Monday 15 November 2010

Vettel They Do Now?

Well they all told me down the Blue Bell that I had to watch it. It’s the closest race for the Formula 1 World Drivers Championships in years. Four drivers could still lift the trophy. Obviously, I shrugged, I’ll have to watch it.

When the Beeb bought the rights for F1 back a while ago, I wrote a blog saying how tedious the sport was and, not that this is a martial state or owt, I was advised to withdraw it in favour of something milder. Or blander. Or at least nowt to do with F1.

Since then, the Beeb have gone overboard on it. Every time I turn 5live on I’ve heard David Croft’s voice on a trailer purring ‘Let’s Go Racing!’ as if he’s some tiny Clarkson-operated puppet.

Nevertheless I tuned in for the grand finale. In Swansea. Where the Boro had an anonymous defeat to get through. And there it was. Brundle and Jordan pottering up and down the pits like a couple of bewildered reality TV celebs – offering no insights but soaking up the testosterone like two man-sized tissues.

Jake Humphrey was on the cusp of a climax all afternoon n all. Here are a bunch of blokes who only have to whiff a bit of Castrol GTX to come over all hot and sweaty. I mean God help any driver who left his petrol cap off round there... Lord knows what he’d find in his tank.

Hi there, car-lurverzzz. You don't wanna know where my pecker is right now. Hmmmm

These men are the acme of all that is disturbing about petrol heads. I’ve never so much as groaned at the sight of a motor car – let alone these aerodynamic slivers of tin and advertising that these millionaires sweep around the car-parks of the world.

Of course in the world of Top Gear that makes me a frigging eunuch. (If that’s not a contradiction in terms).

I’d have more interest in F1 if the drivers had to incorporate a bit more of what drivers actually do rather than sitting in a me-shaped hole on a wheeled playing card while computers and pit crew told them everything.

I mean that’s not driving. Robbo’s F1’d be miles bloody better:

1. Put your own bloody petrol in the car.
2. Change your own tyres.



3. Try driving with a Ginsters pasty and a grab bag of Quavers between your thighs.
4. Roundabouts. Loads more crashes and lots of bibbing at each other. Cracking.
5. Make the traffic on the grand prix circuit two-way. With an overtaking lane.

In fact, let’s just make sure it’s possible to overtake. Cos that was the worst aspect of the Abu Dhabi Doze and almost every other F1 race I’ve ever seen. Barely one car went past the next. Every overtaking manoeuvre was attempted from the pits.

I mean it’s bloody ridiculous that a race should be decided by how quick some blokes in overalls get your tyres on. Frankly, Vettel and co could’ve been given the day off and we could have just had a petrol pump-off between Red Bull and Ferrari.

Ferrari have been caned for their strategy. Well you know what – if it was a foot-race – a marathon or summat – and your lad lost, there wouldn’t be any inquest into the blokes who didn’t give their runner his water and new trainers at the right time.

And whether you get off on the sound of noisy throttling and the scent of turtle-wax or not, there has to be a better way to decide who is the best driver of these freaks of technology than stuff that happens, effectively, off the track.

Back on track are, of course, Sunderland. Yes. Sunderland. I watched the highlights but you only have to look at the stats to know that the Black Cats toyed with the Blue mice all afternoon. What’s going on?

Well Chelsea were more all over the place than Brucie’s nose. And a midfield of Ramires and Mikel are little better than what Man U have available when Scholes is getting his breath back. Chelsea’s squad suddenly appears puddle-deep.

But it’s too easy to blame Chelsea. Sunderland were, annoyingly, magnificent. Even at 2-up you still thought Ancelotti’s men would mount a comeback every time someone said the name ‘Bramble’.

This is the team that got shellacked at St. James a fortnight ago. But it’s one of them seasons. I’ve heard some bemoan the lack of quality. Maybe, but if that makes things a bit more even, then great.

Man U keep hauling themselves back from the brink – theirs must be the poorest unbeaten run in the history of football. Man City are still up there despite the lavish expenditure leading to pretty nil.I saw this play called Art once, in which this bloke had spent a bleeding fortune on a painting that was nowt more than a white rectangle. Change the colour to sky blue and that’s Man City. Honestly, I’d rather watch Formula 1 right now.

Arsenal continue to graft out the results and Wolves keep not winning and playing well. Which means they’re doomed.

In fact, I’m loving this season so far, not least cos we’ve got some highly quotable managers.

Last week Mick McCarthy managed to get through a little monologue about pink boots without uttering the single word ‘poof’, although you could tell it was right on the tip of his tongue (don’t leave that image in your mind too long, people).

Here's Wolves's latest training session

Olly Holloway’s outrage at questions regarding his wholesale changes of personnel at Villa Park were a delight. Remember not to meet Ian for coffee. Sam Allardyce lamented the indeficiencies of his team at WHL. – me either - and ‘Arry Redknapp is... well ‘e’s ‘Arry, innie? Salt o’the earth, no messin’, don’t buy a car off ‘im, etc.

All of them – plus Brucie and Pulis – are old-fashioned English eccentrics. Not quite top-drawer players who’ve become in their own ways very good managers. Long may the refs and the FA give ‘em summat to get arsey about.

407 comments:

  1. Surely Not First?

    Webber dogged it. Talks big but always chokes in the really big races (ie every home GP).

    Will probably have to wait another 30 years for an aussie to be in contention again.

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  2. I watched the start of the race... went out for a Roast... Came back saw the results. Thats all you ever need to do with F1

    F1 this year has only been exciting when the safety car has been called out... tells a story in itself.

    What do you think of the England Squad Robbo? Disappointing that Cattermole has not made it in where as Barry has! what is there to learn about Barry?!?

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  3. :( couldn't get first because I had to read it

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  4. ColchesterFC said...

