Tuesday 22 February 2011

The Seeds of Destruction

Another mish-mashed FA Cup weekend which seems only to fuel the mean-spirited bleeders who reckon that the tournament is a busted flush and should be replaced by summat even more likely to allow some cash-wielding mercenaries to canter cheerily up the Wembley steps.

Well one set of greedy buggers were dumped out courtesy of the most unsympathetic of football weapons, the Boot of a Neville. Phil gathered himself, visualised the ball on the spot as the shinbone of Cristiano Ronaldo and smacked it home.

But there’ll still be those that argue in favour of the seeded draw. This they say would avoid the travesty of finals like Millwall-ManU (the only time when the New Den cries of ‘No one likes us, we don’t care’ must have rung pretty hollow to their opposition’s fans).

Well, I’ve seen more disappointing finals to be frank.

The Spice Boys circa 1996. The Old Spice Boys now, I suppose.

I seem to remember Liverpool v Man Utd in ’96 when Cantona saved the nation from extra time and spared us any more cack from Merseyside’s brigade of wanky white-suit wearing wallies. Apparently both sides were pretty major teams at the time.

Arsenal v United in 2005 wasn’t the best two and a half hours of my life either. Mind you them hours were spent in the back of a Ford Transit van on my 26th birthday. No, I won’t elaborate. I also remember Sunderland beating the Damned United, and Southampton – a ragtag of wandering veteran minstrels – somehow taking out Tommy Doc’s crop of vibrant men-in-waiting. Both these clubs were so unlikely to win that they were underbunnies – the ones the underdogs have for breakfast.

The idea persists amongst the pro-seeding lobby that what the FA Cup requires is a final between the two best clubs in the country. Why? Chances are that ManU will play the Arse in the last eight. Good. We might get the less than usual suspects at the final.

You might also want to bear in mind that the top (or tell you waht. let's make that the richest) use the Cup as a run-out for the sulky subs get to have a run-out, and that the manager spends the next ninety minutes with his fingers crossed hoping that the squad makeweights might muster a performance. Of course if it’s Arsenal you’re up against then you counter the meaningless tippy-tap with a big scary substitute and you’re laughing – though maybe not quite as much as Barry Hearn thinks.

"Lawks love a duck innit marvellous, etc!"

I mean I know that’s a cash cow and a half for Barry Hearn but the Matchroom Maestro has been milking it like an engorged wet nurse ever since. And the boys are off to Vegas. Been there – it’s shite. One night and I wanted to stick a neon bulb up the backside of every ivory-toothed croupier in the whole of the Goddamn city.

But any road, to me the whole point of the FA Cup is its randomness. You can have Chelsea-Arsenal in the third round. You can sneak a win at a Premier League ground and get rewarded with an away trip to Peterborough or somewhere a bit crap like that. It’s luck, is all it is.

Seeding would guarantee a Premier League club for some and yet by and large it would also prevent a club like Crawley from getting to Round 5. The hardheads’ll tell you that the minnows can then get a guaranteed pay-day. Them that value the Cup above its ability to pay the bills – like me – will tell you that every FA Cup year needs its story and if by the time of the last 32, there’s no collection of no-marks with a dream in their hearts and a Ronnie Radford rasper in their boots then you might as well consign the competition to the potty days of footy history.

‘Do you remember the Football Association Cup, Bert?’
‘Yes, ha ha! Laughable wasn’t it? D’you know back then people used to play football for the love of it?’
‘Ha Ha! The soft-minded paupers!’
‘Apart from Manchester City of course –‘
‘'Course!'

Now my only regrets about expressing this view is that (a) I’ve depicted meself as some sort of moist-eyed moron who’s bought into the romance of the Cup without applying his poor sentimental brain to the harsh realities of modern sport (partly because that is 80% true) and (b) I find myself agreeing with BBC Radio 5Live’s new Voice of Football Reason Robbie Savage.

"I speak my mind, I do - which should take about 23 seconds max"

Now there was a time when no one had a good word to say about Savage – although I always thought tosspot was a very good word to say about him. What can you say about him? He gave 110%? He wasn’t completely shite? He’s got very shiny hair?

That’s about it. Other than that he was a needly little bleeder who used incitement and niggling as compensation for his lack of pace and talent. A kind of honorary Neville in a way.

So how come people keep telling him he’s a legend on phone-ins? I mean he’s not the worst pundit I’ve heard. He’s not the ironically named Mark Bright. Or Garth ‘just cos I use the occasional long word doesn’t mean I’m not talking shite’ Crooks. Or Andy ‘decent bloke but as empty as Space’ Townsend.

He can string a few words together I suppose although whether them words have owt to do with each other is anyone’s guess.

The only thing about Savage which I can sort of understand is that he’s one of them players that you loathe unless he’s wearing your team’s colours. That suddenly legitimises him. A bit of ankle-tapping – well, football’s a man’s game, eh Robbie? In the ear of the ref for ninety minutes – well he’s just using his experience...

It’s just that a bit of an attitude doesn’t make you an insightful pundit does it now? I mean you only have to listen to that arrogant plank Brian Moore on the rugby to realise that.

And if that’s the pot calling the kettle an ethnic minority then so be it.

290 comments:

  1. dead good that Robbo and as long as Bolton are in it they shouldn't change a thing and now Klasnic's rape charge has been dropped well, Wembley here we come.

    That's right about Savage, we all have different perceptions of players, never more so than when they're "ours". Robinson for Bolton could be described as an annoying one-paced dirty twat that talks too much but because he's ours he becomes a tough, loyal, comitted veteran always ready to show his passion for the cause.

