Wednesday 21 November 2012

Roman Ruins


Rumours of Mark Hughes’s demise at QPR have been exaggerated. So are accusations that Lord McAlpine is to take over. Tony Fernandes’s votes of confidence are anything but confident, and QPR have made the worst Premier League start to a season since 1995.

This is dismal stuff and it’s not like the R’s came up, as have so many recently, with a workmanlike bunch of triers who might graft out a couple of results and hang on to the precipice. No sooner are they up but Sparky starts splashing around the cash like Donald Trump at a Tea Party convention.

You look at his acquisitions and apart from the shit-off-a-shovel pace of Junior Hoillet, he’s bought nowt. Jose Bosingwa has all the defensive abilities of a spineless hedgehog. Ryan Nelsen is a worthy but weary veteran. There are ten others who are barely worth a mention but who all suggest that the Loftus Road Chief Scout is not so much Akela but a lowly ranked seconder who wouldn’t know a necker from a woggle.

Players who have worked with Hughes insist he is a top manager. I don’t see it meself. Since he left a relatively successful stint with Wales his only marginal successes have been with Blackburn Rovers – and they were what commentators euphemistically call ‘a physical side’ (they kicked fucking lumps out of you).

The sacking at Man City seems to have indelibly hacked a chip in Sparky’s shoulder and he’s not exactly renowned for his loyalty. Then again he is represented by Kia Joorabchian, an agent for change, as it were. It’s unlikely that Kia would be encouraging a graceful exit when there’s more cash to be made from a sacking. That’s if Rafa Benitez’s benchmark millions from his departures from Liverpool and Inter are anything to go by.

Of course Benitez’s bank manager is supposedly warming his hands on some Russian gas-fired millions this morning after the announcement of Roberto di Matteo’s excision. Ironic that a lucky one-off Champs League winner might replace the other.

It must be a special kind of hell working for Roman Abramovich.

“Secretary! There is minor spelling mistake in email to ex-Missus! You are fired!” “Groundsman! Why this blade of grass 2mm longer than rest of blades? Are you try to make us lose? You are fired!” It must be hard for Roman to look himself in the mirror and not say “Nine managers in nine years. You are shit owner with no faith in own decisions. You are fired!”

Then again, they all sound a bit logical to me. There’s every chance that Roman will hire Benitez and sack him later in the afternoon so that he can say he is “first man ever to sack two Champs League winners in same day!”

So Chelsea have been a bit ropy recently. It’s no coincidence when Lampard, Terry and Drogba haven’t been around. For the first dozen matches, the likes of Hazard, Oscar and Mata were marvellous, and if Roberto can’t fathom out what’s happened to the errant Torres then he’s not the first, is he?

Torres continues to spurn easy opportunities like an anorexic at an all-you-can-eat buffet and it’s no surprise that Di Matteo left him out at Juve. Villas-Boas’ appointment last year seemed to point to the end of an ageing generation of mighty servants of the club, only the ageing generation weren’t having it. Now, when Di Matteo has no choice but to play the new breeds, Abramovich chucks him into the queue outside Loftus Road like he’s a trampled copy of Metro. The decision-making at the club has, for a long time now, been based on the owner playing ‘eeni-meeni-miney-mo’. (But let’s not extend that playground rhyme as Chelsea have had quite enough of that sort of thing in the past year or so.)

The spectre hanging over all of this is one Pep Guardiola. Never has a one-year career break been so lasciviously analysed. Even then, you’d think an interim manager for six months would be a pretty potty idea. John Terry as player manager has been floated which isn’t as daft as it sounds given that he already thinks that’s what he is.

Anyway would Guardiola be given the time to nurture a side into something that might mirror Barca? Would Pep pop over to pip others for the signature of, say, a Messi? Preposterous, maybe, but then there is nothing about Abramovich that fits into the normal scheme of things.

In the meantime, interim suggestions include: Sven-Goran Eriksson (lock up your daughters); Benitez (lock up your Rioja); Rijkaard (dreadlock up your Dutchman); Avram Grant (Return of the Dead-Eye); Harry Redknapp (quids in and it keeps his S); Mitt ‘g’is a job’ Romney; Danny Baker (he’d take ‘em down quicker than a whore’s knickers); and my mate Tony Thompson who reckons it takes the intelligence of one of them elephant’s that can do a painting to run that club.