    Morning all. Good news in the world of football. I'm no longer bottom of the FFL H2H league after two wins in a week. As usual I will be gracious in victory and simply say.....

    Black Tongue your FFL team suck donkey dick!!!

    And a message to Star who is looking for a new manager for his team and has threatened to poach my cat. I think you'll find the preferred cooking method for cats is to lightly fry them with garlic butter and serve with new potatoes.

    -----------------------------

    No need Colch, the cat is safe, I came back from xmas shopping alive, mind, if my FFL lot don't arrest their run of 3 straight defeats in the H2H my survival might well have been irrelevant.

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  5. Nah, most exciting thing in the Abu Dabi doze off was Alonso throwing his toys at Petrov. That for someone who holds Alonso in the same regard as anther user on here holds for Federer, was priceless.

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  6. Still, Kobayashi was a breath of fresh air this season, if only because he blatantly has no concept of what a stopping distance is.

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  7. top blog robbo

    modern personal airbag technology is extremely effective and useful in crash, wheel-changing and sexual scenarios

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  8. Robbo if they wanted to make F1 more like real driving they could start with making the cars have foot pedal clutches.

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  9. Hey Robbo - F1 rocks.

    I was pleased to see Vettel win the Championship. Bad luck Webber lost it and Alonso is a cheat.

    Bring back Raikonnen to Ferrari.

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  10. Williams have dropped Hulkenberg .... pillocks.

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  11. SS11- Agree about Alonso. I thought it was pretty average how he lost it at Petrov. If you are not good enough to pass a slow driver you dont deserve the championship. Alonso made alot of mistakes trying to go around him especially in the last 5-10 laps I cant believe Webber wasnt close enough to try and pass him when he did.

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  12. F1 rocks? Give me some and I'll pelt bernie Ecclestone with 'em. I just don't get it. Unlike cars in the actual sport it must have passed me by.

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  13. I was glad to see Petrov take his hands of the heel, shrug after Alonso had a go at him and then got back on the wheel and tried to ram him.

    Good on him to show that Spanish prick he's not going to take being slapped around like that.

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  14. I think it was a mistype by SS11 Robbo.

    I believe he's keen on Antiques Roadshow and meant Fi Rocks.

    She does have a nice bottom Ms Bruce.

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  15. my version of F1 would be themed team racing, e.g. a couple of cavemen in a car made of rock, hillbillies in a motorised apalatian shack, a group of tiny gangsters in a 1930s roadster, lewis hamilton in the turbo terrific and nicole shcwerstenwatsername in a pair of wolves pink boots and nothing else at all except a coy smile

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  16. the limits on squad size seems to be affecting the big teams - suddenly 25 (8 homegrown) looks a bit paper thin.

    The problem is the 8 homegrown + youngsters. They haven't really bothered for a decade nurturing English talent and now theyre getting caught out. Good.

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  17. sunderland vs chelsea was like haye vs fraudley harrison gone wrong

    but gyan looks good though doesnt he?

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  18. Still need to find a way to ensure the "homegrown" players are actually english. Are there any provisions for replacing players in the 25 man squad if there is a long term injury or if a club loses a few players to the African Cup?

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  19. Anyone under 21 doesn't need to be registered, sothey can be used during injury crisis or African Nations etc.

    Strange thing about home grown players rule, as Fabregas is home grown yet Spanish, Hargreaves is English but doesn't count as home grown. So English players who learn their trade abroad are almost classes as foreign.

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  20. All this about u21's makes me glad we've got kids like Rose on the books at Spurs.

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  21. Do you think he'll bloom into a good player then Star?

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  22. I think he already has blossomed, which is stalk contrast to other youngers such as George Thorne from WBA.

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  23. Don't care what he does, I'll always remember that absolute thunderbolt volley he scored against Arsenal earlier this year. :)

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  24. I like F1 coz of unpredictability. Although, over taking moves have reduced considerably and a lot depends on the race engineers providing info to the drivers. But the thrill of F1 still exists for me.

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  25. Alonso is a defensive guy. He never takes risk. He won the title in 2005 only because Raikkonen ruined his car almost each race. M.Schumacher presented him the title in 2006 when his Ferrari broke only once. Alonso never fights, he's very dirty and scandalous. Remember his conflicts with Hamilton in 2007 and how he won Singapor GP in 2008. The last race of this season just proved that he wasn't great at all. The 2-time World Champion Alonso is and why he couldn't beat Petrov? Why? Simply because he's a lucky guy and he must thank Fortuna for granting him World Titles. He's nothing. He can't fight. He can't win. The only skill he has is WAITING for the mistakes of the rest.

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  26. In fairness to Alonso SS11,he knocks up a mean paella.

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  27. Yep.He's not a Ferrari material. Massa deserves more.

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  28. Michael Chopra has flown to Dubai for talks about playing international football for India. The Cardiff striker, who has played for England Under-21s, has Indian-born grandparents. (1110 GMT)

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  29. another mercenary trying to curry flavour with a big paymaster so he can take away noodles of cash and appear on top of the popadums. (ignore the fact that it doesnt exist any more)

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  30. Not sure how Chopra will get on in India,the kulcha is very different.

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  31. I'm sure there are a few curry houses in Wales, so the culcha shock might not be too great

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  32. BTW, ROBBO

    I'm with you on F1, tho I did watch part of it, before switching to the tooffees v Arse

    90 mins concentration, Prof, you were under the kosh the last 15

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  33. 'ello tone.

    Well played at the weekend.

    Bale on the bench,schoolboy error.

    Ngogo mistypes on here,also a schoolboy error.

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  34. Jackov mis-haps on here.

    Old Man River.

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  35. http://www.football-league.co.uk/page/ChrisCharlesBlog/0,,10794~2203665,00.html

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  36. Ngog. are you an error or a schoolboy?