    Orient in the semis please!

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  2. Hopefully Arsenal get disOriented so there are some underbunnies left.

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  3. "He can string a few words together I suppose although whether them words have owt to do with each other is anyone’s guess."

    hahahahaha......

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  4. (and Man U reserves, led by Bebe ,in the final please).

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  5. Shit - I was actually 5th - anonymous doent count!!!

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  6. 23 seconds - Robbo - u do the brain of man a lack of credit

    plus

    "used incitement and niggling as compensation for his lack of pace and talent"

    Thats my election strategy :)

    Vote Early Vote Often

    @terryfbh

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  7. Robbie' s an afghan hound who lived a blow average life and has been reincarnated a rung down the evolutionary ladder

    if your kettles an ethnic minority Robbo, watch out for a bit of tension with the indigenous cutlery the rise in your kitchen of the BNP , (breadknife national party) and calls for forcible repatriation to Currys

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  8. How has the female species not died out yet? I just got a phone call from my 'better' half saying she was lost, after she went out for a walk. I asked her to tell me what she could see and any street names. I went outside and I could see her from the front door step. She got lost 100 metres from the house where we've lived for 14 months.

    As for the blog, top stuff as always Mr Robson. I've always thought that I'd still hate GNev even if he was a Spurs player. Other annoying players like Savage or Diouf, I can sort of see why fans of their clubs would like them. But GNev? Never.

    And that pic of the Liverpool Spice Boys - 2 of them went on to play for Spurs. John Scales and Razor Ruddock. Both had turned to pies by that stage in their careers though.

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  9. Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish has treated his star striker Andy Carroll by taking him to a reunion concert from Irish pop band Boyzone.
    ======================================================

    He must be hell to get on the wrong side of is all I can say.


    I guess I'm the odd one out 'cause I like Robbie Savage and I have never supported one of the teams he's played for.

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  10. Well 'Arry ... why did you go to Blackpool and drool over Adam last month when you should have been getting the chequebook out for Campbell?

    How we could have done with a clinical striker last night .... but I've been saying that for a year now and been ignored.

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  11. Good Blog Robbo

    I think all teams who demean the FA Cup get what they deserve. As a Miller fan, I can remember beating Arse in the 60s and a little later losing 1-0 at Millmoor after drawing 0-0 at OT against the then non-IOUs.
    Tho I'm honest enough to say, not much then, one or two perhaps

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  12. Terry, I'm not voting for you, why Thornaby and not Yarm

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  13. Bo

    youre not so odd, I dont mind RS either

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  14. Spurs have opened the door for the chavs Star.

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  15. Good to know I'm not alone then Tone.

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  16. What a semi-final that would be Trott... may even consider going to the old dart early if that happened.

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  17. I like my FA Cup as like my one night stands, i.e. random.


    Nowt wrong with it, just keep it as it is.

    And for those who think its an inconvenience, field your pub team for all i care and let the other team through.

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  18. 223. At 00:06am on 26 Jun 2009, briony9851 wrote: hi robbo... cant pretend im a sports fan..got slightly ulterior motive and not sure how else to contact u so apologies to sports fans reading this..
    anyway, im looking to sell the personalised car registration plate 'rob 5on' for my boss so trying to contact high net people like ureself since its worth a good amount...if ure interested please get in touch with me by email asap as ive contacted a few people..

    sorry again for blog intruding!!

    briony
    x


    :.......................

    Well did ya buy it, Robbo?

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  19. Morning all.
    I dont think their exists a weak team for FA Cup. Big teams play their fringe players to show them players what they lack to play consistently at PL level. And also the clubs have to face consequences of playing with poor players. Like Arsenal having got to play 3rd consecutive replay match all against teams from lower division.

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  20. Starfire said...
    Well 'Arry ... why did you go to Blackpool and drool over Adam last month when you should have been getting the chequebook out for Campbell?
    ------------------
    Guess what Star, In my FFL team, Campbell is on subs bench waiting to come on as soon as provisional scores are settled. He comes in and replaces vdVaart.

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  21. Moneys ruining football.

    FA cup Games will be a series of tepid encounters between the reserves of big teams watched by high net toffs like Robbo with his personalized plate and the under- reserves on loan to smaller clubs.

    If they're allowed to play that is. Still shocked ny what happened at Portsmouth - fergie junior (successful but forever in daddys shadow) loses job and the man u loaned are pulled - ok I get that, daddys boy - but so are the stoke loanees wtf.

    Brave New World that hath such business practices in it, a hierarchy of Big Bosses and their client clubs arranged sound the centre in concentric circles of ever decreasing influence or hope. Leaving no doubt about any outcome.

    Random, Spit? Not anymore mate it'd all s FUCKING stitch up - the league, the cup if er keep on like this the only random factor anywhere in football is going to be the performance of the England team.

    Fuck it all, Whitley Bay for the cup! Rant over.

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  22. Great blog the twats who are calling for a seeded system are the same people who who want to take all diversity out of society if this happens the cup is dead, in the french version of the cup there are only 3 ligue 1 teams in the 1/4 finals and you don't hear le coq calling out for seeds.

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  23. I agree with you anon.


    Unless you're the twatish anon and then I disagree with you on principle

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  24. Call me Dave is in newly "liberated" Egypt to welcome the new military rulers. He's taken with him an entourage of British arms dealers.

    I'm sure he's armed himself against any agenbite of fuckin inwit.

    Cunt.

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  25. With the group of western backed loonies shown the door atlast by their ever besieged Volks, would beinteresting how the west copes with the bunch who take their place in order to ensure they dont cause too many ripples in the stinking pond of status quo where the supply chains of oil, gas, weapons, refugees, immigrants are maintained at manageable levels.

