Monday 13 June 2011

Hamilton's Accidenticals

There are bad boys in all sorts of sport.

In some sports it doesn’t seem to harm you that much. Iron Mike Tyson was inducted into the Boxing Hall of Infamy – I mean Fame. Not sure whether Evander Holyfield’s earlobe has joined him there.

Robbie Savage seems set to be setting our teeth on edge on with his squeaky-balloon voice on 5Live’s airwaves for years to come.

John McEnroe has become just about the best former player turned commentator there is (apart from, of course, the mighty Richie Benaud, but then Richie never questioned the umpire’s seriousness).

And now motor racing has its own bad boy… Lewis Hamilton. ‘Is it cos I is black?’ he asked half-jokingly after the last race. To which I hope the stewards responded with ‘No, it’s cos you’re a twat.’

"And if he doesn't get out the way then I just ram him, right Boss?"

Even I have to admit that the Canadian Grand Prix was unbelievably exciting. The only thing that ever makes F1 interesting is rainfall. Personally I’d happily watch it if the half the contents of the Pacific Ocean was ritually doused on every track across the globe (especially if the Gollum of motor racing Bernie Ecclestone was underneath it).

But torrential downpours aren’t enough for Lewis. He’s driving like a steroid-pumped road-raging wanker in one of them not-quite-sports-cars that the Japanese build. I wouldn’t be surprised if he can’t hear instructions from his pit-lane cos he’s got some dog-awful Black-Eyed Peas cack blasting into his earholes.

I’m not sure it helps that the cars seem to have ads on them for beer. If I had a car with Singha written on the front in the rear-view mirror I’d be trying to get to the pub twice as fast meself. Maybe he should join another team. Red Bull gives you wings and given the places Lewis tries to overtake he’s going to bloody well need them.

As Niki Lauda said the point is that one day the lad’s going to kill someone. It’s not as if he’s one of them indestructible Chelsea tractors. It’s all well and good telling us that F1 fans love the overtakers. Fact is he’s on his way to the undertakers if he’s not careful.

Plus it was pissing it down. I don’t pretend to know what it’s like to drive a car that quick. Me, I’m happy with summat that gets you from A to B, preferably driven by someone else so I can get stuck into my Singha beer.

But everyone knows you have to rein it in a bit when it’s chucking it down. It’s one of them eternal truths of the road – like motorway service station sandwiches are overpriced and you can’t get a decent pouring teapot at any of them. Or Nissan Micras are driven by old people. Or… stop me. I’m about to consumed by that horrible condition known as Clarkson’s Guff.

Fact is they’ll have to ban the lad if he carries on like this. And no, Lewis, it’s not remotely cos of the colour of your skin – it’s because of the colour of your fellow competitors’ trousers after you’ve loomed up their wing-mirrors.

On a note that is almost as life-threatening, can it be true that Alex McLeish is going to take up the reins at Aston Villa just weeks after taking his doughty alehouse team of Birmingham City down a division?

"How much more money am I gonnae get at Villa? This fuckin' much!"

In Brum that’s going to go down like a glass of pureed phlegm. Amazingly the board at St. Andrew’s saw fit not to sack him – which given he won a Cup seems reasonable. So for him to resign seems a tad shocking. (Mind you football managers these days are as expendable as paper knickers so it’s hard to blame them if they become a bit self-serving.)

Villa fans won’t want him anyway cos he’s of tainted stock. They didn’t want McClaren either. Houllier was welcomed with folded arms and half of them didn’t much care for O’Neill.

McClaren has of course weaved a strange course since he put down that brolly (or flew away on it like Mary Poppins). Of course if that particular McClaren had been being driven by Lewis Hamilton he’d have taken a few other managers out en route.
He’s now at Forest, which must be delighting the locals. And Villa fans too.

But Villa fans are amongst the hardest to satisfy, I reckon. They’re up there with the Geordie bottlers when it comes to having expectations that aren’t supported by any evidence whatsoever. Martinez would’ve been a good choice but he, unlike McLeish, has appreciated the loyalty shown to him and stayed with the Rainbow Coalition that is the Wigan Athletic squad.

Chances are that Villa fans would look a bit suspicious if Guus Hiddink walked through the gates at Villa Park with a spring in his step.

Still I have to agree that McLeish doesn’t seem a good fit. He seems to settle on big lunks who get the job done and when you look at the talented lads at Villa, who knock it about well on occasions, there’s going to be an almighty culture shift.

I mean if you want a manager who’s good with young players, happy to bring them through if he thinks they’re good enough, and has had success before in different leagues, then McClaren would be as good a pick as any.

He's back - the fella with the umbrella

The England debacle has done nowt for his reputation but frankly Capello’s England aren’t up to much are they? Maybe he’s just a victim of our expectation that cos we invented the game we should be the best at it.

Let’s face it, the best England players right now wouldn’t get into the first teams of many other national sides. After all, a lot of them play for Villa.

271 comments:

  1. Firstest!

    Noel

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  2. Brum are putting up a fight for McLeish this morning and have refused his resignation. Fair enough I guess, he's under contract and their arch-rivals are wanting him (although I'd hardly be excited to see my club wanting Alex McLeish as manager) so they want some decent compensation for him. It's the same for players under contract so I guess they're entitled to get it. I wouldn't fancy being Alex McLeish if Villa don't pay the money and he's stuck there next season after trying to leave City for Villa.

    Noel

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  3. Well done Robbo...... You almost made F1 seem intersesting, which in my book makes you a bonifide (on Teeside a deep fried) genius.

    I heard the race was won by the curious case of Jenson Button, I wonder if he gets younger every year or is he helped by the fact that every now and again he has to make a Brad Pitt stop?

    That Hamilton geezer looks a little bit like Theo Walcott without the bumfluff, which is pretty ironic 'cos they both have speed with fuck all control

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  4. Don't watch F1 so have never seen this Lewis Hamilton drive, but sounds like he needs 12-points on his driving licence.

    Steve McClaren made two mistakes:

    1st, he accepted the England job, and

    2nd, he should never have moved from FC Twente to Wolfsburg.

    In his two years at Twente the team was runners-up and then won the league title the following year, for the first time in their history.

