Monday 12 March 2012

Crossing the Line


There’s always something disturbing about listening to someone like Alan Green and finding out that you agree with him. It’d be like watching Clarkson and then digging out a tweed blazer to wear with your jeans.

But Green’s right about video technology. Just get the hell on with it.

The naysayers down the Blue Bell have come up with various arguments against:

We love a debate. That’s what footy’s about. Human error’s all part of the game. Well yes. We love jeering the poor sap of an official if he gets it wrong. But how do we know he got it wrong? Cos Sky TV have 347 different camera angles to tell us he’s wrong. (Notice I don’t say ‘she’ cos as far as I can tell Sian Massey’s understanding of the offside rule surpasses most referees’, if not Andy Gray’s.)

In other words we, the watching post-match pundits and fans, CAN’T FAIL to get it right but the people who actually make the decisions are allowed to be wrong. Bonkers.

And do we really need a blatant injustice to start a heated debate? I nearly came to blows with some Man United fan just the other day cos I happened to question Michael Carrick’s worth. It was the sort of debate that would happily have graced the cloisters of Oxford University.
‘He’s shit’ said I.
‘You’re shit’ said he. ‘And so’s your football team. It’s a shit club in a shit town.’
‘Au contraire’ I riposted while me mate Tony Thompson grasped on to me drawn-back fist.

Another argument is that it’ll slow the game down. I just don’t get this one. The object of the game is to score a goal. When it appears that one may well have been scored, thirty seconds spent checking this either way is time well spent. Particularly if you’re a Man City fan and your team are playing away for proof of a goal would be a rare thing indeed.

Others get into the practicalities. When do you stop play to look at the telly? I heard one bloke say ‘Well what would’ve happened had Bolton gone up the other end and scored? Eh? EH!? Tell me that!’ And he sat back in his chair and folded his arms as if he’d just proved the existence of God.

Well, Colin – for that was the poor unfortunate’s name – you’d have looked at the replay while Bolton’s players were running around celebrating and you’d have discovered that their goal had to be disallowed cos QPR had scored twenty seconds earlier. In other words, tough shit, Bolton. End of argument.

Or if the attacking team feel like they’ve scored a goal you can appeal and go straight to the video footage.

If this isn't the picture that ends the arguments I don't know what is.

Then there’s the ‘floodgate’ argument. If you allow this then the argument against using the TV for all decisions is irresistible. Except it isn’t. Cos a ball has either crossed the line or it hasn’t. And, I would add, a player is either offside or he isn’t. These things are specific, measurable, provable. And there technology ends.

For the rest of the decision-making has to be down to interpretation. One man’s foul is another man’s dive. One man’s two-footed lunge is another man’s reasonable attempt to obtain the ball. It’s the job of a referee to decide on this, and get pilloried by half the crowd for favouring the opposition.

So there we are. Still plenty to debate and to infuriate. Why does Ashley Young suddenly find himself bouncing off one of two dozen randomly placed trampets when he gets inside the penalty box? How is it that United continue to not give away blatant penalties at Old Trafford?

But more pertinently the big question (now the use of goal-line technology is a given) is, can a bunch of skilful overpaid mercenaries keep going when the going gets tough?

Mancini’s done pretty well this season, but his players do get downright sulky, don’t they? It’s easy to focus this discontent into the shrugging petulant form of Balotelli.

Perhaps Mario was still seething from his fine last week – which as me good pal Andy Smart remarked, doesn’t so much affect him as the citizens of Manchester who have come to expect the odd wad of a Friday night from out the back of Mario’s Ferrari. Well, them and the North-West’s biggest vendors of fireworks.

But it wasn’t just Balotelli. Barry chuntered as he left the pitch too – and he should be grateful that he gets off the bench at all in my book. Silva looked uninterested. And I’ve seen a higher work-rate during a Mexican siesta.

When you compare that to the busy bees at OT you realise that Mancini is always going to suffer from the fact that the main principle guiding the players in his squad is self-interest – and that does not a team make.

Still Tevez’ll be back soon so that’ll make all the difference.

Compare and contrast with the sides that David Moyes has scratched together over the past ten years and you’ll see why a team ethic is the absolute minimum requirement.

So, given their run-ins it’s United again to win the title (yawn); and to go down..? Well, Bolton look like they might slip free; Blackburn are playing better than the other four; Wolves are shot (Terry Connor wears the expression of a man who’s spent three years trapped in a revolving door); QPR have the sort of run-in that would make the bloke who presents The Deadly 60 turn pale; and Wigan can’t score which as any fool will tell you (and last night that fool was Steve Bruce) really doesn’t help.

Terry looks down, cos that's where he's headed, poor lamb.

Wigan v Wolves is the last game of the season and I’m pretty sure both teams will be wearing black. As for QPR, if they finish a point beneath Bolton, that ghost goal will be the festering splinter of next season’s fingernail.

320 comments:

  1. Bloody hell, first!

    And i read the blog!


    Jedi

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  2. SECOND< OR THIRD< OR FOURTH!!!!HAHA!

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  3. OK< LETS READ THE BLOG TWITS!

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  4. Excellent blog Robbo!
    I agree, the race for relegation is going to be more interesting than the two-horse Manchester derby for the title. While these 2 excitingly close finishes are on, I hope we quietly seal the 4th place.