    Twats the lot of them.

    also, since most of Libya's oil exports are to EU rather than the USA, would be intersting what our dear leaders are ready to do to make sure 'our' energy supplies are not disturbed.

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  26. Anonymous said...
    Great blog the twats who are calling for a seeded system are the same people who who want to take all diversity out of society if this happens the cup is dead, in the french version of the cup there are only 3 ligue 1 teams in the 1/4 finals and you don't hear le coq calling out for seeds.

    23 February 2011 08:49
    __________________________

    thats because the French have a democracy and got rid of the class system when they had the chance where as England chose to persist with having the bunch of inbreds as our ruling elite.

    ironically, it was the frenchies that brought us the class system. before that, the vikings raped all the brits on equal opportunity.

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  27. AC Milan's Gennaro Gattuso will not be in London for the Champions League return leg against Tottenham. Following his confrontation with Spurs head coach Joe Jordan after the first game, the midfielder said: "I have been told there will be 47,000 people there just waiting to give me a slap, so I will stay in Milan."

    _-------

    thats really someone pulling his leg, innit?

    Spurs dont really have 47,000 capacity at their stadium.

    Or that much fans.

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  28. granted its a bit chilly this morning, but am I the only one that got to work today?

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  29. 47.000 ... sounds about the same number as people in Glasgow who have jobs and the money to travel to London and back Spit ...

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  30. Looks like it spit. I'm on hols this week and I'm in stoke with the kids. Unfortunately vale are away this we vs RedandBlueArmy ..shots

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  31. what will the EU do spit? Fuck all as usual. We've just demobbed the raf and sold all the ships except a couple of pedalos with air rifles gaffataped to the front.... and we've got a sea full of the stuff so were not going to act are we?

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  32. Followingborohurts said...
    23 seconds - Robbo - u do the brain of man a lack of credit

    plus

    "used incitement and niggling as compensation for his lack of pace and talent"

    Thats my election strategy :)

    Vote Early Vote Often
    -----------------------

    Vote Tory.

    Actually how can you vote often without it being electoral fraud

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  33. you're right about the Vikings, spit, the Normans were a better class of genocidal rapists

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  34. Robbie Savage was brilliant on 606 on Saturday as loads of people (including Brian Moore) were saying they want the top 4 to be in the cup final every year but every time that happens the final is rubbish.

    I'm hoping for an Everton vs Stoke final if United get knocked out

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  35. Adam we get Tories whoever we vote for, and its usually not the Tories, them being a bunch of cunts and all, so I'm not bothering to vote any more, I'm joining the Tooting Popular Front and waiting for the inevitable tide of destruction to rise as the meltwaters of greed and selfish materialism sweep the rest if you back into the primordial swamp

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  36. everton v stoke yes what a spectacle that would be

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  37. last year's final wasnt that bad, was it?

    the champions vs a championship team.

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  38. what I particularly love about the Tories is their "competition" mantra

    the ancient Greeks would agree, the agon was at the heart of their rise to excellence, aristo- means the best, aristocracy is rule by the best what a sick joke that became. so radical competitive democracy saw them invent everything and culturally outstrip any civilisation before or since

    Football is a pure meritocracy but money is starting to distort the progress of clubs lower down the league

    what the Tories, like chelsea like competition As Long As I have a Competitive advantage.... expensive education, daddys money, extra lessons from mummy, a big house, then start competing with the oiks from the council estates, see how chelski get on then torres would get hid head kicked in

    no wonder were run by posh thick people

    give us 100% death taxes, level the playing field a bit then let's see how they like competition

    End of Rant #2

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  39. was a pretty good game as I recall

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  40. Hmmm .... Stoke vs any team that Big Sam's in charge of .... what would that say about our game to the world?

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  41. it was a shit game. Everythings shit.

    I'm off to the pub.

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  42. no wonder were run by posh thick people

    give us 100% death taxes, level the playing field a bit then let's see how they like competition

    -----------------------------

    As opposed to poor thick people like John Prescott or Rich thick people with Daddy's money like Ed Milliband or Nick Clegg

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  43. Blogs, don't go near any cliffs today please mate.

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  44. yes they may sing summer holiday or see Sahdows or Young Ones

    Always stay away from cliffs (unless there is Misletoe & Wine

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  45. Alright lads. Jesus wept I don't feel the Fred West. I haven't felt this unwell since I seen 3 GoCompare ads in a row.

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  46. Seeing Shadows has to be preferable to seeing boys in pet shops all over town Adam.

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  47. G'day Rodaney... how are things in Belfast?

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  48. Fuck this, it's too hot in the house, I'm away to sleep in the garden... type to you in the Spring.

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  49. I'd imagine things in Belfast are pretty similar to things here in Derry, apart from the general public being a bunch of ignorant cunts. We're a higher breed in Derry who say hello to anyone within a radius of 100 meters. We even say hello to rats.

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  50. I think the next couple of weeks will define United's season. 4 away games that are all losable. Hopefully Valencia will be back soon cuz losing Giggs to injury is a big blow.

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  51. Hello Rod

    what do you think of Canton saying SAF was ghandi?....

    Eric Cantona has warned of "problems" ahead for Manchester United when "Gandhi-like" Sir Alex Ferguson walks away from Old Trafford

    only thing I can think of in common is that curry addict ghandi and incontinent pensioner SAF both wear nappies

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  52. derry v Belfast? Only one way to settle this..

