the one about Mata 'quarterbackin' really well.

      Delete
    2. I tread that yesterday and thought... why the big fuss? Let them do it their own way, we certainly do.

      To tell the truth, I think the standard of commentry in England has plumeted, sometimes I get the twats from Sky on my sports channel, O dear, terrible, I actualy prefer the Dutch guys.

      Delete
    3. I've been complaining about this for years. Never even been to the UK and can't stand the American commentators. The best of them on either side of the pond allow the game to speak for itself instead of narrating and analyzing everything to death.

      Delete
  94. Roberto Martinez has resigned.

    Everton's new manager?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. looks like it.after years of being unable to dislike Moyes, they get in an even more likeable manager. Wonder what he'll do with the 25 mil he get for Fellaini. I dont think Wigan have spent that much in the past 3 seasons put together.

      Delete
  95. I'd prefer a dutch guy, speaking Italian with a Chinese accent than the bollocks we get on Fox soccer channel.

    Eh up Bo, reply button not working but I'm very sorry you feel that way about Holloway, I'll now have to hope he gets the Arsenal job when Wenger hangs up his onions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hang in there Trotts..its going to be NBC from next season (I think).

      Delete
    2. a dutch guy, speaking Italian with a Chinese accent

      Marco van Basching.

      Delete
    3. NBC it is. Everything else on BeINSport or whatever. Here's to hoping I can get either online and they don't "soccer" it up.

      Delete
    4. and it's gonna be better on NBC?

      Delete
    5. Well it can only be better can't it. As long as I dont have to see Joey Barton every week, it has to be an improvement.

      Delete
    6. Have they announced a studio and commentary line-up?

      Delete
    7. I shoudl've said Warren Barton of course, but I'm equally happy not to have to see Joey every week either.

      Delete
    8. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  96. As for those who will present the coverage, the network officially announced that Arlo White will be the lead play-by-play voice, confirming last week's report from the EPL Talk website. White has spent the last two years as the lead play-by-play voice for NBC's MLS coverage and will relocate back to the U.K. to call matches on site for NBC Sports. Lee Dixon and Graeme Le Saux, both former England national team members and EPL veterans, will split time as White's game analysts. Both have worked for BBC as color commentators. NBC said it will use the world feed on games not involving its announced staffers.
    As first reported by SI.com last month, Rebecca Lowe has been named the network's lead studio host. After concluding her Premier League and FA Cup duties with ESPN UK in May, she will relocate to the U.S. this summer. She'll be joined in the studio by former Jamaican National Robbie Earle and former English footballer Robbie Mustoe. That group will broadcast from NBC Sports Group's new International Broadcast Center in Stamford, Ct. Well-known BBC presenter and former England national star Gary Lineker will serve as a special contributor for the coverage. He will occasionally host on-site studio coverage in the U.K while continuing to host Match of the Day on BBC.


    Read More: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/soccer/news/20130416/english-premier-league-nbc-tv-coverage/#ixzz2UcktjHqX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Robbie Earle and Robbie Mustoe weren't too bad on ESPN - they just always got shouted down by Tommy Smythe talking shit. So I never got to see how much knowledge they had as they only ever got about 5 words out before some Irish twat took over.

      Delete
    2. they're alright. I don't like it when we have a commentator that's trying to explain the game as if he's sitting with his 3 year old at their first ever match and that's how the Yank commentators tend to do it. I'm sure it's in their brief to do so as they're being expected to educate a nation. Be better if they just shut the fuck up.

      Delete
    3. Gary Lineker and Lee Dixon are decent calls but the others are dreadful - Robbie Earl was awful when he worked for ITV - mind you could be worse you could be getting Andy Townsend, Niall Quinn and Dave Proven those 3 are awful.

      Of course it could be better and you could get Richard Keys and Andy Gray to do it

      Delete
  97. I like the idea of a 'colors commentator'...

    -Well what a lovely shade of blue the Chelsea kit is this year.

    -That's nothing, Lee, can we move the cameras over to row Z?, there's a young lady up there with a terrific pair of fluorescent pink socks, really nice to see.

    -Ooooo! Must ask her where she got them from

    ReplyDelete
  98. They should employ my mate mat he's fucking hilarious

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. A colour commentater called Mat.......

      Surely they'd want someone with a bit more Gloss....

      I'd suggest Martin Sheen.

      Delete
  99. For those of you, like me, who were wondering why a player so sought after, according to the meeja, by so many of the world's top clubs could end up at Monaco.

    Falcao's story;

    http://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1e8ncw/explaining_the_falcao_move_to_monaco/?sort=old

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow..thats all I can say on reading that.

      Delete
  100. Roberto Martinez is ready to take over as manager of Everton and wants to bring in some of the players that helped Wigan win the FA Cup with him.
    Full story: Daily Mirror


    The same players that helped Wigan get relegated too.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Get ready Sp*rs fans, silly season is about to begin regarding Galen, with his agent throwing his caap into the ring;

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22702910

    Not a day will go by without someone linking him with a move away, it won't matter if it's true or not, the seeds of doubt have been sewn.

    Even if you do manage to persuade him to stay, the meedja still won't let it go, like a dog with a bone they'll keep gnawing at it. Gooners will know how you feel, we had it with Cesc, Henry and Viera for years. The RvP thing was nothing compared to the other three.

    It sucks, but it's all part of the game, I suppose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In that article there was a reference to the Neymar to Barca transfer and the sum of £50m.

      The first time I saw Neymar, a few years ago, playing for a young Brazil side, he was already being hyped as the next best thing. I remember that everytime he touched the ball, a big girly scream would eminate from the stands, a kind of Beatlemania-esque squeal. He made a couple of fancy flicks and he had a stupid looking hairstyle.

      Now a few years on, I’ve seen him a number of times, I saw him play well once, when he linked up with a guy called Fred, who I thought was a much better prospect. The other times was pretty much meh, yes he still did some fancy flicks and the ridiculousness of his barnet had in no way diminished, but if he’s a “worldclass” player then I just can’t see it.

      Can anyone please enlighten me?

      Delete
    2. Same way the media want Rooney out of Man Utd - the papers go out of their way to create these stories so they can sell copies

      Delete
  102. Statues of former Chelsea manager Rafael Benitez have been made in the Italian city of Naples following his appointment as manager of Napoli.
    -----------------------------------------
    Well, that's slightly different from how he was received at Chelsea then.

    While I always wished nothing but the best for Rafa, surely a bit premature to be making statues of him already.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you will find AH, Chelsea fans did actually have statues made of R*f* - and very generously they also came with a free box of pins ...

      Delete
    2. I bet they used that statue of René from the last episode of 'Allo 'Allo.

      Delete
    3. Funny you should say that H2, mine came with a painting of the Fallen Madonna with the big boobies hidden in its arm

      Delete
    4. Well, I was just pissing outside the door..........


      I really should drink less. ;)

      Delete
  103. fuck, here comes the "load more" button.

    ReplyDelete

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