    Flash in the pan? Maybe, but he also won the treble with Man United -- I think ManU played some of the most exciting football whilst McClaren and Carlos Q were Asst Manager. I would choose either of these two over Mourinho (I'm serious, so please don't laugh) as long-term replacement for SAF.

    I am not Anonymous, I am Profile.

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  5. According to wikipedia (I know we can swear to our heart's content on this blog, but are we allowed to quote wikipedia here?):

    "He also played for York Boys under-15 team and represented the county of Yorkshire. Playing as midfielder, McClaren is remembered as being a "tiny" player but also "skilful on the ball" and "head and shoulders above the rest."

    Also according to that bastion of accuracy, McClaren played for Hull City (79-85) and Derby County (85-88). Now, I was definitely awake and sober (being teetotal) during those years and I can't remember the bloke. Must have been pretty anonymous.

    I am not Anonymous, I am Profile.

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  6. good stuff robbo, even better you didn't mention Andy Murray's win! Middle of June and they're still playing ice hockey over here, Stanley Cup finals game 6 tonight, fuckin riveting! Shoot me now.

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  7. Some good points there, Profile, but as a resident of the lowlands may I educate you to the fact that Schtevie inherited "his" Twente squad from Fred Rutten who had in the two previous seasons qualified for the qualification rounds of the CL and won the KNVB Beker (equivalent of the FA cup)

    His head swelled and he chose for the dough in the Bundesliga, basically biting off a shit load more then he could chew. IMHO, Billy Davies did well at Forrest and has been harshly treated, once again SMac will take over a team that can potentinly make a real fist of it..... Let's see what he does with them before touting him to replace SAF, although if it were up to me he could start tomorrow.

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  8. I'm gonna count it off for Trott........


    3.2.1........... BooooInInInInnnngggg.

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  9. And I thought the F1 was interesting as I watched it in the pub - no - it seems it really was interesting - hard to beleive.

    H on Teesside it's a Bommy - tho people a bit further North call it a Bondy - but they shag sheep :)

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  10. G'day all

    Hamilton's a shithead... nuff said.

    It's like a summer's day in Manchester down here... 14 degrees and pissing down... winter's come at last... bring on the summer.

    Arsenal set to strengthen their squad during the summer break... let's wait until the season starts to see.

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  11. G'day all.

    Nice post Robbo. Totally agreed about Lewis Hamilton - worst F1 champion ever I guess! He tries to overtake at wrong positions and then puts blame on feloow drivers.

    Felt bad for Schumi though, he missed out on a deserved podium position.

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  12. BojanglesInOz said...

    G'day all

    Hamilton's a shithead... nuff said.
    _________________________________________________

    It's not very often I disagree with you Bo.

    And I don't disagree with you here either.Hamilton is a wanker.Back of The Times today has him sucking up to Christian Horner for a drive with Red Bull.

    Waah,waah,my car isn't as quick as Vettel's.I want that one,I want that one.

    He's a bottler and an idiot on the track.Never his fault either.Takes out Massa and Maldonado at Monaco and blames them,comes out with "Is it coz I is black" which isn't funny if he meant it as a joke,and a very serious accusation to make of the stewards if it isn't.

    Never thought I'd type this either,but I have a lot of sympathy for Schumacher.Drives beautifully in a considerably inferior car,but because of this stupid DRS wing idea was left a sitting duck to Webber and Button.

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  13. Shumacher was not exactly Mr Clean either. He managed to take out his closest rival in the last race of the season on two separate occasions to ensure he won the title. No doubt he is (was) a great driver but not beyond putting in the dirt when he feels the need.

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  14. Barcelona will make a big push to sign Cesc Fabregas while the Arsenal midfielder is on holiday in the city this week. The Catalan side value the 24-year-old at £35m and are ready to offer the Gunners their choice of players in return.
    --------------------------------------

    There we go Gunners fans all your problems solved. Just get Wenger to say "No problem, you can have Fabregas and we'll have Messi, Xavi, Iniesta and Villa. Oh and you might as well throw in Pique as we need a defender"

    Morning all.

    Colch

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  15. 14th June - Liberation Day in the Falklands and the 29th anniversary of the cessation of hostilities. Normally if I was at home I'd be absolutely shitfaced on free booze (the Government holds a big party in the Town Hall and lays on free drinks for everyone), but seeing as I'm over here in the middle of my exams I've had to make do with a cup of tea instead.

    Bloody pissing it down over here too Bo. Has been for about 10 days now. The 'flood' word was mentioned on the evening news. Going to make for an interesting State of Origin game tomorrow down in Sydney.

    Noel

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  16. Centre-back Younes Kaboul, 25, wants to quit Tottenham and join Marseille in an £8.5m deal.
    -------------------------------------

    Star will be pleased. Spurs' only fit centre back wants to leave. Don't worry though Star as Harry is probably already planning on which midfielder to buy next.

    Colch

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  17. still another 31 days before you can claim the record Noel.

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  18. I'll start the count then Bo, but hopefully it won't get that bad. I'm on holiday in 8 days and I'd like some nice weather.

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  19. Well don't go to Adelaide for your holidays mate, not by plane anyway. Peruvian volcanic ash is still causing problems to a number of flights in and out of Adelaide.

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  20. I won't be flying anywhere. Was going to maybe go for a drive down to the Blue Mountains, but it'll be cold and wet this time of year. Maybe take a drive up to the Gold Coast for some sunshine and sight-seeing.

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  21. young handsome already richer than croesus, famous articulate, unbelievable girlfriend exciting job, consoled by rihanna when he loses - whats not to like about about lewis? friends those pangs of jealousy are perfectly normal.

    and i suspect hes relishing this rebel without a brain image, particularly since he (professionallY) broke with his dad

    the curious case, as H says, is jenson button (drives in reverse) who defends jensen to the media, but his reaction on the radio when lewis shunted him "whats he doing?" tells a different story

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  22. Reminds me of my mate who was driving down the freeway one morning and got a call from his wife saying to be careful, there is some ratbag driving the wrong way... he informed her that there are a whole load of em driving the wrong way where he is.

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  23. Just looking at the teams who played in Kanu's testimonial the other day. The World XI included Jean Makoun, Khalilou Fadiga, Anthony Baffoe, Jay-Jay Okocha, Sammy Kuffour, George Boateng, Joseph Yobo, Taye Taiwo, Herman Hreidarsson and Obinna Nsofor.