“All you need is a marigold glove and enough KY to grease it and Roman’ll do the rest” he says. It’s not a nice image, but I think he’s right.

118 comments:

  1. Absolute madness, but nothing about that club surprises me. Thankful that my club's owners (man city) seem, like the very model of restraint. No manager who values their reputation would take that job, so Steve Kean or Sparky it is then.

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  2. Great stuff Robbo. I liked the pep, pop and pip bit best, backed up with Pep and preposterous, genius! You could have squeezed a pup in there too but a pap would have left an ugly smear on the whole piece.

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  3. roman's a roué of the potentialities, he likes the play of possibilities unhindered by the responsibility of concrete choice, like an octagenarian he prefers the abstract fantasy of infinite football power over commitment to a long term plan that he doesnt really believe in for obvious reasons and no one on the sharp end seems to mind much because their choice is between the cushioned landing of a massive payoff and polonium-210 on their cornflakes . im just glad im not a chelsea fan, because its all getting a bit degenerate but is it my turn to be their manager yet?

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  4. Good stuff Robbo.

    I put this on the previous at the same time your new effort appeared, excuses to those who have already read it (and to those who are about to);

    I understand this want of Guadiola but it all reeks of the Emperors New clothes.

    There is no denying that Pep did very well at Barca, but with the players at his disposal it would be hard not to. Let's not forget he lost the La Liga and CL crown's in his last season. He had been at Barca for donkeys' and knew the club and all the players inside out, his success had been built on a formula that the club had adopted years before his appointment as head coach and is still being implementing today. I believe their new manager isn't doing too badly, is he?

    As for Chelsea, RA's previous appointment was also a manager that had done remarkably well, a young man that had taken his team unbeaten to a title and picked up an European and domestic cup in the same season. That didn't stop him getting the boot at Stamford Bridge less then a year later though did it?

    But when all's said and done the simple fact remains that RA is the boss, lord of the manor, head Sith of the Empire and he calls the shots. He's made it abundantly clear now that his decisions are not for the good of football or CFC, which is obviously to him simply a plaything. No, no, no, little chavovites, don't get suckered in to thinking he gives a prolaterians arse about you, it's all about feeding his overinflated ego, nothing more nothing less. I'm surprised he hasn't tried to change the name to RomanAbramovichFC, maybe it's because everyone would presume that the FC didn't stand for Football Club anymore, rather F**king C**t.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. forking clot? flaking clit? folking cast?

      Delete
    2. Funking Copt; new manager, Stinky Cynky, any one of the Pope Cyrils of the Coptic Church. I'll plump for Cyril IV, who according to Wikipedia (where AbramohreallyIwishyou'dstopthisnonsense gets his leads for manager) was the "father of reform" of the Coptic Church in modern times. Or Cyril III, who sold ranks within the church, something Abramovitchoneofyouismynextmanager could appreciate. Though Cyril I was called "monster, born and educated for the destruction of the church." Now there's a line AbramoseriouslyI'verunoutofevenvaguelyfunnyideas could get behind.

      Delete
    3. dont eat your cornflakes tomorrow morning... or drink your tea... in fact, H2H, a comment every 30 mins just to let us know you're ok!

      rs

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  5. I think all of us lifelong fans of CFC would like to say a huge thank you to Roberto Di Matteo, not only for Champions League success, but also, what was at the time, the earliest scored FA Cup Final goal.

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  6. Maybe he was just practicing for the Russian version of the apprentice and just as he was perfecting his Alan Sugar moment - RDM walked in ubexpectedly, took it to heart and Roman was too proud to admit his mistake.

    Either that or he thought they'd lose on Sunday and recent results have been rubbish

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  7. Well said as always, Robbo, though rumor has it you are leaving us for the temporary Chelsea stewardship until Pep can take over. Pep is waiting until the end of the season so he can't be fired as quickly for not winning the Champs League. He'll bring in Messi, Xavi, Iniesta, Pique, Busquets, Alba, Alexis, Muniesa, and the entire youth system. Chelsea will play a 4-6-0. Perhaps a 3-6-1 if Villas join. (Both David and Aston.)