    FIIIIIIGGGHHHTTTTT!

    oh you've had that already. who won the Troubles, anyone?

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  53. Noel I took your advice and stayed away from my uncle cliffs. Nice bloke but I hate the way his dog wipes its arse on the carpet

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  54. Sinn Fein and the DUP by becoming the two biggest political parties without having a clue how to govern me thinks.

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  55. Good stuff Robbo.

    Leave the cup the way it is is my opinion. Let the teams from the lower leagues have their day in the sun and their big pay day (that's the real glamour of the cup for them) The whole randoness of it keeps it exciting.

    Have to disagree with one thing though. I luv Vegas!!

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  56. Their is good reason to believe my kid was probably conceived in Vegas, so I was obviously having a good time there.

    How much of a payday is it really for the smaller clubs? For instance, how much would the Os get for the replay at the Emirates?

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  57. I've been googlies saints images and I have discovered the following amazing coincidences....

    SAF does indeed look a bit like ghandi if you switch the lights off and squint

    Arsene is a dead ringed for Mother Theresa of Calcutta (no need to squint)

    is a dead spit for St Drago patron saint of ugly bastards

    Ancellotti can moonlight when he's sacked as a lookylikey for St Polycarp of Smyrna patron saint of Dysentry and Earache

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  58. What about this?
    http://plixi.com/p/79283964

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  59. AH its definitely going to be worth thrift while going to the emirates as long ss they

    a) catch the bus and
    b) go to Vegas and successfully gamble their share up to triple figures

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  60. I forgot to put a managers name next to st drago - too many to choose from. Football managers convention must be like a scene from Tolkien.

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  61. I cant click on that link, UT, my mp3 playing time travelling tea making device can't do that with this ESP / clairvoyance app (world ends in 17 days) . I bet its funny tho.

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  62. Not sure, AH, but suffice to say a lot more then usual (a percentage of the Emirates take + tv money)

    Brisbane Rd was full for the first time in years for Sundays game, which is great for the club, but winds me up a bit when you hear some of their supporters claiming to be "real fans" because they support their local team. Total bollix of course, if you real fans are so great, why is your stadium so fucking empty week in, week out?

    Crawley Town took over 9000 "real fans" up to OT yet their average gate is just over 1000.

    Real fans = glory hunting, high moral cuntbuckets

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  63. blogdignag said...

    Noel I took your advice and stayed away from my uncle cliffs. Nice bloke but I hate the way his dog wipes its arse on the carpet

    ------------------------------------------------

    I have the same issue with my Aunties growler.

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  64. blogdignag said...
    I cant click on that link, UT, my mp3 playing time travelling tea making device can't do that with this ESP / clairvoyance app (world ends in 17 days) . I bet its funny tho.

    23 February 2011 14:16

    I found it funny blog, maybe even scary. I know i near pooped me pants when i saw it.

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  65. BojanglesOfOz said...
    I hope you are joking H2.... Chamakh being passed over for Bendtner?... Chamakh had better leave the club now then, there is no hope for him.
    ----
    I'm afraid I wasn't joking mate.

    Chamakh did an excellent job for a newcomer at the start of the season when all other options were injured, he lead the line well and did a lot better then many had dared to hope. He played in way more games then le boss really wanted him to (new players usually get drafted in slowly) and it really took it out of him mentaly and physicaly (his own words). In his last few appearances he has been anonymous at best. I hope it changes because I think he's got what it takes and brings something to team that had been missing (ariel threat)

    You only have to look at the bench for last weeks Barceloana game to see Wengers pecking order, Chamakh wasn't on it. Bendy was. I'd be suprised (although not dissapointed) if Bendy didn't get the nod tonight.

    P.S.

    I wish I could sleep in the garden,it's bloody snowing again here. Brrrrrrrrr.

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  66. agree, with bendy being better than Chammakh off late.

    God help our opponents if ever bendy were to be a player he thinks he is.

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  67. I don't think the world could survive if Bendys talent was as great as his ego.

    He would become one with everything and unravel the threads of the universe.

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  68. Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish has treated his star striker Andy Carroll by taking him to a reunion concert by Irish pop group Boyzone.
    Full story: Daily Telegraph
    -----
    That's not how you spell threatened.

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  69. Holloway2Holland said...
    I don't think the world could survive if Bendys talent was as great as his ego.

    He would become one with everything and unravel the threads of the universe.

    -----------------------------------------------

    He'd definitely be able to make the jump from the Matrix movie.

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  70. ..but I'm not sure if he could go back in time by flying around the earth in the opposite direction at the speed of light.

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  71. With his eyes closed, one hand behind his back and his feet tied together, Rod. ;)

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  72. H you've always been a bit touchy on the Real supporter issue. They're real because they live in or near Crawley, or were born there and moved away but kept a nostalgic attachment poor sods let them have their day in the sun.

    Clubs , like camembert and now cornish parties should have Protected Geographical Indication, all ingredients should be raw and indigenous.

    Otherwise a clubs = just a brand or a franchise with no real community significance, the end result being the faustian pact we are seeing at the top of the prem.

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  73. Holloway2Holland said...
    With his eyes closed, one hand behind his back and his feet tied together, Rod. ;)

    --------------------------------------------------

    I'd have to agree. Ronaldo is that good.

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  74. Blogs.

    I'm happy for them and their sun filled day, it's just the hypocrisy of it that pisses me off. It's like they deserve our undying respect because their local team is pants. If they make the effort to go to the normal games then great, you have my respect, but it's the once in a life time supporters giving it large that gets up my nose.