    Other players, who turned out in support of the Nigerian were Michael Essien, Kolo Toure, Stephen Appiah, Kalusha Bwalya, John Utaka, Finidi George, Mutiu Adepoju, Obinna Nwaneri, Yakubu Ayegbeni, Elderson Echiejile, Onyekachi Okonkwo, Raphael Chukwu, Daniel Amokachi, Uche Okechukwu and Ogbonnaya Kanu.

    One name stands out on that list - Herman Hreidarsson. Presumably if he was booked he would have said 'Is it cos I is white?'

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  24. Ah Kanu!

    our super Sub. Responsible for many a match turning performances.

    Enjoy your retirement mate.

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  25. So as it appears, McLeish has managed to do what no man before him has done . . . . . . . in bringing together Burmingham and Villa fans.

    They all fuckin' hate him.

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  26. Also, McLeish is being touted as the next Alex Ferguson without any thought whatsoever being given to the fact the man got relegated twice in 3 seasons.
    yeah, he got them back up but do Villa want to be a YoYo?

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  27. Looks like Lewis is off to red bull

    Looks like he's been drinking too much of it. Needs a free supply maybe

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  28. The boy with the biggest teeth in football still has it.

    http://www.offthepost.info/2011/06/video-ronaldinho-humiliates-team-mate-with-outrageous-pre-match-nutmeg/

    Noel

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  29. its even funnier when he tries to run at the end though, noel...marcel merseau miming "a fat man running through treacle into the teeth of a force 9 gale"

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  30. They are making me work.

    Send help.

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  31. Holloway2Holland said... "Some good points there, Profile, but as a resident of the lowlands may I educate you to the fact that Schtevie inherited "his" Twente squad from Fred Rutten who had in the two previous seasons qualified for the qualification rounds of the CL and won the KNVB Beker (equivalent of the FA cup)"

    Wikipedia says:

    ... McClaren's second season at FC Twente, there were question-marks over how well newcomers Bryan Ruiz and Miroslav Stoch would be able to replace the departed Eljero Elia and Marko Arnautović, who had been at the core of Twente's second place finish in the league the preceding year.

    I am not Anonymous, I am Profile.

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  32. Excellent use of Wikipedia as a source there Profile. However Wikipedia also states that there "is a bar in Middenmeer called the Dungheap where Ruud Gullti and Marco Van Basten celebrated after winning the 1998 European Championships with Holland"

    It's not the most reliable of sources.

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  33. gullit and van basten DID celebrate in the dungheap and I know that for a fact because I was there with my mate johnny depp and my ex gisele bundchen

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  34. It's all true, it's on Wiki, so it must be.

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  35. 0945 BST: Italy striker Carvalho Amauri, 31, has attracted the attention of two un-named English clubs, according to the player's agent. The Brazil-born forward, who has spent the last six months on loan at Parma from Juventus, is also a target of Lazio and Napoli.
    Press Association
    ------
    He'll probably stay in Italy, it's always safer to go to a club that has a name, for one, they're much easier to find.

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  36. Chelsea are ready to offer Modric £130,000-a-week to defect to Stamford Bridge.
    Full story: the Sun

    ----
    Does he have knowledge of Spurs Nuclear Arms Programme or is he a spy?

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  37. I have quite a soft spot for Twente.

    Muhren and Thyssen came from there.

    In fact Frans is still part of the coaching set up there.

    Shaved off his dodgy 'tache now though.

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  38. Vale.

    http://www.wsc.co.uk/content/view/7318/38/

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  39. They had quite a good season this year, they won the KNVB beker, and were 2nd in the Ere Divisie, losing out to Ajax on the last day the season.

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  40. Now I'm really fucking confused.

    Are all sluts really feminists and are all lesbians really men?

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  41. Are all feminsts hedonists or just sluts - bit of a ciruclar argument that one :)s

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  42. Al right Star, did you apply for a job at the beeb?

    http://www.badcut.com/image/candidate-reference-966892

    Or considering the name involved, was any of the H2H or RBA active in calling those associated with BBC as 'skunk hos'?

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  43. Cardiff in for Al Shareah?

    looks to have hit the wall.

    Seriously tho, is De Matteo free? or Hughton?

    coz last I remember, these guys finished 1,2 in the Championship in 2010.

    but never mind, go get yourself a big name...

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  44. G'day all

    Gervinho looks a possibility for Arsenal, he waants to go to England and the gunners are holding talks with him.

    Shearer isn't going to Cardiff.

    I'm off to get a cask of plonk.

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  45. Arsenal have made an approach for Shakhtar Donetsk midfielder Willian, with a deal for the 23-year-old including a payment of £12m and Gunners midfielder Denilson in part-exchange.
    ---

    part-exchange?


    are they going to fit Denilson's kidneys and knees to this new kid?

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  46. "If you are a world beater, the world will pay for you. If you are just good enough and reasonably priced, we might come after you. " -- Arsenal player acquisitions.

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  47. with four years remaining on the 24-year-old's contract, the Gunners have told Fabregas they will repeat last year's efforts and do their best to prevent a sale to Barcelona.
    ----------------------
    Why? I'd just let him go.

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  48. Thats why we do what we do and are not in charge of a football club.

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  49. http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/news/Arsenal-transfer-news-Gervinho-Chris-Samba-Gary-Cahill-targets-in-30m-spree-designed-to-stop-fan-backlash-article746959.html
    --------------------------
    Arsenal to spend 30m this summer. But no big names.

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  50. 144 - Gary Cahill won more aerial challenges than any other defender in the 2010-11 Premier League.
    ---

    You'd think Arsenal need him.

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  51. Morning all. Baby is now officially 1 week overdue and is runing all my plans. Got a golf competition on friday and then meant to go away on a golfing holiday next week. At this rate the midwife won't have to slap the baby when it's born as I'll be doing it for her.

    Colch

    P.S. Is anything happening in the world of sport that I should know about or has Blog's Nan invented anything recently?

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  52. GET IN ! Port Vale, Winners, 2011, Best ....





