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  37. Oh and Jacks, thanks for the substitution,
    on the other side RBA brought in Nzogbia after the final whistle to creep past me by 1 pt

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  38. So, your idea of what F1 should be would be a lot more like this:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Figure_8_racing

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  39. Kevin
    No but having spent5 years on the other side of the water, I got into Nascar, at least you get overtaking in that sport and at similar if not higher speeds(at some tracks)

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  40. I'd just like to mention at this point that Alonso is a cunt, racing for a team of systematically cheating cunts.

    Why? Because I felt like it. And it's true :)

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  41. mornin lads, Grand Pricks Robbo. That lass in white has a fine pair of double headlamps.

    F1 is worse than ever, it's totally detached from reality, week 1, give 'em all a mondeo off the production line and see who wins. Week 2 a Jeep. Week 3 a Mini etc etc. Blocking, two finger salutes, cell phones only to call the pits and road rage should be encouraged. And they all have to stop at the first corner to buy a newspaper and pick up shit for the wife.

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  42. Evening fellas and the adorable but tricky BHB

    http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Weird-News/Gunther-Von-Hagens-Sells-Body-Parts-At-Newly-Opened-Plastinarium-In-Guben-Germany/Article/201006115641469?f=rss

    Is this mr BHB?

    Oh and those nice glazers are going to pay off the PIK debt....see they are alright after all.

    Lastly, but not er least...ly... well done SS11, i forgot to change my team again, but you would have smashed me anyway.

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  43. Just like F1 really...

    A man on his own in a car
    Is revenging himself on his wife;
    He open the throttle and bubbles with dottle
    and puffs at his pitiful life

    She's losing her looks very fast,
    she loses her temper all day;
    that lorry won't let me get past,
    this Mini is blocking my way.

    "Why can't you step on it and shift her!
    I can't go on crawling like this!
    At breakfast she said that she wished I was dead-
    Thank heavens we don't have to kiss.

    "I'ld like a nice blonde on my knee
    And one who won't argue or nag.
    Who dares to come hooting at me?
    I only give way to a Jag.

    "You're barmy or plastered, I'll pass you, you bastard-
    I will overtake you. I will!"
    As he clenches his pipe, his moment is ripe
    And the corner's accepting its kill.

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  44. I used to like f1 but its like watching the same race over and over

    I guess with the new austerity we'll be gokarting and the money will flow into robot camel racing

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  45. Great blog as usual Robbo

    Congrtas to Seb Vetterl and Red Bull but bloody hell F1 has become boring. I still remember actual races between Schumi and Hill, Villeneuve and later Hakkinen. It was certainly much more intersting and fun then.

    And Bloggy, I will actually pay to go and watch your version of the race.

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  46. Huddlestone out for 3 months. At least we have plenty of cover in midfield, but even so I think we'll miss him. The big bastard.

    I thought this season in F1 wasn't too bad to be honest. The rule changes made it a bit more exciting, but having said that, the last race was shite. Why do they build circuits where people can't overtake?

    How do Scholsey. How's the job going? The Glazers say they will pay off some debt? I thought that was the point in debt - you had to pay it off at some point. Saying they're going to pay it off is like saying SWP is fucking useless - they're just stating the obvious.

    I see the usual race to pull out of the England squad has started in earnest. Still some glaring omissions from the squad though. Baines, Jarvis, and where is SWP???!!

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  47. Hullo Noel,

    With Huddlestone out, does it mean that Jenas will start every match? Which brings me to...just what exactly is the point of Jenas???? He is like Chelsea's Kalou - absofuckinglutely useless

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  48. Howdo Potato,

    Don't know who will replace him. He's a defensive midfielder, so we have Palacios and Sandro to play there, or if he wants someone more attacking then it'll be Jenas, Krancjar, maybe Bentley or Dos Santos. Luckily, midfield is the area where we have plenty of cover.

    Jenas ain't as bad as Kalou!! He was in Jose Mourinho's fantasy team after all.

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  49. Is Krancjar healthy and fit etc etc....if so then why isn't Harry not using him more? From what I have seen, he seems to be a much more effective player than Jenas or Bentley.
    One thing's for certain, as more or less a neutral, your team has been the most entertaining so far.

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  50. Krancjar came on a few games ago and didn't do much, so I think 'Arry has the 'ump with 'im. I think a lot of the possible replacements blow hot and cold, but certainly last season when Modric was out with his broken leg, Krancjar was awesome. If he gets a decent run in the team then he'll be good. I'd like to see Dos Santos given a chance as he had a great World Cup, but I don't think he'll get much of a look in.

    Yeah I think we've played some great footie this season. Can't believe some fans were booing against Sunderland. Once Defoe and Dawson are back from injury then we should pick up the league form a bit.

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  51. Any news of when Dawson might be expected back? Its your defense which is losing points, your attack is awesome, you aren't missing Defoe that much.....I hope you guys beat Arsenal

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  52. Morning all.
    Chris Gayle, unbeaten 312, what bets on that he beats Brian Lara's record?

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  53. Great, so the Hudd's going to be out for a spell.

    FFS are we in competition with Arsenal for the 'most first teamers out injured' award now?

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  54. If the award function is next month, then Star you lot will be winning without much competition.

    We have most of the players coming back except Vermaelen, Diaby and Ramsey.

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  55. Chelsea has a fair amount of first team injuries too btw

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  56. Man Utd injuries..... Rafael, hargreaves, Anderson, Valencia, Giggs, Owen, Rooney, Kuczaczk (spelling?).

    All teams have them, so deal with it!

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  57. 1st team injuries

    Chelsea - Terry, Alex, Lampard and Drogba (well anyone suffering from malaria is defo not fit)

    Spurs - Dawson, Huddlestone, Defoe, King is always injured

    Arsenal - Van Persie, who is basically the Dutch version of Hargreaves, only a little better, Vermaelen and Diaby

    Manchester U - Rooney

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  58. I forgot Valencia and Giggs.