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  5. Er, sorry I mean 3rd place :)

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  6. And technology.. I think the mercenaries will wake up when teams like Qatar or Spain or Barcelona get impacted by such decisions.

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  7. I really hate to say this (as I've slagged him off constantly over the past 2-3 years to my United fan of a housemate) but Michael Carrick has played really well in every game I've seen of him the last 3 months or so. Puts Gareth Barry to shame (how he's ever pulled on an England shirt I don't know!)

    Completely agree with the rest of the blog though!

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  8. good stuff Robbo. Carrick was shit last week too, looked like he was in a trance.

    Bolton on the other hand are shit every week. They should do the decent thing and volunteer to be relegated with an 80% pay cut even if they finish 16th/17th.

    QPR might also rue the first missed chance of the season when they looked well worthy of the lead but ran out 4-0 losers at home to Bolton. That was back in the day when the title race was between Bolton and City!

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  9. Another fine blog, Robbo.

    On goal line technology, I'm with Alan Green on this, have been since I watched Spurs robbed of a (rare) win at OT (the Pedro Mendes "goal that never was") a few years ago. Some comically incompetent goal keeping, missed by the "assistant referee"). Probably cost Spurs a UEFA Cup place.

    I reckon Carrick has played pretty well this season when I've seen him. Certainly his best season for United. Not saying a lot, mind. To be fair Radar, when it comes to putting Gareth Barry to shame, Gareth Barry does a pretty good job.

    A quick mention for Athletic Bilbao: top performance at OT. The team is made up entirely of Basque nationals, which means about 1m people to choose from. Incredible. Manager Marcelo Bielsa is definitely going places (possibly Stamford Bridge). He was the coach of the Chile side in the last WC and started a few years ago with the Argentine U19 squad (including Messi and Di Maria: nice!)

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  10. Robbo said....
    How is it that United continue to not give away blatant penalties at Old Trafford?

    ------------------

    A common myth that unfortunately the majority of football fans think is actually true. Yes it should have been a penalty but give me one club this season who haven't had something similar. And actually give me one club who had a worse penalty decision given against them at home like the one United had versus Newcastle.

    Other than that I totally agree with you Robbo, except that Tevez will make all the difference....or were you being sarcastic.....hmmmmmmmmm. Anyway, I'm praying that Mancini brings Tevez back cuz hes pure cancer at that club. And not the slow kind that gives you a chance, more a pancreatic lump destined to make you snuff it on the way home from the check-up that discovered it. Hes bad craic.

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  11. Rod, I'm not getting into the "what do you have to do to get a penalty at OT" discussion, because the facts speak for themselves, however if you want to talk about bad penalty decisions just look at Arsenals last two PL games when Bale was taken out by a mystery sniper and Suarez did the hop skip and jump over a leg that didn't touch him.

    ====
    Nice blog Robbo, but no mention of the Imploding Hotspurs and Árry lost it Redyaap?

    Anyone looking for a real laugh should visit the Vital Spurs website, the "fans" are turning on Harry faster then you can say dodgy tax return.

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    Replies
    1. Suarez's was as much a penalty as West Brom's against United. Suarez made a meal about it and feigned injury though. I'd love for someone to actually bring up the facts on this, because this whole position is based on supposition.

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  12. Thats what 'fans' do H. Looking at the liverpool boards, and the way kenny's getting slated, you'd think the Pool had lost 3 in a row and we're headed for bottom half of the table or something.

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  13. AH, to be fair, the Merseyside derby is a mid table clash. If that's OK for liverpool, fine. You're only a couple of wins (or, more likely 6 draws) ahead of 15th place.

    H2 is clearly getting excited at the possibility of overtaking Spurs (which may yet happen, although I think we have the easier run in). I'd be more worried if we were playing consistent rubbish, but that's not the case (the last hour of the NLD was rubbish, but apart from that it's been OK).

    Mancini is desperately hoping the Manc derby will be the title decider, but City have a lot more "banana skin" games to play than United. Can't see a draw being enough for City.


    Jedi

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  14. Agreed Jedi. Don't reckon the Manc derby being decisive at all but it might just see Citeh getting back into it if they win.

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  15. Agreed Jedi. I was being sarcastic (unsuccessfully so it would seem). We have indeed lost 3 in a row and are unquestionably headed in the wrong direction table-wise.

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  16. Sorry AH, I was more concerned with us losing 3 in a row, and being caught by the riff raff (Gooners and Russians). Oo er missus!


    Jedi

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  17. the key for Spurs is not to let the FA Cup get in the way of their focus on the league. They should definitely not play any first teamers in the quarter final.

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  18. Heh, Lootin' Town, home of the Artful tax Dodger in the arsehole of London (HarinGay) and we're the riff-raff.

    Stroll on son. ;)

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  19. Remember how the Spurs wont he league back in Nuvember?

    Well that's well funny.

    I LOLed.

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  20. Great last minute win again from the Gunners.

    'Arry an' the boys will be twitchin'

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    Replies
    1. Was 9 minutes of added time really required? Or did Webb loose track of time? Or...?

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    2. A win in Whinger Time against the might of the Barcodes, eh? Bit gutting I have to admit (Lucky is another word that springs to mind - as usual).


      Jedi

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  21. i thought the reason goal line tech hasnt been introduced is that fifa think they dont have tvs in africa

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  23. Never Say Die, that's what Vermaelen means in Belgian language!!!