    Further scuttlebutt suggests that if these moves fail, Roman plans to buy out the contract of every manager so he can rotate them through. Win and you stay on, lose or draw and you are fired. Written into the contracts will be a refusal to allow said managers to manage any other side, ever. Roman will also pay to change UEFA's coaching license system so that any manager who achieves any level of licensure will be unavailable to manage any club other than Chelsea, thus rendering all other clubs managerless.

    I can't wait until financial fair play hits... Roman might have to stop firing managers to save money!

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  8. I see the current plan is for Rafa to be appointed as "short term Chelski manager". Does anyone know the difference between "short term Chelski manager" and "Chelski manager"?


    Jedi

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    1. Just saw that Jedi, they used the term "stop gap"", I almost pissed myself.

      The Bus stop gap.

      Delete
    2. To be fair, Rafa would stop up any gap.

      I think I've worked out the answer H2. Size of payout when fired. We all know RA wants Pep. What I can't work out is why Pep would want to work for an owner with RA's record. I'm sure he pays well, but surely Pep's got enough dosh from his time at Barca?


      Jedi

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  9. Who would have thought that one of the first managerial casualties would be the Chelsea manager. RA is a mercenary, and those are the only tactics he knows -- hire mercenaries for a quick raid on trophies.

    Then you get AR turning up for unplanned meetings with the players either after a match or at the training ground -- what's that all about? You never hear of such things happening at OT, and can't instil much confidence in management staff. Didn't Chelsea's bad run start after AR turned up for training?

    No club is big enough or dominant enough to win trebles every year, and there is always the element of luck involved in football management -- even SAF has had his fair share of it.

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  10. RDM can hold his head high. He has won two trophies, enhanced his reputation, and earned a SHED-LOAD of money.

    AR once again gives the air of someone who hasn't got a clue what he is doing, and Chelsea will probably end up trophyless this season.

    Who is the real loser in all this? The Chelski supporters. Are we bovvered? Do I look bovvered? I aint bovvered.

    Camel

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    Replies
    1. But you is bovvered mate, is it.

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    2. I think the word is "innit" innit?

      Camel

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    3. No, it's is it (Catherine Tate style)

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  11. Well, I was going to put forward the question: 'Who out there is crazy enough to take the job on given the caliber of managers who have been fired lately?' But a job that gives you six months work, followed by a severance that will set you up for life isn't such a crazy idea after all.

    Where do I apply?

    -

    James

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  12. In other news, well it looks like my FFL team's starting to live up to it's name given Fellalini's suspended and Hangeland's out for 3 matches.

    Oh well, I'll bust out the wildcard and make some wholesale changes before the man upstairs gets tetchy and fires me because we've had some crap games.

    -

    James.

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  13. Benitez is manager till the end of the season .... I predict a riot ... a lot of Chelsea fans think he's a cunt from the days when he was liverpool boss and wound them up

    -

    James

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  14. What happens if somehow Chelsea beat the odds and win the Champs League again? Do we keep Rafa? What if we win the Europa league? And/or the PL title?

    I recognize that all of that is quite unlikely, but still... now I'm mostly worried that we will be stuck in the Europa League next year, and why would Pep want a piece of that?

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  15. all that remains is for Abromovich to sell the club to Gillet & Hicks.

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  16. Top blog as always, Robbo but the Chelski Manager-Merry-Go-Round is worse than the 9 in 9 you mention. If you start from the exit of the Special One and the appointment of Mr. Happy (Avram Grant) who always had the demeanour of a dodgy kebab-shop owner who had just been raided by the Environmental Health and was trying to explain away the dog in the freezer, then Benitez is the 7th Manager in the last 5 years and 3 months - and Ancelotti was there for nearly two of those years! Once again RDM has got the sack for doing very little wrong (remember West Brom). I almost feel sorry for Chelski fans but I suppose they should be thankful RA still wants to play with his toy - what would ever happen if he got bored and walked away?

    Spider

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  17. Citeh out the CL,

    Will Kenny Dalgleish be replacing Mancini tomorrow?

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    Replies
    1. Well, it would make two Italian Robertos in two days...