    Ngog - You really can't include Hargreaves, his injury is one of those constants in lives, you know like death, taxes etc etc

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  59. True Potato.

    But if he was ever fit, he would be a first teamer!

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  60. Surely Van Persie is the same and can't be counted as a first teamer if Hargreaves isn't counted?

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  61. true true but then again Hargreaves fit is almost sci-fi territory.....much like Total Recall, which they are making a remake of for some reason...http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2010/nov/15/colin-farrell-schwarzenegger-total-recall

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  62. come on Van Persie is only fit for 2 months every year (possibly coinciding with horse breeding seasons)...he is quite consistent that way

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  63. Anyone got JT in their FFL?

    He might be out for around 3 months...........

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  64. Now why would I have a cheating cunt like him in my team Ngog?

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  65. True, it doesn't affect me either Star, but BHB might have him in or some others who don't mind cheating cunts.....

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  66. whether he cheats or not is his wife's problem not mine, I didn't take him in FFS coz he doesn't score goals or make assists regularly

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  67. I don't care either Potato, old habits die hard for me ... I keep forgetting there's no mods to bait any more hehe

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  68. I've heard he has scored a few times and been credited with a few assists........

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  69. FOOTBALL:Andy Carroll & Jordan Henderson to start for England v France, Jack Wilshere ruled out

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  70. Good form away from home ... allegedly.

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  71. @ Ngog: of course he has, but he isn't a regular scorer or assist giver plus his value is quite high

    what happened to Wilshere? did he get injured

    @Star: do you think we should petition Robbo to bring in a few mods for old time's sake? its certainly weird looking at a Robbo blog without seeing dozens of "this post has been removed..." under your numerous avatars

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  72. Potato,

    I can't comment on John Terry's value for money. Maybe ask Wayne Bridge?

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  73. asking ex-mrs bridge might be better

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  74. Starfire said...
    This post has been removed as it breaches the house rules.

    Niow doesn't that look more familiar

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  75. Niow Adam?

    Do you own a cat with a speech impediment?

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  76. Ah, now that looks familiar hehe :)

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  77. Good stuff Robbo.

    I couldn't agree more, watching F1 on tele is about as exciting as listening to golf on the radio.

    It's all about the techno nerds and computers, the actual race is no longer the point.
    I say give all the drivers the same kind of car, but first get their kids to hide the keys, they then have to complete the course while finishing off a piece of toast, that they didn't have time to eat before the start, while trying to balance a mug of hot coffee in a dodgy beaker holder without spilling any while going around corners.

    ps, love the pic of the lady in the white dress, although I always thought that airbags were supposed to be fitted inside the car?

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  78. Its in Hargreaves contract that he stays injured

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  79. Jacks, this could be good;

    http://www.imscouting.com/global-news-article/Ipswich-keen-on-loan-deal-for-Arsenal-youngster-Jay-Emmanuel-Thomas/12066/

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  80. We could do with something to kick start our season H2H.

    Just hope he can have the same effect that Wilshere had for Bolton last season.

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  81. He does really well in the reserves Jacks, I think he could do the business in he Championshiop and I've read that AW wants him to get more experience, so it makes sense that he would send him to your guys.

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  82. Evening all (bendy knee thing)

    Well I have to say you were all very restrained with your derision and merriment at Chelsea losing on Sunday - I was expecting a lot worse. Though having watched the match, I don't think we could have played any worse if we'd tried really really hard to. On the plus side, there doesn't seem to be any Sunderland supporters around on here lurking or otherwise so I don't have to even pretend to be gracious in defeat

    Well done Bo in the head-to-head - was a bit gutted to lose by one point but it's good to see AH there with his sympathy!

    Ngog - when I used my wildcard I removed all cheating c-u-next-tuesdays out of my team so it was bye-bye Rooney at that point

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  83. Liverpool boss Roy Hodgson is ready to move for French right-back Rod Fanni from Rennes as he looks to replace Glen Johnson.
    Full story: Daily Mirror

    -----
    A Fanni to replace a Johnson, tee hee.

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  84. Well we need something.If he's as good as the noises coming out of Arsenal suggest then I welcome him.If there are any others going spare,Fabregas,Nasri,Arshavin,Sagna,we'll take them.

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  85. Stoke manager Tony Pulis wants to take Aston Villa midfielder Stephen Ireland on loan in January - and save him from his Villa Park nightmare.
    Full story: Daily Mirror

    -----
    Like playing for Stoke is a players wet dream?!?

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  86. Tottenham have drawn up a shortlist of possible next managers if Harry Redknapp should replace Fabio Capello as England coach. David Moyes is top of the list, which also includes Guus Hiddink, Roy Hodgson and Rafa Benitez.
    Full story: goal.com
    ------

    Benitez to Spurs would be briliant!

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  87. To be fair BHB, even though you lost by a point, Bo had about 250 points sitting on the bench, you had Mattock.

    I think you should go in for a major overhaul this weekend and use you wildcard, a la Bo.

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  88. Hopefully that Spurs wishlist is in random order. Cant believe they would place Hodgson higher than Rafa.

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  89. 'Bells.

    Comiserations for Sundays result *tries hard to keep straight face*

    But I think you'll find that we were almost all Sunderland fans last weekend. ;)

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  90. AH - not sure I've got this FFL thing entirely sussed. Similar to my credit card bill, I spend lots on 'luxury' items then scrabble around trying to afford the essentials!

    I'll give using the wildcard thing a go - have you used yours yet Bo.

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  91. Holloway2Holland said...
    'Bells.