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  24. Belgium isn't even supposed to be a country.

    There are 3 official languages in Belgium: Dutch, French and German. (The dialect of Dutch spoken in Belgium is called Flemish).

    Dutch is spoken by 60% of the people, living in the Northern Flemish region.
    French is spoken by 40% of the people, living in the Southern Walloon region.
    German is spoken by less than 1% of the Belgians, living in a small eastern region.

    I always thought Vermaelen sounded like a Nordic fjord village/town, or something. Maybe Dutch, as 60% of Belgians are Dutch speaking.
    _______________________
    I am Profile

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  25. Forgot to say: I don't like Alan Green -- he's a pillock.
    _______________________
    I am Profile

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  26. Vermaelen is indeed a Dutch speaking Belg.

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  27. what has gotten into Rosicky of late? he's been the standout player of the winning run for me, was expecting him to go back to his usual self today, now that he has earned his deal, but he proved me wrong, if he keeps playing like this it'd be really interesting when Wilshere gets fit, I would like to see them start, Arteta is way too slow for me, and rather uncreative for a Spaniard, decent back up though

    --BeeZee

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  28. They don't yet have tv in Belgium. Or goal lines. Only chocolate, beer and paedophiles. The chocolate is to tempt kids into the paedophiles bierkellars.

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  29. The most famous Belgian is Tin Tin who serendipitously invented chocolate in 1923 when fermenting coca beer in the skulls of congolese slaves hand picked by his father king Leopold for their footballing prowess. The fumes from these evil experiments have turned the entire population of Belgium into perverts without language, mute drunken chocaholic football fans who can only point and smile at the children they plan to kidnap.

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  30. Arry told me that. He also muttered summat about Arabs with no oil in their swimming pool. It's not capellos job he's after, its prince Phillips...

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  31. they had Eddy Merckx too. He used to practice around Horwich before they built a stadium. His sister, Elsie, was the village bike back in the day.

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  32. Re: television replays - I live in Australia now and they use it all the time in the rugby league games and, guess what, it works really well! What's more, a panel also reviews the less crucial decisions (like fouls) and then imposes sanctions after the game if so required and, guess what, that works really well too! Just send Blatter, or some other clown from FIFA for a holiday to Australia for a couple of weeks to watch the rugby league season in action and all their concerns about using TV replays will be addressed.

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  33. Video technology is well overdue in football. It's hard to believe that with the tempo the modern game is played at, the PL in particular, that we haven't used video before now.

    I have to question Wenger again last night. Rosicky was the best on the ground for me yet Wenger subbed him with 20 minutes still to play... what was worse he brought Ramsey on in his place... did the same with Chamberlain the other week. He is well paid to do his job so he should know what he is doing.

    Rosicky has found a rare patch of form, long may it last, his last three or four games have been excellent.

    Anon, just as well you remained anon, you would be inundated with giant mouse queries otherwise... Blog has a great interest in them.

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  34. Re video ref.

    think I have made my point many a times.

    The argument that it will slow the game down is rubbish. After every controversial decision, the next couple of minutes are spent bickering, berating and ganging up on the refs any way. bet the replay can be viewed far quicker than that.

    Added bonus, players + fans 'd be far inclined to accept the ruling and move on.

    Those who say the controversy will be gone has surely never watched a game of footy in a pub where the loyalties of the punters are evenly divided.

    Even on a slow mo replay, people still find plenty of ammo to go on.

    But at least, on a video replay to the ref, we will give them a fair chance to see what you and I see on our tellies and make a far fairer and better judgement.

    Much important side effects of the video ref's would be the elimination of diving & other unsporting dobuggery many of game's hacks get involved in.

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  35. Bo, Rosicky was cream crackered, he had nothing left in the tank.

    I personally thought Ramsey looked sharp.
    ==

    Funny stuff on Belgium Blog & Trott, all true too.

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  36. Good blog as ever Robbo. Goal-line technology is a shoo-in, surely? As for the title race, frankly my dear, I don't give a damn, though I've got a bet on City from way back, so I hope it's them. Going down - Wolves and Wigan (at last!) and an unfortunate QPR, who should not have sacked Colin.

    On more pressing matters my team have a chance to go above the spawn of Satan....err, sorry, Liverpoo tonight. We won't of course, as whenever these rare opportunities present themselves we nearly always lose. This despite the fact that currently we're on a bit of a run, and 'Pool's team of expensively assembled very average players plus a failed human being have dropped umpteen points at home. Even when we do get the better of them they'll change the rules to make it irrelevant. God, I hate derbies.

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  37. ...oh, and Moyesie in his 10 years in charge has never managed to win away at one the "old" top 4, loads of draws but no wins....I'm depressed already....

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  38. I once spent a week in Ypres. They are in the French speaking part of Belgium I believe, so I made the effort to speak French to the locals, only to be ignored. When I started speaking English they suddenly all became my best friends.

    True story.

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  39. Although maybe it's in the Flemish speaking part, and they ignored me cos I was speaking French.

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  40. I'm still seething about Pedro Mendes' goal that never was at OT, sp goal-line technology can't come soon enough. Blatter is too set in his ways to introduce it - he's the only thing holding it back. Can national FA's introduce it without FIFA's consent?

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    Replies
    1. They can. But the fear is their country will never be able to host a World Cup while the Fat Bastard lives.