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  18. Fuckin hell..it is Rafa..he'll probably sell Ramires and Hazard for Babel and Barry and try getting Luiz and Cahill into defending zonally. Or probably win it all and replace Tito who gets fired from Barca at the end of the season. Either way, should be absolutely fun to watch.

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  19. I reckon AR is still smarting from spending £50 million on a duff striker, and won't settle until he's saved face.

    He got rid of most of the other strikers at the club to force RDM to play Torrid, and when he dropped him, he got fired.

    Benitez is there coz he can get the best out of Torrid, raise the price, and help fund a decent striker in the summer.

    As for Pep, I'd give him 3 months at Chelsea, before JT and the zimmerframe crew turned on him.

    Or maybe AR is just paving the way for the return of Moaninho.....

    Camel

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  20. this just in, Willie Carson has been added to the shortlist.

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  21. Hi there! Long time since been here but have read all the posts. Surprised at this one Robbo you havent bashed the Russian owner as much as I would have liked. ;)

    I second H2H's thoughts on Pep's success at Barcelona. Any half decent manager would have won la liga (supposedly weak competition) with the talent that he had at his disposal. Eto'o, Xavi, Puyol were peaking at that age and playing some of the best football. Messi is the best and continues to flourish. As for his Champions League wins, lets not forget that with a bit of luck or decisions going Arsenal's way we could have knocked them out. So the question is what makes RA or CFC fans think Pep Guardiola is guaranteed success? And when have been the titles handed out in November?

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  22. And what a good week it has been for Arsenal. Beat Sp*rs 5-2 and then beat Montepellier 2-0 to secure qualification to knockout rounds for umpteenth time.
    Very pleased for Jack and his goal. Special player indeed.
    Podolski's volley was fantastic as well. Gotta say Robin who?? And Giroud's continues to impress...Hoping this is start of a long winning run.

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  23. I've been quite amused by all the Chelsea fans being interviewed saying "We don't want Benitez"

    How many more decisions does Abramovich have to make before they realise he doesn't give a monkeys what they want.

    I am grateful however that they didn't take Mad Mick off us....

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  24. Trots I guess your team will have to brace themselves for ridiculous bids for your star striker David (makes Torres look good) N'Gog!
    Bisq

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    1. I'm sending Phil Gartside a letter Bisq, recommending that we entertain offers below 3 pounds 50p. This should cover the cost of the taxi fare to the station.

      Delete
  25. Benitez?

    HHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


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  26. Well I watched the Juventus v Chelsea game on Monday and despite the scoreline, I saw a little glimmer of hope, something to look forward to - yes, they showed a trailer advertising the hour long soon to be screened show ALL about Mourinho. I thought, Yes there is a football God

    But then I come into work yesterday to be greeted with headlines of RDM being sacked and Rafa appointed as the new interim manager. The Lord giveth and taketh away ...

    I know ranting on here wont make the slightest difference, but we didnt play THAT badly on Tuesday, mathematically still in with (very small) chance of qualifying. Its not as though are hovvering around the relegation zone and we're still in FA Cup & that most important Capital One competitions.

    In RDMs defence its hard to tell sometimes whether Torres is on the pitch or not. Think it is one of the most ridiculous sackings Roman has made, and he's made a few. Heaven help you if you were one of his children and you pissed him off, you'd be shipped out to the adoption agency in outer Siberia before you knew it.


    On a seperate issue, I can confirm that when you are broken down by the side of the road and the very nice man from the recovery service says to you 'It's my last shift after 8 days on and my interest is waning' it does not fill you with the greatest of comfort ....

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  27. How long is the short term basis on which Benitez has been appointed?

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  28. Blog, but with a lower payoff when he gets sacked.