    ....match day programme award, cough

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  53. Blog's Nan's scared the kids away. No fun and games for now.

    plenty of sunshine and an occasional beer to sap it all in.

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  54. Surely you're wrong Spit. Blog's nan invented kids.

    ReplyDelete
  55. well, she may have invented kids but she also invented "the fear of nans." Which makes you fear the nans, the world over.

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  56. Ah of course, "nanophobia" which is the fear of nans. As opposed to "naniphobia" which is the fear of diving portuguese wingers.

    Colch

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  57. Or obviously "nannyphobia" which is the fear of female goats

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  58. Or "fannyphobia" which is what causes most gynacologists to retire

    Colch

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  59. also not to be confused with the naanophobia.

    the fear of large flat bread accompanied by a chicken tandoori.

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  60. Funny you should mention that Spit. Wasn't it Blog's nan that invented the naan?

    Colch

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  61. Arsenal captain Cesc Fabregas has stated he is happy to stay with the Gunners and added no decision has been made about a move away from the club.

    The 24-year-old Spain midfielder has long been linked with a return to boyhood team Barcelona.

    "I am an Arsenal player. I have been very happy for eight years and I am very happy," he said.

    "There have been no decisions. It doesn't always depend on the player and at the moment I don't know anything."

    Continue reading the main story
    A player who is not frustrated at not winning titles is either lying to himself or lacks ambition
    Cesc Fabregas
    Fabregas added: "You can never say never in this life as so many things happen that you can never predict.

    "But I am very happy where I am. Anything else would be speculation that is untrue."
    --

    one thing is for sure, he is very happy here, always has been always will be.
    happy at arsenal.

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  62. Anonymous said...
    Funny you should mention that Spit. Wasn't it Blog's nan that invented the naan?

    Colch
    ---

    that I am afraid, is untrue.

    however, blog's nan was infact the first ever nun that was blamed for the outbreak of nunnophobia during the 60s and 70s. The invention and free availability of the pill has little to do with the sudden shortage of viable candidates who wanted to become nuns.

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  63. I hate it when the things we make up on this blog turn out to be true.

    It turns out, nanophobia is really something.

    fear of nanotechnology.

    I bet these wimps havent come across blog's nan.

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  64. Kevin Nolan has signed for West Ham.

    the world is mad, I tells ya.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/13781218.stm

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  65. Spitfire said...
    I bet these wimps havent come across blog's nan.
    ----------------------------------------

    Interesting choice of phrase there Spit. I think the only person to "come across blog's nan" is Blog's grandad.

    The only thing most of these nano geeks come across is their computer screen.


    Colch

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  66. aw gawd i wish id never mentioned my nan who was the nan plus ultra of nans. shes been dead for a decade rip shed be nanplussed to find her life and works debated on a comedy football blog

    to be clear it was the anabolic steroid nandrolone which my nan invented (or was it windolene, one of the two)

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  67. i see Robbo of Arabia has taken his jordie camel to qatar on an investigative journalist trek to discover if anyone has heard of the strange foreign game played with an air filled sphere (made from the inflated sphincter of a pro-democracy protester)call-ed "foetboll" (sp?)

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  68. You should try drinking whiskey and windolene. The hangover's a bitch but you wake up with really clear eyes.

    Colch

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  69. in other news, after a protracted internicine branding dispute, gormless oddball ants in their pants twin irish pop freaks "edjard" have shed thier quiffs and reformed as non-identical "acquaintances"

    all pop career projected career trajectories are registering negative verticality

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  70. really clear but completely blind eyes, colch

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  71. blog's nan was the first ever persona nan grata.

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  72. ....in the meantime ....Come on England!

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  73. now were struggling v Ukraine

    U-feckin-kraine

    I officially give up all hope.

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  74. Just watched the first half of the U21 game, the first time I have seen the current cream of English football youth. Not impressed. I did not see a single player out there worthy of an 8 figure transfer fee... most I wouldn't give more than 5 mil for. It doesn't look good for the future if this is the best we have on offer.

    If Pearce was able to get this lot to the last U21 WC final then he should be in charge of the senior rteam, even if he does make silly comments after the match.

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  75. Although we attacked a little more in the second half, there was nothing to get enthusiatic over. The pick of the bunch for me would be Danny Sturridge... a greedy fuck at times (cant blame him when you look at what was around him) but he was the most enterprising and at least worried the Ukraine GK on ocassions.

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  76. Oh well still in with a chance

    thrash Czech 1-0 and its in the onion bag.

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  77. Stick Carroll wilshere and Mich rich in there and its not a bad team, Bo

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  78. Maybe I'm being unfair after watching them for just one game but I wasn't impressed Blog. When you look at what English players are bringing in the transfer market, you would expect more than what they have shown. On paper they appear5 a good team, same as the English senior team looks ok on paper and as the senior teaam the younguns don't quite cut it.... anyway, off to my imaginary job.

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  79. its a myth that 'winning' the U21 translates to winning the WC a few years later.

    FACT: having an extensive grass-roots coaching set-up for at least a decade 'may' translate into competition success.

    yes, there is a bluddy difference.

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  80. Nanotechnology. I hear it's going to be huge.

    Noel

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  81. Bo,

    why exactly did you move down under?

    Must be the weather, right?

    No way its the snappy sense of humour.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-13782645

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  82. Spit, If I was to tell you that that presenter, Karl Stefanovic, just won the Gold Logie (the most popular TV personality award), would that make it even worse?

    Noel

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  83. Excellent Blog, Robbo,tho not sure about the pureed phlegm imagery uuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggghhhhhhhh

    Congrats to Boston Bruins, won the cup from Stanley, first time since 1972

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  84. Why did I move to Oz? Spit, I didn't have a lot of say in the matter.

    Usually Aussies have a good sense of humour. That interviewer lacks a sense of propiety. He didn't help matters by laughing at it himself either.

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  85. Arsenal are preparing an audacious bid to take striker Jermain Defoe from London rivals Tottenham.
    ========================================================

    WHY?

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  86. Tottenham have been told to pay £18m if they want to secure the services of midfielder Lassana Diarra from Real Madrid.