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    2. Why pick on poor Ashley..he seems to have done a bit of alright for the club after all. Oh, you mean the other one.

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    3. Now come on lads youse won a world cup based on a goal that wasn't over the line *snigger*

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  41. Havent been on a long drive in a while so start of April, this is what I've planned

    http://g.co/maps/uat52

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  42. There will be video technology on use and we'll cross many lines

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  43. The next team to win the right to host the WC will probably not have natives who own tvs* or even ever heard of football, so fuck Fifa and bring in the technology.

    *Belgium are hot favourites.

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  44. Don't worry Roger, we will try our best not to cause you more grief. We couldn't score at home against a poor swansea performance on the day, so Moyes could get a nice 10th anniv gift after all.

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  45. This will be the first derby match I have not watched live in a long time. Closing the loan and taking possession of new home today. Dammit, they had to reschedule the derby to today of all days.

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  46. well done AH, the American nightmare is alive and well.

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  47. Good luck with that AH. Did they tell you about the satanic Indian burial ground underneath?

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  48. AH - GL with the house move. I know from experience what a mindfuck it can be.

    As for derbies, I've got to the stage now where I can't watch them on the box, let alone live! We'll be at the pub quiz anyway, so it's BBC Mobile for me. I predict 1-1 with Rodwell getting sent off for a perfectly good tackle....oh hang on that happened in the reverse fixture...:)

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  49. Thanks guys. If the house move wasnt enough, my second girl is due next month. I know, I'm fucked.

    Now that you mention the Indian burial ground blogs, there are a couple of families from India in the neighborhood. Hmm..I should watch out then.

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  50. The American nightmare is awesome Trotts as you well know. Since I didnt have the 20% money to put down, I got an option of paying only 3.5% down and getting an insurance company to insure the loan for a reasonable premium. The fact that the insurers were lining up with offers, just shows that they have learnt nothing from the sub prime crisis. Oh well, I just have to put 3.5% down, and can use the rest of the cash on upgrades. If i lose my job, and the insurer takes my home and credit score, I can always move back to Ol' Blighty I guess. As I said, the system in this country is awesome.

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  51. Good luck AH, its a big risk so I hope its worth it! I'm happy enough renting, saving money here and there in the meantime. Since I'm off the fags now I should be able to save a brave lot. Maybe enter the housing market in 5 years time.

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  52. Good luck AH,

    buying a house, moving, having another kid, following liverpool...

    you got yourself a hat-full al right.

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  53. It is a risk Rod, no doubt. Thing is I've never either bought anything low or sold high in my life, and for once wanted to buy when real estate prices and loan interest rates were both low. Just to know what it feels like.

    If Everton do win today, I hope Drenthe gets a hat-trick as otherwise I'm headed for another sad day at the FFL.

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  54. i assume everyone on here is a home owner who spends half their time looking enviously over the fence at their neighbours flatchested tv and fatchested wife and bmw wankermobile and wishing they had one just like it.

    why else would the argument oooo! rugby has video technology ooo! tennis has technology we should have it too. thou shalt NOT covet thy neighbours telly.

    im with blatter on this one. football is beautiful because of its simplicity. you must all be deluded if you think technological advancement is synonymous with progress its not. ask the residents of hiroshima or colchester united fans who have been turfed out of the beautiful intimacy of layer road to a layby-cum-burger bar off the A12. horrible.

    lets keep it simple, every advancement ever in football has been retrograde. we got rid of the two umpires (each team had one umpire each in the early days and any dispute was referred to the independent 3rd official thats why hes called the referee but you knew that) and ever since the poor old ref has been scapegoated for every loss ever. horrible. the grounds were "improved". horrible. TV money flooded in. horrible. its all gone wrong and you lot want to compound this degradation with even MORE technology?

    we need to take a step backwards. modern boot technology. unnecessary so ban it.does the ref really need that whistle? whats wrong with a friendly rebuke? expensive kit. BAN it save me a few quid. in fact why the hell in the 21st century are grown men running around chasing a ball. is that ball really necessary? lets go for minimalism. no technology, no ball, no men, no kit.

    it therefore follows logically that the future of football is naked women running around in a field, unencumbered by technology of any kind, surrounded by a cheering crowd.

    but in fact lets be honest in these enlightened times, that sounds a bit pervy. so no crowd at all. leave the naked footballing nymphs to their carefree gambolling, ffs. ok take the odd peek if you must.

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  55. You are in luck bloggy, your dear Port Vale seem to be heading that way of minimalism.


    think they might take it a bit too far and seize to exist.

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  56. AH, I'm getting a new gaffe in 2 weeks. Got a contract to sell my current gaffe last night and of course it's a fuckin nightmare. Should have moved in on Feb 1st but the new place failed septic tests so I've been havin nightmares about shit flooded basements. Fortunately they're stumpin' up for the new septic system and it's saved me two months of carryin' both places. It all works out in the end. Although, it needs a new roof so that could be my next nightmare!

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  57. have to agree with Bo, Wenger got both substitutions wrong, Rosicky and AOC are a bigger threat than Ramsey and Gervinho(da fuqs happened to him? he's been hanging out with Arshavin i guess), Ramsey could have come in for Arteta or Song who were both playing deeper since we needed a goal ffs, why take off two attacking unpredictable players who are operating on high confidence due to the recent form (sometimes confidence is a bigger factor than whats left in the tank), I bet the opposition was happy to see them both go, and its not just Wenger, taking off your best players because 'they are tired' is like an epidemic in managers nowadays and I hate it, for example i was throwing stuff at my tele when the Bilbao manager took off Lorenthe with 10-15 minutes to go, for me managers should think like opposition defenders and then decide if they would be happy to see the back of a certain 'tired' player who has ran them ragged for your 'fresh' pile o' mediocrity, if the answer is yes then no don't fucking do it!

    rant over..