    Comiserations for Sundays result *tries hard to keep straight face*

    But I think you'll find that we were almost all Sunderland fans last weekend. ;)



    I do believe H2, that 'almost all' actually means that I was/am the one and only Chelsea supporter here ....

    Anyway it's home/wine time so I'm off

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  92. I'm afraid you are/were 'Bells.

    We need a more diverse fan base, come on lurkers from oyter teamd, show yourselves.

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  93. David Beckham says his three sons - two of whom were born in England and one in Spain but who have spent the last four years living in America - laugh at his London accent (Daily Mirror).
    -------
    Doesn't everyone?

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  94. Hiddink or Moyes I'll happily take if we lose 'Arry ... Hodgeson, well I can't judge him yet. Even midas would have trouble turning crap to gold.

    Rafa ... yeah, jog on.

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  95. G'day all

    We seem to have lost all of our one-eyed supporters (even adam has pulled back some in recent times).... makes it difficult to get into an argument nowadays, although I'm sure I could manage to do so without trying too hard.

    Speaking of cheating cunts; they all seem to be injured or off sunning in Dubai at the moment... the England team is looking refreshing clear of them... seems that injuries was the only way Capello was going to change the old guard... I am hoping that this crop do well enough to keep their place when the golden generation recover fitness.

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  96. We need a more diverse fan base, come on lurkers from oyter teamd, show yourselves.
    ===================================================

    are oyter teamd in the dutch second division H2?

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  97. BlueH, you wont be sorry if you use your wild card... I used one of mine by the way.

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  98. Bo, knowing what we're like the kids can thump France 19-0 and the old guard will still waltz back in as if they own the team.

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  99. an essential update on the gig last night...

    AHA were awesome in an eighties kinda way...bless 'em...now to try and get tickets for Madness.

    football?? pah!

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  100. The O's managed to beat Dag and Red in the cup, maybe things are on the up at Brisbane Road... what with a recent win in the league... the way were going we'll end the season in credible mid table mediocrity.

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  101. Star, I guess that's what comes from being an England supporter.... we are destined never to be blessed with selectors with a sense of adventure ... good ol' staid conservatism... stick with what we know, change is bad.

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  102. The O's play Droylsden (affectionately known as the Bloods) in the next round of the cup... every chance of advancing to the third round, mind you we play them at the butchers arms ground so there is no gaurantees.

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  103. @H2H: well I am a fan of my local club Mohun Bagan...u can look them up at www.mohunbaganac.com and www.mohunbaganclub.com

    Internationally, I support Germany

    and European club wise, I don't like Juventus, Manchester United, Real Madrid and Barcelona.

    In England, if I have to pick any of the big 4, I would pick Chelsea, since their fans are the least arrogant, otherwise I also like Everton..and this season have really enjoyed watching the 3 promoted teams and Spurs

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  104. Sounds like the O's are heading into a bloodbath Bo.

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  105. Potato
    Good Morning/afternoon/evening

    Well spoken, just for one comment, Chelsea Arrogance,
    Fans, yes, Players definitely yes, current coach very honest in his assessment of each game

    ReplyDelete
  106. I should add, as an exception to the arrogant fans, our very own BHB, who like the majority on here are very honest about their own teams abilities, well apart from ADAM, who wears oftensimilar specs to Wenger

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  107. Well it looks like the escaped lab rats of t the meeja have scuppered the wc bid but this time I'm on their side

    Fifa eh. Put the French in charge of anything and capitulation to an oppressive power in the east is just a matter of time.

    I think Spain/portugal should get it btw they need the money.

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  108. Fresh out of a maths exam and just sipping on a cool bottle of VB to celebrate the end of my first year at uni. Only three more to go. Fucks sake.

    Blogs, McNumpty was back to his best in his latest 'blog'. Plenty of cliche's to pick your way through. I was thinking of you when I read it. And not in a weird way.

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  109. Zee frogs, zoot alors,merde a FIFA, Platini et ses amis
    Congrats Blog 4-0, now Stanley, hope we beat York tonight, then I can go to Darlo next week when I'm home

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  110. Noel I saw that. Phil mcnulty is like capello a bit thick. He wants to be a vivid writer but can't do it. I agree its hilarious that he keeps trying, i admire him for it. For a while now he's been controlling the urges.

    I started writing a catechism and then gazutd appeared on my shoulder whispering "childish".

    ReplyDelete
  111. But for every GazUtd there is a Helsinki Arab - talking mostly rubbish, but happy in his own cloud of nirvana, and just egging you on to write it.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Unfashionably I liked gaz Noel but the bitterness that is the birthright of every Irishman crept into his soul in the end

    Tone good luck with that. Is there anyone on here that isn't deracinated from a crappy homrtown?

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  113. I think i arrived just as Gaz left so didn't really catch why his fuse blew. And neither did I know him so can't comment about what kind of bloke he is.

    ReplyDelete
  114. G'day all

    Don't ask my opinion of Gaz, Noel... I am biased.

    Blog... I am just another of those that had migration thrust upon me as a child... not sure if you would consider Upper Clapton a town though... crappy for sure.

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  115. Morning all.

    Spent last night at Stoke City.Elizabeth is now a member of the Stoke City 7s.Given a shirt by Robert Huth,no less.Good god he's tall.

    However,all the Stoke team are growing 'taches this month to raise money for a Testicular Cancer charity.Good to see(not the tache though,obviously)

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  116. Holloway2Holland said...

    Almunia Jacks?
    ______________________________

    Oddly enough,we do have a good keeper.So thanks,but no thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  117. That's a bit unfair Jack... have to take the good with the rubbish mate.

    ReplyDelete
  118. Ah, a friend of mine had grown a goatee for that Jack

    ReplyDelete
  119. 'Spose I'd better get up off my arse and earn some money. Laters peeps.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Are you doing a bit of bragging there Star... about having a friend I mean.