    But Spurs boss Harry Redknapp looks to be closing in on the signing of West Ham midfielder Scott Parker. Talks between the club and player over a £4m move began on Wednesday.
    ------------------------------------

    Bloody hell Harry, more midfielders? I've got a feeling Spurs are going to be playing an innovative 2-7-1 formation next year and that will probably have to be with two midfielders playing in defence.

    Colch

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  87. Tottenham midfielder Luka Modric would command a transfer fee of more than £22m, according to his agent.

    "Luka is happy at Spurs but if an offer came in that was acceptable to the club and player, we would be willing to discuss it," said agent Nikky Vukan
    -----------------------------------------------

    I fucking hate football agents.

    Noel

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  88. This week's betting tips for the U.S. Open.....

    Anthony Kim 125/1
    Zach Johnson 90/1
    Matteo Manassero 70/1
    Hunter Mahan 22/1
    Luke Donald 12/1

    I'd advise you not to back any of these players as I have an each way bet on all of them which means they will probably all miss the cut.

    Colch

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  89. Tottenham midfielder Luka Modric would command a transfer fee of more than £22m, according to his agent.

    Chelsea have reportedly bid that figure for the 25-year-old Croat and had it rejected by their London rivals.

    "Luka is happy at Spurs but if an offer came in that was acceptable to the club and player, we would be willing to discuss it," said agent Nikky Vukan.

    "In my opinion, £22m is a valuation that is too low for the player."

    ---

    so its been established he's for sale, now just haggling over the price...

    ReplyDelete
  90. Loads of crap on a football pitch...

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-13776435

    ReplyDelete
  91. BojanglesInOz said...
    Arsenal are preparing an audacious bid to take striker Jermain Defoe from London rivals Tottenham.
    ========================================================

    WHY?
    ---

    it only means one thing. Wenger lost out to 'arry in 'I spy wiht my little eye....' or beer pong.

    ReplyDelete
  92. Barcelona have confirmed they have started talks with Udinese for Chile winger Alexis Sanchez, who is also wanted by Manchester United and Manchester City.
    ---

    with no taxes on 'highly talented foreign individuals' for the first years in Spain, in effect subsidising the football imports, and a huge chunk of profit from every single shirt sale, not to mention the media deals that each club is allowed to sign for themselves, guess where he is heading...

    ReplyDelete
  93. Spitfire said...
    Loads of crap on a football pitch...

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-13776435
    --------------------------------------

    That's nothing new Apit. Colchester have been putting a load of shit on their pitch every fortnight for the last 50 years. I think they call it home games.

    ReplyDelete
  94. That should've been Spit not Apit. Apit sounds like a euphemism for your arsehole.

    Colch

    ReplyDelete
  95. Chelsea are keen on Barcelona midfielder Thiago Alcantara but the 20-year-old's future could depend on whether the Spanish side sign Fabregas.
    ---

    I'd sign him just because of the cool name.

    Alcantara, in team with Hazard, Hulk, Jesus, Shittu, De Cock, Windass, Firquet, Violant, Jucuzzi, Fanni,


    there are also a couple of african players called potato and salami but making fun of them is just unPC. funny but uncool.

    and then have Rowan Atkinson commentating...

    ReplyDelete
  96. Anonymous said...
    That should've been Spit not Apit. Apit sounds like a euphemism for your arsehole.

    Colch
    ---

    Oi! talk about your own arsehole!! leave mine well alone.

    ReplyDelete
  97. also, please dont talk about your own arsehole over here.

    when it comes to the standard of the conversation, we are staring at the bottom as it is

    ReplyDelete
  98. Inter Milan have started the bidding for Real Madrid's Brazilian forward Kaka, 29, at £26m.
    ---

    anyone go the eBay link?

    ReplyDelete
  99. Spit, have you watched episode 9 of game of thrones?

    ReplyDelete
  100. 60 - Cesc Fabregas has more assists in top 5 leagues in last 5 seasons than any other player, ahead of Dani Alves, Messi & Xavi.

    ---

    but he's happy at Arsenal.

    Very happy.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Bo,

    if you cant find a link to it, I could post one here once I get home.

    ReplyDelete
  102. No I watched it last night. Just wanted to show you this reaction to it. It's a bit long.

    ReplyDelete
  103. once again, it would have to wait till i get a look at it.

    ReplyDelete
  104. Here's the Arsenal new strip for anyone interested. http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/free-video-125th-anniversary-home-kit-launch

    ReplyDelete
  105. Spitfire said...
    Al right Star, did you apply for a job at the beeb?

    http://www.badcut.com/image/candidate-reference-966892

    Or considering the name involved, was any of the H2H or RBA active in calling those associated with BBC as 'skunk hos'?

    ==========

    Wasn't me... I admit to knowing what a "skank ho" is, but I thought that the position of "Web Producer" could only be filled by a spider.

    ReplyDelete
  106. mcLeish is set to become Villa manager.

    Interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  107. Apparently, Wembley is to hos the 2013 CL Final.

    ReplyDelete
  108. Plenty for Arsene to choose from;

    http://www.premierleague.com/staticFiles/14/79/0,,12306~162068,00.pdf

    a few Invincibles on there too.

    ReplyDelete
  109. The Beer Cup Too;

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-13792977

    ReplyDelete
  110. only 4 names in the free agent list there worth anything..gera, seb larsson, tamir cohen and elmandy. Gera, larsson and cohen will obviously by taken by 'arry, so that leaves elmandy for arsenal, H2.

    I can't help but wonder if everyone in the PL is going nuts. McLeish to Villa ? Shearer to anywhere? Nolan to West Ham? What the hell is going on. Given that enrique, gutierrez and barton are also heading out of NU, I wonder if all was not settled about the way Hughton left and Pardew took over. Not that the fat bastard is going to give a shit, he's probably still counting the 35 mil from Carrol.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Once again my betting jinx strikes. The force is strong when I put money on any event. I posted this yesterday........

    "This week's betting tips for the U.S. Open.....

    Anthony Kim 125/1 (+4 200/1)
    Zach Johnson 90/1 (E 50/1)
    Matteo Manassero 70/1 (+3 150/1)
    Hunter Mahan 22/1 (+3 80/1)
    Luke Donald 12/1 (+3 33/1)

    I'd advise you not to back any of these players as I have an each way bet on all of them which means they will probably all miss the cut."