    I too supported my local team, but somehow now I can be classed as a glory hunting supporter, it's no fault of my own that they are now one of the biggest clubs in the world, believe me when I was a kid we were pretty shit, but I still went to every home game and quite a few away too. I live abroad but still try to get over when I can (which unfortunatly is not as often as I'd like) but if they are here in the vicinity then I'm there.

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  75. RodTheFierce said...
    Holloway2Holland said...
    With his eyes closed, one hand behind his back and his feet tied together, Rod. ;)

    --------------------------------------------------

    I'd have to agree. Ronaldo is that good.

    ----
    I was refering to Bendy......

    But agreed, Ronaldos ego is the greatest and he's kinda got the talent to match. *spits dirty taste outta mouth*

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  76. Enough about the Real supporters...

    Who gives a shit about what happens in Spain.

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  77. H fair enough mate like you I've ended up somewhere foreign - Essex

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  78. How's the weather in Essex (or anywhere else in Blighty)?
    I had to pop round the shops and I've reurned looking like Frosty the friggin Snowman, it's absolutly pelting it down here.

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  79. Home time beckons, come on United do us proud again by battling to a win through a mediocre performance!!

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  80. Blogs, that would mean I'd have to support the soccerball New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, etc. Red Bulls. Or to coin a phrase, the RSBulls. And then I wouldn't be the only guy on this blog to say, "Brilliant free kick, Phil!" Everton/Stoke my ass. Bring on the O's!

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  81. Bollox

    Adam suspended, Bale still injured, Drogba playing like a twat plus 2 arse players

    and I'm playing topman Ngog at the weekend

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  82. Arsenal

    Team v Stoke: Szczesny, Sagna, Djourou, Squillaci, Clichy, Song, Wilshere, Nasri, Fabregas, Walcott, Bendtner

    ----
    Told ya.

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  83. Thanks for the heads up on Adam Tone. I'll bench him and bring Nani back into the team in place of Arshavin. I put him in the team this week to make the most of the teams playing 2 games and that fucking blind Frenchman decides to fuck that plan up.

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  84. This game IOU has got 0-0 written all over it

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  85. I see cradle snatching gooners have nicked Jon toral from barca

    he's half English. The weird bit is the deal was brokered by his agent - pep guardiola's bro!

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  86. H - wet grey miserable

    LFHS - yes it does. And if you support the wrong team well send the Football Police round to trim your fingernails and beat you up with wet newspapers

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  87. "cesc" is Spanish for "a bit scared" he's taken precautions by limping off

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  88. Fabregas and Walcott injured but we got 3 points vs Stokes.

    mixed emotions.

    considering the fixture list, cant afford to lose two of our better players for long.

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  89. 3pts, but at What cost?

    Nice win for Bayern and iou can be happy with an away draw.

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  90. Early reports are saying Cesc out for three weeks and Theo will have à scan tomorrow.

    Footy eh? A rollercoaster ride.

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  91. That Fabregas, he does not want to play at camp Nou in an arsenal shirt, does he?

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  92. LoveFootballHate Soccer... reminds me of my ex neighbours favourite saying, love violence hate poms.

    Arsenal looked toothless up front today... if this is the best we have for the next three or four weeks you can say goodbye to any thoughts of winning the league, the champions league, the fa cup and the carling cup... another trophey-less year.

    I reckon Walcott will be out for a few weeks... his foot was facing the direction he was coming from by the time he fell to ground... it was a bad twist, sprain, break... whatever.

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  93. Blog, are you in Essex of your own volition or is it some form of punishment meted out by your tory government... mind you I'm heading that way in a few months... just how bad is it?

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  94. Can anyone explain to me how you can have a lengends of Twenty20, when this silly form of cricket has only been around for 8 years or so... hardly time to have created more than a single "legend" or two at the most, surely.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Bo, its called, 'leg- ends' and refers to the body part at the opposite end of the leg than the foot, more commonly known as assholes.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Ah, then it all begins to make sense Spit. Assholes of Twenty20 I can come to terms with.

    ReplyDelete
  97. Morning all.

    Yeah bad day injury wise. Saw the match last night. We were good defensively, but we lost the pace in setting attacks after Cesc got injured in first half.
    I am now afraid of our chances in all the 4 cups because of the injury – the same has happened in the past. Same script yesterday, we just managed to hang on to our goal lead. If Samir Nasri/Arshavin don’t click and find us early goals we might be in trouble. 

    ReplyDelete
  98. FFL updated - RvP out, Bent in. But still got injured VdV, Walcott and suspended Adam in the team. Itching to make another transfer and take a -4 hit... but will do them later.

    I am facing H2H this week... you can beat me, but beat me nice Sir.

    ReplyDelete
  99. SS11 said...

    "I am facing H2H this week... you can beat me, but beat me nice Sir."

    24 February 2011 10:19
    ---------------------------

    with pick up lines like this, you should name your self SnM.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Damn ... forgot Arsenal aren't playing in the league this week.

    One transfer used and I now have Carrol (injured) Adam (suspended) and Fabregas as my bench with Huth captaining a 5 man defence.

    All in the name of trying to go the season without incurring transfer penalties ... oy vey.

    ReplyDelete
  101. SS11.

    I'm in the same boat as you, I've got RvP, Theo, Adam and Fanny Fart too, plus another few walking dead, our game could get messy.

    SnM, is a reference to Sadism and Massachism, a joke due to your "you can beat me but be nice" comment, funny stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  102. Aargh! I dont have brain to think that much. Just wrote as I would have spoken. :D

    ReplyDelete
  103. mornin' Lads, just chuckled meself through the last day and a half's worth of inane drivel. Keep up the good work.