    Jedi

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  29. Astonishing! Absolutely criminal!
    This sordid affair at Stamford Bridge is just a tip of the iceberg - I blame RA for single-handedly ruining the modern game of football in this country! He came in and bought himself a little play thing with an SW6 postcode; spent (I wouldn't say 'invested') obscene amounts of money on whatever player, manager, masseur, Andrey or Fernando he desired and expected that his oil stained roubles would guarantee instant success. What that did was: it gave clubs, who were struggling along, living, or trying to live beyond their means, a false hope that it’s OK to run it like that because there will be some Russian oligarch or Arab royal family willing to buy them out of trouble. ManCity did just that, now owned by a company called Abu Dhabi United (oh, the irony of it all!) and QPR are/were hoping to hit it big by spending big… Leeds, after their near fatality, ended up in-stead with Ken Bates! The Toon are, luckily, just turning huge debts into something resembling profit through some shrewd decision making, but Portsmouth and Rangers are down the pan. It’s just sickening!
    The one of the clubs I admire how it is being run is Wigan; no debts, a no-nonsense chairman and a skilful manager who could have walked away to a bigger nest but stayed to see it through, for full 26 years perhaps?
    SashPie

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    Replies
    1. Would that be the same Wigan that plays in front of a half empty stadium week in week out?

      Delete
  30. As long as we don't let Benitez bring in anyone in January, we will survive. Well, he can't bring in anyone but Pep, that is, whether in January or after this season ends.

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  31. Mr Abromovich, you sir owe me a pair of boxers, because I literaly wet myself upon hearing who you appointed manager.

    Save Rafa.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Mr Holloway2Holland,

      Please find enclosed the Klitchko Brothers.

      Kind regards,

      Roman Abramovich.

      Delete
    2. P.S.

      Speaking of brothers,I appointed Rafa as the Chuckle Brothers are busy with Pantomime at the New Vic,Rotherham.

      R.A

      Delete
  32. Just seen pic of Rafa in Chelsea tracksuit - I feel physically sick ..

    PS H2 that is not very neighbourly laughing that much

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  33. Ha ha Jacks.
    ===

    One of the perks of living in the middle of nowhere is that I can laugh as hard as I want, Bells. ;)

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  34. Clattenburg to face no charge, but Mikel will (and one that he accepts without contesting). What the fuck is going on ? Someone has to pay..maybe Rafa gets a 4 match touchline ban ? He could be the first manager to be fired without even gettigng to a dugout.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that sometimes RdM forgot he was the manager and thought he was one of the playing squad members. I can't think of one manager who would burst into the Referee's room after a match and allow one of his players to threaten the match referee.

      The look on RdM's face during the post-match interview told its own story. Accusing Clattenburg of making a racist comment and announcing it the same night was the pinnacle of stupidity -- everyone at Chelsea needed to sleep on it and make a decision in the cold light of day.

      The FA may have charged Mikel but Chelsea as a club needs to be punished harshly so they don't collective start behaving like John Terry. I'm not holding my breath though and expect the FA to live up to its initials by doing sweet FA.

      Delete
    2. Apologies for the typos in the post above.

      Forgot to say: I believe that RdM's behaviour after the loss to ManU probably played some part in his sacking.

      Delete
  35. More hilarious Americanisms on Fox Soccer - Lazio vs Tottenham - trying to explain the swing and movement on a Ledesma shot at goal from 30 yards out - " That's a knuckleball all along the way".

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    Replies
    1. To be fair, if someone tried to lob a keeper with a shot that traveled a la Tim Wakefield, I doubt anyone would be able to stop it. (Or guess where it will end up.)

      Delete
  36. We'd be better off with Rafalca than Rafa.

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  37. Happy Thanksgiving to all you Meerkans.

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  38. What the fuck is it with teams suddenly playing with no fucking strikers?

    Newsflash Chelasea and Liverpool: It only works for the Spanish national team because they have a prodigious wealth of attacking talent at their disposal, not a bunch of mediocre plodders being carried by one or two stars.


    Mind, that said Spurs played with two up front and had all the cutting edge of a cow's arse.

    -

    James

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    Replies
    1. James, Chelsea have been playing without a striker for most of the season. Basically, we've had a 4-2-3-(Torres).

      Delete
    2. A few shockers from the Liverpool-Young Boys game today:

      1. Our back four were Hendo,Skrtl,Carra and Downing. Skrtl probably being punished for the backpass to Tevez.
      2. Liverpool still in contention for the knockout round (hells bells, we were 2 minutes away from sealing it with a game to spare).
      3. A goal and an assist for Joe Cole.

      Delete
  39. Chelsea need to apologise to mark clattenburg and compensate him. Christ what a blundering chaotic rudderless club its become. I'm seriously starting to question the mental health of whoever is behind the decision making process there.