    The first odds are what I backed them at. In bracakets their current score and odds. Think I'm going to give up betting.

    Colch

    P.S. Morning all

    ReplyDelete
  112. Dear Colch,

    Please don't give up betting as I have named my Aston Martin after you.

    Yours sincerely,

    William Hill.

    ReplyDelete
  113. G'day all

    That's why I stopped Col... was always looking for the odds but the bookies usually knew better.

    Are you in the shop Jack?

    ReplyDelete
  114. Bo,

    I had a look at the review of the GoT's episode 9 review and have to say, that brudar is out of his fucking mind.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Eh up one and all. Been a bit busy over here. Hell I'm still too damned busy. I'm out all weekend. Ho hum.

    Truth be told I'm a fan of Hamilton, but even I was yelling at the telly questioning his parentage and calling him a prick last weekend.

    He really should take a few notes from his team mate on being able to drive a bit calmly. Well I say that but Jenson seemed to have taken a few tricks from Hamilton's book and drove the wheels off of his car until he bullied Vettel into a mistake.

    I've just read Spurs have failed to agree terms with Woody over a pay as you play contract.

    Now if only we could convince King to retire and take up a coaching role ..... and we find a fit CB to partner Dawson ...

    ReplyDelete
  116. Spitfire said...
    Al right Star, did you apply for a job at the beeb?

    http://www.badcut.com/image/candidate-reference-966892

    Or considering the name involved, was any of the H2H or RBA active in calling those associated with BBC as 'skunk hos'?

    ==========

    Rofl .... I should do them for slander. I didn't call them a Skank-ho ... I called them a waste of the world's resources, bereft of imagination and generally being intellectually bankrupt.

    ReplyDelete
  117. He's a bit obsessed Spit... think he needs a life.

    ReplyDelete
  118. so when did you last party like you just promotion to siere A?

    http://youtu.be/yCLVm3ImNt8

    ReplyDelete
  119. You found yerself a new friend of the female gender Star?

    ReplyDelete
  120. BojanglesInOz said...

    G'day all

    That's why I stopped Col... was always looking for the odds but the bookies usually knew better.

    Are you in the shop Jack?
    ____________________________________________

    Yes.

    Bit late to answer that one I suppose.

    Mrs Jack is currently watching Game of Thrones.Bit too Lord of the Rings for me.

    ReplyDelete
  121. My favourite tv program ever Jack.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Not sure if I could pick a favourite ever programme,but I'm currently watching The Professionals on ITV4 at the moment,which takes me back to my childhood.

    ReplyDelete
  123. Bodie and Doyle eh... I have to laugh at the fashion in those days.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Well I hope Wenger gets the team right in pre-season already.

    First 5 games of next season.

    Away at Newcastle
    CL-quali
    Home to Liverpool
    Cl-quali
    Away at Manchester united.

    A tasty first 2 weeks

    ReplyDelete
  125. Everton and then the two Manchesters for us. Hmm ...

    ReplyDelete
  126. One for Noel.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-13803111

    Away at Bristol City,home to Hull.

    Home to Northampton in the CC.

    No bids made yet for Wickham,Bullard's wage demands to stay too high,Jason Roberts has denied he's coming to Portman Road.(Presumably to replace Wickham).

    ReplyDelete
  127. Noel - james peck a pal of yours?

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/southamerica/falklandislands/8581447/Britain-a-crude-colonial-power-in-decline-says-Argentinas-president-Cristina-Kirchner.html

    ReplyDelete
  128. beach volleyball is still perceived as a visual feast of pert backsides and skimpy bikinis which remain constrained by those infamous rules demanding that the top should be “closely fitted to be body” and the briefs must have “a side width no greater than 7cm”.

    -------

    like darts its definitely a sport

    ReplyDelete
  129. blogdignag said...
    Sopranos. Peerless tv.
    ----------------------
    true that, the only one that can compete with that is The Wire,

    (BeeZee)

    ReplyDelete
  130. Hi All.

    New Fixture list released.
    -----------------
    Are we already screwed then?



    Looks not, only difficult start to the season as always... but good X-mas period and hopefully good run in at the end to see us lifting the trophy. ;)

    Come on Arsenal!!

    ReplyDelete
  131. Thanks for the links Jacks and Blog. The Falklands is a pretty small place, so not only do I know Jamie Peck, I work with him! He's the storeman at the Power Station where I work. Or at least, he was. There's a whole lot more to the story than is being reported. He's a nice bloke, but a complete waster. He likes to think he's a 'tortured artist', when in fact he ain't all that. A very good footballer though.

    Noel

    ReplyDelete
  132. http://www.goal.com/en/news/1717/editorial/2011/06/17/2534952/arsenal-target-christopher-samba-the-top-10-most-inappropriately-

    Rod Fanni is the best...

    BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
  133. Rod Fanni, the name means buttocks and he's french.

    See him at Arsenal soon.

    ReplyDelete
  134. also, goal.com do a piece on 'interesting' footballer names a day after I posted some of them on this blog is 'interesting' in it self.

    ReplyDelete
  135. yeah i was confused about that too Spit,
    actually was wondering if you had referred to the article in your post and I am reposting the thing, well i did so anyways, (didn't quite remember it was yesterday that you posted the comment, so didn't quite take the timeline into consideration),
    but yep they are watching ya!

    BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
  136. They may not be watching me but I do believe one or two 'sports journalists' can be counted among the lurkers of the blog.

    ReplyDelete
  137. yeah, for all you know I could be McCunty, (though I wouldnt call myself that)
    or would I?...hmm

    BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
  138. how did David Williams pull that unbelievable bird and don't give me that women love men who make them laugh malarky- ill only believe that when the chuckle brothers pull the cheeky girls

    ReplyDelete
  139. Lara Stone sure is some thing blog.

    ReplyDelete
  140. And Brooking has claimed that England need to produce 10 Jack Wilsheres if the country is to break the cycle of underachievement at international level. The Arsenal midfielder is one of the new generation of young players to break into Fabio Capello's side.
    ===============================================================

    Why do they put this sort of pressure on the kids. Every time someone with a bit of talent comes along he is the new messiah who is going to lead us out of the darkness.