    ReplyDelete
  104. you know, in life H, there are certain things we can always rely on!

    ReplyDelete
  105. Indeed, bird gotta fly, fish gotta swim. Me, I just post inane shit on a footy blog. (In between drinking sessions)

    ReplyDelete
  106. inane drivel isnt just a pass time for me Trotts. it's a vocation. once we pilgrims of drivel attain a certain level of sublime inanity it will correspond with a transcendent kind of "noisy silence" which the Buddha, a vale fan, once in a contemplative moment beneath his Bong tree or was it the Old Man of the Mountains, leader of the hashishim as he toked on a Bong, I forget which, referred to as "total bollox" and at that moment everything will be permitted nothing forbidden the sky will split and Bruce forsyth will descend a celestial staircase hand on hand with Jesus and Robbie Williams and then and only then shall Port Vale be crowned Champions of Europe! (Runners up aldersshot)

    ReplyDelete
  107. the noisy silence was total bollox? are you sure he wasn't talkin' about the Reebok? Are you even sure he spelled bollox with an 'x'? I miss Tommy B, he had all the Buddha knowledge I'll ever need which includes the fact that I shouldn't miss Tommy B.

    ReplyDelete
  108. You take drivel to the next level Bloggs, I feel like Grasshoper, teach us o wise one.

    ReplyDelete
  109. A grasshoper walked into a bar and the barman said;
    "Hey, we've got a drink named after you"

    To which the surprised grasshoper replied;

    "What? Fred?"

    ReplyDelete
  110. Bolton will have to pay £10m to convert their loan deal for Chelsea striker Daniel Sturridge's into a permanent switch to the Reebok. (Daily Star)

    ----
    One injured Carroll is worth three and a half Sturridge's.
    Sign him up.

    ReplyDelete
  111. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  112. A group of gay Polish football fans have called on the organisers of Euro 2012, being held in Poland and the Ukraine, to set aside seating for gay men and lesbians to protect them from possible aggression at the tournament.
    Full story: Daily Telegraph

    =====
    How's designated seating gonna keep 'em safe? They'll just be easier to find.

    ReplyDelete
  113. the ultimate footballing cunt

    http://bit.ly/hkNM9g

    ReplyDelete
  114. And now its confirmed, Fabregas out of the CC Final too.

    FUCK.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Damn .... so who's going to lead Arsenal into battle now?

    ReplyDelete
  116. Game set and Match at Eastlands after 3 minutes ....Dzeko's scored twice already.

    ReplyDelete
  117. G'day all

    It seems once again the Arsenal season is going pear shaped because our players are bloody fragile

    ReplyDelete
  118. the ultimate footballing cunt

    http://bit.ly/hkNM9g
    ====================================

    Not sure what that is all about Spit... just something in German about the water cooler and a Guttenberg doctor as far as I can make out.

    ReplyDelete
  119. There is no doubt that Blog is the master of drivel... but I think I have speaking total bollox down to a fine art though.

    ReplyDelete
  120. All in the name of trying to go the season without incurring transfer penalties ... oy vey.
    ======================================================

    Now you are sounding like a true Spurs supporter Star. :p

    ReplyDelete
  121. The 23-year-old was the subject of interest from West Ham and Tottenham last summer.

    But neither club were prepared to take a risk on an unproven striker, who at 5ft 8ins, is deemed to be too slight for the rigours of the Barclays Premier League.
    ===================================================================

    ... but not too slight for Arsenal... our team consists of this type of player, he'll fit right in

    ReplyDelete
  122. Talking about Kevin Gmeiro of L'Orient above... sorry about that.

    ReplyDelete
  123. bugger it, one more try... Kevin Gameiro... there.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Birmingham striker Matt Derbyshire's wife Melissa has revealed that she publicly rowed with a Blues' season-ticket holder who criticised her husband during the team's Premier League draw with city rivals Aston Villa at St Andrew's in January.
    ======================================================================

    Who gives a shit?

    ReplyDelete
  125. The O's midfielder Jose-Paul M'Poku won't be going to Vegas with the boys, in his words "Las Vegas is a city full of sins and I am a very religious person." My reason for not going would be quite different... I would refuse to go while a Republican or Democrat is in charge of the country.

    ReplyDelete
  126. OK, I have done my bit towards drivilising (it's my own word) the site... I'm away looking for a tree with dense shade beneath it to while away the next half dozen hours.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Oy Colch...howz it going mate? I've got you in the FFL, FFS would be a better acronym given I've either got to field 9 players or take a hit of -8. Dammit, why is everyone suddenly injured.

    BojanglesOfOz said...
    OK, I have done my bit towards drivilising (it's my own word) the site...
    -------------
    Well done mate. The only thing i have against too much inane drivel is that it gets us to page 2 that much quicker, and then the serious pissing of off bloggers starts.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Yuvraj injured ahead of England clash
    ----------------------------------------------
    Given his form of late, that's probably a bad thing.

    ReplyDelete
  129. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING VIETNAM.

    So, anyone up for some ice-cream?

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-12569011


    All I can say is, FUCK OFF!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  130. All i want to know Spits is, who gets to milk her????????

    ReplyDelete
  131. What in the name of fucking hell .....?

    ReplyDelete
  132. Breast milk is sour. Who the fuck wants sour ice cream. It makes no sense.

    ReplyDelete
  133. That's fucking sick... I'll keep away from that place when I come over... guaranteed.

    ReplyDelete
  134. If there was anyone who was offended by the Hateman clip I put up last week, heres my mate Coppercab to offer an apology.....