    To be clear Im sure its not RA a fine man with access to polonium210.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Clattenburg gets to manage Chelsea starting in January after Rafa is sacked because he has only one won trophy by then.

      Delete
  40. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2237017/Rafa-Benitez-Chelsea-press-conference-pictures-Ill-win-fans.html

    or

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20455847

    Or whatever.

    Rafa says "I want to win every game." Good, because obviously RDM didn't give two shits and Aberrantbitch won't accept any less than 10-0 clean sheets until he can hire Pep.

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  41. RBA old son wherever you are, I wish you well but I wish your team a heavy defeat this w/e

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  42. Greetings. Just about to settle down to watch Day 2 of Australia v South Africa. What a day yesterday was - 482-5 after being 55-3, 119 for David Warner, 100 for Mike Hussey and an incredible 200+ for Michael Clarke, becoming the first player ever to score 4 double centuries in a calendar year. It's the second highest score in one day of a test match for Australia too. The world's number one ranked team looking very, very ordinary too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oddly enough, I almost understand what you're talking about. We get West Indies v Bangladesh free on ESPN3 for some reason and I've tried to watch. Don't tell me what happened, I caught bits of the first test but haven't started the second yet. On second thought... That said, and I know this will mark me out as an unorthodox newbie who could never cut it with the true lovers of the sport, it was a lot easier for a novice like myself to handle T20. As much as I tired of the homer-happy era of baseball, I don't think I have the attention span for test cricket.

      On a side note, I was shocked that in all the test matches that had taken place, Chris Gayle's six in the first test match was the first ever off the first ball (in test cricket... I would assume it has been done in other formats). How in the world did it take so long?

      Delete
  43. Happy Thanksgiving AH, Stephen and anyone else who gives a shit.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, and same to you Trotts (and AH, of course). This time next year, may you be thankful that Bolton are back in the Premier League with Holden and Ream in tow. I'll be thankful for Pep at Chelsea. (Then Steve Clarke. Then Mancini. Then Mourinho. And so on until my turn!)

      Oh, and happy Black Friday to all! Or, as it is known in the UK, Four Match Ban Friday.

      Delete
    2. Are we still allowed to call it Black Friday?

      Or will that Herbert geezer sue us?

      Delete
  44. QPR sack Hughes with immediate effect.

    Such a shame...

    hahahahahahahahahaha

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  45. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20386628

    ReplyDelete
  46. The Sparky dismissal is even more laughable when you consider that he left Fulham not so long ago stating;

    “As a young, ambitious manager I wish to move on to further my experiences”.

    Ofcourse we all know he had his beadys on the Villa job, but they blanked him and he ended up at QPR.

    His “experiences” now include not getting the Villa job, barely avoiding relegation in his first season, making the second worst start to a PL campaign ever and getting the old Spanish Archer (but I’m sure he’s experienced that before).

    Can we look forward to Redknaap’s Rangers? Queens Park Twitchers?

    Or will RdM sneak in and steal it from under his nose, leaving The Sun fuming.

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    Replies
    1. That would be absolute quality - RDM in as QPR manager would make me laugh as Harry would then have to take the Ukraine job

      Delete
  47. I read somewhere on Saturday that the Clattenberg thing was a complete smokescreen to distract from the fact that Mikel stormed into the referee’s room after the Manure, Chavski game and threatened to break Clattenberg’s legs becuase of the bookings.

    The writer, a highly repitable blogger in Arsenal circles, claimed that he had that info from a very reliable source.

    We pondered (in the comments) then exactly what would happen, as no one including the FA has the real cojones to show Chavski up for what they are, a disgrace of a club, rife with racism and dirty underhand goings on.

    Referees' union Prospect are demanding that Chelsea apologise, heh, I wouldn't hold my breath if I were them. Chelsea did ofcourse release a statement, it read;

    "The club accepts the case is now concluded and notes the FA states the allegation was made in good faith."

    Not much of an apology is it?

    Even if it was a down on their knees, butt kissing, shoe licking, I'm soooooo soooooo sorry kind of statement, would that really be enough?

    It's all well and good that footballers racially abuse each other and act like cunts, 9 times out of ten they're litraly above the law, they get to do some horrible shit and they get away with it, but as regular folks we can't and ref's are seen as regular folks in the eyes of society.