    --BeeZee

    In other news

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  58. ...In other news... Vickery is finally showing the effects the company of his fellow illustrious bloggers on the beeb, comparing Neymar to Messi?? Tim, I know you are paid to talk up any kid based in south america who can kick a ball, but ffs...

    --BeeZee

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  59. What wrong with comparing Messi to Neymar.

    they've got lots of similarities as far as I can tell.

    a round shaped thing on their shoulders + a pair of legs & arms to go with. etc. etc.

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  60. why do we have nets on the goals? Can't they just throw down a couple of T shirts or school books. That was in, no it wasn't, yeah it was, no it wasn't, it went over the corner of Sid's satchel, no it fuckin well didn't, well, fuck you we're countin' it, no you're not it's still 18-0 to us, fuck off, you fuck off, smack, thwack, splat, ok, it's 18-1.

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  61. H2H

    What was all that crap about between the 2 dutch caps last night, Krul & RvP, what did the local press say about it, if anything?

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  62. Tone,

    Krul (plus the rest of the NU team) was wasting time a plenty (little known fact: A snail has Tim Krul as a pet) a fact that Arsenal made webb repeatedly aware of.

    After Vermaelen's winner RvP went to Krul and invited him to waste as much fucking time he'd wish to, to which Krul and the rest of team mates took exception.

    All a bit unnecessary ( albeit a little bit funny if you end up on the winner side) but could have resulted in ugly scenes and/or sending offs.

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  63. So Bayern have fired past 7 against a team that knocked out the English Champions.

    Wonder if they'll get the same credit as media's darling Barcelona?

    Ribery better/equal to fabregas/Xavi?

    Gomez comparable to Messi?

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  64. ffs, work with Jerry tomorrow will be a pain, Bayern score 7,, 2games in a row

    btw, ManU, thats how to beat Basle

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  65. Spit
    It just seemed to go on from the start thru to the 99th min
    It did seem that very rarely do the barcodes play from the back, so Krul plays about in his own space, that was even more noticable aginst the Mackems recently

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  66. Tone,

    thing is, if Arsenal had dropped points, it would have been deemed bleating and what not. Now that the yolk is in Pardew's face, no one gives a damn.

    Tiote & Ba got away with quite a bit.

    I prefer it that no one complained but it doesnt make it right.

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  67. Marc Richards. A real man in a world where loyalty and honour make you sound a little bit deranged:

    "I had contact from Crawley but I was straight from the start," said Richards. "I told the manager that I was keen to stay at Vale.

    "Crawley are chucking money about all over the place and they're involved in the play-off race.

    "I could have easily gone down there and jumped ship, but as captain of the football club, I didn't want to be seen to be bowled over by a bag of money.

    "It's not about that for me and I think I've proved that over the years. I could have left for bigger wages and clubs in higher leagues, but my heart's in it at Vale and I want to see the season through.

    "If it's in the best interests of the club, that's the only way I'll leave the club. I think that's the same with every player. The club comes first."

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  68. trott hope you got a good price on that house with no roof and basement full of shit :s

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  69. Blog
    Not enough players around like that

    Another shit result from the DVS,you'll soon catch us up again

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  70. I've just read the estate agent copy for trotts new house...

    " fashionable open air design affords more than adequate ventilation for the rich organic atmospherics emanating from roomy basement area. Ideal for home gardeners...."

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  71. Tone. Doubt it mate. Port vale will be a housing estate by 2014.

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    Replies
    1. I believe Wrights have been sniffing around the site.

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  72. So much for the Moyes love-in the last few days. Same excuse as from all managers,"We were at fault for 2 of the goals"

    Noooooooo, you were at fault for all the goals, you let them in!

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  73. Evening Lads. Once again apologies for my tardiness in replying but that new movie The Matrix has just come out on VHS over here in NZ so we've all been taking time out from our dial up to watch it...

    All this line talk reminds me of just how much I Kevin Keegan LOVE IT how Massey keeps getting her fofsides right. LOVE IT. All those times you tried explaining offside to a missus but failed are well and truly balanced out by her getting it right each and every time.

    I've said it once and no one was listening but I'll say it again; replays and decisions based on them won't slow the game down if they're used whilst the actors masquareding as footballers spend their time rolling around in 'agony' and those scoring from an offside position do their latest dance routine.

    If anything video replays will shorten those two time wasters considerably and prove that Massey has got it right, again.

    LOVE IT!

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  74. Marc to juventus, the rest to fray bend, jack

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  75. Fray bentos even. Fray bendtner wouldnt make a good pie.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Fray Bendtner would try to eat himself.

    ReplyDelete
  77. Hello des I wondered when you were going to answer my post from 1998

    ReplyDelete
  78. Got a while dose of the couldn't-be-fuckeds. Any advice on how to spruce me up?

    ReplyDelete
  79. What the fuck do you think this is, Rod, deidries fuckin casebook?