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz-bu84-hWA

    ReplyDelete
  135. I didn't see it Rod, so I wont take offense.

    ReplyDelete
  136. No bother Bo

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGWBoiF1-u8

    ReplyDelete
  137. the 'interesting' bit in the mother milk ice video is when the propereiter said, 'its natural, its free-range..', well, you'd bloody hope they havent got some basement filled with asian moms with a couple of eastern european skin-heads 'milking' them away.

    ReplyDelete
  138. The thing about it though is that the mother has to keep a healthy diet. If she drinks alcohol or takes anything bad for her it will affect the quality of the milk. I wonder if they'll produce skimmed and full fat versions. Or get vegetarian woman for vegans.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Is the milk of a vegetarian woman, really vegan?

    ReplyDelete
  140. If you make the woman eat soya beans then yes.

    ReplyDelete
  141. From the Wikipedia,

    "Veganism is the practice of eliminating the use by human beings of non-human animal products. Ethical vegans reject the commodity status of animals and the use of animal products for any purpose, while dietary vegans or strict vegetarians eliminate them from the diet only"

    ______________

    Guess human breast milk is ok then, coz they only forbid 'non-human' animal products.

    as you were.

    ReplyDelete
  142. I don't like milk full stop. I've always thought the idea of drinking milk from another animal is minging, as are eating eggs. Strictly speaking drinking breast milk and eating human ova is less minging.

    Wouldn't recommend it though. All we need is Pepsi Max and Subways. Why have anything else? Perfection has been reached, we should stop wasting time faffing about with these rare cuisines because at the end of the day they're pure and utter shit. Whos with me?

    ReplyDelete
  143. Do Subway serve steaks? Do they have mince-pies? Any pies?

    Do they have motton-karahi? Or Grilled lamb?

    If the answer to any of the above is No, then no Rod, I am not with you.

    ReplyDelete
  144. Just wait until Ben & Jerry get a whiff of that idea, they'll kidnap her and (literaly) milk the poor wench for everything shes got.

    Along with Cherry Garcia and Chunky Monkey they'll soon be offering Blue Tit Flavour.

    ReplyDelete
  145. You could get a steak baguette probably. Pies are nice but I think the main ingredients could be better used - i.e. Mince pies would be better without the pastry and cheap processed meat. Stick the meat in a bread roll and its perfection.

    ReplyDelete
  146. Shit I forgot about peanuts. Yeah, all we need to survive in utter perfection is Pepsi Max, Subway and peanuts.

    ReplyDelete
  147. I grew up in Northern Ireland and have travelled a fair bit and I can honestly say with hand on heart (Rod should back me up here). That the food there is the worst slop on the planet.

    I went to see my mate not so long ago to a town just over the border from Derry (Ballybofey?) and did have a rather magical kebab at 'AbraKebabra'.

    When I go back to Norn Ireland I always feel nostalgic when I get terrible food.

    ReplyDelete
  148. Here's taking cheating to the next level;

    http://video.nl.msn.com/watch/video/voetballer-bezorgt-zichzelf-blessure/5ceantaz

    ReplyDelete
  149. All this talk about Subway, Rod isn't an abrieviation of Jared (Jarod?) is it?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jared_Fogle

    ReplyDelete
  150. All I say for NI is that yesterday a plane landed in Belfast, flying in from Tripoli and all on-board demanded to be taken back to the place where, 'things are looking up'

    ReplyDelete
  151. Inter Milan goalkeeper Julio Cesar left his car at the San Siro and walked home after the Italian team lost in the last minute to Bayern Munich in Wednesday's Champions League tie.
    Full story: Metro
    -----------
    Yawn!!

    You wanna impress me then do that after the away game.

    ReplyDelete
  152. Mostly Redundant, Abrakebabra is fucking stinking!! Yeah Ballybofey is halfway between Derry and Donegal town. I think food heres pretty much ok. Its a lot cheaper to eat in restaurants and stuff.

    For the best food outside Subway, you must try Wheelers in Derry. Its offers beautiful food at the weirdest price, e.g. a burger would cost £2.13 or something. Failing that theres quite a few dinky donuts stalls around Derry.

    I'm so bored I might just leave work early to get the cheap thrill of dobbing.

    ReplyDelete
  153. Certainly a contender H2H :-
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFq4N6ndzSg

    ReplyDelete
  154. mind you this is not to clever either:-
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzmy7fcv9U8&feature=related

    ReplyDelete
  155. Is this a wind up?
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-12569011

    ReplyDelete
  156. This is pretty funny

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4ZY9sJe0rY&NR=1

    ReplyDelete
  157. Right fuck it I'm outta here, don't tout on me. I'll find out where you live and shit on your pillow.

    ReplyDelete
  158. This is pretty cool, following on from Rod's link. Altnough you have to endure a 30 second ad from jug ears.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ff4XuPtAOUk&feature=related

    ReplyDelete
  159. H

    was that a draw between you and Adam on the other side, he also did a good put down on MrBB

    ReplyDelete
  160. Indeed Tone.

    I thought it was a terrible article, more worthy of the awful 606 pages then so called "expert analysis".

    I don't bother with the beebs blog much anymore, but that one needed comenting on.

    Adam had a jolly old time contridicting everyone. :)

    ReplyDelete
  161. Beeb gossip column courtesy of Bo
    -------------
    Bundesliga club St Pauli included one of their press officers in the squad to face Hannover 96 last weekend because of a lack of fit defenders.
    ----------------

    And I thought they were playing Hannover tomorrow, lets not let a fact get in the way of a story

    ReplyDelete
  162. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  163. I just checked that Blog out again Tone and they're still going at it.
    WoW made an appearance and agreed with the author so now I know I was right that it was a shit piece.
    Adam has been outed as a Stoke fan.