    ReplyDelete
  121. G'day Bo,

    In fairness to Almunia,he'd be far and away the best keeper in the championship.I am prepared to negotiate.We'll take Almunia as long as we can also have Sagna,Nasri and Fabregas.We'll also take Van Persie.

    Our physio is bored at the moment and needs something to do.

    ReplyDelete
  122. If I grow a goatee Star it has 3 different colours in it.Fair,red and grey.

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  123. That's similar colours to my beard when I grow it Jack.

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  124. You would know Jack, being 84 and all.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Was the last comment really at 09:19 this morning?

    ReplyDelete
  126. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/c/chelsea/9199147.stm

    Which leg?

    Wasn't Wayne Bridges ex Wife Italian?

    ReplyDelete
  127. Turkish club Fenerbahce are lining up an £18m move for Manchester United striker Dimitar Berbatov. (0730 GMT)
    Full story: imscouting.com

    Why pull on fans heart strings with this?

    ReplyDelete
  128. Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini is set to do battle with Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson as they attempt to land the services of Sunderland's 20-year-old midfielder Jordan Henderson.
    Full story: Daily Star

    =====================

    As a side issue, I work with Henderson's mother. So if he does go to Man Utd, some tickets may come my way............

    ReplyDelete
  129. This blog is busier than Craig Gordon was on Sunday afternoon......

    ReplyDelete
  130. What do you call a man with a small penis?

    Justin.

    ReplyDelete
  131. So....Noone(plymouth) is at work today?

    ReplyDelete
  132. Ah, Spits is working.....well, I use the term loosely.

    ReplyDelete
  133. Sorry I mean star, don't know why I wrote spits..... you were justin time there mate..... ;-P

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  134. Anonymous you make my balls ache with your machismo!

    Anyway......England look worse than Liverpool! at least they have two World class players and why oh why is Crouch not a starter under the circumstances? Carroll comes from the Barton school of C***, both playing for Borstal united. It gives those bar codes a whole new lease of life.

    Seriously though Anonymous, you are hot xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  135. G'day all

    That was a bit like watching a Championship game without the tempo. I thought Gibbs was caught out of position with the second goal although he had no cover from Young. Why was Gerrard playing a holding midfielder role... should have played anyone there to allow Gerrard to play a more attacking role. The poser of the year has to go to Lloris?? the France goalkeeper, he made every catch seem like the save of the decade. Overall a pretty average match played out by two pretty average teams.

    ReplyDelete
  136. Crouch... he's the player nobody wants in the team but he delivers regularly.

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  137. Tis true Bo, and in the ITV studio the pro's tried to say England were playing a lot of youth and that was their excuse. It was then pointed out that France and England had the same amount of caps (271). I am under no delusions though England are average at best. I truly wish they would do a Germany (not invade Poland) and scrap the oldies and bring through all the youth at once, take a few hammerings and then progress

    ReplyDelete
  138. And what kind of training are these young players given? I was listening to radio 5live pre match and Rio Ferdinand said with regards to debutant Carroll,'I remember when I was cumming into a goldfish bowl'.

    ReplyDelete
  139. I'd like to see that too MT but it isn't going to happen is it... if there wasn't the injuries, we would have fielded the same tired old team that has represented England for the past... seems like 100 years.

    ReplyDelete
  140. who is MT... sorry about that MR... it's an age thing.

    ReplyDelete
  141. No probs Bo, I'm getting that now too. It just seems we are going down the wrong path again. Before the match the commentary were bigging up Carroll by saying defences would be scared of him and I wished they meant it in a Henry way (Arsenal days) but they meant it in a physically scared context which is depressing.

    Capello has back tracked on nearly everything he said when he came into the job, players on form, no big names holding places, discipline off the field,unfit players in squad, back tracking on Beckham. It's a joke, the only reason he is there is they can't afford to buy off his contract. I don't think he's a bad manager just not the right one.

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  142. BLOG, just got in and bollox, lost 3-0 to a non league side.
    I think we are heading in the wrong direction even if we have the leagues topscorer

    ReplyDelete
  143. So it seems I didnt miss much on the friendly match either
    Is it the manager or the players? methinks desptie what I said a few months ago, its FC

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  144. Ok then lads, and BHB. Should I stick with Drogba, Chamakh and Berbacouldn'tgiveatov, or change it to Drogba, Tevez and Carroll/Elmander? After playing my wildcard a few weeks ago (I recommend it Bo), I've got idle hands again and want to make a change.

    In other news, I need to make a confession - I'm half French (zut alors!) so I can sit on which ever side of the fence is greener after lastnights' game. And on this side of the fence the cows are all burning in roadblocks caused by striking lorry drivers and there is a faint whiff of garlic. Oh Fabio. What are you doing??????

    ReplyDelete
  145. lol @ Anon ... and he was accusing Robbo of running out of steam ...

    ReplyDelete
  146. Why the fuck was Jagielka playing as RB when he's proven himself as a CB?

    Oh well, least Crouchy scored ... does this mean France are inferior/poor opposition then?

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  147. Much as it hurts me to say this, but we need to bin Capello (that bit doesn't hurt me in the slightest) and put 'Arry in charge, or someone of his ilk: Namely someone who'll play the XI based on form, isn't afraid to stand up to any players who get the arse about being left out because of this, and who'll get the team playing some good, attacking football.

    ReplyDelete
  148. Why waste more money. Let Capello do his thing until 2012 Euro's. Then he will leave, no payment needed by the FA. At this point, the "older" players will have retired and the "younger" players will be 2 years older, more experienced and better players. Then someone like 'Arry, can gel a team together rather than 11 ego's together.

    ReplyDelete
  149. I rate Micah Richards far higher than Glenda Johnson.

    So should the England team for qualifying be...