    ReplyDelete
  80. No need to be rude Blog, Rod is simply needing some advice.

    ReplyDelete
  81. that's it Blog, it's like one big fuckin' gro bag. Lots of land though so I'll have plenty to fertilize and I'm torn between installing a golf practice facility or inviting Vale to join MLS.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Sorry, Rod.

    Well Rod, where to begin. These feelings of ennui and aporia (literally, pathlessness) come upon us all. When we experience them ee may feel worthless. We may feel depressed. We may feel we are hitching our wagon to an unworthy cause.

    My advice would be to sit down and analyse the root cause of these feelings. Analysis is the gardner which can root out those creeping tendrils of doubt. Could it be work? Or family? Or friendships run aground? Or could it be THAT YOU SUPPORT A TEAM OF CHEATING FUCKING CUNTS MANAGED BY A RANTING FUCKING RASPBERRY AND WHO AREN'T EVEN THE SAME FUCKING NATIONALITY AS YOU or perhaps you need to make adjustments to your diet.

    Rod, I recommend you hang fire, wait for the better weather and like as not you'll be feeling much happier and more purposeful come the spring.

    Best wishes,
    Blogdignag (not my real name)

    ReplyDelete
  83. good luck with the move, trott I know how stressful it can be. If you need any advice on the big upheaval, just ask. I think I may have missed my vocation.

    ReplyDelete
  84. Dear Blogdignag,

    I think I've met the perfect woman. she's pretty with a great smile and nice tits. She only nags me incessantly for 30 minutes every three months.

    How should I go about instigating a torrid affair with my dental hygenist?

    Carniverous,
    New Jersey.

    ReplyDelete
  85. Dear TrotterUSA

    That's a tricky one. On reflection, this is my advice. This happened to me once su I can speak from experience. I was staying in a small town just outside Dewsbury and at the time I was suffering delusions about being a human moth. I stopped off on a whim at the dental hygienists. And there she was flossing in reception. Large inviting lips, plummeting decolletage. Her name was Liz and she..fuck me is that the time ey up, Buenos Dias! knocking off time you ll have to sort it out your fucking self mate

    ReplyDelete
  86. It ended badly....

    Why did you come into the dental studio of all dental studios? she wept
    Well I said flashing my perfect teeth, at the time I was suffering delusions. I thought I was a moth and your light was on.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Apparently, they have found the hugs bison.

    the horns look threatening but it just wants to take you in its arms...

    ReplyDelete
  88. Legend...ary

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/27453474@N02/6977663955/in/photostream/

    ReplyDelete
  89. Gotta love the expression on RvP's face. Reminds me of my elder brother whenever he used to get the better of me as kids. Felt like kicking him in the teeth at the time, but he was always bigger and stronger than me, so I ended up a bit Krul-like.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Not sure why everyone seems to be talking up Stevie G. Yes, he did score 3 in a derby, but 2 of those were blast-ins from 6 yards. It's only phenomenal in the context of no one else in the club being able to do that all season.Love the man to death and he's our inspiration and all that jazz, but that was far from any of his best performances.

    ReplyDelete
  91. Tone.

    Re RvP v Krul.

    No one's really making a big deal about, they're just calling it a heat of the moment thing. Dutch media aren't really that big on sensationalism at the best of times, they leave that to the Brit rags.

    BeeZee.

    Totally disagree, I thought AW got his subsitutions spot on. The Ox wasn't having his best game, although admitedly Gerviniho didn't add too much either, and TR was done, he'd ran himself into the ground. Ramsey did well for the short period he was on.

    Aunty Blogidy.

    You're on fine form me ol' China.

    Spits.

    Given your aviator links I thought you would of been more inclined to say Orville and Wilber when guessing which Wrights. (although obviously I'm wrong)

    ReplyDelete
  92. What was Sir Dave drinking?

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/17374070

    Give him some more.

    ReplyDelete
  93. After watching exstencive video footage the FA disiplinary commitee have come to the conclusion that Luiz Suarez and Gareth Bale are not divers.

    They've just been tripping over all the dropped points from their respective teams.

    ReplyDelete
  94. 'Tis the dawn of my last day in Oz. About to embark on a new life adventure in a new land, away from the giant mice, the Dave's and the sheilas. It will be a bit sad to leave the place I have called home for 53 years but I am filled with excitement at the prospects of what my new home holds in store for me.

    My next comment here will probably come after Wolves hold Un**ed to a draw on Sunday.

    ReplyDelete
  95. H,

    it (Wright brothers pun) came to me once I had long pressed the publish button.

    I bow to your superior punnery.

    How's the Wagen Wheel coming along?

    ReplyDelete
  96. Not too bad thanks Spit.

    I'm building it up from scratch so it will take a while, but I'm not dissapointed by the first few weeks results.

    Closed on Wednesdays, so I'm chillin in my office/tv room, half watching the Chelsea game.

    ReplyDelete
  97. Good to hear. Planning a drive to the arctic circle end of August, might make a little detour through Nederland... early stage though...

    ReplyDelete
  98. Meanwhile watching this... http://player.arsenal.com/player/1785-derby-day

    ReplyDelete
  99. Great vid Spits.

    ===
    It looks like all the managers have scored for Chelsea tonight.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Drive to the Artic Circle.... sounds long.