    ReplyDelete
  141. She's unbelievabable spit and I wouldn't kick kid sister joss out of bed for eating biscuits neither

    ReplyDelete
  142. au contraire Bo he needs more pressure otherwise he wouldn't have wimped out of the under 21s

    ReplyDelete
  143. I watched the first few episodes of G of T, couldn't really get into it, like Blog and BeeZee, I prefer programmes like Soprano's and The Wire.

    This is my latest favourite;

    http://tvandmovies.org/boardwalk-empire

    Written by the Soprano's guy, produced (and pilot directed) by Martin Scorsese.

    ReplyDelete
  144. Spongebob squarepants - comedy genius

    ReplyDelete
  145. I strongly identify with grouchy curmudgeon squidward and have posters of mermaidman and barnacleboy on my wall

    ReplyDelete
  146. Love Boardwalk Empire too H2H, great show... hope they keep it up for the coming seasons though

    BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
  147. Bad weather leads to an episode of Boardwalking Empire.

    2 thumbs up.

    ReplyDelete
  148. http://www.goal.com/en/news/9/england/2011/06/17/2536916/i-want-to-leave-tottenham-luka-modric-paves-the-way-for

    Any thoughts Star?

    Modric's going for sure now, would serve them well to sell him off to Serie A or sth, although Im happy as an Arsenal fan on this particular occasion, player power is ruining football I must say,

    BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
  149. Midfielder Sylvain Marveaux will not play for Liverpool next season after the Rennes player failed a medical with the Reds.
    ------------------------------------------
    And this at the club where Andy Carroll passed a medical while injured. What the hell has Sylvain got wrong with him to fail a medical? His head must've fallen off half way through.

    Colch

    ReplyDelete
  150. M. Ballack proves once again that you may well be a great player but it does not prevent you from acting like a twat.

    Hasent played for the national xi in ages and still wanted to be considered for the euro 2012.

    Löw told him clear that he wont be featuring under him ever again (Löw is coach till 2014) and offer a farewell game against Brazil later this year.

    His reaction, go fuck your self, yo all.

    ReplyDelete
  151. Not fit enough for Liverpool, but apparently fit enough for Newcastle, as they've just signed him.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/13821043.stm

    Noel

    ReplyDelete
  152. The Football Association's head of elite development Gareth Southgate fears England may never win another tournament again.
    ---

    is that because its people like you who are tasked to make sure of it, er big nose?

    ReplyDelete
  153. and finally, why football is million miles better here in Germany...

    http://youtu.be/AKWdlxYfr9A

    ReplyDelete
  154. BeeZee, yeah, I'm looking forward to a new serie too, probably take a while though.
    ---
    Spit, glad you liked it.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Anonymous said...
    Midfielder Sylvain Marveaux will not play for Liverpool next season after the Rennes player failed a medical with the Reds.
    ------------------------------------------
    And this at the club where Andy Carroll passed a medical while injured. What the hell has Sylvain got wrong with him to fail a medical? His head must've fallen off half way through.

    Colch

    ===
    Ha Ha, not forgeting Aqualini, who was completly banjaxed when they signed him.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Got to agree with Kenny here;

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/13811612.stm

    ReplyDelete
  157. Real Madrid are using former player Zinedine Zidane as a secret weapon as they try to beat Manchester United to the signing of Lens' teenage defender Raphael Varane.
    Full story: Daily Mirror
    ======
    What's he gonna do?
    Headbutt all the United delegates as they try to speak to the player?

    ReplyDelete
  158. A women's football sticker album is proving to be very popular in Germany.
    Full story: Metro
    ===
    After seeing Spit's video, I can understand if they changed the name to sticky album.

    ReplyDelete
  159. http://newsthump.com/2011/06/17/arsenal-fans-learn-schedule-for-next-seasons-premier-league-capitulation/?utm_source=NewsThump+Newsletter+Subscribers&utm_campaign=7233b36e15-NewsThump_Weekly_Round_Up_17th_June_2011&utm_medium=email

    ReplyDelete
  160. New Rangers owner Craig Whyte will join Celtic in pushing harder for the Old Firm to win a place in the Premier League in England. (the Sun)
    =====
    Is he gonna try "pushing" Glasgow over the boarder?

    ReplyDelete
  161. Jacks, it's funny 'cos it's true.

    ReplyDelete
  162. Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lamp c/w genie, who grants them each one wish.

    The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home.

    The second guy wishes the same thing.

    The third guy says "I’m really lonely. I wish my mates were back here."

    ReplyDelete
  163. Nowt worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, how you met, or why they’re dead

    ReplyDelete
  164. And the best joke of the night as told by that funny fucker off of Ello Ello...

    Arsene Wenger is weighing up the most astonishing transfer swoop of the ­summer - for Joey Barton. The Arsenal manager has finally accepted the need to inject some bite and experience into his team of perennial underachievers.

    Full story: The People

    ReplyDelete
  165. Joey? Who the deck is called joey these days. Even budgies aren't called joey anymore

    If you're interested, here are the stats on favourite budgie names

    http://www.birds-online.de/namenstatistik/statistik.php?lang=en

    ReplyDelete
  166. I actually woke up this morning wandering what the most popular budgie names were, so thanks for that blogdiggedydiggedydo. I know a few baby kangeroos that are called Joey. Very popular name amongst the marsupial community.

    Rory 'I need a haircut' McIlroy 8 shots ahead leading into the final round. Surely he won't choke this time?? And more to the point, why do I care? I fucking hate golf.

    Daniel Levy insists Modric is not for sale at any price. I believe that translates to '22m isn't enough. What else have you got?' Nice of Chelsea to go public after Spurs rejected their bid. Get's the players' attention.
    Noel

    ReplyDelete
  167. H2, I downloaded the first two episodes of Boardwalk Empire and watched the first last night. It shows promise but I cant say it grabbed my interest greatly. I don't like Scorsese either as a Producer or a Director.. his productions seem to be filled with big obviously fake sets and large crowds of extras.. a lot of that first episode could have been cuts from Gangs of New York... anyway, because Scorses only produced and directed the first episode (so I believe) I'll give the second episode a watch tonight.