    Hart
    Richards Rio Terry Cashley
    Parker
    Lennon Gerrard Lampard Johnson
    Rooney

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  150. Future team, post 2012.

    Hart
    Richards Smalling Jones Gibbs
    Walcott Henderson Rodwell Johnson
    Rooney Carroll

    ReplyDelete
  151. Future team, post 2012.

    Hart
    Richards Smalling Jones Gibbs
    Walcott Henderson Wilshere Rodwell Johnson
    Rooney

    ReplyDelete
  152. I'd have Jagielka as a CB Ngog ... he's played fine there. Still no idea why Capello had him out as a RB yesterday ... might as well told him he was starting up alongside Carrol for all the good it did us.

    ReplyDelete
  153. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/m/man_utd/9202453.stm

    Bryan Robson never used to cry......

    Brilliant comment.

    ReplyDelete
  154. Star, not sure Jagielka is better than Rio or Terry.

    Maybe equal to Terry as Terry lacks any pace and so can be found out if his positioning isn't absolutely perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Well he's done all right in the games he has played in when Terry/Rio were out injured

    ReplyDelete
  156. I agree he is good player Star. Just not sure he is better than our first choice.

    I think he had cemented his place as the 3rd best CB we have though.

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  157. mornin' Lads, on the path to glory there's always a stepping stone or two that'll sink in the mud. The World Cup is in the bag.

    ReplyDelete
  158. And where the fuck is literally everyone else except us two anyway? :s

    ReplyDelete
  159. Oh, Trotts joins in.

    Not sure where in the blue fuck everyone is mate....

    ReplyDelete
  160. well, if I was in England I'd be out doing some Royal Wedding souvenir shopping, so you two might have done yours already.

    ReplyDelete
  161. Trotts, I had a royal shit this morning. That's the closest to a souvenir.

    ReplyDelete
  162. haha, Kate should be next England manager

    ReplyDelete
  163. Hmm, I'll have to try that line more often if it gets people posting lol.

    Morning Trotts :)

    Nah, no Royalty guff here. Not against them by any means but I can't be bothered with all the fuss we'll hear in the news for the next year about every tiny frigging detail about the wedding, and I certainly got more than enough sense to not waste my money on an overpriced mug for the occasion.

    Besides, I've grown rather fond of my Hagrid mug :P

    ReplyDelete
  164. TrotterUSA said...

    well, if I was in England I'd be out doing some Royal Wedding souvenir shopping, so you two might have done yours already.
    _______________________________________

    I'm delighted that there is to be a royal wedding.

    We need some new tea towels.

    ReplyDelete
  165. G'day all

    Hope you guys leave a few of the Royal souvenirs for when I land on your shores.

    Don't know why you are sorting out your post 2012 England team... it wont change until 2016 when the golden generation hit 40.

    ReplyDelete
  166. Spurs being linked with Gourcouff today. That would be good if it ever happened. He's very much like Zidane, but not quite as good.

    Capello has to go. He said that he'll go after Euro 2012, but by then England will be a further 2 years behind in their rehabilitation. Get rid and start afresh, like France have done, and how Germany did a few years back. Nothing will change while he's there - the same players will be picked, the same tactics adopted, the same useless fucking performances. Excuses about it being a friendly, or there were lots of injuries are crap - the result would always have been the same. If everyone had been fit then what would have happened? Gerrard would have been on the left because Fat Frank would be playing behind Rooney, until Rooney got himself sent off because he was frustrated with the tactics and his own shite form. Terry wouldn't have stopped the goals because he's too slow. Glen Johnson wouldn't know where he was, and SWP would still be running somewhere in North London with his head down. Rip it out and start again.

    ReplyDelete
  167. Just seen teh Jacks Barber Shop head to head fixture list and think it is time to do the David Haye trash talking stuff.

    Only problem is Ngog's team is probably better than mine (as evidenced by the league table) so it probably won't have much effect.

    ReplyDelete
  168. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...
    I rate Micah Richards far higher than Glenda Johnson.

    So should the England team for qualifying be...

    Hart
    Richards Rio Terry Cashley
    Parker
    Lennon Gerrard Lampard Johnson
    Rooney
    -------------------------------

    I agree with Richards over Johnson

    I would go for

    Hart
    Richards, Ferdinand, Jagielka, Cole
    Walcott, Parker, Gerrard, Johnson
    Rooney, Bent

    This I feel would give us better movement than we currently have. I like Carroll, he is very similar to Kevin davies but I would be worried about tendencies just to lump up high balls to him.

    If we can get him and Rooney playing the way Lineker and Hately/ Alan Smith did then that would be excellent.

    With the right coach Rooney and Bent could be a modern day, Beardsley & Lineker type combo.

    ReplyDelete
  169. SWP: The one man who would find a dead end on the Circular line.

    ReplyDelete
  170. Why are we going for yet another midfielder? We need a sodding striker that can get a few goals.

    There's no point having the worlds best midfield if the strikers can't hit a cow's arse with a banjo.

    Tell me we can do better than what we've got on the strikers front. Defoe was on fine form before he got knobbled and Crouch works well with VdV.

    Those aside, we've got a lackadaisical Russian (still tearing my hair out over that peno he missed vs Blackburn) and an Irishman who's past it.

    ReplyDelete
  171. I don't thinke Keane is past it he just never gets a chance to play. He'd be better off going to Wolves or West Ham where he could get first team football regularly

    ReplyDelete
  172. I blame Liverpool Adam ... they broke him. Dunno how, but they did.

    ReplyDelete
  173. adampsb said...

    I don't thinke Keane is past it he just never gets a chance to play. He'd be better off going to Wolves or West Ham where he could get first team football regularly
    ____________________________________

    I'd be delighted to see him go to West Ham.

    We are talking about Roy K**ne aren't we?