    ReplyDelete
  164. Time to hit the bar.

    I'm gonna need to do some serious drinking before tackling my ffl team, around 50% of my team is unavailable.

    With a bit of luck I'll get plastered and then not bother.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Holloway2Holland said...
    Time to hit the bar.


    Hopefully that's the new motto of the Newcastle team ahead of Bolton's visit. And not a breast milk titty bar.

    mornin' Lads.

    ReplyDelete
  166. G'day all

    No review of diving would be complete without the master.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSIfgYW4dwc
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBBhYrWZnFM&NR=1
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1F4hrnWb5IA
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJU7x7EiXI

    ReplyDelete
  167. I.........am.......so.........full.........up..........from..........dinner........

    ReplyDelete
  168. Fast forward to five mins in. This is one of the most underrated dives of all time. I wonder why.......

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Td1r3vUuA78

    ReplyDelete
  169. This one is courtesy of barber Jack

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsEbf-o83fc&feature=youtu.be

    ... and a follow on from Spits SnM.

    ReplyDelete
  170. Ha ha, that clip is class. Its a good job Cristiano or Didier didn't see it.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Great quote from Wenger about getting abuse from Barcelona after signing one of their 16 year old trainees: "If you go in the academy of Barcelona and you look where all the players come from, come back to me and we can talk about it."

    Morning all.

    ReplyDelete
  172. yeah, it's true, Barca have been raiding the wombs of teenage French nuns.

    ReplyDelete
  173. Not just French nuns.

    Wenger is an equal opportunity fetis employer.

    ReplyDelete
  174. Drunk enough to sink a battleship and managed to change my ffl team.............


    DOOMED!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  175. After sliding from 7th to 18th in two weeks in the FFL, I have taken it bad. Morale is at an all time low. In the absence of any fit midfielders, my team have resorted to the long ball game. And we're shite at that too by the looks of things. Rumours of Big Sam taking my place were only heightened when I found a packet of chewing gum in my bed. Sort of like a really crap mafia message.

    ReplyDelete
  176. Injury/ selection crisis at the Pie Key HQ.

    Can't use Fabregas or Ridgewell because of the CC, can't use Carrol because he's still injured and Adam decided to choose this week to pick up another 5 yellow cards and get himself suspended.

    ReplyDelete
  177. Arsene Wenger stars in Womb Raider

    the intrepid, large breasted arsenal coach fights evil conqistadores holed up in the Bolivia jungle

    Plotting to dominate world football the conqistadores have been raising stolen children, fed only on human breast milk, human breast milk ice cream, human breast milk ice cream, and human breast milk clotted cream

    ReplyDelete
  178. '...he loved the haters so much that their hate turned to fear.'

    ReplyDelete
  179. Blog

    Whats happening on the coach?

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/teams/p/port_vale/9407897.stm

    ReplyDelete
  180. Guten Morgen Tone,

    that Vale Bus 'incedent' looks like a modern day mutiny where getting of the bus enroute to the club is akin to having been made to walk the plank in the olden days.

    Does not look good, does it?

    ReplyDelete
  181. Gruss Gott as you say down there, or is that just bayern?

    Can they work together again? Not sure, I said at the time Gannon is one of those merry go round managers, not necessarily achieved a lot, but then we at the lower of the market have to put up with such things, when good young managers depart for greener pastures eg Adams, Robins

    I hope it doesnt upset the Vale too much, as long as they finish behind the Millers

    ReplyDelete
  182. They say Gruss Gott down here too. The weirdest german greeting ever has to be for a bunch of us from office on a hiking trip in the Austrian mountains and on a drinks break up a peak were greeted by a passing shepherd by the unmistakable, 'Sieg heil'

    The old man just walked away leaving the multikulti bunch in a hush.

    ReplyDelete
  183. the other one that gets me is mahlzeit, anytime from mid morning to after lunch,or sarcastically for latecomers

    What do you think of your chances tomorrow? I hope for AW and the fans they do it

    ReplyDelete
  184. I am cautiously optimistic for the CC Final but think the team will struggle in absence of Fabregas and Walcott.

    More so Walcott since on a good and huge Wembley pitch, he could help push the Burmi back 4 all the way back.

    Nasri looks off pace since his return to fitness.

    More important for me would be no more injuries even if they lose. Got bigger fish to fry.

    Would be well chuffed if we won, mind.

    ReplyDelete
  185. I can't believe it's not breast milk butter.

    mornin' Lads, let the games begin.

    ReplyDelete
  186. Noon Trott,

    Bolton going all guns blazing against the magpies. C'mon ye whites.

    ReplyDelete
  187. half me friggin team injured and berbatov starts on the bench...oh the life of an FFL manager.

    Hopefully colch is equally screwed.

    ReplyDelete
  188. AH, yep, SAF fucked me over too by benching Berbatoss.

    Damn him and the little pea(nus)

    ReplyDelete
  189. Come on Gooners, run 'em ragged tomorrow, we need 14 hamstring/groin injuries for Brum and a big cup hangover for the Gooners to give Orient the edge.

    Can't watch the Trotters until 5pm Spit, delayed recording here but I have 3 magpies in the team against you! Not looking good.

    How many games ban is Rooney about to get?

    ReplyDelete
  190. the "dubious elbow to the back of the head panel" will meet on Tuesday.

    ReplyDelete
  191. it's time for him (and us) to turn over a new leaf.

    ReplyDelete

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