    Suarez and Terry faced fines and bans, Clattenberg was suspended, guilty before proven innocent, with not only the chance of him losing his reputation, but also his livlihood. How can a simple sorry (which he probably won't even get) suffice?

    The FA must act now, or those gits from CSKA Fulham will just continue to make a mockery of the game we love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi, As far as the Chelsea claims go, I can't really comment as I don't know what happened and would like if the news organizations had the cojones to actually print the alleged racist language so that the public can make have an actually informed opinion. If not you get any fool coming out spouting their mouth off about "institutional racism" and going to complain to the police even if they have no idea what is going on.

      Then, of course, they apologise and say something like "Hello, I am Peter Herbert, a self-aggrandizing pillock of the first order and also shit-pouting, rabble-rousing head of the Black Lawyers Society and I made a complete dick of myself the other day and would like to say I'm sorry, but thanks for the publicity".

      I'm still waiting for that last bit though.

      BTW, Peter, if you are reading I would like to mention that I am calling you those names because I believe that they are true, not in any way because you have a different skin colour to me. I also ask - Do you allow Albinos of black origin to be in your organization?

      Rastafairy (who will be quite happy to provide full name and address to Peter Herbert if he wants to sue me for racial abuse or slander)

      Delete
    2. Managers and players get big fines for even suggesting the referee made a mistake and so bringing the game into disrepute.
      Chelsea players threaten to break legs and the club cover it by claiming racism on 2 players although withdrawing the 2nd against Mata.
      "Oh Chelsea did the right thing, no problem".
      Me thinks there should be a points deduction or throw them out of the league altogether as Clattenburg would have been ruined with his reputation in tatters.
      Del

      Delete
  48. Sparky will have to go to the Championship next. It's where he'd be if Peter Crouch didn't take a dive to earn a last minute penalty that allowed Stoke to draw with Bolton on the final day of the season and thereby save Sparky's ass. He should take Crouch with him and now I've reminded myself of this I have to drop Crouch from my FFSL team. Fuck.

    There's only one Dougie Friedman!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you're going to drop Crouch, then I'f prefer you did it from as high a building you can find.

      The world will thank you.

      Delete
    2. if he had any decency he'd jump.

      Delete
  49. "Arsenal : cash from shirt deal Wenger's to spend."

    Only one of them, mind. That's £39.99

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Three signings for £39,99? Didn't realise you ditched Wenger and recruited Redknapp :P

      -

      James.

      Delete
  50. isn't that the price of a hot dog combo at the Emirates these days?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And how much is a prawn sandwich Adam?

      Delete
    2. it's 275 quid according to this.....

      http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2009/oct/02/rooney-giggs-ferdinand-cook-meal

      Delete
    3. Jacks - don't know as I don't like prawns. - £28 for 3 course meal in hospitality last time I went though

      Delete
  51. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Lu4638HBxWs

    ReplyDelete
  52. Bit late on this one I know, but it's good to see the return of the Comedy God. Save Rafa! The club with no class appoints the manager with no class - a perfect marriage.
    As for Sparky, great player, but a bloody awful manager who is tactically bereft and blames everyone else when things go tits up. Remind you of anyone? He's Rafa-Lite!

    ReplyDelete
  53. Redknapp to QPR ...? I was hoping he'd go to Ukraine just so he could go do something different instead of piss around with relegation fodder after a few good years at Spurs .... oh well, no prizes for guessing where Defoe and Crouch will be plying their trade for come January.

    -

    James

    ReplyDelete
  54. Ramires said clattenburg called mikel "monkey" but guess wot he called him "mikel"

    Turns out Ramires, who speaks English like I speak Portuguese is a keen sea fisherman and its left him hard of herring

    ReplyDelete
  55. what he should have said to Mr. Clattenburg is Não se importa de falar mais devagar?

    ReplyDelete
  56. Breaking News


    Rafa Benitez sacked.

    ReplyDelete
  57. if 'arry gave the half time team talk he might get sacked too!

    ReplyDelete
  58. I would but I was fancy a job at Liverpool so I was going to shove it through some hapless blogger's door.