    Let me know closer to the time.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Jeez how fit are these players .... tired just watching them

    ReplyDelete
  102. Torres Missus

    http://futbolife.info/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/olalla-dominguez-.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  103. Cringeworthy media twat moment of the week in the post match interview .....

    Terry : wed all just like to give our condolences to the families of the Belgian schoolkids
    Interviewer: anyone but barca or inter Milan in the next round, frank
    Frank : ?
    Interviewer; well you're still alive in this competition

    ReplyDelete
  104. Well done chelsea for beating the italians.

    will probably help too that they have to play a couple more tough games in the rest of the season.

    No way, they are going to wim the CL, are they?

    ReplyDelete
  105. ...not that I honestly think Chelsea will win the Champions League and/or FA Cup, but if they do and finish in the top four, do you install di Matteo as the manager?

    Though Guardiola would be hard to turn down if for some reason he is crazy enough to sign on. Besides, keeping di Matteo means Abramovich could fire two managers next season instead of just one...

    ReplyDelete
  106. I thought John Terry was the manager of Chelsea!?

    ===
    Blogs, no, really?

    If that's true he should be fired and then stoned, hung, drawn and quarted.

    ReplyDelete
  107. straight up, H. glutton for punishment, i watched it again on the highlight show and it had been tastefully re-edited.

    ReplyDelete
  108. stephen i read pep is on the verge of signing a new one year contract with barca

    chelsea should sign managers on pay as they play contracts and sit them in an office with a revolving door and dimatteo should stop cuddling the chelski boys because they really arent interested

    ReplyDelete
  109. oh and the interviewer actually ended the interview with "England are still alive in this contest" ...he didnt add, "unlike all them belgian schoolkids" but he might as well have done the prat

    ReplyDelete
  110. Bo's off to The Philippines H,to start a different chapter in his life.I'll let him fill in the details.As I type he's setting off.

    TV interviewers are just superb aren't they blogs.

    ReplyDelete
  111. I hope he doesnt become too involved in his real life and forgets to come on over here once in a while.

    ReplyDelete
  112. that's fantastic news. Great place to retire to. Bo, please give us a weekly cock fighting round-up, the BBC have ceased coverage and please see about getting us tickets for the next Manny Paquio fight.

    ReplyDelete
  113. Thanx for the update Jacks.

    Heres wishing him all the best, although BojanglesOfThePhilipines doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

    ReplyDelete
  114. he could be the GorillaInManilla, H

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That would be a chiller,or a thriller.

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    3. or the FilipinoAborogino ( I meant to type)

      Delete
  115. Bo, did you know.....

    (d) Holding of Cockfights. Except as provided in this Decree, cockfighting shall be allowed only in licensed cockpits during Sundays and legal holidays and during local fiestas for not more than three days.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds like a typical Buxton evening.

      Delete
    2. "only in licensed cockpits"

      I feel sorry for the pilots.

      Delete
  116. IOU could easily be 5 or 6-0 down, which wouldnt be a bad thing,the Basques are have been so much technically better over 2 games

    ReplyDelete
  117. ManU look well and truly beaten. This almost never happens.

    ReplyDelete
  118. Bilbao's fans will be Basqueing in the glory of knocking out the Mancs.

    Sorry about that one.

    ReplyDelete
  119. Well at least Europe have punished Utd for having such a weak squad this season. Shame the same can't be said for the Premier League teams.

    ReplyDelete
  120. OK... another 9 hours to kill at Changi Airport... I could get lost too easily here, it is far too big. 3 minutes left on free internet, just time to post this message.

    ReplyDelete
  121. BojanglesOfOz: "OK... another 9 hours to kill at Changi Airport... I could get lost too easily here, it is far too big. 3 minutes left on free internet, just time to post this message."

    http://www.changiairport.com/in-transit/recommended-transfer-experiences

    RECOMMENDED TRANSFER EXPERIENCES

    With our exciting array of facilities, services, shops and dining offerings, you will definitely find something that meets your needs and guarantee an unforgettable transfer experience. Here's our recommendations based on your transit dwell time at Changi Airport.

    2 TO 3 HOURS

    Surf the Internet or send out some emails with FREE Internet services (15 mins)

    They're very generous with the free internet. You'd have been better off checking out page linked above -- you get 30 minutes free on an X-Box 360 or Playstation or you could try the fish micro-massage therapy at the Fish Spa & Reflexology (30 mins) LOL.

    Waiting at airports is a bugger -- I sympathise.
    ___________________________________
    I am not Anonymous -- I am Profile

    ReplyDelete
  122. You take care, Bo. Good luck with the new adventure, mate. And ffs keep posting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Having spoken to Bo before he left Blogs,I think he needs to set up an internet connection from his new home.I'll keep you informed.

      Delete
  123. Jacks I may have bad dreamt this but did you say adampsb was in xfactor? The male Susan boyle?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He's made it past the 1st audition.

      This being the AdamPSB that loathes all things X Factor.

      Wonder what his song was?

      West End Girls?

      Go West?

      4'33"?

      Delete
  124. Congratulations to the Son of India. He reaches the milestone of 100' hundreds. Take a bow. Finally, the gorilla is off his back and now He can march on his way to much greater things. Big day for Sachin fans. All the retirement bullshit coming from the press... take that and shut your mouth.
    "He Will Retire When He Wants!!!"