    ReplyDelete
  168. Michael Essien is to be offered to Spurs in the latest Chelsea bid for Luka Modric.
    But furious Spurs chairman Daniel Levy will tear up any written transfer request from creative midfielder Modric.
    ---

    what if chelsea call? or send an email? or, you know, send somebody over?

    ReplyDelete
  169. Arsene Wenger is weighing up the most astonishing transfer swoop of the ­summer - for Joey Barton. The Arsenal manager has finally accepted the need to inject some bite and experience into his team of perennial underachievers.
    --
    just because the team lacks a bit of a bite does not mean he should sign a mad dog.

    ReplyDelete
  170. Michael Essien is to be offered to Spurs in the latest Chelsea bid for Luka Modric.
    But furious Spurs chairman Daniel Levy will tear up any written transfer request from creative midfielder Modric.
    ---
    what if chelsea call? or send an email? or, you know, send somebody over?
    -------------------------------

    Star will be pleased. He's always saying that Spurs need more midfielders

    Colch

    ReplyDelete
  171. Bo, Scorcese did indeed only direct the first episode, but is credited as an executive producer for the whole first serie. I understand if it's not your cup o' char, different strokes and all that.

    ReplyDelete
  172. Bo, say what you want about Scorcese, he always manages to get at least one of his actors to give the performance of a lifetime (DD Lewis, De Niro, ...), same happens with Buscemi in Boardwalk,

    anyways back to the real subject of the blog, (if it ever had one), Considering we have many Arsenal fans here, name one player you would want to see Wenger sign this summer (not that it makes a frickin difference unless the old geezer is reading this, I dont even think he knows how to read by the way),
    please limit yourself to players that seem like they are on the move, (not Messi or Ronaldo),
    figure this will keep us occupied till Robbo writes his next piece about McIllroy,

    ---BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
  173. Mine is Eto by the way,
    says he wants to move to England, best striker in the world currently according to me, proven winner, and at around 25 mill, a steal,
    only problem for Le Professeur is his age i think, though i reckon he is still in great shape, has got loads of pace, and finishing ability, still has 3-4 years to go atleast

    ReplyDelete
  174. I would certainly be tempted to move back to old blighty and buy an arsenal season ticket, just to see barton play wenger's tippy tappy brand of football.

    Seriously though, if he does get samba, roger johnson and barton, might be kinda interesting to see how it pans out. he might want to throw in cattermole as well in there :)

    ReplyDelete
  175. Interesting read.

    http://www.spiegel.de/international/europe/0,1518,768706-2,00.html

    ReplyDelete
  176. AH,

    barton is a talented, competitive footballer but that is besides the point.

    which is that he is not a good person.

    ReplyDelete
  177. The gunners have had enough pricks in the dressing room in recent years (Gallas.. who I had forgotten about until reminded by Spit, Adebayor to name two), bringing in Barton is asking for trouble.

    ReplyDelete
  178. The future of English football looks bloody dim, if the U21's are what we have to rely on. A more inept performance by a football team you are not likely to see. They were more dangerous (to themselves) defending than they were as an attacking unit. If they spent as much time on the training track as they did drawing on themselves they may have a future. Muamba looked as though he felt he shouldn't be on the park.. not that I blame him alone for the poor performance. The whole team were inadequate apart from Sturridge who once again was the only player deserving of a place in the team.

    ReplyDelete
  179. Glad I missed it bo. I've now finally accepted the fact that at present we're a mediocre footballing nation, but that.doesn't preclude improvement and when we do improve , which we inevitably will ie when we get a better manager who can stamp his own imprimature upon the team and forge them into a force to be reckoned with, the next world cup is in the bag or if not that one then definitely the one after but I accept that we can write Qatar off as too 'ot I am after all a realist.

    ReplyDelete
  180. another tournament, another shitework by england.

    lets blame it on arsene.

    ReplyDelete
  181. If you are talking about the tiddly-winks world cup blog, I'm with you all the way, I think we are in with a real chance. Football wc... from what I saw this evening/morning it will make little difference who manages the team, the players are not up to it. I think because the PL is the most watched league in the world we tend to think it is the best, and because we think it is the best we think our international team should be the best. The reality is, the PL is the most exciting but not the best league in the world and made up of some good players, some mediocre players and some bloody ordinary players... unfortunately there are more English players that fall into the last two categories than in the first.

    It is clear for all to see (at least everyone here seems to understand) that we wont be a force in world football until something is done to tech the technical aspects to kids at a young age.

    Anyway off to work, the one in my head that is.

    ReplyDelete
  182. No Bo, football. The world of tiddlywinks is dominated by Larry kahn who's American so we haven't got a chance there

    ReplyDelete
  183. Then we are fucked Blog... never mind, maybe we can invent another game so we can be top dogs for a while until the rest of the world work out how to play it better than us.

    ReplyDelete
  184. At least we're quite good at riding bikes (real ones, not the ones Wayne Rooney and Ryan Giggs ride). And golf.

    One good thing to come out of the latest English footie failure is hopefully Stuart Pearce isn't linked to Fabio's job when he fucks off. I think he's a terrible manager. He'd make a good assistant, but he's not cut out for the main job.

    Noel

    ReplyDelete
  185. BojanglesInOz said...
    Then we are fucked Blog... never mind, maybe we can invent another game so we can be top dogs for a while until the rest of the world work out how to play it better than us.
    -----------------------------------------

    We need to ask Blog's nan to invent a new game. She's good at inventing stuff.

    Oh and morning all. Mrs Colch finally had the new baby Colch yesterday (11 days overdue but got there in the end).

    Colch

    ReplyDelete
  186. Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp will buy "one or two" big players to try and keep Luka Modric at White Hart Lane.
    -------------------------------

    Here's a thought Harry. If Modric wants to go then sell him to Chelsea and use the extra money to buy three or four big players who actually want to be there.

    Colch

    ReplyDelete
  187. French star Lassana Diarra has been told he can leave Real Madrid and is in talks with Manchester United.
    ----------------------------------

    A midfielder is available and isn't being linked to Spurs. Surely some mistake?

    ReplyDelete
  188. Congratulations Col and Mrs Col. Boy or Girl or... err aint no other option.

    ReplyDelete
  189. Congratulations Colch.

    11 days over due eh?

    Is he at least well done?

    ReplyDelete

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