    ReplyDelete
  59. WAG if the Week

    Model Cibelle Ribeiro says her split with congressman and ex-striker Romário, 46 has left her "agitated". "It's a touchy subject. He still likes his ex-wife. For me, Romário is not a proper man." Ribeiro says she's now "solely focused" on winning Brazil's Miss Bumbum 2012 contest, "then I will trade up my implants, by another 400ml". Romário: "I hardly know her."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "I am sad because he didn't want to accept our relationship as serious. But everything is documented. We've been seen together at night and I keep messages on my cellphone, the key to his house and I've registered some moments of intimacy," declared a bitter Ribeiro to Brazilian tabloids.

      That's make for a helluva pickup line... Hey baby, wanna go register some moments of intimacy?

      Delete
    2. And not to get too off topic, but:

      http://www.missbumbumbrasil.com.br/

      Were there a Euro version, Joey Barton would win the talent portion because he spends so much time talking out of his.

      Delete
    3. Man, what a brilliant job the panel of judges have. Wonder if they get to stroke the bumbum to judge the smooth roundness of all those bumbums?

      Delete
  60. A hotel in west London has changed the name of its top floor suite to Rafa Benitez to 'honour' the new Chelsea coach - saying the room is perfect for short stays.
    Full story: Metro

    ====
    It's also not all it's cracked up to be, has seen better days and once you're there the only way is down.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Arsenal are ready to fight Italian side AC Milan for FC Copenhagen's 19-year-old Danish striker Andreas Cornelius, who is dubbed 'the new Nicklas Bendtner'.
    Full story: Metro
    ===
    W..T...F!!! We're still trying to get shot of the old one.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Harry Redknapp will begin his Queens Park Rangers revolution by moving for former Manchester United and England midfielder David Beckham, 37, who is leaving Los Angeles Galaxy.
    Full story: Sunday Mirror
    ==
    Triffik lad that Becksy
    =
    Redknapp also wants Tottenham's Scott Parker, 32, and Stoke's 31-year-old former QPR, Spurs and Pompey striker Peter Crouch.
    Full story: Daily Star Sunday
    ==
    Ha ha, there's the first Crouch link.

    What? No Defoe????
    =
    And Mark Hughes's replacement at QPR will also move for Tottenham striker Jermain Defoe, 30, as he looks to bring in three new faces during the January window.
    Full story: Metro
    ===
    AAaah, there you go.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is ready to make a shock £10m move for Liverpool's out-of-favour winger Stewart Downing, 28, in the January transfer window.
    Full story: Mail on Sunday
    ====
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Missed all of today's games because I couldnt stop laughing while reading that this morning.

      Delete
  64. These two stories/headlines on the bbc website LOL ....

    Pulis : "teams giving Stoke more credit."


    Jol: Stoke "almost a rugby team"

    ReplyDelete
  65. Ugh. Another two fantasy defeats. My chances to fail spectacularly at the end of the season are, well, failing spectacularly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ho hum..this is getting a bit boring now. 2 more H2H wins today and top of all 4 leagues for a second gameweek running. Lets see if we cant go for a hat-trick.

      Delete
  66. Shite day for Thugton Rovers in the FFL. I ditched Hart for Jussi Jaaskelainen, none of my strikers scored and I had to leave Fellalini and Hangeland out as they were both suspended.

    -

    James

    ReplyDelete
  67. So 'Arry wants Defoe, Dawson and Parker eh?

    Well Dawson will want out as he's well down the pecking order.

    Defoe will command a hefty transfer fee, based on the fact he's on form and the going rate for out of form wastrels is between 35-50 mill (Torres and Carrol) and I can't see Fernandes ponying up too much money given the amount that's already been pissed away this season.

    Parker? Who knows. I don't know how he fits in with AVB's plans as he's been out injured for ages. That said, with Sandro, Dempsey, Dembele Sigguardson, Huddlestone and even Tom Carroll all vying for midfield places he might well be out too.

    -

    James

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't see Crouch or Defoe wanting to make the move to the team currently occupying the basement.

      Delete
    2. there's 6 games before the window opens AH. They could be above Liverpool by then!

      Delete
    3. There's no way they could be 2nd by Jan-1, Trotts.

      Delete
    4. Ver strong spitits by the sounds of things.



      New blogs up, H.

      Delete
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