    ReplyDelete
  174. i was at wembley last night and we were poor in the first half, especially the first 15 minutes where they just sat back and let the talented midgets dribble and pass triangles around them

    rio was slow to react for benzemas goal and over all the defence looked ponderous and bereft of ideas "Oh hoof it up to Carroll!" the ship has sailed on that thick english footballer approach

    overall : first half - i enjoyed the Mexican wave.

    Second half was a different story. Fosters distribution was appalling and we still gave it away too easily with those misplaced long balls out of defence - in midfield we werent great, BUT defensively we looked much better with jagielka more central and Fat Barry replaced.the breakaway goal was a bad sign but afterwards it was all england.

    we totally dominated the second half - i was behind foster and the match was basically at the other end of the pitch, so I'm a little bit surprised about the knee-jerk criticism in the media because we were good - kieron gibbs and micah richards looked the business, jagielka much better in a central role, johnson was terrorising their defense.

    my mates a gooner and he always says walcott looks good in the highlights but does f-all for 99% of the match and that was definitely the case last night. I would NEVER play him in preference to Johnson who was brilliant when he came on. Its not the case that the french are necessarily better than us technically - johnson, gibbs, gerard in particular.

    stevie g is still our best player his movement is superb.

    there you go a serious football post with no sign of a fart joke.

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  175. Confucius say, Man who fart in church must sit in his own pew

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  176. Liverpool thought captain would play no more than an hour
    --------------
    too bad

    country first, club second.

    ReplyDelete
  177. jacksofbuxton said...
    adampsb said...

    I don't thinke Keane is past it he just never gets a chance to play. He'd be better off going to Wolves or West Ham where he could get first team football regularly
    ____________________________________

    I'd be delighted to see him go to West Ham.

    We are talking about Roy K**ne aren't we?
    ----------------

    Robbie unfortunately for you although if Avram doesn't improve and Ipswich don't go up Roystron could yet end up there anyway

    ReplyDelete
  178. was at wembley last night and we were poor in the first half, especially the first 15 minutes where they just sat back and let the talented midgets dribble and pass triangles around them

    rio was slow to react for benzemas goal and over all the defence looked ponderous and bereft of ideas "Oh hoof it up to Carroll!" the ship has sailed on that thick english footballer approach

    overall : first half - i enjoyed the Mexican wave.

    Second half was a different story. Fosters distribution was appalling and we still gave it away too easily with those misplaced long balls out of defence - in midfield we werent great, BUT defensively we looked much better with jagielka more central and Fat Barry replaced.the breakaway goal was a bad sign but afterwards it was all england.

    we totally dominated the second half - i was behind foster and the match was basically at the other end of the pitch, so I'm a little bit surprised about the knee-jerk criticism in the media because we were good - kieron gibbs and micah richards looked the business, jagielka much better in a central role, johnson was terrorising their defense.

    my mates a gooner and he always says walcott looks good in the highlights but does f-all for 99% of the match and that was definitely the case last night. I would NEVER play him in preference to Johnson who was brilliant when he came on. Its not the case that the french are necessarily better than us technically - johnson, gibbs, gerard in particular.

    stevie g is still our best player his movement is superb.

    there you go a serious football post with no sign of a fart joke.

    ---------------------

    Gibbs and Richards are simply rusty from not enough regular football this season (Rio and Lescott have had much teh smae problem) so that will sort itself out. A young experimental team is definitely the way to go with friendlies but better if you have booked San Marion, Faroes or somene we can actually beat with a reduced line up to give new players confidence.

    Conclusions from last nigfht - Drop Barry & MIlner and do it quickly

    ReplyDelete
  179. adampsb said...
    Just seen teh Jacks Barber Shop head to head fixture list and think it is time to do the David Haye trash talking stuff.

    Only problem is Ngog's team is probably better than mine (as evidenced by the league table) so it probably won't have much effect.
    ==============

    It should be a good game adam.

    In the Robbo H2H, I am at home to Star. Again, another good game awaits.....

    ReplyDelete
  180. All depends on which set of Pie Keys turn up Ngog: The ones that can play the European Champions off the park or the ones that turned up last week that would have struggled against Fucking Bottlers FC (Gillingham)

    Yeah, my FFL lot are a lot like Spurs for form, ironic as I've no Spurs players in it. The day I put Bale in is the game he'll fall foul of an x rated tackle that'll break both his legs.

    ReplyDelete
  181. From what I saw of the game, most of the first half and bits of the second, England looked toothless and lacking in ideas.

    Bloggy, Walcott is a decent enough player, but, I always think he should be used from the bench as an impact sub in the last 20 mins or so, thats when he's at his most useful.

    Did anyone see Portugal spank Spain?

    Ronaldo threw a complete hizzy fit when Nani headed his excellent chipped finish (which was already over the goalline) from a supposedly offside position consequently getting the effort disallowed. I literaly thought he was gonna cry, and I'm sure he wet his pants a bit, bless.

    ReplyDelete
  182. Wayne Rooney on the brink of greatness after Milan show, says former Chelsea boss Ruud Gullit
    EXCLUSIVE By Ruud Gullit 18th February 2010

    ---------------------

    well it was the brink of something, ruud, excessive greed, terminal decline, obesity, 40-a-day habit, public humiliation, hubris, decline, oblivion, divorce, did i mention decline?

    but not greatness. sad.

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  183. id agree with that H2 but it would be like sending on a couple of circus freaks as impact subs, crouch from the catacombs and little speedy gonwalcott with his pop-out shoulder.

    in all seriousness he does look as though he's afraid of mixing it with defenders, perhaps a relic of his injury problems with that shoulder. i can't think why else such a fast talented player should consistently see so little of the ball. he actually doenst look as though he wants it.

    ReplyDelete
  184. Blogs, Theo is great at running away from defenders, leaving them for dead, not so good at running at them.

    ReplyDelete

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