    ReplyDelete
  125. It a comedy tribute act..the pet shop boyles


    Yeah I no. Catty. But Adam was unkind about my Magnus opus Mandraxe the magician and the Nazi Werewolves from mars, coming soon to a self publish website near you....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Magnus Opus?Icelandic is it?

      I always thought a Magnum Opus was a big Irish cat.

      Delete
  126. Well played sachin, only a matter of time, as they say put a pony on a greyhound and it'll come up a monkey

    ReplyDelete
  127. It's magnificent octopus, jacks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This could run and run then Blogs.It's got legs.

      Delete
  128. No FC Naylor blog for a while.

    Is he dead?

    ReplyDelete
  129. I stopped bothering to look, jacks. Pity. Funny.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Ohh and there was a little matter of Champions League draw as well today. Well doesnt bother Arsenal anyway this time.. but for the record it is here

    Marseille/Bayern v Apoel Nicosia/Real Madrid and
    Benfica/CHELSEA v AC Milan/Barcelona

    ReplyDelete
  131. inkredible creatures. Worth a few squid.

    ReplyDelete
  132. And by the looks of it finals could be an El Classico between Real Madrid and Barcelona.

    ReplyDelete
  133. My moneys on mourinho. He's a few games away from another league and euro double. Incredible manager

    ReplyDelete
  134. My book will be the greatest book ever by someone who can't spell. Or write. Here's a summary....

    Mi bewk....

    Coff Coff. Er...

    The end

    ReplyDelete
  135. Very much a minimalist classic there Blogs.

    ReplyDelete
  136. hmmmm a Mourinho v Di Matteo led Chelsea final, dat's toasty!

    ReplyDelete
  137. jacksofbuxtonMar 16, 2012 04:24 AM

    Magnus Opus?Icelandic is it?

    I always thought a Magnum Opus was a big Irish cat.
    ---
    I thought it was an ice cream lolly thingy.

    ReplyDelete
  138. From Lawro's preDICKtions page;

    "Wolves v Man Utd

    They play with width and pace which makes the pitch bigger and from winning comes belief. It's a a rare day when they don't create chances and the thing with Fergie is that he doesn't moan."

    WHAT THE FUCK?

    ReplyDelete
  139. The X-Factor dream has crashed in the 3rd round. Whilst able to convince 2 judges the Tennant/Lowe tunes were worthy of being put through some youngster from Sony disagreed. To be fair they binned some far better singers than me so not too disappointed.

    Good act to watch out for are some young lads called 4Real from London. Good guys with some real singing ability

    ReplyDelete
  140. I was not unkind about Mandrake etc in fact I found themquite entertaining.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. no you insulted the vale which is much much worse. kick a team when theyre down. kharma police, arrest this man.

      Delete
  141. jacksofbuxtonMar 16, 2012 04:23 AM
    He's made it past the 1st audition.

    This being the AdamPSB that loathes all things X Factor.

    Wonder what his song was?

    West End Girls?

    Go West?

    4'33"?
    -----------------

    I got pressured into it by my work colleagues. I still don't like the telly show but it was an interesting experience and you meet some very talented people there.

    The song was You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk

    ReplyDelete
  142. Business as usual then with the Sachin century and India losing eh SS?

    hehe (here come the stats...)

    --BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
  143. Adam, well done for havin' the balls to stand up in front of people and sing that song when you're sober!

    I prefer the old classic "Sit On My Face And Tell Me That You Love Me"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lovely. closely followed by 'every sperm is sacred...'

      Delete
  144. Adam. I was just breakin' balls, Madon'.

    My preference would be the Macc Lads classic, Sweaty Betty. Im going to log off now that "cookies" shit makes me nervous.

    Fear knocked on the door. Faith answered. There was no one there.

    (all the above in Italian American accent, except for title of song, spoken in broad Derbyshire)

    ReplyDelete
  145. I think The Pet Shop Boyles comedy tribute band would win it.

    ReplyDelete
  146. Magnum Opus Dei the ice cream for fundamentalist bookworms

    ReplyDelete
  147. the road is jammed with broken heroes on a last-chance power drive

    ReplyDelete
  148. Wendy, let me in, I wanna be your friend.

    ReplyDelete
  149. A,B,C,D,E,F,G,

    Eric the half a bee.

    ReplyDelete
  150. Vale have a new club motto ... sunt lacrimae rerum

    ReplyDelete
  151. Bale scores again.

    For Bolton.

    ReplyDelete
  152. What the fuck.

    Busy afternoon over here and just logged on to see that a young, supposedly healthy professional athlete colapsed during a game.

    My prayers are with him at this momemt, I hope he pulls through.

    ReplyDelete
  153. Yep good luck to muamba, game abandoned. Can't remember that happening before and definitely the right decision. Football definitely not more important than life and death, bill shankley

    ReplyDelete
  154. What a terrible situation to go through for all concerned.

    I'm glad he's making progress.

    Not all about footballing ability, is it? He was liked by one and all who knew him close enough and for all their sake, I wish him a long and healthy life.

    ReplyDelete
  155. such a sad situation, unbelievable. Hope the lad pulls through, puts football in perspective.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Certainly puts things into perspective.2 hours before his heart started beating again.Amazing to think how quickly those medics at the game saved his life.

    Pull through lad,pull through.

    ReplyDelete
  157. Well Done Dr. Andrew Deaner.

    http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/309080/Doctor-fan-s-bid-to-save-Fabrice-Muamba

    ReplyDelete

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